Chapter 4 Chapter 3 Getting Rid of the Fear of Public Speaking

People have different levels of public speaking level and different types of mental states, and they have different performances when speaking.The main psychological types are as follows: Impulsiveness refers to a state of mind that does not care about the consequences, acts rashly, has strong emotions, and lacks rationality.People of this type are often in a state of high emotional excitement, like an open gas stove, which will ignite when it encounters sparks.Its manifestations are that they are not calm enough when encountering problems, easily get angry, eager to express their opinions, like to speak well, and make decisions easily.Most of the speeches are blurted out, without carefulness, strategy, and consequences.Either choke the listener so embarrassed that he cannot communicate with him; or expose himself to the listener; or annoy or even irritate the listener, making the listener fight back.

However, this kind of heart is magnanimous, without any cover or hindrance.Just like beans in a bamboo tube, pour them out with a snap, and when the pouring is over, he will be fine and calm, and often there is no stage fright, and he often talks endlessly when he is interested. There are many such heroes in Liangshan, such as Lu Zhishen, Li Kui, Ruan Xiaoqi and so on.Li Kui and Yan Qing went out and stayed in a manor house. Hearing that the owner of the manor said that Song Jiang had robbed his daughter, he immediately yelled at Yan Qing: "Brother Yi, come and listen to what this old man said. My brother was duplicity, no Good man!" Yan Qing persuaded him: "Brother, don't make any mistakes, it will definitely be fine!" Li Kui said: "He went to Li Shishi's house in Tokyo, and I'm afraid he won't do it here." Then he ignored the persuasion and ran away. Returning to Liangshan, he chopped down the apricot-yellow flag that "walked the way for the sky", pointed at Song Jiang and cursed: "I usually treat you like a man, but you turned out to be a beast! You did such a good thing!" After the fact was clarified, it turned out that A robber pretended to be Song Jiang's name, and he woke up and admitted his mistake.His psychological quality not only does not affect his position in the hearts of readers, but makes people know him more honestly, frankly, and more lovely.But when speaking in public, people of this type need to control their emotions and think twice before acting, so as not to not only fail to achieve the effect of expression, but also cause unnecessary trouble.

Rationality is a manifestation of the ability to control behavior intellectually.This kind of person is emotionally restrained, not easy to express, and good at controlling emotions.Don't rush or rush when encountering problems, and deal with them calmly; don't easily express affirmative or negative statements; words are often spoken after careful consideration, and are more thoughtful and strategic.This kind of rhetoric is easy for the listener to accept; even if it is unacceptable, it will not cause great conflict.However, this kind of person sometimes misses things at critical moments when a decisive decision is needed.Some opportunities are fleeting, never to be missed, never to come again, and when you think about it, it will be too late.Moreover, if it is too rational, it will make people feel hypocritical and deep, and it will not be able to gain the psychological approval of the audience.

For the speaker, the rational mind is superior to the impulsive mind.As long as you can show decisive courage and properly express your inner feelings in an emergency, you will be welcomed by the audience, and it is very beneficial to speak in public. The dominant type refers to that the speaker occupies a high position in the process of public speech by virtue of his superior conditions in terms of position and ability.For example, you are a leader, expert, professor, or celebrity, and the audience is just ordinary people; or you are a representative of a big country or a powerful group, while the other party represents a small country or a weak organization.

When such people speak in public, they often make some unusually high-profile remarks, either intentionally or unintentionally.If it is intentional, he will set himself high and look like no one else; if it is unintentional, but because of his special status, he will also generate a kind of pressure from top to bottom in the ears of the listener.This is a one-way communication, the listener has no way to understand it, and has to let you talk.If it is a two-way conversation, although the other party has the responsibility to answer, they will appear cautious.To a certain extent, it will affect the effect of communication between the two parties.

High-ranking people have two different manifestations: one is self-important, conceited and stubborn, and you listen to what I say.The other is perfunctory, indifferent, you can listen or not. Shen Jianhong recorded such an incident in his "Eight Years of Envoy to the United States": When Shen was serving as Chiang Kai-shek's English secretary and translator, Chiang once hosted a banquet for visiting foreign guests, and invited Dong Xianguang, an English teacher in middle school, to accompany him.During the dinner, the foreign guests asked Jiang if he had ever learned English. Jiang said: "I have, but the teacher is not good, so I didn't learn much." The foreign guests asked: "Who is your teacher?" Dong Xianguang said: "This is my teacher." Dong Xianguang was extremely embarrassed, and he looked restless throughout the banquet, as if he was sitting on pins and needles.With his high position as president, Chiang Kai-shek is domineering and completely disregards the traditional Chinese virtue of respecting teachers. This is a typical manifestation of the dominant type.

For public speakers, the dominant psychological type is undesirable. If you don’t put yourself in an equal position with the audience, or improve your personal quality and self-cultivation, it will be harmful to public speaking. This is a comprehensive mental state with no senseless impulse, no intentional restraint, a high position without arrogance, and a low position without inferiority.His words are neither humble nor overbearing, and impartial, which makes people listen to the spring breeze and drink the rain. People with this mental state are bound to be welcomed by the audience when they speak in public.Even if on a certain occasion, a certain time will make people unhappy and temporarily affect the communication effect, but after a long time, most of the unhappy people will wake up, and they will naturally think that this kind of person is better.

Academician Jiang Xinsong, the director of the Shenyang Institute of Automation of the Chinese Academy of Sciences and the "father of Chinese robots", who dedicated himself to the cause of science in our country, is a typical example of this mental state.After his death, reporters from "People's Daily" and "China Science Daily" made such reports: As a superior, he will treat you as an equal and cooperate with you in a friendly manner.His old colleague said: "Xin Song's style is democratic and never arbitrary. When you have different opinions and disputes, you can even slap the table with him and throw hats. Outsiders can't figure out who is the leader at this time; but after the rain, he Never hold grudges against others. If you insist on your right opinion, he appreciates your persistence."

As a subordinate, he dared to tell the truth and dare to act.An 863 project needs to be adjusted, but the leading comrades are hesitant.Jiang Xinsong criticized at the meeting: "On this issue, you, Director Zhu, should be responsible." Professor Zhu Lilan, who was then the executive deputy director of the State Science and Technology Commission, still sighed very much when talking about this matter today: "Jiang Xinsong is a handsome science and technology. I also argue. I think he is very charismatic and candid. To a certain extent, he helped me make up my mind. I am very grateful to him. I think every time I talk to him is very enlightening. In the process of arguing, come to a conclusion."

As the former General Secretary of the CPC Central Committee and President of the Republic, Jiang Zemin has set a good example for the world in this regard.Although he is respectful, he has no condescending posture when interacting with others, and his words are very approachable. On December 25, 1991, when he inspected Guizhou University for Nationalities, he kindly asked a Miao female student where she was from.After the female student answered him, he kindly told the female student: "I am from Yangzhou. Have you been to Yangzhou?" The female student replied no.He smiled and said: "Ah, if you have a chance, please visit my hometown Yangzhou. March is the best month. Didn't Li Bai say, 'Fireworks go to Yangzhou in March'?"When speaking in public, we should try our best to maintain this kind of fair state of mind, and we should also strive to cultivate this kind of state of mind when speaking in peacetime, so as to achieve the best speech effect.

There are two situations of cold silence: one is in one-way communication, the listener has no interest and distracts attention; the other is in two-way communication, the listener does not respond, or only "um", "oh" and so on. The root cause of the silence is that the speaker's words are not attractive.The listener plays a "receiving" role only out of discipline or politeness.Therefore, the silence is entirely the speaker's responsibility. The appearance of a cold room is the failure of the speaker, because it cannot achieve the purpose of communicating with each other.Since the speaker wants to speak, he must implement control to avoid the occurrence of cold spots.The method of control is: The shorter the better for the occasional speech in one-way communication.For example, the opening ceremony of Huada Shopping Center was held, and people from all walks of life in the city were invited to participate.The general manager only said two words: "Ladies and gentlemen: I warmly welcome you to come! Now I announce: Huada shopping mall is officially opened!" In two-way communication, neither party should reserve the room endlessly, but consciously leave time and opportunity for the other party to speak.If you can't finish speaking in one round, you should wait for the other party's reaction before speaking, and don't speak very long in one round. When speaking in public, encountering silence can attract the audience's attention by temporarily changing the subject.After the goal is achieved, it is still necessary to return to the track of the original topic.For example, if the teacher finds that the students are distracted, looking around, dozing off, whispering, or scribbling on the table during the lecture, the teacher can suspend the lecture and intersperse a few words that are appropriate to the occasion, fashionable, and witty; or briefly tell an allusion that is more or less related to teaching , Anecdotes, the students' energy will be concentrated at once.After that, continue teaching. The topic change of two-way communication is uncertain, and it can be carried out at any time according to the situation on the spot.For example, you are talking to someone about the TV live broadcast of the World Cup football match that you watched in the early morning, but they don’t like football, and they didn’t get up to watch it in the middle of the night.At this time, you should change the subject in time. No speaker wants to be left alone.However, if this situation occurs, and you have adopted control measures such as making short speeches, changing the topic, and strengthening your tone, and still cannot reverse the cold situation, you should stop the conversation.Prolonged silence is cruel and time-wasting for both sides of the exchange.For example, after you talk about football with him and he is not interested, if you change the topic and he is still not interested, you can't continue the conversation.This is called "more than half a sentence without speculation". In addition, there is another situation that often occurs when speaking is disrupting the scene.Disturbing the scene is maliciously disrupting the order of the scene, so that the speakers are constantly interrupted or even forced to terminate.This situation occurs mainly in one-way communication.For example, in classes, reports, conference speeches, speeches, etc., the audience holds small meetings, shifts seats, enters and exits at will, makes noise, laughs, booes, whistles, and applauds blindly. There are three reasons for the disturbance: one is that the listener already has a prejudice against the speaker and is an opponent.The reason why he came to listen was to take advantage of the loopholes and make trouble. No matter what you said, he would disturb you.The second is that the speaker's ideological, academic, and business level is not high, and the listener feels that the words are meaningless, and it is a waste of time to listen.The third is that the listener is not interested in the content of the speech. As a spokesperson, you can only control the appearance of disruptors yourself.It is not the ultimate solution to the problem to rely on others who have a stake in the listener to intervene, suppress, or exit in anger.In doing so, the negative effects may be even worse.Therefore, the speaker must face up to the disruption and take the initiative to exercise control. The method of controlling the disturbance needs to distinguish between different causes. The spoiler for the first reason: firm confidence and turn a deaf ear. Lincoln ran for President of the United States for the first time, speaking at the Key Society of New York.By the time he arrived in New York, the local newspapers had published many articles attacking him.When he stepped onto the stage, before he could speak, there was a roar of ridicule from the audience.Not long after the speech started, the audience was already very chaotic, and some Republicans shouted loudly for him to get off the stage.But Lincoln was completely unmoved, and continued speaking very calmly as he had prepared in advance.Gradually, the venue became quiet. Except for Lincoln's voice, there was only the burning sound of gas lamps, and the audience was fascinated by it.The next day, newspapers published articles praising Lincoln's exceptionally successful speeches. Spoiler for the second reason: modesty and prudence, self-blame. In one year's general election in the Philippines, Mrs. Ko Aquino, the candidate, was accused of being a housewife who didn't understand anything.She took the stage to deliver a campaign speech, and many people viewed her in this light.The opposition publicly yelled that she was only worthy of being around the pot and asked her to go back to cooking.As soon as she opened her mouth, she said: "I am just a housewife, and I don't know much about politics and economics, and I have no experience." This sincere and sincere truth made the audience quiet for a while.Then she said: "Although I am a layman in politics, as a housewife who revolves around the pot, I am proficient in daily economics!" The audience immediately burst into enthusiastic cheers. A spoiler for the third reason: humorous and lively. According to the propaganda work plan of the factory, the propaganda director of a certain factory went to a branch factory to publicize current affairs policies.Some workers in the branch factory are worried about being laid off, but they dare not stop listening to them at this juncture.When the director of the branch factory talked about the current affairs policy content that the minister wanted to preach, the audience exploded, and there was a lot of noise.The minister opened his throat and shouted: "I have good news for everyone." The audience suddenly fell silent.The minister deliberately paused for a while before saying: "My wife is resigned!" The audience was stunned for a moment, and then there was a round of warm applause.Then the minister started with how his wife voluntarily asked to be laid off, and vividly described the conversations between the husband and wife and the objections of the children.After the audience's emotions were fully mobilized, they briefly talked about why they were laid off and the current situation of layoffs.Afterwards, everyone said that the minister really knew how to speak. Someone once conducted a survey to find out the reasons and inner desires of people for eloquence training, and the results of the survey were surprisingly consistent.Most people's inner desires and reasons are basically the same, and they respond like this: "When people ask me to stand up and talk, I feel very uncomfortable and scared, which prevents me from thinking clearly, concentrating, and I know what I want to say. So my biggest wish is to be able to express my views confidently and calmly in front of the public, with clear logic, rich connotations, and convincing people.” People with strong self-confidence are generally eloquent people; people who are eloquent are generally people with strong self-confidence. Self-confidence can promote the improvement of speaking ability; the improvement of speaking ability can further enhance self-confidence, and the two interact. Confidence is the driving force for improving speaking ability and the most important force for career success; speaking is the external manifestation of self-confidence and one of the most effective ways to improve self-confidence. Lincoln said: "No matter how people hate me, as long as they are willing to give me a chance to say a few words, I can persuade them." How confident is this! We might as well begin our faith training from the experience of others. Carnegie is a world-renowned master of public speaking training, and the thank-you letters he received during his lifetime can pile up.His students are from all walks of life and from all walks of life.All of these people feel a need for self-confidence and the ability to express themselves in public so that others accept their opinions.After they achieved their goal, they gratefully took the time to write to Carnegie to express their gratitude. Looking at these successful examples may allow us to realize emotionally that it is not difficult to obtain excellent public speaking skills, and their experience can allow us to "despise the enemy strategically"! There is a doctor named Peterson who is an enthusiastic baseball fan and often goes to see the players practice.Before long, he became good friends with the players and was invited to a banquet for the team. After the waiters brought coffee and sweets, several famous guests were invited to "have a few words" on stage.Suddenly, without prior notice, the host announced, "I have a medical friend here tonight, and I'd like to ask Dr. Peterson to come up and talk to us about the health of our baseball players." As a person who has practiced medicine for more than 30 years and has rich knowledge of health care, it is said that such problems are a piece of cake.He could sit in a chair and talk about it all night to the people sitting next to him.But asking him to speak about this issue in public, even to a few, is another matter.He was overwhelmed, his heart was beating fast, he had never given a speech in his life, and all the memories in his head were now flying to Java. The results of it?Everyone at the banquet was applauding, and everyone looked at him, but he shook his head to express his decline.But his doing so drew even more enthusiastic applause, asking him to speak on stage. "Dr. Peterson! Please! Please!" the voices grew louder and more determined. He was very conflicted, and he knew that if he stood up to speak he would fail, and he would not be able to complete five or six sentences.So he got up, without saying a word, turned his back on his friend, and went out in silence. He didn't want to be in the blushing and speechless situation again, and he began to practice public speaking.He has desperate needs.He hoped to have the ability to speak, and he persevered in practicing his eloquence in public speaking. Through hard practice, he has made rapid progress. At the beginning, his nervousness disappeared and his confidence became stronger and stronger.Two months later, I even began to accept invitations to give speeches in various places.He now likes the feeling of speaking, the sense of accomplishment and the honor he has received, and he is even more happy to make more friends from the speech. Once, the chairman of a company approached Carnegie.He said to Carnegie: "I am very nervous when I have to speak in my life. As the chairman, I have to preside over the meeting. The directors have been familiar with each other for many years. When everyone sits around the table, I can answer them fluently, and there is no difficulty at all. No, but when I get up to speak, I can't say a word. It's been like this for years. I don't expect your training to help, it's deeply ingrained." Carnegie said, "Since you think I can't help Why are you looking for me?" "Just for one reason," he replied, "I have a subordinate who used to be shy, always looked at the ground when he saw me, and seldom spoke, but recently every time When he entered the office, he looked radiant, full of confidence, held his head high, and greeted me proactively. He even gave a public speech for 10 minutes during a meeting. training in public speaking." Carnegie told him that by coming to class regularly and doing what the course required, within a few weeks he would enjoy speaking in front of an audience. Sure enough, the chairman came to the course and made rapid progress. Three months later, Carnegie invited him to a party of 3,000 people in the ballroom of the Astor Hotel and talked about the benefits he had gained from his training.In order to inspire more people with his own story to eliminate the fear of speaking, he turned down his appointment and spoke at the party as scheduled. Carnegie said that he could speak for two minutes. As a result, he spoke for 10 minutes to 3,000 people. many minutes. There are many similar miracles, and many people have changed their destiny because of this.Among them, many people have obtained promotions far beyond their expectations in their positions, and have reached prominent positions in business, career and society.And because of this, we can say with certainty that, at the right moment, one speech is all that is needed to get the job done.Because in such a speech, people can use the experience of others as a ladder to extract the confidence, courage and skills of public speaking. Gaining the confidence, courage, and ability to think calmly and clearly while speaking to people is not as difficult as most people think.Just as you do any other business perfectly, anyone can succeed if they are passionate about it and unleash their latent abilities. You must have a bold determination, and turn this determination into a word, a speech, and an action, and train and cultivate it with all your heart. There is a legend in the business world. In college, when he stood up for the first time to speak, he failed due to lack of words. The five-minute speech assigned by the teacher, he spoke for less than a minute, his face turned pale, and he hurried off the stage. But he endured that failure stoutly.He made up his mind to be an excellent orator, persisted for a while, and finally became the government's economic adviser, which attracted people's attention. He was Randall.When talking about public speaking, he said: "I have a full schedule of speeches. I have appeared on occasions such as lunch and dinner parties of the Manufacturers Association, as well as the Ministry of Commerce, the Rotary Club, fund-raising meetings, alumni associations, etc. I I gave a patriotic speech in Eskenaba, Michigan, and threw myself into World War I with impassioned enthusiasm; I went to the countryside with Mickey Ronnie to give a charity lecture; I went to the countryside with President Conan of Harvard University and President Hutchins of the University of Chicago Educating; I even gave an after-dinner speech in very broken French. "I think I understand what the audience wants to hear, and how they want it to be said, and the trick for a man of serious business is this: There is nothing he can't learn if he's willing to learn it. .” Randall's experience illustrates that the will to succeed can be the difference between success and failure in the endeavor to be an effective speaker.A strong will and a clear mind determine how quickly you can improve your public speaking skills.Therefore, in order to be successful, the necessary conditions are: use perseverance to smooth out the mountains, and believe that you will succeed. No one is born a natural speaker at any time or place.There are times in history when speaking in public is an exquisite art that requires careful rhetoric and elegant speech. Therefore, it is extremely difficult to be a good public speaker, and it takes a long time to learn. .Now we think of public speaking as an expanded conversation.The previous way of speaking and acting perfectly, with a thunderous voice is gone forever.What we need are concise, sincere thoughts and words that ordinary people can understand, not gorgeous rhetoric, rigorous rhetoric and generalizations. Public speaking is not a closed art, and it is not easy to learn like many schools. It takes years of beautifying the voice and painstaking rhetoric to succeed.Ordinary speaking is simple and easy to learn, as long as you follow some simple principles.For this, the experience of the master Carnegie can prove it. When he began teaching students at the Young Christians Association in New York City in 1914, he taught those junior methods much the same way he lectured college freshmen.But he soon discovered that it was a big mistake to teach grown-ups in the business world as though they were college freshmen.Because what students need is not these, but enough courage to stand up straight in front of the audience and give a clear and coherent report.So he abandoned dogma and used some simple concepts to communicate and discuss with those students until their reports were fully expressive and won the hearts of the people.This approach has been proven to allow students to learn what they need in a relaxed atmosphere. It can be seen that speaking in public is not as delicate an art as it was in ancient times, and this must be realized.In the process of training, keep a relaxed and optimistic attitude, which will lead you to experience the joy of training and eventually to success.