Chapter 17 3. Jinghua Yanyun Dream

According to experts, there are currently 3.8 million "North Drifters" working and living in Beijing.Some people say that "Northern Drifting" includes a state of psychological drifting besides the actual physical drifting - "After get off work every day, I always linger on the road for a long time, watching the hurrying pedestrians and passing cars, always I feel like I am a lonely person," wrote a "Beipiao".And the "inequality" in Beijing has exacerbated this lack of sense of security: foreigners need to apply for a temporary residence permit to buy a house, they cannot buy discounted annual tickets for the elderly in various parks, and children of "Northern Drifters" also need to pay extra "school selection fees" ...

To define "North Drifters", whether or not they have a Beijing household registration is an important criterion.Tangible interests such as housing, medical care, and children's schooling are all premised on the intangible household registration.But few people regard migrant workers in Beijing as "beijing drifters", even though they also do not have household registration. "Beipiao" usually refers to young people from other places who have a university degree and are engaged in intellectual work.Compared with migrant workers who only want to support their families, "Beipiao" came to Beijing with dreams and goals.

However, as Peng Yuanwen, editor of Fenghuang.com, said: "The concentration of power leads to the concentration of resources. If you can't be a civil servant, it's good to come to a big city to pick up the crumbs that fall from the corners of people's mouths. To paraphrase this sentence: Everyone wants to squeeze into a big city , persuasion is not persuasion to go back, this is not an ideal, but a reality." It was in the face of this reality that batch after batch of young people broke into the city of Beijing single-handedly.According to Hong Kong's "Ming Pao" report: "In 1992, there were about 20,000 'Northern Drifters' in the entertainment industry, and now it has reached 300,000. Gathered a large group of 'North Drifters'. Young faces, struggling to survive and pursue their dreams. As of 2001, in Haidian, a high-tech area, there were 100,000 university graduates who did not have Beijing hukou to work."

Despite a lack of sense of belonging and security, and despite the annoying traffic jams and air pollution they experience every day, the "Beipiao" never leave Beijing.As for the reason, some people say that there are many opportunities in the capital, some people say that they have a "Beijing complex", and some people say that it is just because the person they love is here.If you have to classify it according to your career ideals, most of the "Beipiao" people have two kinds of dreams: the dream of being a star and the dream of being an official. In 1990, a Yunnan native named Wu Wenguang made a documentary called "Wandering in Beijing".It tells the story of five "blind flow" artists (Zhang Ci, Gao Bo, Zhang Dali, Zhang Xiaping and Mou Sen) struggling and wandering in Beijing.

These people are the epitome of a group of people in an era, representing a pursuit and way of life.Wu Wenguang is also a Beijing drifter, and has a similar mental journey to the five "blind streams".He said: "I have lived a similar life with the characters in the film, hopeful and disappointed, painful and happy, childish and crazy. I thought at that time, we have been full of artistic dreams since the early 1980s, abandoned People living in Beijing who are restricted by occupation and household registration may soon end their history of "wandering in Beijing" in their own ways. I should start shooting something to record it. This was the original motivation for making this film. The film was completed After that, the entire 1980s has been turned over. For a certain type of Chinese youth, it may be the end of a romantic and dreamy era, and the 1990s will be completely different, even if "Wandering" The characters in "Beijing", their "artistic life" may also become "life art".

Therefore, "Wandering Beijing" also has a subtitle-"The Last Dreamer".Beijing is an ideal stage for young people. They take it for granted that when they come to Beijing, they can do the work they want and give full play to their talents.Zhang Ci finally chose to come to Beijing because he couldn't bear the coldness and mediocrity of the Gejiu editorial office in Yunnan.The reason why Zhang Xiaping came to Beijing is that Beijing is the capital, and the word "Beijing" attracts people, but what attracts people is actually her own ideal of Beijing.Zhang Dali came to Beijing because he could not survive without Huahua.Gao Bo stayed in Beijing because he wanted to take some photos he wanted to take. He said that freelance is freelance, and everyone should have some freelance.Mou Sen dreams of owning his own theater troupe in Beijing and performing some of his own plays.

However, their dreams have a fierce conflict with reality.Zhang Dali thinks that he has begun to hate the artistic atmosphere in Beijing. He doesn't know what to do among a large group of people who are rushing to make a living.Gao Bo's understanding of blind flow is contradictory and dual. He thinks he lacks a sense of security in Beijing, but because he has a Beijing ID card, he doesn't have to worry about the household registration issue like other people.Like Gao Bo and Zhang Dali, Mou Sen sometimes lacks financial resources, so he has to eat everywhere, and he has summed up a set of tricks for making money.When Zhang Ci mentioned that she lived near Peking University, and Peking University was both her cafeteria and her bathhouse, she cried because she did not have a real stable home of her own.Zhang Xiaping suffered from severe depression. As the saying goes, an artist is a lunatic. She thought of suicide many times because of the pressure of life.In the social environment at that time, being a freelancer meant facing unsecured life and a series of other problems.While pursuing their dreams, they also have to cope with the heavy pressure of life, so in their hearts, material and spiritual are fighting fiercely.

One of the important reasons why "Northern Drifters" gather in Beijing instead of Shenzhen, Wuhan, etc. is that the authorities in various fields such as literature and art in the country are almost concentrated here, and the eyes of the people of the whole country are gathered here.Such an excellent environment is unique in China, and the atmosphere created is also unique, which undoubtedly provides the best "growth environment" for the "North Drifters" who are chasing their dreams.More importantly, taking the high-end route is the best way to become famous successfully. It is undoubtedly the wish of many "Northern Drifter" artists to get close to the authorities and expect to be instructed, supported, packaged, and promoted by "famous teachers" in order to become famous overnight. The "little Jiujiu" in my heart.

Chasing the "artistic dream" in the city of Beijing, eager to become famous and famous, are the initial and most basic characteristics of the "Beijing Dream". "Northern drifting" did not start today, Beijing has always been the political and cultural center of the country, and the "Northern drifting phenomenon" was in the ascendant at the end of the Qing Dynasty and the beginning of the Republic of China.The Dashilan and Tianqiao areas in Qianmen, Beijing are bustling with commerce, and it is also a place where teahouses and restaurants gather together. It is naturally an ideal place for fighting, performing arts, storytelling, and singing.A large number of folk artists came here to perform "Liandier" from all over the world. After the founding of the People's Republic of China, the well-known cross talk masters Hou Baolin, Guo Quanbao, Bai Quanfu, Chang Guitian, Zhang Shaojie, "Pingju Queen" Bai Yushuang, Xin Fengxia, etc. It is a model of the success of "Northern Drift".

When talking about the successful artists of "Northern Drift", Qi Baishi, the master of traditional Chinese painting, must be mentioned. Originally from Xiangtan, Hunan, Qi Baishi was born in a poor peasant family. He worked as a cowherd boy when he was young, and was a carpenter before the age of 26. He learned poetry, calligraphy and painting from others in his spare time, and gradually improved in painting. In 1920, 57-year-old Qi Baishi left his hometown and went to Beijing alone, becoming the oldest "Northern drifter" in history.He thought it would not be difficult to make a living in Beijing with his painting skills, but his paintings were uninterested and could not be sold at all.Qi Baishi, who was in trouble, reflected painfully, and began to understand that painting is "wonderful between resemblance and resemblance", so he completely denied his own painting method.Living in a dilapidated temple, he practiced hard day and night, learning from Xu Wei, Zhu Da, Shi Tao, Wu Changshuo and other great masters, and finally made the "Reform in Declining Years" a success, perfecting his painting skills day by day, forming a unique style of freehand Chinese painting, blooming "red flowers and ink leaves". "The first of its kind.Especially melons, fruits, vegetables, flowers, birds, insects and fish are famous, and their prices are also increasing day by day. In 1926, Qi Baishi became an honorary professor of the National Beiping Art College; in 1931, at the age of 67, Qi Baishi bought a house in Beijing and officially settled in Beijing.

The "Northern Drifters" followed in the footsteps of the successful ones and followed suit.Not to mention, in the past two years, there are many lucky people who have become the best in the "North Drift".In 2008, Wang Baoqiang, the "silly root" who released his first personal autobiography "Go Forward, A History of Struggle in a Youthful Age", is the most typical example. This rural kid born in Hebei started his "Beipiao" life from a basement that sleeps six people: "I got off the train at Beijing West Railway Station, and when I got off the train, I saw, ah, this is the train in Beijing Station——Beijing West Railway Station. The high-rise building is really tall. It is the first time I have seen such a tall building. Beijing is so big, and I am really at a loss”; , the total was less than 600 yuan, 500 yuan was accumulated by myself, and 80 yuan was given by my father and mother. I was suddenly a little confused. In Beijing, is the cheapest accommodation really that expensive? How many days will my little money be enough to spend?” However, the persistent dream of making a movie made Shagen persevere in Beijing.Of course he has suffered a lot, which is the price he needs to pay for the "Beijing Dream". Wang Baoqiang's success story seems to be a typical youth inspirational story.But people are used to ignoring the dedication and accumulation behind it after seeing the success. At the age of 8, he entered Shaolin Temple to learn martial arts and stayed for 6 years; at the age of 16, he went to Beijing alone to pursue his movie dream. Waiting at the door to be selected as an extra who might not even be found; until Feng Xiaogang gave him the chance, and he firmly grasped it. There are indeed some people in the "Northern Drifters" who have succeeded, but the success of these people is not because they chose Beijing, but because Beijing chose them. Everyone can have the "Beijing Dream", but Beijing will never lower the threshold for you to enter her because you are dreaming about her, because the city is full of dreams; you have to stay in this city, for Pay the price for getting closer to your dream, every moment, but how much you pay is enough, it doesn't matter what you say. As Lei Hongpei stated in his article: "I agree with capable and wise young people who put their youth in big cities, but this 'placement' has prerequisites. 'Ability' means that they have outstanding careers. Ability and professional quality do not necessarily have a glamorous diploma. They can stand out in the fierce competition, stand out from others, and have a place in the overcrowded big cities. "Wisdom" has more special connotations, and it is not enough to have only a professional level. It is also necessary to have better social survival ability, psychological ability and calm psychological quality. In terms of psychological development, to achieve a real adult state, in the face of various setbacks and psychological pain in the future, it can be resolved smoothly and calmly.” Lacking any of the above-mentioned qualities, it would be unwise, even dangerous, to break into Beijing with only a "Beijing Dream". In 2006, the inside story of Beijing's "Huairou Small Courtyard" was uncovered under the investigation of reporters.The truth revealed to the world is an out-and-out nightmare.A group of 20-year-old foreign children mainly with high school education, because they love film and television since they were young, they dream of becoming stars.So I came to Beijing, but after several twists and turns, more than 80% of them were "transported" to Huairou by illegal film and television companies, and lived in small farmyards rented by some criminals, where they began to be exploited in various ways by the courtyard leaders. The so-called Huairou Xiaoyuan is a kind of "industry" name, that is, a farmhouse where a large number of Beidiao actors live.These homes are all owned by local residents, and they are rented to some lawbreakers (called Yardou) at a monthly rent of several hundred yuan; "In a house of about 20 square meters, 8 beds are densely packed; the beds are bunk beds for 16 people, and only one person can pass through the aisle. The quilt on the bed is so dirty that the color cannot be seen clearly, and it is in a mess piled up." Once the children entered such a small courtyard, they were basically put under "house arrest": when they entered, the courtyard chief tried every means to collect all the money on them, and then told them to "wait for the show", but basically they couldn't wait for any big show . Xiao Li from Shijiazhuang suffered from many malignant sores on his mouth due to malnutrition.When she came to the small courtyard two months ago, she had to pay 100 yuan for accommodation, 100 yuan for management, and 80 yuan for the director's drama to the hospital every month. After paying the money, she was penniless.But in the past two months, she has only appeared in one scene, has no lines, and has not received any salary. "We usually just sleep, try to get something to eat, and have nothing to do." The children live in the yard and are gradually "divided" by the yard.First of all, the head of the courtyard talked sweetly, called them "brothers", and trained some boys to be thugs, "maintaining order" internally, and consolidating the strength of the small courtyard externally.The experience of girls is even worse, they are often forced to go out to "accompany drinks".Many girls who accompany the wine have to go through the "last hurdle".One of the 17-year-old girls has thus become pregnant twice. In June 2006, after the attention of the national media, the issue of actors in Beipiao attracted the attention of all sectors of society, and more than half of Huairou small courtyards were closed.But the situation of most "Beipiao actors" has not been fundamentally improved.The deceitful film and television companies still exist, and they are still homeless. do you know?Mao Zedong was also a member of the "North Drifters" family. In 1920, the young Mao Zedong was introduced by his mentor Yang Changji (also his later father-in-law), and came to Beijing from Changsha. He stayed in a room in Yang’s house and worked as an assistant with a monthly salary of eight silver dollars in the library of Peking University.During Mao Zedong's "part-time job" in the library of Peking University, he often talked with Li Dazhao, Deng Zhongxia, etc. about state affairs, family affairs, and world affairs. Later, Mao Zedong, Cai Hesen and others moved to No. 7, Ji'an East Jiadao (now No. 8, Ji'an Zuo Lane), Sanyanjing, Jingshan East Street, near Peking University, and shared three bungalows with six other members of Xinmin Society, sharing a big kang. Continue his "North Drifting" life.Mao Zedong once wrote in his diary: "Eight people live in three small houses, and they sleep together on a high kang." This is probably an indelible youthful memory of the future founding father. Tan Yixiao once commented on this: "Probably none of the young people who lived here at that time thought that one of them would control the fate of the whole of China and dominate the ups and downs of the land of China thirty years later." Throughout the ages, all kinds of people, with big or small political ambitions, have entered the city of Beijing in an attempt to flex their muscles and rise to the top.After all, there is only one Mao Zedong.But the dream of becoming an official and a leader is something everyone can do.Beijing has become the incubator of these dreams.It seems that everyone has tacitly understood that it is easier to get promoted in a place close to the central government. How does an official go from an ordinary clerk to an official to a provincial department?What are the similarities and differences between the promotion paths of government officials and "local princes"? "Southern Weekend" published a special article in May 2010, interviewing Shan Aihong and Zhang Qin, two professors at the Beijing Municipal Party School who have long been in contact with Beijing officials, on this issue. "A place where officials are stable often leads to rapid local economic development, and local officials also emerge in droves." Zhang Qin said, "In some economically and culturally backward areas, officials are more likely to compare and care about, and it is more difficult to produce Since officials with big hearts and long-sightedness are lacking in the local area, they can only be selected from other places, which reduces the promotion opportunities of local officials.” "On the contrary, in some economically and culturally developed regions, the development ideas of the predecessors are effectively connected, and the officials have a broad vision and obvious advantages. They can export cadres to other regions and departments, thereby providing more opportunities for local officials to be promoted." Shan Aihong said. The two professors said it very tactfully, but they also pointed out that "Beijing, as the capital, guards the side of the central government, and is intertwined up and down, left, and right, and requires higher coordination ability of officials."It is not easy to be an official in Beijing, but generally on the right track, the probability of promotion is naturally much better than that of officials in "certain economically and culturally backward areas". Facts have also proved that it is not uncommon for local officials in Beijing to be transferred from vice-ministerial or even bureau-level positions to central ministries and commissions. "Southern Weekend" reporter counted the resumes of 73 members of the Standing Committee of the Beijing Municipal Party Committee and deputy mayors since 1988, and found that 12 of them were promoted to the central government step by step in Beijing. Therefore, all young people who think they have a few talents and are eager to "govern the country and bring peace to the world" will naturally rush to the capital Beijing in a hurry.It's just that, for recent college graduates, the threshold for officialdom in Beijing is getting higher and higher.The household registration system was stuck in the past, and the work experience at the grassroots level was blocked in the future-is it easy to leap into the dragon's gate? Starting in 2010, 80% of the civil servants recruited by the party and government agencies in Beijing and districts and counties will require more than two years of work experience at the grassroots level; Selected from the fresh graduates of the university, all recruits with grass-roots work experience. As soon as the news came out, it immediately attracted a lot of attention.Some people speculate: the recruitment of civil servants in state agencies has reduced the proportion of fresh graduates, will college students still squeeze the single-plank bridge of civil servant examinations? For this reason, the China Youth Daily Social Survey Center conducted a special survey on 2,385 college students (including graduate students and vocational college students) through the topic survey website in March 2010. The results showed that 34.2% of college students are optimistic about the employment opportunities of party and government agencies (civil servants), while only 7.0% of college students "do not find civil servants attractive". It can be seen that civil servants are still the sweet pastry in the eyes of college students.Jin Jinghua, a senior student at China University of Political Science and Law, has passed the national civil servant and Zhejiang provincial civil servant exams. Although he knows that the chances of being admitted are slim, he still has the mentality of giving it a try. "The treatment and security of civil servants are better than most units. Given a chance, I'll try my luck." Gao Pei, a graduate student at China Agricultural University, also preferred a job in the government sector.And she even pointed out the general appeal of the job of "civil servants" to young people: Although the salary is not necessarily high, but the benefits are good, it is equivalent to getting an iron job, and you don't have to worry about being recruited by younger people after the age of 30. People squeezed out. "Besides, the power is also great. Although the income is not as good as that of foreign companies and state-owned companies, it will be much more convenient to do things." The China Youth Daily survey also showed that 66.5% of college students preferred "good welfare" to the attractiveness of civil servant positions; 66.3% said "good stability"; 59.5% said "good security".Next, the rankings given by the college students are: high salary (46.9%), easy work (45.2%), high social status (43.9%), high other income (19.2%), and great power (18.3%). Liu Erduo, deputy dean of the School of Labor and Human Resources at Renmin University of China, believes that the main reason why college students’ enthusiasm for applying for civil servants is the issue of official status. In many countries, civil servants are just jobs, and Chinese civil servants still have power and even power rent-seeking. question. And the vast majority of young people who are interested in civil servants yearn for Beijing and the central government.The fact is that in 2001, more than 30,000 people applied for the examination of civil servants in the central state organs. By 2005, within five years, the number of applicants had increased by 10 times. Some people think that behind this craze is young people's worship of power, and the central government has the greatest power, and the flock of young people to the central government is the real reason for this "crazy". However, Beijing has never lacked "dreams", so enthusiasm alone is not enough.Therefore, some people say that most of the "North Drifters" have a common disease called "big city delusion", which is infected among thousands of "aspiring young people" in China. The term originally came from a comment in the China Youth Daily entitled "Don't let the big city paranoia overwhelm you": "Trying to exchange so-called enthusiasm and hardship for a 'big city entry pass' may be a kind of delusion , a kind of unrealistic paranoia. Under the huge gap between reality and imagination, it is inevitable to lose, inferiority and anxiety. After struggling, what you get is a kind of psychological torture and real embarrassment, and even take risks and go to the road of no return. Why bother?" Liao Baoping, a commentator of "Changjiang Daily", said: "Most of the North Drifters have a strong 'Beijing complex', and there is a kind of tension of 'I would rather have a bed in Beijing than a suite in other places'. Many people think that this is their This is of course a problem of concept, and concept leads to action. But where did this concept come from, and what made them so determined that they would rather make oxtails in Beijing than go abroad to make chicken heads? If we say that this is a natural choice of dream-chasing behavior or way of life for some thoughtful, pursuing, and talented young people.Then, we can't help but ask again: If it's just to chase your dreams, where can't you chase them? Why do you have to go to Beijing?Why is it Beijing? In Liao Baoping's words, this is because "we sang the song 'I love Beijing Tiananmen' when we were very young. Beijing is a city that the Chinese people yearn for very much. status, even special rights, this is undeniable".Moreover, "Beijing is not the Beijing of Beijingers, but the Beijing of the people of the whole country, not only because it is the capital of many dynasties, the capital of the People's Republic of China, under the institutional characteristics of the Chinese dynasties, under the 'whole nation system', in various periods , People all over the country have actively supported and supported Beijing, which can be described as "those who have money contribute money, and those who have no money contribute effort." However, Beijing has not been able to truly be enjoyed by the people of the whole country. Obstacles such as the strict household registration system and increasingly outrageously high housing prices have kept outsiders far away from the achievements of "Beijing's civilization built with the efforts of the people of the whole country." "Except.Therefore, in his view, "Bei Piao can also be regarded as representing people from other places to share the achievements of civilization under the national system." Maizi's 2004 article "I struggled for 18 years to sit with you and drink coffee" may explain this kind of dream-seeking complex in a big city. "My white-collar friends, if I were a migrant worker who came to Shanghai to work without graduating from junior high school, would you sit with me and drink coffee at 'Starbucks'? No, definitely not. Comparing our growth history, would you I found out that I need to make great efforts for something that you think is easy to get." However, 3 years later, someone brought up another fact in Beijing: Maizi spoke prematurely, "So what about 18 years? No matter how rich the years are, I still can't sit with you and drink coffee." Because "I was 25 that year. Countless sleepless nights, in exchange for a master's degree, the forehead lines on the forehead were very obvious, but I didn't dare to stop half a step. If you don't want to return your hukou to your original place, you will have endless children and grandchildren. Kui, I have to quickly find a job in Beijing. What about you? You are not in a hurry, World of Warcraft and Red Alert? You are already tired of playing! You are ambitiously planning to start a business...Unfortunately, I can’t. Start a business with you, It is a chess game that can be advanced, retreated, attacked, and defended. The start-up funds are raised by the three aunts and six relatives. Even if they fail, the warm stove with three bedrooms and one living room will never fail. Failure to me means that it is difficult to recover from the flood. Every summer, in order to save three to five hundred dollars of machine money, parents have to harvest 5 acres of farmland under the sun with lumbar muscle strain... "The process of starting from scratch was arduous and long. In the whole 3 years, I never took a long vacation or ate a duck neck; I was not surprised to hear the news that 'Hu Xinyu, a 25-year-old employee of Huawei, died of overwork'. The phenomenon of exchanging blood, sweat and youth for money is too common in this industry. Next time, when you see a group of people in suits and leather shoes carrying IBM laptops struggling to squeeze into a 40 cents bus in Shangdi, don’t be surprised, we are a group IT migrant workers... "Suddenly, your good news fell from the sky: invite everyone to go to the new house to warm the house on weekends. How is it possible? You are faster than me? But the bright and bright 100 square meters, Red Apple furniture, and 37-inch LCD large color TV are undoubtedly in front of you You said lightly, the old man gave 100,000, and her family also gave 100,000, always urging us to get married... On the way home, my girlfriend was silent. She, like me, came from an unknown mountain city. I embraced Passing her shoulders, encouraging her is also encouraging myself, it doesn't matter, we trade time for space... "We all want to give heaven to the girl we love, but the meaning of heaven is very different. Your wife has become a full-time wife and downloads "Friends" and "Prison Break" every day on eDonkey; I think so too, but my wife disagrees , you raise me, who raises my parents? I can’t bear to let you raise 7 people alone. When your girl puts on a Clinique mask and raises her feet comfortably, my girl fights tenaciously in the sea of ​​people... This is a portrayal of a new generation of immigrants in Beijing, and it is also a typical "urban-rural gap".Therefore, everyone wants to squeeze into a big city, and wants to get more abundant "sunshine" in the high places of this country, hoping to make a leap in life and the lives of their children and grandchildren. But why drift north?Have you really asked yourself?Before you chose to come to Beijing, did you arrange a retreat for yourself?After you have lived in Beijing for five or six years, have you ever thought that your golden age is about to pass?But your future is always uncertain?Don't lie to yourself by saying that you still have dreams in your heart. This society talks about strength, and strength = family background + personal ability. Among them, family background accounts for 80% of the ingredients.Maybe some Beidiao finally bought their own house outside the Fifth Ring Road in Beijing after several years, but what's the use of that?This is just a small business. If you were in your hometown, you should live a much better life than now. Why do you want to drift north, have you asked yourself? The answer given by Milk Tea (pseudonym) is "greedy for Beijing's so-called prosperity and so-called opportunities." In the summer of 2009 she received her master's degree. "Although I got a diploma, I didn't live up to it. I couldn't sell myself for a good price in the sluggish job market last year. Thinking about it now, I seemed to be bewitched at the time, and I wanted to stay in Beijing .” So, for a Beijing hukou, Milk Tea swallowed his anger and went to teach in a rural middle school in the suburbs.After work, the biggest feeling is - "I entered the wrong room".Everything was out of tune with her, the rogue students, and the casual colleagues made her feel suffocated and hopeless. "Free morning reading classes, evening self-study for 5 yuan a class, classes as usual on Saturdays, 2,800 yuan salary, apart from household registration, I really don't know what other reason to stay." Milk tea, who lives alone, hopes to buy a house and settle down in Beijing as soon as possible. "I have been looking at the house. I think, even if there is no man, I can buy a suite first. It is good for self-occupation or investment." People are getting more and more worried and desperate. "Now I fully realize that in my current situation, buying a house in Beijing is simply picking the moon." Milk tea's hometown is in a small and medium-sized city, and both parents work in government agencies, so they have no worries about food and clothing. "My mother used to say that if you can't do it, you can come back. It's not easy for a girl to be outside, and you will always have your place at home. At that time, I just smiled indifferently, thinking, I have been in Beijing for seven years, and I have read to this point. I will definitely have a good home in Beijing. Looking at it now, I really want to save face too much. I always feel that I have no ability to go back to my hometown after studying in Beijing for so many years. It turns out that I am really too vain. Good, but those good things need money and power. You who have nothing, watched others get into PetroChina and Sinopec through connections, watched others buy houses and cars, and watched LV, Gucci, Benz, Minicooper all over the street. Addiction, is it really meaningful?..." "I can't help but ask myself, what do you own when I see classmates and friends around me happily posting travel photos, event photos, eating and drinking photos, and wedding photos?" An ordinary girl has no home, no house, and no boyfriend. Even if she has a dream in her heart in Beijing, how likely is it to realize it?