Chapter 6 Chapter Five If I'm Not a Genius, Should I Have No Way Out?

Chinese people advocate education and knowledge, which has been a tradition since ancient times.When the rumbling chariot of knowledge economy and modernization is driving us towards a bright future, academic qualifications, diplomas, and famous schools are repeatedly promoted as the value orientation that people pursue.There is no denying that this upward pursuit is progressive and reasonable.But people should understand that ten fingers also have different lengths, and genius is not the common IQ of human beings.Therefore, all geniuses and those who are not geniuses themselves should definitely give up this kind of blind pursuit that is not in line with the basic human feelings.

There is no need to educate you and him with three hundred and sixty lines of words to be the champion, but you and him must understand one thing: when you roughly raise your stick and fist, maybe you are destroying a person who can develop his potential in other fields genius. As long as we pay attention to observe, in fact, there are countless extremely real stories happening in front of us every day in life. And behind these true stories, there are many blood and tears that ordinary people can't imagine. I don’t know when it started. On the streets of Beijing, you can often see people who look like young students begging there. Their common feature is that they are poor college students who can’t afford to study. A letter of help filled with the situation of their impoverished family.This is because after I wrote this book that specifically reflects the living conditions of poor college students, friends and acquaintances almost constantly reported to me special news about poor college students begging on the street in a certain place.In the beginning, I really put down my work several times and rushed to the scene in order to do my part to help these poor students who had been reduced to beggars on the street. Didn't we Chinese lose face when they saw this scene?I can unavoidably talk about the children in mountainous areas who cannot go to school because of poverty, and I can unavoidably talk about how mothers in impoverished areas live a hard life, but we should never let foreigners talk about us as intellectual college students. It is so hard that you have to be a beggar to enter the school and maintain your studies.

Maybe the reason why I have done a lot of work for poor college students, maybe I have a way to change the fate of those children who cannot realize their college dreams due to economic reasons, so for a while, I only need to hear people say where there is a street The beggar was a college student, so he hurried over to see if he could help them.But later it was discovered that there were too many fish in troubled waters, for example, some people pretended to be college students to cheat, so they became indifferent to this kind of on-site rescue.However, maybe it is because of the lofty honor of the "Sunshine Messenger" awarded to me by Project Hope that it is difficult to erase the compassion for poor college students in my heart. Whenever I see poor college students begging on the street, I always feel Stop and ask a few questions.

Just one day in September last year, on my way to work, I ran into a female college student begging for pedestrians at the No. 103 bus stop on Fuyou Street. At that time, I was riding a bicycle very fast, and then I couldn't help but fell back tens of meters and looked back at this small-looking female college student for a few minutes.I see that most Beijingers are already very indifferent to such student beggars, or because they have seen too many cheating by such fake college students in TV and newspapers, they usually just pass by with a staring glance. On the contrary, those foreign tourists sometimes stop to look carefully at the help letter written by impoverished college students out of curiosity, and then some people who are touched will throw away thirty-five cents and walk away.But I haven't seen anyone really generous to help such college students.

Beijingers see many kinds of people on the street, and they become numb to everything. Seeing that no one was interested in that impoverished female college student, I pushed my bicycle closer to look at the words written on the help book.I find it a little strange that this poor female college student is different from other poor college students begging on the street in that her clothes are very fashionable, definitely above the ordinary level of poor students; secondly, the paper used in her help book is somewhat It is different and obviously has a flaw - because I can see that there is an advertisement for a certain product on the back of the paper, and poor college students with real difficulties in their families will not just find a piece of paper and start begging like this , they are usually made very carefully, although the paper is very common, but very few people just pick up any paper and use it.

"Student, are you really in trouble? If it is true, I can help you..." After I said this, the girl looked at me with very puzzled eyes.And I also stared at her—I confirmed that she was not a poor college student, but I believed that she was not a liar in the usual sense. In order to relieve her doubts, I took out a business card and told her: I have written works about poor college students, if you really have any difficulties, I will try my best to help you. The girl hesitated, a little flustered, preparing to pack her help book. "Don't be afraid, I won't hurt you, and I won't send you anywhere. I just want to understand why you must choose this way to ask for help from others. You must know that this is the capital, and your behavior It turns a lot of people off, so even if you stay here for a day, you might not get a few cents, you know?"

The girl probably didn't think I was a bad person, and the above analysis might make sense, so she showed some trust in me. "Uncle, I'm really in trouble. Huh..." The girl burst into tears. "Let's go, let's talk in another place." I led her to a secluded place at the entrance of the Obstetrics and Gynecology Clinic of Peking University Hospital and asked her to sit down. The girl sat on the stone slab by the street, lowered her head and sobbed. "Can you tell me where you're from? Still in school? High school?" "Ok." "Can you tell me why you pretend to be a poor college student?"

"Woooo..." She cried again. "Don't be afraid, I just want to hear you tell the truth, so that I can help you." When dealing with such a strange girl, you can only gain her trust with sincerity.And I think she also has to be sincere in order to gain the trust of others.Luckily this is a smart girl - she gets what I mean. "Uncle, I...have no choice, so..." She cried again. "Everyone will have unlucky times. I think you may be one of the more unlucky ones now." "Yes, Uncle, you are right, I am really unlucky, I should not have been born in a family that only knows scores but not love..." As I guessed, the girl finally began to tell the truth.However, her experience is completely beyond my imagination, because it is too typical, which makes me feel somewhat fabricated-but I completely believe in the truth of what she said:

The girl did not want to tell her name or the specific address of her family. She only said that she was a senior high school student in a certain city in Jilin Province.She said she hated her parents because they saw her only as a tool to satisfy the family. "How to say?" This is another special child that I have never heard of. The girl actually has strong language skills, but she said: "My parents always feel that the older I am, the less I will listen to them and do what they want. When I was in junior high school, I was always the top three in my class. Well, my parents who work in the post office always use me as a bragging rights, they take me to their work unit whenever they have something to do, and even show off to customers who don’t know each other at the counter.

"At that time, I was still young, and I felt flattered by someone's compliments. Because at that time, especially when I got the first few exams, my mother would not only take me to her unit to show off, but also give me compliments. Buying new clothes and delicious food, it seems that my academic performance is more popular than her in the unit evaluation. "Later I found out that my mother belonged to the younger group of junior high school students who went to the mountains and went to the countryside. When she was my age, she didn't study seriously for a few days. When she resumed the college entrance examination, she failed to catch up because of her poor foundation. Last time. Later, when I returned to the city, I was assigned a job, but because of my low level of education, I always seemed to be unable to hold my head up. Before she came to the post office, she worked in a scientific research unit. Most of the people there were people with academic qualifications and professional titles, like A person like her who has only a junior high school education is only suitable for a handyman. My mother is a strong person and can't stand others' attention, so she was later transferred to work in the post office. When she started to work, she didn't think she was inferior to others, because in this industry There are more than one or two people like her who only have a junior high school education.

"Around when I was in the fifth grade, I suddenly felt that my mother had changed. She took care of me all day except for going to work. She didn't care if I agreed or needed it. As long as I saw any tutoring classes in the city, she would give me What class to enroll in. What kind of intensive class, what Olympiad class, what improvement class...as long as she can get it, she will do everything possible to enroll me. I feel very tired, but every time I am in class, I see my mother for a long time Sitting on the street waiting for me, I had to bear it myself. There were even a few times when I was really moved. For example, once my mother was hit by a bicycle and couldn’t walk, but she still insisted They want to send me to an Olympic school far away. When I was on the bus, because she couldn’t walk easily, she was squeezed on the curb, and her face was covered with blood. I said don’t take this class, we Go home. She scolded me loudly: You said that you missed a class today, and you will not be able to keep up next time, you know? I said you are so hurt, how can I be interested in listening to the class? After listening to her I was stunned, and then said, you listen to your class, and you don’t care about my affairs. She took out a gauze to wrap her face, walked in front of me with her legs turned, and led me to the Olympic School... "At that time, I was really touched, and I thought that I should do a good job in my studies just for my mother. Later, my academic performance was really good, and my mother was very happy, and often took me to her unit to show off. But as time went by, and I As I got older, I gradually understood some things, so I didn’t want her to take me to her unit after I was in the third year of junior high school. In addition, my grades after high school were obviously not as good as before, and I often failed. Mom began to treat me I became more and more dissatisfied, either cursing or using words to hurt me, sometimes the scolding was very ugly, I really couldn't bear it. "Once I asked her, Mom, do you care so much about my grades? Mom stared for a long time and said angrily: Why don't I care? You know that I lost my job in a scientific research unit because of my low education level. Do you know that I can’t compete for postmaster because I have no education? What’s annoying is that she sits at the counter like me, just because her son was admitted to Tsinghua University, she shows me face every day, you know what I think Is it? I want to show her that I am not a coward, and my daughter can also get into a good university. But what do you know? The grades are getting worse and worse, and I can't even enter the university. Are you throwing your face into the urinal? You unworthy thing! You are incompetent in this life because you can’t get into college by yourself, but I pulled you so hard with shit and piss, and because you didn’t live up to it, I still want to Looking at other people's cold faces in the unit for decades... "My mother said a lot of things that day, and I suddenly felt that I understood one thing: It turned out that my parents cared so much about my academic performance, except partly for my future, and a lot of it was for their face outside. Ah! At that time, I really felt very sad and sad. Although I can also understand the parents who were delayed by the "Cultural Revolution", but I can't erase the cloud in my heart. Maybe after I understood something, I became more and more interested in learning Indifference, especially for the college entrance examination. After the third year of high school, my grades dropped seriously, and I even felt very struggling. My mother even made a noise at the school when she found out, scolded me for lying to them in front of my classmates and teachers, and for not telling them the truth. They even slapped me a few times. I felt that they had taken away the little bit of self-esteem I had. For a student, if he can’t hold his head up in school because of poor academic performance, he especially hopes to find Return some warmth and confidence, but not only did I not, but I suffered greater humiliation from my family. I ran away from home because of this..." I interrupted her and said, "Are you blind?" She said: "I know that running away is not a good choice, but I can't bear that my parents don't care about my face at all for their own face. Is their face so important while mine is so worthless? Is this fair, uncle you say?" "It's not fair, but is it wrong for you to choose to leave?" "Uncle, I didn't finish telling you, listen: I asked my mother to apologize to me when I went home that day, and promised not to go to school to make trouble again. You know what she said? She said that as long as you fail the exam, I will tell you I will not stop going to school to supervise your studies at Tsinghua University where my colleagues are like children! You don’t even want to see our good faces at home! When I heard this, I knew that I would die if I stayed at home again No. My mother can really do it. She puts her own face above everything else. I am the only code she can use to save face in front of others. If I don't reach the goal in her heart, what do you think I have a way out? Besides running away, I will be forced to die or drive them crazy if I stay at home...Uncle, can you show me the way?" "Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo..." the girl cried again, her thin shoulders heaving violently. "You came out by yourself. I didn't expect your parents to be so anxious?" I remembered that there were frequent incidents of runaway middle school students encountering misfortunes outside, and I couldn't help but worry about the girl in front of me, so I urged her: "It won't be long before you come out." Right? Hurry up and contact your family first, don’t let them look for you all over the world, it’s not good to make a mess!” "I don't want to go home..." The girl lowered her head, as if she was very determined. "I know I won't be able to pass the college entrance examination. As long as I fail to pass the college entrance examination, my mother and father will feel that they will lose their face forever, so I will not have a good life when I go back." "Then you can't wander around outside! What's more, you have experienced it, even if you are a beggar, you may not be able to fill your stomach..." The girl raised her teary eyes, and the begging look made people feel pity: "Uncle, I know you are a good person, can you help me find a university? I heard that there are many universities in Beijing, and private universities are also fine. I want to go to university." ..." What a puzzle.I understand what this girl said. She wants to use her own efforts to prove that she is capable of becoming a college student, and her ultimate goal of going to college is to save face for her parents while saving her own fate. But there's nothing I can do - it's much harder than helping a poor college student. "Universities that issue diplomas have to pass the unified examination. I can't do anything about your request." I took out 300 yuan-such things often need to be done helplessly after I finish writing. This is by no means self-proclaimed how generous He Mou is. , but out of a conscience and habit. "This little money is enough for your travel expenses back home. You go home first, finish high school, and then work hard to take the university entrance exam. The best one is to pass the exam; if you don't pass the exam, there will be next year..." "There is no next year! Uncle, my mother insists that I be admitted to Tsinghua University. How can I have that ability? Going back is tantamount to death. I would rather die outside than let my parents force me to die..." "This..." I felt helpless. "Thank you, Uncle. Thank you..." The girl suddenly got up and bowed to me three times, then turned and walked across Fuyou Street.At this time, several No. 103 buses and a convoy of chief executives passed by, and I stared blankly at the little girl who had been talking to me for a long time and disappeared from sight... That day, I told my colleagues about what I had encountered in the unit, and some people ridiculed me for being Mr. Dong Guo again.But I still believe that what the girl said is true.Because when I was writing, I met more than one or two children who were forced out of the house by their parents and wandered around.I'd rather believe it's true this time than being lied to. Because I know that in today's China, the phenomenon of expecting a child to become a dragon is becoming more and more intense.In order to send their children to Tsinghua University and Peking University and train them to be Harvard girls, the parents are almost crazy.They don't even know whether they are looking for a future for their children or digging their graves... It has been more than 20 years since China resumed the college entrance examination, and its achievements have attracted worldwide attention.However, as people's expectations for their children are getting higher and there are many problems in education itself, the psychological burden caused by the single-plank bridge of the college entrance examination is also becoming more and more serious.Due to the excessive expectations of parents and the narrow threshold of colleges, how many children have run away from home because of severe threats from their families, and how many children have been injured and killed by sticks and whips of their biological parents?It seems that no one has counted.However, someone has calculated such a set of figures: nearly 1 million children under the age of 15 die in China every year, of which 20,000 children die abnormally, and about 30% of them belong to primary and middle school students in abnormal family environments dead.I think that the abnormal death in this family environment may mostly belong to the parents who beat them to death with harsh fists and sticks under the background of hoping for their children to become a dragon.There is another statistic: Millions of children drop out of school every year, and as high as 40% of this number belong to those who can't stand the family pressure and finally give up the opportunity to go to school. Xu Li's mother-killing incident in Jinhua, Zhejiang Province last year was the most serious and typical incident, which aroused the attention of General Secretary Jiang Zemin, and on February 1, 2000, he published a speech on education issues. Xu Li was born in an ordinary worker's family, and his mother Wu Fengxian was an employee of the Jinhua County Food Company.Since Xu Li's father has been working at the train station in other places for a long time, Xu Li has basically been taken care of by his mother since he was a child.Xu Li's mother's salary is not high, so she earns some money for her son's education by helping others process some sweaters, so that the child can live a life full of food and clothing, and concentrate on studying.Xu Li usually studies very hard, but because he gradually fell behind in the class in the fierce competition later, his mother began to be dissatisfied with Xu Li.At one parent meeting, when Xu Li's mother learned that her son had fallen to 18th in the class, she went home and beat her son severely.Xu Li likes it!The ball, the mother said to him: If you play the ball again, I will break your leg!Xu Li felt that the pressure from his mother was unbearable, and the tears of grievance had to flow down his stomach. Not long after the new school year started in 2000, one day when Xu Li came home from school and watched TV for a while, his mother yelled at the side: You unbelievable thing, why do you still have the face to watch TV?Turn it off for me!Don't turn it off to see if I don't kill you?Xu Li looked at his mother's fierce face, as if standing in front of him was not his mother, but a demon.He finally couldn't bear it any longer, the anger that had been suppressed in his heart for a long time turned into a desperate resistance. He picked up a hammer with a wooden handle at the door, completely lost his mind, and hit his mother who was embroidering on the head...until After beating his mother to death, he felt a bad breath. After the incident of the middle school student brutally killing his own mother was disclosed by People's Daily, it immediately aroused strong repercussions across the country. Xinhua News Agency and Guangming Daily successively published editorials.Then we saw a number of vicious incidents in the news media that killed relatives like Xu Li because he couldn't bear the pressure from his parents. As the commentator of Xinhua News Agency said: In recent years, due to the heavy schoolwork burden of primary and middle school students, students Running away, committing suicide; pressure from parents, teachers corporal punishment and beating students, and even causing students to become disabled or die, and other vicious incidents happen from time to time. Xu Li is indeed not the only tragic figure whose children go to extremes due to the high pressure of parents. On April 2 last year, Wang Chuang, an 8-year-old second-grade boy in Liulihe, Fangshan District, Beijing, was beaten all over his body with a wooden broom by his 43-year-old mother Luo Shuping because he failed to complete his classwork, which eventually led to kidney failure. Only after emergency rescue at the hospital did he save his life.On the way to the prison, his mother said regretfully: I just want him to learn a lesson, but who would have thought that... The mentality of parents like Wang Chuang's mother who only wanted to teach a lesson, and finally forced the child to either run away or be disabled or even die. The result of losing confidence in life.Essentially, the parents of these children were not cruel in their hearts, but the means and consequences they adopted were unimaginably cruel.It is in this kind of incomprehensible torture that their children gradually develop psychological distortions, which often lead to uncontrollable vicious incidents in the end. When I was interviewing and writing last year, a female middle school student from Beijing revealed to me her burning hatred for her mother, which can be said to be quite typical.She said: "I still don't understand whether all parents in the world are like my mother. Then you say she doesn't love me. She raised me up with shit and pee since I was a child, but if she loves me Well, I feel that I have been forced to have no humanity at all. To tell you the truth, Mr. He, I have already run away from home three times. You ask why? No why, I think, if I don’t run away from home, I will definitely Will raise a knife to chop off at my mother..." Seeing me shake my head, the girl could only sigh to the sky. In fact, when I think about it, I don’t even believe it myself: “How could I have the intention to kill my own mother? But she did make me want to kill her several times.” In a coffee shop, under the melancholy melody of Mozart , the girl revealed to me the colic that has accumulated in her heart for a long time: "Actually, I know that this is not a particularly shameful thing. Anyway, I am not the only one who ran away from home among my high school classmates. There are also many female classmates. Why do you have to run away? Are there any problems at home that cannot be solved? Well, I used to think so too, but when I was in the third year of high school, I don’t know if foreigners are like this. Anyway, I think Chinese people are all one virtue—all crazy! Students are crazy, parents are crazy, teachers are crazy, It's all gone crazy! I was in a key middle school. After the senior high school entrance examination, I thought that I could breathe a sigh of relief when I got to a key middle school. Unexpectedly, the middle schools in the world are generally black, and the key middle schools are even more black.I don't believe that the key points are not important now. If we want to talk about the advantages of key middle schools, it is to gather those of us with slightly higher IQs in the city and the district who are better able to adapt to exam-oriented education from elementary school to middle school. It's just a high-level problem-solving expert. Believe it or not.This is how I feel when I go to a key middle school, and the exam workshop here gives you a high-profile hat: you are in the key middle school, which means that you are high-talented students in middle schools, and the door of universities is opened to you the widest. Doing more questions and solving difficult problems is your natural task.Shhh, the teachers and principals are always very angry when they say these things, as if those who hold up the machete and chop people never feel that there is something wrong with their psychology. If I were to choose high school now, I wouldn't be passionate about listing priorities.The experience of the past three years, the key point I have realized is that we are more brutal than others in destroying us young people. It is very sad that I don’t know that the education bureau, city leaders and the society are still so cruel to key middle schools like us. What is the purpose of boasting?In the first and second years of high school, our so-called focus is to use two years to get out of the three-year high school curriculum.After entering the third year of high school, the whole year was filled with endless questions.What do you mean endless?Some people in our lives call endless things that are repeated more than three times, but how do you know who in the world has endless things?It is the exam that our high school students face, that is endless!I really want to say to the film director Feng Xiaogang that he should shoot our middle school students' exams, that would be really endless! Which nation is the largest in China?It's our exam family!Who is the hardest person in the world?It's our examiner! Every day when the people in the city are still sound asleep, there are two kinds of people running on the street, one is the cleaners who clean the street, and the other is us senior high school students who carry schoolbags.Don’t think it’s early when you enter the school gate at 6 o’clock. Those who are earlier than you have already been in the classroom for nearly an hour of self-study. The teacher praises these students every day, just to remind those students who arrive after 6 o’clock. The two hours between 6:00 and 8:00 are often very exciting: the teacher sneaks away to his office to take a nap after entering the door, and we can always hear those earth-shattering snoring sounds in our classroom. We all make fun of snorers, and after almost everyone has become a snorer, no one makes fun of them anymore, but when everyone hears someone snoring loudly, they will quietly boo to the people around them: lighten up , don't wake him (her).Look, look how united we are!This is forced out, because the teacher will not care, and the parents will not care about us, the hardest test takers. Classes start after 8 o'clock.So the teachers of mathematics, physics, chemistry, literature, history and politics began to bombard you one by one with eloquence.This one says that mathematics is the most important subject in all college entrance examinations. If you master mathematics well, physics and chemistry can be brought up naturally; the other says that Chinese is the key to the success of the college entrance examination. It’s down, so whether the Chinese class is good or not is not only the highlight of the liberal arts students, but also the key to the science students; this one says that mathematics, physics and chemistry rely on doing more questions and solving difficult problems, and the other says that the key to liberal arts is memorizing and memorizing questions; this It is said that there is no test in the world that does not rely on doing questions to judge good and bad students. The one who said that the key point of university admissions lies in the high or low test scores-all the words form a meaning: taking the test is the only one for you. Choice is the only way out. In the first month or two, we really felt like we were on the verge of a battle, but gradually we found that in the next few months, the teacher asked us to repeat the difficult papers that we had already done or the strange papers that we did not know where to find. In addition, there is no new stuff that makes us feel that it is necessary to work hard, it is nothing more than familiarity.And the rest is the tense atmosphere of the college entrance examination caused by man.What is counting down this month, the final sprint next month, and the fight to the death next month—the blackboard, on the playground, in the dining hall, in the broadcast period, and in the hallway of the dormitory, the relevant moments are posted and written everywhere The slogans and slogans for preparing for the college entrance examination make you feel like you are on the battlefield, or like entering a funeral home in a crematorium. Even if your relatives are not dead, you will feel sad when you hear the mourning music. During the 12 hours from entering school at 6 o'clock to leaving school at 6 o'clock in the afternoon, all of us felt like doing hard labor in a prison or in a capitalist factory with overseers.I finally went home, but the home of the senior high school students was darker than prisons and capitalist factories with supervisors.When eating, you want to relax and learn about important national affairs by the way. As soon as you turned on the TV, your mother stared at you: Didn’t you agree that when the sky falls in the third year of high school, don’t worry about outside affairs!Under such control, many middle school students did not know about the big news that the United States bombed our embassy in Yugoslavia.Who bombed whom?Many students in our class didn't care about this matter until a few months later, and a lot of jokes were made.You see what our parents say.That's what my dear mother said: "When the sky falls, we are the ones to support it. When there is a shortage of food, we are also the ones who go to collect and beg. But the college entrance examination can only be done by yourself, we can't do it for you."If you don't concentrate on preparing for the college entrance examination, who are you sorry for? Under my mother's strict supervision, I was confined to my hut for another 12 hours at home.And that hut still made me feel very warm and comfortable, because this is my small world, and I can do all my joy and secret things in this 8-square-meter space.But after the third year of high school, my mother, who always thought I was dishonest, asked someone to dig a small hole above my wooden door.When I saw it, I sadly said to my mother: Don't you treat me as a prisoner for doing this! My mother said: If you can study and solve problems in the hut with peace of mind, are you afraid that others will come to watch you all the time? I had no words to answer, but tears welled up in my eyes. Since then, I can't escape my mother's stern and irresistible gaze in all my performances.And all my schedules are arranged by her: after dinner, drink a glass of milk, eat a piece of fruit, and then start doing homework. Take a 10-minute break at 22 o'clock, then go to review and do homework, and turn off the lights at 12 o'clock to sleep.It's like this on Monday, two, three, four, five.There is an extra morning and an afternoon of homework time in the arrangement on Saturday and weekend. Apart from eating two extra meals, there is nothing else. I was only with my mother. My mother divorced my dad when I was in elementary school. One of the reasons was that my father thought my mother lacked knowledge and cultivation. For this reason, my mother vowed to train me to be a knowledgeable and cultivated person.She cared about me more than herself, especially after I entered high school, except for going to work, she was serving me all the time, focusing on my college entrance examination.This is what I deeply feel, and because of my mother's hard work, I acquiesced to many things.But as I get older, I don't think she can dominate me in everything.Because I am also a human being, a real human being, a real young man. Our disputes often began to be about some small things. For example, when I was so sleepy and fell asleep, she would knock on the door of my hut outside.Every time she knocked on the door I was startled and shouted: Why can't you be softer? Mother said: Can you hear me softly? Her words made me feel helpless and angry. I have loved listening to music since I was a child, and the Walkman is a companion in my life. It is my loyal companion on the way to school, before going to bed, and even while reading.But my mother is particularly disgusted that I take it.I have been warned several times that I should not listen to it after the third year of high school.I promised on the surface, but it was difficult to make up my mind in action. The main thing is that there is still a little joy in my boring study life with the Walkman. I still can't get rid of the habit of wearing a Walkman while doing homework.Especially when you feel tired, it will be a little more comfortable to have beautiful singing in your ears.But my mother disagreed with me, insisting that I was deliberately distracting. Why are you wearing it again?Tell you, if you listen again, I will throw it downstairs! My mother didn't knock on the door, but walked up to me and yelled at me loudly. I had to put it away for now.Bored and exhausted, I leaned back on the table to do the endless papers.I don't know when, I feel that the two pairs of eyelids are constantly fighting.Looking up at the time, it was only 11 o'clock.I'm glad my mother didn't notice me taking a nap just now.In order to be able to persist in the last hour of homework, I subconsciously took out my beloved Walkman from under the pillow, wow, I feel so much better! This is Jimmy Lin's is this day!So while I was doing the questions, I hummed cheerfully: I would like to see how bright you are every day, and how you miss the Fa every day!Suddenly, my earphones stopped abruptly.It turned out that my mother stood behind me like a ghost.broken!I was about to put away the Walkman, but my nimble mother snatched it away. Before I could react, she opened the window... Don't throw it away—I knew what was going to happen, so I quickly got up and tried to get the Walkman back from my mother, but it was too late.I just heard a heavy crack on the cement floor downstairs, and that sound made me yell: What do you want?Don't you throw me down too!woo woo... I stomped my feet and cried sadly, and then rushed downstairs desperately... When I picked up the broken Walkman, my heart was also broken... I knelt at the place where the Walkman died I cried very sadly, which alarmed everyone in the building. In the end, it was my mother who forcibly dragged me back home. Since that incident, the relationship between me and my mother has undergone a qualitative change.Anything she asks me to do, I do against her.And she was also strange, as if she wanted me to do what she wanted to do that I didn't want to do or what I was disgusted with - our mother and daughter became deadly enemies. The time has come to the early summer of 1999, and this season should be said to be the most stressful time for our high school seniors.I don't know how Auntie Qiongyao arranged it. She didn't know anything about our students in mainland China, but at this juncture, she launched "Huan Zhu Ge Ge" on TV!Wow, when the TV show came on, the little swallow played by Zhao Wei drove all our female middle school students crazy!At that time, apart from reviewing for the college entrance examination, what excited us the most was the topic of Little Swallow.Little Swallow really makes us love love!Adults actually don't understand the hearts of our generation too much.It's not because our generation is too superficial, it's because of Xiao Yanzi's carefree and daring spirit that makes us middle school students who are deeply envious of learning and solving problems!可以说，小燕子精神，正是我们渴望而又得不到的、疾呼而又呼之不来的形象！小燕子的出现，让我们感到了一种解脱，一种希望，一种追求！ 大人们，你们现在明白我们为什么那么喜欢小燕子了吧！我从来不承认自己是追星族的一员，但我对小燕子的喜爱超过了所有同学，因为我感觉自己受到学校特别是家庭的压制太多太重了，所以我更加喜欢小燕子。从同学们的言谈中我虽然没看一次电视《还珠格格》，可感觉比看过还强烈几倍，仿佛小燕子就是我性格的化身，我追求的影子。我因此而向母亲友善地提出允许我看一次《还珠格格》，而且我还认认真真地写下一份保证书——保证以高考优良成绩来换得我的这样一次权利。 你别给我玩小孩把戏了。我怎么可能相信你这样的保证？看电视就会分心，尤其是我不愿让你看小燕子这样半疯半痴的丫头，浅薄得不能再浅薄了。我正准备给电视台写信呢，他们放这种节目到底是什么意图啊？引导孩子们都去学些啥呀？Really!母亲好像对小燕子早有一肚子气。真倒霉，我算是哪一壶不开就专门提哪一壶。 那天是星期天，母亲说她单位里要加班，她把饭菜一切准备好后，吩咐我说：老老实实在家做作业，什么事都甭想。我一听高兴得心都快要跳出来了：这下总算有机会目睹小燕子的风采了！ 哎，你去上班吧。我保证在家好好做作业，今天的作业比任何一天都多！我特意这么说，其实后来想想这话等于是此地无银三百两。 母亲用特殊的眼光重重地看了我一眼，再没说什么便出了门。万岁——我按捺住激动万分的心，估计母亲已经下到楼下时，便在屋里大声欢呼了起来。赶紧，先打开电视布罩，然后接上电源……呀，楼梯上突然传来熟悉的脚步声坏了坏了，母亲返回来了。我赶紧神速将电线拔掉，又将电视机罩重新恢复原状，然后再飞步回到自己的小屋拿起书本——是母亲进门了，是她在电视机那儿停下了脚步，然后在电视机上扒拉了一下，检査看看有没有我动过的迹象——其实我根本没有回过身，眼睛盯在书本上，可我的心告诉了我感觉到的母亲在外屋所做的哪怕是最细微的每一个动作，因为我的心怦怦跳得不能再快了！ 母亲终于走了，屋里恢复了平静，只有我的心与墙上的挂钟在跳动。我像经历了一次惊心动魄的惊险战斗一样，忍不住自己对着镜子笑了起来。 我知道母亲的精明之处，所以第二次想打开电视时就有意等待了一段时间。我知道时间证明这回母亲真的去单位上班了。 解放了——我伸伸懒腰，极为自在地从小屋走出，毫无顾忌地轻步走到电视机前，掀开布罩，插上电源，点动电视上的按钮……嗯，奇怪，怎么电视没有图像？ 我急了，左看右看，电源、天线都是好的呀！是坏了？不对，早上还听到母亲在看天气预报呢！How is this going?我毕竞是学过不少物理知识的高中生，在检查过程中发现了一个叫我气得直咬牙的事：母亲把连接电源的那个双向插头中的其中一根拔掉了！ 我的妈呀，你这是干什么嘛！那是个无法用其他东西可以替代的玩艺。面对母亲的聪明和眼前的无奈，我狠狠敲了敲电视，真的一个人在屋里哭了起来——同学们在前一天就告诉我此时此刻正是《还珠格格》重播的时间呀！ 我真是欲哭无泪地不知如何解决我想看一眼小燕子的强烈愿望。正在这时，楼道里不知谁家的门嘎吱打开后，传来电视《还珠格格》的声音：小燕子！小燕子！——那陌生而熟悉的声音直灌我的耳朵，可很快声音消失了……是出来倒垃圾的邻居把门拉上了。然而小燕子的声音太剌激我了。在家惴惴不安的我终于想了个办法：到邻居家看一眼小燕子！ 以什么法子敲开邻居家的门呢？对，就说我家电插头坏了，借把钳子什么的。 我撒谎敲开邻居门时，心头好不激动，但表面上装出十分镇静的样子。好客的邻居哪想得到这是我一手策划的阴谋，当我显得对他们正在看的《还珠格格》表示也愿意看一眼时，他们全家人便热情地邀我坐下一起看。接下去的时间简直可以用大大过瘾四个字来形容了。在这个家庭里，小燕子不仅吸引了与我差不多大的—个女孩子，也吸引了她的父母和姥姥，我真羡慕他们全家。而且让我想象不到的是他们在看完当天重播的两集还珠格格后，又听我说从没有看过以前的还珠格格节目时，慷慨地拿出了录制好的两盘录像带又放了给我看…… 我完全沉浸在对小燕子的狂热之中，当发现邻居家正要吃饭时，才想起是该我离开的时候了。对不起，打扰你们好长时间。Thanks!我不好意思地起身告别，三步两步地回到楼上的家。 当我用钥匙打开防盗门时，发现门是开着时，心幕然紧张起来：坏了，妈已经回家了！ 你到哪儿去了？母亲早已站在小厅中央，等候我进门审问。 没、没到哪儿……去楼下邻居家借钳子去了。我恨自己语无伦次。 借钳子？那钳子呢？ 我傻了，发现到人家里半天什么也没做嘛，邻居对我借钳子的事怎么也没提醒一声呀！Really. 你那点花花小肚肠，还想瞒我？母亲早已气不打一处来，我知道你不等我出门，就急着想偷看电视！哼，真有本事，自己家的电视不会捣鼓，还想到邻居家借钳子来！去呀，把钳子借来呀！ 我知道是你存心把插头搞坏的。我觉得不能不说，尤其是想到邻居家的那种温馨快乐情景，而我与母亲之间的不平等，心中更是气儿不打一处来。 知道了你还跑到人家家里去看？难道你永远管不住自己的偷懒？母亲又开始没头没脑地骂起来，她骂人时的那种尖嗓音最让我感到刺耳，而这一天我感到的不仅仅是刺耳，是刺心，深深地刺着我的心！ 也许是积压在心头的怨愤太多太久，我自己都没有想到我的声音会大得甚至有些歇斯底里：我不偷懒！我从来没有偷懒过——母亲大概没有想到我会如此反抗，她一愣后，火就更大了，使出她认为做大人惟一能制服儿女的手段——抄起一把铁棍朝我砸来……当时我真的惊恐得脑子一片空白，因为我想象不出我的亲生母亲会用铁棍向她惟一的女儿砸来！ 我想我是被求生的本能唤醒了！在我退至不能退却的地方，我的手下意识地抄起放在桌上的一把菜刀并且高高举在空中…… 母亲惊呆了：你……你想杀你妈呀？ 我就想杀死你。我的声音几乎使全楼的人都听到了，于是我家的房子外传来无数猛烈的敲门声。 就在这一夜，我离家出走了，什么都没带，便离开了家、离开了母亲，一个人在我们小城的一条河边走了5个多小时，在这阴兩绵绵的5个多小时里，我呼天不应，唤地无声，于是便无数次想向湍急的河水中跳去…那是个我一生无法忘却的黑夜。当现在我清醒后再回想起那一夜的事时，我庆幸自己那一夜没有做两件亊：一件是我没有留在家里，假如真的留在家里，我会难以控制地产生杀毋之心，二是那5小时的漫漫长夜，使我有机会渐渐梳理我并不成熟的心路。你们一定很想知道我以后的情况。我可以告诉你们：去年我考大学的机会失去了，但我和母亲都不感到后悔，因为我们母女和解了。后来母亲在我出走几个月回家后，重新找了一个中学，我和母亲对今年我考大学都充满了信心。回想起过去的那段难忘的经历，我只想对所有的家长们说一句话，那就是请在严格要求您的孩子努力学习时，不要忘了给予他们起码的一点自由，这样不仅不会影响他们的高考成绩，相反有可能获得预想不到的效果。 我认为这绝对没错。 像上面这位女学生的独白，我在采访中至少听过十几人次，他们有的仍然在学校读高三，有的是已经读完高三，或者进了大学，或者被挡在了大学的门外。关于他们曾经经受和正在经受的那些因家长和学校给予他们的种种高考压力的故事，实在可以专写一部厚厚的书，而且这样的故事不用任何修饰，都是一份份血淋淋的控诉书，简直令人难以想象。因为在他们年幼的心灵深处。那些深仇大恨的对象不是别人，正是每天呵护他们的父母。在从这些胸怀深仇大恨的孩子口中，我听得最多的是他们在呐喊要求给予他们最基本的自由空间和最基本的尊重与权利。 “我们虽然是小孩，但我们也是人，不可能因为学习或者高考，家长们就可以剥夺我们作为人生存在这个世界上的最基本的东西。我们要求的权利，是我们作为新世纪一代的中国青年人应有的那种既严格要求，又能体现我们健康快乐与自由的个性的权利。”一位现在在北京著名学府学法律专业的原高三生如是说。 关于这一概念，我问过不少家长，但他们在没有前提下的回答显得很空泛，可真正接觖到自己子女的实际情况时，其回答真让我感到吃惊。 “孩子的权利必须建立在一种约束的条件下，比如他们应该完成学校和家庭对他们的基本要求的前提下，才能谈论此事。”这是一位在大学当人文教授的学者的回答。原因是他的儿子也是位不安分守己的逃学生。年轻的教授是在恢复高考后圆大学梦的老三届生，他的体会非常深切：“我的结论是，在中国尤其是现在或今后相当长的一段时间里，没有高学历，就意味着你失去社会对你的尊重与选择。设想一下，一个没有高学历的人，你想让社会来重用你，那除非在你通过无数次、无数年的艰苦拼搏后才有可能，而有高学历者可以在走出校门时就获得社会所给予你的这种机会。难道我们作为家长的，有谁真心让自己的儿女在无尽期的努力与等待中由社会来承认和选择他吗？不会。那样的代价不仅仅是时间和金钱的问题，而是整个时代与民族所不允许的。” 不能不说这位高谈阔论的学者说的没有道理，但谁又能为我们的孩子想一想呢？ “剥夺了权利，剥夺了自由，剥夺了最基本的生存方式，我们不就成一种机器？一种让家长、让学校、让一个用先前的特种模式早已为我们设计好的社会来造就我们未来的一代吗？这就是你们大人们天天说的时代进步、社会发展吗？再说，当我们一个个变成考试机器后，我们的快乐、我们的创造、我们的幻想、我们的灵智、还有我们的爱情都被泯灭后，这个世界、这个时代还有什么是可以吸引我们生命活力的源泉？死吧一做一具还有心桃的僵尸吧，阿门。” 学生们这样告诉我。而我也正想用实例来回答不少家长和老师在这一问题上的某些固执。 实例之一：《贵阳都市报》刊发的一位中学生 ◆留给父母的遗书： 敬爱（的）爸妈： 我已不存在，请不要悲伤。我很对不起你们，请原谅。 我知道你们把我养这么大很辛苦。但是呢，我又没有报答过你们。我的成绩从来没好过，我也不知道为什么。我也不知道从什么时候我有想死的念头，我曾经有过几次想死，但是我还是不愿意过早地死去，但是这一次，我已经彻底地绝望，并不是什么原因，而是我己感到，我是一个废物，样样不如别人。而且由于没有交成绩册和补课本，（老师）没有（让我）报到，也没有（发给我）课本，今天我们班上来了个新生，侯老师对他讲：“后面的同学基本上都是差生……”我想，我已被老师列入差生行列了。我也感到很绝望。下午，我去问老师，星期一交行不行？据同学说，他假期作业有两道数学题没做（没有通过小组检查），老师说：“不行，今天不交星期一就不准上课。”我真的绝望了。 我也想过，我一死会给你们带来什么呢？有坏处、有好处，我一死，会给你们精神上加了不少压力，好处是我一死，你们可以节约一大笔钱，你们可以不用愁我的开支，你们可以尽情地游玩，坐飞机、坐火车、坐轮船，而不用为我担心。我死了，也不要传开来。因为会带来别人所讲的闲话，使你们很不好。如果真的很想我，便给我写信，你们尽情地玩乐吧，你们也不要想不开，存折密码是1122。来生再见。 Li Yuan 97．2．20 10：17 另加一句：妈妈，不要责怪爸爸，爸爸也不要责怪妈妈。 remember. 据贵阳的市民讲，李渊死后八天，报上刊出了这封遗书，几乎所有的贵阳人都为如此懂事的小李渊惋惜和痛心。李渊是位中学生，他的遗书中非常清楚地表明他的死因并不复杂，但却令人深思。那个老师简单而又残酷的一句“差生”和一个“不交作业就不让上课”，使早已对死读书和以分数论优劣而绝望的小李渊产生了想死的念头。而李渊对死所表现的那种冷静和死之前周到地为父母考虑的那种成熟，更使我们为失去这样的好孩子而痛惜万分！ 我们从遗书中不难看出，虽然李渊只是个中学生，但他有思考和处事的成熟的一面。同样，在他的眼里，人生尽兴地玩乐是最大的难得、最大的幸运、最大的幸福——他因此用一句听起来十分幼稚却无比真诚的“你们尽情地玩乐”来祝福自己的父母。读到这里，我们都能感到中国的孩子们因为上学而受到的心灵创伤是何等的严重！ 实例之二：见《北京晚报》1999年1月26日报道（记者张鹏） ◆高三生杀死亲生母亲 本报讯：一个十九岁的中学高三生在没有深仇大恨和严重矛盾的情况下，竟然用极其残忍的手段将自己的亲生母亲杀死后碎尸抛入湖中。昨天下午在北京第一中级人民法院开庭审理的朱宇故意杀人案带给人们深深的思考。 在昨天下午的庭审中，旁听席上座无虚席，被告人朱宇被带上庭后，人们发现他还是一个脸上显露着稚气的男孩，然而当他用平静的口吻叙述所做的一切时，人们被深深震惊了。 今年十九岁的朱宇正在上中学，面临着高考，他的家庭物质生活优裕，父母都受过高等教育，对他寄予了厚望。然而去年3月，朱宇萌生了杀母的恶念。朱宇说他对母亲的不满是从1996年开始的，当时他父亲因肝病住院，后来终因病重去世，他认为父亲的病本来是可以救治的，但母亲怕花钱多没用好药，所以父亲才死。父亲死后，母亲与一个男人来往密切：朱宇认为母亲就是为了这个男人而不去救父亲，平时因朱宇的母亲对他学习管得很严，母子俩经常争吵。去年3月25日，朱宇交女朋友被母亲反对，两人又爆发了一场争吵，朱宇在这一天起了杀心。 朱宇找到同学崔楠，把杀母亲的想法告诉了他，让他帮助一起干。由于两人是好朋友，崔楠同意了。于是两人开始了周密的准备工作，朱宇翻阅了一些案例资料和有关人体生理解剖方面的书籍，接着买了一瓶镇定剂和一盒感冒冲剂。3月28日中午，朱宇的母亲匆匆从外面赶回家中，不顾自己感冒，准备帮助儿子温习政治，准备考试。朱字佯装关心母亲，就去冲了一杯感冒冲剂，他把碾碎的镇定药放在冲剂里，母亲喝了药，不一会感到很困，就进屋睡了。朱宇在屋外耐心等了一个多小时，直到母亲睡得完全没有知觉了，他和崔楠用早已准备好的尼龙绳猛勒母亲的脖子，又割开了她腕上的动脉，杀死了亲生母亲。 朱宇和崔楠将他母亲的尸体肢解了，第二天早上抛入一公园湖中。然后朱宇到派出所报案说他母亲失踪了。接着他找人打开了母亲放在家中的保险柜，拿出一张八万元的存单，兑换了现金，给自己买了BP机、手机等物，并且筹备着用这笔钱开一家咖啡厅，直到去年4月16日，他被公安机关怀疑并拘捕。 在庭审中，北京金桥律师事务所的何桂深律师担任朱宇的辩护人，他认为由于父亲过世，高考紧张，和家长缺乏交流，感受不到家庭温暖等原因，朱宇实际上已经形成了严重的人格障碍，使思维意识逐渐偏离了现实，导致了他杀母的罪行。 朱宇的事同样引起了北京市广大市民的强烈反映，《北京晚报》在披露此事的那几天里电话不断，因为法庭审理此案时正值当年高考生紧张复习的最紧要关头。据值班编辑介绍，市民们的来电中，除了一部分人觉得朱宇这样连亲生母亲都要如此残忍地杀害，且杀害之后又采用恶毒的手段，必须严刑制裁外，很多人指出：朱宇杀母的根源正是朱宇的母亲太看重和逼迫儿子的高考学习。有位与朱宇同时正准备参加当年高考的学生在电话里对编辑说，像朱宇杀亲生父母的心他们同学中不少人都有。“因为大人们为了让我们考上大学，简直把我们当作牲畜一样对待，我就被父亲用皮带抽过好几回。当父亲在空中挥动皮鞭抽在我身上的时候，我真想拿起刀砍断他的手，并且在他知疼的那一刻再问他一声：我是不是你的亲生骨肉？如果是，你就不应该对我这样狠毒；如果不是，那你这样打我，我就可以杀死你，公安局找我算账时我不怕，因为我是在自卫……”一位高三同学用亲身的感受谈了自己对朱宇事件的看法。 在写到朱宇这件事时，朱宇这位只有十九岁的高中生，已受到了法律的严厉制裁。我与审理朱宇一案的法官和熟悉他的人进行了交谈，问他们朱宇杀母与他母亲对他的高考期望值太高，有没有直接和必然的联系。法官的回答非常肯定，因为朱宇自己“悔悟”时曾谈到，他母亲平时工作比较忙，对他的要求只有一个，就是学习要好。母亲在朱宇的父亲死后，有自己的生活打算，今后不可能跟儿子过一辈子。但作为对前夫的一个交待，儿子必须考上大学，也只有儿子考上大学，她才能既对得起死去的丈夫，也好重新安排自己后半生的生活，因此她对朱宇上大学的事逼得特别紧，甚至有种非考上不可的强烈和迫切的愿望。邻居介绍，朱宇从小聪明，脑子反应快，学习也不错，但因为他在交女朋友后成绩有所下降，他母亲就大发雷霆，不是采取正确的引导，而是逼得更紧，不许他放学后随便乱跑，星期天也不能随便出家门。朱宇认为，母亲这样对待自己，如果一旦高考不能录取，他不就成了母亲生活中永远的绊脚石了吗？母亲不就会采取更严厉的手段对付自己吗？与其母亲不要我活，还不如我先不让她活。就这样，在不懂法的前提下，朱宇便有了常人不可理喻的极端行为。 值得反思的是在朱宇的这起恶性案件中，还有一个凶犯是朱宇的同学崔楠。从案件的整个过程中，崔楠的行为也是让人不可思议。这位因为是朱宇的好朋友而参与了凶杀的高中生，除了哥们义气外，办案人员对他审讯时曾经问过他难道对参与同学杀母的严重危害性自己一点也不知道？崔楠道出过自己的心里话，他起初当然也害怕过，也动摇过，可当他问朱宇为什么杀母亲时，朱宇告诉他就因为母亲非要他考上大学，逼得他学习太紧，紧得简直不当是人这些话后，崔楠听后大有同感：日他妈的，天下父母一般黑。崔楠也在经历高考前的折磨和种种压力，正是朱宇的动机和想法使崔楠心底里仇视高考的那份不满得以以某种方式泄愤，于是也跟着当了回毁灭他宝贵一生的刽子手。 这实在是高考指挥棒下的人间悲剧。据有人调査证明，每年在高考前的半年左右时间里，全国约有近万人的应届高中生最后是被父母逼得离家出走，或与父母发生严重冲突致使造成伤害罪的不下百例（或者家长将儿女致伤致亡，或儿女忍受不了父母的高压而伤害父母。）如果加上中学和小学升学过程中造成的家庭成员间的相互伤害案件，那至少相当于每年都有近五万人永远地丧失了学习的机会，沦为无用之人…… this is the truth.活生生的严酷现实。 这活生生的严酷现实的制造者不是别人，恰恰就是那些期望儿女成龙成凤的父母亲。 写到这里，不知为什么，我的脑海里突然冒出一个可怕的人名，他就是黑帮恶縻张君。杀人恶魔张君可以说是最没有人性的一个家伙，死于他手下的无辜者不下几十个，就是这样一位杀人不眨眼的刽子手，在他即将走上断头台前却也道出了一段颇为动情的辛酸往事： 小时候，我家里太穷，日子过得很苦。我家有六姊妹，五个姐姐，同母不同父。姐姐她们出嫁后，也没嫁到富人家。家里还是穷，从小学到初中，我连白布做的新衣服也没穿过一次，全是穿姐姐她们穿下得的破烂货。后来我母亲生了病，一直无钱治，就去投靠在长沙城里的叔叔。在叔叔家，母亲坐了一下凳子，婶婶就马上过来用酒精擦了又擦。母亲受了侮辱，很伤心。后来我有枪之后就很想杀了婶婶，但又觉得是过去的小事，才放过了她。我母亲很苦，我很想让母亲幸福。14岁那年，我存了8毛钱，到街上买了一小块肉，因此給母亲蜣了一碗汤。母亲脸上露出了微笑，叫我好好读书，勤劳种地，自食其力。谁知这是母亲給我最后的遣言，第二天早晨她就上吊自尽了……母亲的死，使我失去了爱，失去了温暖，周围变得一片冷酷和苍凉。 读这段情真意切的话，谁能想象他竟出自一个杀人狂之口？张君的变态其实有其深刻的社会原因和心理因素。早在17世纪时，英国一位知名教育家约翰洛克先生曾说过一句名言：再有爱心的家长，即使他们的棍棒出于严管，可最后的结果总会适得其反。这句话其实并不深奥，但恰恰补充了中国传统教子秘方的后半部分的经验。我们中国也有一句老话，叫做严师出高徒，棍棒底下出状元。虽然无数经典式的例子可以证明中国的这两句老话能继续传世几千年，但其实它比英国教育家的教子方法少了一半内容，而正是这缺少的一半内容，使我们中国的孩子不知多受多少罪！ 而孩子们多受些罪其实并不可怕，可怕的是像徐力、朱宇这样的孩子他们一旦在父母亲的强制专横下失去心理平衡时，后果便不堪设想。从已获知的材料看，像徐力和朱宇原先都不是坏孩子