Chapter 26 Chapter 25 Endless Missing

I suddenly discovered that the campus is so big that when a person deliberately hides, even people from one department may not see each other once a month. "You count on me for everything. If I'm not around one day, it's up to you." "I'll just look for it. I'll find you just like Tang Seng learns scriptures, Monkey King collects dragon balls, and Conan searches for the truth." I clearly remember every word Chen Yang said before, and I clearly remember her expression when she said these words.But now, let alone looking for it, she left me like trash, and I couldn't even find it.

I remember joking that I could see her dead everywhere, and seeing her as a child made me sick to death.But now, I want to see her every day like I used to, but I can't see her anymore. In order to avoid me, she didn't even go to class.I asked her roommate, and her roommate told me that Chen Yang started to specialize in TOEFL and GRE now, and basically he would not go to class. I wandered aimlessly in the school all day, study room, library, cafeteria, path, and her dormitory building, I didn't let go of any corner we walked together.I have imagined countless times that I could meet her by chance and apologize to her.It's just that these places we have walked together, in every place, I can't see her figure, nowhere.Without her, the whole school would be alien to me.

She seemed to have evaporated from the world. I continued to ask her roommate about her situation.But no matter what I said, they all said they didn't know, as if they had colluded.All I could do was pester her roommates like a bummer.I boiled water, prepared meals, bought snacks and drinks for her roommates, and after a month of soft and hard soaking, I finally learned that during this time, Chen Yang had to take GRE classes every day, so he lived at home all the time, and there was no Not at school. No wonder, no one is there, even if I conduct a blanket search of the school, I can't find her if I search the sky.

The invisible figure, the unreachable phone call, the forever gray QQ profile picture, and the emptied Weibo... A person who has been with him for more than ten years just disappeared without leaving a trace. I'm driving myself crazy. It's like I'm grabbing at straws.On Saturday, I bought a lot of fruit and went to her house. When I rang the doorbell, I was very uneasy, for fear that she would push me out if she was upset. Fortunately, it was her mother who opened the door.Her parents warmly greeted me to sit in the house, but she was not at home, and her parents said she had gone to class.

"Yangyang didn't tell you?" I smiled and didn't speak.It seems that her parents didn't know about our quarrel. Her parents asked me to wait for her while watching TV at her house. I didn't have any thoughts at all, but I could only sit fidgeting.Fortunately, the hourly time signal appeared on the upper right corner of the TV at this time. Her father looked at the watch and said, "Yo, Yangyang is about to finish class. I'll pick her up. Do you want to go with me?" I hastened to offer my courtesy: "Uncle, let me pick her up, you can just take a rest."

Her parents praised me for being sensible, saying that I was the most reliable among her friends.I have a guilty conscience. If her parents praised me like this before, I would be very proud.But now, I feel like I'm duplicity, hypocrisy, and they've all been duped by me. "Uncle, where is Yang Yang's class?" "Why? You don't know." Her father was a little surprised, but he told me neatly without asking too much. After remembering the address, I left her house.As soon as I went out, I immediately ran home.I went home and asked my dad for his car keys.Because the subway is too fast, there are too many people and it is noisy.Driving is different. It happens to be the evening rush hour after her get out of class and there will be traffic jams.This way I can spend more time with her, if not have a good chat, at least get along for a while.

I drove to the place where she had her class, and after parking the car, I looked at the rear mirror of the car for a long time and sorted out my clothes. Chen Yang's classroom is not difficult to find, there is only one door for the entire classroom, so you won't miss it again.I haven't seen her for a month, and since I'm here today, I don't want to make any mistakes and let myself pass her by. When get out of class was over, students poured out of the classroom, as many as peanuts spilled out of a sack. I walked to her in the crowd at a glance.She carried her schoolbag and walked side by side with a few girls. I walked towards her against the crowd, but she didn't see me. She didn't like to look at people when she walked.

I suddenly embraced her.She was startled, and when she saw it was me, she was taken aback for a moment, then calmed down quickly, and asked calmly, "Why are you here?" I tried my best to show a smile that I thought was a gentleman: "I went to your house, and my uncle and aunt asked me to pick you up." The girls who were traveling with her greeted me with smiles, teasing her: "Such a good boyfriend, why didn't you tell us before?" She quickly explained: "He's just my neighbor, just an ordinary friend." She was obviously defending, but I was very happy to hear it.Friends, she said we were friends!Not an insignificant person!I knew she was still angry, so I didn't expect any more, so I scratched the back of my head and smiled: "Yes, friend."

"Tch, ghosts believe it." They covered their mouths and snickered, "Let's go first, so I won't disturb you two playing." The group of girls glanced at me, then at her, and walked away quickly with a salivating smile. I pulled her to the parking space.This time she didn't refuse.Maybe after a month, she has calmed down.She shouldn't hate me that much, right?I comforted myself like this, hoping that she would really forgive me. She saw my car and realized I was driving and there were no people around. She shook off my hand, and said coldly like a Sichuan opera changing face: "You can drive back by yourself, I'll take the subway."

It turned out that she still didn't forgive me, even a little bit.In order to achieve my goal, I can only say rascally: "If you don't get in the car, I will lie in the car and sleep here overnight, and the phone will be turned off. My parents can't find me, so I will definitely ask your parents. When the time comes Let's see how you explain it." She laughed angrily at my rogue behavior, gave me a blank look, and got into the car.She was sitting in the right back seat, as if trying to get rid of me. I half begged and said, "Hey, can you sit in the front? You have a good view." Actually, I wanted to sit with her.

She said impatiently, "Don't you know that the right back seat is the safest place?" "Uh, I know." I didn't speak any more, just stepped on the clutch, put in gear, and started the car.I can only look at her in the rearview mirror or over my head, but that's a huge improvement for me. "As long as I can see her," I thought. Along the way, in order to spend more time with her, I deliberately drove the car as slowly as an old cow pulling a wrecked cart, and deliberately took a long detour. "Can you drive faster?" She choked dissatisfiedly, "If you drive at your speed, I won't be home until tomorrow morning, right?" I said with a cheeky smile: "I'm a novice on the road, your lord has a lot of prime ministers who can row a boat, so you have a lot of tolerance, so be patient." She obviously didn't buy it, raised her eyebrows, and said angrily: "Get out, stop kidding me! You were the one who accompanied me to practice driving when I took the driver's license test." I was a little relieved when I heard her mention the past.I still remember the beauty of the past, which more or less shows that she tried to forgive me, but it has not been cleared to the point of irreparability. I deliberately changed the subject: "Hey? Is your phone always on silent? Why don't you answer my calls?" She gave me a blank look and said nothing. I pretended to be relaxed and said: "Hey, you are too heartless, I haven't seen you for almost two months, you don't miss me, brother?" She gave me another look. I continued to search for words: "Hey, you know what? My cat disemboweled the Rilakkuma you gave me. It's too bad. There's a lot of cotton all over the place, like a murder scene." She didn't roll her eyes at me this time, but said to me viciously: "Drive your car well, don't talk so much nonsense." I was aggrieved and silent. Maybe I understand that I came to her, definitely not to chat with her, and sooner or later, I will return to the problem of the two of us.After being silent for a while, Chen Yang spoke again: "From now on, don't say a word, just listen to me." I turned my head to look at her, and she pushed my head to show me the way. "When I saw you for the first time in elementary school, I was thinking how could there be such a cute boy, even though I was just a little girl. At that time, I thought, if only you could be mine all the time. I am self-willed, I Don't let you talk to other girls, I'm afraid that other girls will snatch you away. When we are a little older, it's not that I haven't thought about being your girlfriend, but I always feel that after so long, you must know me I like you, but you have no intention of going any further, how can you let me, a girl, have the nerve to confess to you directly?" At this point, she paused.I stared at her in the rearview mirror, wanted to say something, but didn't know how to say it.If you understand the truth too much, you will fall into a state of not knowing the so-called. The experience that is constantly summed up is like an afterthought, lackluster. She continued: "After entering junior high school, I fell in love with Liang Bo, because Liang Bo looks very similar to you, but you are like a fool, not only didn't notice it, but also said that my future boyfriends have There is Liang Bo’s shadow, but it is actually your own shadow. When I said I like Liang Bo, even if you stopped me a little bit, even if you showed displeasure, I would never say a word to Liang Bo again Well, maybe it's just...forget it. After high school? Qianqian is my best friend besides you. Qianqian told me a long time ago that she likes you. Once, she asked me very seriously, Do I like you or not? I am saving face, afraid that you don’t like me. I said how could I like you, I have always regarded you as a male best friend. Later I asked you if you want to be with Qianqian, I always put Qianqian Qian is regarded as the best best friend, and I can't bear to hit her. I think you are the most qualified to speak about this matter. I have been silently saying in my heart, rejecting her and rejecting her, but you still agreed. I think we really have no Fate together..." Every time I think of this, I feel very sad and painful like uncovering an unhealed sore.I don't want to listen to her talk anymore, but if I don't listen to her talk, I feel like it will end with her like this. "In the third year of senior high school entrance examination, you went to our school after you failed the exam. In fact, I was a little gloating at that time. I knew that I was wrong, but I was very happy. I thought you and I could finally be together. But one day Qianqian and I said...then you two had a child, and she became a human being. I didn't expect you to be so soon...I felt like I was abandoned by you at that time, so I thought I should stop loving myself, Then I did it with Huang Feng, and then I asked you to comfort me, and I held you and wouldn't let you go..." "You kissed me, I'm very happy, but I feel that I'm a third party between you and Qianqian, and I'm the kind who grabs a good friend's boyfriend, even though you met me first. I can't face it You and Qianqian, I can only stay away from you as much as possible, just at this time I met Junshan. Then you broke up with Qianqian, Qianqian said you ruined her life, she said she knew you didn't love her, She thought she could catch your heart by being good enough to you, but she was wrong... She said that she hated me as well as you, and I clearly liked you but gave you to her. If I told her that I If she likes you, she must give up immediately, but I didn't. Instead, I let her chase you, and I gave her hope... At that time, I felt very uncomfortable. I wanted to comfort her, but I had no position to comfort her at all. I think I am the culprit who destroyed the relationship between her and you. What qualifications does a culprit have to comfort a victim?... Later, you chased the girls in my class, and you went to 419. I can't tell if you are real It’s bad or whatever. In short, you have changed and I don’t know you anymore. I don’t want to see you like this, it will ruin all my good memories about you. I hope you will always be clean in my heart of." In fact, Chen Yang has always been a person who is unwilling to open his heart to others.The reason why I said so much this time is just to let me get rid of the idea of ​​pestering her. I was silent, trying to refute, but couldn't find a reason to refute. She continued: "I think, whether I am good or you are good, we should have a new life. Even if we don't have each other, we will still have a good life. I can't forget Qianqian's tears, and I can't forget your one-night stand Even if I lie to myself that I forget and force myself to be with you, I will suffer for the rest of my life. It is impossible for me to continue to be friends with you. I like you, and you like me, I admit, but we really Can't be together. Let's not contact each other from now on. Just like what I said last time. Maybe one day, I won't be so important in your heart and become a passerby, maybe one day, I suddenly don't care about you and Everything about Qianqian has been put aside and let go, maybe we can be friends again at that time or something. But now, I really can't look away, and I can't let go. I hope you can understand me." I understand everything she says.I understand, but I just don't want to.But I understand that if I keep pestering her, it will only make her hate me more and more. After she said so much, the car gradually arrived downstairs at her house.I stopped the car, and after more than ten minutes of silence, I told her: "I understand, I hope that day will come sooner." She looked at me, nodded in relief, opened the door, got out of the car and left.