Chapter 8 chapter eight

The train has arrived.It's London. I got out of the car and walked to Pickdeale. After walking for a long time, I was hungry again.Finally made it to Soho. Standing in the middle of the road, it is early morning, a place of waste paper, and the sky is getting bright.I kept walking and walking around.A sailor walked past me, hesitated for a moment, then turned to me and asked, "How much?" I was surprised, then laughed. "Fifty pounds," I said. "Ten pounds," he said. "Ten pounds?" I propped myself up, "Ten pounds go to your mother." He took a step back, laughed, but walked away without being violent.

What is the fundamental difference?The price is different. That night Xu Cunzi put his hands on me, and even if he relaxed, his body still had goose bumps.I am not this piece of material, Xu Cunzi lost his eyes, poor old man, he doesn't know that I am no different from Liu Ying. A taxi came and I stopped it. "To Cambridge." "Miss. You're kidding." He drove the car away. "Hello." I called him. But the driver has already driven the car away. I simply sat on the side of the road.Wanting to smoke but not having a cigarette, wanting to sleep but unable to lie down on the side of the road, I had no choice but to rest my head on my hand, not saying anything, not thinking about anything, yawning lazily, just missing the lice.

I laughed miserably. A policeman saw me from afar and stood there curiously watching me. How can furs and jewelry increase my happiness? The ruby ​​on my neck is as bright as blood, but it can't illuminate my complexion. The policeman came to me and said, "Miss, what's the matter with you?" "Nothing." I said. "Miss, it's best not to wander on the road at this time." "Wandering around? I'm not wandering, I'm trying to go home," I said. "Home? Where is home?" "3 Oxford Road, Cambridge," I said. "Come with me, miss, you'll never make it to Oxford Road." He refused to let me go. "Come and sit at the police station."

"Okay," I said, "I'll go with you." "Your home phone number, miss." I will report it. "My surname is Jiang." I added my name. "We'll find out soon if you're lying." He winked at me. "Please." I said. The phone was dialed, and it was obviously Mrs. Simpson who came to answer the phone. After asking the beginning and the end, she yelled over there. I covered my face with my hands. I was very tired and wanted to drink and take a bath. The policeman put down the phone and said, "Miss, your family said they will pick you up right away." There was surprise in his voice, "I told you to sit still."

I said, "I have other things to do. It's a long time to get here from Cambridge. I'm not used to sitting here waiting. You can't detain me." "But your family—" "My family and I will have an explanation." I stood up. He had no choice but to watch me go out. I walked all the way to the train station, touched the money in my pocket to buy a ticket, and got on the train.When I saw the mirror in the toilet of the train, I was startled.Ten pounds, I'm only worth ten pounds, not even a penny more: half-faded makeup, pale face, fluffy hair... I can't bear to look any longer, tears are streaming down, no one can hurt me heart, but I can.In three short years of one thousand days, I have grown so old that I am finished.

I covered my face with my hands and never put them down on the train. When I arrived at the station, I was so hungry that I ran into the canteen of the train and ate: dark beer, pork pie.Putting us all on an isolated island, there is no difference between a prince and a servant. After eating I hailed a taxi to go home. I had no money in my pocket to pay the fare, so I rang the doorbell loudly and said to the driver, "Wait a while." The maid came to answer the door, and I said, "Give him the fare." I walked into the house, hiccupping. The maid caught up, "Miss, Mrs. Simpson and the driver have rushed to London."

"I know." "I'm going to release water with you—" "You go and pay the fare first." "I'll come right back." I went to the room to take off my clothes, and a big mirror faced me.I look at myself.If she continues to give up on herself like this and eat indefinitely, she will soon turn into a fat woman with a greasy face and slow movements. I let out a long sigh. The maid ran up, "Miss—" "Please go to the doctor and say I want sleeping pills, and bring me a bottle." "you--" "I shower and rest," I said.

"Miss, I'll be right back, take care of yourself." The maid hesitated, not daring to leave me. "Come on, I'm not a three-year-old kid." She ran downstairs with a thud. I put a large tub of water to take a shower and wash my hair, poured out half a bottle of bath salts, soaked for a long time, and the maid came back soon. I asked, "Did you get the medicine?" "The nurse heard that you wanted it, so she dared not refuse it," she said triumphantly, "His clinic was opened with Mr. Xu's money." "Miss," the maid said, taking advantage of Simpson's absence, "this ruby ​​necklace of yours—" Her eyes flashed in confusion.

"It's fake." I said, "You go out. I want to sleep." "Yes." She packed my clothes for me along the way. I lifted the satin quilt, got into bed, and let out a long sigh. I also suffered from insomnia, and it was better to lie on the bed than on the street. I buried my head in the soft pillow. I am asleep. It was Simpson's loud noise that woke me up, and she rushed into the room like a soldier. "Oh God, thank God, I finally saw you, Miss Jiang, how could you make me so worried." She sits on the edge of my bed. "Mrs. Simpson." I hugged her.

"You haven't had another drink?" she said gently. "No." "Get up and have something to eat." She said, "Come." Wait for me with the nightgown. At the dinner table, I saw letters from the university. They asked me why I didn't go to school, but I threw the letters aside. "Mr. Xu will be back tomorrow," Simpson said. "Can he be released?" I asked, putting down the newspaper. "He said he was leaving the hospital? Who dares to stop him?" Simpson laughed. She and I have really become friends, and the only person I can trust seems to be the only one left.

I said, "Tomorrow is Easter, and here is the ring for you." I pushed the little box to her. She has long been used to receiving gifts, but she is always polite, "I have already received so many things from you, it is really—" very shy. "You've done so much for me." I said, "You should." She put the ring on her finger and stretched it out for a look, "It's so beautiful." The diamond shone in the sun. I took the teacup and walked to the long window, where the sun was warm. "The school calls and asks why you're missing class," Simpson said. "If you don't go to class, you will miss class. What is there to ask? Treat me like a primary school student." I turned my head and smiled. After a long time, Simpson said cautiously: "Miss Jiang, don't you think it's a pity?" "No." I said simply. At night I sat drinking and watched TV. The TV programs were so bad that I was afraid to buy a movie and watch it again. Buying a copy of "Gone with the Wind" would surely pass the time. We saw half the people ringing the doorbell. Simpson ordered, "It's so late at night, look who it is, don't let idlers in." The maid went to open the door, and answered after a long while: "It's a woman, looking for Mr. Xu." I asked, "Mr. Xun Xu, is he Chinese or British?" "It's European, blond, young." The maid replied, "but it's dirty." I look at Simpson. "Let me talk to her." She stood up and walked to the door. I couldn't help picking up the glass and following. Simpson opened the door, and there was a blond woman standing outside the door, with big gray-green eyes and a bad face, unable to speak. Simpson asked, "Who are you looking for?" "Mr. Xu Cunzi." "He's not here. He won't come until tomorrow, so you can come tomorrow." "May I come in and have a word with his family?" "Who are you to Mr. Xu?" "I'm his—an ex-friend." I get half of it. "His family is not here," Simpson said. "Where's his secretary? Where's the housekeeper?" The girl still refused to give up. "I am the butler." "Can I come in and sit for a while? I'd like a glass of water." "None of us knew you," Simpson said. I said, "Let her in." Simpson hesitated, and finally opened the door to let her in. I look at her and she looks at me.I know who she is, and she knows who I am. "Sit down, please," I said, "What can I do for you?" "I'm hungry and I have no money," she said. "Give me the money, and I'll go right away." "You have a meal first." I said, "I'll give you the money later." "Thank you," she whispered. The maid brought the food, and she devoured it, drinking the wine like water.When she is full, her complexion looks better.She is not very old, at most three or two years older than me. I asked, "Where did the money he gave you go?" "Bet." She replied. "Gambled so much?" I asked. "Half. It's easy to lose," she said. "Try it if you don't believe me." "And the other half?" "Cheated by a man," she said. "But Xu Cunzi has always been generous with women." I don't believe it. "I know," she smiled wryly, "I used to have a title deed on Bond Street in England." "You lost all?" "Yes." She said nonchalantly. "why?" "I'm very lonely and have nothing to do. My only job is to wait for him to come back." She said, "When I'm free, I start gambling." "Where are you from?" "Austria. My mother still has a bit of noble blood. Later, her family fell into poverty, but she still lived a good life." "What were you doing when you met Xu Cunzi?" I asked. "I am a student of the Fine Arts Department of the University of Paris." My face turned pale.She is my predecessor, and I am looking at the mirror of time. "Have you met his family?" I asked. "No." She shook her head, "Not a single one." "Then...you dropped out of school?" "Yes. I have so much money. At that time, I thought, what's the use of studying?" She didn't seem remorseful, her voice was calm, as if talking about other people's affairs, "Mr. Xu has been very kind to me." "Why did you leave him?" I said. "He left me. One day he said 'you go, I can't come to see you anymore, but if you are in trouble, you might as well come to me.' I knew he lived here from Sollins." "How much do you need?" I asked. "Fifty pounds?" she asked tentatively. I really wept for her.I went into the study, opened the drawer, took out a stack of banknotes, and stuffed them in her hand. "thanks, thanks." She couldn't help it. I said gently to him, "Go wash your hair and buy new clothes." "Yes, I'm going now," she said, "thank you." "If I'm still here, just come and find me." "thanks." I send her out.Her gray-green eyes shone with obsequiousness. She was a beautiful woman. Although she was haggard, she could still see her former grandeur. She had a small frame and a fleshy body. There were very few foreign girls. I close the door. Mrs. Simpson looked at me and I spread my hands. "It's depraved," she criticizes. I asked: "If I don't gamble or whore, and live my life obediently, do you think the two of us can live a lifetime?" Simpson said with a smile: "Me and you? You can't spend all this money in ten lifetimes, lest you worry, Mr. Xu doesn't know how many stocks have been written to you, and you don't know, and you are only allowed to charge interest, and you are not allowed to sell it. Get rid of it, you think how thoughtful he is for you." Yes, among so many women, he likes me the most, and I am the most favored among the "same type". When Xu Cunzi comes back, my job is to wait for Xu Cunzi to come back. He was in a wheelchair when he came back. I asked, "Why are you in a wheelchair?" There was fear in my voice. "Because I don't want to walk," he said. I breathed a sigh of relief. "Where's Jia Ming?" I asked. "He's gone." Xu Cunzi didn't turn his face away. "Going away?" I asked back, "Where did you go?" "He left Xu's house." "What?" I asked, "Leaving Xu's house, where will I go to develop?" Jiaming mentioned this to me, and I thought he had forgotten it long ago. Xu Cunzi raised his head, he was very confused and said, "Jiaming, he has entered the seminary, and he wants to be a priest." I was holding a vase in my hand, and I was shocked when I heard that, the vase fell to the ground and broke, I said, "What? Be a monk?" Xu Cunzi asked: "Why? I told him: 'Jiaming, Conghui is lost. It's not your fault. I have to find her back.' But he said: 'No, Mr. Xu, you will never I can't find her either, she found happiness, she won't come back.' I thought he was overly sad, once the young husband and wife were separated, there was some sadness in his heart, who knew that he was determined to go, but he refused to come back. " I'm at a loss, just go like this? "But I said Jiaming, if you let go like this, who will my career be entrusted to? Guess what he said?" "What?" I asked blankly. He said: "Mr. Xu, if you don't give up the treasure in the ground, I tell you the truth, it will be harder for you to enter the kingdom of heaven than for a camel to go through the eye of a needle." I fainted for a while, and quickly supported the back of the chair. Xu Cunzi murmured, "My family is falling apart, Xibao, I want you to go back to Cambridge, get rid of all your homework, and you will inherit my career." I took a step back, "But Mr. Xu, you have Congshu and Congqi, at least Congqi can come forward, she has a husband, she can definitely help you, and you have many talented people under your command, so you don't have to ask relatives to come out to host event." "You won't understand that only close relatives are reliable." I laughed, "But I'm also an outsider, Mr. Xu." "I understand." Xu Cunzi raised his head, "Your surname is not Xu, but I trust you." "Me?" I looked up, "You trust me?" "You are still my family." His voice dropped. "Don't worry, Mr. Xu, you are still in good health," I said, "Keep supporting. Is there nothing wrong with your family? Don't worry." He was silent for a while. "With you by my side, I am much more comforted." "There's nothing I can do," I said, "just make you angry." "You should be angry," he said, "that an old man can't understand tender love." I stared at him. Before he kept saying that he was an old man, I just thought he was joking. Now he said he was old, and I really felt that way. He coughed, "So far I don't know if I have ruined you." "Destroy me?" I said, "It's impossible. If I didn't meet you last summer, I wouldn't even be able to pay my tuition. Things couldn't have gotten worse." "But you haven't graduated yet." "Graduation? I have so much money, what do I need a diploma for?" I asked. "Money and a diploma are not the same thing. How many rich people cannot get a diploma." "Why do unnecessary things?" I smiled. He put his hand on mine. "I hope you can graduate." I don't want to take up this topic again. He said, "Cong Qi wants to see you, what do you think?" "Me? I don't care, why does she want to see me?" Why Cong Qi? "She wants to talk to you." He said, "Now that Cong Hui and Jia Ming have left, her hostility towards you has lessened, maybe so." I nod. "I won't mind." "Then I'll call her." Xu Cunzi was a little happy. I sat across from him and read the pictorial, turning it over and over again, not concentrating. Xu Cunzi said: "If you hadn't met me, you might be married now, the young couple is loving and affectionate, and maybe you are pregnant with a child." "Yes," I said, "maybe I have to buy vegetables and cook at home after get off work every day, the child is crying and screaming, the couple are jumping and arguing, maybe the husband is a white man, or he is relying on me to eat soft food, maybe sooner or later Divorced." Xu Cunzi smiled and said, "Xibao, at this moment, only you can make me smile." "I don't feel any regrets," I thought of the blond Austrian girl. "At least in the future I can tell people: I used to own a whole fortress. Why regret it, it was my own choice." He looks at me. I said mockingly, "I don't think so. It's so rare that you don't deserve me." "But you are not happy now." "Happiness? Do you think raising children, caring for cows and horses, and finally growing old together is happiness? Everyone's standards are different. When I am old, I will sit at home ironing money and counting jewelry. I don't regret it." "You really don't regret it?" Xu asked me, "Still stubborn?" "A person like me? No, I don't know how to regret. Even if I want to die tonight, I will wake up early tomorrow morning, Mr. Xu, my vitality is strong." My hand touches the ruby ​​necklace.How much does a ring face cost for such a thumb-sized ruby.How many women in the world can wear this necklace.There is nothing perfect in the world, of course I have to sacrifice a little bit. And most importantly, it was too late to regret. I let out a long sigh. Xu Cunzi stayed with me for a while until Congqi came. I had to be the hostess because there was no one in charge. I greeted her, settled her down, and didn't say much, the city of Congqi is very deep, I have to be on guard against her, and I can say a few words if I don't speak.She stayed for a week, as if she had come only to accompany her father and had no other purpose. One night I was reading a magazine in bed when Cong Qi knocked on the door and came in. I quickly asked her to sit down. "You're welcome," she said, "You're welcome." "You should." I said, "You sit." She sat down and said slowly, "Xibao, these days, I'm really thanks to you." She said such a sentence for no reason, and I couldn't help being stunned. She said, "Only you can make Mr. Xu smile." Even she called her father "Mr. Xu".From this we can see the joy of Xu Cunzi being a human being. I lowered my head, "This is my duty." "I didn't like you at first, but now I see clearly that only you can help Mr. Xu." She also lowered her head. I looked at her in horror, not understanding what she was trying to say. "Miss Xu—" I said. Her hand was on mine. "Listen to me first. You know what kind of person my brother is—" "Congshu is not doing well, Congshu is just spoiled, and there are many rich people like this." "He has spent many days in a mental hospital." "But that doesn't mean anything," I said. "Is he going to recuperate?" "Rehabilitation?" Cong Qi lowered his head again, "Why didn't others go to recuperate?" "Because other people's father is not Xu Cunzi." I said simply. "You're very straightforward, Xibao, maybe that's what Mr. Xu likes about you." I am sad, the only hope is that someone loves me well.Love, many, many, drowns me.Xu Cunzi can't satisfy me, it's always a business between us.No matter how much he likes me, that's all. "Jiaming became a monk in the monastery. He is called Brother Joseph now. I went to see him. You know the seminary in Hong Kong is in Cheung Chau." "Where is Lingtang? Is she in good health?" I changed the subject. "I don't think she can last long. She has high blood pressure and cries day and night. What else can she do? She is just Mr. Xu's reproductive machine." "I... I'm nothing." I said. "You can help me. It's only you now." She squeezed my hand. I still don't understand. "But what can I do for you?" I asked, "I will do my best, if possible." "Take care of my children for me." I raised my head, feeling ominous in my heart. "I had breast cancer, and this time it was surgery." "No." I jumped up, "It can't be like this." "It's true. The doctor has diagnosed everything. I can't tell my parents, but I can only tell you." "But the chances of breast cancer being cured are very high, you—" I couldn't think of a single comforting word, I just felt dry lips and tongue.Xu Cunzi must have harmed the director, but the retribution is on his children, and the heavens are too unfair. I stared blankly at Congqi, and felt that my hands were cold. "Mr. Fang knows?" I asked. "Ok." "Mr. Fang should accompany you." Cong Qi smiled, with infinite bitterness in his smile. "Should, what do you mean by should? I always wanted to have a son, thinking that I could win back his heart, but my belly is not up to par, and I will always be a daughter from birth to death." I was so stunned, I really couldn't see such an ideal model couple. Cong Qi said: "Who do you want me to talk to? I don't even have anyone to talk to, and my mother is not my biological mother, and my father is too busy to catch his breath." I thought about her situation, and it was true. I sighed, walked to the window and sat down. No one knows which of the two women in this room is more unfortunate than the other. "Thank you." "I'll accompany you to the hospital." I said, "I won't tell Mr. Xu." "Thank you." I suddenly asked: "Please tell me, what is the money for?" "What's the use of money?" She laughed dumbfounded. "Money is very useful to the poor. As for me, I would rather have health, divorce Fang Jiakai, and take my children away." "If you don't have money, how can you fly away?" I asked back. "I still have two hands." Cong Qi said. "The money earned with two hands is bitter, and you can't turn over forever. You have never been poor, you don't know," I said angrily, "I have thought about it, but I would rather Follow Mr. Xu, anyway, I am used to serving him, why bother to go out and serve a whole irrelevant person in society. In my life, I still live the best life now." Cong Qi stared at me blankly, she couldn't understand, and she would never understand until something happened to her. Xu Cunzi didn't suspect that when he accompanied Congqi to see a doctor, he thought we had an appointment to go shopping and drink tea. Every movement of Cong Qi is gentle, even taking off a coat is elegant.However, from her tone of voice, her husband didn't appreciate her, not only didn't he appreciate her, but now she was sick and her husband wasn't by her side. "The right breast needs to be completely removed," she said. "I'll accompany you." "No, come and see me tomorrow morning and tell father that I'm going to Paris." "Mr. Xu is a very shrewd person," I said. "But you never lied to him. Your confession often shocked him. He never thought you would keep him from such a trivial matter." Congqi is actually the smartest one. "I'll accompany you into the operating room." I held her hand. Her hands were cold, but not trembling, and her face was calm. "Are you afraid?" I asked. "Death?" she asked back. "yes." "I'm afraid." She replied, "No matter how unhappy life is, I still prefer to live. Even if my husband doesn't love me, I can still live with my children. Be lonely. I'm not a sixteen or seventeen-year-old girl. I bear it." Gotta come down." "You're not going to die," I said. She smiled at me, the saddest smile I've ever seen. The nurse gave her an intravenous anesthesia and she held my hand tightly. I said softly, "I'll see you tomorrow." She nodded and lost consciousness not long after. I put her hand on her chest and left the hospital. Xu Cunzi was meditating in front of the stove, and got up from the wheelchair. He asked: "What are you going to the hospital for? Didn't you send Cong Qi to the airport?" He checked again. "Going to see a doctor, I fell in love with a resident," I laughed. He glanced at me, "I know it's useless to ask." I squatted beside him, "Why do you stay in London all the time?" "I've only been here three weeks." "You left three hours ago." "I used to do business," he said. I could hear the undertones, and I was terrified. "And now? Do you mean to say that the business is over now?" "most." "It's impossible, impossible!" I said, "Xu Cunzi doesn't do business? What would the rest of the business think?" "I'm old, I need to take a good rest." He said, "I want to reflect on why, my children have left me, I give them everything, I love them too, just have less time, but time……" "Mr. Xu, I told you earlier that you treat all living people as a piece of furniture, a piece of property. We cannot breathe, we have no freedom, and we are not happy." "I do not understand." "Mr. Xu, you are the smartest and smartest person, how could you not understand." He said honestly, "But I'm not like the kind of rich father who forbids his children to leave the house all day long and forces them to study... I'm not, and I'm free when it comes to money." "I myself find it difficult to breathe." I smiled wryly, "Mr. Xu, you know how strong I am, but I still have to manage poorly and barely support myself. Think about others." "I still don't understand," he said, stubborn and painful. I sighed, he didn't understand his mortal wound. "Xibao, I want you to go back to Hong Kong with me. I want to meet them." "I go back to Hong Kong with you?" I stared blankly, "Where do you live?" "Buy a one-story house for you, where else to live? A hotel?" He asked back. I calmed down, but a little happy.Also, what do I have in England?Now I don't read books anymore.There is no sense of belonging in any city, it is better than Hong Kong, I like to listen to Cantonese. "Okay." I said, "I'll go back with you." "Thank you," he said. I raised my eyebrows, very surprised.He said thank you. "Actually," he went on, "actually if you were to go now, I'd let you go." He looked away. free?He set me free?can i goBut I don't want to go, there are times when I hate him, and there are times when I love him, but I don't want to go. I said, "I don't want to go, I have nowhere to go." He was suddenly touched, "Xibao—" he paused, "You'll grow old with me?" "That's not a bad life," I forced a smile, "It's a blessing to be with you for the rest of my life." "How do you know there is nowhere to go? If you don't go out and have a look when you are young, you will always regret it." I said firmly: "There is nothing to see outside! There are ghosts and monsters outside!" "Okay, Xibao. Okay." He took my hand. After Cong Qi had the operation, I went to see her. She whimpered—"My figure..." Her right breast was cut off.... She cried on my chest.I pressed her head tightly to my chest, I owe the Xu family, and the Xu family owes me, this is a debt from my previous life. Her cry was like a badly injured puppy, choking, urgent, and heart-breaking.I can't help her, not even her father's wealth. She loses her husband's favor and loses her health. There are things money can't buy. I was with her all day and we were silent. The next day I bought her yarn and knitting needles, she was not in the hospital bed, but in the physical therapy room.Crowds of men and women with severed arms and legs are struggling for the rest of their lives, some struggling to exercise, blood oozing from unhealed wounds under bandages. Cong Qi leaned against a corner to watch with a blue face and pale lips, and I grabbed her. When she saw me, she hugged me tightly as if she was seeing a close relative. "Let's go back to the room," I said. "I bought you some yarn and knit me a vest." Cong Qi said palely: "I don't want to learn from them...I don't want to..." "No one wants you to learn from them, no one," I comforted her, "we'll find a private doctor, and we'll take our time." "Half of my breast..." She broke down in tears. "Don't worry—" But I couldn't coax any more, the voice was terribly hollow, and I stopped. The nurse sedated her to sleep and I left her to go home. Three days later, Cong Qi died of suicide by taking poison. When Xu Cunzi and I returned to Hong Kong, we took Congqi's coffin with us.Simpson also travels.She is willing, she is a widow, she said she hopes to see Hong Kong's famous beaches and sunshine. Fang Jiakai and his three children met us at the airport.The children were all dressed in black mourning clothes, and their childish faces were unclear. The youngest was only a few months old and didn't even know how to walk. When Fang Jiakai came up to meet him, Xu Cunzi didn't lift his head or look at him out of the corner of his eyes. He stopped and hugged the child.The children called him "Father, Father". Then we boarded the car and left. Naturally, the house in Hong Kong has already been done for him.A small garden house.Unobstructed views of the Victoria Harbour.But who is interested in admiring it.Xu Cunzi locked herself in her room for three days and three nights, without sleep or food, and kept pacing with the door locked, only to see a light shining through the crack of the door. If Jiaming is here, I desperately think, if Jiaming is here, someone else will decide everything. Fang Jiakai's three girls came to our place and wanted to see Grandpa.I thought of Cong Qi saying to me: "...take care of my children." The members of their Xu family will always live in the rose garden and cannot be stimulated by anything. However, Cong Qi is still the calmest and most rational among them.Xu's family. I often hold Cong Qi's youngest daughter and tease her to talk. "You know what?" I'd say, "Life is an illusion and it's not worth it." The baby's chubby little hands grabbed my necklace and played hard. I put my face against her little face. I said: "A long time ago, I was as small as you, as innocent, as ignorant, now look at me, look at me." She stared at me, the whites of her eyes were blue, and she looked straight into my head. I sadly asked, "Why are we here? Why?" She said nothing. I feed her chocolate candies."It's not right to give sugar to babies," Simpson said. I asked blankly, "What is right? What is wrong?" Xu Cunzi still refused to come out of the study, and Simpson brought three meals a day into the study, and he ate very little. I also sometimes go for a drive with Cong Qi's daughter.They were well-bred, well-behaved children who wore the same little skirts and flattered me because I was the only one who took them out into the streets.They didn't move while watching a movie, and they always begged me in low voices when they went to the bathroom.Two maids followed them in and out.In the eyes of others, they are not the pride of heaven.But I pity them, whoever said that the rich are just rich poor is so true. Fang Jiakai came to talk to me. "Thank you, Miss Jiang." He was very ashamed, "Take care of the children for me." "You're welcome." I don't really hate him.I hate no one. He said slowly: "Actually... Actually Cong Qi doesn't understand, I love her, we've been married for such a long time, I'm always responsible for her..." I looked up at him. "...It's my fault, I feel bored. People can only live once, so I may not be able to start from scratch in the next life, and I don't believe that after death, the soul will emerge from the other side of the universe... I am bored, So there's a girlfriend out there..." Fang Jiakai must have someone to complain to, otherwise he will go crazy. "But Cong Qi doesn't forgive me, more than ten years of married life...Everything is a habit, making love is like brushing teeth...Miss Jiang, I am already a middle-aged man, I can only live once—" Fang Jiakai covered his eyes Face. I get it, I really get it.He's old, he's scared, he's looking for real life and lost faith.And the stress of life itself... I get it. "I understand." I said. "Really?" He raised his head, "She is a younger girl, very active, very lively. I don't love her, but with her, everything becomes more meaningful, time seems to turn back suddenly, Back in my college days, it was simple and clear, even if I wore a mask, it was a relatively clean face: just the two of us, no business, children, relatives, entertainment, just the two of us, so I am nostalgic for her. I will never Divorcing Congqi, it is impossible to find a better wife than Congqi, but Congqi doesn't understand, she must have all of me, my body, my soul, and my heart, she just refuses to be confused. I It's not sophistry, do you understand, Miss Jiang." I know. "I'm afraid of getting old. Like Mr. Xu, even if he earns the whole world, what's the benefit? I just want to... amuse myself. It's the same as reading and fishing, but no one forgives me. End her life for this," he murmured, "We only live once." I pressed my face against his little daughter's, "You know what? Life is just an illusion." "I will still love her. She loses any part of her body. I still love her. Why doesn't she understand?" Fang Jiakai said to himself in pain. I said, "Mr. Fang, women are very stupid animals." "I can see her face now with my eyes closed." "She won't, she won't forgive you," I said. "I don't blame her for not forgiving me." Fang Jiakai said, "I want to tell her that if I knew she was so fierce, I wouldn't argue with her." "It's useless to cry over the overturned milk. Mr. Fang, take good care of the child." "Thank you, Miss Jiang." I said, "At least you have something to complain about, because you've got a ready-made example of what people can sympathize with, and me, I have to laugh." "Miss Jiang." Fang Jiakai was very disturbed. "Go back." I handed his little daughter into his hands. he left.