Chapter 14 "Lamp of the Earth" They fight with their lives

They fight with their lives (1) 5 In the middle of the night, Jimei suddenly became restless, and let out a dull growl deep in his throat, and his pupils in the darkness were burning hot and vigilant like mysterious flames.The horses outside the tent started snorting and circling anxiously.Hooves clattered on the ground. Ji Mei squatted calmly, concentrating on catching the traces of the wild breath wandering in the air, from far to near, gradually becoming so intense.The master is still sleeping, but it knows that the breath of the wild beast that is so familiar is very approaching.Its innate sense of mission directs its almost instinctive desire to protect.During its dedicated shepherding career, it clearly knows that it is more important than life to protect the owner, the owner's tent and the sheep in good condition.Those wild wolves and leopards who ventured to attack sheep in the cold winter with no food are worth fighting with their lives.

From ancient times to the present, in the face of any ferocious beasts, Tibetan mastiffs have always fought bravely without fear. With the support of rich confrontation experience and strong will to be loyal to their mission, they often show amazing strength and courage. The Tibetan Mastiff fights to the end with dignity as the king of fierce and loyal shepherd dogs.Ever since Jimei killed a hungry wolf in a desperate hand-to-hand fight on that thrilling night, he had absolute confidence in his courage and tactics.Afterwards, all the ferocious beasts that fought with it were finally bitten by their necks without exception, and they persisted until the dark sticky blood bubbled and thickened from the damaged throat, and finally fell limp for a long time go down.

This is its mission.It is not a killer, but sometimes it is necessary to make decisive kills in order to fulfill its loyal mission.It's the same this time. It stood up quietly.The whole body is tense, the hair stands on end, and the four claws are firmly embedded in the ground.Staring intently at the direction where the smell was getting stronger, a thick low growl of warning came out of his throat.total darkness.The horse's bouts of mania did not affect its composure at all. Finally, a silver-white figure loomed.A leopard.A silvery Himalayan snow leopard.Ji Mei could even feel that the leopard was grinning by smell, revealing its scarlet tongue.It has a huge body, but it walks lightly like a cat.

Deep in Ji Mei's throat, a more ferocious deep bark came out. The leopard ignored it and approached gradually.It's obviously hungry.Perhaps it is due to the ecological degradation of the grassland, the wild yaks disappeared, the blue sheep disappeared from the cliffs, and the Tibetan antelope was killed by poachers.It was panicking with hunger, and there were still cubs waiting to be fed in the den.Smelling the scent of humans and animals, they ventured to attack.The faint smell of beef and human flesh in the tent almost drove it crazy.Its skeleton is strong, its ears are tipped forward vigilantly, its forelimbs are lowered and its forelimbs are gradually lowered to the ground, its flexible body is already bent and tensed like a slingshot, its abdomen is contracted, and the tendons of its legs are protruding with force. .The perfect prelude to attack.

Jimi has no fear.Its hind legs landed firmly on the ground, a low growl rolled from its throat, and its hair was already standing on end.Instantly. Both sides are eyeing tigers, but each other is an equal opponent, so the confrontation is long and cautious. Snow Leopard naturally knows how powerful Tibetan Mastiff is. "Erya" records, "A dog with four feet is a mastiff...a mastiff, proud." Chapter 46 of "Marco Polo's Travels" also described that Tibetan mastiffs "shape like a Tibetan donkey, bark like a lion, and are good at hunting bison. , fighting with the leopard".

Indeed, when Genghis Khan's Mongolian iron hooves swept across Europe in 1240 AD, he had an army of 30,000 Tibetan mastiffs under his command.These purebred Tibetan mastiffs have brought noble and brave blood to European dogs.They are so big and strong that even the grandchildren of the Tibetan mastiffs crossed with other dogs—such as German Great Danes, Russian Caucasian dogs, French Saint Bernards, Canadian Newfoundland dogs, English mastiffs, etc. It is still a famous and famous large dog breed in the world today. Although the leopard didn't know the records in ancient books, or the Tibetan Mastiff Legion of Genghis Khan, it knew that this big black shepherd dog dominated the pastoral area and was very powerful.It has been recorded that during the mating season, the bitches who are not Tibetan mastiffs all run away from the male mastiffs in estrus - because they really cannot bear the weight of those strong male mastiffs on them. .This is indeed a funny gimmick, but it is enough to allude to the obvious superiority of the Tibetan Mastiff population.Even if they face the attack of wolves, they still fight to the death with one stop, causing casualties to the wolves.

And it's not that Jimei hasn't fought leopards before. These handsome beasts live near the snow line all year round.The whole body is covered with gorgeous fur.On the plateau, they are beasts comparable to wolves.It has lightning-like speed and a flexible and light figure like a slingshot.Even in the face of wild yaks that are as tall as mountains, they are not timid at all, and often sneak up on wild yak calves that are behind.When there is a shortage of food, they will take risks and attack people's cattle and sheep.Unlike wolves who attack in packs, they are lone hunters who act alone, often only one female and one male cooperate with each other.

The situation is grim.The only thing Jimei is worried about is the little master in the tent.It is impossible to imagine how terrible it would be if she was attacked by a leopard.It must fight desperately, as long as the owner is not harmed, then all costs are negligible. At the moment when the tense attack preparation reached the peak of tension, the snow leopard jumped up, and the moment it leaped over, the whiteness of its abdomen was like a blade of silver light.Jimei let out a tragic bark like thunder, and rushed towards him like a black lightning strike. In an instant, the two beasts were hugging and biting together, black and white mixed together, and the sound was dull.They rolled far away, and neither side took a bite.They separated in an instant and jumped to the sides to confront each other.A wound was torn open on the leopard's left shoulder, and shocking blood flowed from its silver-white fur.

They were all panting heavily, their chests and abdomens opening and closing due to the intense breathing. The snow leopard knew that it was useless to fight, so it slyly turned its direction. The smell of horses and food lured it to the direction of the tent to attack.Ji Mei sensed its attempt at a glance, jumped over to block in front of it, and let out bursts of thick warning calls.The leopard wanted to make a quick fight, but it would dodge when it bit the food, but it was very angry when it was blocked by the Tibetan mastiff.Confronted with it, gasping for breath, preparing for the next attack.

All of a sudden, Ji Mei rushed to bite the snow leopard's hind leg unexpectedly.Although the snow leopard was momentarily shocked by the sudden attack, it still dodged nimbly, its huge body as nimble as a kitten escaping over a wall.Because of this dodge, Ji Mei failed to bite its bone decisively.But Snow Leopard turned to pay attention to the attack on its hind legs, which happened to reveal the flaws in Ji Mei's neck completely.So in an instant, Ji Mei rushed forward bravely and bit its neck.Jimei took advantage of the opportunity to penetrate deep into the tendon with his sharp canine teeth. Its occlusal muscles exerted all its strength to cut into the tight muscles of the leopard. Skin.

Well-trained sheepdogs in pastoral areas are very particular about their mouth attacks.Because the owner usually needs to peel off the animal's skin to sell, and the fur that has been bitten into pieces is obviously worthless, so they usually bite off the opponent's throat quickly, and try not to hurt a little fur.At this moment, Jimei found that a piece of the leopard's fur had been torn off, and it suddenly felt negligent, guilty and hesitant for a moment. The snow leopard only felt the humiliation and pain, took the opportunity to roll to the ground, shook off Jimei's bite, grabbed Jimei's lower jaw with its front paws, and tore it hard, kicked its hind paws, and pierced Jimei's abdomen.Jimei was injured, panting out of the way, the blood oozed out of the fur, staining the thick skirt hair red.Ji Mei felt a sharp pain. The horses were tethered to one side, neighing in panic, raising their hooves and kicking violently.The fierce and dull impact of the flesh, the roar of Jigme, and the panting of wild beasts sounded like the beating of drums on the ancient battlefield in the depths of the night. In the tent, Kassan was awakened by the sudden frenzied barking of dogs and the neighing of horses.Jian Sheng and Xin He were even more frightened and speechless.This wild bloody battle had undoubtedly taken place outside the tent.They couldn't believe that this kind of situation, which they only saw in comic strips or newspapers and magazines, would happen to them.Xin He suddenly felt his hands and feet were cold, his eyes went dark, and he was so frightened that he was about to faint.She leaned over and stuck to Jian Sheng's arms.She asked tremblingly, will we die? They fight with their lives (2) Jian Sheng tried to stay calm, clutching the Tibetan knife beside him, unconsciously covered in cold sweat.The barking of dogs, neighing of horses, panting, the crashing of flesh, and the clashing of sharp teeth became more and more intense.Jian Sheng felt that something should be done, so he picked up the Tibetan knife and tried to stand up and run out.Kassan grabbed him and shook his head.In the dark they still have no words.The excessive tension and intimidation had already caused the two of them to lose their ability to speak.Kassan shook his head and said, you were useless in the past, don't make trouble.Jian Sheng couldn't understand what she said, and stood there dripping with cold sweat.He wondered if he should poke his head out to see what was going on.Rather than being torn to pieces by wild beasts and dying in this wasteland, it is better to fight to the death.It wasn't until this time that Jian Sheng realized that under the dramatic torture of fate, he had an instinctive greed for the life that he had once despised without knowing what to do. Just when he was overwhelmed by nervous nerves, Kassan had crawled over and found their solar flashlight and gasoline lamp. Kassan suddenly turned on the flashlight in the tent, and the instant brightness made both of them dizzy. dazzled.The leopard outside the tent was also shocked by this inexplicable object that suddenly glowed all over, and it just happened to give Jimei a chance to breathe. Jian Sheng calmed down.Light.fire.This is the only way other than Jimei can stop the beast now.Jian Sheng quickly dug out the camera and gasoline lamp, and then found some flammable items, including his notebook, clothes, and if necessary, he could even decide to burn his sleeping bag.He found alcohol from the medicine bag, sprinkled it on paper and clothes, and set it on fire.He thought about the flash light again, so he grabbed the rangefinder and the external flash, opened the tent and rushed out. At that moment, he opened the tent, and saw a leopard entangled with Jigme not far away, the leopard's side neck was bloody and bloody, and Jinmei's body was also covered in blood, dripping with dark red blood. ground.It was the first time he was so close to a dangerous situation, and unconsciously he felt flustered and weak. Jian Sheng threw the burning object over.In the open space where they fought fiercely, several groups of fireballs falling from the sky made the leopards visibly frightened.Jian Sheng wittily took advantage of the situation and snapped the shutter to the leopard's eyes. The flash shot out sharp rays of light in the dark night, which startled the leopard.The shutter was still flashing, and the moment the leopard hesitated and retreated, gave Jimei a chance to fight back.Jimei panted heavily, and then immediately slammed into it with her whole body recklessly, knocking the snow leopard to the ground, pressing her paws against its body, biting its throat accurately, and closing her sharp teeth forcefully. The snow leopard struggled desperately. It was overwhelmed by Jimei and lay on its back, but its claws desperately inserted into Jimei's abdomen, tearing a long gash severely.Ji Mei's blood seemed to be poured down, dyeing the snow leopard's white fur red. Ji Mei only felt a sharp pain.But it still didn't relax at all, instead, it bit the snow leopard's throat more tightly because of the severe pain.It tasted warm blood with a strong fishy smell in its mouth, bubbling viscously and bubbling, trickling down the snow leopard's neck.The leopard was still struggling, getting weaker and weaker, and finally its paws softened. it died. Pantomime silence.There was only the urgent, hollow panting of Jigme.Then it fell limply on top of the snow leopard like a sandbag that had been poked through and limp.The two beasts were glued together in a bloody mess. Ji Mei slightly closed her eyes.Seems to be falling asleep.It was as if nothing happened. Jian Sheng and Kasang suppressed their violent heartbeats and approached it cautiously.The mottled bloodstains on the ground spread across the dark ground like snow lotuses in full bloom.Kassan knelt beside Ji Mei, sobbing and stroking its thick long hair.They gently moved Jimei away from the leopard's body.In this way, they were surprised to see that under Jimei's blood-soaked long hair, there was a shocking long slit on the lower jaw and bottom abdomen, dragging the black intestines scattered out.There is even a bitten wound on the side of the abdomen. For Kassan's touch, Jimei just slightly raised his eyelids, and then he closed his eyes again, panting heavily and wearily as if he was going to sleep.It makes people feel that it is so tiring.Like a child who has been playing in the depths of the grassland for a day. Jian Sheng rushed into the tent, took out all the emergency medicines and bandaged it.Thick blood soon soaked the insignificant gauze.When Jian Sheng's hand touched Ji Mei's wound, it only trembled slightly because of the pain, but it was as weak and docile as a kitten, and it didn't even open its eyes.Kassan finally couldn't bear it anymore, huge tears fell down and hit Jimei's body.Like a blossoming lotus. Jian Sheng wanted to carry Jimei back into the tent, but Jimei was too heavy, and the wound would be stimulated and cause severe pain when moving, so he had to give up this idea.He stood by Jimei's side and saw its long hair fluttering in the wind without landing.As if to merge with the night.Xin He came out of the tent in shock, and seeing the horrific Ji Mei, couldn't help covering his face with his hands in shock. The wind still howled on the wasteland.The blood-thick night has become slightly lighter, and dawn is approaching.After an unknown amount of time, Ji Mei opened her eyes.Like a vegetable that has been sleeping for many years, it moved its lips and moved its paws slightly.This tiny movement was noticed by Jian Sheng.He muttered in surprise, "Jimmy, Jimei woke up!" He pushed Kasang excitedly, Kasang raised his head and looked at Jimei, but his face was extremely calm, with a worried expression, and he didn't say a word.She gently stretched out her hand and gently touched the tip of Jimei's nose, where it was already dry and scorched and her breath was weak.Then she reached under the neck and stroked the thick coat.Ji Mei's eyes, as clear and peaceful as a holy lake, stared at her in the darkness.It is the affection of a loved one who is about to say goodbye for a long time.Suddenly, Jimi tried hard to stand up.Its body seemed so heavy and sluggish that the moment it stood up, the ground was trembling.The dust shook off its body, and was immediately blown away by the wind.It stood up so hard. They fight with their lives (3) Jian Sheng was filled with indescribable joy.Seeing that Ji Mei stood up unexpectedly, he was amazed at the strong vitality of this creature.However, this is only a momentary matter.After Jimei stood up, he looked back at Kassan, with a solemn and stagnant expression, as if he was on the farewell platform, turning his head to face his father who was waving his hands but hesitated to speak.Very moving. Kassan and Jigme stared at each other quietly.Kassan couldn't help recalling the distant late autumn when his father and mother left.One morning in that quiet autumn, the weather was surprisingly good, she was cooking mulberries, and in the distance, grandpa walked over holding a newborn puppy.She held it carefully in her arms, like a beautiful Barbie doll that a little girl in the city dreams of getting on her birthday.Little Jimmy has bright and noble eyes like rubies, and long black hair that shines.When he grows up, he will always have a seemingly casual but vigilant eyes, loyally protecting the owner's tent and sheep.Jin Mei's eyes are wide and far-reaching. Even if she is standing in front of Jin Mei, she seems to feel that Jin Mei's gaze penetrates her body, the tent and the flock in front of her, looking into the depths of the distant snow-capped mountains.It seemed as if he was silently confiding his heart to some companion deep in the snow mountain.The grassland on the pasture is dry and prosperous every year, and the cattle and sheep are leisurely returning to herd day after day against the faint twilight, and Jigme's increasingly vigorous figure is flying over from the sky.It seemed like an eagle gliding down from the top of the snow mountain, bringing back the thoughts of Kassan. During the many lonely and desolate cold nights after her grandfather left, Ji Mei was her only loyal and reliable companion.Embracing its warm and solid body like a campfire, she could quickly fall into a dream. Kassan was immersed in an inextricable vision.At this moment, Jimei had already turned his head and stared at the vast wilderness in the distance for a longer time. The dark gray horizon was the boundary of the world.Unfathomable.As if being summoned by someone, Ji Mei walked away sluggishly, walking towards the distance step by step.The two horses snorted and stamped their front hooves.Big eyes looked at Ji Mei sadly, as if saying goodbye to it. Jian Sheng and Xin He were stunned.They instinctively wanted to call Jimei to stop, but Kassan told them in a strange language like dreaming, saying that my grandfather once told me that when he realized that his life was coming to an end, the god mastiff would leave the family that had been loyal and guarded him all his life. The ranch and the owner's tent, walking far away alone.When they are alive, they dedicate their lives to their master and the flock, and after death, they dedicate their souls to the snowy mountain.Only the holy and distant mysterious homeland is their destination.They returned to God, to the golden banner on the top of the snow-capped mountain, overlooking the former pastures and homes.They are all children of God.Like a vulture, melting his life into the radiance of the sun. Jimei's black figure gradually disappeared into the indifferent depths of the night. Just like its ancestors, it set foot on the final herding return without hesitation.The imaginary image of the clear snow peak at the end of the field of vision is calling it home from the depths of the soul. The dawn that day was magnificent.The purple sun burst out on the horizon, soaked in the dark red of the blood of the previous night, dyeing the morning glow above the sky like pieces of torn brocade.Layers of colorful clouds transform into streamers of splashed ink, embedded in the whitish half of the sky.Strands of golden beams of light leaked from the gaps, as if a fire had been ignited on the dark blue wasteland, and the golden red glow like a billowing tide spread along the vertical and horizontal ravines of the earth. Looking at the sunrise, Jian Sheng and Xin He felt a pain in their chests from being overwhelmed.Xin He wanted to take a picture of this scene.However, she stared at the scenery reduced to the size of a fingernail through the lens for a long time, and suddenly felt disappointed.At that moment, she realized that no matter how extreme the width is, it cannot perfectly display the infinite world. Even if it is photographed, who can know from a photo that it has been copied by human optical equipment? Tiandi is the last home of a Tibetan Mastiff. She abandoned the idea of ​​filming this so-called monumental scene.She just needs to keep it in her memory.Only memory is the most perfect image. So she walked over and hugged Kassan.Another relative of the child has passed away.She didn't cry, didn't tremble in her frail shoulders.It is as tough and silent as the highland barley under the deep snow.Also like this earth. cowardly exaggerated sorrow 6 There are many sorrows in the world that are exaggerated by one's own imagination and cowardice, which can be used to win sympathy or betray oneself.However, if people really have great compassion in their hearts, they are usually silent. Jimei left, loyal and heroic so that he did not disgrace his bloodline, and Kassan knew that this might not be a good destination.Jian Sheng and Xin He decided to go back and send Kasang back to the grassland.Jin Mei has already left, she is lonely and helpless after all, it would be unkind to let her go deeper with him. In the early morning, the three of them started the road silently, returned along the original road, and walked for a whole day.After turning over the remnant vein that left them with nightmares, it was already dusk approaching.A gray gravel road finally appeared in the valley not far away.The thrills of the previous night prevented them from resting, and Jian Sheng and Xin He already felt very tired.The two of them were gasping for breath, but they still felt as if they were covered with a plastic sheet over their mouth and nose, and they were unable to breathe, and they had a lot of headaches.I really had the urge to take out my empty lungs and send them back to the mainland to fill them with oxygen and then install them in the chest cavity. Two people were waiting on the side of the road to stop the car.Standing on the side of the road, my legs are already weak, but I dare not sit down.Before coming here, the doctor warned them not to sit up and down suddenly, as the heart would not be able to bear it. Finally, a roaring engine was heard from far away. This steel machine created by human beings to compensate for their own physical weakness suddenly appeared on the primitive and desolate plateau like the primordial prehistoric desolation. It felt as abrupt as the emergence of Jurassic Park in New York.Jian Sheng walked to the middle of the road to stop the car.Drivers on the plateau usually stop to pick up strangers.Compassion abounds when a person is alone and aware that he may need help from others at any time.Such kind deeds may be able to ensure that one will not suffer retribution when asking for help from others.Based on such concerns, in ancient times, those bodhisattvas and gods were like insurance salesmen today, persuading people to accumulate virtue. The big truck stopped.The driver is a very young Tibetan guy.The small, slender eyes are like scabbards.At first, he looked shy.People are very patient.Talk to Jian Sheng in blunt Chinese to confirm that your car is going in the same direction as them.Jian Sheng took off the reins and saddle pads from the horse.The young driver helped Xin He throw his backpack and equipment on the truck.Jian Sheng patted the horses' necks and said to them, horses, go and see Ji Mei.You should be homesick too. After speaking, he felt that he was very emotionally sad.The three of them jumped into the high driver's seat together.Closed the door.The two horses lingered beside the cart for a long time, stamping restlessly.The horse was rented from a herdsman in Gaize with a very expensive deposit.It faithfully accompanied him for most of the journey.The originally free wildness has been domesticated and there is little left.Jian Sheng even doubted whether horses could survive like this without human breeding.But they were unable to continue walking back on foot.There was no way to take the horse into the cart.He watched the horse linger and was very worried that it would get too close to the truck and be run over under the wheels. The big truck roared onto the road.The two horses neighed and galloped close to the truck.Almost parallel to the car.The mane and ponytail are pulled into a flying straight line when running.The slender legs staggered and strided like flapping wings.The horse and the truck were side by side for an instant.But the truck went faster and faster, and the horse gradually fell into the distance, and then farther and farther away, farther and farther away.When he looked back again, there were only two horses standing alone on the melodiously stretched long and thin road, looking at the direction of the truck leaving with a sense of loss.Like a poor orphan.Against the blue sky, it makes people feel sad. Twilight darkens the blue of the sky.The clouds once again appeared in gorgeous colors like the sunrise.The sky filled with the afterglow of the setting sun is like a deep blue seabed, covered with clusters of gorgeous corals. Jian Sheng sat next to the driver.Xin He and Kasang sat in the back, Xin He was not very comfortable.Quietly huddled in the seat.In the car, the young man's long and boring drive took a turn for the better because he had a passenger.He was excited to chat with Jian Sheng.He said, what are you doing so far away?This place is so poor that it doesn't even have air, so it can't compare with your city.Jian Sheng chuckled and didn't answer. He has been tossed by altitude sickness to death.The ever-increasing tinnitus, accompanied by the sound of the engine, I couldn't hear anything clearly.Feeling sick like motion sickness.Jian Sheng knew that he had to work hard and persevere. He leaned back on the seat and closed his eyes tiredly.Driving continues.He slowly felt and saw the memory. wasted too much time in the past 7 eighteen years old.His mother left and he fell ill.After recovering, he and Huai came back from the northern countryside, half a year before the next year's professional examination season.I found that professor again and planned to start preparing to apply for the Academy of Fine Arts again.He was too late in school homework and had to work hard to catch up, so he had classes in school during the day, but he had to rush back to draw with a group of children at the professor's place in the evening for self-study.On weekends, when I came back from school after taking make-up classes, I hurried back to the professor's studio.And the schoolwork in school is getting tighter and tighter. He wasted too much time in the past, and now he only feels strenuous. When I was in school, because I couldn't go to evening self-study in the evening, I bent down on the table to do questions during the break and at noon.During the lunch break, I hurriedly ate a light meal in the small restaurant in front of the school, and then returned to the empty classroom to read and study by myself.From the bleak winter of the year my mother died to the summer of the following year, life had been so tight and rigid. He can always remember how Huai patiently and silently accompanied him in the year when he was repeating his studies.Every detail is taken care of.Every night when I came back from the professor's studio, it was already eleven o'clock.As long as Huai is free, he will pick him up.They walked from the east gate of the Academy of Fine Arts to the west gate, and it was dark at night.The bright green and dazzling plants touched by the city's sunlight and rain in the daytime are dimly swaying with the wind in the dim yellow street lamp light at this moment, like some forgotten figures. The young man walked behind Huai, his steps dragging.In a day, only this moment is the most beautiful. He heard Huai who was walking in front asking him, are you tired?Rest early when you go back.I warmed up a glass of milk for you and put it in the kitchen, then went back and drank it. He was suddenly agitated, and felt that he was living in a person's gratuitous kindness, suffocating like drowning.He just stepped forward and hugged Huai from behind.They are apprehensive and calm.Huai heard the boy's slightly choked voice.He called her Huai.But no other words.Magnolia magnolias are blooming vigorously again, and the flowers are large and white. At night, he dreamed of Huai and his mother from time to time. Dreamed that he and Huai were riding an old and empty bus, slowly going deep into a certain dense and humid forest.Green vines sway by the window, dripping sweet dew.The sunlight turned green and shot into the dark compartment in columns.The icy sapphire-like wind slightly lifted the hair on Huai's temples. He smiled contentedly and gratefully beside Huai.However, when he turned his head again, Huai had already disappeared.Like a premeditated farewell, he sat alone in the dark carriage, panicking. Soon the car stopped, the door opened, and a voice called out to her in the lush jungle: Jian Sheng, come, follow me.Jian Sheng. Unconsciously, he slowly got up and got out of the car, and followed the voice of nothingness deep into the boundless greenery.Gradually, he saw his mother standing at the end of the road waving to him.That posture seems to be welcoming relatives on the platform under the moonlight.He put his hand on the palm of his unfamiliar mother, and the mother led him to continue to approach the depths. Do you know where you are going.Jian Sheng. I have no idea.he answered. Jian Sheng, I can't pass the way forward, you can go forward by yourself. His mother let him go, and Jian Sheng's footsteps were pulled by some powerful force, and he moved forward unconsciously.I turned around frequently, only to see my mother's face gradually blurred, the bus disappeared, and there was no Huai.As if stretching out its hands, the forest followed behind him and slowly covered everything up, as if wanting him to forget the past. The forest is more dense, almost like a tropical rainforest, showing the severity of a tomb.Stepping over the delicate green branches and leaves, he kept walking forward.Suddenly, two particularly sturdy trees appeared in front of them, with a rusty iron gate in the middle.He pushed open the door, and the huge green-winged bird soared into the air, singing mournfully. A huge white tomb appeared in front of him hidden in the jungle.Moss creeps up the white headstones.He walked over and gently brushed the leaves and wild fruits that covered the headstone.is the mother's name. Jian Sheng woke up here.Drenched in sweat, I opened my eyes, only to see the shadowy ceiling and the shadows of trees whirling outside the window.Looking back at the dream just now, the plot suddenly became blurred, and he couldn't remember it.But the teenager felt the metaphorical meaning of this dream so clearly.This is the epitome of his growth. He felt very thirsty, his chest was constricted, and his breathing was difficult.In such darkness, he wanted to call Huai softly, but his throat was dry, as if he had suddenly suffered from aphasia, and he couldn't make a sound. He knew he would never sleep again.So I got up from bed and drank some water.He walked to the door of Huai's room and gently pushed the door open.Just standing quietly at her door, watching her sleep in the dark.Until the faint morning light filled the room.He just disappeared. Jian Sheng knew that he had stayed in this dream for a long time.But it won't be a lifetime after all.So he is nostalgic.In a way, he has always been blind, a teenager who couldn't grow up. When the Spring Festival approached that year, Jian Sheng's professional examination was imminent.The professor's tutoring has ended. After Jian Sheng came back from school every day, Huai tutored him in painting at home and trained him in the test items: sketching, sketching, coloring, and creation.Holding Jian Sheng's paintings, she always smiled gratifiedly like a mother.She always encouraged him, you are the best. Starting in February, I traveled to two or three cities to go to the test centers of various colleges and universities until April.In order to accompany him to the exam, Huai asked for leave again.Live in a hotel, and prepare charcoal, pencils, brushes, and paints for him before the exam.Give him advice for the exam. When Jian Sheng took the exam, she stood in the cold wind of the cold spring and waited for him. All their efforts were not in vain.Jian Sheng got an astonishing perfect score.He is not a student of the attached high school, and he did not learn from those famous professors of the Academy of Fine Arts in order to get acquainted with the face, but among the Academy of Fine Arts that he applied for, his professional grades were all ranked in the top ten.It's a total miracle. After returning from the professional examination, I began to busy myself with school homework and prepare for the college entrance examination.Such hard and busy days lasted until July.He gritted his teeth and insisted.Because he knew that Huai was kind to him. During the three days of the college entrance examination, Huai still stood under the scorching sun and waited for him.He said repeatedly, don't come, there is no need.But Huai still came.On the day after finishing the last class, the sun was setting, and he came out of the examination room alone, and saw Huai's figure in the crowd from afar. This is already what happened when I was nineteen years old.From twelve to nineteen, seven years is, after all, very long. Li Ge's graduation season 8 It's the graduation season full of songs.Jian Sheng got the admission letter from the top art academy without any suspense.Huai was very pleased.And Jian Sheng said to her, Huai, these are just empty words to me.If you still want me to stay here, I can give up everything. Huai said, Jian Sheng, you should understand that this is exactly what I am worried about.I accompany you just to let you grow.But definitely not to keep you here.You can't go on like this forever.Can't never grow up.You need to go back to the world of your peers, to a simple and independent state, and you need to find a girl of your age to fall in love with and get married.To have a normal life.So it is necessary to leave. But I just want to be with you.Always.He said like a child. Jian Sheng - she couldn't bear it, she reached out to stroke his head - don't let me down.Jian Sheng.If I say that I have expectations for you, I hope to see you truly grow into a man.Nothing is missing.Can be stoic, kind, independent, and forgetful. On a cool evening that summer, they took a walk.Walk through the lush and quiet garden, and come to the three-story building with red brick walls.Huai led him into her studio. In the first days, teenagers under the age of thirteen followed Huai to paint here.Seven years later, the studio is still full of easels and discarded paints.There is a thicker layer of lead dust and indelible paint on the ground than before, and there are also intentional or unintentional variegated stains on the walls.Huge floor to ceiling windows, very old curtains, faded flannelette, heavy and dusty. He will always remember this place.Over the years, there are still tall deciduous trees outside the window, which are green all year round in the warm south.In midsummer, the cicadas sing one wave higher than the other, and the shadows of palm tree trees are reflected in the empty studio.Tree shadows seem to be spicy.Shaking off.In those distant summers, he walked through the shaded stone roads of the Academy of Fine Arts almost every day until he arrived at this brick-red three-story building covered with dark green vines.The plants along the way have bright and saturated colors, and the leaves are shaking in the hot midsummer breeze, shining bright green like a dagger.The fans in the studio clanged and turned, and the noise of cicadas sounded like summer. When drawing tired or lost feeling, Huai simply let the students take a rest.Huai chatted with them about the Eagles band that he was obsessed with when he was a student at the Academy of Fine Arts, the haunted May 17 dormitory, and things with her college boyfriend.Jian Sheng asked her, he must love you very much, right? Huai looked back at him and said, Don't imagine others to be loyal to you. This happened when Jian Sheng was thirteen years old.But now, the lonely child who stays in this studio and concentrates on drawing plaster heads has unknowingly stood on the tail of teenagers. In the dark and empty studio with no lights on, Jian Sheng sat on the high stool in front of the easel, and she couldn't see his face.She only heard the boy say, Huai, I don't know how to face your kindness to me.Man really cannot choose his situation.That's why I so choose not to meet you.而这些年来，我所感觉到的幸福，却不是语言可以描述。Huai.我知道我离开你之后，必定要有一段艰难的时间慢慢去习惯从此独自一人。 你也许不知道，在最初陷入对你的迷恋里的日子里，母亲迟迟不归的夜晚，我开始在你的楼下彻夜徘徊。那个时候我想，若有个人此生能够日日夜夜和你一起共同生活，那么他该是多么多么的幸运。而后来，我没有想到我的际遇和你的善良，却真的让我能够如此万幸地和你一起生活。虽然并非漫长，但对于我而言却也知足。 我们曾经无比靠近，但是却像是血亲一样，除了拥抱，其他的一切都是禁忌。我知道你的不愿，也就没有企图。我们非亲非故，共同度过这些年漫长的岁月，却不是情人。right. 淮，告诉我，你不爱我。少年说到这里，噙着泪水望着她。 母亲去世之后，因了淮的陪伴，他已经没有再哭过。而此刻他只觉得回忆太丰盛，岁月太美。他无法承受。 在这黑暗的房间中，他仿佛是一个与生俱来的盲人，从容地对另一个盲人说着关于光的谎言。 而淮，自始至终都是沉默。 那个夜晚，少年辗转无眠。夜深的时候，他起床来，走出自己的房间，来到淮的房间门口，却看到门缝下射出一道灯光。他于是推开门。见到淮坐在床上看书。简生像在最初的日子里那样，走过去钻进淮的被子。他拥抱她，抚摸她的脸，颤抖并且忐忑地亲吻她。 那是这么多年来，简生第一次吻她。他伸出手关掉了灯，房间陡然陷入黑暗。他被自己的血脉贲张的紧张所窒息，心脏已经要碎裂一般狂跳不止，胸口的伤阵阵隐痛。 他一言不发，滚烫的手抚去淮的睡衣，颤抖着停留在她单薄而冰凉的肩膀上。埋下头深吻她的脖颈，再次闻到他熟悉多年的植物辛香。 淮的泪水簌簌而下，闭上眼睛，仍然是一下子就把他推开。 简生，若你还对我心存感恩，就不要再这样。我们不是情人。也不会成为情人。我对你的感情，并不是如此简单。我亦需要你尊重它。 话到这里，只剩沉默凝结在黑暗的空气中。他的手僵住了。一动不动。良久，简生难过地从她身上退下来，倒去一边。 淮，对不起。他对她抱歉。 淮，其实我们的一生，并不缺乏幸福。然而为什么我们总是只对经历过的痛苦记忆犹新，而总是不自觉就忽视了那些虽然微小但是毕竟存在过的幸福呢。我母亲便是如此。 而淮，是和你一起生活，才使得我无比地欣喜懂得，我所获得的福祉是这么庞大，进而一再地感激命运。无论我曾经遭受怎样的疼痛，或者将要面临什么厄运，若这一切只是跟你在一起时的幸福的代价，我会是所么的甘心。淮，你是对的。若我再对这幸福有所奢求，那么将会是多么的贪婪不仁。