Chapter 15 learn to criticize yourself

What would you do if someone called you "an idiot"?Do you feel insulted?Are you angry?Let's see how Lincoln did it: On one occasion, Lincoln's secretary of defense, Edward Stanton, called Lincoln "a fool." The reason Stanton was so annoyed was that Lincoln had interfered with his work—in order to please a selfish politician, Lincoln had issued an order to mobilize troops.Not only did Stanton refuse to follow Lincoln's orders, but he cursed Lincoln for being stupid for issuing such orders.What was the result?After hearing Stanton's words, Lincoln said calmly: "If Stanton says I'm a fool, then I must be, because he almost never misses it. I must see for myself."

Lincoln did go to Stanton, and Stanton made him understand his mistake in issuing the order, and Lincoln backed down.Lincoln readily accepted criticism that was sincere, grounded in knowledge, and constructive. In my personal filing cabinet, there is a file that says "Stupid Things I've Done."I keep a record of all the stupid things I've ever done, in this folder.Sometimes I dictate to my secretary, but some questions are sometimes too personal, or too stupid, so I am too embarrassed to dictate, so I have to write them down myself. I still remember some of the things I put in this folder 15 years ago, and if I had been absolutely honest with myself, I would have burst my filing cabinet with the stupid things I did.I can illustrate the situation I faced with the words of King Solo 1,300 years ago: "I have done stupid things, and I have done a lot of stupid things."

It's safe to say that whenever I pull out the "Stupid Things I've Done" file and reread my criticisms of myself, they help me with one of the most difficult problems I've ever faced, which is how to control myself. I used to blame other people for my troubles, but as I got older, I found that all my misfortunes had nothing to do with others, and I should blame myself.Many people find this out as they get older.When Napoleon was exiled, he said: "There is no one else but myself. No one but I should be responsible for my failure. I am my own worst enemy and the source of my unfortunate fate."

Let me tell you a story here, it's about HP Howard. HP Howard is a leader in the financial field in the United States-the chairman of the American Commercial Bank and Trust Investment Company, and also a director of several large companies.He received little formal education as a child, working as a clerk in a small country store and later as a loan manager for the U.S. Steel Corporation.His position is getting higher and higher, and his power is getting bigger and bigger.When explaining his success, he said: "For years, I have been writing down all the appointments of the day in a notepad, and my family has never arranged anything for me on Sunday night, because they all know that I have every appointment. Every Sunday night I spend some time introspecting, revisiting and reviewing the work I have done all week. After dinner, I shut myself up in my room, open my notebook, and reflect on all the meetings, discussions, and I ask myself: 'What did I do right? How can I improve?' 'What mistake did I make that time?' 'What can I learn from it?' Sometimes I find this weekly One review made me very unhappy, and I was even surprised by the mistakes I made. Of course, as time goes by, these mistakes will gradually decrease. I think this is the most meaningful thing I have ever done of."

Franklin is different from Howard, he will not wait until Sunday night, he will review the events of the day every night.He found himself making 13 serious mistakes.The wise Franklin realized that unless he could reduce these mistakes, he would not be able to achieve much.Therefore, every week he will pick out a shortcoming to correct, and then make a record of each day's situation.By next week, he'll pick out another bad bug, and when he's ready, he'll have another "battle."Franklin's struggle lasted for more than two years. It's no wonder that he will become the most beloved and influential person in the history of the United States!

Rochefonka said: "The opinions of our enemies are closer to reality than our own opinions." We all know that this sentence is true, but whenever someone starts to criticize us, as long as we don't pay attention, I will immediately Justify yourself instinctively.Whenever we do, we regret it very much afterwards.Each of us does not like to be criticized, but wants to hear praise from others, regardless of whether such criticism and praise are fair or not.We are not logical beings but emotional beings, and our logic is like a canoe floating in an unfathomable ocean of emotion. I knew a guy who used to sell soap, and he used to have people criticize him.When he first started selling soap for the Koggy Company, orders were so few that he feared losing his job.He knew there was nothing wrong with his soap and the price, so he figured the problem must be himself.So every time he didn't close a deal, he took a walk down the street, hoping to figure out what the problem was.Sometimes he will go back to the customer and say: "I am not here to sell you soap, I hope to get your advice and your criticism. Can you tell me, when I sold you soap a few minutes ago , Is there anything wrong? You have more experience and success than me, please criticize me, please tell me frankly and without concealment.”

This sincere attitude won him many friends and many valuable advices.Now he has become the chairman of CPP Soap Company, the largest soap company in the world. His name is EH Little. Charles Luckman is the president of Pesoden, which sponsors $1 million a year for the Bob Hooper Show.He never read the letters praising the show, but the ones criticizing it.He knew he could learn a lot from these letters. Ford also wanted to find out what shortcomings it had in management and business.So the company conducted an opinion survey on all employees and invited them to criticize the company. Only very great people can do what Franklin, HP Howard did.Now, since no one is looking at you, why don't you look in the mirror and ask yourself what kind of person you really are?It is impossible for everyone to achieve perfection, but in order to obtain more peace and happiness, we must:

Write down the stupid things you have done, and be brave enough to criticize yourself.