Chapter 10 9.

9. On the back-to-school day of the winter vacation, the only heavy snowfall in Sansan's memory fell.But in fact, Shanghai has never had a real heavy snow, goose feather heavy snow, but when she got up to brush her teeth that morning, she saw a thick layer of white on the eaves of the house opposite, and the holly leaves. Blossoming little cotton and the pale sky after snowfall.This New Year's Sansan didn't get new clothes. She was at an awkward age when she couldn't buy clothes. It was already difficult for the children's clothing department to buy clothes that fit her, and those real adult clothes looked funny on her.She was almost as tall as her mother, but she still had a child's face, so she had to wear a mustard green trench coat that was left over from her mother's clothes, and a belt was tied stupidly at the waist.Although she was ashamed to go out like this, the icy wind after the snow and the white world outside the window still made her forget those little embarrassments.All the puddles on the school playground have frozen over, and some boys deliberately walked into the green belt, leaving footprints there.There were jubilant screams everywhere, subduing Sansan's boundless disgust and fear of going back to school again.She didn't wear a scarf or gloves, and her nose was so cold that she lost consciousness. She kept wiping away the running snot with her cold hands, and then squatted down and squeezed the snow from an abandoned dustpan outside. It was only a small snowball, but the snow melted quickly from between her fingers.She pinched the snowball into a hard and cold ice ball, and it was not white as imagined, but dirty gray.

Suddenly, Sansan's right shoulder was hit by a small lump of loose snow. When she turned her head, she saw Lin Yueyuan covering her hands into a trumpet shape and shouting to her: "Hey, what are you doing alone?" "Pinch a snowball." Sansan whispered sheepishly, and threw away the dirty ice ball in embarrassment. "It's hard to see real heavy snow in the south! During the Chinese New Year, we had a lot of snow in Beijing, and the ankles were buried. The highest part can be buried up to the knees, and we all have heating pipes in our house." The winter in Shanghai is really terrible. I will take you to Beijing to see the heavy snow in the future, and when you step on it, it feels like you are stepping on cotton!" Lin Yueyuan opened his eyes wide when he said this, lest she would not believe it .

Of course she believed him.She likes to see the boy she likes talking big, and his face is even slightly flushed because of shyness.What Sansan was a little unsure about was whether his eyes glowed just now. "Okay, I'll go to Beijing later." She was extremely happy in her heart, but she didn't dare to show it, so she lowered her head and rubbed her frozen fingers repeatedly. She remembered that she once told Lin Yueyuan about the Iron Arm Mountain in Changfeng Park, which was the highest mountain she had climbed since she was a child.Every summer, she would beg her father to take her to climb the Iron Arm Mountain. There were a few times when there was a sudden downpour before she set off, she would just sit at home and feel unhappy all day long.There is also a Silver Hoe Lake there, they always climb to the top of Iron Arm Mountain and run down the other side of the hillside all the way, and then go to the lake to row the kind of broken hand-cranked boats.The boat is really broken, with holes in the bottom, water will slowly seep in and wet the sandals.This is a repertoire every summer, just like Japanese girls wear yukata to watch fireworks in summer.But when she mentioned this to Lin Yueyuan, he curled his lips indifferently and said: "Compared to the mountains in Beijing, Iron Arm Mountain is just a small slope!" But she was not angry at all.How she liked his airy look.It is impossible to say that the outside world has nothing to do with her. Although her territory is only limited to walking from Wanhangdu Road to Paramount Cinema, her endless imagination of the outside world still moves her heart.Beijing, then I must go to Beijing with him in the future, climb the real rolling mountains, and have snowball fights.

"Why do you keep ignoring me?" Lin Yueyuan suddenly changed the subject and muttered in a low voice. "Ah, I didn't ignore you." Sansan almost cried out, her heart was beating so hard that it almost jumped out of her chest. "But you never talk to me. A few times when I saw you on the road, you pretended not to know me, turned around and ran away. I thought you were upset about what I did, and you only talked to A-Tong Don't talk, you don't talk to other people." Before he could finish these words, Sansan was about to be choked to death by the words and enthusiasm that had accumulated in his throat.She believed that she must look weird, wearing an ugly and weird windbreaker, her nose was red and her eyes were wet, her mouth was open but she couldn't say anything.Why is this so?Why is her love always stillborn?It will be the same when she grows up.It turns out that she has always been a tragic girl. Even if she loves someone very much, even if she loves him to the point of fascination, that person will not know.That person will think that she doesn't love him at all or that she doesn't care about him at all.That person didn't know that her indifference was all fake, as long as he had a little more patience and observed her more, he would know that it was just a trick that was too easy to be exposed.But is he still patient?Would he still be willing to spend so much time and enthusiasm trying to guess her mind with her?Why can't she show her love and passion on her face like other girls?She always wanted to spread herself out in front of him, but she squeezed her heart as tight as that little gray hockey puck.

"I thought you hated me." Sansan said in an extremely small voice. "why?" "Because of me...because of you...you have never been with Astro Boy. Only me and Astro Boy play together, and I don't like it, but everyone doesn't like me..." Sansan tongue-tied at all Know what you are talking about. Her heart was both happy and sad.She knew that Lin Yueyuan didn't hate her, but the explanation now seemed so stupid.She is not Astro Boy, she will never say the words "I like you", never, never!But when she explained, she was so dizzy that she was about to cry, and at this time she saw Astro Boy who had just finished receiving the new book from the teaching office, coming out of the office building with his tattered schoolbag.She thought he must have seen her, even though she turned her head quickly, the playground was full of screaming and running classmates, and some people slipped and fell on the icy ground from time to time, but she could still feel that Astro Boy was stared at her coldly.Knowing that he wanted to stop her, she grabbed her arm and asked her fiercely: Did you see those cards?Why are you ignoring me, why are you not talking to me?Why?Why why, she didn't know why.She just hoped that the last semester would go by quickly, and then they would all be middle school students.She wanted to get rid of all the nightmares, the rats that came down the pipes in the middle of the night.She never wanted to go back to the damp and moldy attic of Yan's house and play "Contra" until it was dark.She wants to make friends.She wants to grow up like an ordinary girl, even if she is not as good-looking as Wu Xiaoyun, it doesn't matter.But is all this really what she wants?She just really didn't want to say a word to Astro Boy.

But Astro Boy still walked over swaying from side to side, with a layer of tiny ice beads that had been frozen after the snowball fight stuck to his hair. This was the first time the three of them met on a narrow road, Sansan, Lin Yueyuan and Astro Boy.If you think that Lin Yueyuan is the kind of fair and gentle boy, then you are really wrong, he is actually a boy who grew up in an alley.When he was in Beijing, his parents were busy with quarrels and cold wars and had no time to care about him. In the summer, he climbed to the roof with a slingshot with boys of the same age in the compound and broke his arm.Later, because he was tall, he followed his cousin among the middle school students all day long, and ran around with the big boys on 28-inch bicycles in the alleys. He always carried a brick or something in his schoolbag after imitating them. A sawed-off water pipe, sitting on the back of his cousin's bicycle, scurrying around in the narrow maze-like alley, his butt hurting from being bumped by the schoolbag rack, seemed to be preparing for a group fight all the time.But in fact, he has never really used the murder weapons in the schoolbag, but because he wears it every day, the schoolbag wears quickly, and a big hole will be ground in the bottom after buying it for a long time.He never mentioned these things to anyone else, only Sansan.Sansan thought, if Wu Xiaoyun and the others heard this, they would probably frown and scoff, or pretend to cover their mouths in surprise.But for her, she listened with interest to his childhood memories in the alley.

"Hey, don't go, coward." Astro Boy pushed Lin Yueyuan's shoulder maliciously. "I didn't intend to leave. You're the coward." He fought back immediately, and the two pushed each other. "Single out?" "Whatever you want, I will accompany you whatever you want." Astro Boy did not know which pockets he conjured up a few cannons, threw a few damp ones on the ground, picked two of the thickest ones and threw one to Lin Yueyuan.Sansan stood there, not knowing what to do.Both of them seemed to have forgotten her existence, and she suddenly became the outsider, and could only watch helplessly as they lit two cannons with matches and held them in their hands.A cold sulfur smell suddenly filled the surrounding air.She was very afraid of the boys who threw firecrackers everywhere on the road during the Spring Festival. She was afraid of the crackling noise, and every time she passed those black ignited popcorn machines on the road, she would always cover her ears and run away.When she was a child, a firecracker came across the road and exploded at her feet. The air seemed to be blown up. She was so frightened that she couldn't even cry, and her father slapped her chest many times before she recovered.But now she could almost hear the hissing sound of the wire being ignited, but she simply forgot to cover her ears.This is the ridiculous trick of their boys. The timid one will always throw away the cannon inside in fear, and the victor can time the cannon in a graceful and provocative arc before it explodes. The line is thrown under the opponent's feet.This was actually only a few seconds, but she felt that it was too long.The two boys whose faces were flushed from the cold stared at each other covetously, as if what they were holding in their hands was not a firecracker that would explode anytime and anywhere.The pink scar on Astro Boy's face was like a dimple showing a nonchalant smile, while Lin Yueyuan squinted his eyes completely expressionless.Sansan's toes and fingertips ached from the cold, and a tiny nerve under his right eyelid was beating like a mouse without rhythm.

Something is going to happen, it's over! "Throw it away, throw it away quickly." She didn't know who she was shouting at. But the weak sound was quickly swallowed up in the jubilation of the playground, and at the same time, two loud noises that were enough to shock people came with a gust of air.Before subconsciously closing her eyes, she saw two bright lights in the hands of the two of them, like two small universes that had just exploded.By the time she opened her eyes again, the duel was over.The whole piece of skin on Lin Yueyuan's thumb was peeled off, and a big opening was cut in the palm of his hand. The blood vessel seemed to have been cut horizontally, and crimson blood rushed out from the bloody crack.And Astro Boy's thumbnail was completely gone, and his right hand was hanging down beside his thigh along his clothes, and the blood dripped from his fingertips to the ground, like the leaking faucet on Wanhangdu Road that couldn't be turned off .Both of them were unwilling to throw away the firecracker in their hands before the other, until it exploded alive in the palm of their hands.

"You all want to die? You crazy!" Sansan yelled at the two idiots. "Go away! I hate you, I hate this place." Astro Boy suddenly turned his head, stared at her fiercely, and before Sansan could react, he used his uninjured left hand to slam the schoolbag on his shoulder toward her. She throws it. Because there was no effort, the tattered schoolbag made a pathetic arc and fell to the ground halfway.The whole stack of brand-new textbooks that smelled like ink in the bag were thrown out and soaked in the slowly melting snow on the ground.Sansan saw that his eye sockets were red, tiny bloodshot eyes covered his whole eyes, a vein in his temple was beating vigorously, and the sweat on his forehead was glistening.There were tears in his eyes.Astro Boy was crying, but he was crying.He cried and kicked the schoolbag on the ground a few times, stepped on the books, and the snow-white paper was soon covered with footprints.

This day, Sansan suddenly had a feeling that his heart was completely broken.This kind of sadness is different from any kind of sadness in the past. It is the first time that the heart has been smashed into pieces, just like the blue pig with pink blush that was smashed by Astro Boy. Bundles are everywhere, and you can't finish picking them up. Later, the three of them sat on the stool in the infirmary and stopped talking as if angry. Later, as soon as the class teacher arrived at school with two steamed buns and a bag of soy milk, he was called to the infirmary by some students who liked to sue. Zhu Zhu shouted loudly: "You are all dead!" When she suddenly found out that Lin Yueyuan was sitting next to Sansan, she said angrily, "You are really going to piss me off! It's going to happen before school starts. So, do you still want to graduate? You, do you still want to go to a foreign language school?" She poked Lin Yueyuan's forehead with her finger, but she didn't seem to look at Sansan directly from the beginning to the end.

After the bleeding stopped, Lin Yueyuan and Astro Boy were led by the school doctor to the local hospital for stitches.The homeroom teacher dragged Sansan by the arm and dragged her to the office and threw her into a corner, and he was unwilling to speak to her anymore.The office windows were broken and covered with adhesive plaster and old newspapers.Sansan saw through the glass that the snow outside had almost melted, and there was still a little snow on the eaves, like broken alcohol cotton balls.She thought the ground must be dirty.Every snow in Shanghai melts very quickly, and soon turns into black snow, forming black ice on the side of the road. It is dirty and disgusting, but it is still bone-chillingly cold, and the air is full of humidity.This kind of cold can pierce into the bones, making people hate this season as if it will never end. The last new semester at Wanhangdu Road started the next day.Both Lin Yueyuan and Astro Boy came with bandages and gauze.Sansan did not ask her father to accompany her to the school gate, although sooner or later he would know that there was a disciplinary notice in black and white on the blackboard at the school gate.The reason why Lin Yueyuan's name is missing is that he has already received the interview notice from the foreign language school.He was the only one in the school who got an interview notice, and there was no way he would fail that interview.There is no adult who doesn't like a smart and healthy boy like him, so probably the gold-sprinkled red list to be posted for him has already been prepared.The teachers kept silent about this matter, and Sansan's name was side by side with Astro Boy's as before.She walked dejectedly from the blackboard with her head down, but she still saw a few girls from the next class pointing at her, and even the old man in the door room held a tea mug and said to her, "Oh, Two boys injured their hands, now you are famous." She hated all this.She knew that her parents would know about this dazzling punishment notice soon.The parents of the newly enrolled female students would point to the names on the posters and say, "Don't learn from this kind of female students!" And there was no sound in the classroom, as if a triumphant conspiracy was brewing.Several male students couldn't help covering their mouths with their hands and secretly laughing.Sansan walked to her seat in a panic, and just as she lifted up the top of the table, she saw an ugly doll made of cotton stuffed in a sock, the crooked eyes and nose were crudely drawn with a pen , with three hairs made of wool hanging ridiculously, and her and Lin Yueyuan's names were written on the chest: "Xu Jialiang loves Lin Yueyuan." There are several glittering pins stuck on a heart painted black with ink.All this made Sansan stay there completely, and all the goosebumps on her back came up.She knew everyone was waiting for her to cry.In every class, there are always one or two girls who are always making a fool of themselves and being teased. They are either fat and ugly or cowardly, but she is too scared to cry at all.The ugly doll was made of a very ragged men's nylon sock, the thread came off at the seam, and a little ball of cotton fell out of it.It seemed to come to life suddenly, staring at her ferociously.Throw it away, or cover it up?What should I do?Sansan knew that she just had to endure it a little longer and get through it. After she entered middle school, she could start over. No one knew that this warning would always be revoked. No one knew that she was a liar. The boys here dawdle, no one knows her past.She pinched her arm fiercely with her nails, warning herself to swallow back those cowardly and stupid tears that were about to erupt. Sansan, be brave, be brave again. Another bad day.When she passed the blackboard newspaper at the door after school, she saw that a large corner of the white bulletin paper was raised because the paste was not evenly applied, and the wind made it rattle.But just when Sansan was about to bow her head and hold her schoolbag tightly, she suddenly saw three words scrawled in a thick pen next to her name: Lin Yueyuan.She knew the handwriting, only Lin Yueyuan could write such a straight and strong running script.After he finished writing, he traced it several times with a pen to make the words stand out and stand out, and he was proudly placed next to Sansan's name. From a distance, it seemed to read "Xu Jialiang, Lin Yueyuan, because of serious violation of school discipline... ...Warning punishment is hereby announced."Sansan stared at that name for a long time, the faint but firm warmth spread from every tiny nerve ending to the whole body.She seemed to have gained the courage she had never had before, and she almost secretly laughed out loud.Don't be afraid anymore, the pride when you jumped off the wall desperately is back.This kind of pride is impossible for her to get when she runs like crazy with Astro Boy, this kind of pride can only be possessed when she follows Lin Yueyuan's butt like a little oil bottle.She likes to see her name written side by side with his on the bulletin board. She no longer feels soft and cowardly, and she doesn't even care about the stormy scolding at home.She is not wrong.For the first time she felt courage in her bones, in the deepest nerve of her heart.She has done nothing wrong, she has never done anything wrong, why should all this be forced on her?Why does she have to become like them! "Hey, he's really loyal!" Astro Boy ran out from nowhere and patted Sansan on the shoulder heavily. "Well, of course he is." "Then why don't you admit that you like him?" "I haven't. Why should I like him?" "Wu Xiaoyun made it, that doll." Astro Boy said after a moment of silence, "I didn't want to tell you." "Ah?" Sansan's heart sank desperately. "Who told you to have horns on your head? You want horns on your head and everyone likes you. This is simply impossible. I knew it a long time ago. So even my father hates me now, He said that the back of my head is born with rebellious bones. If you touch the back of your head, does it hurt when you sleep on a hard bed? Why do you have to care about these bullshit things, and those bullshit female classmates? " Said After finishing, Astro Boy looked back at the empty playground, and then tore off a large piece of the dazzling white notice paper on the blackboard with lightning speed, leaving only a small piece stuck tightly with glue A piece of paper with the headmaster's name pitifully printed on it and a red official seal with the ink pad dyed outside. She watched helplessly as Astro Boy tore the large piece of paper into shreds and threw it on the ground, and then said to her: "Hey, idiot, why are you still standing there? I'm not afraid, but if you are seen by the teacher If you arrive, you will die. Run!" Idiot, idiot, run!