Chapter 13 The Lights of the Earth Back to School Continue to School

back to school continue school (1) 17 The teenager returned to school shortly after to continue his studies.School is already in a strange place for him.Those desks, chairs and textbooks seemed to be no longer his world.Since he intends to apply for the Academy of Fine Arts, his grades are not that important.Huai found him an old professor in the Academy of Fine Arts who participated in the review of candidates' test papers, and specially provided targeted and intensive counseling. In class that day, the professor asked me to draw a group of still lifes as usual.During the process of painting, Jian Sheng handled the overall relationship of the picture very well, and the colors of other objects were also accurately grasped, but he could not draw the glass cup placed at the apex of the triangular composition anyway.Jian Sheng revised it repeatedly, but nothing was right.The coverage of titanium dioxide in high light is limited, and the picture becomes grayer and grayer.The wound on his chest throbbed with pain, as if there was some ominous omen.The pain distracted him, and even the shape of the glass became more and more out of shape, and the color became grayer and grayer, making it impossible to write any more.

The professor repeatedly said, no, redraw.No, redraw.Later, the teacher threw him a stack of paper and ordered him to keep drawing until he finished drawing the wine glass, until he remembered how to draw the glass at this angle. The students had already finished their homework and left. Jian Sheng was still sitting there drawing. The painting got worse and worse, and the teacher became more and more picky... There were many wine glasses densely drawn on the drawing paper. The teacher always said it was wrong, or wrong.Jian Sheng hates "back" painting, he thinks it is an insult to painting, he only trusts his own eyes and brushstrokes.In the end, he was already drawing like crazy, but the professor still let him continue with a stern face.

He clutched his chest and said to the teacher, I'm not feeling well.The old professor said, then go and rest for ten minutes, and then draw again. When Jian Sheng used to draw with Huai, whenever he couldn't find the feeling, Huai would completely make him stop and rest and divert his attention, but he always felt very comfortable the next day.However, this intensive training for the exam is not so easy at all. It is no different from taking a math or physics exam. There are theoretical painting rules that meet the marking teacher's vision and must be followed. The teacher said proudly in his ear that every year for the entrance examination of the Academy of Fine Arts, there are several students who want to paint and cry here.But after getting through it and being admitted to the Academy of Fine Arts, there is no one who does not smile.I am strict with you, and I am responsible for you.

In the end, Jian Sheng finally compromised, and according to the teacher's instructions, he highlighted the glass and reluctantly handed over the task.It was already late when he got home, thinking along the way that there were more than a dozen sketches and a time-limited sketch to complete, he only felt tired and sleepy, his chest injury was getting more and more painful, and he was extremely depressed . He stopped a taxi and rushed back to Huai's house.Along the way, he only felt that his chest was choked and panicked, and it was very painful.As soon as he got out of the car, he rushed up the stairs and knocked on the door in a panic.

Huai opened the door, and stretched out his hand abnormally to caress his shoulder.He hesitated to speak. He looked over strangely, and suddenly saw his uncle who had been staying in Singapore sitting on the sofa at this moment.Look dignified. Jian Sheng only felt his heart beating wildly.He was nervous and cramped, feeling the soreness in his throat, so he watched his uncle hand over a large envelope to his hand.The uncle said, Jian Sheng, your mother asked me to find you and give this to you.Please open it yourself. Jian Sheng opened it suspiciously and tremblingly, and saw a notarized will, two passbooks that opened an account in the name of his uncle, a thick letter, and a small key, which was exactly the same as the one his mother gave him on the night of his birthday .

He only felt a stabbing pain in his chest and was slightly dizzy.He never expected that the night when he was eighteen turned out to be the last time he saw his mother. In the investigation of the smuggling and corruption case, a series of related business people, military and political officials, customs officials, etc. were all prosecuted for smuggling, corruption and bribery.Almost all of the mother's business and private property has been confiscated or publicly auctioned.During the time when the Dongchuang incident happened, all the people involved were desperately moving, still hoping to calm down the turmoil, or try to escape.Because she was afraid that Jian Sheng would be stimulated, her mother never told him before the outcome was decided.All in vain.She must accept her fate.

In the thick stack of letter paper, Jian Sheng read his mother's last words with pain. Jian Sheng: I thought that things would calm down in the end and all difficulties would be overcome, and I didn't want your mood to be disturbed any more, so I have been hiding it from you all this time.However, contrary to our wishes, there are some things we cannot avoid after all.It is true that my mother will not have the courage to face the prison life for the rest of her life.I just hope that you can live a good life. Jian Sheng, my mother does not think she is a good mother, whether it is abandoning you after giving birth to you or treating you poorly after re-finding you: After all, mother is not a peaceful person in character. I have never been able to obtain a peaceful and non-complaining state of mind during the twists and turns. This kind of unwillingness and resentment towards fate even affects your growth.After bringing you back to my side, I stubbornly and foolishly believed that I already had the financial ability and conditions to provide you with making up for your lack of childhood, so I couldn't wait for you to grow up according to my will from the very beginning.Now that I think about it, I really forced you to achieve my unfulfilled goals... Most parents born in that era had this kind of misfortune.However, this is my greatest sorrow as a woman and a mother.

In the days after bringing you back to the city, in the life spent with you, although my mother often unconsciously expressed some anger to you that elders should not have, but, in all fairness, life and death, you let your mother experience The joy and pride of being a mother.Looking back on today's end, in just a few short years, your existence is indeed the last and only satisfaction and pride of my mother's life. Only now did I understand that having a bloodline and a life that can be extended to one's own children is the only comfort for those who are struggling as parents in this world.It is also a real and visible miracle.This kind of mood and this kind of meaning may only be understood after you become a father in the future.Of course, when you are a father, you must not be as hard-hearted as your father.But now, you have to forgive your father.After all, in this world, if one does not forgive the ruthlessness and injustice of the world, one will never be able to obtain a stable and peaceful state of mind and life.This is the last advice of my mother's life.

Think back to more than twenty years ago, when I first met your father, he gave me a box of poems written on birch bark.In one of the poems, he wrote, I will leave you a future where the sea breeze blows and the tides come and go. This sentence once touched me deeply.I, too, fell in love with your father because of the vain dreams I had about it.After all, our bones are full of yearning for a peaceful and happy life.But poetry is not life after all.In the years that followed, we lived in endless complaints and despair.Hard and wretched.It was also from that time that my mother, almost with an attitude of revenge for life, began to make a living blindly by any means, trying to become independent and tough enough to look down on the great regret of her youth.

Today's ending is probably a relief for me.Your father abandoning you and leaving is the beginning of mother's disappointment in the world.Your existence once made me feel that I was burdened with too heavy apologies and responsibilities.I have always wanted to compensate for your growth, but I have never been able to find a suitable way.Although the gap between us makes me sad, it must have a greater impact on you.Because you are a weak child after all.Mom knows that you grew up very unhappy.This is the pity that my mother still cares about at the end of the road, really. Shengsheng, fortunately, I have prepared some property for you and left it in Citigroup's safe.The money is not much anymore, because most of it has been confiscated, and the rest is just a part of the legal inheritance from the ex-husband.Mom's money, in the past, can be used for you to spend without worry. Although this is obviously not a good way to compensate you, I can't find any other more practical way to satisfy you.Now the rest of the money, I managed to keep it in the name of my uncle, for you to go to school and support yourself.It's difficult for you, and you must be frugal and live independently in the future.Mom is sorry for you.Shengsheng, mother only wants you to be strong.No matter what kind of suffering we experience, as long as we still have the almighty life, there is hope.This is also the reason why my father and I named you Jian Sheng. I don't want to, but this sad prophecy has been fulfilled today.

back to school go back to school (2) Your life is still long, and Mom doesn't want to have hope now, so Mom gave up.Mom can't imagine, compared with death, living in prison will bring you a burden and shadow again.I have to admit that it might not be my wish for you to live with Huai.She really is such a kind and sincere woman, how rare it is for you to meet such a benefactor.Her care for you, no matter what the feelings are, can finally make me choose to end my life without any worries.It is said that the greatest pain in life is that the child wants to support but the relative is not there. If Huai is not with you, how can I let you go and leave alone?I must die with regret.Jian Sheng, you have to treat her like a family member and remember the kindness she gave you. In fact, as I get older, my mother feels more and more meaningless about money.This is not to excuse my mother's sin, because my mother's original intention of falling into this situation is just to leave more property for you to live comfortably.After all, this world is so cruel, orphans and widows, without money, it will be difficult to move forward.Heaven has eyes, maybe God thought that this would harm you, so he forced my mother to stop doing this.But how do you live without money.You have to understand that the money is not easy, you have to know how to plan and arrange, because your future life depends entirely on yourself. Shengsheng, I don't know if you still have resentment towards your mother or there is still a deep gap between us, but no matter what, you have to believe that your mother loves you.Mom really hopes that you can have a future where the sea breeze blows and the tides come and go. love you forever.bless you. Mother Jian Sheng held the thin letter paper in both hands, tears streaming down his face. It was long after his mother passed away that his uncle told him one after another, "Jian Sheng, I wonder if you still remember that man named He."You should know his relationship with your mother.But Jian Sheng, don’t misunderstand her.Your mother has secrets, you know. She never wanted you to bear any more shadows, so she never told you—after bringing you back, she was eager to make up for you and give you a more comfortable life, so she was repeatedly coerced and humiliated by He.Before He Zao met your mother, he specially colluded with smuggling. He happened to see your mother as weak, so he deliberately made things difficult for your mother's import and export ships at the customs, forcing them to be used as smuggling merchant ships to supply the mainland. goods.There is nothing your mother can do.What's the point of such a dead end, even if the profit is 37%? Jian Sheng, your mother has been humiliated by being manipulated by him for so long.Do you remember how many times your mother was suddenly sick and bedridden.That was the result of your mother's miscarriage alone.She even still has to hide it and put on a lot of effort to make it look like she just has a cold in your eyes. Your mother's money...that money is what she once dreamed of for you to go abroad to study painting...do you ever know her painstaking efforts.Jian Sheng, you have to remember, this is the sorrow of our little people.There is never anything we can do. Jian Sheng, some things we can't bear to witness will not be delayed because of our embarrassment.We need to forget and move on, even though I know it's going to be terrible for you.Your mother's death is just another grave for this world.And for you, maybe the whole world is buried. Jian Sheng, you have to forgive your mother.When your mother was alive, she cried to me behind your back several times about your deep estrangement. Often when she couldn’t help crying, she suddenly thought that it was time for you to go home from school, so she immediately went back to cook for you.That's how she waits for you.But you didn't go home, you were with Huai.How could this not make her sad. Your mother's character is indeed not likable, very strong, full of resentment, lack of tenderness and patience.Character determines destiny.She knows that as a woman, her disposition can never bring any shortcuts and good luck. No one ever loved her.Even you didn't love her in the past.Isn't it.Even a little bit of love has never been obtained.She is a woman, working alone in the business field, and the difficulties are beyond words. She doesn't want you to be influenced by her character from the bottom of her heart.She knows you like Huai because Huai is gentle and kind.She even always hopes that you can get the warmth and care that you lacked in the growth stage from the interaction with her.However, after all, you will grow into a man after all, you have to remember that there are some things that you have to bear by yourself. Now that these things have happened, your mother's last wish is for you to face them with a lenient attitude. After all, the cruelty and injustice in this world are such common things, and there will be many, many more in the future.As long as your heart is peaceful and content, no suffering can hit you. Shengsheng, I know that the most painful thing in the world is that the child wants to support but the relative is not there.But now your choice but to die is to live bravely - just like your mother's bravery - even in the suicide note, your mother didn't mention to you the great shame she suffered as a woman . After all, although she has suffered all her life, she has always loved you so much. mother died before going to prison 18 At the age of eighteen, Jian Sheng's mother died before being imprisoned.Jian Sheng was holding his mother's suicide note in his hand, and the wound on his chest hurt violently, as if being pierced by a sharp knife again. At the funeral of my mother, there were no other relatives except my uncle and Huai.Because of her professional relationship, her mother had a lot of contacts during her lifetime.The gathering and separation above the vanity, hypocrisy, flattery, and intrigue are all just passing fireworks.The various states of life are like returning sails from all over the world. At the end of the strange road, a handful of pale and white ashes are sprinkled, how many weak human feelings can retain the regret of being richly nourished and poorly buried, at the end of the sad elegy, to the lonely soul under this silent green monument Kowtow a so-called condolences of affection and righteousness?And in this world, between life and death, how many bitter souls whose bones are not cold have escaped into the emptiness, but they can no longer find a trace of memory in this world? For a moment, the young man only felt that the world was too quiet, as if he was alone in the vast and silent land, and the sky was full of snow and hail.The black wandering clouds above the sky, like patches of humble fate gathered together, signify the eternal salvation of death. He forgave his mother, but because of the delay in forgiving, he couldn't forgive himself in this life. Jian grew up kneeling in front of her mother's grave, ending her boyhood in the throbbing pain of chest trauma and tears. Uncle helped Jian Sheng go through special leave procedures at school and took Jian Sheng to Singapore.In the bank safe, he got half a million savings left by his mother and two properties.Uncle told him that you still have some domestic savings left by your mother in my name, all of which are in the passbook.Don't use the property here, save it for later.I just follow your mother's wishes and bring you here to see the last shelter your mother gave you.Jian Sheng, everything is arranged by yourself now.Be worthy of your mother's painstaking efforts. Jian Sheng, you should grow up. Uncle is still in Singapore.When Jian Sheng returned to China, he still lived with Huai. In the days after his mother passed away, Jian Sheng often vomited inexplicably, unable to eat, and lost 20 catties within a week.Severe collapse caused him to faint suddenly while painting.Due to the abnormal spasm of the intracranial aorta caused by nervous tension, the brain is hypoxic, and he is extremely sleepy, but he suffers from insomnia every night.He always has a splitting headache.Even when I fall asleep, I still have nightmares. The time for the professional examination is very close.Huai knew that Jian Sheng's condition could not be admitted to the Academy of Fine Arts, so he suspended his intensive painting training with the professor and asked him to stay at home.She sent him to see a doctor, but she didn't listen to the doctor's advice and asked him to stay in some kind of hospital.Because she knows that this is not something that can be settled by simple pills.Referring to the doctor's prescription, he took some medicine lightly, and then spent a lot of time patiently accompanying Jian Sheng. Huai and this young man are not related, but in his growth, no matter in good times or bad times, he is willing to accompany him.She is tired, but she observes his heart and health carefully, sometimes better than her mother.Jian Sheng knew how precious this care was, and had always cooperated with Huai, so he recovered quickly.After several months, Jian Sheng's condition finally improved.First sleep was restored, and then eating was normal.Finally, depressive symptoms were also reduced. 19 When spring was about to come, Jian Sheng asked Huai, could you go back to the northern countryside with me again. She didn't know if it was suitable, so she had to consult a doctor.The doctor told her that it was fine to go for a walk as long as she avoided any sensitive or deep conversations, or anything that touched the heart. So she felt relieved and set off on the journey with Jian Sheng again. Sleeping on the sound of the railway tracks, the two of them headed north again.On the train, Huai just occasionally asked him plainly, are you hungry?Do you want to eat something? He usually said, it doesn't matter, I follow you.Then continue to quietly watch the scenery outside the window continue to flash.At that time, his heart was already at peace.Big love is silent, big talk is rare.No matter what the pain is, the kind person you love will stay by your side as always, giving you such care and care. In this world where human feelings are thin, what more can you ask for in this life. When the train stopped on the platform halfway, Huai always kindly got off the car to buy some hot food, but Jian Sheng's diet was too light and fastidious during the treatment period, and as a result, he had severe diarrhea after eating chicken legs bought from a small stall.Huai sighed to express his apology and worry, but Jian Sheng laughed and joked, found the pill by himself, drank water and swallowed it. He already knew subconsciously that in this world, he was no different from an orphan.You must be aware of the changes in temperature and self-knowledge to live a good life. Finally, the long journey was over, and the two came to the village where they used to live with Granny Li.Within a week, Jian Sheng went deep into the lakes and meadows that he was so attached to in his childhood one by one.Most were still solidly frozen, nothing but wild shades of gray and white. It was at the end of winter, and spring had not come yet.The bleak winter scenery looks particularly decayed.The glacial lake is still frozen, and there are still children poking holes with ice jigs to catch fish.Jian Sheng stared at those innocent children for a long time, and suddenly saw the trajectory of time so clearly.The dilapidated house hidden in the snowdrifts and wild grass used to be the one where I lived with Granny Li for ten years.And a thatched hut not far away is the former home of my father and mother. Together, Jian Sheng and Huai walked into the hut cautiously.The roof had collapsed, and faint light poured down from the hole in the roof, passing through the room in the form of pillars of light, casting spots of light on the ground.Like moonlight.The dark blue mud walls are covered with moss, and the corners are full of weeds.There is nothing on the empty stove.A small insect crawled slowly over it.There were not even bedsteads and iron pots left in the house.Maybe it was removed.Jian Sheng looked around the room steadily.He couldn't imagine that many years ago, this was the dwelling place of his father and mother.His initial life was also a brief lust that sprouted in this dilapidated house.He looked at the house and still felt sad, but he had to force himself to face it all the time. After all, only by facing the sun can the shadows be left behind.Jian Sheng was thinking like this, and he really felt that he was gaining the courage to transform and grow up again.Or rather, start to grow old. He took a scarf from his pocket. It was a birthday present that was originally intended to be given to my mother on the morning of her birthday when she was thirteen years old.He never expected that because of his naivety, this gift was not given out until his mother passed away.He gently placed the scarf on the dark stove.Then quietly walked out of the hut. Pushing open the creaking old wooden door, he looked at the vast frozen lake in front of him.Take a deep breath of the bitter air.Without any thoughts.I just feel that my body is very light, and my heart is quiet and empty.He shook Huai's hand and said, Huai, look, this is my home. Jian Sheng just stood still, in this still frozen vast world, he really missed his mother, and his mother's extremely bleak life as a tragic little person in a wrong era. They stay here to sketch.He left this indigo lake on the canvas.The foggy color, the dusty memory is generally thick and hard to touch.It's been a while since I touched a paintbrush, but when I start sketching this time, I feel infinitely unfamiliar.But it is still a painting I like. At night when they revisited the old places in the northern countryside, they still lived in the local houses.In the cold night, the two of them hugged each other to sleep.He buried his head on Huai's neck, and from a warm and comfortable angle, he smelled the familiar plant fragrance on her body, like the breath of a fantasy home.He closed his eyes, and kissed deeply for a long time the moonlight-like moist skin on Huai's neck.He is not asleep. In the darkness and silence, with his eyes closed, he whispered to Huai beside him, Huai, how lucky I am.If all the past is just the necessary price for such a night, then how willing I am. Huai. smile at the girl third chapter The longer I know you, the more I feel that you are a refreshing water in my life journey Wanting to forget the world several times, always meeting each other quietly at the end of mountains and rivers, it is a kind of reluctance to give up I know that I cannot be your partner and walk with you.In this world where our eyes can see and our ears can hear, God will not put my hand in yours.I have already promised all these For so many years, I am very lucky to be your biggest sharer. Every time we meet, you never hesitate to pour your abundant life into my cup My stubbornness is not because I blame you for any reality, but because I am loyal and trustworthy to my personal life.You're beautiful, you've always been more beautiful than me ——Jian Zhen's "April Cracking Silk" 1 May I have your name?Xinhe asked Kasang. Kassan couldn't understand.Just looked up at her.Jian Sheng helped, took out a handbook, checked her phonetic notation, and asked her in blunt Tibetan, what's your name? Kassan.she answered softly. My name is Xin He.She gestured with her hands on her chest.Smile at the girl. Come, Kasang, Xinhe called her name, trying to pull the girl into the tent.Kassan dodged it all at once.She ran back to Rilang's tent, and there was still a lot of work to do. Ren Suo asked her curiously, who are these two people? I do not know either.They may have come here to play. Why come here to play.What's the fun here. I have no idea. That night Jib stood outside again, quietly watching in the dark.Ren Suo was distracted from his work, and Kasang noticed it.Kassan asked, why don't you marry him?Ren Suo blushed all of a sudden, pretending to be annoyed and said, who said I want to marry him!Kassan said understandingly, you go out quickly.I do the rest by myself.Ren Suo looked grateful, and immediately got out. Kasang squeezed out the remaining tsampa by himself, added a bowl of goat's milk to the copper basin as usual, cut off half a leg of goat, and threw it to Jigme.Jimei jumped up and grabbed the leg of lamb in mid-air, easily bit it into two pieces, then tore it into pieces, and swallowed it whole in two bites. The endless dark night is dotted with distant and deep stars.Kassan closed his eyes and fell into a dream again.She always sees endless snow in her dreams. A dark snowfield at night.Silent and endless.She staggered and followed a person on the road, and every step was caught in deep snow, which was very cramped and difficult. The snow of the holy mountain in the sunlight.Parents stayed in that towering mountain and never came back.Grandpa told her that your father and mother are buried in this snow mountain.They will return to the land of their ancestors. The sound was like a hallucination.She never thought about when such a dream would end. In the next morning, Jian Sheng and they packed their bags and were ready to go.Shangxia Qinglunzhuo Grassland, the most beautiful lover of photographers.They were going there to collect scenery. Before leaving, Rilang's wife prepared freshly made blood sausage and brought it up.Freshly slaughtered sheep, take out the blood that has not yet completely coagulated, stir the chopped offal and meat, stuff it into the washed sheep intestines, put it in a pot and boil it, and it is considered cooked when the water boils.However, because the air pressure is too low, even the cooked blood sausage still smells of fresh blood and strong mutton smell when cut open.Jian Sheng and Xin He felt a little uncomfortable with this authentic blood sausage.But they still cut two pieces with a knife and ate them. Say goodbye to the Rilang family.He took the two rented horses, put the two backpacks into the two leather bags hanging on both sides of the horse's back, and then took the reins and prepared to move forward. Kasang followed and looked at Xin He with longing eyes.Ji Mei followed behind her with piercing eyes.Xin He took two steps, and Kasang followed suit.The expression is stubborn and silent, like some kind of young animal with wild temperament.Xin He could feel that the child wanted to follow her.She looked back at Kassan and then at Rilang, feeling a little embarrassed.People are silent for a certain period of time. Finally, Ri Lang waved his hand and said to Kassan, follow her, maybe you can lead the way too.Take your Jimei, there is a bodyguard on the road.After speaking, a group of people walked back to the tent.At the end, Ri Lang turned his head and said with a sideways face, if you want to come back, this tent can still welcome you. Facing Kasang, Ren Suo showed a genuine expression of reluctance.Zhamocuo bit his lip and waved his whip.He stared at Kassan, still with the fierce eyes of a young eagle.Zha Mocuo suddenly jumped on his horse again, slammed his whip and rode away. Kassan watched the people's backs quietly, and she walked towards Xinhe and Jiansheng hesitantly until they all walked back to the tent.Ji Mei followed, her steps were prudent, loyal and docile.The strong frame and thick body are as strong and powerful as a yak.The long hair all over the body was gently danced by the wind. Jane was silent.He saw this thin child, with sharp and tenacious eyes that were washed away by the plateau wind.Cassan must be a good guide who is silent and faithful.Although Jian Sheng has no way of knowing why she is so enthusiastic about parting and embarking on the road at such an age.With a miraculous look in his eyes, he invited Kassan to go on the road. Three people, two horses and a dog.Take your time.The sky, blown very lightly by the wind, presents a melodious blue.Walking on the land closest to the sky, breathing in the cold and clean air here, you seem to feel that your lungs are not filled with thin air, but the dream of the water-blue sky.Jian Sheng and Xin He endured the fatigue caused by lack of oxygen, held the reins, and moved forward at an even pace. They plan to get out of this pasture first, and then continue north along the route that the locals took in exchange for food and salt to beat horses.There is her third photography destination.She wanted to stop on the legendary Shangqinglunzhuo Grassland, choose the best photography angle and set up a tent, waiting for the moment when the light and color of the scenery presented the most perfect moment.No one knows whether such waiting will bear fruit.Perhaps the only result after a week's wait was a snowstorm when the rations ran out. unexpected trouble 2 She carries a black professional camera bag.External carbon fiber tripod.Lens hood, spare battery, UV filter, common cleaner, special lens fluid for degreasing, a whole bag of gelatinous cotton, lens paper, air blower, brush, flash and long connection cable, shutter cable, dustproof and rainproof plastic bag ,camera bag.film.Ordinary rangefinder.SLR and 24/1.4, 85/1.2, 300/4, and so on.In order to pursue good shooting effects, I have been using fixed-focus lenses, even though I know it will increase the physical burden.Distortion and glare at the wide-angle end of the fixed-focus lens are not so serious.In addition, some areas on the plateau are very dusty, and the interior of the temple is often full of smoke and dust. The sealing performance of the zoom head is slightly poor, and the bellows effect makes it easy to suck those fibers and dust into the lens when shooting. It is also difficult to clean the lens with a blower on the dust filter.Accidentally scratch the film.In addition, the large aperture of the fixed focus head is also a necessity. Despite being as well prepared as possible, they ran into unexpected trouble along the way. The journey starts in Chengdu and goes deep along the Sichuan-Tibet line.The first stop is Laigu Village in Ranwu Lake and its upper reaches.The name of Laigu Village comes from the Laigu Glacier.Few people stay here on the Sichuan-Tibet line.In this wonderful little village one can see a lake divided in two by a terminal moraine ridge of the Lagu Glacier.The colors on both sides of the lake are completely different, which is very spectacular.When they arrived, they saw large patches of pink and light yellow wildflowers rushing towards their faces on the open land of the village. In front of them were two twin blue glacier lakes, and in the distance was the brilliant ice and snow of Laigu Glacier in summer, black and white. Moraine ridges in the glacier wind and run side by side.It seems to be a secret beauty somewhere in Scandinavia, Scandinavia. Proceed from the ancient village to Nyingchi, Gongbujiangda, Mozhugongka, and then Lhasa.The two stayed briefly in Lhasa, then headed north to Namtso.When crossing the Nagenla Mountain Pass at an altitude of 5,000 meters on the way, Jian Sheng was tossed by the plateau and was very painful.His chest always hurts.Finally arrived at the Tashi Peninsula of Namtso, the two of them looked at the Nyenqentanglha Mountain, and it felt very spectacular.Jian Sheng sketched there for several days, but the paint was frozen again and again, making it impossible to continue. When shooting in Namtso, due to drying, traces of static electricity appeared on the film.Holding regrets, she walked south after leaving Namtso, passed Shigatse, Tingri along the China-Nepal Highway, and then entered the Mount Everest Reserve.The lubricating oil used by Xinhe’s SLR lens between the aperture plates is not resistant to low temperature. We were waiting to shoot the sunrise in the area around Mount Everest base camp. Considering that putting the camera in the tent and taking it out when shooting, it would cause intermittent cold The hot temperature difference is not good for the camera, so she left the camera outside the tent, waiting for the opportunity to shoot.However, I didn't expect that when the aperture was fully open for metering, the machine was exposed to the cold for a long time, and the lubricating oil condensed, so the aperture could not shrink normally when shooting.A lot of overexposure made quite a few tough shots fail.I wanted to start again, but the low temperature caused the battery to be ineffective, and it ran out of power after a few shots.Very unlucky. Jian Sheng was also unable to sit there and sketch slowly because of the long-term cold temperature.The paints are all hard.I had no choice but to draw sketches, and then create slowly after returning home. These troubles did not stop her from moving forward.Walking out of the Mount Everest Reserve, they returned to the hinterland of the northern Tibetan Plateau.Met a pilgrim on the way.The old man had a huge black-purple tumor on his forehead, which was the mark left by kowtowing on the pilgrimage road.He stopped by the side of the road, stood next to a mani pile, took out some Tsacha from his rucksack, and respectfully placed it on the stones of the mani pile.He kept repeating something in his mouth.Jian Sheng approached curiously, and saw that his Tsa Tsa was very rough, with different shapes, not regular, but all very simple and beautiful.Jian Sheng wanted to take it away, but the Tibetans advised him not to take the tsatsa back home, because it had the prayers of the tribute attached to it, and it would be bad luck to take it home.Jian Sheng had no choice but to give up. stay in a hotel 3 Stop at a simple hotel by the road.The two of them started heading north.I rented a horse and went alone to the Qinglunzhuo Grassland.It was there that Jian Sheng walked into Kasang's grassland. Now when he was on the road again, he already had Kassan as his traveling companion by his side.The road to the Qinglunzhuo Grassland is an ancient road for food exchange in the village. The road conditions are complicated, and Kasang is their guide.On the flat plateau of northern Tibet, the land is as desolate as the surface of the moon.White clouds float in the sky overhead, traveling leisurely across the firmament.There are only two shallow white ruts on the ground, floating into the distance like plain onyx at a funeral.After walking for a long time, I couldn't find the so-called road.They walked forward along the ruts, and Jian Sheng took out the compass to identify the direction from time to time, and stopped for a short rest to relieve the dry mouth and tongue caused by hard panting.More often, Xin He would take out the photographic equipment, patiently adjust the angle, and shoot her works.In the world in the lens, except for the vast and empty land that looks like a wolf's hair, which is salt and pepper, there is only the sky that is more vast and empty than this land.Only the blurred outline of a black mountain range in the distance breaks a clear and mighty line of sight in the boring field of vision. An extremely silent walk replaces everything.Jigme always led them to move forward patiently and steadily.阵阵烈风拂过它蓬松的黑色长毛，那飘扬在风中的姿态像极了平原田野里的滚滚麦浪。 在他们徒步旅行的第一天即将结束的傍晚，高原上的落日以亘古不变的苍凉壮丽迎接了夜幕的低垂。天空之上幻化的云层显示出变化不定的瑰丽色泽。最后的余晖从厚厚堆积的蓝紫色云层缝隙之间斜着射下一柱柱金色的光芒。无名的潺潺河流蜿蜒迂回，在那光芒的照射之下静若华美绸缎。简生总是被这景象震慑得哑口无言。他拿那只旁轴机拍快照。从狭小的取景框中看到镜头外面的天地，一瞬间有沮丧之心。这天地之广袤，并非一只镜头所能囊括。他越发觉得，与其将它留在胶片上，不如将它留在心里。 辛和在一旁取出碳纤三脚架。由于风大，她又把摄影包挂在下面用于稳定。仍未等到器材准备好，那瞬间的美景已经黯淡了下来。取而代之的是更为肃杀苍凉的夜的前奏。她微微叹息。这天地仿佛一位拥有着绝色容颜的傲慢小姐。不屑一顾地睥睨着这些拜倒在她裙下的疲惫的尘世灵魂。面对大地，她竟觉得自己极其卑微。 无边无际的高原草场 4 夜晚，他们依然停留在无边无际的高原草场。迫人的黑夜悄无声息地降临。一镰银饰一般的弦月缀在赤玄色的夜幕之上，远处依稀可见格拉丹冬的雪。紧紧贴着星光。像是少年时代读到的《吉檀迦俐》的诗句：旅途尽头，星辰降生。 简生支好帐篷。他在帐篷前的空地上点好一堆篝火，取出背包里的牛肉罐头和面包。在这阒静无声的旷野深处，他们安然地偎依着食物以及火堆带来的安抚感，姿态原始地感受着自己的生命的渺茫与不可确定。这混沌的天地之间除了黑暗一无所有。依旧是遥远的星辰依稀闪烁。简生与卡桑并没有任何亲热交流。因为言语不通，他们像是偶然相遇的陌生旅人，各自照顾着各自的旅途，相互善待，并且沉默寡言。 简生将食物分好，递给卡桑。他凝视着这个单薄弱小的孩子埋头啃食，完全是一只刚出生不久的饥饿小兽的样子。简生心中隐隐地不忍。他伸出手轻柔地抚摸卡桑的头，瞬间卡桑就敏感地停下来，目光澄澈地望着他，没有什么言语。瞳仁却在火光的映衬下熠熠闪光。某种程度上，她的目光就像是晋美，也如其他一切高原生灵一样，是一汪无名的雪山湖泊。安静，自省，有着暗含的凛冽血性。与生俱来。 在简生抚摸卡桑的头的时候，他想起了淮。简生此刻仿佛能够明白，当年善良的淮之所以这样陪伴他的成长，是基于一种怎样深刻的怜悯与不忍。 晋美警醒地一直站立着，目光四顾逡巡。身体与夜色融为一体，只见红色的瞳孔炯炯有神，如同神秘的火光。 他们收集到的用于燃烧的牛粪不够，篝火将冷罐头烤热了之后便渐渐熄灭了。他们默不作声地吃完食物，之后卡桑将自己那一份的一大半喂给晋美。简生面露愧色，非常抱歉地想起自己竟然忘记给晋美喂食。辛和立刻给晋美放了两根香肠在嘴边。可是晋美没有动她的香肠。只是吃完卡桑给它的牛肉。简生不解。直到卡桑微笑着把香肠喂给它，它才张开嘴一口吞下。忠诚聪明的生灵。与城市里面摇尾乞食或者扭着身体拼命取悦主人的宠物狗有着接近本质的层次区别。 除了狼嚎一般令人骨寒的风声猖狂地穿越，周围是空阔的寂静。没有生命的迹象。仿佛自己孤身处于世界末日之后的无人星球。简生为这样的鲜活体验感到兴奋。两个月前熙熙攘攘纸醉金迷的城市生活仿佛科幻的梦魇。他钻进帐篷，拿出笔记本记录今日的见闻。 在那一刻他想起城市的生活。声色犬马的人造森林，嘈杂拥挤的人群车流。危机四伏。动物本性中的弱肉强食在那里却要表现得黑暗猥琐得多。守着秒针滴滴答答的旋转并被不断警告着自己年轻本钱的贬值，实在是狼狈而疲倦的事情。 这一天与卡桑的相处，竟然不断地令简生自己获得回忆与反省。他心中为这些细小的精神所得感到无比满足。这便是超出旅途以及写生摄影之外的更有意义的东西。 一日的跋涉已经非常疲惫，而明天，是那么的未知。帐篷外面，卡桑坐在地上，遥望着无垠的黑暗大地，有着广袤而苍茫的森然之感。像是世界尽头。她隐隐约约地想念起爷爷犹如大地一般沧桑的面孔上面，布满山川一样纵横交错的皱纹。 晋美一声不响地趴在她的脚边，黑色的长毛散在风中犹如经幡一样滚滚抖动。卡桑默默地坐了一会儿，然后站起来，确认已经拴好了马匹，就拍拍晋美的头，像往常一样让它趴在帐篷外面守夜。 那个漫长的夜晚他们早早睡下了。高原的寒夜，只有呼啸的风声陪伴入眠。简生扭过头，看见黑暗中卡桑夹在他与辛和之间，披着一件黑色的羊皮袄子，沉沉入梦。有着天真甜美的睡容。女孩沉睡的姿势孤单寂寞。是因为内心与生俱来的旷阔而姿态安宁，信念坚强。 因为他们的生命，是一朵自生自灭的莲花。 简生试着大口的呼吸几下，填充一下似乎总是处在干瘪状态下的肺。努力暗示自己快些入睡，无论如何一定要好好享有此刻的休息。因为明天还有很远的路要赶。