Chapter 6 Section VI

Sometimes when he was giving lectures, I hugged him on his back. Of course, it hindered his work, but he was not angry. He said: "If you do this again, I will go home. I would rather be at home alone." He treats me like a child. He likes to drink black coffee, smoke a pipe, and lives a very tidy life, but he doesn't like to be touched by others, which is very eccentric.I don't mess with him a lot, sometimes I watch TV downstairs alone, and let him concentrate on work upstairs alone. I remember it was the fourth night and I kept counting the days and I was downstairs watching TV and there was a tragedy going on and I cried and I thought: He's always going, he's always going .

He said behind me, "Joe, what's wrong with you?" "Nothing." I turned my head away. "I have something to tell you." "Come and sit here," I said. He came and put down his pipe. "Joe, I know your family is in a good place, but since you're with me—" He took out his check book. I looked at the checkbook, then at him, and asked with a smile, "Want to buy me?" "Joe, you know I didn't mean that, don't joke." "I have money myself." I smiled, "You are not as rich as I am." "I know, but—"

"Will you put the checkbook back?" I asked. "I'm your professor." "You are my love." "You're naughty and don't respect me anymore." "I respect you so much," I said, "I respect you so much, that's why I advise you to put your check book back." "What do you want? What do you want to give you?" he asked, "tell me." I looked at him and didn't say anything, I didn't want to force him by speaking out, and then he understood, and he didn't make a sound. "I know." He nodded.

"Thank you." I hugged him tightly. "Joe, let me take care of your life—" he said. "Take care of me mentally, don't take out the check book, please don't." He had to slowly hide the checkbook back.I am very happy.I sat next to him and stayed with him all night.Later, he still deposited the check into my account. This was a later thing. He always felt sorry for me and wanted to find a way to compensate. We are happy together, I regard him as an idol.I like to watch him work, he concentrates, rolls up his sleeves, and takes out the large charts one by one to change, the beauty of that kind of appearance is indescribable.

Men are beautiful when they are at work. I yearn for his look. In fact, we didn't go anywhere. Most of us stayed in the house. I became very brisk, chatting and laughing with him, and serving him food. He said: "Joe, looking up from a pile of formulas and numbers and seeing your smiling face is one of the great pleasures in life." Listening to his praise is also the greatest enjoyment. He also loves me, this is a fact, but when people get older, they always have other things in their hearts, and they cannot be free. I braid my hair and he sometimes pulls at the ends of my hair.I made it a point to have a good seven days so that he had a good memory and I had a good one.

In the kitchen I asked him, "What kind of coffee would you like? Ground or fresh?" He laughed, "My daughter—" he couldn't continue. Ah he finally told me about his daughter. I followed up naturally, "Yes, how is she?" He had no choice but to continue, "When she was a child, she said that there are two types of coffee, one that rings and one that doesn't." "How clever," I said, quite insincerely. These parents, their children are sweet about everything, and the children of idiots also have a good talk. They talk about their own daughters to people who have nothing to do with them. This bad habit seems unforgivable.

I know I'm jealous.I know that he is also a mortal, but I always hope that he can really be detached.I won't ask him for a divorce. He should know how to do it. If he doesn't intend to give up his family, it's useless for me to kneel down. I must have been silent for so long that he asked, "Joe? Joe?" I looked up, still smiling. I have a good laugh.I want him to remember: Joe has a good smile. We went to the garden for a long, long time.The weather was still extremely cold. In the morning, the snow hadn’t melted. We kept walking, but the grass was still green and covered with ice. Overcoat, hat and gloves, and a long and thick scarf around his neck, the whole figure looks like a wax gourd.He only wore a thin woolen coat, laughing at me.

I also laugh. The air comes out white. "Bill," I said, "if it's colder, colder, colder, and a girl starts crying, won't her tears freeze on her face?" "Not likely." He laughed. "How romantic, if possible!" I sighed. "You are really unrealistic," he said, "There is no scientific basis, the surface of the human body is constantly dissipating heat, how can tears freeze?" "You scientists!" I said. "You are a child," he said. I put my hand in his pocket, he held my hand, I can still feel the warmth of his hand through the thick gloves, that feeling is extremely sexy.

I raised my head and kissed the root of his ear, and then we hid under the tree and kissed.As long as he is by his side, everything is beautiful.There is also a kind of chic in the gray sky. This probably reminded him of the past, twenty years ago?fifteen years ago?When he fell in love for the first time and fell in love again, the young him and his young lover must have done the same thing. I could see he was happy.He said: "Joe, I shouldn't be too greedy, time can't be turned back, because of you, I enjoy my youth again." In fact, he is not old at all, and when I go out on the street with him, no one will say that he is my father.

We went out for dinner, he ran into an acquaintance, I didn't follow up with interest, I stood aside and pretended to look at the window, so as to save him from embarrassment and trouble. Who knew he was a man after all, a real man, and he called me back, "Joe, I want you to meet Mr. X." He formally introduced me to a friend, and he wasn't afraid. I really love him, I love him because his every action is aboveboard, and I don't feel that he has anything to do to me.He got married, but I was just born when he got married. Am I to blame him?He loves his family because he is a man, and he loves me because he is a man.Ah, no matter what happens in the future, I will never regret it.

If I get him, I don't want anything in this world. But a week passed quickly, he was packing up and leaving, and I helped him pack up.He made a lot of notes here. It was an evening, and I was still very happy when he ate at my place.This week's happiness is picked up, I can't be too greedy, he is leaving. I poured him coffee, and I said, "This is coffee that rings." He just smiled. I changed my mind and asked, "Has the school curriculum changed? Or is it still the same? After all these years, science should improve." "A lot of changes have been made, and the deeper the changes, the students protested that it is not so difficult to really specialize in physics and biology." "Isn't it? You speak so fast, there's no hint at all in the exam, you're so selfless, it's scary!" "Are you afraid of me?" He took my hand. "Funny! Why are you still afraid of you now? I wasn't afraid of you before. I was the one who asked the most questions, and I was also the stupidest one." "You're not paying attention, but your grades are good." "I'm very focused. It's just that your subject is difficult. Fortunately, I am a little interested." "Joe, you should really go on," he said. I stretched out, "I'm not going to study anymore. I'm not a smart student. I only got 70 points when I studied to death. I don't have any chicness. I worked hard. Forget it, I'm not that kind of talent at all." "You're so proud, Joe." He sighed. I looked at him, proud?Or yes, I'm not going to ask him for a divorce. I said softly, "Should you go?" He stood up and I handed him his briefcase. "I'm free," he said, bowing his head. "I'm always waiting for you." I whispered. He kisses my lips. Then I walk him to the door and he's gone. When I came back to the house, I closed the door, and the room felt empty.The room still smelled of his pipes, and for seven days I got used to him, as if at any moment he would call me, "Joe? Joe?" Yet he is gone. It's so lonely in the house.I poured half a glass of brandy, drank it slowly, and turned on the TV again.It was so quiet in the room.The bookshelves are full of books, but how can a book reach a person?How and a person? I am very tired.have to go to work tomorrow. Then the phone rang.Bill?I ran over to listen.Not him, just Peter.Peter asked, "Are you okay? They say you're taking a week off and you're supposed to come to work tomorrow." "Yes." I said, "I remember, don't worry." "Are you all right?" He asked, "How are you doing?" "It's all right, thank you, Peter. How are you, Peter?" "I miss you very much." He confessed naturally. "I'll see you tomorrow." I said. "It's Sunday, it's only half past seven, have you eaten yet?" Peter said. "have eaten." "Would you like to come out for a drink?" "I have a cup in my hand." I smiled, "Are you coming to my house?" "Are you really willing to see me?" He was overjoyed. "Why not? You are my friend." I said, "Welcome." "It's cold outside," he said. "If you're going to go out, put on some extra coats." "You're ready." I said, "I'll see you later." He arrived ten minutes later. Waiting for an irrelevant person is not tense and comfortable.And before he knew it, he came and I opened the door for him. Peter said, "I'm afraid to come to your house." He laughed, "You didn't drink too much, did you?" I know he still remembers what happened last time, and I'm a little embarrassed. "Don't worry," I said, "I won't drink like that again." He said: "I regret that I did nothing that night and went away. You are so beautiful, Jo." I don't know why, but my face turns red and I say, "Peter, please stop talking about that night, please?" Peter just laughed, his face was innocent. I asked, "What girl have you been with lately?" "Several of them. They are all ordinary relationships. I've been waiting for you, and it's not like you don't know about it." He said. "Forget it, Peter, what's so good about me? My family doesn't approve of me dating foreign boys. I don't think I can marry a foreigner. You foreign women do housework like coolies, and you have to go to work to earn salary supplements Home, even talk about liberating women! It’s just a hard mouth. We Chinese women are smart, and men want to be masculine. Let them look good, and we smile and follow behind to enjoy the blessings. What’s wrong? what!" After a long time, Peter said, "The man you like is also British." I suddenly thought of it, and felt ridiculous, so I didn't have time to say: "Ah, I didn't think of it!" "That's all about you, Jo." I smiled wryly, "I'm a fool, sorry." "It's not bad for everyone to be as confused as you." He looked at me and smiled. My face was swollen like a pig's liver, and I said, "Damn you." I like Peter's innocence. He always speaks out what's on his mind without putting on an air. When he's angry, he's really angry, and when he's happy, he's really happy.Bill is also very good... After all, Bill has a city mansion, I am in the light, he is in the dark, I don't know what's on his mind at all, it's hard to please him, but this is my own volition, there is nothing to say or complain about. I thought blankly. Peter shook his hand in front of me, "What are you thinking?" "It's nothing." I said, "It's so late, and everyone has to go to work tomorrow. It's so boring. If you don't go to work, you don't know how to pass the time, alas." "You have a lot of complaints. Joe, you are lonely. How can you hide in the house by yourself and see no one? This is wrong. Come out. Let's find a lot of young people and watch a movie and eat together—" "I do not want to go." "why?" "boring." He said slightly sullenly: "If you persist like this, being a human being is simply boring." He is angry.The size of a man is extremely small. I smiled and watched him remain silent. Men want women to follow them, doing all they can, but a capable man doesn't have to force it, like my Bill Navan, he doesn't have to say anything, I just listen to him. Yet Peter was a child.He thinks what a child thinks. I am indeed lonely, even if my free time is filled, I am still lonely. I said, "I'm tired." He smiled bitterly, "Because my words are boring? I'm sorry, Joe, I want to please you, really, I really want to please you." He said, "Maybe it's too hard, so I'm a little tired." "I'm sorry, Peter, but I can only love one person at a time." "Haha, you can only love one person at a time, that's a beautiful saying, I love that saying so much. Joe, you are so unique." "Don't laugh at me." I lowered my head, "Don't laugh at me." "I'm not laughing at you." He sighed, "I can't please you, it's my fault." "Oh, Peter, we were so happy talking and laughing in the past, why is it like this now? Either I offended you or you offended me, why?" I asked disappointedly. "Because I fell in love with you, love is unrestrained." He said solemnly. "Do not love me." "Don't love you? It's easy to say." Peter cheered up and smiled again.Most of their foreign children are good at this, and they don't like to frown. I couldn't help holding his hand, "Thank you." "Thank me for what?" he asked inexplicably. "Like me, you care too much about me." he laughs. "What's there to thank for this? Thank you so much, you shouldn't thank me for this. If I can control myself, I won't love you." I laughed and imitated his tone, "Wonderful! Peter, this sentence is wonderful. You don't have to love me if you don't love me." He looked at his watch. "I think I have to go," he said. I nodded, "See you tomorrow." I said. He kissed my face at the door saying goodbye. What will my neighbors think when I close the door?The people who come in and out are all foreign men, they will think, this Chinese woman is strong enough. I received a letter from my mother, she asked about my life in detail, and said that she would send someone to see me, she became suspicious, suspecting that I didn’t know what I was doing alone, it happened that a friend’s son was studying, and she invited him Come to me on the weekend, the next weekend, my mother said in a letter. I ignore it. I have somewhere to go this weekend without waiting for this prosecutor. Mom is also true, I am indeed a thief, and I will not let her catch the evidence. What is in the house?Nobody, just me. Having said that, I still feel that the room smells of M. Navan's pipe.he is?still not there?For me, he is everywhere. I sigh, or I did something wrong, I shouldn't be with him.Even if it is with foreigners, Peter is fine. Although he is young and has no money, he can officially marry me. I mockingly thought: It's really worthless, and I ran to be a foreigner's mistress. My mother knew that she would faint immediately, but to quote Peter's words: I can't love him, so I don't love him. But I am happy with him, and I think it is worth it to exchange a little bit of pain for that kind of happiness. I put my mother's letter aside and went to work. I was in a good mood and took the time to wink at Peter, who shook his head and sighed. I was just thinking how happy I would be if I could live with Bill Nafein forever. After work, driving home, it was freezing cold.I picked up the electricity bill last month, and the amount is staggering. The heating is on day and night in the house, and I don't like to smell the cold air when I open the door. The money my mother remitted was only enough to pay the rent, and the money I earned was used for other purposes. There is a deadline for studying, maybe three years, or two years. Right to do that too. I asked myself: "how?" It is not so easy to save, let's put it aside for a while. I opened the letter and found five hundred pounds in the bank statement.My mother, I can't believe my eyes, many of them are already healed, how can there be so much money?After a second thought, it occurred to him that he had put it in.For him, this is really not a small amount.I wondered: for what?To make him feel better? I sighed, this had to be explained to him. I want money, so it's easy to find a person here who only has filthy money. The phone rang and I picked it up. "Joe?" I laughed, "I was just looking for you." I asked, "Where are you?" He said, "At home." "what." "I want you to listen carefully, Joe." "Okay." I asked, "What's the matter?" He said slowly and forcefully, "Joe, I can't see you anymore." "You're kidding." "I'm not kidding. There's no hope, Joe. I shouldn't have put you in trouble." "You are at home. You are speaking to Mrs. Navan. I don't believe you. You love me," I said. "Joe, I'm done." He put the phone down. I was shocked and didn't know what happened. When I slowly woke up, I put down the phone. This is something that will happen sooner or later, and the sooner it happens, the better. I got up and took the mess to the kitchen, my hands were shaking. I didn't cry, I just sighed. Although I said the ending was predictable, when it finally came, it was still like this. People are really funny. They knew they would die when they were born, but everyone is still afraid of death. He was like that, one phone call and it was sorted out.For him, things are the simplest, over there is his wife and children for decades, family, me?What am I. I ran up to my arms, searched all the drawers, found my sleeping pills, swallowed three pills in one go, and lay down on the bed. I will not die, there is no such thing these days, so a man can call his girlfriend casually: "I will never see you again." Maybe if I really die, he will feel guilty for a while, for the rest of his life.But I don't have the courage, I want to be very happy, which may make him feel guilty, but I don't have the courage to be happy, I'm a coward. Then I cried. The first time I woke up was four in the morning, I took three pills and went back to sleep. Those dreams are fragmented, without traces, and I can't remember clearly when I wake up.However, I finally woke up, I got up, typed a resignation letter and sent it.The reason was ill health. Or I could start from scratch, find a big school to get in, or... But I'm sick. I lay in bed for three days and only drank a little glucose water. Peter came to see me, scared him, but he couldn't say anything, so he went to the kitchen to get me eggs, sandwiches, and cereal, but I couldn't eat it, so I just lay down. He sat by my bed and waited for the doctor to come. The doctor left the medicine, and he fed me the medicine again. I said to him, "Peter, why don't you go and let me die alone." "A cold doesn't kill you," he said with a smile. He didn't leave, but stayed. One night I said to Peter, "You want me to be your girlfriend?" He doesn't ring. I held his hand, "I'm going to be your girlfriend, when I get well, we'll have the biggest dance, just downstairs, invite everyone, play all night, and then you'll go out Announce that I am your girlfriend." He doesn't ring. "You have to invite everyone, all your friends, colleagues, relatives, all of them, without missing a single one." He remained silent. I looked at him and smiled, "You regret it, Peter, you don't want me to be your girlfriend anymore?" He said, "I want you forever." He bowed his head, I know his mind, I understand him. But my lingering heat has not subsided. Peter came after work every day to help me tidy up the house, clean, and take my medicine, but he didn't complain at all. I got a letter with nothing in it.There was only one key, and Bill Navan gave it back to me. I don't ring. Is it really that simple?He wiped me off like a layer of dust on a table? I lost a lot of weight after not eating properly for over a week. On Saturday, before Peter came, he heard someone ring the doorbell.Thinking it was Peter, he stumbled out of bed, opened the curtains, and looked downstairs, only to see a small yellow sports car parked downstairs. I thought: who? I went downstairs and opened the door. A Chinese boy. How long has it been since I saw a Chinese face? I look at him.He looked at me hesitantly.He is very young, very beautiful, and very temperamental. He held an address book in his hand and looked at me for a long time. He asked, "Joe?" I nodded in my pajamas, "I'm Joe." He quickly entered the house, closed the door, and said, "Aunt Zhao asked me to come and see you—" Oh, my Inquisitor has arrived. He asked, "What's the matter with you? Are you sick?" I went upstairs slowly, "Yes, I have been sick for ten days, if you don't mind, I want to go upstairs and lie down." He followed me and came to help me, "I don't know, I'm sorry... who will accompany you! This room is so big." I sat on the bed, covered the quilt, and suddenly coughed, choking for a long time. He looked at me sympathetically and terrified, bewildered. I am both angry and funny. I asked, "Have you ever seen lung disease? This is the third-stage lung disease." I wanted to scare him. He smiled, full of childishness in his smile.He has a girlish coquettish attitude, but he is not annoying at all.He said, "Where is anyone suffering from lung disease now?" "What's your name?" "Zhang Jiaming." He said. I said, "I've never heard of you, how did you let my mother send you?" I watched him. "I haven't heard of you either," he said, "but I'm at the Polytechnic, which is near here, so they sent me." "Technology?" I rolled my eyes at him and said old-fashionedly, "the first year?" He was stunned, "The first year? No, no, I've already got my diploma, now I'm doing research, and I signed a one-year contract with the factory." "Have you got your doctorate?" I was impressed, "Oh my god, I thought you were twenty years old." You can't judge people by their appearance these days. "I'm twenty-five." He smiled. I sighed, "Okay, Mr. Zhang, now that you see me, what are you going to do?" I asked him. He frowned, "Aunt Zhao is very worried about you. She said that you are away alone, you don't study, you don't know how your work is going, and you desperately ask for money from your family. It seems more outrageous than when you were studying. There are other people at home. The purpose, even if it is not difficult, Aunt Zhao said that the child will be independent after all, or she will simply go back to Hong Kong. She asked me to see what you mean. I called her tonight, and she said that you have two I haven't written to her properly for three months, and this time, you seem to be a different person." I listen. Mom really cares about me? Why tell so much suffering to outsiders?It's also difficult in the Taoist family. I know the situation at home, and I can still afford this little money. It's just that when my daughter is older, it's better to marry and leave the house, so they don't have to worry about it.I'm just unsatisfied with that. Forget it, just don't ask them for money in the future. When the illness is cured, I will move to another place to live and find another job. call me back?Never, all these words have been explained, why should I go back?All of a sudden, I said "ah", and I realized that I was completely alone. If I was going to die, I could have died alone. I stay there.