Chapter 42 Chapter 40 Fear

I slowed down when I heard voices.I'm not too close to the hospital to hear the doctor's voice, and the others are on their way back.Clinging to the rock wall, I crawled forward in absolute silence, panting from the running.I put my hand over my mouth to muffle the gasp. "Why do we keep doing this?" someone complained. I don't know whose voice it is, it's someone I don't know very well.Maybe Violetta?There was a dejected tone to the voice, the same one I'd heard before, which eliminated the possibility that I was imagining it. "The doctor didn't want to do it, it was Jared's idea this time."

I'm sure it's Geoffrey who's speaking now, though his voice is distorted a bit, because he's suppressing his disgust.Geoffrey and Trudy participated in the heist together, and there is no doubt that they do everything together. "I think he is the biggest obstacle in this matter." That was Travis, I guessed. "He's more motivated now," Jeffrey replied.His voice was calm, but I could tell he was angry about something. I crouched in a rock crevice as they walked half an inch in front of me.I held my breath and remained motionless. "I think it's disgusting," Violetta grunted, "disgusting and never going to work."

They walked slowly, their steps heavy with disappointment. No one responded to her, and no one spoke again within earshot.I stayed where I was until the sound of their footsteps faded away, but I couldn't wait for the sound to die down completely, Ian might already be following me. I climbed forward as fast as I could, and only resumed trotting when I was sure it was safe. At the bend in the tunnel ahead, I saw the faint morning light pouring down, and I switched to a quieter stride that still kept me going fast.I knew that once I rounded this gently curved bend, I would see the doorway leading to the doctor's domain.I walked along the curve and the light got brighter and brighter.

I move cautiously now, tiptoeing every step.The surrounding area was exceptionally quiet.For a moment, I even wondered if I had made a mistake, there was no one here.Then, when the cratered entrance of the cave came into view, and a ray of white sunlight hit the opposite wall, I could hear a quiet sobbing. I tiptoed to the edge of the hole and stopped to listen. The crying continued, and the crying was accompanied by another sound, a soft and rhythmic thud. "Okay, okay," it was Jeb, his voice cracked, "Okay, okay, Doctor, don't push too hard." Silent footsteps moved in the room, more than one person.There was a rustling of cloth, some sort of rubbing sound that reminded me of washing.

There was also a smell that didn't belong here.It's weird. Not quite a metallic smell, but not like anything else either.I'm not familiar with the smell - I'm sure I've never smelled it before - but I have an eerie feeling that I should be. I was too scared to go around the bend. What's the worst thing they could do to us?Mel pointed it out to me, forcing us to leave. you are right. If that's what I fear most about humans now, it's a very different story. I took a deep breath—noticing the strange, strange smell again—and walked into the hospital against the edge of the rock.

Nobody noticed me. The doctor knelt on the floor, covering his face with his hands, his shoulders heaving, and Jeb bent down and patted him on the back. Jared and Kyle were placing a crude stretcher next to an operating table in the center of the room.Jared's face is grim and unforgiving - he wears a mask again when he's outside. The operating table is not empty, it always has been.Something hidden under the dark green blanket filled both beds.Long, irregularly shaped, with familiar curves and angles, the doctor's homemade table was placed in front of these operating tables, where the light was brightest.The table gleamed with silver—glossy scalpels and all sorts of obsolete medical paraphernalia I couldn't name.

Even more dazzling than these were other silvery things. On the table lay lengths of broken and bent glitter. Tiny silver fibers were pulled out and scattered everywhere. The table, blankets, and walls were all stained with silvery liquid. The scream broke the silence in the room, and the whole room was shattered into pieces.It whirled and wobbled around me, and I couldn't find the exit.The walls, the silver-spotted walls, rose sharply, blocking my path no matter where I turned. Someone called my name, but I couldn't make out whose voice it was.The screaming was so loud it hurt my head.The stone wall that secreted a silvery liquid hit me, and I fell to the ground, where a pair of strong hands supported me.

"Doctor, help!" "What's up with her?" "It passed out?" "What did she see?" "Nothing—nothing, the body is covered!" lie!Those bodies were exposed and horribly twisted into disgusting shapes, lying across the brightly lit table.The body was cut off, dismembered, bent, and torn into grotesque and ugly pieces. I clearly saw the remaining tentacles attached to the severed front half of a larva. It was just a larva!a baby!It was cut into pieces, and the pieces were littered on the table stained with my own blood. My stomach rolled like a spinning wall, acid rushing up my throat.

"Xiaoman? Can you hear me?" "Is she sane?" "I think she's going to throw up." That last sentence was true, those strong hands cradled my head as the acid in my stomach blew up. "What should we do now, Doctor?" "Catch her—don't let her hurt herself." Coughing and writhing, trying to get away, I cleared my throat. "Let me go!" I finally struggled to make my voice, my words were slurred, "Get away from me! Get away! You are demons, sadists!" Again I fell silent, screamed, and struggled to free the arms that held me.

"Calm down, Man! Shush—it's okay!" It was Jared's voice.The first time, even Jared didn't work. "Demon!" I yelled at him. "She's hysterical," the doctor told him. "Hold on." Suddenly I was slapped across the face, hard and stinging. There was a gasp from far away from the chaotic crowd around me. "What are you doing?" Ian growled. "Ian, it's probably hysterical, and the doctor is trying to wake it up." My ears were buzzing, but not from the slap.It was the smell—the smell of silver blood dripping from the walls—the smell of soul blood.The room wrapped itself around me like a living thing, the light bending into eerie patterns, taking the shape of monsters from my past life.The vulture spread its wings, and the beast with sharp claws attacked my face with its huge pincers. The doctor smiled and stretched out his hand to me, his fingertips dripping with silver liquid.

I was not in a coma for a long time, and it must have been only a few seconds before I woke up.My mind is so clear, I wish I could have been unconscious longer. I was rocking back and forth, it was too dark to see anything.Fortunately, the horrible smell dissipated, and the stale, damp air in the cave smelled like perfume. That feeling of being held up and hugged was familiar, and Ian carried me around a lot in the first week after Kyle hurt me. "Looks like she already guessed what we're doing, maybe I'm doing something wrong," Jared whispered. "Do you think it's just like that?" Ian's stern voice sounded in the quiet tunnel. "Her fear is because the doctor is trying to get other souls out. Because she is afraid of herself?" Jared was silent for a while: "You don't think so?" Ian's voice came from deep in his throat: "No, I don't think so. Although she hates it as much as I do, you will bring back more victims to the doctor, send them back now! Although she thinks like me Disgusting, but that's not why she's sad. How can you be so ignorant? Can't you imagine what it all looks like to her?" "I know we covered those bodies beforehand—" "Not those bodies, Jared. Oh, I'm sure Man would be saddened by human corpses - she's so gentle, and violence and death aren't part of the world she usually lives in, but you think about that table what it means to her." He thought for a while: "Oh." "Yes, if you or I walked in and saw human vivisection, severed limbs, and blood splattering, the sight would be more terrifying to her than it would be to us. We've all seen this before Everything—even before Soul Invasion, at least seen in horror movies, I bet she'd never seen anything like it in all her lived lives." I felt sick again, and his words brought back memories.That sight, that smell. "Let me go," I said softly, "let me down." "I didn't mean to wake you up, I'm sorry." That last sentence is full of affection, not just an apology for waking me up. "Let me go." "You are not in good health, I will take you to your room." "No, let me down now." "Xiao Man" "Now!" I said aloud.Kicking his legs while breaking free from Ian's chest.Surprised by my violent resistance, he let go of my hand and I dropped to the floor, bent over. I immediately stood up and started running. "Xiaoman!" "let her go!" "Don't touch me! Xiaoman, come back!" They seemed to be fighting behind me, but I didn't slow down.Of course they were fighting, they were human and violence was a pleasure to them. I went back to where the light was, and I didn't stop.I ran as hard as I could, through the empty cave, without seeing a single demon over there.I can feel them watching me, but I don't care. I don't care where I go, as long as it's somewhere I can be alone.I avoided the tunnels with people around me and ran into the first one that was empty. It's the east tunnel, and this is the second time I've gone through this tunnel today.Last time in joy, this time in fear.It's hard to remember what it was like this afternoon knowing the marauders came home, and now everything is dark and eerie, including their return, and the stones look sinister. But this road is the right choice, no one needs to come here, the tunnel is empty. I ran to the farthest end of the tunnel, into the empty recreation room in the dark.Did I really play football with them just now?Believing the smiles on their faces, without seeing the heart of the beast beneath the smiles, I moved forward until I stumbled in the dim fountain, my ankles submerged in the greasy water.I stepped back, opened my hands, and looked for the wall.I found a rough ledge—sharp to the touch—and ducked into a recess under the ledge, curling my body tightly into a ball and squatting on the floor. Not what we think, the doctor didn't mean to hurt anyone, he was just trying to save it from my head!I screamed. I pushed her away - gagged her so I wouldn't have to endure her explanations - and it was only then that I realized how vulnerable these months of being together had made her.I allow her to do too many things, so support her. It was almost as easy to shut her up as it should have been in the first place. Now it's just me, just me, and the pain and fear I'll never escape.That image in my head will never go away, I can never get rid of it, it will always be a part of me. I don't know how to mourn here, I cannot mourn in a human way for those dead souls whose names I will never know, for that splintered hatchling on the table. On the Primordial Planet, I never had to mourn.I didn't know how mourning was done in the real home of our pack, so I decided to do it the way it was on Bat Planet.It was pitch black here, as it had been out of sight, and the way the bats seemed fitting.Bats mourn in silence—singing for weeks on end, until the sense of nothingness without music is stronger than the pain of loss of soul.I've seen death in N'er, a friend died in a strange accident, a tree fell in the night, his host's body was crushed, and it was discovered too late.Spearling Appleward Harmony, these words are his name in the language of Earth.Not quite exact, but close.There was no fear in his death, only grief—an accident. The sound of the gurgling spring water was so out of place that I couldn't remember the songs we sang, I could mourn in this dissonant clatter. I wrap my arms around my shoulders and mourn for that child and the other souls who died with him - my brothers and sisters, my family.If I had found my way out of this place, if I had warned the hunters, their bodies would not have been so easily dismembered and lumped together in that bloody room. I want to cry, cry in grief.But that's the human way.So, I pursed my lips, curled up in the dark, and suppressed the bitter cry in my heart. My quiet, my mourning was taken away. They spent hours, and I heard them searching, and heard their voices echoing down the long tunnel.They are calling me, expecting a response.When they heard no answer, they fetched the lamp.Not the dim blue lantern, which would probably never discover my hiding place in such darkness, but the blinding yellow light of the flashlight.They shone back and forth, the light wobbling.Even with the flashlight, I was only found on the third search, why couldn't they just leave me alone? There was a gasp of relief when the beam of the flashlight finally spotted me. "I found her! Tell the others to come back here! She's here after all!" I'm familiar with the voice, but I don't want to mention the name, just another demon. "Xiaoman? Xiaoman? Are you okay?" I didn't look up, I didn't open my eyes, I was mourning. "Where is Ian?" "Should we find Jamie, don't you think?" "He can't know." Jamie, I tremble at the name.My Jamie, he's a demon too, he's just like everyone else.My Jamie, it pains me to think of him. "Where is she?" "There, Jared, she's not responding." "We didn't touch her." "Here, give me the flashlight," Jared said, "now, the rest of us get out of here. The emergency is just over, give her some space, okay?" The voice of Sese rate rate did not go away. "Seriously, fellas, you can't help. Go away and get out of the way." At first, the Sai rate sound was very slow, and then it became faster and faster.I could hear many footsteps fading away and disappearing from the room. Jared waited for the surroundings to return to calm again. "Okay, Xiaoman, it's just you and me." He expected some kind of answer. "Look, I guess that must be pretty bad, but we never want you to see it, and I'm sorry." Feel sorry?Jeffrey said it was Jared's idea.He wanted to dig me out, tear me into tiny pieces, and smear my blood on the walls.If he can find a way to live with the one demon he loves most, he will slowly dismember thousands of me.Cut us all to pieces. He was quiet for a long time, still waiting for my answer. "You look like you want to be alone, that's okay, I can tell them not to come near, if you want to." I didn't move. Something touched my shoulder, and I ducked into the sharp rock. "Sorry." He said softly. I heard him stand up, and the light—red light when I closed my eyes—faded as he moved away. He met someone at the entrance of the cave. "Where is she?" "She wants to be alone, let her go." "Don't stop me, Howe." "Do you think she wants comfort from you? From a man?" "I'm not involved in this" Jared answered in a low voice, but I could still hear the echo. "This time it's different, you're one of us, Ian, her enemy. Didn't you hear what she said there? She yelled at the devil, that's how she sees us now, she doesn't need your comfort .” "Give me the flashlight." They didn't speak again, and a minute passed before I heard a man walking slowly to the edge of the room.Finally, the light hit me and I saw the red light again under my eyelids. I thought he was going to touch me, so I curled up even tighter. A soft sigh, followed by the sound of him sitting on the stone, not as close as I thought. With a click, the light disappeared. I waited silently for a long time for him to speak, but he was as quiet as I was. Finally, I stopped waiting and continued my mourning without Ian interrupting.I sat in a huge cavern sunk into the ground, mourning for dead souls in the dark, with a man sitting next to me.