Chapter 41 Chapter 39 Anxiety

Very good, I said to myself, very good. Ian came over to join me for lunch, a big smile on his face.Trying to cheer me up again and again. I think your latest sarcasm has gone too far.Melanie told me. I will keep this in mind. For the past week, I have rarely heard her voice.At the moment, neither of us are rapport partners.It would be better if we avoided communicating with people, even with each other. "Hey, Xiaoman." Ian greeted me and jumped onto the long table next to me.He held a bowl of tomato soup in one hand, still piping hot.My soup was sitting next to me, it had cooled and was halfway left.

I fiddled with a roll, tearing it into tiny pieces. I didn't answer him. "Hey, come here." He put his hands on my knees.Mel lazily showed an angry expression.She was used to things like this, and she was no longer really angry. "They'll be back today, before sundown, without a doubt." "You said that three days ago, two days ago, and yesterday." I reminded him. "I had a good feeling today, don't be mad - it's so human," he joked. "I'm not angry." I'm not.I was so worried that it was hard to think normally, and the worry left me with no energy to do other things.

"This isn't Jamie's first heist." "Your words made me feel better." Still sarcastically.Melanie is right - I did say too much. "He's got Jared, Geoffrey, and Trudy with him, and Kyle's staying here," Ian laughed, "so there's no way they're going to be in trouble." "I don't want to talk about it." "Ok." He turned his attention to his own food, leaving me alone to worry.Ian was great at that - he always went out of his way to give me what I wanted, even though sometimes neither of us knew exactly what I wanted, except of course for his obsession with trying to get me to forget about my immediate worries.I know I don't want that, I want to worry and it's the only thing I can do.

It's been a month since I moved back into Jamie and Jared's room.For three of those weeks, the four of us lived together, with Jared sleeping on a mattress built into the headboard of Jamie and me. I'm used to it - at least the sleeping part, and now I have a hard time falling asleep in an empty room, and I miss the sound of the other two breathing. I wasn't used to waking up with Jared every morning there, and it still took me a while to get back to saying hello and saying good morning to him.He's also uncomfortable, but he's always polite, and we both are. At this time, the words are almost like reciting lines.

"Good morning, Xiaoman, how did you sleep?" "Good, thank you. What about you?" "Very good too. Thanks, and what about Mel?" "She's fine too, thank you." Jamie's always cheerful mood and cheerful chatter eased the tense atmosphere.He talked about Melanie often, and with Melanie, until her name ceased to cause tension in Jared's presence.Every day, the atmosphere becomes a little more relaxed and my life here becomes more comfortable. We're kind of happy, Melanie and I are. Then, a week earlier, when Jared left for another brief raid—mainly to renew depreciated tools—he took Jamie with him.

"Are you tired?" Ian asked. I realized I was rubbing my eyes: "Not too tired." "Still not sleeping well?" "It's so quiet." "I can sleep with you—oh, take it easy, Melanie, you know what I mean." Ian always noticed that Melanie's hostility made me cringe. "You're right, I don't think there's any need to reschedule." I sigh. "Perhaps you should rest in the afternoon." "Don't be silly," I told him, "I have enough energy to work." He grinned as if I had said something that comforted him, something he expected from me.

"Very well, I can find help for my project." "What project?" "I'll show you—are you done with your work there?" I nod. He took my hand and led me out of the kitchen.This happened so often that Melanie hardly protested anymore. "Why are we going this way?" The fields to the east don't need to be looked after, and we've watered them with the others this morning. Ian didn't answer, he was still grinning. He led me through the tunnel on the east side, across the fields, and into a corridor that led to only one place.Once inside the tunnel, I could hear echoing voices and staccato thumping, and it took me a while to catch on, the stale, bitter sulfur smell helping me recall the sound.

"Ian, I'm not in the mood." "You said you were energetic." "Work, not football." "But Lily and Wes will be disappointed, I promised them a two-on-two game. They work hard in the morning just to free up the afternoon" "Don't make me feel guilty," I said as we rounded the last corner.I could see the blue light of several oil lamps, the dancing shadows in front of them. "Doesn't work?" he joked, "Come on Man, it's good for you." He pulled me into the low-ceilinged rec room, where Lily and Wes were passing the ball across the width of the court.

"Hey, Man. Hey, Ian." Lily greeted us. "I'm sure I'll win this game, Ian." Weiss reminded him. "You're not going to let me lose to Wes, are you?" Ian whispered. "You alone can defeat them." "It's still going to be a regret, and I'll never forget it." I sighed, "Okay, okay, whatever you want." Ian hugged me with an enthusiasm that Melanie thought was unnecessary: ​​"In this known universe, you are my favorite person." "Thank you." I mutter coldly. "Are you ready to be defeated, Xiao Man?" Weiss said jokingly, "Maybe you can take over the planet, but you can't win this game."

Ian laughed, but I didn't respond, the joke made me uncomfortable.How could Wes make a joke like that?Humans never cease to amaze me. Including Melanie, she was in the same bad mood as me just now, but now she suddenly became excited. We weren't able to participate last time, she explained, and I could sense her desire to run — to run for joy, not fear.Running is a sport she used to like. If we defend and don't attack, they won't score goals soon. Maybe they should be distracted.She was already sizing up our opponents, thinking about tactics. "Do you know the rules?" Lily asked me.

I nodded: "I remember the rules." I absently bend my knees, grab my ankles, and lift my legs to stretch the muscles.My body is very familiar with this movement.I stretched the other leg so it felt complete and I was happy.The bruise on the back of my thigh had faded to yellow and was almost gone.The lower back feels good and makes me feel like my ribs were never broken. When I saw my face in the mirror two weeks ago, there was a deep red scar on my cheek, the size of the palm of my hand, with many jagged cuts along the side.It bothered Melanie more than it bothered me. "I'll keep the goal," Iss told me, as Lily stepped back and Wes lingered next to the ball.A game of disparity in strength, Melanie likes this, the game attracts her. From the moment the game started — Wes kicked the ball to Lily behind, and Lily jumped up front trying to get around me — there was little time to think, just quick reactions and feelings.From seeing Lily turn her body, she can deduce the direction of her dribbling.Tackle Wes - ah, I surprised him with my speed - pass the ball to Ian and keep going.Lily ran too far and I chased her to the goalposts where the lanterns acted and we won.Ian's pass was perfect and I scored the first goal. It felt good: the stretching and stretching of the muscles, movement instead of sweat from the heat, and working with Ian.We cooperated tacitly, I ran fast, and he had precise footwork.Wes lost his temper before Ian scored the third goal. When we reached twenty to one, Lily called to stop the game.She had difficulty breathing.Instead, I feel great, my muscles are warm and flexible. Wes tried another round, but Lily was exhausted. "Just accept it, they're better." "We were lied to." "Nobody ever said she couldn't play football." "No one ever said she was a professional player." I love this quote - it makes me smile. "Don't get annoyed when you lose." Lily said, reaching out to scratch Wes's stomach playfully.He grabbed her fingers and pulled her closer to him.She broke free laughing, but Wes hooked her and planted a deep kiss on her smiling lips. Iss and I immediately exchanged surprised glances. "For you, I'm willing to gamble and lose." Wes said to her, and then let go of her. The smooth beige skin on Lily's cheeks and neck was tinged with pink.She glanced at Ian and me, wondering how we would react. "Now," Wes continued, "I'm going to get some relief. Ian, let's see what your imposter does to Kyle." He tossed the ball high into the far, dark corner of the cave, and I heard The sound of water splashing in the fountain. Ian trotted to pick up the ball, and I still watched Lily curiously. At my look, she laughed, a laugh that sounded uncomfortable, which was not normal for her: "I know, I know." "How long has it been?" I asked curiously. She made a face. "I was nosy, sorry." "It's okay, it's not a secret—and, how could there be a secret here? It's just that I'm new to this, so it's your fault," she continued, smiling to show she was joking. Either way, I felt guilty and confused: "What did I do?" "It's nothing," she reassures me. "It was Wes's attitude towards you that surprised me. I didn't know he was so understanding. Before that, I never really paid attention to him. Oh, well, He's too young for me, but what does it matter here?" She laughed again, "It's strange that life and love go on, I didn't think of that." "Yeah, it's weird how that happened," Ian agreed, and I didn't hear him come back, and he hooked his arm around my shoulders, "But, it's good. You must know Wes just got here I'm obsessed with you, aren't I?" "That's what he said, and I didn't pay attention." Ian smiled: "Then you're the only one who didn't notice. Well, Man, how about we play one-on-one while we wait?" I could feel Melanie's indescribable enthusiasm: "Okay." He let me carry the ball first, he stood at the back, next to the goal area.My first shot, the ball went between him and the stick and scored.After he kicked off, I overtook him, got the ball back and I scored again. He let us win on purpose.Mel complained. "Come on, Ian, play well." "I'm playing well." Tell him he plays football like a girl. "Like a girl playing football." He laughed and I snatched the ball away from him again, the taunting didn't work.That's when I had an idea and kicked the ball into his goal, thinking it was probably the last time I'd get a chance to do it. Mel objected, I don't like the idea. But I guarantee the idea will work. I put the ball back in the middle of the court: "If you win, you can sleep in my room while they're away." I'm going to sleep and rest. "Ten wins or loses," he muttered, and the drive was so hard that it flew past me, hit the wall that was too far behind my goal, and bounced back. I glanced at Lily: "Is that too far away?" "No, I look just right." "One to three." Ian announced. It took him fifteen minutes to win, but at least I had a real game.I even scored another goal, not proud of it.While I was gasping for breath, he stole the ball from under my feet and dribbled it over my goalpost one last time. He was not out of breath: "Ten to four, I won." "Good kick." I said angrily. "Are you tired?" he asked, the innocence in his tone was a bit artificial, even funny, he stretched himself, "I think I'm going to sleep myself." He glanced at me exaggeratedly. I cringe. "Oh, Mel, you know I'm joking, be happy." Lily looked at us, bewildered. "Jered's Mel is against me," Ian told her, blinking. She raised her eyebrows: "This is really interesting." "I wonder why Wes has been here for so long?" Ian muttered, not paying much attention to her reaction, "Let's find out! I can get some water." "Me too." I agreed. "Bring me some water." Lily was half lying on the floor without getting up. Ian put an arm lightly around my waist as we entered the narrow tunnel. "You know," he said, "it's not fair for Melanie to make you suffer when she's mad at me." "Since when have human beings been fair?" "well said." "And, if I let her, she'll be more than happy to make you suffer." he laughed. "Wes and Lily are great together, don't you think?" he asked. "Yeah, they both look happy, I like that." "Me too, Wes finally got the girl, which gives me hope." He winked at me. "If I were to kiss you right now, do you think Melanie would make you uncomfortable?" I was stunned, and after a while, I took a deep breath: "It's very likely." Oh I will. "no doubt." Ian sighed. That's when we hear Wes yelling, his voice coming from the end of the tunnel, each word getting closer. "They're back! Xiaoman, they're back!" I understood right away and ran over, Ian muttering behind me. I almost knocked Wes over. "Where is it?" I gasped. "on the square." I started to run again, and ran into the spacious greenhouse like a fly, my eyes were already searching around.Finding them was easy, with Jamie standing in front of the group, near the exit of the tunnel to the south. "Hey Man!" he yelled, waving his arms. As I ran around the edge of the field, Trudy took his arm, as if to stop him from running to meet me. I grab his shoulders with both hands and pull him closer to me: "Oh, Jamie!" "do you miss me?" "I just wondered, where are the others? Has everyone arrived home? Are you all right?" Except for Jamie, only Trudy returned from the robbery.Everyone in the sparse crowd—Lucyna, Ruth Ann, Kyle, Travis, Violetta, Red—was welcoming them home. "Everyone is home safe," she reassured me. I scanned the huge cave: "Where are they?" "Uh they're washing, unloading" I wanted to help--anything to get me to Jared so I could see him safe--but I said there was no way they'd let me see where the cargo was unloaded. "You look like you should take a shower," I told Jamie, stroking his messy, tangled hair but not letting go. "He should lie down," Trudy said. "Trudy," Jamie muttered, looking at her angrily. Trudy glanced at me quickly, then looked away. "Lie down." I watched Jamie, pulling him over for a closer look.He didn't look tired -- his eyes were piercing and his tanned cheeks were flushed.I looked him up and down, my eyes resting on his right leg. His jeans had a hole a few inches above the knee, and the fabric around the hole was stained a dark brownish red, an ominous color that extended all the way to the hem. blood.Melanie wakes up with horror. "Jamie! What happened?" "Thank you, Trudy." "She'll notice right away. Hey, seeing you limp, we always have to talk." Trudy supported his arm with her arm, supported him to support the center of gravity with her left leg, and slowly jumped forward step by step. "Jamie, tell me what happened!" I put my arm on him from the other side, sharing his weight as best I could. "It was stupid, it was all my fault, and it could have happened here." "tell me." He sighed: "I fell down with a knife in my hand." I shivered. "Shouldn't we take you over there? You need to see a doctor." "I just came back from there, we went there first." "what did the doctor say?" "It's okay, he cleaned and bandaged the wound and told him to lie down." "Did you come all the way? Why don't you stay in the hospital?" Jamie grimaced and looked up at Trudy as if seeking an answer. "Jamie would be more comfortable in his own bed," she reminded Jamie. "Yes," he agreed at once. "Who likes to lie in a crude little bed like that?" I looked at them and then behind me.The crowd had dispersed, and I could hear their voices coming from the tunnel to the south. Why exactly?Mel speculated warily. It occurred to me that Trudy was as bad at lying as I was.There was a false tone in her voice when she said the other returnees were unloading and washing.I think I remember seeing her eyes flicker to the right, looking back down the tunnel. "Hey, kid! Hey, Trudy!" Ian caught up to us. "Hi, Ian." They greeted him in unison. "What happened here?" "Fall on the knife," Jamie murmured, looking down. Ian laughed. "I don't think it's funny," I tell him, my voice strained.The Melanie in my mind was going crazy with worry, fantasizing about slapping him, and I ignored her. "This could happen to anyone," Ian said, patting Jamie's arm lightly. "Yes." Jamie muttered. "Where are the others?" Out of the corner of my eye I watched Trudy answer his question. "They, uh, have to load and unload some cargo." This time, her eyes deliberately turned to the tunnel to the south, and Ian's expression became stiff, and he was instantly irritated.Then Trudy glanced back at me and saw me watching her. distract them.Melanie said quietly. I immediately looked down at Jamie. "Are you hungry?" I asked him. "Ok." "Are you ever not hungry?" Ian joked.His tense face relaxed again, and he was better at lying than Trudy. When we got to our room, Jamie slumped contentedly on the big mattress. "Are you sure you're okay?" I confirmed to him. "Nothing, really, the doctor says I'll be all right in a day or two." I nodded, though not convinced. "I'm going to wash up." Trudy whispered and left. Ian leaned against the wall, not going anywhere. Keep your head down when you tell a lie.Melanie suggested to me. "Ian?" I stared intently at Jamie's bleeding leg. "Can you get us something to eat? I'm hungry too." "Well, let's get you something delicious." I could feel Ian looking at me, but I didn't look up. "Okay," he agreed, "I'll be right back." He emphasized the brevity of time. I kept looking down, as if examining a wound, until I heard his footsteps die away. "You're not mad at me, are you?" Jamie asked. "of course not." "I know you don't want me out." "You're safe now, that's all that matters." I patted him absently.Then he stood up and brushed the hair that had grown to his chin in front to cover his cheeks. "I'll be right back - I forgot to tell Ian something." "What's wrong?" he asked, confused by my tone. "Are you okay here alone?" "Of course no problem." He replied decisively, thoughtfully. Before he could ask anything else, I slipped out from behind the screen. The hall was empty, Ian was out of sight, I had to hurry, I knew he was suspicious.He noticed that I had picked up on Trudy's clumsy, far-fetched explanation, and he wouldn't be gone for long. I walked quickly across the empty square without running, pretending to be on my way to do something.There weren't many people there—Red walked toward the path that led to the bath; Ruth Ann and Heidi stood chatting in the east corridor; Lily and Wes turned their backs to me, holding hands.Nobody noticed me, I looked ahead, apparently not paying attention to the tunnel to the south, and didn't bend in until the last second. As soon as I stepped into the dark tunnel, I quickened my pace and trot along the familiar road. Something tells me it's the same thing this time—same as last time, when Jared and the others came back from the raid, and then everyone was depressed, the doctor was drunk, and no one answered my questions.This happened again, and it was something I shouldn't have known about anyway.According to Ian, it's something I don't want to know.I felt like a pinprick in the back of my neck, and maybe I really didn't want to know. No, you want to know.We all want to. I was terrified. me too. I run as fast as I can through the dimly lit tunnel.