Chapter 11 10.

10. Wu Xiaoyun suddenly changed schools before the weather got warmer, but it had nothing to do with the sock doll she stuffed in Sansan's desk.Sansan never thought of taking revenge on her at all.Astro Boy urinated in her desk again, and set her two textbooks on fire at the door of the classroom with a match.Outside the pile of paper ashes, he drew a circle with yellow chalk, as if it were tin foil burned when someone died in the family.Sansan was sick that day and didn't go to school, so she didn't see her crying.And all this just made more people hate Sansan, and all the girls in the class stopped talking to Sansan.When I went to the cafeteria to pick up the lunch box my mother prepared for her at noon, she was always deliberately squeezed at the end of the line by the boys. When it was her turn, everyone’s lunch boxes had been taken away, and only hers was left. Often the lid has been lifted and knocked over.The braised pork ribs or two fried chicken wings that her mother prepared for her would be thrown into the ditch next to her, leaving only steamed rice and a few completely wilted vegetables.Sansan didn't know who did it, it seemed that they all did it tacitly and habitually, such as breaking the pencils in her pencil case and sticking chewing gum on her chair.She didn't tell anyone about it.It's not a big problem for her to tear the paper out of the exercise book to get the chewing gum off, or eat two mouthfuls of bland rice.Astro Boy didn't know this, neither did Lin Yueyuan, maybe she could tell them this as a joke many years later, but at that time she was silent like a die-hard little girl Swallow stomach.But no matter what, she never thought of taking revenge on Wu Xiaoyun.

Wu Xiaoyun suddenly stopped coming to school one day, and Sansan saw her sitting in the math teacher's office doing homework after school the day before.She can always do homework in the teacher's office, because her mother often can't pick her up because of working late, and sometimes she helps the math teacher correct multiple-choice and fill-in-the-blank questions on the test paper, and fill out the report card.Most of Sansan's bad report cards were filled out by Wu Xiaoyun in the office after school. She used red and blue ballpoint pens alternately, and she was serious about it.The day before after school, Sansan was called to the office by the math teacher. She knew it was because there was an unsigned math test paper.She folded the test paper very small and randomly stuffed it in her schoolbag.But when she reached the corner of the stairs, she still uneasy turned out the torn paper, tucked it between the belt and the side of the pants between her stomach, and then covered it with clothes, and then she could lie and say that she left the paper at home .They can search her schoolbag at will, but they will never search her body.When Sansan was telling big lies in shock, Wu Xiaoyun was doing her homework on the glass-topped desk next to her, with a bag of melon seeds and a bag of soy milk probably left over from lunch.It was still cold that day, but she wore a knit skirt of wool over thick wool socks.She raised her head and glanced at Sansan, then quickly turned her face away with disgust, so Sansan's face froze with a half weird smile.At this moment, she is extremely jealous of Wu Xiaoyun, jealous that she can wear skirts in winter, jealous that she is always the first to know everyone's math test results, jealous that she still looks so good-looking in the teacher's office while eating sunflower seeds like no one else around.My mother always said that if girls wear skirts in winter, their joints will hurt and roll on the ground when they are old, but who cares about things after they get old?For a twelve-year-old girl, getting older is the one thing that never happens.

The next day, Sansan waited for the arrival of the second math class with full of thoughts.She still hasn't given the damn test paper to Dad to sign.Her hand stretched out into the belly of the table to pinch the pickle-like roll, her palms were covered with sweat.However, the math teacher with pimples and pustules did not show up.She thought he was probably sick or went to a meeting in another school.This kind of thing happened in the past, but apparently the head teacher who rushed in brought a better news: the math teacher will not come to the school anymore, they will have a substitute math teacher from tomorrow until the graduation exam.So she basked in the joy of not having to see this annoying math teacher again.She hates him because he seldom gives her good looks.It's not that she doesn't know how to do those questions, but she is a careless girl, she doesn't care about those equal signs or those vertical calculation formulas just because she is careless, but he really regards her as a girl who will be scared in math tests The idiot who peed his pants.He must have told the other teachers in the office that way, and he had no idea why.But now she doesn't have to see him anymore, and the math test paper in the belly of the table no longer needs to be signed, she can tear it up and throw it in the toilet to flush it away.The news was too good to be true, so she ignored the embarrassed look on the head teacher's face, and the weird atmosphere of the whispering girls in the class.It wasn't until after school that everyone was saying that Wu Xiaoyun had also transferred, that she suddenly felt very confused, as if she was always the one who was kept in the dark and finally found out the truth.

In the cubicle of the women's toilet, two girls from the next class were saying, "When he was caught by the old guard, her skirt fell to her knees." She could imagine their surprised expressions covering their mouths, probably They pinched each other's arms before they could hold back their screams, "Oh my God, that's terrible!" Afterwards, the school urgently held a parent-teacher meeting.For the first time in history, Dad didn't talk about her grades after returning home, nor did he get angry, but he stroked Sansan's hair very worriedly and gently asked: "Did your math teacher ask you to sit down?" Doing homework on his lap?"

Sansan didn't know what was going on with the math teacher or Wu Xiaoyun they were talking about, she couldn't connect the whole thing together, she just fearfully thought that it must be a very, very bad thing.At that time, she didn't know what a man and a woman were. She thought that as long as they kissed, they would become a big belly.One summer vacation, my cousin lived in her house, and he often drank water from the teapot directly with his mouth after swimming, so Sansan insisted on refusing to touch the water in the teapot throughout the summer, always waiting After the mother boiled the water again, she used her own cup to give herself cold boiled water.The grown-ups only thought it was her weird little girl's vice, or something she learned from some girl in the alley, but they didn't know that she was afraid that she would become a big belly.It wasn't until a long time later that she suddenly understood the matter between Wu Xiaoyun and the acne math teacher, but at that time she was already a middle school student, and she had to take the three-stop bus home after school every day.One day she was squeezed into the narrow gap next to the banana seat, unable to pull the armrest, so she could only hold her schoolbag tightly around her chest to barely maintain her balance.That day was also an embarrassing season when winter had just passed and spring had not yet arrived. A calloused man's hand suddenly came in from the waist of her school uniform top.She shivered because the hand was cold, and it slipped through the sweater and cotton sweater slyly and nimbly, and landed on a large area of ​​forced bare skin on her lower back.She was too frightened to move, and wanted to shout but saw indifferent passengers around her, so she couldn't make a sound with her mouth open, but her throat seemed to be on fire, and she could only tense her body. Even the toes were tense.But that hand reached out to her trouser waist without giving up.She was wearing a tight belt, so it hesitated for a moment before reaching for the buckle with two thick fingers.Calluses and nails scratched her stomach, hurting her, and she let out a soft exclamation.At this time, the car just arrived at the stop, and she desperately squeezed through the gaps between people. The cumbersome schoolbags were crushed by many people's shoulders and waists, and she probably broke some woman's sweater, because she didn't look at it until she got off the car. A length of wool hangs from the zipper.But she didn't care about that much anymore, and jumped out of the car at the last moment before the door closed, her heart was beating wildly, her bangs were wet with sweat and pressed tightly to her forehead despite being cold.Walking on the road, she kept looking back, worried that the hand would jump out of the car with her.She was walking along the long Beijing West Road in a daze, stumbled, and suddenly remembered Wu Xiaoyun, and the only time the math teacher asked her to sit on his lap, and said very gently next to her ear: "Don't be afraid, sit down." On my lap, don't be afraid."

The things she didn't understand were about men, and Mom never told her about it, just like Mom never told her about menstruation.Mom would just find out the love letter from her schoolbag and tear it up secretly.They didn't trust each other, so after she actually got her period, her mother said to her, "There are some places that men shouldn't touch casually." Feeling more disgusted and impatient.Sansan had already forgotten which day she could no longer take a shower with the toilet door open. In the past, she liked to take a shower with the toilet door open every summer.It is always before the evening cartoon starts, sometimes there is a heavy rain, the temperature outside is a little lower, the leaves of the sycamore tree have just soaked in the rain and are extraordinarily green, and the dragonfly is still flying blindly at low altitude, so she curls up in the bathtub Play with soap bubbles and plastic figures, and look out at the blue-to-gray sky.But one day my mother came over with no face and slammed the door shut, whispering: "From now on, you are not allowed to open the door when you take a shower. Aren't girls ashamed?" She hated the small space in the toilet, hated the flickering bird Dim little light bulb.She hates showers because she can no longer shower with the door open.But there was nothing she could do about these things, and she spent her entire adolescence in extreme fear of buses.Her classmates had already squeezed into the carriage with their chests against their backs, but she was the only one who was still lingering in place.She was afraid that the hand would lift her clothes again, and she was afraid of those arms or legs that were deliberately stuck behind her buttocks, so she always waited for a long time at the station, sometimes the street lights were on and it was dark, so desperate.

Wu Xiaoyun was led by her mother to the school to go through a school transfer procedure.She didn't go to the school, she was wearing a gray velveteen sweatshirt and stood at the gate of the school holding the iron railing, still tiptoeing habitually as in the past.When she grows up, she wants to be a model or a star, but she always dislikes that she is not tall enough.It is said that if you tiptoe more, you will grow taller, so she does it every day.The girls in Sansan's class happened to be running on the playground. Everyone saw her, but she deliberately turned her head away as if she didn't know them.But Sansan felt that she was looking at him secretly, and a disappointed and unwilling look stuck to her body like a piece of adhesive plaster, as if she was asking sharply: Why you, why can you still stay with him? Together, why would he choose you?So Sansan dared not look at her.Every time she ran past the school gate, she would stare at her toes, her face was red and she didn't even dare to lift her head.She didn't want to be the one who gloated, even though she was silently happy in her heart: Wu Xiaoyun is gone, and she will never see her again, just like never seeing the math teacher again, and never having to be responsible for that broken test paper Happy.But in fact, she felt a little sad that day, probably because the weather was getting warmer, sweat was profuse on the inside of her neck, and the wind blowing against her face made people feel throbbing but extremely difficult.Sansan knew something was wrong, because that day she suddenly felt that Wu Xiaoyun had become an adult, even though she still had a child's body, her cheeks were bulging from chewing a piece of bubble gum.Sansan couldn't tell exactly what changed, it was as if the Wu Xiaoyun in her body had actually died, and now she was like an adult wearing a child's body, standing at the school gate, those who once made Sansan feel jealous All parts are dead.

In the third year of high school, Sansan saw Wu Xiaoyun once on the road of Jing'an Temple. At that time, she had separated from all the past things as she wished.At that time, she had grown up in the mist for many years, so she was afraid of seeing Wu Xiaoyun, wasn't she?It seemed that all the answers to the mysteries would be revealed at that time, but she was clearly not ready yet. She hugged the schoolbag in her arms and quickly crossed the narrow road to avoid Wu Xiaoyun who was walking towards her.It's her, even though she has permed her bangs and is gaining weight silently, she still looks unscrupulous.She is the kind of girl who walks into the classroom through the front door ten minutes after the bell rings in a large class with hundreds of people, and repeatedly chooses a seat she likes under the watchful eyes of everyone, without caring what others think she.If it was Sansan, it would be very difficult to hold on from the first row to the last row to receive the attention of so many people, and halfway through, the legs and feet would go weak, hoping to dig a hole to escape.Now Wu Xiaoyun is still like this, she has become fat like no one else, she is holding the arm of her female companion on the road, as if half of her body weight is hanging on that arm, talking in a high-pitched voice, Sansan can almost see the female companion Eyes with disgust.She looks like a girl who was overdrawn and clean when she was a child. The double eyelids and big eyes can make people guess that she was the kind of pink and tender calendar girl when she was young, but now the pimples can't be hidden under the bangs. up.But in fact, it is impossible for her to recognize Sansan at all, she must have forgotten that torn sock doll full of sadness, jealousy and hatred, and also Lin Yueyuan.As for Sansan, that is even more insignificant.Girls like her always have too many trivial things to worry about in every stage of life, such as potions for acne or impulsive boyfriends.

Why worry about it, Sansan, they are all learning to forget. When she first entered middle school, Wu Xiaoyun once wrote a letter to Sansan, and the letter was sent to the school.Sansan didn't know why she wrote to her, and the tone of the letter was as intimate as if Sansan was her best girlfriend in childhood, and there was even a 1.50 cents bought from a street stall in the letter. bell ring.This kind of ring was once popular among middle school girls for a while, because of this ring, even a corner of the thickened airmail envelope was worn out.The ballpoint pen writing in the letter was scrawled, not at all what she used to draw neatly with the thinnest pencil.Sansan didn't remember exactly what was written in the letter, it probably wrote something about their school, hooligans fighting, boys chasing girls.She mentioned that the boys whose shirts were always unbuttoned by two buttons were unbuttoned, and they walked very slumped.At that time, boys in bad schools liked to wear carrot pants with many pleats and white shirts hanging loosely on their bodies.The boy in the third grade was probably pursuing her. She wrote it in detail, and at the end of the letter, she wrote in big and scribbled words: This is so romantic!Seeing the huge exclamation mark, Sansan was terrified, and quickly folded the letter into a small size and stuffed it into the desk with the ring.