Chapter 9 Chapter 7 Face up

"Please say, 'Face the sun' Fez? Sunward?" I asked, grateful for the raised hand who interrupted my lecture.I was not as comfortable standing behind the podium as usual.My greatest strength, and the only real proof of that—since my host's body has had little formal education, and has been on the run since she first hit puberty—is what I usually learn from my own personal experience.This was the first lecture on world history I taught this term, and I have no memory to cite in that regard.I'm pretty sure my students are getting bored just because of this difference. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but" the white-haired man paused, trying to phrase his question appropriately, "I'm not sure I understand. Fire eaters actually burn walking flower tribes Swallow the smoke that comes out? Like eating?" He tried to suppress the fear in his voice.Judging another soul as unfit to be a soul, but it doesn't surprise me that he has a strong reaction to the fate of a similar life form on another world, given his background on the planet of flowers.

It always amazes me how some souls can immerse themselves in the things of whatever world they inhabit, while ignoring the entire universe.But, to be fair, perhaps when the world of flames became notorious, Fez?Xiangyang is in hibernation. "Yes, they draw the necessary nourishment from this smoke, and thus cause the fundamental dilemma and controversy of the world of flames-this is the reason why this planet has not been shut down, although we have been there since a long time ago. immigration, but there is also a very high proportion of the population emigrating.” "When the world of flames was discovered, at first thought, the dominant species, the fire eaters, were the only intelligent life forms in existence. The fire eaters didn't think the walking flower tribes could be compared to them - that was a cultural prejudice - so it took a while, even after the first wave of settlement, that the spirits realized that they were murdering sentient beings. Since then, the scientists of the fire world have focused on discovering alternatives to satisfy the dietary needs of the fire eaters The spider was transported there to help, but the two planets are separated by hundreds of light-years. When this difficulty is overcome, I believe it will be soon, and the walking flower family is also expected to be assimilated. At the same time, A great deal of the cruelty has been removed in various influences. Ah, of course the live burning part and whatnot."

"How could they" Fez?Xiang Yang's voice fell and he couldn't finish. Another voice then finished Fez?Xiang Yang's thoughts: "It seems to be a very cruel ecosystem, why hasn't this planet been abandoned?" "This is of course debatable, Robert, but we never abandon planets lightly. For many souls, the Fireworld is their home, and they will not be eradicated against their will." I looked away. Going back to my notes and trying to close this side discussion. "But it's barbaric!" Robert was physically younger than most of the other students - closer to my age than the rest, in fact, and in more important ways he was actually a child.Earth is his first world - in this case his mother was actually an Earth resident before becoming a host - and he doesn't seem to have the same measure as older, more traveled souls feel.I don't know what it would be like to be born into this environment without any prior experience to counteract the overwhelming perception and emotion of these hosts, finding objectivity would be difficult.I try to remember this and answer his questions with great patience.

"Each world is a unique experience. It is impossible to truly understand unless one has lived in that world" "But you've never lived on a world of fire," he interrupted me. "You must have felt the same unless you skipped that planet for some other reason. You've been to almost every other place." "Choosing a planet is a very personal and intimate decision, Robert, as you will one day experience it." The tone I used absolutely closed the subject. Why not tell them?You do think that is very barbaric - and cruel, and wrong.Pretty ironic if you ask me - not because you ever think so.What's the problem?Do you feel ashamed to agree with Robert?Because he is more human than others?

Melanie was talking again, and now it was downright intolerable.How can I focus on my work, with her views echoing boldly and loudly in my head? In the seat behind Robert, a shadow moved. Wrapped in her usual black clothes, Hunter leaned forward, noticing the subject of the discussion for the first time. I resisted the urge to get angry at her, I didn't want the already embarrassed Robert to think the look was directed at him.Melanie was full of whining, and she hoped I wouldn't hold back.The hunters stalking us every step of the way was instructive to Melanie, who had always thought she couldn't hate anything or anyone else as much as she hated me.

"We're almost up for time," I announced with relief, "and I'm happy to tell you that next Tuesday we'll have a guest speaker who is more than capable of covering my ignorance on the topic. The Flame Master recently came to our Planet, he will come here to explain to us more personally the placement of the flame world. I know that you will give him the utmost courtesy, just as you have given me, and respect his young host." The class slowly filed out, and many chatted with each other for a while while they packed up.Cathy's words about friendship flashed through my mind, but I didn't have any desire to join them—they were strangers.

Is that how I feel?Or how Melanie felt?It's hard to tell.Maybe I'm not a social person by nature, and my personal experience supports that, I think.I've never developed an attachment strong enough to keep me on a planet for more than one lifetime. I noticed Robert and Faith?Xiang Yang lingered at the door of the classroom, entangled in what seemed to be a very heated discussion, and I guessed their topic. "Stories from a world in flames set people on fire." I was slightly surprised. The hunter stood to my right, a woman who would usually announce her approach with a quick snap of a stiff shoe.I look down now and see her wearing a pair of sneakers for the first time—black, of course.Without heels, without the extra few centimeters, she's even smaller.

"It's not my favorite topic," I said hollowly. "I prefer to share first-hand experiences." "The response from the class was strong." "yes." She looked at me expectantly, as if waiting for more comments from me.I packed up my notes and proceeded to pack them in my bag. "You seem to have a reaction too." I carefully put my papers in the bag without turning around. "I'm curious why you didn't answer that question." She paused as she waited for my answer, and I didn't reply. "Then why didn't you answer that question?"

I turned around, not hiding the impatience on my face: "Because this has nothing to do with the class content, because Robert needs to learn some manners, because this is none of other people's business." I slung my bag over my shoulder and headed for the door.She was still on my right, trotting quickly to keep up with my longer legs, and we walked down the corridor in silence.She didn't speak again until we were outside, where the afternoon sun reflected the dust in the salty air. "Do you think you'll settle down, rover? On this planet, perhaps? You seem to enjoy their affection."

At her insulting tone of insinuation, I raised my head and nodded in anger.I'm not even sure why she wanted to insult me, but it was clear she did, and Melanie was agitated indignantly. "I'm not sure what you mean." "Tell me, wanderer, do you sympathize with them?" "Who?" I asked blankly, "The flower family who can walk?" "No, human." I stopped walking and she stopped abruptly beside me.We were only a few blocks from my apartment, and I kept rushing, hoping to get rid of her—even though it was impossible, she would come uninvited.

"Humanity?" "Yes, do you sympathize with them?" "Don't you?" "No, they are quite a cruel people. They are lucky to have survived each other for so long." "Not all of them are bad." "It's their genetic predisposition. Cruelty is part of their race, but you sympathize with them, it seems." "It's a lot to lose, don't you think so?" I gestured around us.We stood in a clearing between two ivy-covered dormitory buildings.The green ivy is pleasing to the eye, especially against the stained and faded old brick.The yellow air was soft and pleasant, the smell of the ocean made the bushes smell sweet and fragrant like honey, and the flowers were salty, and the breeze caressed the bare skin on my arms. "In the rest of your life, you didn't feel that way. Wouldn't you empathize with anyone who was deprived of it?" Her expression remained dull and emotionless.I try to get her to see things from another angle: "What other worlds have you lived in?" She hesitated for a moment, then straightened her shoulders: "No, I've only lived on Earth." That surprised me, she was as childlike as Robert: "Only one planet? And you chose to be a hunter in your first life?" She nodded, her jaw stiffened. "Okay, okay, that's your business." I started walking again.Maybe if I respected her privacy, she would reciprocate. "I talked to your counselor." Maybe not.Melanie thought sourly. "What?" I exclaimed. "I understand that you have been experiencing more difficulties than merely assessing the information I need. Have you ever considered trying another, more yielding host? That's what she suggested, wasn't it?" "Cathy won't tell you anything!" A smug expression appeared on the hunter's face: "She doesn't have to answer. I'm very good at reading people's expressions. I can tell when my question will stir up other people's nerves." "How dare you? The soul's relationship to its counselor" "Sacrosanct, yes. I understand that, but in your case, ordinary investigative techniques don't seem to apply, and I'll have to get a little more creative." "You think I'm keeping it from you?" I demanded, too annoyed to hold back my disgust. "You think I'm going to confide in my counselor?" My anger didn't bother her.Perhaps, given her eccentric personality, she was used to such reactions. "No, I think what you're telling me is what you know but I don't think you seem as strong as you can be. I've seen it before, you're growing to feel compassion for your host, you're making her At the point where the memory of you unknowingly guides your own desires may be too late. I think it would be more comfortable to move on, and maybe others would be luckier with her." "Ha!" I yelled, "Melanie's going to eat 'em alive!" Her expression froze. She didn't know, whatever she thought she picked up on Cathy.She thinks Melanie's influence is through memory, subconsciously. "I find it very interesting that you speak of her in the present tense." I ignored that, trying to look like I wasn't giving away: "If you thought someone else would have had more luck cracking her secret, you'd be wrong." "There's only one way to find out." "Who do you think of?" I asked, my voice stern with revulsion. She grinned: "I have already been allowed to give it a try. It shouldn't take too long, they will keep my host for me." I had to take a deep breath.I was shaking, and Melanie was so full of hatred that she couldn't speak.The thought of having the hunter inside me - even though I knew I wouldn't be here - was so overwhelming I felt the nausea from last week coming back. "I'm not going to walk away, it's too bad for your investigation." The hunter narrowed his eyes. "Well, that has certainly delayed the mission. History has never fascinated me much, but it looks like I'm fully involved now." "You just said that it might be too late to get more information from her memory." I reminded her, struggling to keep my tone calm, "Why don't you go back to wherever you belonged? " She shrugged and forced a smile: "I'm sure it's too late to voluntarily provide information. If you don't cooperate, she will lead me to them after all." "Lead you?" "When she's got you all over you and you're no better than that weak guy who used to be called Race Song and is now Kevin. Remember him? The one who attacked the healer?" I stared at her with wide eyes, my nostrils were smoking with anger. "Yeah, it's probably just a matter of time. Your counselor didn't tell you the stats, did she? Well, even if she did, she wouldn't have the most up-to-date information we can. Long term in your case The victory rate - once the human hosts start resisting - is less than twenty percent. Didn't you know it was going to be that bad? They are changing the information they give to potential settlers. They won't give any more The risk is too great, we're losing souls. It won't be long before she's talking to you and controlling your decisions by talking to you." I didn't move or relax my muscles.Hunter leaned closer, tiptoing to bring her face closer to mine.Her voice became deep and smooth, trying to be persuasive. "Is that what you want, wanderer? Failure? Fading away, wiped out by another consciousness? Worse than a host's body?" I can't breathe. "It's only going to get worse and you won't be who you are anymore. She'll beat you and you'll disappear. Maybe someone will interfere or maybe they'll want to remove you, like they did with Kevin. And you’re going to be some kid named Melanie who likes messing around with cars, or whatever she does, instead of making music.” "The success rate is less than 20 percent?" I said softly. She nodded, trying to hold back her smile, "You're losing yourself, wanderer. You've been through so many worlds, all the experiences you've accumulated—they're useless. I'm in your file Seeing that you have the potential to be a mother, if you submit yourself to being a mother, at least all of that will not be completely wasted. Why waste yourself? Have you ever considered mothering?" I blushed and turned my head away abruptly, away from her. "I'm sorry," she whispered, and her face darkened, "that's very rude, forget I said that." "I'm going home, don't follow me!" "I have to, Rover, it's my job." "Why do you care so much about the few survivors? Why? How do you rationalize your work again? We've won! It's time for you to fit in and do something productive." My question, my implied reproach did not irritate her. "Wherever the edge of their world touches ours, there will be death." She said these words calmly, and for a moment I glimpsed a different person in her face.I'm surprised to realize that she's convinced of what she's doing, and I partly think she's only hunting because she covets violence, "if even one soul dies at the hands of your Jared or Jamie - one soul is too many Already—until there is complete peace on this planet, my job is justice. As long as there are people like Jared alive, I need to protect our kind. As long as there are people like Melanie People lead by the nose" I turned my back to her and walked towards my apartment in such a stride that she had to run if she wanted to keep up. "Don't lose yourself, Wanderer!" she yelled behind me, "Time is running out for you!" She paused, then yelled even louder, "When I start calling you Merlin Let me know when you see Ni." Her voice faded away as the distance grew between us, and I knew she would follow at her own pace.A week that didn't go well -- seeing her face in the back row of every class, hearing her footsteps following me on the sidewalk every day -- couldn't compare to what was about to happen, and she was going to make my life become miserable. It felt like Melanie was throbbing against the inner walls of my skull. Let's get her fired.Telling her superiors that she did something unacceptable - beat us up, our words would accuse her in the human world, I reminded her that there is no way to get that kind of help, it almost made me sad, it didn't make that sense Bosses at work where everyone works equally.In that world, in order to integrate information resources, you have to report to other people, and there are decision-making committees to make decisions on the situation, but they will not transfer her away from the work she wants to do.You see, the principle is like who cares what the principle is if it doesn't help us?I know - let's kill her!Images of my hands clutching the hunter's neck flooded my mind for no reason. That sort of thing is the exact reason why my kind manages the place better. Don't make too much noise, you'll be as happy to do it as I am.The image came again, the hunter's face livid in our imaginations, but this time with a burst of violent joy. That's you, not me.My words are true, and this reflection makes me sick, but it's also dangerously close to being wrong—for I'm more than happy not to see the Hunter again. what do we do nowI won't give up, and neither will you, and neither will that hateful hunter! I didn't answer her, I didn't have an answer ready. My mind was quiet for a little while, which was nice.I hope this silence will last, but there is only one way to get my peace.Am I willing to pay that price?Do I still have a choice? Melanie slowly calmed down.Before I went through the gate and drew the bolt I had never bolted—human security artifacts have no place in a peaceful world—her mind was lost in thought. I never thought about how you all reproduce your species, I don't know that. We take this matter very seriously and as you can imagine, thank you for your concern.The strong irony in my thoughts didn't bother her. She was still brooding over the discovery when I turned on my computer and started looking for flights, and it took a moment before she realized what I was looking at. where are we going?There was a flash of panic at the thought.I felt her mind ebb and flow in my mind, her touch like the gentle caress of a feather, searching for things I might have kept from her. I made sure to spare her the search.I'm going to Chicago. Now this panic is not just flickering, why? I'm going to see a therapist, I don't trust her and I want to talk to him before I make a decision. After a while, she spoke again. The decision to kill me? Yes, it is that one.