Chapter 3 Chapter 2 Create a perfect speaking image

If a person has a scar on his face, it can be seen in the mirror, and it can be treated with cosmetics or medicines to make up for it.Similarly, deficiencies in speech can also be changed, as long as you can clearly recognize these deficiencies in yourself before treatment.If you don’t know the flaws in your speech, you can also try to use a mirror to compare your speech posture: whether there are too many gestures, whether the corners of the mouth are raised, whether the expression is ugly, whether it is too indifferent, tense, stiff, whether the tone is suppressed... The following points are common defects in our speaking, we can check against them and make corrections.

Nasal speaking is a common and very damaging defect, which occurs when you speak through your nose.If you pinch your nose between your thumb and forefinger, the sound you make is a nasal.If you don't open your mouth enough when you speak, your voice will also come out of your nose.In movies, nasality is an acting technique, and actors tend to speak nasally if they're playing a whining, grumpy character.If you speak in a nasal voice, the nasal voice is more harmful to women than to men, and you can't meet a woman who keeps nasally and looks attractive.If you expect yourself to be extremely persuasive in front of others, or to be pleasing to the eye, you'd better not use a nasal voice but a chest voice.The correct way is to keep a distance of half an inch between the upper and lower teeth when speaking.

When a person is frightened or loses his temper, he tends to raise his voice and let out a piercing scream.Most women make this mistake, so pay more attention.Because sharp voices are more unpleasant than heavy nasal ones.You can use a mirror to check yourself for this shortcoming: Does your neck feel tense?Are the blood vessels and muscles protruding like ropes?Do the muscles around the jaw appear visibly tense?If this is the case, you may experience harsh squealing noises.At this time, you must act decisively, relax yourself as soon as possible, and lower your voice at the same time. Generally speaking, it is difficult to control the speaking speed, even for some professional speakers or politicians, sometimes it is not easy to grasp the speaking speed.Speak too fast and others will not understand what you are saying and will be out of breath.Speak too slowly and people won't listen to you at all because they lack a kind of patience.According to expert research, the appropriate speaking speed is between 120 and 160 words per minute. When we read aloud, the speed is faster than speaking.And the speed of speaking should not be fixed. Your thoughts, emotions and the content of your speech will affect the speed of your expression.Grasping moderate pauses and speed changes in speaking will add rich effects to your speech.

To measure your speaking speed, read a speech at your normal speaking speed, and then use a stopwatch to measure how long it takes you to read.If your speaking speed is less than the above standard per minute, you can try to adjust the speaking speed to see if you will get good results. In daily life, people hear such mantras, such as "that", "do you know", "is it right", "right", "um", etc.If a person uses these words repeatedly in speaking, he will definitely lose his speaking image.There are so many types of catchphrases that even some of the great politicians have this fault in TV interviews.

Of course, too many voices such as "ah" and "uh" in the conversation are also a manifestation of mantras. The famous orator Oliver?"Don't put those dreaded 'uh' sounds in your conversation," says Holmes. If you have a tape recorder, try recording yourself on the phone to see if you have it.Once you have figured out your own faults, you should always remind yourself to pay attention to this point in the process of speaking with people in the future. Here are a few ways to overcome mantras for reference. Speak silently.One of the reasons for the occurrence of mantras is that you are not familiar with the content of what you are talking about. After speaking the previous sentence, you forget the next sentence. At this time, you need to use mantras to gain a little time for thinking so that you can remember the next sentence.Speak silently several times in advance, and be very familiar with the content and diction, so that mantras can be reduced or eliminated in formal speeches.

read aloud.The method of reading aloud to overcome the mantra is to change your spoken language from unclear to clear and fluent.If the internal language is fluent, no mantra will emerge.Reading aloud the works of language masters such as Lao She and Ye Shengtao will help you use standardized language to improve your own non-standard language. listen.The language of broadcasters and actors is generally more standardized, without catchphrases.When listening to the radio or watching movies, you can listen and talk softly.Over time, you will be pleasantly surprised to find that your oral English has become more refined, with fewer mantras, and even your Mandarin level has improved.

practise.Listen to the recording of your own speech, and you will hate the mantra in your speech.In this way, you can often make yourself very vigilant when speaking, and the number of mantras will decrease accordingly. slow talk.For a period of time, try to speak as slowly as possible, develop the habit of thinking and speaking in a calm and unhurried manner, and think and say every sentence, which has a very good effect on overcoming mantras. Swearing is a speaking vice.As the saying goes, habit becomes nature.Anything, as long as it becomes a habit, will happen naturally.The same is true for swearing. Once a person develops the habit of swearing, he often speaks indecently without realizing it.Speaking foul language is a bad habit and an extremely uncivilized expression, but it is not an easy task to overcome this habit.A more effective way is to find out the swear words that occur most frequently, and concentrate on getting rid of it first.The first is to change the frequency of speaking and pause at the end of each sentence; secondly, remind yourself before speaking to change the original conditioned reflex.Once the swear words with the highest frequency are changed, it is not difficult to overcome other swear words.

Asking others to push you is also important.Of course, the "others" here should preferably be people who understand themselves, so that the supervision can be straightforward.Because sometimes I don't know when I speak foul language, asking others to supervise can serve as a reminder and check.Supervision has another psychological meaning, which is to create an external environment that is not conducive to the natural occurrence of the original conditioned reflex, so as to promote the termination of old habits. "Stuttering" is a general term for stuttering. "Stuttering" is a habitual language defect and a morbid reaction for very few people. They are also called stutterers.Stuttering is a phenomenon in which words are repeated or sentences are interrupted when speaking. In order to cure the problem of "stuttering" in speaking, in addition to drug treatment, it is more important to remove psychological barriers.Former Japanese Prime Minister Kakuei Tanaka suffered from stuttering in his youth. In order to overcome this defect, he often recited texts and corrected his mouth shape in front of the mirror in order to pronounce accurately. Later, he became a famous politician and orator.People who stutter might as well try this method and insist on reading the article aloud. As long as they persevere and maintain a good attitude, I believe it will produce good results.

Scruffy hands and feet, which means that the movements are too frequent when speaking.You can check yourself to see if the following actions are constantly occurring when speaking: fidgeting, frowning, raising eyebrows, crooked mouth, pulling ears, touching chin, scratching scalp, turning pencil, pulling tie, fingering, shaking legs, etc.These are some bad factors that affect your speaking effect.When you speak and move too frequently, the listener will be attracted by your movements, and it is impossible to listen to you seriously. Cultivate your own speaking style and make it unique, which will have an unexpected effect on your speech.

Only when a person has his own style of speaking can he attract others easily and produce the charm he deserves.Likewise, if you want to be a good talker, there has to be something unique about your speaking style that will catch people's attention or make it easy for people to remember you.You can use your appearance, or something special about your body, to attract attention, but this is only temporary, and it is not enough. It can only help you attract people's attention, but it cannot really attract people.Unless you have the charisma of a great man, you must develop your own style of speaking, which is the best way to make you convincing and memorable.

The Keokook Hotel in Signy, Iowa, USA is the favorite place for traveling salesmen with a radius of tens of miles, and they want to stay there no matter how far or near they are.why?Because the owner of the store there, known as "Happy Weller," is a man who laughs a lot.He can say a few nice words to anyone, and since people have known him for so many years, he has never heard him say a bad word to anyone.Weller has his own unique place, speaking has his own unique style.Later he succeeded and became a well-known local rich man. Remember that your talking style, the way you talk to others, can contribute significantly to your reputation and your success.If you speak arrogantly or even contemptuously to your subordinates, the subordinates will resent you.If you speak too condescendingly to your superiors, they may perceive you as incompetent or spineless and afraid to entrust you with important responsibilities.Your speaking style is not only a matter of your use of vocabulary, but also a matter of the way you use words, which can also reflect your attitude and self-cultivation.Therefore, if you want to establish your own speech style, you can't change your speech from left to right, let alone try to imitate others, showing things that don't belong to your own style or don't suit your own style.While it's good to learn from others, don't deliberately try to imitate their style or tone of voice.This kind of reasoning is very simple, and everyone will understand without much explanation, and no one wants to meet a pretentious talker.Imitate other people's speech, just like the kind of person who has drunk a lot of alcohol, he can't hide the fact that he has drunk alcohol, because people will understand as soon as they smell it, "he regards himself as someone else". When it comes to talking, it's best to bring out your natural style, but try to develop your own unique style, not someone else's.Some people, when they talk to other people, think they have to put on airs, or put on a mask; some try to be nice, sometimes even obsequious; .The mistake of these people is that they are not showing their true colors, so naturally they cannot be convinced by others.Have your own personality, what you see me is what I am, whether you like it or not, but you will always believe that the person you are talking to is real and not a fake.No matter right or wrong, treat everyone with sincerity.Therefore, as long as you grasp the propriety and principles of speaking, you will always be liked by others, and gradually form your own speaking style, because you communicate with others with your sincere self, and you use your own style to communicate with others. An "impression" is a sign that certain characteristics of a person leave in the minds of others.The "first impression" is the image characteristic left to the other party when first contacting with people, which is called "primacy effect" in psychology.The famous speaker Tan Er?"Recently, I was at a party in New York, and there was a girl in the middle who had received a huge inheritance not long ago, so she spent a lot of money adorning herself from head to toe," said Jannegie. Gorgeous. Why would she do it? No doubt she wanted to impress all the guests at the party. But, unfortunately, her clothes were rich enough, but her face , very deep, seems to have a domineering arrogance, no matter how people look at it, they will not produce happy feelings. She only knows how to work hard on her clothes, but forgets that the most important thing is the face expression." Indeed, everyone welcomes a person with a smiling face, but if he always has a sad face, no matter how rich the clothes are, it will be annoying.This situation is not limited to women, it is the same for all men, women, old and young.There are two children, one is innocent and very happy, the other is frowning and always looks mournful, may I ask which child do you like? The setting effect produced by the first impression in interpersonal communication is very stable. The first impression a person leaves on others is like a deep imprint, which is difficult to change. A good first impression is a good start for successful communication and the establishment of harmonious interpersonal relationships.Therefore, in the process of communicating with people for the first time, we must pay attention to giving people a good first impression.how should I do it? First of all, treat people with courtesy, be proactive and enthusiastic.Treating people politely requires courteous language. Using daily polite expressions such as "please", "thank you", and "sorry" is not only respect for others but also respect for yourself.In addition, you must behave decently, sitting with a sitting posture, standing with a standing posture, not coy, and not casual and presumptuous.Active enthusiasm requires the expression of liking, admiration, and attention to others in interactions.At the same time, good hygiene habits, quick-wittedness and diligence can also leave a deep impression on people. Second, actively seek common ground and shorten the distance.There is an important principle in interpersonal communication: the principle of similarity.As long as the two parties have similarities in interests, hobbies, viewpoints, aspirations, and even age, hometown, clothing, etc., the distance between them can often be shortened and the strangeness eliminated.As the saying goes: whether you are close or not, you are from your hometown; whether you are beautiful or not, your hometown is water.When a foreign country meets a fellow countryman, they talk about their hometown.Actively seek similar common ground for the first time, which will leave a good first impression on people. Finally, get to know each other and remember the characteristics.Before communicating with someone for the first time, if possible, try to understand the other person's situation as the basis for acquaintance and conversation.For example, if you know that the other party likes to grow flowers, then you can tell some anecdotes about growing flowers during the conversation, and the other party must be interested in your conversation. Speaking can not only show a person's inner image, but also reflect a person's inner cultivation. Those who stutter and speak without any sense of rhythm can seldom move us, and such people can hardly say anything worthy of our attention.Only those who know the rhythm of speaking and have clear thinking can have active thinking. The highest state of mastering the rhythm is to speak naturally and fluently. Of course, appropriate pauses are not disfluency, because we often use pauses to develop new ideas, or to transition from one point to another, or to repeat a word in order to leave a deeper impression on the audience. The number of stumbles can be counted, and it's a fun way to get through listening to those annoying speeches.Stumbles on mostly tasteless speech.In your own speech, it is of great practical value to ask others to count the number of times you have stumbled. Few people can speak impromptu without stumbling.We found a maximum of 30 per minute, and many professors had as many as 20. So, how do you improve your speaking fluency? First, you should be familiar with the subject of your speech.When there is no hesitation in our thinking, what we want to say automatically comes to our lips.Good preparation increases fluency because it increases your self-confidence, which in turn makes you more convinced of what you have to say.In addition, familiarity with the subject will make the speaker more passionate, and this passion will make the speaker's whole body and mind into the realm of his speech.In this way, fluency will not be a problem. Second, the pronunciation should be accurate.Slurred pronunciation is a sign of hesitation in speaking.If the speaker hesitates several times in a row, it will make people feel that he does not really know what he is talking about, but is trying to find out what is wrong in his head, and the result is more fluent.So, if we make some conscious effort toward fluency, we'll get good results; but if we work on other aspects of speaking, thinking that fluency will come naturally in time, we'll be disappointed. Again, be enthusiastic.We noticed that when people were excited, their voices became higher and faster, and the speech seemed to be more fluent at this time.So, when speaking, contagiously contagious with your enthusiasm and speak loudly.You have to speak especially loudly if your emotions have been disturbed, if you stand trembling with fear in front of an audience. Finally, speaking quickly can also improve fluency.Your mind functions faster when you speak quickly, just like reading, if you can concentrate on reading quickly, you can read two books in the time you spend reading one. book and gain a better understanding. Grasp the rhythm of speaking so that the speech is as tense as the strings and flows slowly like flowing water.In this regard, we should actively learn. "Press the flute to the eye, and the drum to the dot." In terms of the idea, the other party will naturally accept it. The ancients said: If the mountain is not high, it will be famous if there are immortals; if the water is not deep, there will be dragons.The same is true for talking, not too much, just click.In a modern society where the pace of life is tense and fast, no one is willing to spend a lot of time listening to your long speeches.This requires you to be concise and to the point when you talk. George is a California tycoon with assets of more than $1 billion.One year, he and his business partner David flew from California to a big city in China, planning to invest in building a factory and looking for partners. Three days later, George sat at the negotiating table with the leader of a large enterprise in our country.This leader is smart and capable, and understands the market conditions, which George admires quite a lot.After listening to the leader's grand vision for the joint venture, George felt as if he had seen the bright future of the joint venture. When he was about to sign the contract, he suddenly heard the leader talking proudly: "Our company has more than 2,000 employees, and last year it generated a total of more than 7 million yuan in profits and taxes. The strength is absolutely strong..." Hearing this, George secretly counted: 7 million yuan converted into US dollars is more than 900,000 yuan, and more than 2,000 people earn such a little money a year?Moreover, the leader is actually very proud and satisfied.This disappointed George very much, and the distance from his predetermined profit target was too great.If this leader is allowed to operate, it will be difficult to have higher economic benefits and benefits.So it was decided to terminate the cooperation negotiations immediately. Just imagine, if the leader hadn't said the last smug words, the negotiation might have ended in another ending.What the leader said at the end was extravagant, which not only exposed his own weakness, but also made foreign businessmen lose confidence in cooperation, and finally withdrew their investment intentions. We often see in life that some people are used to chattering and eloquent, but their words are incoherent and incoherent, which is annoying to listen to; There is no sense of proportion.This can easily lead to superfluous consequences.Therefore, we "should let the tongue turn ten circles in the mouth before speaking"."Turn away" the redundant nonsense, prepare some simple and clear words, and speak to the point as soon as you open your mouth, and don't ramble and don't know what to say. There is an old saying that "sincerity is enough to touch people". If a person speaks something to the point, how can he not be welcomed by the audience? The miners of the Colorado Coal and Iron Company went on strike in order to demand better treatment. Because of the company's mishandling, the strike turned into a bloody tragedy, and both labor and management went to extremes.The strike, which lasted for two years, became a famous strike in the history of American industry.The person in charge of the mine at that time was the son of Rockefeller, the American oil magnate.The young Rockefeller initially used high-handed tactics and invited the army to suppress the strike, causing a bloody tragedy. Not only did the problem not be resolved, but the strike was prolonged and his property suffered even greater losses.Later, he changed his method and used a gentle method, temporarily putting aside the matter of the strike, and went to make friends with the workers, and went to the homes of various workers to condolences, so that the feelings of the two parties gradually improved.Later, he asked the workers to organize a delegation to negotiate a settlement with the management.He saw that the workers had lost some of their hostility towards him, and he made a very pertinent speech to the representatives of the strike movement.This speech completely solved the strike trend of the past two years. He said in that speech: "In my lifetime, today is probably the most memorable day. I am very honored, because I can meet you. If our meeting today was two weeks ago, then I Standing here would be a stranger, because I know only a very small number of your faces. I had the opportunity to go to the tents in the South Coal District to see it, and I had a private individual with all the representatives. Talk; I have seen your families, met your wives and children, everyone is very polite to me, and completely treats me as one of my own. So, today we meet here, we are no longer strangers They are friends. Now, let us discuss our interests together in mutual friendship. This is very pleasant. The representatives of the employees and workers of the factory are present at this meeting. Thanks to your great love, I can meet you here and work hard to resolve all conflicts and become good friends with each other. I will never forget this great friendship in my life. The career and future of all of us have expanded infinitely since then. Bright. Personally, although I am representing the board of directors of the company today, I am not in an opposing position with you. I think we all have a close relationship and friendship. Our life issues related to each other, Now I would like to propose to discuss it with you, let us make a long-term plan together to obtain a satisfactory solution that both parties can take into account, because this is something that is beneficial to everyone..." Although the speech of Rockefeller Jr. was not gorgeous, his words were pertinent, which aroused widespread resonance among the miners, and he immediately got himself out of the predicament. In addition to being pertinent, speaking must also be meaningful. The two complement each other to achieve the desired effect. "Book of Changes. Family": "A gentleman has substance in his words, but he has perseverance in his actions." People will encounter such situations in their daily lives, whether they are listening to others giving lectures, leaders giving reports, or chatting with people around them. When it comes to saying nothing, empty and boring, the above speaking is very lively, but the audience below feel sleepy and boring, thinking that the content is false and empty, illusory and incomprehensible.The speech that the audience dreads most is the one that says nothing. Why is there a situation where there is nothing to say?At its root, the problem is that the talker, the speaker, doesn't understand the content of his speech well.I don't understand why I have to speak, how can I expect to give the audience a speech with substantial content and something to say?It is actually not difficult to solve this problem. To put it simply, it is necessary to fully and meticulously prepare the content of your speech, and understand the problem thoroughly before giving a speech. One day a shambling old widow, wife of a fallen soldier, came to Lincoln's law office.She wept to Lincoln, saying that she was supposed to receive a pension of 400 yuan, but a pension official demanded 200 yuan in handling fees.Lincoln was furious when he heard this, and immediately filed a lawsuit against the official in court for her. During the court session, Lincoln looked at the defendant with angry eyes. Almost every word he said was very pertinent and meaningful. The solemn attitude and warm emotion almost made him jump up and peel off the words. The skin of a defendant: "Time has been moving forward. The heroes in 1776 have passed away. They were placed in another world. However, the hero has been buried in the ground, his old age and decay. Lame widow, come to us now, begging for her justice. In the past, she was also a beautiful girl with a light body and a graceful voice. We who have arrived free ask for sympathetic help and humane protection. All I ask now is, should we aid her?" When Lincoln finished speaking such a pertinent sentence, some people shed tears with emotion. Everyone agreed that the old woman's pension should not be less.In the end the court recovered the pension of the soldier's widow, and gave the official a serious trial.