Chapter 29 don't worry

From a very young age, I lived on a farm in Missouri.One day, I was helping my mother pick cherries and burst into tears.My mother asked me, "Why are you crying?" I choked up and replied, "I was worried that I would be buried alive." At that time, my heart was always full of all kinds of worries: when life was difficult, I was worried that there would not be enough food to eat; I was afraid that a big boy named James White would cut off my two big ears, as he threatened to do.I am still worried because I am afraid that girls will make fun of me when I take off my hat and bow to them; I am worried because I am worried that no girl will marry me in the future; I worry about what to say; in my imagination we'll be married in a country church, and we'll go back to the farm in a carriage with tassels on it...but on the way back to the farm, what should I say to keep What about talking to her non-stop?How to do this?How to do it?Even when I was plowing, I would often spend hours thinking about these worrying "big questions."

Little by little time passed, and I gradually realized that 99% of the things I was worried about never happened.For example, as I just said, I used to be very afraid of thunder and lightning.But now I know that no matter what year it is, the probability of me being struck by lightning is only about one in 350,000; my fear of being buried alive is even more absurd.It did not occur to me that, even in the days before mummification, only one in ten million people could be buried alive, but I have cried before in fear of it.Cancer kills 1 in 8 people, and if I had to let myself worry about something, I should worry about getting cancer instead of being buried alive or being struck by lightning.

In fact, all the above are things that worried me in my childhood and youth.But the worries of many grown-ups are almost as ludicrous.If we want our worry to stop, we can assess whether our worry is worth it based on the average probability of things happening, which should save us 99% of worry. Lloyd's of London is famous all over the world for making untold fortunes out of people's worries about things that are unlikely to happen.Lloyd's is, so to speak, betting the average person that the disasters they've been dreading will almost never happen.They don't call it gambling, though, they call it "insurance," which is actually a gamble based on average probabilities.The great insurance company has had a good track record for two hundred years, and it will last at least another five thousand years, unless man can bring about a change in his nature.And it just insures your shoes and boat for you, using the average probability to assure you that those disasters are not as frequent and terrible as you imagined.

If we examine the average probability of something happening, we will be amazed at what we find.For example, I would be horrified to know that within five years I would have to fight in a battle as bloody as Gettysburg.I will definitely do everything I can to increase my life insurance, write a will, and sell all my possessions.I'd say, "I probably won't make it through this war, so I'd better live the remaining years like this." But is that true?According to average probability, the number of deaths per 1,000 people between the ages of 50 and 55 is the same as that of 1,000 people who died at the Battle of Gettysburg.

One summer I met the Herbert Salingees on the shores of Lake Ligon in the Canadian Rockies.Mrs. Sullinger was a self-possessed, calm woman who never struck me as troubled.One evening, as we sat chatting in front of a roaring fire, I asked her if she had ever been plagued by worry. bothered?My previous life was nearly ruined by worry.I lived 11 years of self-inflicted misery before I learned to conquer worry.At that time, I was very bad-tempered and irritable, living in my own tense mood all day long.I take the bus from home to San Francisco every week to do the shopping, but even when I do, I worry like hell: Maybe my maid has run away and left the kids behind; Putting it on an ironing board caused a fire and set the house on fire; maybe the kids were out on their bikes and got hit by a car and died.When I was shopping, I would often break out in a cold sweat of worry, rush out of the store, and catch the bus home to see if everything was okay.So my first marriage failed.

After remarriage, my husband is a lawyer.He is a very calm person who can analyze everything carefully and never worries about anything.Whenever I was nervous or anxious, he would say to me, "Don't panic, let's think about it - what are you worried about? Let's look at the average probability, this kind of thing can happen Happening?" As an example, I remember one time when we were in New Mexico.We were driving from Abu Kuki to Kasbah Caves on a dirt road when a terrible storm happened halfway.The road was slippery and the car was out of control at all.I thought we were bound to slide into a ditch on the side of the road, but my husband kept being by my side saying, "I'm driving very slowly now, nothing will happen. Even if the car does slide into a ditch, according to the average probability, we won’t get hurt.” Affected by his composure and confidence, I finally calmed down.

One summer, our family went camping in the Tokon Valley in the Canadian Rocky Mountains.Our tent was pitched at a high altitude that night, when a terrible storm came on, and it seemed that our tent would be torn to shreds.The tent was tied with ropes to a wooden platform, and the tent shook in the wind, making screeching noises.I think all the time: Our tent will be blown down by the wind, and it will be blown into the sky by the wind.At the time, I was really terrified, but my husband kept saying, "Honey, we have several Indian guides who know everything about this. They've been camping in these mountains for 60 years, and this camp is in It has been here for many years, and it has not been blown down until now. According to the average probability, it will not be blown up tonight. And even if it is blown down, we can go to another camp, so, You don't have to be nervous or worry at all."... I relaxed and fell asleep peacefully in the middle of the night.

There was a time when polio was ravaging our part of California.In the past, I would have been overwhelmed, but my husband kept me calm and we tried to use all the precautions we could, keeping the children out of public places, school and movies for a while.After contacting the Department of Health, we were told that even the worst polio epidemic ever seen in California had so far infected only 1,835 children in the entire state of California.The average probability is only between 200 and 300 people.Although these numbers still sound scary, they make us feel that, based on the average probability, the probability of a certain child being infected is very small.

"According to the average probability, this kind of thing will not happen" is such a simple sentence, it has eliminated 90% of my worries and made my life for the past 20 years beautiful and peaceful. So, to break the habit of worrying before it destroys you, you must follow Step Five: Let's think back to our previous experiences, let's ask ourselves based on the average rate, what is the chance that what we fear will happen now, what is the chance that it might happen?