Chapter 28 Section 3 Forgive or Forget Your Enemy

The most effective way to truly forgive and forget our enemies is to appeal to a Power greater than ourselves.If we could forget everything, insults would be of little consequence. Never take vengeance on your enemies, you will do yourself more harm than others. One evening a few years ago, I was visiting Yellowstone and sat on the patio with other tourists.Facing the dense forest, we look forward to seeing the emergence of the forest killer grizzly.It went to the garbage thrown by the forest hotel to rummage for food.Mounted forest rangers tell us that grizzlies are virtually invincible in the American West, with the possible exceptions of bison and Alaskan bears.But I found one animal, and only one, that followed the grizzly out of the woods, and the grizzly tolerated it for a share, and it was a very smelly weasel.Of course the grizzly knew it could be destroyed with a single paw, so why didn't he do it?Because experience tells it it's not worth it.

I also found this out.I grew up on a farm and once caught a skunk by the fence.When I arrived in New York, I also encountered a few two-legged skunks on the street. My painful experience taught me that no matter what kind of skunk it is, it is not worth it. When we harbor hatred for an enemy, we are doing more than the other person to overwhelm us, giving him the opportunity to control our sleep, appetite, blood pressure, health, and even our mood.How happy our enemy would be if he knew how much trouble he caused us!Hatred can't hurt the other person's hair, but it turns one's own life into a purgatory.

An NYPD bulletin board reads: "If a selfish person takes advantage of you, remove him from your friend list, but don't try to retaliate. Once revenge is on your mind, you're right. The harm to oneself is definitely much greater than that of others." How can revenge hurt yourself?There are several ways. Life magazine documents how revenge can ruin your health. "Life" magazine said: "The most important personality trait of hypertensive patients is hatred. Long-term resentment leads to chronic high blood pressure and heart disease." Jesus said, "Love your enemy." He wasn't just preaching, he was preaching the medicine of the century.When Jesus said, "Forgive them 77 times," He was telling us how to avoid high blood pressure, heart disease, stomach ulcers, and allergies.

When Jesus said, "Love your enemies," he was also telling us how to improve our appearance.I've seen it, and I'm sure you've seen it too--features wrinkled or disfigured by hate and resentment.No matter how good plastic surgery is, it can't save it, and it's far worse than the appearance formed by tolerance, tenderness and love. Hatred makes us unwilling to eat even good food. It is said in the "Bible": "Better than the delicacies of hatred." Wouldn't our enemy clap his hands and giggle if he knew he could drain our energies, fatigue our nerves, disfigure our faces, and cause us to die prematurely from heart attacks?

Even if we cannot love our enemies, we should at least love ourselves a little more.We should not let the enemy control our mood, health and appearance.Shakespeare said: "The anger of hatred will burn thyself." For our own health and happiness, it is wise to forgive them and forget them. I once asked General Eisenhower's son if his father ever held a grudge against anyone.He replied, "No, my father never wastes a minute thinking about people he doesn't like." There is an old saying that those who cannot be angry are fools, and those who cannot be angry are wise.

Former New York Mayor William Galen, who was shot and nearly died, made this a principle of his politics.When he was lying on the hospital bed struggling to survive, he also said: "Every night before going to bed, I will forgive everyone and everything." Sounds too idealistic and naive?Well, let's listen to the thoughts of the German philosopher Schopenhauer again. In his "Pessimism", he compared life to a painful journey. However, in the abyss of despair, he still said: "If possible, no one should with hatred." The best way to truly forgive and forget our enemies is to appeal to a Power greater than ourselves.Because we can forget everything, and of course insults seem insignificant.

It was the time of World War I, and rumors were circulating in central Mississippi that the Germans were instigating a black mutiny.Jones was charged with instigating rebellion and was to be sentenced to death.A group of white people outside the church heard Jones say inside the church: "Life is a battle, and black people should take up arms and fight for survival and success." "Fight!" "Weapon!" Enough!These excited white youths rushed into the church, roped Jones, dragged him a mile away, threw him into the gallows, and lit the firewood to hang him and burn him at the same time.Someone shouted: "Tell him to speak! Speak! Speak!" So Jones stood on the gallows with a rope around his neck, and began to talk about his life and ideals.He graduated from the University of Idaho in 1907.He spoke of his personality, his degree, and the musical talents that made him popular with the faculty.When he graduated, someone asked him to join the hotel industry, and someone offered to pay for his music education, but he refused.Why?Because he is passionate about an ideal.Influenced by the story of Booker Washington, he set out to educate his impoverished countrymen.So he went to the most backward place he could find in the American South, a remote part of Mississippi, pawned his watch for $1.65, and he started a school in the wild woods.To the angry men who were about to execute him, Jones told how he had struggled to educate these out-of-school children to be useful farmers, laborers, cooks, and housekeepers.He also told these white people who had helped him in the process of starting his school-some white people had given him land, wood, pigs, cattle, and money to help him complete his education.

Afterwards, someone asked Jones if he hated those who dragged him to hang and burn him?His answer was that he was too busy talking about bigger things than himself to hate."I have no time to argue, no time to repent, no one can force me to hate them," he said. Hearing Jones speak so sincerely and touchingly, especially as he pleaded not for himself but only for his mission, the mob began to soften.At last an old man said, "I believe what the young man said is true, and I recognize some of the people he mentioned. He is doing a good deed, and we are wrong. We should not hang him, but help him." The old man began to pass hats in the crowd, soliciting $52 from those who wanted to hang Jones, because Jones said: "I don't have time to argue, and I don't have time to repent. No one can force me to hate them."

Before the 19th century, Epictetus once pointed out that what we reap is what we plant, and fate will always let us pay for our crimes.Epictetus said: "In the long run, everyone will pay for his mistakes. He who can bury this memory in his heart will not be angry, resentful, slandering, blaming, attacking or resentful towards others." From Hedden's "Lincoln Biography", it can be seen that Lincoln "never judged people by his own likes and dislikes. He always thought that his enemies were as capable as anyone. If someone offended him, or treated him badly, but He was the most suitable man, and Lincoln would have asked him for the position as unhesitatingly as he would a friend... I don't think he ever replaced a man because of personal dislike, or because of his political enemies."

Lincoln appointed those who had insulted him—including McClane, Swald, Stanton, and Chase—in high positions.According to Hedden, Lincoln believed that "no one should be praised or blamed for what he has done, because each of us has been shaped by the conditions and circumstances of our education, and the habits and characteristics we have formed make us what we are and what we will be" . Maybe Lincoln was right.If you and I inherited the same physical, mental, and emotional traits as our enemies, if our lives were exactly the same, we would probably do exactly the same things as they did, because we couldn't do otherwise.Let us remind ourselves of the Indian prayer: "Great God! Help me not to judge and criticize others before I walk for two weeks in other people's moccasins." So instead of hating our enemies, let We still pity them and thank God for not letting us go through the same life as they did.Instead of cursing and revenge on our enemies, why not give them forgiveness, sympathy, aid, tolerance and prayers for them.

I grew up in a home where the Bible was read every night and prayers were said before bed.I also seem to hear my father, in his lonely Missouri farmhouse, chanting the words of Jesus, which people will continue to quote as long as people take this ideal seriously: "Love your enemies, bless those who curse you, be kind to Those who hate you, pray for those who persecute you." My father said these words of Jesus all his life, and they gave him a peace of mind that many powerful people in this world are denied.