Chapter 17 Chapter Sixteen

Shooting fashion pictures sounds romantic and beautiful, but it is actually a tiring and monotonous job. The photographer keeps yelling and directing the models, the models keep changing clothes and posing in various positions, and the makeup artist keeps touching up makeup. The assistant kept adjusting the lighting, sorting out the clothes and replacing the background props.What Xinchen has to do is to constantly compare the photos he has taken, and make adjustments and revisions at any time.As usual, he was busy until late at night, and everyone was exhausted, so Yan Xuhui announced the end of work and let everyone rest.

April Garden is not far from Xin Di's residence. Xin Chen declined Yan Xuhui to send her off, and didn't bother to call a car. He walked back along the streets of the old city alone. Yu Xin, she likes the feeling of walking slowly and alone in the cool night. When she walked to a bakery that was about to close, she stopped and bought egg tarts and hardwood, two sweets that both she and Xin Di liked to eat.She carried it in her hand, and then went to a nearby convenience store to buy a chocolate cone and ate it while walking. When she turned a street, she looked up and stopped. Lu Fei was standing under the dim streetlight not far away, his face was half hidden in the darkness, his figure was elongated obliquely and projected on the sidewalk, this scene was clearly familiar to her, he had stood in the same position before Wait for her, but when did that happen?She stopped in her tracks, lost in thought.

Of course, it's been too long, I don't know if it's because my memory is fuzzy or the situation in front of me is a bit hazy, everything is not real enough, it's like turning a corner and walking home, but suddenly entered a dream by mistake. Xin Chen walked to the side first, threw the remaining half of the cone into the trash can on the side of the road, then turned and walked towards him, "Hello, Lu Fei, what's the matter?" Lufei looked at her, her thin lips were tightly closed and she did not speak, and the line of her jaw was clearly clenching her teeth, as if she was trying to restrain some kind of intense emotion. She was a little surprised and asked in doubt: "What's wrong?" No When she got the answer, she thought for a while and said, "I didn't intend to say those unnecessary things, but since you're here, I think it's better to speak clearly."

She looked at him seriously, "You may have misunderstood what Yueqing told you. What he told you is the truth, but please don't miss a premise. At that time on Mount Taibai, I had a high fever. In that kind of unlucky situation, I will call my mother, but I don’t have a mother to call, I don’t know what I said at the time, I don’t think I need to be responsible for the nonsense I said during my illness, so don’t take it seriously, okay?” Lu Fei still didn't speak, just stared at her.Xin Chen continued helplessly: "I have been hiking since I was in college. The decision to go to Qinling Mountains has nothing to do with you. The illness is just an accident. Before and after that, I have encountered more dangerous situations, such as this trip In Tibet, a tire blows out on the road, and the car almost loses control and rushes down the winding mountain road. Is it necessary to find someone to confess? You should know that playing outdoors is inevitable, and it is also one of the fun that stimulates people to invest. You want I feel guilty about this, and I think it’s okay to find trouble. After all, we have been separated for a long time, and we are all adults, so we should be responsible for our actions. As for you and your fiancée, please don’t involve me. People you know come to negotiate."

"You went to Beijing three years ago, why didn't you want to see me?" Lu Fei finally spoke, his voice low. Xin Chen frowned troubledly, "Why should I see you? Well, let me explain more, I went to Beijing to seek a job, and I found a job, but I hate the climate in the north, where it's dry and windy, so I'm back, did I make it clear enough?!" Lu Fei stared at her, his eyes were completely different from usual sharpness, and Xin Chen did not evade, but also looked at him, there was no wave in those eyes.After a long time, Lu Fei sighed, "Xiaochen, why did you do this? You actually refused to call me face to face."

Xin Chen's face suddenly turned pale, and after a long pause, she smiled, that smile was indifferent and alienated, "It's a miracle, after three years, I suddenly remembered that I was face to face with you, but it's already in the past , It’s meaningless to turn it out again.” "Your face is completely covered. I really didn't recognize you. If I didn't read Yan Xuhui's blog, I probably would never know that you went to Beijing to find me. Even if you just call my name, everything will be different , Are the angry words you said when you were young really that important?"

"Very well, you can just pretend that I've been angry all the time." Xin Chen turned to leave, but Lu Fei grabbed her arm and pulled her back. "Xiao Chen, Ruo Li and I were just ordinary friends at that time." "You don't need to explain this to me. We have been separated for so long. I have had more than one boyfriend. It is completely normal for you to have ordinary friends, girlfriends and fiancees." Xin Chen said lightly. "I really deserve to be punished, Xiaochen, but you shouldn't punish me by leaving quietly by yourself." Xin Chen slightly narrowed his eyes and smiled, with a bit of sarcasm, "Do you have to force me to completely confess my humbleness in front of you, Lu Fei? Well then, I ran to find you, still nervous Misunderstood the pure friendship between you and others, then gave up the good job I was looking for, and went home in despair. Not only that, but when I heard you came back, I ran away again, this time I ran even more outrageously, and almost lost my life outside, This version is bloody fun and dramatic enough, right?"

Before she could finish speaking, Lu Fei stretched out his arms to hug her. He used such force that she was caught off guard and pulled into his arms. He held her tightly with one hand, and held her tightly with the other. Pressing her head against his chest, this position is exactly the habitual action he used to hold her in the past.His voice was hoarse and painful coming from her head, "Don't talk about Xiaochen, everything is my fault. I didn't go back to China to find you as soon as I got my degree. I broke your heart." Xin Chen's face was pressed against his chest, and he could feel the intense beating there through his shirt.She lost her mind for a while, and the memories of the past flooded in like a tide, and there was a tingling sensation from her heart to her fingertips, which made her suddenly lose the strength to struggle and move, and could only lean on him softly.

However, what filled her breath was the light smell of him mixed with aftershave water and shower gel.This is the breath of a mature man, not the embrace of the big boy she was familiar with when she was a teenager and was willing to indulge in peace of mind. Realizing this, she adjusted a smile and tried to raise her head to look at him. On the back of her head, fingers were inserted into her hair, holding her in place. It was the first time in several years that the two of them looked at each other so closely. There were complex emotions in his deep eyes. Pain, pity, and helplessness were so deep that she could no longer maintain a mocking expression. That smile was like a broken leaf blown by the wind. From the branch, a little bit away from her face.

"I'm sorry, Lu Fei, I forgot that you always love to take responsibility. I have a very bad sense of humor now, and I like to make jokes that are not funny at all. Please don't take it seriously." She said calmly, "It's not what you think I admit, I did go to you, but I knew that you were also in Beijing at the time and wanted to meet you. When I really saw you, I was a little embarrassed, and suddenly realized that we had broken up long ago and hadn't seen each other for several years , I’m a stranger. Everyone has their own lives. I have no right to be an uninvited guest in other people’s lives after saying no goodbye, so I walked away, it’s that simple. I didn’t say it before, but it’s I don't want to complicate things."

Lu Fei looked at her deeply. Under the street lamp, her face was thin and her chin was pointed. She lost a little of the baby fat she had when she was a girl, and she no longer had the plumpness like a freshly ripe peach.At this moment, she met his gaze calmly, her eyes were still as clear as water, without the coquettish color that she used to show in front of him before.Her voice was clear and soft, calm and calm, without any hint of anger.Lu Fei only felt that the pain in his heart was even worse. His fingers tightened unconsciously on the back of her head. She could feel the sudden pressure from those slender fingers, but she just stood motionless. "It's fine if you don't want to mention this again, Xiaochen." He said softly. He fully understood that her well-organized answer seemed reasonable, but it was actually avoidance, understatement, and prevarication. Standing motionless in the wind and sand in Beijing for several hours, keeping silent when facing him and Ji Ruoli, leaving Beijing alone to return to her hometown, and avoiding him to go hiking alone, of course this is not simple anger or anger, she probably just gave up .He had a lot of questions stuck in his mind: what were you thinking when you were standing there by yourself?Are you really disappointed in me?What did you write on the front of my car that day?Have you finally wiped me from your heart?But he knew clearly that he had no right to ask any more questions, let alone touch her wound that might have healed. Xin Chen seemed relieved, as if she was satisfied with explaining the matter like this, she gently broke away from his embrace, and backed away a little, "Let's talk about it, don't talk about the past, especially don't drag me In the entanglement between you and your fiancée, my self-cultivation is still not good, I am afraid I don't have much patience to explain it to others repeatedly." "There's nothing more you need to explain. I will clean up all the troubles I caused." Xin Chen nodded, "That's good, it's getting late, I'll go home first, goodbye." Before she could turn around, Lu Fei stretched out a hand to stop her again, "When I can face you again, Xiaochen, let's start again, shall we?" Xin Chen looked at him with wide eyes, and she smiled politely after a long time, "This is not a good proposal, Lu Fei, I have already said that there is no need to bring up the past." "What you don't want to mention, I promise I won't ask any more questions." "But when it comes to starting again, can we act as if we didn't know each other before, and nothing happened, and do it again?" She shrugged, "No, Lu Fei, you probably haven't changed, you're still the same as before, but I can I really can’t pretend to be an innocent girl.” "Do you think I'm a pedophile and like little girls? What I love is you, Xiaochen, the previous you, the current you, just you." Xin Chen was slightly shocked, and unconsciously clenched her fingers holding the food bag tightly. She clearly remembered that when they were together, the boy who was restrained beyond his age never said love to her, he was just in love like that. He looked at her carefully and cared for her, but she was full of confidence at that time, enjoying his tenderness calmly, and didn't need to ask for words to affirm her possession.Today, when everything has changed, she ushered in a late confession, and her nails were unknowingly embedded in her palm. Lu Fei continued: "I have always been dull, and I take my feelings too reserved, always thinking that there are some things that don't need to be said. If you didn't kiss me when I was 15 years old, I don't know what I would miss in my life. Now I I am not qualified to ask you any more, I just want to ask you to give me a chance." "You may not be a child lover, but your understanding of me is indeed at the age of 15." Xin Chen narrowed his eyes and smiled again, "Yes, I was crazy enough at that time. As long as I like it, I don't A bit hesitant to conclude that other people feel the same as me. I don't regret being so crazy, but you can't live like I'm 15 years old. I'm 25 years old, Lu Fei, and I have been in love many times, and even discussed it with people The possibility of getting married. We haven't seen each other for more than seven years. The time in Beijing doesn't count. You say you love me now, and I can only say thank you. Sorry, my love is not so strong and cannot stand the test of time and distance. And you should remember that there is one thing I have never changed, I still don't have the habit of standing still and waiting for people to turn around." "Xiaochen, look at me now, a man who is almost 30 years old, has always loved a girl, but lost her again and again, and at the same time let down another person, making others and his life messy, you Do you think I will be arrogant enough to ask you to wait for me where you are?" Xin Chen stared at him, his face was still clear and clear, and his handsome facial features had a mature charm, but his expression was anxious and bitter, his brows were slightly frowned, and there was a faint blue stubble on his chin, she couldn't compare this face with The gentle and jade-like boy in my memory overlapped, and I could only smile, "You let your sense of guilt flood, mess yourself up, and even cancel the engagement to make up for me. But I don't think you have anything to feel guilty about, I don't even think I need compensation. Whether you treat your fiancée like this is fair is none of my business, but it's not fair to me to compensate me with a relationship I don't need. " "Guilty? I admit that I have, but do you think my feelings for you are as simple as a little bit of guilt?" Lu Fei looked at her and said softly, "Don't rush to draw conclusions about my feelings, Xiaochen, and don't rush either. Just refuse me, give me some time." Xin Chen laughed hoarsely, "Don't ask me for time, Lu Fei, I can't give it to you. Your suggestion is not attractive to me, my age is not in vain, I am not the one who needs to hold on to someone for safety What a sexy little girl. Now that I am in love with someone, I want to be happy and happy. To you, this feeling is too heavy, I can’t afford it, so let’s forget it.” Lu Fei held her hand, pulled her tightly clenched fingers away one by one, took the food bag, and looked at her hand, which was still slender, but there were a few deep crescent-shaped nail marks on the palm. She raised her hand and put it on her lips and kissed gently, "No matter what you want, I will try my best to give it to you. If I can't meet your requirements after I work hard, you can refuse me, what? Any time, any reason, I will accept." "I just said that when I grew up, I never allowed myself to be an uninvited guest in other people's lives. Similarly, I don't welcome uninvited guests in my life." Xin Chen pulled his hand back, tired and helpless. , "I can't control your decision, but I can tell you clearly that I will not change my plan for you. What do you want, I'm sorry, that's all your business." When Lu Fei knocked on the door and came in, he looked depressed. Xin Di had accumulated a lot of problems, but seeing his appearance, he could only sigh, "Chenzi has not returned from working overtime in April Garden, she went to Beijing to find you, you Don't you know?" "I didn't recognize her." Lu Fei was silent for a while, and said simply. Xin Di recalled the photos on Yan Xuhui's blog, and was speechless for a while. Of course, Beijing has a big clothing fair plus fashion week at the end of March every year. She went there every year from her sophomore year to her work, and caught up with There were two sandstorms, the streets were full of loess, all the people were tightly wrapped, wearing big masks and sunglasses, in the words of a girl from the Somei design department who looked at herself in the mirror before going out: "My mother didn't see it either. I can recognize my daughter." There was a vent in front of the hotel where they lived, and when they came out to wait for a taxi, the petite girl was caught off guard and was slapped against the wall by the wind, and the colleague next to her laughed wildly when she saw it, and then covered her mouth Not enough, it's already full of sand. If the masked photo hadn't been hung in Yan Xuhui's diary, she wouldn't have recognized it as Xin Chen.After she called Lu Fei in the afternoon, she immediately called Yan Xuhui to ask the teacher: "Old Yan, I was also on a business trip in Beijing three years ago, and we met almost every day at the National Exhibition and Fashion Week. Didn't you tell me that Chen Zi went to Beijing?" After Yan Xuhui figured out what she was talking about, he called Qu: "Xinchen didn't let me tell. She interviewed everywhere as soon as she came, and said that she must find a good job before telling you. Who would have thought that she would go back after finding a job?" , and let me not mention to you that she has been to Beijing." Xin Di was speechless, of course she knew the quiet stubbornness behind Xin Chen's usual cheerfulness, Yan Xuhui sighed over the phone, "To tell you the truth, Xin Di, I really wanted to keep her at that time, so I told you She confessed that I like her and hope she will be my girlfriend and stay in Beijing. I will definitely cherish her, but she just shook her head and said that if she can't give the same affection, she won't just perfuse other people's sincerity .” Putting down the phone, Xin Di was naturally not in a good mood. David Fan called and said that he would pick her up for dinner, but she also angrily pushed her away. Lu Fei sat with her for a while and was about to leave. Xin Di knew that he must be going out to wait for Xin Chen, so she didn't want to keep her, "I'm not sure if it's right to dig out Yan Xuhui's blog from three years ago to show you. It's obvious that Chen Zi doesn't want others to mention this matter again." Lu Fei dejectedly said, "I know, but what I want to ask is not her forgiveness, she has been burdened by herself for so long, no matter what, it's my turn." Seeing him going downstairs, Xin Di saw that his handsome and upright figure in the past seemed lonely, so she could only conclude again that she didn't know what complicated and entangled feelings meant to others, but to her, it was indeed something to avoid. it is good. She took a shower and changed into pajamas, made popcorn in the microwave, poured a small glass of red wine, and nestled on the sofa to watch fashion shows one after another, with the drawing board on her lap and the pencil in her hand. Draw it down.This is her weekend repertoire, and she has always felt that this is the most comfortable and relaxing way, more relaxed than any date. Xin Chen took the key to open the door and walked in, handed the food bag to Xin Di, Xin Di cheered, took out a Hardou and ate it, "I like the Hardou from this store the most, and I'm always too lazy to buy it. Hey, you He looks very tired, is this guy Lao Yan rushing too hard?" "It's okay, he has a lot of contracts in his hand, of course he has to catch up. After finishing shooting the part of April Garden in the past few days, it's time to enter the studio." Xin Chen sat next to her, picked up an egg tart and ate it, "I don't have to follow all day." Xin Di turned the pencil between her fingers and looked at a sketch sketched on the drawing board. The simple face was still Xin Chen, with full eyebrows and eyes. Xin Chen, who was calm as if he had no emotional ups and downs beside him, was a little puzzled.Is she really Xin Chen?Is it the 16-year-old Xin Chen who she always thought was invincible in youth, or a phantom living in her imagination of indulgent and willful youth? "What are you thinking about? You didn't pay attention when you were watching the press conference. Instead, you looked at me instead." Xin Chen had long been used to being a model of his cousin, and was not afraid of her scrutinizing eyes. She was really calm, Xin Di sighed and gave up, and had to look at the TV again, suddenly laughed, and signaled Xin Chen to watch too.On the screen was the finale of the fashion show. A thin old man in black wearing sunglasses was hugging left and right to call the curtain. Xin Chen didn't have much idea of ​​fashion, so naturally he didn't know which master it was. "Karl Lagerfeld, known as the 'Caesar' of the fashion world, is over 60 years old, and it is said that he has lost about 40 kilograms in 13 months, and now he is wearing clothes from the brand Dior Homme, which is the favorite of beautiful boys. Only suitable for a telegraph pole body." "You also said that I was self-abuse by climbing the mountain. In my opinion, this old gentleman is cruel enough to himself." "Well, look at him and then look at us, drinking red wine with popcorn, and eating hardwood and egg tarts when I'm about to sleep, I suddenly feel very happy." Xin Chen licked the crumbs of the egg tart on his fingers, and admitted that she was right, "Yes, I have always thought that if the requirements are not high, it is not difficult to find happiness. As long as you don't deliberately make things difficult for yourself, then you will turn yourself into a tragedy." The probability is relatively low.” "But the requirements are not high, will you miss people and things that are more worthy of investment?" "Anyway, the bigger you get, the more you know that putting in is not an easy task. Since you can't do it, why bother to miss it? I don't worry about it anymore." She stood up and stretched her waist, "I'm going to take a shower." "Chenzi—" Xin Chen looked down at her, but she didn't know what to say. Xin Chen suddenly understood, and said with a smile: "So, you have also read Yan Xuhui's blog, and I seem to be the only one who hasn't read it. His habit of expressing emotions and exaggerating, I really don't know how desolate I am." , to die for." "Fortunately, when it comes to you, he is quite restrained and reserved. Chenzi, why don't you want me to know about going to Beijing?" "Actually, it's nothing to say now, it's just my pride," Xin Chen said in a relaxed tone, "I just wanted to find a good job before telling everyone, but then I came back in disgrace, so there's no need to talk about it." Xin Di looked at her and smiled, "You know? Chenzi, sometimes I really think, if you don't say it, I don't seem to have to ask you any more. For any question, you have a ready-made, very fluent answer." answer." Xin Chen was stunned, and touched his face, "I didn't blush, it's scary. I promise to God, Dizi, I didn't mean to be perfunctory." "I understand, I understand, you are not perfunctory me, but I am really a little suspicious, you are perfunctory yourself." Xin Chen stood on the spot, turned his head to think about it, and smiled wryly, "Yeah, I don't know if I really don't care, or I just pretended to coax myself over." Xin Di couldn't stand her self-reflection, her beautiful face showed helplessness and resignation, so she waved her hands in defeat, "Come on, go take a shower. Go to bed early, I can rest tomorrow, but you still have to suffer from Yan Xuhui exploitation." "By the way, Dizi, I won't be staying for a long time, why did you go to such trouble to buy a new bed?" She used to live here occasionally, and used a dual-purpose sofa in the study room as a bed, but when she came here for the first time last night, she found a brand new wrought-iron bed inside, and a full set of light beige latex mattresses. Xin Di came back late yesterday, so she didn't bother to ask about the bedding. Xin Di laughed and said, "I didn't buy it." Xin Chen went to work yesterday after disposing of her household belongings. Her computer equipment, clothes and the imperial couch were all delivered to Xin Di’s house by Lu Fei. Of course, she would not be so stupid as to ask who bought it, she could only shake her head. Get pajamas. Xin Di's cell phone rang, and she picked it up to see that it was David Fan, who answered lazily, "Hi, hello." "Are you asleep? Come out on the balcony." Inexplicably, Xin Di walked up to the small curved balcony with her mobile phone. She lived on the second floor. When she looked down, she saw David Fan leaning on the side of the car in the yard, looking up at her. She admitted that the moonlight was like underwater , the tall and straight man looked quite pleasing to the eye, "What the hell, why are you running here so late?" "Come down, I'll take you for a ride." "I've changed into my pajamas and I'm going to sleep." "I see, wearing such baby-toothed pajamas really doesn't fit your identity as a designer." Xin Di couldn't help laughing. She is small, and she bought this pajamas from the children's clothing department of a certain brand when she was on a business trip in Hong Kong despite being teased by her colleagues. The pink color, combined with her favorite rose pattern, is not sexy at all, it is really young, "I just want to be happy when I wear it." "Well, I'm happy to see it." David Fan smiled, "Come down, don't need to change clothes, let's go out for a walk, and I promise to send you back properly." His voice was slightly drawn out, and he seemed to be holding back a little smile, and it was a little seductive.Xin Di's determination not to entangle with him just now was shaken, and she despised herself a little, but then she thought, hey, on such a depressing night, why should she refuse the pastime that came to her door?As soon as this thought came to her, she couldn't help but blush, but she couldn't help but ignore him, "Okay, wait a minute." She went back to her room anyway, put on a long white silk shirt over her pajamas, and said to Xin Chen: "I brought the key, you go to bed first, don't wait for me." Xin Chen smiled and nodded, Xin Di put on the flip flops and went downstairs to David Fan's car. He started the car and went out of the yard. When he looked sideways, he saw her face was flushed, and her eyes were staring at the front in a daze. , he was fully prepared to coax her, but she seemed to be in a good mood at the moment, not as angry as when she answered the phone in the afternoon. "What are you thinking?" "The most memorable time I went out late at night was when I was 18 years old." Xin Di lowered the car window, tilted her head on the back of the seat, blowing the wind, "My parents were on a business trip, and my uncle took Chenzi and me out for a midnight snack. Only then did I realize that there were so many people wandering outside without sleeping at night." It was a night that she remembered deeply. At the age of 18, she discovered for the first time that the city was not as orderly as her mother had arranged. After 11 o'clock, everyone turned off the lights and went to bed and went straight to sleep.The place Xin Kaiyu took their sisters to was very lively, every stall was buzzing with people, people sitting mixed with various accents talking, and from time to time there were flower girls and singers interspersed to solicit business, floating in the air With the spicy and stimulating aroma of the food, she didn't have much impression of what she ate, only that she was still excited after returning home, and she tossed her head dizzily on the bed for a long time before falling asleep. After college, she was relatively free, and she also had a midnight snack with her classmates, but she didn't like the greasy food and the noisy environment, so she was too lazy to go out after losing the novelty of the first time. When she was 28 years old, she was only imaginative in design, but she always lived a life of rules and regulations. In the past, her mother controlled her even if she went out to the canteen to buy a bag of salt. She had to be neatly dressed. Later, she even lived alone. , but without the urge to indulge oneself wantonly.It was the first time in the dead of night that she wore pajamas and came down to a date with a man. Thinking of this, her heart beat faster. David Fan has always been used to being free and easy, and thought it was funny, "It seems that your family education is really strict," Xin Di naturally understood the implication, and squinted at him, so he had no choice but to continue, "Very good, girls like this are better, I prefer Annoying crazy girl." Xin Di snorted, and didn't bother to remind him. As far as she could remember, many of his former girlfriends were crazy girls, and a talented senior sister made gestures to him frequently but didn't get a response.In the quiet late night, the car was driving smoothly on the wide road, and the cool evening wind was blowing in front of you. All the troubles seemed to go with the wind, and there was no need to bring up those disappointing topics. "Where do you want to go?" "I don't know, is it okay to drive straight ahead?" David Fan smiled, "Then I'll go directly to the expressway out of the city. This looks a bit like elopement." "Yes, the moon is white and the wind is clear, neither hot nor cold, it is indeed a suitable weather for elopement." She had a naughty thought, "Where do you think we should elope?" "Anywhere is fine, as long as it's with you." David Fan answered very frankly. Xin Di leaned back in the chair and laughed loudly, "If you think about it a little bit before you say it, it will appear more sincere, but you promised without any struggle, I changed my mind, if we don't get on the expressway, we will walk along Binjiang Road Let's go, the wind blowing by the river is really comfortable." David Fan drove the car to Jiangtan Park and stopped near the city, and the two got out of the car. It was very quiet here, there was no one around, and the wind was blowing so loudly that the big shirt on Xin Di fluttered. He hugged her behind him, "I thought about it a little bit, it seems that after I kiss you every time, you will be easier to talk." Before she could speak, his lips were burning hot on her neck, followed by one tight kiss after another, she didn't remember how she turned around in his arms, how her arms wrapped around his waist , she responded with forgetfulness.