Chapter 2 part two

16 I remember when I walked into the classroom on the first day of school, I regretted that I almost fell to the ground and died. Because I was almost an hour late, I had to carefully walk to the seat in the first row facing the podium under the eyes of everyone. From now on, never want to change places again. Because of my height, all the classmates behind me were blocked by me at once. These idiots were free to do tricks in class and cheat in exams behind me, but I stood in front like a living target. From that you can see who I went to school with. I sat down in desperation, not daring to vent my breath, but unexpectedly there was a burst of laughter. I knew they were gloating. The "clothed beast" stood in front of me, took a notebook in his hand and clicked my name, I answered like a bug, and he immediately looked away.It seems that he is very dissatisfied. At least in summer, he can’t freely look at girls’ breasts when everyone is practicing at their desks. Mistakes in those girls' notebooks.

Knowing this came later, I was destined to sit in a seat that I shouldn't be sitting in anyway on the first day of school, and it was also destined that he hated me to death, I guess my fault was not a fat ass Girls with big tits, the fault is that I disappointed him on the first day of school, the fault is that I still sit on my back and keep my pen straight, blocking the breasts of the girls behind me.It was too late when I realized that I was lying down and going to sleep. This old rascal couldn’t wait for a few more days, so he gave me a punishment in a hurry in the first month. The reason for the punishment was ridiculous to me - absenteeism --That was my effort to please the teacher.

17 Many people may turn out to be bad people, so they desperately want to learn to be good.There is another kind of people who are good by nature, but cry and want to learn to be bad. This is the case of my friend Hua Yang. For him, it is actually much more difficult to learn to be bad than to be good. Hua Yang is the same age as me, a high school classmate, he is smart, likable, interested in everything and everyone, and has patience, so his girlfriend Xin Xiaoye is just right for him.Xin Xiaoye is a very self-righteous and selfish guy, and it is she who makes Hua Yang fall in love with all kinds of things and go crazy.I think the only explanation for this is that on Huayang's road to the truth, a big stumbling block was needed to break his head and blood. God saw that he was so sincere, so God sent Xin Xiaoye to him.

18 Hua Yang and I met in the school office. It was a day in October 1985. It is funny to say that other students were quietly attending class in the classroom at that time!Of course, these idiots would be able to do this without black sheep like us. I have a habit of not listening in class.Because our teachers also have a habit of talking nonsense in class.My habit is at least a little better than his, that is, not to disturb others, but he doesn't understand this.So I got caught quietly watching my "Under the Wheels" and as usual I was sent to the office to "think about it" and honestly, I've been in school for so long and I'm a bit concerned about the teachers' office I like it, I used to read newspapers and magazines there, copy my homework, and listen to the teacher tell me the truth that I can recite backwards at any time.Also, I made a lot of new friends there who, like me, frequent the place.

I went to the mathematics teaching and research section that day, it was empty and there was no one there. I found a copy of yesterday's "Beijing Evening News" on the table, looked at it for a while, and suddenly felt drowsy, so I fell asleep on the table.After a while, I was awakened by a sound of ping-pong. I opened my eyes and saw that there was a new person in the teaching and research room, Hua Yang from class two (2) of high school. We knew each other before but had never spoken to each other. I was surprised to find that Hua Yang was checking Teacher's drawer. When the teacher came in, the two of us had already made a waiting list.Outside the teaching and research room, students flocked to the playground to play. Hua Yang and I were educated by two teachers respectively. I admitted my mistake very sincerely, and it seemed that I was about to pass the test, but Hua Yang quarreled with the teacher.The teacher called him "the little bastard who owes a tutor", and he called the teacher "the old bald donkey", but the teacher waved his hand and told him to go home to invite the parents, and scolded the student asshole to the teacher who was teaching me.At the same time, my hands pointed at me from time to time, so I did my part here, and I also became a victim of the teachers' ruthless competition. Of course, my time in the last two classes should be mainly used to find parents and try to find parents. They got it in school to embarrass themselves.

19 It is my specialty to write a thousand words and digress thousands of miles.Now I'm going to repeat the trick again, there is no way. I am very disgusted with a logic, that is, teachers and parents often educate children, torture them, and beat them in the name of their children's good, without asking whether they agree or not.I object to this for two reasons: First, this is disrespect for the child, and second, it also exposes the former's helpless embarrassment. But at the stage of children, they will not understand the first two points. They are confused and innocent. Before that, they still don't understand the meaning of some words in the dictionary, such as humiliation, pain, and power.Violence and more.There is only one logic that can explain this matter, that is, in the process of educating children, teachers and parents have to play negative teaching materials from time to time.

Also, when it comes to being invited by the teacher to parents when I was in school, I want to tell you that this trick is very powerful. At that time, it was not me who was most afraid of this trick, but my father.When I was in school, he went to school as many times as I did. Every time he came back from school, he had to beat me half to death before asking me to write a letter of guarantee, so I bitterly wrote: "I In the future, I must obey the discipline in class, study hard, live up to the expectations of my parents, accept this lesson, and ensure that I will not repeat the same mistakes in the future." Such small strips are all over our house, and every time my mother sweeps the floor, I can sweep out a few Come, sometimes read to me when I am present.

What I want to say here is that some teachers are bad enough. No wonder Hua Yang calls them girls’ underwear. It's about teaching your parents a lesson, telling your parents what kind of idiot they had, and embarrassing your parents.In this way, the parents will vent their anger on you multiple times, so a series of live newspaper dramas will be staged. At night, after everyone has worked hard for a long time, the parents will burst into tears, and the children will lie and promise that all the actors will be happy. Hoarse and exhausted, the neighbors were disturbed by the noise, and of course, the whole family was also restless.

Don't think that teachers will invite parents. The school still has many ways to deal with students.They set up a thing called "School Parent Contact Book". When the school is over, the teacher signs the time, and the parents sign another time when you go home, telling you that you don't even have time to go to the toilet after school, and you run home with your schoolbag, let alone Mention to take another look at the chick's ass on the road.They opened students' letters, intercepted notes passed on in class, divided students into advanced and backward, established various organizations, let students inform each other, etc., in short, all the most complicated espionage methods can be found in the school Archetype, if you don't quickly learn to lie, to be hypocritical, to pose, to be obedient, you're going to be as unlucky as I am in school.

20 In October 1985, the sun was shining brightly. As a 17-year-old me, I was sitting under a tree beside the playground. Others were having physical education class, and the boys were playing football.The girls were doing the horizontal bar, and the physical education teacher took the opportunity to fiddle with them. No wonder the horizontal bar was broken and they rushed to repair it in the rain. At this moment, I turned a blind eye to everything in front of me, downcast, and confused.While in a daze, Hua Yang walked over from a distance, looking very leisurely, first he stood under the sun for a while, and actually held my book confiscated by the teacher in his hand!

After a while, he walked in front of me, sat beside me, looked down silently, and it was obvious that he couldn't put down my copy of Hesse's "Under the Wheel". I got up and went out into the sun. After class, students in twos and threes walked past me. A few girls went to the toilet in front of the small park hand in hand. The ugly monster with pigtails gasped and exaggeratedly yelled at his companions: "Teacher Liu also has a nickname called Smelly Smoked Fish. This nickname mainly refers to his smell!" I was bored, so I went back under the tree. Hua Yang looked up at me, smiled at me, and held the book in front of me: "Is this yours?" I nodded, and that's how we got to know each other. twenty one What I want to tell you in 1987 is that college life bores me.I'm bored by all the organizational life, I'm losing sleep all night and I'm getting more and more depressed every day, I chose science and computer science to prove that I'm smart, it's actually stupid because I'm overwhelmed by homework and exams , I have received a notice of punishment due to absenteeism, and my girlfriend Xiang Xiaopiao also left me. A lot of disappointment fell from the sky. It was October, the autumn was crisp and the weather was fine, but my mood was terrible. Hua Yang's guitar was smashed by him when he was drunk, and boredom emptied our hearts like moths. The number of girls in the polytechnic school is not only pitifully small, but the quality is also terrible, and each of them is very pretentious. I am not interested in them, and I am even more afraid of those boys who are busy exchanging porn and talking about sex before going to bed. Only then did I understand that this is not the place I should come to, this is the hardworking The world of idiots, the lights in the evening study room are on all night, full of idiots who dream of going abroad or passing exams, they come from all over the country, they are poor as hell, they don’t read anything except textbooks and dirty magazines, while I am asleep, They secretly used my facial oil and comb. I even gave them toothpaste, toothbrush and towel. When I got up every day, I just patted my face with cold water and wiped it on my sleeves. My body was Long-standing bad cigarette smell and stench. These few days Hua Yang has been slacking off on my meal, he contributed all the money he could swindle from his family to the date, it was his only chance to forget the reality.His girlfriend, I mean Xin Xiaoye, seems to have endless things to discuss with him, including buying gifts for classmates' birthdays, how to deal with constipation once every two weeks, the effect of using hair remover, Bang Which song did Jovi sing unsatisfactorily, and so on and so on.At that time, he was too busy, most of the time he was busy borrowing money, but dating still made him poorer, frowning, he used to sing to pass the time, now he sings instead of smoking, Good to save some meal tickets.Yesterday, he was drunk and smashed the piano, and now he has no cigarettes and no piano.In fact, he had nothing left but worries.Chengda and I lay in the dormitory with nothing to do, like fish at the bottom of a lake, exposed to the scorching sun, we were extremely decadent, dying, waiting to die. twenty two I started writing letters to my high school friends, hoping to hear some good news from them, but there was nothing, they were either like us or worse than us, and everyone was in a restless mood all day, walking around, hoping for something better. Something to do, but nothing to do. In fact, there are a lot of things to do, the dirty clothes have not been washed for a month, the textbooks I was issued at the beginning of school are still new, but my name is written on the title page, I stole 200 yuan treasury bills from home, and exchanged them into Renminbi bought a recorder and listened to Qi Qin's songs every day, just to strengthen the feeling of broken love. Those songs are hypocritical and exaggerated, but they catered to my state of mind. For several days in a row, I shed tears for them, and also for my Crying to myself, my girlfriend, Xiang Xiaopiao, left me before I had fucked her. I regretted it so much. I spent all night thinking about every chance I had to fuck her. What was not put to good use is now being used by others.We used to have a good relationship. I remember one time, when I was a sophomore in high school, she used to deliver lunch to me in an insulated lunch box.Another time, on a bench in Zizhuyuan, some of her classmates walked past us, but she didn't let me take my hands off her breasts. I guess those idiots must have seen it. But she totally ignored it. The memory of Xiang Xiaopiao made me fall into the persistent pain that I couldn't extricate myself from, and into the unspeakable imaginary jealousy that I couldn't shake off. In short, it broke my heart.I went to her with all kinds of good words, but she was so indifferent to me that I figured she must have been fucked, which made me even more upset. During that period, I was in a trance all day long, anxious, dark in mind, absurd in thinking, and almost died. Hua Yang lives next to our dormitory, and he knows my situation well. He uses Luo Dayou's songs to add to the sad atmosphere. Usually he does this: first borrow a piano from somewhere, and then lie on my bed and sing it. Three or four hours as a way to "distract me and get me out of the pain." In fact, I was neither distracted nor relieved, but more irritable and disoriented.Like other people of our generation, I also like Luo Dayou, and I often listen to his "Lugang Town", "My Hand Through Your Black Hair", etc. This kind of liking is from a certain point of view With an element of tenderness, no matter who I was in love with at the time.As I said, the most terrifying thing we faced at that time was doing nothing, emptiness, and inexplicable boredom. I couldn't see the future, I didn't have confidence in myself, and I lacked ideals and beliefs and other beautiful things that my parents had. If you can't figure out the meaning and value of life, you can't find a reason to make yourself act. Any action, because there is no goal, seems absurd.If I knew then that my life would be spent in absurdity, I wouldn't be fooling around.But I didn't know it at the time, and neither did the people around me. For a while, I decided to pick myself up or die, maybe others thought so at the time, and the strange thing is, I did pick up, but without purpose, I was walking all day in order to tell Myself, I am not depressed, I am not self-pitying, I am not giving up on myself, however, I do not know what I am doing, but I still do something, I go to class, after class, do homework, play football, read books, do homework, and even participate In a poetry club, I only sleep six hours a day, and at other times, in Hua Yang's words, I am a "walking dead" who is constantly busy. twenty three These are the situations I encountered when I was a freshman.I've often wondered if my life would have been better if I'd known Alai right out of school.Or did you know Alai earlier?If that was the case, I wouldn't hang out with my friends, and I wouldn't treat Alai like I did later on. If I gave Alai half of the sweet words I said to Xiang Xiaopiao, if I treated Xiang Xiaopiao with the same mentality. Alai, that is to say, from the very beginning, I have tried my best to cater to Alai's wishes, to live for her ideals instead of being indifferent to her, so will Alai not leave me? twenty four In October, Hua Yang went to Peking University to visit his high school classmates. There, they treated him to a full meal and drank a few bottles of beer, which lifted his spirits. So, at the request of those guys, he They sang songs for two or three hours. It is said that the scene was surprisingly warm. A girl cried. It is rumored that she has loved Hua Yang for several years, and she still has not given up. But one thing is certain, she is very ugly. Of course, It was even uglier when she was crying. When she was crying, someone whispered, "What's wrong with this old lady?" Of course, these are all off-topic tasks. During Hua Yang’s trip to Peking University, he met a boy named Liu Xin who studied history. The mop strips just wiped the floor, the face is like an old man's eczema-ridden butt, yellow and dirty, with some pimples on it, a pair of eyes that keep blinking, if one day he happens not to masturbate, there will be Shoots wild light, of course at a passing chick, he has such a simple taste in chicks, I won't be surprised if I hear one day he's arrested for raping a cripple who's missing his right leg, Of course, sometimes when we sit on the side of the road and really see a cripple passing by who has lost his right leg, he will be like us, imitating the American youth in the 1960s and rushing to shout "left, left, left".I soon found out his brief history, having had "an unbearable, mutually torturous, very romantic, deadly brutal love affair" with an extremely ugly girl, was in debt, very smart, but never learned , thinking wildly all day long, acting suspiciously, that is to say, he is very likely to become Hua Yang's close friend, because Hua Yang has been dreaming of learning to be bad for many years, but he just couldn't get in, and now the opportunity has come. As I expected, they were inseparable before long. 25 One day, Hua Yang brought Liu Xin to my dormitory and said to me, "I'll introduce you to a buddy, he is Liu Xin." I looked up and saw that this person was throwing a straw hat that I don’t know from a farmer’s head in the free market onto the nail behind the door like a frisbee, sat down on my bed, nodded quickly at me, and then Ask: "Is there any smoke?" At the same time, he coughed and spit out a mouthful of phlegm on the ground.