Chapter 27 Section 2 Everyone has a reason to be happy

"Happiness isn't the absence of unhappiness, it's the ability to be kind to yourself, no matter how you feel." Happiness is a kind of ability and a measure for our work and life.We use it to measure the quality of life, how much we like it. Happiness is a kind of ability.Happiness and pleasure are not the same thing.A writer once said: "Happiness is a gift that creates most of life. Pleasure comes from reckless revelry that makes people forget about life." "Happiness isn't the absence of unhappiness," Renshaw says, "it's the ability to be kind to yourself, no matter how you feel." But happiness and pleasure can be intimately linked.Because people focus on pain instead of pleasure, we cannot get pleasure.

All the research on happiness shows that happy people are busy, energetic, and outgoing.People who live in a world of personal depression will gradually lose their self in the process of searching, and children will throw themselves into the game with all their hearts.Joy comes when we forget who we are and focus on what we are getting done. Someone told the story of a studious young man.The student met a respected Zen master and asked him the secret to eternal happiness.The master smiled and picked up the chalk and wrote: "Concentrate." "Is this enough?" the student asked. "Concentration is enough," said the Master. "Without concentration, happiness has no place to live; with concentration, happiness is here now. Concentration is nothing else. Concentration is everything."

Everyone has a reason to be happy, but we always think that we are not qualified to be happy, or that we haven't done enough, and we are not yet happy.The expression of this waiting psychology is that we often say "if..., I must be very happy, but...", the fact is that we will never reach that state.If happiness cannot be enjoyed until the achievement of some goal, people will hide their happiness until that moment.Unfortunately, whether the wish is about money, a car, a job, or a loved one, even if it does come true, you may find yourself still unhappy.When everything you do now is for tomorrow, life is already distorted.

Many people try to create happiness through success because they misunderstand the quality and duration of happiness that these things bring.The new sense of well-being quickly fades, the joy starts to feel flat, and you start looking for the next one. However, this is not to say that we should not set goals, but that everyone is encouraged to set goals now.Ask yourself what you can do today for a goal tomorrow, whether that goal is health, success at work, weight loss, or something else.The only moment we can control is the present. For our work and life, happiness is a kind of ability and a measure.We use it to measure the quality of life, how much we like it.

There is such a story, that is the recruitment of a planning director of a multinational company.After layers of screening, there were only three outstanding ones left in the end.Before the last assessment, the three applicants were locked in a room with surveillance.The housekeeping and daily necessities in the room are all available, but there is no telephone and no Internet access.The examiner did not tell the three people what to do specifically, but only said that they should wait patiently for the delivery of the exam questions. The first day, the three of them spent a little excitement, reading books and newspapers, watching TV, and listening to music.

The next day, things started to look different.Because of the delay in waiting for the exam questions, some people became anxious, some people kept changing the TV channel, flipping through the books... Only one person was still laughing happily following the plot of the TV program, reading with relish , cook, eat, and sleep steadily... Five days later, the examiner invited the three people out of the room, and the chief examiner announced the final result: the person who can persist in a happy life was hired.The chief examiner explained: "Happiness is a kind of ability. Being able to maintain a happy heart in any environment can be more sure to approach success!"

In fact, whether we can be happy mainly depends on the following aspects. The way we look at life is the core of happiness.To a large extent, people's thinking determines feelings, so I can promote the same result by "thinking" something, that is, using thoughts to guide behavior. Our values ​​and rules of life are also very important.If success is the credo of your life, then the foundation of success is making money.This rule-value system is not necessary to create happiness. The vast majority of us inherit our parents' values ​​and other social behaviors that we get used to without even knowing what they are.If the purpose of life is to please others—and many of us are—then we start by worrying that we are not doing well enough, and that thought can only lead to unhappiness, anger, stress, and disease.Being too concerned about the external environment can lead to a sense of stress.Happy people are those who know their goals and have a clear idea of ​​how to get there.

Balancing our characters is also important to being happy.We play different roles in life - work, family.People certainly place more weight on the role that gets more recognition—whether professional or personal.But basing one's own happiness on someone else's role can only bring unhappiness and pressure to oneself. You may be doing well in the role you think is most important, but remember that it's never okay to ignore other roles for that.We call the means of creating happiness our "higher purpose," or purpose.Once you know what you want, how and why your life should be spent, you can create a goal and take the steps to achieve it.