Chapter 38 Section 4 Putting Criticism Behind

Once I went to visit Major General Smidri Butler, who was nicknamed "Old Awl Eye" and "Old Hell Demon".remember him?He was the most colorful and ostentatious general who ever commanded the United States Marine Corps. He told me that when he was young he tried desperately to be the most popular, to impress everyone.In those days, the slightest criticism made him feel very sad.But he admits that his 30 years in the Marine Corps have toughened him up. "I've been scolded and humiliated," he said. "Called me a yellow dog, a viper, and a skunk. Does it make me feel bad that I've been scolded by experts? Ha! If I listen now When someone says something behind me, I don’t even turn my head to see who is saying it.”

Most of us take the little things too seriously.I still remember a reporter from the New York Sun, many years ago, who attended a demonstration session of my adult education class and attacked me and my work at the meeting.I was so pissed off and thought it was a personal insult from him.I called up Weir Hodges, Chairman of the Executive Committee of The Sun, and specifically asked him to publish an article stating the truth, instead of mocking me like this.I was determined at that time that the criminals should be properly punished. Now I feel very ashamed of what I did then.I now understand that about half of the people who bought the newspaper would not have read the article; Half of the people forget the whole thing after a few weeks.

I understand now that most people don't think about you or me at all, or care about what other people say about us, they only think about themselves.They care a thousand times more about their little problems than big news that could kill you or me. Even if you and I have been gossiped about, made a laughingstock, lied to, stabbed in the back, or betrayed by one of our closest friends, never let yourself be pity. I discovered many years ago that while I can't stop others from criticizing me unfairly, I can do something even more important: I can decide whether or not I want to be disturbed by those unfair criticisms.

Let me make this clearer: I am not in favor of ignoring all criticism altogether, on the contrary, what I am saying is simply ignoring unjust criticism.I once asked Elaine Roosevelt how she dealt with unjust criticism, and goodness knows, she got a lot of it.She has had more ardent friends and fierce enemies than probably any woman who has ever lived in the White House. She told me that she was very shy when she was a child, and she was very afraid of what others would say about her.She was so afraid of criticism that she had to ask her aunt, the elder Roosevelt's sister, for help. She said, "Aunt, I want to do such a thing, but I'm afraid I will be criticized."

Old Roosevelt's sister looked at her squarely and said: "Don't care what others say, as long as you know in your heart that you are right." Elena Roosevelt told me that when she lived in the White House many years later, this little one Her advice has always been her principle of action.The only way to avoid all criticism, she told me, was to "just do what you know is right—you're going to get criticized anyway". In a speech to Princeton students, Charles Schwieber said that the most important lesson he had learned was taught to him by an old German who worked in his steel mill.The old German man had a dispute with some other people about the war and was thrown into the river by those people.

"When he came to my office," said Mr Schwiber, "he was covered in mud and water. I asked him what he would say to those who threw him in the river? He replied 'I just laughed it off' .” Mr. Schweiber said that in the end he took the old German man's words as his motto - just smiled.This motto works especially well when you are the victim of unjust criticism.When someone scolds you, you can scold him back, but what can you say to someone who laughs back? If Lincoln hadn't learned to ignore those who condemned him, he might have collapsed under the pressure of the Civil War.What he wrote about how to deal with other people's criticism of himself has become a classic in the literary sense.During World War II, General MacArthur copied these words and hung them on the wall of his desk at headquarters, while British Prime Minister Winston Churchill had them framed and hung on the wall of his study.The passage reads: "If I'm just trying to read—let alone answer—all the attacks on me, this store might as well close up and do something else. I'm doing the best I know I did it the best I could, and I plan to keep getting things done that way. If it turns out I'm wrong, it's no use trying ten times as hard to say I'm right."