Chapter 9 Big Chill-1

Great Cold (1) The weather gradually turned to severe cold. The Queen Mother advised me not to stay in the Jinkui Hall any longer, but I just laughed it off. She can't be alone now. Besides, our future depends on the present.Whether it can be saved, I feel uneasy.No matter what happens, I can't stand it anyway.Now that I have an excuse, I must desperately stay by her side. I was afraid that she would be exposed to cold and heat, and she refused to let someone wait on her bedside, so I had to do it. Every night, I forced myself to wake up several times, reaching out to touch whether her quilt was tightly covered, for fear that a trace of cold air would come in and hurt her.

Sometimes she moved slightly, as if she was about to wake her up, so I had to freeze in the air for a long time, and when she slept soundly, I retracted lightly. Later it became a habit. I am not an emperor, I am the most ordinary person who loves his wife. With joy in our hearts, we wait for our children to come into this world. Once I went to touch her quilt and heard her sigh faintly. I was startled, thinking I woke her up, but she didn't move again. I think she encountered something sad in her sleep. At first, I occasionally lay on her lower abdomen to listen to the movement through the quilt, but later I was almost addicted.

She would push my head away, frown and say, "In less than three months, where can I hear anything?" In fact, I don't want to listen to the child, I just want to find an excuse to rely on her side for a while.It was inconvenient to tell the reason, so I had to sit beside her and asked her: "Do you think it will be the prince or the princess?" She doesn't like guessing: "How do I know." "Guess, do you like a son or a daughter?" I asked as I hugged her shoulder enthusiastically like a child. She thought for a long time, and said, "It's probably impossible for my son..." She had a strange expression on her face.

I asked, "Why is it impossible?" She didn't answer, but asked me instead: "What about you? Do you like your son?" "Of course my son will be fine, but he will go to the East Palace from the age of twelve, how lonely you are here alone." Besides, I will definitely not be able to grab him, that is another man who occupies your arms every day, what should I do? ?When I thought of this, I laughed at my wild thoughts, "But if you don't have a son, and you don't have the power behind like others, you may be bullied in the palace in the future. If you give birth to the eldest son, I can make him your son." Prince, it will be different when you are the empress dowager."

She sighed deeply, then stopped talking. "Is it okay to have a pair of dragon and phoenix twins?" I asked softly in her ear. "I can't help it," she said, closing her eyes. I buried her in my chest, hugged her tightly, and said, "It's okay, we will have decades to grow up slowly." After finishing speaking, I laughed first. She leaned on my shoulder for a while, and then said: "I won't make any serious movements when I sleep at night, and the quilt is so big, don't wake up in the middle of the night to look at it again. Be like a child."

I didn't know she had noticed it, she felt a little ashamed, and said after a long time: "The imperial doctor said that you can't bear the cold now, but the weather is so cold, I'm afraid our child...something will happen." She silently put her hands on her lower abdomen and closed her eyes. I whispered in her ear: "Ai Min, I was the one who failed you in the past. Cong Zhan just passed away, but I did such wrong things to you. It's all my fault." Her body froze slightly in my arms, but she didn't say anything. "You probably don't know that when I saw you for the first time at the age of thirteen, I have fallen in love with you, and I have always liked you until now. I am afraid that you will go home, and that you will leave this world, so I have to stay Waiting for you on the Butiantai, but I never know if you will come... I am afraid that I have been waiting for a lifetime, but you will never show up again. I just want you to stay by my side..."

After speaking, the voice gradually became blurred, and he couldn't hear what he was saying, so he hugged her tightly and buried his face deeply in her hair. It seemed like a long time before I heard her sigh softly. The aroma of white orchids flooded all my mind. In this daze, I vaguely heard her say to me slowly, in a very low voice: "I am... feel very..." At this time, there was a sudden sound of breaking branches outside. She was startled by the sudden sound, her face turned pale, and she broke off abruptly in the middle of her sentence.Since she escaped and came back, she seems to have fallen into this habit.

I quickly stood up and went to the window, looked outside, and said, "It's okay, there's a bird jumping on a dead branch." Only then did she feel relieved, let out a sigh of relief, and asked, "What kind of bird is it?" I didn't know him, so I looked at it and said, "It must be a magpie." She nodded and closed her eyes.I raised my hand to drive the birds away, and looked outside, the Jinkui Palace is only suitable for living in spring, now it is winter, there are no flowers and plants, and it is bleak. Looking back at her again, she finally said nothing.It's as if he didn't want to talk to me at all just now.

The day before the great cold, the queen mother ordered some early plums to be sent. She liked it very much, held it in her arms and looked at it for a long time, those pure white brilliant flowers reflected her face, and her pale complexion unexpectedly showed some beauty. When I came back from Zichen Palace, she was pruning flower branches.I sat by the side and watched for a while, seeing that her eyelashes trembled slightly, like the tip of a butterfly's wing, covering her misty eyes, and the flowers in her hands seemed to glow under her gaze.I was fascinated by it. She raised her hand to cut off the best ones. I felt that the flowers were extremely beautiful in her eyes, and I felt a little sorry. I said, "These two bloom the best, so let's keep them."

She looked up at me and said softly, "But if you keep it, it will spoil the whole tone, it looks messy." She immediately peeled it off. The maid brought the medicine up, she put down the flowers, took the medicine and drank it slowly with a frown. She was unwilling to drink such a nasty medicine at first, but because of the begging of the palace servants, she also drank it now.It's just that the body still hasn't improved. Thinking of my father's six children, I am the only one left, and I feel a little apprehensive. May God bless our children. I felt at a loss for this sudden thought, but I didn't know how to tell her, so I had to pick up the cut plum blossoms on the table and look at them over and over again.

After she drank the medicine and drank the tea, she saw that I kept looking at the plum blossoms, so she said, "It's just two flowers, why do you take pity on them so much?" She took them from my hand and stuck them in her hair. When she lowered her head again, the flower was trembling on her hair. I stared at the flower for a long time before regretting it. Why didn't I dare to put it on her just now? What kind of relationship should I have with her now? I don't have the courage to be intimate with her, and she is unwilling to show me the words and deeds she should have when she likes her. Like, she likes me, it is my extravagant wish. She put the plum blossoms on the table, and the pot of red scapes grew by the window.She reached out and stroked the leaves of the orchid. That is Zhao Congzhan's favorite orchid. I also had nothing to say, and turned my head to the outside of the hall. But she asked me: "Do you think it's cold?" Her voice was quiet. I look back at her. She stood in front of the window of the window with nine flowers and agarwood and stared at me quietly, the thin sunlight behind her shone in from the window, the halo was hazy. I don't know if it's really an illusion in front of my eyes, her body color is faint and dim, but those eyes deeply immerse me in it. He was so nervous that he couldn't speak. Seeing me like this, she bit her lip slowly, and after a long time, she slightly raised the corners of her lips towards me. She is smiling at me. Her eyes were watery, but she was really smiling at me. I heard her say softly: "I heard that there are gardeners in the palace, why don't you move this orchid to the greenhouse over there, and staying with me is not the way to survive the winter." It turned out that she wanted to send the orchid to a better place. Send this orchid, which you don't want to abandon no matter what, away from your side. I didn't dare to look at her anymore, I lowered my head and looked at the ground. Tears filled my eyes. Besides, how can I rejoice. Tomorrow will be the day when I can make her a noble concubine. Maybe she didn't accept me, she just accepted reality.But this is also my luck. No matter what the reason, as long as she is by my side, rest assured, everything will be fine. Now that this is the case, I advise her to meet the queen mother. She hesitated, nodded in agreement.She also knew that in this palace, they would meet sooner or later. When we arrived at the Hall of Baoci, the servant told me to go in, and I specially took her in with me. She never left my hands. Even though I don't know if she likes it or not, I think she has accepted fate now. She admitted that if she wanted to be by my side in this life, she had to get Zhao Congzhan out of her life. From now on, it should be just me in her life. The queen mother stood up slightly in the inner hall to welcome me. I hurriedly let go of her hand, went forward and pressed the queen mother gently on the couch, and said, "It's fine for the queen mother to sit. I'll bring her here to meet the queen mother first." Bo Fang has been sent to report, and the Queen Mother has already agreed, so naturally he already knew about it.She looked at Ai Min and said with a smile, "You need to take care of your body better. I don't know how much this child can do in the future." She was hinting at Ai Min. Ai Min knew it too, so she stood there and bowed to her.The queen mother hurriedly asked someone to help her, and said: "If you are inconvenient, there is no need for red tape." I seemed to see someone standing behind the curtain, so I asked, "So the Queen Mother already has guests here?" "It's my niece. She came to talk to me today. She has chosen another good family and is going to get married soon. I heard that the emperor is coming, so she hides inside." The mother's niece, Zhao Congzhan's wife. I pretended not to care, and wanted to peek at her out of the corner of my eye, but she was sitting three feet behind me according to Li, and I couldn't see her at all. The queen mother smiled and said: "Speaking of which, her previous marriage was still appointed by the emperor, otherwise I really would not have thought of Cong Zhan." I didn't expect my mother to mention this matter, and I was terrified, why did I bring up such a matter for no reason when we were about to settle down? Does the queen mother not know what happened between Zhao Congzhan and her, or has she heard about it?Why did she say such things today? "It's just a pity that Cong Zhan has committed suicide at a young age..." I blurted out: "Mother!" The queen mother was interrupted by me and gave me a surprised look. I completely forgot the etiquette at this time, and looked back at her suddenly. She sat behind me and looked at me with a cold expression, as if she didn't hear what I just said. Not a word. The cold mist in my heart surged up again in her peaceful expression. But she turned her head outside and said in a low voice: "It seems to be snowing, shall we go back early?" She walked behind me without any sound, and in a trance, I felt that what was following behind me was not her, but a piece of light dust, some smoke without touch, a ghost without breathing. I only heard the footsteps of the palace servants and servants, not hers. The forehead was cold, and the coldness began to penetrate from the top of the head to the toes.The whole body is cold. Finally, I couldn't bear the fear, turned around, and looked for her. She was right behind me, with a cold expression on her face. I wanted to open my mouth to speak to her, but in a daze, my voice disappeared into the air. The two of them were in the corridor, relatively silent. The bamboo shadows around were moving in the wind, only to hear a bleak sound, condensed and piled up. Finally, she asked, "So Cong Zhan's marriage was appointed by you?" I hesitated for a long time, since I couldn't hide it, I had no choice but to nod. She whispered softly: "Didn't I tell you that he and I are going to get married?" "But I like you." I do everything, and the only thing I can rely on is this excuse. She was silent for a long time, but in the end she didn't feel any excitement, and asked in a low voice: "So... what did you say to Cong Zhan in Fanlou that day?" What did I say to Cong Zhan? Apart from ordering him not to be with her, I hardly remember what I said to Zhao Congzhan, I only remember what he said to me—— I'm afraid it may not all go your way. Those bright reds slowly crawled towards us, and Zhao Congzhan lay three feet away from us, as peaceful as sleeping among spring flowers. Seeing that I didn't speak, she sneered slightly and said in a low voice, "Forget it, everything is already like this anyway. You like me, and you happen to be the emperor, so there's nothing you can't do." She stepped past me lightly and went to the front. I was choked by her words and stood there almost stiff. That's all. Tomorrow will be very cold, and it will be the day when I will make her my concubine. When we went back, everyone in Jinkui Hall was adorning her with festoons to congratulate her. She bestowed golden flowers and anemone seeds on everyone according to the custom in the palace. All is calm. I asked someone to move the red scape to the greenhouse, but she didn't respond. Just seeing the scissors on the table that have just pruned flower branches, I feel uneasy in my heart, and I always have to peek there when I sit next to her.After hesitating for a long time, he quietly called someone to take the scissors away and hide them. However, nothing seemed to happen. I followed her all the time, being careful everywhere, and it was only one night. Tomorrow is the day to register her. Stay overnight in Jinkui Hall that night. In the middle of the night, I suddenly found myself standing on the edge of that cliff, hesitating, looking at the clouds and mists below are gray and black. I looked at the dark void and felt chills in my heart, turned and ran away, but it turned out that there was also a cliff behind me, and I didn't have time to stop, so I fell from a high place like this. The body loses weight and falls frighteningly rapidly, but there seems to be no end below. I was so horrified that I sat up in shock. Since the Mid-Autumn Festival this year, I haven't had a nightmare for a long time, but I didn't expect it to happen again today. I reached out to touch the side, but there was no one.I hurriedly turned my head to look inside the hall, and found her standing by the window, looking at the pool outside.The dim light outside made her face silvery white, as if she had no warmth or popularity. I climbed up carefully, went behind her and hugged her shoulders, and asked her in a low voice: "What's wrong? Can't you sleep?" She looked back at me, then without a word, went back to bed and lay down with her back to me. I looked at her back and got chills. Tomorrow is the day of Concubine Li, but her appearance makes me extremely uneasy. As if, the worst was about to happen. In the dark, I sat next to her and watched the moonlight outside being reflected by the waves, fluctuating faintly on the temple beams.And she was breathing calmly, as if she had fallen asleep. I lowered my voice, and said to her in the dark like a dream: "Anyway, we have a child now. I beg you, for the sake of the child, don't leave me... "As long as you settle down, I will give you my whole heart, and I will never do anything you don't like in my life. Never again." There was silence. The more leaking voice was passed through the palace gates to our ears, so low that we could hardly hear it. It seems that we are the only ones left in this world, floating and sinking in the dark. "Ai Min, our family - you, me, and the child, will definitely live the happiest life in the world." In the darkness, I seem to see her tightly closed eyes, the glimmer of tears flashing under her eyelashes. But it was only a flash. Our words were never heard again. Until the palace servant reminded us outside that she should get up and get ready to do her makeup and freshen up. It's colder today than yesterday.The Jinshui River leads to the Chenyou Pool at the back of the hall, and there is not much flowing water, so the water in the full pool has turned into solid ice, without any trace of water. On the sand by the pool, icicles that had been precipitated by the freezing air stood upright. When I stepped on it a little, I heard a crisp cracking sound. It is close to the main hall, and the heating under the foundation of the hall should be able to reach some, but I didn't expect it to be like this. I reluctantly went back to bed and said to her: "It's really cold today, but there's nothing you can do. You should wear more clothes." She nodded slightly, then suddenly raised her head and said to me, "I'm going to marry you today." She looked fine.Maybe after thinking about it in the middle of the night, she has already admitted her future. Admittedly, I am the one who can give her happiness. Because of her gentle words, my chest slowly felt a little cloudy.He lowered his head to kiss her hair, licking it lightly with his lips.Her tiny breath gently dyed my neck, dense and warm. Today is a good day for us. Although it is freezing outside now, there is a heating channel under the foundation of the temple, and a small fire is lit, so the inside is as warm as spring. She was in my arms, with us and our baby. like a dream. Wait a few more hours, and I will have such a wonderful time in my life. In this life, I really don't know what else I can ask for, my life is about to be perfect. The hour is approaching, and I have to leave too. She first put on the inner plain gauze middle single, and then asked the maid to come in and help her put on the life clothes. The lady-in-waiting put all her hair up, and then pasted nine twisted silk five-network golden flowers, nine small golden flowers dotted with beads, two temples, and nine phoenix and four phoenix crowns on the outside. I have never seen her dressed up like this before. I stood by and looked at her for a long time, looking at her Qingdai eyebrows, her cherry lips, and her autumn eyes.Her beauty is the kind of beauty that does not disagree with me. Dressed up like this today, the brilliance is gorgeous. It's just that the eyebrows and eyes are cold and indifferent, without the joy of others.When he looked at me, his pupils flickered, carelessly.There is no heat in the flowing luster of the stars. I feel sad, but it doesn't matter. The life service is made of blue, with Qingluo embroidery in the shape of a waving di, with a collar and a lace. When the clothes were all put on, the maid carefully tied her a white jade pendant, two large ribbons, three small ribbons, and three jade rings in the middle, and put on a green lapel with a golden pattern of a bird. She has a slender figure and a lot of clothes, so it can't be seen that she is pregnant. It's just that it's a pity that she doesn't look as good in blue as the light-colored clothes she used to wear. I couldn't go to Tianhe Hall with her, so I had to leave Jinkui Hall first and told her to come slowly. When I went outside the hall, I saw the sparse snow slowly drifting down from the gray sky. Why did it start to snow all of a sudden. I frowned, but I was helpless, as long as it wasn't too big, it was fine. It's just that it's really cold today, the cold air is forced into the body, it's too warm inside, once outside, the whole body stiffens in an instant, as if hitting the whole body hard will shatter like ice cubes.I don't know if those clothes of hers will be too cold. After returning to Changning Palace and having breakfast, she immediately got up and drove out of the inner palace city to Tianhe Palace to wait for her. The queen, all the concubines and concubines have arrived, and the jade slips and gold treasures have been presented on the case.There was only one moment left in the hour, but she hadn't arrived yet. I asked Bo Fang to urge her, and Bo Fang came back after a while and said, "It is said that I have already left the Jinkui Palace and the inner city, but I don't know why I didn't come here?" I looked at the impatient expressions of the queen and all the concubines, frowned and asked, "What's going on? Could it be that people get lost in the palace?" Bofang hurried down and asked people to look for it. The waiting concubines had already started whispering. Yan Wenying rushed in and looked at the people in the hall, but he didn't dare to report.I panicked for no reason, stood up and went out in front of so many people.When I went outside the hall with him, I asked, "Why haven't you arrived yet?" "When passing by Ji Temple, he must order us to stop and go in by himself." The Temple of Ji, formerly the Hall of Yiyuan.The place where Zhao Congzhan works. The snow all over the sky is still there in fine pieces, little by little, just like the fallen flowers of the locust tree in Ai Min’s courtyard a long time ago in my memory. When I first showed my love to her, she refused almost nonchalantly. Today's snow reminds me of the Sophora japonica of that day. There is no Sophora japonica in the palace, so I have never seen such a flower again. The tiny stamens are like dust, and I have never seen them again since then. Pass.Gone forever, like the bright spring sun that day. When I wake up in the morning, the happiness that I still have in my hand, is it also like those dusty flowers, only to be trampled into the ground? I was terrified. In the fine snow, the cold kept invading my body. The Ji Temple is empty today with no one on duty. Hearing her tiny footsteps in the hall was eerie. I followed the sound of footsteps, she was wearing a green life uniform, walked to the right side of the hall, pushed the door hard, the door was not latched, and slowly opened. She lifted her heavy skirt and walked in. I followed in.She looked back at me, but she was not surprised. She nodded to me, and then looked up at a painting on the wall. It is a sketch of flowers and birds, orchids. She said lightly: "Look, the flowers of red scapes look like this. He likes red scapes the most." I glanced at the painting hastily, and the orchids on the painting were blooming in a rouge color. She turned to me and said, "His paintings are really good." I nodded silently. "I don't know what it would be like if he was here now." I urged in a low voice, "Let's go." He is gone now, in the future, you should feel at ease to be my side, pillow, and sweetheart. Outside Jisheng Hall is Xianrui Pond. The pool was covered with ice, and the residual lotus hadn't been taken away, but the dead stems stood upright in the ice. Her eyes looked at the pool, but it was as if she was staring at nothingness.The eyes are as quiet as the sky at this time, and as blurred as the sky at this time. The wind came from all directions, rolled up the ribbons of her clothes, and snaked like snakes. I suddenly had a very ominous illusion.She was standing in the snow all in blue, the sky was overcast, but there was a half ray of sunlight coming out from the clouds, weaving obliquely behind her, like a mayfly that was not stained with dust and died before being eroded by the air, With transparent and fragile thin wings. All around us are snowflakes that have begun to dissipate before they hit the ground. The cold air had nowhere to go, and it was forced into my body fiercely. She said softly: "I remember that the water here used to be only up to my knees, but now it seems to be much deeper." "It's only up to the waist." Without daring to breathe, I walked slowly to her side, and then quickly reached out to hold her. The moment my hand was about to touch her, she retreated calmly. One step, jumped into Xianrui Pond. In the coldest winter, the sound of breaking ice is shrill, subtle and sharp. I stood on the shore, motionless.The ice water seemed to penetrate my body, chilling my bones. She supported the Linglong Stone in the pool and stood up, and in the broken ice and water up to her waist, she showed a strange cold smile on her face that was frozen blue and purple.Bleak, fierce. She was frozen beyond human shape, and the blood on her lower body slowly followed the ripples layer by layer towards the entire ice crack, and the light red blood took root in the silvery cold air.She smiled at me. Just like when Zhao Congzhan died, the expression of stability on his face bloomed silently. Like the morning glow made of blood, the mayfly that lives and dies at night.To me, with difficulty and with a cruel smile, he said word by word: "Your child... who will give birth to you?" She is crazy. I jumped into the water to drag her back.I don't know what the body feels like, it's too cold, and I don't feel any more when it's pierced into the bone. She knocked my outstretched hand away fiercely, and roared ferociously: "I will never forgive you! You pretend nothing happened now, but I will never forget it, I will never forget it... until now I die, you murderer who killed Cong Zhan!" The ice around me was not cold, but boiling hot. Those resentments rushed out of my body, my eyes went dark, and the world lost its shape. The whole future I was begging for slowly spread to my feet in the cold, and in the end, it faded to colorless. All turned into a dream.I imagined happiness thousands of times, and the little happiness that I was going to take care of for ten years, decades, and my whole life, she was put to death in one fell swoop. But all I ask is that I can worry about the temperature and temperature for her every night, and I want to spend my whole life trying to please her so that she can concentrate on looking at me, that's all I ask for.It turned out that I was a nightmare, and it was all fantasy. No matter how humble I was begging for mercy, no matter how hard I tried, I even offered my self-esteem to her, and all I got in return was blood stains in the icy water.The person I love desperately tramples my humble and dedicated heart into dung. "Don't you... like Zhao Congzhan so much?" She clutched the stone behind her convulsively, her eyes were venomous. "I hate you so much." The servant behind me pulled me ashore while pulling her. I suddenly hated her so much that I yelled, "Don't touch her!" The servants were all stunned. I lost my mind and yelled at the darkness in front of me: "Let her die! Leave me when she dies, and die with Zhao Congzhan!" Let her live or die, turn around and leave. The whole body is soaked, but I can't care about it. Now, I can't control anything. I gave all my feelings, ignored all the colorful people around me, and waited stubbornly behind her. I only hoped that one day, when she turned around, she saw the desire in my eyes, understood everything, and smiled at me. For this moment of turning around. Now I'm desperate.I can't wait, I can't wait, I have to admit my failure.I have no choice, no strength to go all out in hysteria. Now she can kill her own child just to hate me. It turns out that my love is exchanged for such hate. I loved her for ten years, and now, I admit defeat. In front of the Temple of Heaven and Harmony, he stood weakly. I don't know how to say it. What can I say to the people in this temple? How can I tell them that the concubine I want to make today will take revenge on me by killing our children because she hates me.How can I say it. I can't go in and face everyone. My mind was in a mess and I couldn't think of anything.His body was cold and his eyes were dark. Having no more strength, he fell down on the stone steps. Suddenly I remembered the story she told me on the other side of Bisha many years ago. When the water flooded Jinshan, the white snake gave birth to her own child.She lifted him out of the water and begged the monk who was going to kill her, "Save my child." Now, she killed her own child. Just because it contains half of my flesh and blood.