Chapter 23 don't be a nuisance

In our daily life, many people are constantly making others boring and annoying.This kind of behavior is not a crime, nor is it wrong, but it will cause harm to those around you.And we live in a world that doesn't insulate these boring people or things from haunting us all the time.Modern medicine is very advanced and can treat many diseases, but it seems that there is still no known medicine that can treat the disease of "boring". If prevention is the best cure for a disease that is "boring," we must first diagnose its cause before we can treat it.Now let's analyze the conditions or ways in which this "boring person or thing" is produced.

The following are the most annoying situations, and if we knew beforehand whether they happened to us and avoided them in the future, wouldn't we be a popular person? The famous writer Mark Twain wrote an article in which he imitated how a nagging person would describe a thing without bounds, but never talked about the main points.The story goes like this: Ah, did I tell you about my visit to the Harpy Indian village out west?We're leaving on Friday morning... oh no, it should be Thursday.I told you we had to go on Thursday because I had a dentist appointment on Wednesday.My top tooth is a little loose and I have to get it fixed by my dentist.The dentist was really chatty, talking on and on.Fortunately, he also knows how to do business.I have mentioned him to my supervisor.As for my boss, he's such an oddball that he always depends on me for everything because he's always absent-minded.One day I said to Ella, "Ella, what do you think my boss will do if I quit one day?" Ella replied, "If you quit, I'll go home and find Mommy." Isn't that childish?

As a result, you never knew what was going on with that harpy Indian village! Such typical people are of course a minority compared to talkative people, but they are also very worth mentioning. When you rack your brains to find a congenial topic to use as a conversation material, you find that you are playing the piano with the cow.You try and try to get him to say something, but all you see is a dead face or a few monotonous "ohs."If you are lucky, you may be able to hear a more specific question - "Is it?" as a prize for your "one-man show". This kind of person does not seem to have a little emotional psychology.Trying to extract any intelligent or polite response from him is as difficult as going to an alien planet to issue shares.They will not be interested in you or your topic, but will always maintain that kind of potato-like silence, and will never be influenced by any outside world.

"How is your child?" As the most common greeting, it will arouse people's disgust the most. These types of greetings are usually of little value, but as soon as the conversation starts, you're left to sit there and let the chatter overwhelm you.These conversations usually go something like this: You know, Mike hasn't had a good breakfast these days.Just yesterday, he turned the whole bowl of cereal upside down and put it on his head.You see, it's really naughty!So, I called the pediatrician.The doctor asked me if I would try adding bananas to my oatmeal.But the strange thing is that Mike has never liked eating bananas.Of course, he grew up faster than other children of his age, and it is strange that there is no child in our neighborhood who is as expressive as he is!By the way, the other day, he pulled the doily off the table, looked at me with those beautiful black eyes, and said, "McLara." Me and his dad almost died laughing.

Like this endless way of speaking, I believe you will also collapse when you hear this. What is helpless and hateful is that this kind of person can easily lead various topics to the direction he wants to talk about, no matter how irrelevant the matter is, he can immediately "get back to business".It is very difficult for you to change the subject, because they only like to talk about their precious children. In fact, these are the manifestations of immature people, because they don't understand the first rule of making friends-to think about others. When talking to this type of person, any topic bounces back into your face like a pelota ball.

This type of person seems to know the outcome of everything, and can effectively end any discussion with a few words, leaving no room for others to speak a second time.If you disagree with him, he will stand up and retort you unceremoniously: "My God, are you crazy? Don't you know that this has been proven, that is..." This kind of lack of interest and rationality is actually a sign of immaturity.The trouble is, they'll always tell you something flat-out, reckless, and not particularly interesting to you. And for this kind of person, there is only one way to deal with it: no matter what he says, you have to nod in agreement.Otherwise, a war of attrition begins that will wear you down.Talking with this kind of person, you can hardly expect to discuss or exchange views with each other, because he only pays attention to how to express his opinion clearly, and has the inviolable authority like the law.

This type of person is very pessimistic about everything.In their eyes, the world is like hell.They have little hope in life, they think it is full of fools, liars, and all kinds of vicious people, and they even think the weather is getting worse. If you're in a conversation with this kind of person, let's say, within 10 minutes, you're likely to pick up the low-key and become morose without knowing it.For this atmosphere has as much a bad influence as bad weather, and no matter how good your own mood may be, it will be very difficult to escape the entanglement of the storm as soon as the weather changes.

The most frustrating thing about the annoying people we've discussed above is that they don't know what they're talking about.As we said, no one tries to be annoying on purpose.These people, they think of themselves as clever socializers, a source of vitality for various gatherings, and people who provide intelligence or valuable information.Maybe you and I are exactly this type of person, we just haven't realized it yet. It is gratifying that there are still traces of this kind of situation. As long as we pay attention to it and be alert at all times, we should be able to restore our audience in time.

For example, during our presentation, some audience members may smile or look unnaturally.If we find the audience fidgeting and restless when we are talking about how cute our children are, then we need to know how to stop the topic quickly, or let the other party have a chance to talk about their family too. child. Another detail worthy of attention is that the other party began to secretly look at the watch.If they start to shake the watch vigorously, or bring the watch to the ear, the meaning is more obvious. If you don't stop talking immediately at that time, you should know that the other party has started to mutter inwardly, even started to curse.For those who speak in public, they should always pay attention to this "barometer" of the face.

In addition, there is another warning that cannot be ignored, that is, the erratic eyes, which is a symbol of the other party's disinterest in the topic at hand. At this time, you may ask: What is the relationship between the above-mentioned problems and the maturity of the mind? We can take this as an answer: boring speech can reveal a lack of intellect, imagination, and human sensitivity in the speaker, all of which are essential to a healthy personality capable of responding normally to others . People with dull speech cannot make others understand and satisfy their basic needs, so it is difficult to understand and meet the needs of others in the process of communicating with others.In order to make up for the inner emptiness, this kind of person will focus on some trivial matters, and will pay too much attention to these trivial matters.

Arguably, his spirit is as uninteresting as the way he communicates.Boredom of speech is a symptom of a personality disorder, and a phenomenon in which the personality is no longer growing. If a person is spiritually mature, or if his mind continues to grow, he can discuss anything without being annoying.Because everything that he handles becomes meaningful.The same thing, which is not interesting for a person with dull speech, but a mature person can make it lively and full of vitality. So, if you want to mature yourself, the eighth principle is: Don't be a nuisance.