Chapter 29 The way back home

This night next year may be the anniversary of my death.As the number of aftershocks increased, the accumulation of debris on my body became thicker and thicker, and it became more and more difficult to breathe.This is one of the most difficult nights of my life, and my persistence has reached the limit. Every time I pass by the Longhua Funeral Parlor near my home, I feel horrified, and sometimes I am particularly vulnerable.I once interviewed an undertaker and watched him put a body into a cremator.To be honest, I can't accept cremation. I always feel that this is a very inhumane thing. When a person dies, he should be dressed neatly, put in a coffin, and buried in the ground for peace.

This seems to have nothing to do with the old or new concept, but respect for the dead. I often solemnly say to my wife: "If I die, you must transport my body back to my hometown and bury it next to my grandma's grave." She smiled, "Old-fashioned, who wants to be buried now!" I said seriously: "Do you remember what I just said?" Seeing my serious look, he put away his smile and nodded. Now it seems that it is impossible for my body to be buried in my hometown. This place is so far away from my hometown, and it is still a question whether my body can be completely excavated from the ruins.It seems that I am destined to be a lonely ghost wandering in a foreign land.

Over the years, in my real life, I have often been oppressed by materialistic desires, and often hurt my soul for some trivial things. With dirty things, my stinky skin can no longer return to the age of innocence. I think my soul and body have already betrayed my hometown. I am getting farther and farther away from the ideal-filled teenager who fled my hometown, and also farther and farther away from the ideal that once touched me. The scenery of the countryside in western Fujian was so gloomy in front of my eyes, but it made me so sad.That was the place I escaped from, but now it is the place I most want to return to.In the vast mountains of my hometown, are there still turtledoves flying by?Is there still fragrance of rice flowers in the fields?Is the water in the Tingjiang River still so clear, or is it flooding? ... No matter what, you are my hometown, the hometown where I want to be transported back to be buried after I die.Those bitter weeds blooming freely in the wild may still remember my appearance.In the past, every year during Qingming, I would pick bunches of bitter grass flowers and put them in front of the graves of deceased relatives.It is the most ordinary flower in the village, so ordinary that it doesn't even have a decent name, it grows freely in the wild, and it is endless.Bitter grass flowers are the image of my hometown folks.

At this time, when I think of those simple folks, I will suddenly feel moved and sentimental. I found out that I'm such a sentimental person instead of a grumpy wrestler. The yellow-haired granny must be ninety years old. I don’t know how she is now. I used to call home and ask my mother about her condition. Thinking about it, I haven’t heard from her for a long time. When I’m old, it’s like An oil lamp that is about to go out.In those famine years, the yellow-haired mother-in-law would secretly stuff a handful of dried sweet potatoes into my schoolbag, and softly say to me: "My child, take it, and eat when you are hungry. You are so hungry!"

There is also Yang Xiu’s mother-in-law, who has been alone all her life. She is over 70 years old and still works in the fields by herself. In my eyes, she always wears patched clothes, and there is always a smile on her old face like pine bark. She is so tolerant of everything. , as long as there is a mouthful of food in life, it is enough, and that mouthful of food is also obtained through one's own labor. Is my old uncle Li Bing still working as a carpenter?Thinking about it, he was over eighty years old, and when he returned to his hometown two years ago, he was seen making wooden barrels at home.He brought up his sons, and after marrying them wives and building a new house, he separated the family from them and lived with his wife. He didn't want support from his sons, he said he could support himself.He is one of the most famous carpenters in his hometown, and his wooden barrels, pots, pots, lids, wooden spoons and other household items are famous far and wide.He is short, and people in the village call him "Short Bing"; he is deaf, and he can only be heard by shouting at him, and he himself speaks very loudly.Before I was admitted to university, my father asked me to learn how to be a carpenter with him. My father said that if you have a craft, you can earn a living no matter what.But after studying for a few days, I left Uncle Li Bing.Except for his son, he never took any other apprentices in his life. He was afraid that my father would scold him, so he said to my father: "It's not that I don't want to teach him, and it's not that he can't bear hardships. His heart is not here, but his heart is big. !” Uncle Li Bing, an honest craftsman like my father, is one of the few people who can see through my heart.When I left him, he only said this sentence to me: "If you do things alone, you must be specialized in everything, otherwise you will achieve nothing." Now, no one in our village does small carpentry anymore. The last persistent cooper, the wooden barrels he hooped out are so genuine and durable.In the end, he will also be scattered in the wind of his hometown, together with his superb craftsmanship...

Except for my third brother Li Xilin who is still in the army, the other brothers and sisters are still in their hometown.Our brothers have never blushed or quarreled since we were young.When I left my hometown, my brothers and sisters were still young, they followed me and sent me to the car.The eldest brother, Li Xifeng, was admitted to university, returned to his hometown and became a middle school teacher, and is now the principal of a middle school.He has a better opportunity for development, but because of me, the hometown he stayed in, I have always been ashamed of him.That year, a school in the economically developed coastal area hired him with a high salary, so he discussed with me, and I stopped him. I said, I am outside, and the third brother is also outside, and the younger brother has no ability. What about mother?He obeyed my words and stayed in his hometown just to take better care of his parents so that I would not have any worries.

My younger brother Li Haijun was still a child when I left home as a soldier, and his nose was still running after me.My little brother didn't go to school when he was a child, and played with the neighbor's children all day long.Later, he didn't go to school, and raised a large flock of ducks when he was very young. At most, he raised more than two hundred ducks.I thought he would be "Duck Commander" all his life.We also have people who live by raising ducks all their lives.Raising ducks is also a very hard work. The ducks have to be driven to the fields and rivers to stock them all year round.Later, when the younger brother was a little older, his parents sent him to learn how to cook.As a result, he learned all the chores in the kitchen, but he didn't learn the real skills of cooking. The reason is that his master didn't teach him carefully, but used him as a small worker.One year, I came home from the army to visit relatives and found that my younger brother kept a lot of pigeons.I thought my younger brother had changed his career to raising pigeons.It was only later that I realized that the pigeon had flown here by itself.One day, a pigeon flew over to our house. The pigeon was injured. My younger brother took the pigeon and healed the injury.The younger brother also built a pigeon house for the pigeons under the eaves upstairs.After the little brother flew away once, he thought that it would not fly back.As a result, the next day, the pigeon not only flew back, but also brought a few pigeons back.Many more pigeons came later... Unfortunately, after a big flood in 1996, the pigeons all flew away and never came back.The younger brother was depressed for a long time.Now, the younger brother farms and raises pigs for a living.Thinking about it, it is a pity that when my younger brother got married, I didn't go back to attend his wedding.Last year, my younger sister-in-law gave birth to a daughter, who was two months older than Li Xiaobai. I named her after me, but unfortunately I will never see her again.There is also my elder brother’s son, Li Hao, who is very close to me and always likes to call me. I promised to give him a laptop. It seems that this promise will never be fulfilled.

Fate is always playing tricks on the third brother Li Xilin. When he was a child, he could not speak until he was almost four years old. We all thought he would become a mute.I will never forget his clear and hopeless eyes when I was a child.I took care of him as much as possible, and sometimes I took him to watch outdoor movies far away. When he came back, he dozed off, so I carried him home.When he was snoring softly on my back, I wished he would talk when he woke up.After he went to school, his academic performance has been very good. After graduating from elementary school, he was admitted to the best key middle school in the county to study. go to college.If he wanted to be strong, he quietly left his hometown, and he didn't know where he went. He heard people say that he traveled a lot, worked as a coolie, and worked in commercials... He must have suffered a lot in those years, but he didn't want to. Tell me he's like a father, taciturn and keeps everything in his stomach.Later, after I contacted him, I let him join the army.After arriving in the army, he did a good job, because the article was well written, the army leader asked him to do news work, and he was transferred to the volunteer army. The documents will not be directly raised among the volunteers in the future...

There is also my uncle Li Wenduo, who has been unable to move after a stroke. I don’t know why disasters always happen to kind and hardworking people... and my cousin Li Jinbo, who has been looking forward to me for many years The sight makes me sad... ... My hometown is a dream of mine, so many specific scenes and specific people gradually blurred. When I was very young, I saw a foreign movie and forgot the name of the movie.But I still remember that after a hero died, his comrades carried the coffin with his body all the way back to my hometown... How I wished that after my death, someone would carry my coffin across thousands of rivers and mountains and return to my hometown.

That's just my fantasy, a fantasy that will never come true. I'm just a lonely ghost wandering in a foreign land. Maybe only my grandmother can bring my soul back to my hometown. But the road back home is so long.