Chapter 15 Chapter Fourteen Time Is My Religion

This is the only Orthodox church in the local area. It was built in the early Republic of China and was hidden in a mess of residential buildings. After the Russians left one after another, the church was gradually abandoned.A wedding company rented this place, and after renovation, it was converted into a Western-style wedding chapel. Lin Yueqing set up the tripod and photographed the exterior of the Russian architectural style from various angles. He has slight regrets. This church building is quite distinctive, but it has been trimmed to bright and gaudy colors. It doesn’t have much old-fashioned flavor, but probably It's better than being left alone and dying.

He put away the tripod and walked in, only to see that there were glass windows on the four walls and the ceiling inside, which were transparent and bright. Xin Chen was sitting in the last row of seats, staring at the cross in front of him in a trance. Lin Yueqing put the camera bag aside and sat beside her, "What are you thinking, Hehuan?" "After I came back from Qinling, the first job I found was as an assistant in a photography studio. On the first day of work, I came here to photograph a couple getting married. It was also very hot that day, and the priest presiding over the ceremony kept talking. Speaking of Jesus, the bride's makeup is almost gone." Xin Chen smiled and said, "Oh, I don't know what happened, but I just think of the scene that day when I sit here."

At that time, Xinchen stayed in the hospital in Xi'an for nearly a week, and then insisted on leaving the hospital to buy a train ticket to go home. He called his uncle to report his safe return, and then lay at home for a whole day, neither wanting to eat nor move. When the sun was setting, the smell of food wafted from the neighbor's house, but it made her even more sick.She thought, it's really strange that she swallowed compressed biscuits in the rain when she was trapped in the deep mountains, and she didn't respond when she was lying in the hospital and eating canteen meals.

She finally ordered herself to get up, lay down on the window sill and looked outside.There is no flue in the houses in this old residential area. Everyone’s kitchens use the smokeless stoves that were once popular in this city. The exhaust fans installed on the windows draw out the oily fumes to the outside, and there are long greasy traces under each exhaust fan.When it’s time to cook, there are all kinds of smells in the residential area, and the sound of stir-fry is one after another, full of human fireworks.Xin Chen raised her head slightly, and saw the flock of pigeons being fed by Master Lu flying past. They flew and circled, passing her sight repeatedly at almost the same angle.

In front of her was the usual scene she had been used to since she was a child. Coming back from such a magnificent and dangerous place as the Qinling Mountains, such an ordinary scene also had a different meaning. Remembering the promise she had made to her uncle on the phone yesterday, she cheered up and changed her face. Clothes went downstairs to buy something to eat. The next day, Xin Chen started looking for a job, and accepted the first job that hired her almost without choice. Of course, this was also a part-time job that she was familiar with when she was in college. Reflectors, sometimes with makeup assistants to quickly touch up the bride's makeup.

At that time, the church had just been renovated, and the colors were brighter than it is now, and there were blooming roses everywhere, beaming with joy.I don’t know if the couple believe in religion or not, but they follow the Western etiquette. The priest who presides is also very hardworking, preaching the true meaning of marriage at length, such as not to love impulsively, to cultivate yourself to be a good partner, to be clear about the goals of life, comprehend the will of God.His resonant voice resonated in the church, and the momentum was quite seductive, but Xin Chen only felt tired. She didn't know whether it was because her body had not fully recovered, or it was the hot weather, the dazzling colors everywhere in the church, and the reverberating sermons that made her feel tired. She feels bad.

Finally the priest began to talk to the bride and groom and asked them to exchange rings.Suddenly she couldn't hold it anymore, and handed over the reflector to her colleagues, and sat in the last row, looking at the tearful bride and the applauding guests from a distance, thinking that she would have to watch this scene repeatedly in the future, I couldn't help but shuddered and almost collapsed. Of course, she was overthinking. There are not many local people who choose church weddings, and her image processing ability quickly won her a post-production position, so she no longer has to follow the photographer to attend such scenes that caused her strong discomfort. .Thinking about it now, I just feel that the reaction at that time was quite absurd and ridiculous, "I still thought that I would never come here if I could not come here in the future, but sitting in the same position today, I feel very peaceful and peaceful in my heart, how strange."

Lin Yueqing also smiled, "Do you believe in religion?" Xin Chen shook his head and said, "I don't believe it. Sometimes I think, if I have a belief, would it be easier to achieve peace of mind." "You're calm enough, Hehuan, not as calm as a girl of your age." Lin Yueqing looked at her with a smile, "I was already impressed by this when I was hiking on Taibai Mountain." "I admit, I'm pretending, Yueqing, I'm actually very scared, but I'm even more afraid that my fear will frighten you, or restrain you, and make you give up your chance of escape. After all, you were still a child at the time. what."

"Again, I was almost 20, not a kid." Xin Chen laughed straight, "Well, child, you are not a child." Lin Yueqing smiled helplessly, and looked sideways at her, "Hehuan, you don't have to pretend to be in front of me, especially now, you don't have to act happy." Xin Chen was surprised, "Yueqing, I have nothing to pretend to be with you. I'm really not unhappy now, but since you said that," she leaned her head on his shoulder, "Just let me rely on you. I don't know What did you do, it's really tiring, more tiring than climbing the mountain for six hours in a row."

On Taibai Mountain, the two were sitting in the tent. The shower outside had just stopped, and there was a thin layer of mist everywhere. When Lin Yueqing rejected Xin Chen's proposal to let him go alone, she was silent for a long time and leaned her head against each other in the same way. It reached his shoulder, but immediately lifted it up, asking if it hurt his wound.Thinking of the past, Lin Yueqing smiled slightly. "Why are you tired, because of Lufei?" He asked her softly. Xin Chen smiled annoyedly, "Hey, why does everyone conclude that I should have something to do with him?"

"Lufei loves you, Hehuan. He went on a business trip to the United States a few months ago, and went to my dormitory with my little cousin. After seeing your photo, I realized that you were in danger on foot. At that time, he happened to come back to the local area. Ready to find you, you just missed it." "Did he tell you that? But it's not a miss at all. We've already gone on different paths. It doesn't make sense to meet again." "So you went on a hike just to avoid him?" "Oh my God, you actually think like this. I hope he doesn't reason like this. No, Yue Qing, I wouldn't go out of my way to find a chance to kill myself just to avoid someone. That would be ridiculously hypocritical. Not to mention it almost dragged you down. I used to be self-willed, but I was really not self-willed to the point of disregarding my own and other people's lives. I was just in a bad state during that time, tired of the job at that time, and I didn't want to see him, so I was going to Just find a place to relax, the only mistake is not being prepared." "On Taibai Mountain, you fell into a coma with a fever and kept calling his name to tell him not to leave, He Huan, don't lie to yourself." Xin Chen sat up straight suddenly, turned her head and stared at Lin Yueqing, "Really?" Seeing Lin Yueqing's affirmative expression, she bit her lip, thought for a long time before smiling wryly, "I don't know, I'm so sick " She suddenly realized something, raised her hand to cover her mouth, "You won't tell Lu Fei about this too, will you?" Lin Yueqing smiled and said: "I really said, he must ask for details, so well, if he failed you, then he deserves some conscience." Xin Chen's expression fluctuated, and after a while, he shrugged, "Yueqing, he and I are not acting in a soap opera, and no one has failed the other, but he is going to study abroad, and I said we should break up, and then go our separate ways, which is normal. This misunderstanding is too ridiculous, no wonder he looked at me with guilt and remorse, I hope he didn't dump his girlfriend for this reason, I can't bear the responsibility." "Don't you love him?" "Yueqing, did you love anyone when you were 15?" Lin Yueqing thought about it seriously, "I matured late, and I was very pure when I was 15 years old. Someone wrote me a love letter, and I had a vague affection for a girl, but it seems that I can't call it love." "When I was 15 to 18 years old, I loved someone. I loved him so much that I couldn't bear to let him go. I just hoped to occupy him, regardless of everything else. In the end, I knew I couldn't keep him, and I didn't want to pretend to be magnanimous. Good memories for him." She chuckled softly, "Now that I think about that toughness, I feel strange, and I don't understand why it is so natural to think that others should change their life plans for themselves." "But in my opinion, it's a wise choice to change the plan for the one you love. Whether it's work or study, no one is more important than your lover." "Look, I still have to call you kid, you think the same way I did when I was 17." "Does growing up mean learning to trade off love? I think it's sad to grow up like this." "Yeah, I'd like to be justified like that all the time, but I've grown up sadly, and I can forgive everything all of a sudden, and of course I can't have such a strong love and hate anymore. Do you know what I mean? We all return If you don’t go to the past, if you ask me if I love him or not, I can only say that I have loved him, that’s all.” "Hehuan, I hope you are happy, don't get stuck in memories and suffer yourself in vain." "Memories are very important to me. Without those memories, it's like living a certain period of time in vain, but don't worry, I can clearly distinguish memories from reality. Maybe I had a little ridiculous delusions for a while, but at least three years Before now, I have fully figured it out." Xin Chen looked at the direction of the cross and smiled, "Thank you for the almighty time, for me, time is my religion." "It's a good thing that you decided not to be bound by memories, but Hehuan, why do I hear it so desolate?" Xin Chen turned his head and saw the transparent light from the dome of the church coming down. Lin Yueqing's young face was radiant and moving, his eyes were bright and clear, full of concern. She smiled and raised a hand to touch his hidden black jade. Glossy hair.Lin Yueqing turned away, grabbed her hand, and said with feigned anger, "You're here again to pretend to be an elder and take advantage of me." Xin Chen smiled and leaned back on the chair, "A girl who falls in love with you and is loved by you will be very happy, Yue Qing, I'm jealous of her good life in advance." Lin Yueqing looked at her, smiled too, and still held her hand, "This is telling me, won't you fall in love with me?" "You are my most trusted friend, Yueqing. I cherish our friendship, so I won't harm it with something as fragile and perishable as love." "Hey, I haven't started to love someone properly, but you're talking about love in such a horrible way." "Loving someone well is a wonderful thing, Yueqing, it's worth trying." Xin Chen looked up at the dome of the church, and she narrowed her eyes slightly under the stimulation of the light, "But to love well, you need the ability to love. I probably I don’t have that ability anymore, I can make do with people who are not demanding, talk about love, find some fun. But if I want love from you, it’s like pulling you and not letting you go to try to escape when I’m trapped on Taibai Mountain Chances are even more shameful." "What is this called?" Lin Yueqing was surprised, "You are only 25 years old, and you say you have no ability to love? Everything is possible, don't rush to judge your future life." Xin Chen withdrew his hand, stretched his waist greatly, stood up, and said with a smile: "I should say this to you, kid. Yes, let's not rush to judge the future, Yueqing, especially It's you, enjoy life." The two went out, photographed a few other buildings, and as the light faded, they strolled home.I didn't expect that the residential area was more lively than in the afternoon. People who came home from get off work also joined the discussion. Some people made emotional and impassioned speeches, and some whispered to each other. This scene is something Xin Chen has never seen before living here for more than 20 years. of.They were about to walk in through the crowd, but a fat middle-aged woman called Xin Chen: "Hey, you live on the fifth floor of that building, come here and sign the joint letter, let's demand higher standards together." demolition compensation." Xin Chen hastily scanned the content, signed his name and room number, and turned his head to signal Lin Yueqing to walk into the corridor to go home. "Are you going to fight with them? I heard that domestic nail households are very powerful now, and their methods are all kinds of strange." Lin Yueqing put down his camera bag, not worried at all that this project was developed by his uncle's Haotian Group, but felt that this matter Interesting. Xin Chen shook her head, she didn't plan to delay here any longer, "I plan to wait until the compensation standard for demolition is determined, as long as it's not outrageous, I'll accept it right away." "Then you still signed to support them?" Lin Yueqing was surprised, he had a bit of a foreigner's temper, and didn't quite understand that Xin Chen regarded signing as a trifle. "If I don't sign, she will drag me and talk endlessly. Moreover, I do support them to strive for higher compensation as much as possible, but I don't plan to spend more here." Lin Yueqing looked at her seriously, "Hehuan, are you in a hurry to leave this city?" "Don't worry, I won't go anywhere until I get the money, and you're going back to the United States next week, right? I'm sure I'll leave after seeing you off." "Play with me again and talk about him." "Hey, don't show off your idioms. I just don't understand. Every time I answer seriously, people think I'm perfunctory. Could it be that my credit is so bad? Yueqing, my plan is very clear. From now on, no I will take on a long-term job again, and I will apply for a passport when I find time. As soon as the demolition funds are issued, I will start to deal with unnecessary things, and sell what I can give away. After I get the money, I will go to Kunming to live for a while. For a while, let’s go around the surrounding area and see if there are any job opportunities. If we have no other arrangements, let’s meet in the Czech Republic next year.” She spoke in such detail that Lin Yueqing smiled happily, "Hehuan, then we've made a deal." Xin Chen's cell phone rang, she picked it up to have a look and answered: "Hello, Xu Hui." After a pause, she said casually, "No, let's talk about it another day, I'm tired today." Yan Xuhui put away his mobile phone, and seeing Xin Di's half-smile, couldn't help but be amused, "Just say what you want to say." "Old Yan, if I tell you not to provoke my Chenzi again now, it's entirely for your own good. You are an old man, so why would you feel hurt?" "Hey, I just invited her out for dinner, okay? Back then I really wanted to pursue her, but unfortunately you took a picture of me just as soon as I showed my thoughts. If it weren't for you, Xin Chen would have been my girlfriend long ago, which made me feel sad for nothing. So many years." The waiter was bringing up the simple meals they ordered. Xin Di grabbed the black pepper steak in front of her and sneered, "You can just go all out and masturbate, because you can catch up with my sister." David Fan suppressed a smile and patted Yan Xuhui's shoulder. Just as he was about to speak, KEN laughed first and said, "Sandy is a sister lover, and she has unlimited confidence in her cousin." Yan Xuhui laughed, "KEN, you are too incisive." Xin Di glared at them, but also smiled, admitting that she was partial to Xin Chen to a certain extent.David Fan looked at her with a smile, "Don't worry, your Xin Chen is also a fan of sisters. He even told me during the day that I may not be able to catch up with you even if I clean my hands and feet. You two sisters speak exactly the same, and there is really a tacit understanding." The three men laughed in unison, and Yan Xuhui patted David Fan on the shoulder in turn, "Old Dai, Old Dai, you are finished, and you actually want to pursue Xin Di, just wait for a bump." No matter how nonchalant Xin Di was, she blushed rarely, took a knife and fork to cut the steak, and said bitterly, "I've never seen such a gossiping man like you." All joking aside, after the meal, several people re-entered the working state. Naturally, they were fully engaged and kept busy until the store closed. Finally, the general frame of the album shooting was determined. Although they are used to staying up late, they are also a bit tired. meaning.Walking out of the April Garden, AKEN and Yan Xuhui got into the taxi, and David Fan took Xin Di to his parking place. There were few pedestrians on the road. Near the end of August, the evening wind finally brought a little coolness, and David Fan took Xin Di's hand at some point.Walking in the silent midnight street, there is a tall man beside him, his hand is wrapped in a large and callused palm, watching him control the pace of his long legs and keep walking with him, Xin Di thought, wondering if this peaceful and joyful state can be regarded as being in love, but it seems to taste pretty good anyway.But even this is not sure, she is a little self-deprecating, it seems that the previous few love affairs have been in vain, there are not many memories and experiences, and there are really not many things that can be remembered now. "What are you thinking about?" "Wei Fan, how long have you been in love with someone the longest?" David Fan couldn't help looking at Xin Di vigilantly, feeling that this question was really a trap.If he said he had never been in love for a long time, of course he would appear to be ungrateful and ungrateful, coupled with a bad criminal record, he could be kicked away immediately; but he can't make up a deep and meaningful example now, and There will be endless troubles.According to his understanding, when a girl's love is strong, she will inevitably think about the past. At that time, Xin Di will come to ask again: "Since you love her so much, why did you separate?" "Do you still think about her now?" Then he You can also die directly. Before he could finish his thoughts, Xin Di sighed, "You probably won't love someone for a long time, alas, that's fine, it's scary to get emotionally entangled." David Fan was confused, "Who said love has to be entangled? Obviously it can be a very happy thing." What Xin Di recalled at this moment was the scene in the afternoon. Her good friend Lu Fei had such profound helplessness on his always calm face; Angry and anxious; and Xin Chen, who looked as if nothing had happened, but clearly experienced something that he didn't want others to know.They had probably been in love for a long time, but they couldn't be called happy now. She lowered her head, only to see the street lights pulling her and David Fan's figure behind for a long time, and projecting to the front for a while, the high heels she wore rhythmically knocked on the sidewalk, making small and crisp sounds, occasionally a car Passing past them in a hurry adds to the feeling of melancholy in the dead of night. David Fan looked at her sideways, not understanding her sudden silence, but somehow knew that her question just now was not intended to inquire about his past love history, and now her mind was wandering elsewhere, and she might have completely forgotten that he was by her side.The two had already reached the place where he parked. Xin Di walked to the passenger seat absent-mindedly, and took her into his arms around his hand. Xin Di collided with his strong body, and she came back to her senses. She looked up, and saw the streetlight cast light and shadow on the handsome face in front of her through the gaps in the leaves, making his nose bridge more and more prominent. Every line was full of temptation, his face slowly lowered towards her, his lips pressed against hers, and the arms around her waist held her tightly against his body. This was the first time the two kissed after drinking in Hong Kong. David Fan skillfully pried open her lips and teeth, and drove straight in. Xin Di felt her heart beating wildly, and her whole body felt numb and weak. Just thinking about it, her body reacted It's really dangerous to lose to this guy so honestly.The dizziness caused by the lack of oxygen supply to the brain made her want to stop, but she was also a little bit reluctant. She didn't allow her to think too much, his kiss went deeper and deeper, and he tossed and sucked. She responded without any other consciousness. He moved his lips, kissed her neck all the way, and then leaned into her ear, "To my place or yours?" Her heart was beating wildly, and for a moment she couldn't figure out what the words meant, so she hummed vaguely.David Fan took out the car key and pressed the remote control to open the door. The beeping sound came loudly in the quiet night. She suddenly came to her senses and understood what David Fan was suggesting. Find each mother." Her face was flushed with heat, and her breath was still a little disturbed, but after she said this, David Fan was annoyed by her, and he held her tighter with his arms, and looked at her with squinted eyes, "Are you scared?" Pressing against his body through thin clothes, he embraced her hotly and tightly, her head was in chaos, and after a long time, she raised her hand to support the strong muscles in his chest, "You yourself also have the tendency to run away Is it a good time?" David Fan was very embarrassed when he was told, "Forget about that, let's start over." "We have work to be done together now, and I don't want to mix up business and private affairs." This reason was so grand that David Fan was a little speechless.He has always known that Xin Di is serious about his work, but he collaborated to shoot a picture book, the designer determined the costumes and shooting ideas, and his planning and production, although he was busy with one thing, really did not conflict with personal feelings. It's just a pretext.He let go of her in frustration, but for a moment he was reluctant to let go, and put his arms around her waist, "The design director and the people from the advertising company secretly communicated the song, what would you say if you knew about it?" Xin Di had calmed down at this moment, and said with a smile: "It's not like I'm going to lose my job, but I'll be happy if I'm told not to review the company's promotional materials from now on." David Fan laughed, "Well, starting from tomorrow, I will pick you up from get off work every day, and Zeng will spare you this hard work sooner or later." David Fan sent Xindi home. She walked into the corridor, turned her head to see his car turn around and drive out of the yard, lazily went upstairs and entered the door to turn on the light. There was a full-length mirror at the entrance of her. After changing her shoes, she straightened up and saw the inside The man's face is like a peach blossom, with a spring-like expression, which can't help but be amused and a little surprised. Xin Di has never been timid, and that night in Hong Kong was just an excuse to cover her face with drunkenness instead of emboldening her courage.It's just that they were in a different place at that time, and David Fan was just a senior she had never paid attention to, and it was just a meeting for a year when he was developing a press conference and watching an exhibition.When her head got hot that time, she thought, maybe it's okay to live until the age of 28 to indulge yourself once, at worst, they will go their separate ways after a night, and it's better to treat them as strangers when they meet occasionally in the future.But now that she has been dating too much, she is actually a little timid. Xin Di leaned back on the sofa, thinking seriously, flirting with a playboy who lives in the same city may not be a big deal, but if it is really like being in love, it seems a bit unworthy to cause trouble for herself.She decided to be more cautious, not to be dazzled by this guy's beauty. Thinking of his beauty, and remembering the firm embrace and the feeling of touching his chest muscles just now, she couldn't help feeling her ears warm again. She concluded that Huaichun, an older woman, is definitely not a good sign. David Fan did what he said, and he really started to pick up Xin Di from get off work the next day.Xin Di has no objection to his being so courteous. Her off-duty time coincides with the shift time of the local taxis, and she has to wait for a long time every time she calls for a taxi. She also thought about taking the driver's license test and buying a car for transportation, but her mother Hearing this, she was startled and said: "You are already scary when you walk without looking at the road. If you drive again, don't you want me to have a heart attack from rheumatic heart disease?" She had no choice but to give up. Xin Di never gets along with herself, and she doesn't care what her colleagues think.When someone came to pick her up, she opened the car door and sat in. She was very calm. When the car parked in the yard, she unfastened her seat belt and said, "Hey, you come up with me." Before David Fan digested the invitation into a feeling of surprise She showed it, and only heard her say: "I have collected a lot of accessories there, you can take them to Lao Yan, I guess the stylist can use them when taking picture albums, so that I don't have to go out to buy them temporarily." David Fan laughed at himself, so he could only go upstairs behind her. Unexpectedly, when he opened the door, Xin Di was shocked—her mother Li Xin was sitting on the sofa watching TV. Li Xin had the key here, and she really liked sneak attacks Checking, she had thought more than once, she probably had to thank her mother for her perseverance so far. Li Xin looked at David Fan suspiciously. He greeted Auntie very attentively. Li Xin nodded. Xin Di quickly ran into her room and took out a storage box containing accessories and handed it to him, "Tell Lao Yan to keep it safe for me." Lost it, bye." David Fan was funny, he understood that she wanted to send him away quickly, and was about to leave, but Li Xin said, "Xiao Dai, since you're here, let's have a bowl of soup together, I just made it." She went to the kitchen, and Xin Di said helplessly, "Yes, then sit down and drink." Li Xin brought out two bowls of soup, and David Fan sipped it, while praising: "Auntie's borscht soup is really authentic, not thick or thin, and has a rich taste, it can be seen that it took time to simmer it out, Not that lazy man's borscht." Li Xin was very pleased with this compliment. She has been working relatively leisurely for the past few years, and she is quite interested in studying cooking skills, but Xin Di is not interested in it at all. I have also studied cooking, and this dish is really not difficult to make, it just takes a lot of work, and I stewed the beef for three hours." David Fan said solemnly: "I am very interested in cooking. I will cook some dishes when I have time some other day and ask my aunt to taste and guide me." Li Xin naturally nodded happily, Xin Di could only secretly stare at him, and signaled him to finish the soup and leave. David Fan didn't want to make her anxious, so he drank the soup cleanly, and then left. Xin Di breathed a sigh of relief, "Mom, just make a phone call and I'll drink it in the past. Why send it here?" "Your father is on a business trip. I will live with you for the next two days. Does your mother not welcome?" Xin Di said with a playful smile: "As soon as you come, I will be lucky, why don't you welcome me?" "Xiao Dai looks good, he is polite and tasteful, and he seems to treat you very well, but this man is too beautiful, which makes people a little worried." Xin Di tried her best to hold back her smile, and said following her words: "Yeah, yeah, I think so too, so I'm going to read more." Putting the blame on David Fan, as to whether he was wronged or not, is out of her scope of consideration. "Yesterday, Aunt Xie called me and said that Lu Fei suddenly broke off the engagement. Do you know what happened?" Li Xin said that Aunt Xie was Lu Fei's mother. She and Li Xin had always had a good relationship. He stayed in the local area again, and when he heard that his son had broken off the engagement, he immediately called her to find out the news. Xin Di swallowed the last sip of soup, and said solemnly: "I don't know, this is very common, isn't there a divorce after marriage? If you don't feel right before you get married, stop immediately. It's good for everyone." "What is this called? Marriage is not a trifling matter. What will it be like to get engaged today and break up tomorrow. I only heard that Lu Fei broke up with his girlfriend, but I didn't expect that they were already engaged and regretted it. Lu Fei has always been very stable. , Does this matter have anything to do with Xiaochen?" "Mom, you're turning your elbows out. Why did you involve Xiaochen in this matter? She hasn't seen Lu Fei for so many years, so why should she have something to do with her? Besides, Lu Fei is also an adult, he I know what I'm doing." "You kid has always been short-sighted in this regard. I didn't pay attention to Lu Fei's look at Xiao Chen's expression during the meal. At that time, I felt that something was wrong. I went back and told your father. He still didn't believe it. Look, something happened. You thanked Auntie for saying that she might come over, alas, if she finds out that Xiaochen did this, your father and I will be ashamed to see her." Xin Di was very annoyed, but knew that she couldn't explain the truth to her mother, "Mom, I have to go out and do some small things, and I won't be back too late." She took her bag and hurried out to hail a taxi, while calling Lu Fei: "Where are you now? I'll be right over." Lu Fei lived in a high-rise duplex apartment of his sister Lu Shi in the city center. He opened the door to welcome Xindi in, and took her to the terrace. There was a bottle of whiskey and an ice bucket on the small table. Obviously, he was drinking alone. relieve boredom. "Is Lu your sister?" "She's going back to Shenzhen for a meeting, come over tomorrow." Lu Fei went to bring her a bottle of fruit wine, and poured half a glass for her. "What the hell are you doing, Lu Fei, it's fine if your ex-girlfriend came over to look for me. I heard that your mother is coming too. I'll tell you what's going on. If Ji Ruoli goes to talk to Chen Zi, Aunt Xie will come and blame her again. She, with her personality, I think you two basically have no hope." Lu Fei leaned on the back of the chair and didn't speak for a long time. Xin Di saw that his face was tired under the light, there was a faint blue shadow under his eyes, and his expression was gloomy. matter." "I have always been so conceited before, but now it seems that I have failed." He moved the corner of his mouth and smiled slightly, "Don't worry, Xiaodi, I have made it clear to Ruo Li that the reason for the breakup is all my own. I brought it up to her as soon as I came back from the United States a month ago. At that time, I didn’t even know if Xiaochen still had a boyfriend. I just thought it would be unfair to Ruoli to continue, and it was none of Xiaochen’s business. I wouldn’t Let her go to Xiaochen, as for my mother, I will persuade her not to come." Xin Di breathed a sigh of relief, raised her wine glass and signaled to him, "Okay, let's drink with you to relieve your worries, and save me from the vain reputation of being crushed by you." Lu Fei smiled wryly, clinked glasses with her, and drank it in one gulp, completely unlike his usual style of drinking slowly. "Lu Fei, I don't understand. Since you like Chenzi so much, why didn't you go back to China to find her earlier? Are you waiting for her to ask you to come back?" Lu Fei shook his head sadly, "I've never been so arrogant, how could Xiaochen speak up on his own initiative?" "So the two of you just went your own way and dragged it off till today." Xin Di had no choice but to reconfirm that the Mensao man was indeed a disaster, "Well, it's not because of my emails that kept you from coming back, isn't it normal for Chen Zi to be pursued by someone?" Is it? You should really contact her directly, if I had known your thoughts earlier, I wouldn't have said everything. " "If she is willing to read the email I wrote to her," Lu Fei paused, slightly dazed, and then shook his head, "No, it's better for her not to read it, I have no right to ask her to wait for me at all." Xin Chen once looked into his eyes and said clearly, "I don't want to see you again." Just afraid of her rejection?Of course, Lu Fei also asked himself.He could only admit frankly that he actually couldn't come back to face Xin Chen in another man's arms. Xin Di's emails to him always casually mentioned that someone was pursuing Xin Chen, especially in the year he got his degree. Xin Di said that Xin Chen had a very good boyfriend, from Northwest China, with a hearty personality and who treated her very well. Lian Xin Kaiming liked the boy very much when he saw him occasionally, saying that he was self-motivated, talented and considerate. After reading the email, Lu Fei said to himself, since she is happy, you have no right to go back and disturb her.After getting the offer from the venture capital company, he moved to New York, rented a small apartment, and traveled to and from the most prosperous metropolitan area in the world. Like every man and woman in a big city around him, he had an expressionless face. Come and go.Then there are business trips in various places, moving from one city to another, looking through the hotel window at different but similar feasting and feasting in different places. When he returned to his New York apartment late at night from Europe and saw Ji Ruoli who had been waiting in the downstairs hall for an unknown amount of time, Lu Fei felt a little guilty.He knew the girl's feelings for him, but he kept avoiding her hints; he tactfully refused her direct confession.Now she flew alone from San Francisco to wait for him, and he felt overwhelmed by such kindness. Lu Fei could only explain apologetically that he was very tired after returning from a business trip. He sent her to the hotel first, and then returned home. He poured himself a glass of wine without turning on the light, and sat alone in the dark tiredly until he fell asleep on the sofa . His dreams have always been as real as if a movie with a sense of reality was replayed in his mind. Clusters of half-withered acacia flowers fell, and pieces of cherry blossom petals as light as snow were blown by the breeze, and the warm wind gently blew The face was caressed by a gentle hand, and a string of laughing words passed by the ear like a silver bell tapping, every word was clear, but no specific meaning could be organized.Sometimes a slender body is nestled in his arms, but he dare not use force, for fear that what he will hug with his hands is only a void... He woke up from his dream, stared at the black ceiling in a daze, and said to himself for the first time, it is better to go back to the country, since there is no way to escape the miss across the ocean. Ji Ruoli told him that she had already applied to enter Columbia University and stayed in New York to continue her studies.He can only say sorry that he has applied to his boss to work in the domestic office and is waiting for a transfer order.He didn't look at Ji Ruoli's suddenly gloomy eyes, and said with a smile: "Columbia University is also a good major, and its ranking is very high." At the end of February three years ago, Lu Fei received an order to return to China as he wished, and began to take over the work of the Beijing office.What he didn't expect was that Ji Ruoli actually flew back to Beijing earlier than him and had already rented a house to live in. She went to pick him up at the airport and said with a smile: "Now that the US economy is in a downturn, I plan to follow the trend and go back to China to try my luck. " Lu Fei clearly knew that her family was in a good position, and the whole family settled in San Francisco early on. She majored in art history, which has no practical value at least in China.如此不舍不弃，他只能苦笑，“你让我惶恐，若栎，我不免要问，自己何德何能？” “我愿意为自己认为值得的目标坚持和等待。”纪若栎这样回答他。 路非无言以对，然而他清楚地知道，他牵挂的却是那个分手时明确对他说既不愿意坚持，也不愿意等待的女孩子。 那天，路非站在拐角的路口等辛辰，四月的天气温暖，他才参加完姐姐的婚礼，从南方回来，夜色下他站得笔直，只听一阵嚣张刺耳的摩托车轰响声由远及近，那几年本地突然多了一群纨绔状的少年，驾着各种款式的摩托车，特意拆去消音器，嚣张地在城市飞驰来去耍酷，有的更相约在深夜赛车，后座多半还载一个打扮入时的女郎，一般市民对他们的做派和弄出的噪声很是厌恶。 一辆本田公路赛摩托以近乎危险的速度驶过来，戛然停在离路非不远的地方，后座上一个背书包的女孩子跳了下来，正是辛辰，她取下头盔递给骑摩托的男孩子，一手整理着头发。 “我送你进去不好吗？” 辛辰的声音是没好气的，“拉倒吧，你这车闹这么大动静，我大妈听到又得说会犯心脏病，把我一通好说。” 那男孩子哈哈一笑，“我明天还是这时间接你。” “你别来了，回头同学看到告诉老师我也麻烦，走吧走吧。” 那男孩将头盔挂在车头，一轰油门，飞快地驶走了。辛辰转身，一眼看到前面站的路非，她将头扭向一边，自顾往前走，路非无可奈何，只能迎上去拦住她。这是两人在他学校门前分手后第一次见面，辛辰没有一点打算搭理他的意思。 “小辰。”他叫她，她抬起眼睛看着他，那张下巴尖尖的面孔上，嘴唇抿得紧紧的，正是她倔强时的标准表情，路非叹气，“以后不要坐这种摩托车，飙车太危险，很容易出意外。” 这显然并不是辛辰想听到的话，她一声不吭绕开他就要走，路非揽住她，“小辰，我要怎么说你才能明白，出国并不代表我要放弃你不喜欢你了，等我毕业……” “可那就代表我放弃了你，路非。”辛辰眼睛中蓄了泪光，却牵着嘴角扯出一个笑，清楚明白地说，“我不等任何人，我不想再见到你了。” 她推开他的手，拔腿就走。如此没有一点转圜余地的坚决，路非只能眼睁睁地看她越走越快，消失在他视线里。他想，竟然就这样结束了吗？她拒绝好好地告别，拒绝再有任何拖泥带水，不要一点关于未来的许诺，所有的反应完全是孩子式的愤怒与负气发作，让他完全无能为力。 隔了大半个月的一个周末，路非突然接到辛笛的电话，她语气急促地说：“路非，你赶紧去市郊的交通支队一趟，把辰子接出来。” “出了什么事？”他一边匆匆跑出宿舍，一边问。 “她刚给我打电话，好像和人去飙车，前面有人出了事故，交警赶过去把他们全扣留了，好多未成年的小孩，都要家长去接。我这会儿刚上火车，去南京领奖，你帮我去接她吧，千万别告诉我爸妈，要不又得骂她了，她最近情绪挺古怪的，大概快高考，压力太大了。” 路非问清地点，叫了辆出租车赶过去，果然那边交通中队院子里停了上十辆颜色型号各异的公路赛，而一个大办公室沿墙根站了一排足有二十来个少男少女，辛辰也站在一边，没什么表情地看着前方。一个队长正在训几个家长模样的人，“太不负责任了，有钱也不能由着小孩这样胡闹，买好几万的摩托跟人飙车玩，我看最好把你们全拖医院去，看看那两个小孩现在伤成什么样了才知道害怕。” 那几个家长自然是点头不迭，连称回去一定严加管教，签字将各自的孩子领走。 路非跟一个交警说来接辛辰，哪知道对方毫无商量地说只能父母来接，同时不客气地讲：“这些女孩子个个鬼灵精，刚才已经有两个男孩子冒充表哥、哥哥来接人，全让我们赶走了。我们也不会拿他们怎么样，关键是叫家长来接，对他们负责。” 路非无可奈何，只能出来打手机给父亲在这边工作时的最后一任秘书，那人当然马上赶了过来，找了中队领导，辛辰被顺利领了出来。 路非和秘书告别，谢绝他送，带了辛辰出来，辛辰转身就要走，他一把拖她站到交通中队门处的宣传栏前，“你好好看看这些照片再说。” 宣传栏上贴的自然是各类交通肇事的现场照片，惨不忍睹。辛辰停止挣扎，直直地站在那儿，脸色惨白地看着，咬着嘴唇不作声。 “你到底想干什么，小辰？今天学校应该有课吧，你又逃学，和这帮人一块鬼混，我已经跟你说了这样很危险……” “和你有什么关系？” 路非彻底被激怒了，厉声说：“好吧，和我没关系，你的生活终究是你自己的事情，不是我的责任。可是你看你的行为，算是能对自己负责吗？” 辛辰转过头，没有血色的面孔衬得眼睛越显幽深明亮，仿佛有两簇小小的火焰在瞳孔中闪动，良久她开了口，一字一字清晰地说：“我不会稀罕当任何人的责任。” 辛辰转身走了，下午的阳光直射下来，她笔直地走着，一个小小的身影拖在身后。路非看着她的背影，放松紧紧握住了的拳头，刚才满腔的怒气突然烟消云散。 他当然不是为她的不理睬生气，他的怒意更多是对自己的无能为力而发。他对自己的决定充满质疑，她到底还是一个心理脆弱的孩子，他却对她越来越不宽容，不知道是被她那样强硬的姿态刺激，还是离别带来的痛楚慢慢以另一种方式占据了他的心，让他再没有以前的耐心和温柔。 接下来，路非不得不准备护照、签证，经常往返于本地、南方父母那边和北京之间。他打电话给辛笛，辛笛告诉他，辛辰最近倒是很安静，再没出去和人玩危险的摩托车，他才略微放心。等他拿到签证从北京回来，辛辰已经结束高考去了昆明她父亲那边。 路非出国前最后一次见过辛辰，仍然是不欢而散，辛辰撕碎他留的邮箱，清楚明白地告诉他，她不准备等任何人，也不想收到邮件。他能清楚地看到她眼中的伤痛，可是她拒绝别人用任何形式去抚慰，宁可任性地纵容自己加深那个痛。 也许他姐姐说得是对的，他们确实需要各自成长的空间，也许时间能帮助她接受现实。他只能黯然踏上北上的飞机，透过舷窗看着下面渐渐变小消失在流动不定云层下的那个城市，他想，不知道三年以后，再见到她，会是什么样的情景。 他完全没想到，这一别就是七年，光阴流水般逝去，带走的与留下的同样让人惆怅，而时间差不多改变了所有的一切。