Chapter 8 The second chapter is implicit: easily achieve the effect of the winding path leading to the secluded

It is certainly a good habit to speak straight and say what you think, but sometimes it is inevitable that you will encounter situations where it is inconvenient, unbearable, or impossible to speak directly.In this case, if you speak frankly, it may affect interpersonal relationships, cause trouble for yourself, and hurt others.In order to avoid unpleasant things from happening, it is still necessary to pay attention to some skills when speaking on certain occasions, such as intentionally saying something similar or related to the original intention, and expressing what was originally said directly by hinting or implicitly.

The language that goes to the end is easier to be accepted by others, better able to express respect for others, and achieve the purpose of effective communication and exchange of ideas. The "Sixth Ring" in the first issue of "Reader's Digest" in the United States in 1988 tells an implicit story. It was during the Great Depression in the United States, and a 17-year-old girl managed to find a job as a salesperson in a high-end jewelry store.On the day before Christmas, a poor customer in his thirties came to the store.He was dressed in tatters, with a sad and angry expression on his face.He stared at those high-end jewelry with an unattainable gaze.The girl was going to answer the phone, and she accidentally knocked over a plate, and six exquisite diamond rings fell to the ground. She hurriedly picked up five of them, but the sixth one could not be found.

At this time, she saw the man in his thirties walking towards the door, and suddenly, she realized where the ring was.When the man's hand was about to touch the handle, the girl called out softly, "I'm sorry, sir!" The man turned around, and the two of them looked at each other in silence for a full minute. "What's the matter?" he asked, the muscles in his face twitching. "What's the matter?" he asked again. "Sir, it's my first time working. It's hard to find something to do now, isn't it?" the girl said sadly. The man looked at her for a long time, and finally, a soft smile appeared on his face.

"Yes, indeed," he replied, "but I'm sure you'll do well here." After a pause, he took a step forward and extended his hand to her: "Can I bless you?" Immediately the girl extended her hand too, clasped her hands tightly together, and said in a low but very soft voice: "Good luck to you too!" He turned and walked slowly towards the door. The girl watched his figure disappear outside the door, turned around and walked to the counter, and put the sixth ring in her hand back to its original place. This is a case of theft.The usual way people deal with this is to find ways to catch the thief.But the girl did not deal with it so simply, but achieved the expected goal politely with a few words.This subtle way of cleverly using hints is worth savoring carefully.

You must know that this happened during the Great Depression in the United States. Many people could not find jobs, and the girl's job was especially precious.If a ring was stolen, the consequences would be disastrous.Even if the thief is caught and the ring is taken back, and the boss finds out what's going on, the girl will be fired for negligence at work.What's more, he was a down and out person, and the kind girl didn't want to make it worse and hurt this poor man who had nowhere to go. "I'm sorry, sir!" The girl first called the man calmly with a polite salutation and a moderate tone.This not only conveys information, but also creates an atmosphere of mutual respect and harmony.If he spoke indiscriminately or spoke too harshly at the time, the man might have made two steps in three steps and disappeared outside the door, which might have disturbed other colleagues, which was not what the girl wanted.Moreover, this kind of polite address not only creates an atmosphere, but also undoubtedly has two layers of meaning: one is that he is suspected of stealing the ring; the other is that you can rest assured that I will never treat you in a rough way.

When the man asked two "what's the matter" in succession, the smart girl affirmed her judgment from his expression and the way he asked, and also gained insight into his delicate inner world.She felt that the man in front of her was not a habitual thief, but a good man forced by poverty, and she would probably accept her own way of handling it.The girl decided to continue to use implicit hints: move with emotion, understand with reason, to achieve the goal. "This is my first job", implying that I, like you, can't find a job through all kinds of hardships. resonance. "It's hard to find a job now" is meant to complement the previous sentence, and the implication is that if you take this ring away, I will lose this job, and it will be very difficult to find another job, just like You are the same now.These two sentences drew the emotional distance between himself and the man very close.At the end, yes-no interrogative sentences such as "Is it?" are used to arouse the man's further thinking, strengthen the semantic strength, and expand the hinting effect.

When the man conveyed the message that he was willing to return the ring, the girl held his hand without losing the opportunity, and said "good luck to you too", expressing her sincere gratitude and best wishes, and comforting the frustrated man's emotional loss and guilt. The girl showed her eloquence cleverly, and finally realized her beautiful wish. Expressing good wishes with implicit language skills can achieve unexpected results. Words have everything but meaning is endless, and the rest of the meaning is in the words.When speaking, the method of deliberately hiding the important part that should be said, or not revealing it, but letting others understand what you mean is called the implicit method.

Implicit is a rhetorical device.It refers to not expressing the original intention when speaking, but using euphemistic words to set off or hint, so that people can think about it.And the more you ponder, the deeper and farther the meaning becomes, so the more attractive and appealing it is.It is an art to speak euphemistically and implicitly.The reason why implicitness is the art of speaking is that it reflects the speaker's skill in controlling language, and it also shows trust in the audience's imagination and understanding. In a large airport ticket hall, many tourists are queuing to buy tickets.

Suddenly, a gentleman in a well-fitting suit rudely accused the conductor of being too inefficient and wasting his precious time, and said to the conductor self-righteously, "Do you know who I am?" Facing the gentleman's sharp and slightly threatening words, the conductor did not quarrel with him, but smiled and said to other passengers: "Can any of you help this gentleman remember, he no longer remembers who he is!" The passengers suddenly burst into laughter, and the gentleman flushed with embarrassment. There are many things in life that "you only need to feel, not to say".If the speaker does not believe in the rich imagination of the audience and tells all the meaning, such shallow and bland words will not only make people happy, but will also make the speech lose its charm.When Lenin studied Feuerbach's "Lectures on the Essence of Religion", he excerpted this passage: "By the way, the playful writing technique also lies in: it expects the reader to also have wisdom, it does not tell everything, but lets Readers themselves should state those relationships, conditions and boundaries—only when these relationships, conditions and boundaries are met will the sentence be true and meaningful.” It can be seen that implicitness mainly has the following three aspects: effect:

First, people sometimes feel shy and embarrassing when expressing some kind of concern or making some kind of request, but the expression of implicit hint can solve this problem. Second, everyone has self-esteem.Maintaining or hurting the self-esteem of the other party is often the direct cause of affecting the quality of interpersonal relationships; while some expressions, such as refusing the other party's request, expressing opinions different from the other party, criticizing the other party, etc., can easily hurt the other party's self-esteem.At this time, the implicit way can often achieve the purpose of not only completing the task of expression, but also maintaining the self-esteem of the other party.

Third, sometimes in a certain situation, for example, because of the presence of a third party, it is inconvenient to say some things, and then a reserved way can be used. Under what circumstances should you speak with restraint? It is said that Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty hoped that he would live forever in his later years. One day, he said to his courtiers: "It is said in the photo book that the longer the 'renzhong' under a person's nose, the longer his life; the longer the 'renzhong' is, the longer he can live. A hundred years old. I don’t know if it’s true or not?” After the courtier Dongfang Shuo heard this, he knew that the emperor was dreaming of immortality again. The emperor saw that Dongfang Shuo seemed to be sarcastic and displeased, and shouted: "How dare you laugh at me?" Dongfang Shuo took off his hat and replied respectfully: "How dare I laugh at the emperor? I'm laughing at how ugly Peng Zu's face is." Emperor Wu of Han asked, "Why are you laughing at Peng Zu?" Dongfang Shuo said: "It is said that Peng Zu lived to be 800 years old. If it is true that what the emperor said just now, the 'human middle' is eight inches long, then his face is about ten feet long, right?" Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty laughed when he heard this. Emperor Wu of the Han happily accepted this euphemistic and implicit criticism. When people talk about Lu Zhishen in the movie, they will immediately think of his outspoken "straight barrel" image.In fact, even Lu Zhishen, who is the most straightforward, cannot do without euphemisms sometimes, and sometimes speaks reservedly.The TV series "Lu Zhishen" tells that after Lu Zhishen beat Zhenguanxi to death with three punches, he had to shave off his hair and become a monk in order to avoid being hunted down by the officials.There is such a line in the play: Dharma Master: With the end of life, you are not close to color, can you hold it now? Zhishen: Yes. Dharma Master: To the end of your life, do not drink alcohol, can you hold on now? Zhishen: Yes. Dharma Master: To the end of life, not to kill, can you hold on now? Zhishen: (hesitates) Dharma Master: (Quickly urging) Can you hold on to the end of life without killing? Zhishen: Got it. If Lu Zhishen is not close to women and does not drink alcohol, he can do it; if he does not punish and kill the wicked in the world, it is really difficult.But at this time, if the answer is "no", the mage will not allow him to shave his head to become a monk, and he will have nowhere to hide, so he will respond flexibly and answer "I know".It is really the best of both worlds to pass the test in front of the mage without violating his original intention. Once upon a time, there was a hotel owner who had a very bad temper.One day, a guest came to drink, and after taking a sip, he shouted: "It's so sour! It's so sour!" The boss was furious when he heard this, and he couldn't help but tie up the guest and hang him on the roof beam.At this time, another customer came and asked the boss why he hanged people. The boss replied: "The wine in my shop is obviously sweet and mellow. This guy insists that it is sour. Do you think you should hang people?" The visitor said: "Can you hang people?" Let me have a taste?" The boss brought him a glass of wine graciously, the guest took a sip, frowned and squinted with sourness, and said to the boss: "You put this person down and hang me up?" The guest said tactfully and reservedly The statement not only received a strong satirical effect, but also appeared very artistic. Someone once asked U.S. President Lincoln: "How does it feel to be president?" Lincoln replied: "Have you heard a story? A man was tarred and feathered all over, and transported outside the city by train." This People asked: "How does it taste?" Lincoln said: "If it is not for the honor of this matter, I would rather walk." It is really subtle and appropriate.One sentence does not lose the honor of being a president, but it also makes people feel the hardships of being the president of a big country. There is a legendary basketball coach in the United States named Pemel.He led the Deere University basketball team won 39 domestic championships, so that the fans dumped.But one year, after winning 29 consecutive championships, his team suffered an unprecedented defeat.As soon as the game was over, reporters flocked to him, surrounded him, and asked him how the defeated master felt at this moment.He smiled and said humorously: "Great, now we can go into battle lightly and go all out to compete for the championship. There is no more burden of championship on our backs." Stevenson, who ran for president twice and lost to Eisenhower, never lost his sense of humor.When he was first nominated to run for president, he admitted he was flattered, quipping: "I don't think complacency hurts anybody, that is, as long as you don't breathe the air." That morning to Eisenhower, he greeted reporters at the door with a tone full of humorous force: "Come in, come and do the autopsy on the baker." One day a few years later, Stevenson was invited to speak at a dinner party.He was delayed by the passing of the military parade on the road, and he was late when he arrived at the venue.He apologized, explaining, "Army heroes keep getting in my way." Stevenson's subtle language, his light, subtle one-liners, and his euphemisms, changed his image in people's minds. The image of him makes the audience feel that he is not a loser, but a winner, making him indelible in people's hearts and worth remembering. This is the beauty of speaking euphemistically and implicitly. We often need to express some difficult meanings to others, such as requests, negotiations, criticisms, etc.The reason why these words are not easy to say is that human beings have self-esteem, and no one wants to be rejected, blamed and treated coldly.Most people have self-important thoughts deep in their hearts, and they all think that they should be the best. Once the reality does not match their wishes, their arrogant self-esteem will be bruised, which will turn into sadness, hatred, contempt, jealousy and other bad emotions. , and will show up sooner or later. Therefore, if you say something bad, you will offend others and cause trouble for yourself. Fortunately, language is characterized by diversification. The same meaning can be expressed in various ways, and people who are preoccupied will have different reactions when they hear the same meaning expressed in different ways.This situation makes the wise way of speaking very useful, and also proves to us: the self-esteem unique to human beings as a higher animal is a kind of stupid psychology, because wise men can use this childish psychology to play people in the stock market. palm. For example, if you want to criticize an article written by a person, if you are blunt, you will obviously embarrass him.However, you can put it another way, find out some merits in his articles, satisfy his self-esteem first, wait until he is elated and regards you as a close friend, and then put forward criticism suggestions, so that he will accept you wholeheartedly For your opinion, I admire you very much.You can say something like this: "I just want to read the beginning. I found that you are always good at writing the beginning to attract people's attention and arouse people's curiosity. If the ending is not written like this, but in a different way, it may be It’s more in line with the beginning, don’t you think?” Since his self-esteem has not been touched, of course he will consider your opinion calmly and humbly. What to say is important, but how to say is even more critical. People's emotions often blind people's eyes, making them unable to see through the language behind the language, and can only understand the most superficially from the other party's language. Therefore, it is completely possible to say what he likes to hear on the surface, and hide the real intention in these words, that is, "there is something in the words", so that he will follow your thoughts willingly. A customer walks into a rug store and sees a rug. The customer asked: "How much is this carpet?" The shop owner immediately received him warmly and replied: "24 yuan and 80 cents per square meter." After hearing this sentence, the customer left without saying anything.Apparently, he felt the price was a little high. A friend of the shop owner was watching, and said, "Your sales method is too old-fashioned, you should change it." So he tried to say in a salesman's tone: "Sir, this carpet is not expensive. Let your One dime a day is enough for the bedroom to be carpeted." The boss was very puzzled, and the friend hurriedly explained: "Assuming that the bedroom carpet needs 10 square meters, it will cost 248 yuan; the life of the carpet is 5 years, more than 1,800 days, isn't it more than 10 cents per day? A cigarette There is no money." The boss slapped his thigh and suddenly realized: "Gao! Your move must be effective." Sure enough, with another expression, the business of the store is much better. On many occasions, the words of both sides of the speech are not always sharp, sharp and straightforward, but sometimes they need to be euphemistic and subtle, insinuating.Sometimes, using pleasant words, gentle and subtle tone, approachable attitude, twists and turns and cryptic code words can make the other party understand and trust themselves, so as to achieve the purpose of persuasion and produce a surprising effect. Euphemistic and tortuous persuasion can avoid the formation of confrontation due to direct narration causing harm to the other party, and allow the other party to accept our point of view and gain a common understanding while savoring our language carefully. For example, taboo for the venerable is an important reason for euphemism.The ancients did not dare to speak directly about the actions of the emperor, father and elders, but expressed them in a roundabout, euphemistic and tortuous way. In 613 BC, Xiong Lu, King Zhuang of Chu, succeeded to the throne. At that time, the government was controlled by Dou Ke and Prince Xie, and King Zhuang was just a puppet.In the first three years of his accession to the throne, he drank and had fun day and night, and issued an order: those who came to persuade him should be executed.Seeing that the political affairs of the imperial court were in chaos and the country was declining day by day, the minister Chenggong Jia risked his life to ask Zhuang Wang to meet him.When King Zhuang saw Chenggong Jia, he asked loudly, "Don't you know my order prohibiting persuasion?" Chenggong Jia replied in a feigned panic, "How can I not know the king's order? I came to come up with riddles for Your Majesty added to the fun." When King Zhuang heard this, he changed his anger into joy and said, "Tell me about it." Cheng Gong Jia said, "There is a big bird on the Nanshan Mountain, which has been standing on a big tree for three years without moving. I don’t know what kind of bird it is.” Zhuang Wang pondered for a while and said, “If you don’t fly for three years, it will soar into the sky; if you don’t sing for three years, you will make a blockbuster. It’s an extraordinary bird. I understand what you mean. You go down!" From then on, King Zhuang changed his decadent style, took care of the government, promoted the capable, and got rid of traitors, and the country flourished day by day. In ancient times, when courtiers saw that the king had made a mistake, they all paid attention to subtlety when admonishing them.If the minister harms the "Long Yan", he will be beheaded.Chenggong Jia used euphemistic arguments, so that King Zhuang of Chu happily accepted his advice.Let's look at an example below: Once, King Qin and Zhongqi had a dispute, and as a result, Zhongqi won, but King Qin lost.In the middle period, he walked out of the palace swaggeringly as if nothing had happened.King Qin was furious and furious, determined to kill Zhongqi to relieve his hatred.At this time, a person close to King Qin who was close to Zhong Qi said to King Qin: "This person in the mid-term is really a thug and doesn't know the rules at all. Fortunately, he met a wise monarch like the king to survive. If he met a tyrant like Jie and Zhou, he would have died long ago!" When the King of Qin heard this, he couldn't blame the middle period any more. When King Qin was furious, he had to defend Zhongqi. If he bluntly persuaded King Qin not to kill Zhongqi, it would only add fuel to the fire and be counterproductive.At this time, the friend in the middle period adopted a euphemistic and twisted style, but a few simple sentences have rich meanings.There are both accusations against Zhongqi, hints that if you kill Zhongqi, you will be a tyrant, and if you don’t kill Zhongqi, you will be a sage. . Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty's nurse committed a crime outside the palace, and Emperor Wu wanted to deal with her according to law.The wet nurse asked Dongfang Shuo for help.Dongfang Shuo said: "If you want to be rescued, when you are about to be taken away, keep looking back at Emperor Wu and don't say anything. There may be a glimmer of hope." As the nurse passed by Emperor Wu, she turned her head three times at every step.Dongfang Shuo stood beside Emperor Wu and said to the wet nurse: "You are too stupid, the emperor has grown up now, how can he still need your milk to feed him?" After hearing this, Emperor Wu showed a sad look on his face, and finally pardoned the wet nurse. Dongfang Shuo also used euphemism to defend the wet nurse.He indirectly and implicitly expressed not to forget the nurturing grace of the wet nurse, which is far better than directly persuading Emperor Wu not to punish the wet nurse. Due to the complexity of the meaning, when the other party really fully understands the original meaning of the sentence, they have already lost the opportunity to fight back; and because of the indirect nature of the expression, the other party is not easy to attack.This is like a soft knife, and the other party has no choice but to bear the pain silently and alone. In the park, the blooming roses hang down heavily outside the railing.A young man stood next to the girl to flatter her and said, "You are the most beautiful girl in the world. You see, the flowers are too shameful to lift their heads in front of you, and only I am worthy to be the green leaf to set you off." The girl pointed to the cactus beside her and said, "No! Look, why is that cactus standing upright in front of me?" "How can you be compared to you with a stupid cactus? It has thick skin and thorns all over its body, which is disgusting!" The girl smiled slightly: "Yes, why doesn't it know how to be shy?" On the surface, the girl was talking about cactus, but she actually expressed her shameless disgust for the other party. We can use this method when we don't want to say something directly. The daughter borrowed her father's car to go out for a tryst with the young man, but ended up in a small car accident.Then the lad asked, "What did your father say about that?" "Do you want me to leave out the bad word?" "yes." "Fine. Then he didn't say anything." This girl didn't want to say that her father said bad things, but said "he didn't say anything", which gave people a feeling of generosity. Of course, it should be appropriate to use euphemisms, especially not to make insinuations, cynicism, or sarcasm at others.Such as: It is commuting time, and there are many people taking the bus.A managed to squeeze into the car, let out a long breath, and accidentally bumped into B in front. B said bluntly: "What are you doing, who doesn't know that this year is the Year of the Pig." When A heard the fire, he refused to give in, and replied: "The year of the dog has passed, what's your name!" Attacking each other insinuatingly like this is a "pig" or "dog", which is a manifestation of lack of moral cultivation and uncivilized. Regarding implicit expression, there are roughly the following methods: Carefully study the internal relationship between things, use synonyms to express your thoughts, and achieve implicit effects; To express one's thoughts by using language with unclear denotational boundaries or extremely generalized connotations to achieve implicit effects; There are many rhetorical methods, such as metaphor, metonymy, pun, allusion, etc., which can achieve implicit effect; For some things, it is not necessary to point out directly, but to point out a larger range or direction, and let the listener think deeply and seek answers according to the prompts, which can achieve an implicit effect; By answering some of the other party's questions from the side, you can achieve a subtle effect. Pay attention to the use of implicit methods, implicit does not mean obscure.Its performance skills are firstly based on making people understand, and at the same time pay attention to the scope of use.If the speech is obscure, there is no connotation at all; if the connotation is used regardless of the occasion, it will cause bad consequences.