Chapter 6 Chapter Six

I woke up at four or five o'clock, and Song Jiaming was sitting by my bed. He is also like Xu Cunzi, sitting there in the dark and seems to be sleeping. "Your forehead is sweaty," he said. "It's hot." I propped myself up, "Weather in the southern hemisphere." "You had a nightmare?" "A dream is a dream, what's the difference between a nightmare and a good dream?" I asked weakly. "Why don't you cry?" he asked. "What's the use of crying?" "You should have cried." "Should? Who said that?"

"People usually cry at times like this." "Then I can also tell people that a girl should have a warm family, okay?" I sighed. "Hamilton looks like a nice guy—" "Jiaming," I changed the subject, "Has any woman told you that you are very beautiful?" He smiles and nods. "A lot of women?" I smiled too. Jiaming didn't answer, it's really a noble character, many men will tell their friends how many women he has had before it's too late.In the same way, a low-class woman will go around and force others to know her face.

He took my hand and kissed it. "I like you more when you are asleep." Xu Cunzi said this. I asked, "Because I'm not that smart? Because I look more innocent when I close my eyes?" "You guessed everything?" He was surprised. "No, someone said that before you," I said. He sighed, "Xu Cunzi." "Yes," I said, "you too, you can guess everything." He kisses my face. I said: "It's not yet dawn, you can sleep with me for a while." I stepped aside. "Come on." I patted the mattress. He lay beside me. "It's dangerous."

"No," I said, "I'll be fast asleep." I really dragged Song Jiaming to sleep soundly again.Listening to his heartbeat, I have a kind of peace.I've never slept through the night next to a man.No.I've never had sex with men. But Song Jiaming and I slept until dawn. He said: "I haven't slept soundly, my heart is awake, I'm scared to death, I can't control myself well." "What will happen if you know wisely?" I smiled and got up. "How? I don't know." He smiled. "We asked Hamilton today to retrieve the ashes," he said.

"why?" "Take her back to her birthplace." Song Jiaming said. "My mother was born in Shanghai." I said, "She is from Shanghai." "Hong Kong is also closer to Shanghai than Australia." "Is it really that important?" I asked indifferently. "She is your mother." Song Jiaming said. That's how men are, the only time they're good is on the pillow. When a man sleeps next to a woman, he can grow if he wants to be long, and if he wants to be short, he can be short.After getting out of bed, he is another person. He has a claim, and he wants to start ordering me.

Hamilton won't give me back the ashes— "She's Australian. She married me. She's my wife." Even with a lawyer, I'm not sure I'm going to win this case. I said silently, "Take me to see the scene." He drove us to the building on the scene, which is a department store. I stood on the street and looked up, only to feel the blue sky and white clouds, very happy and hearty. "I'm going to go upstairs and have a look," I said. Song Jiaming stopped me, and I gently pushed him away. Hamilton and the three of us took the elevator to the top floor, but the top floor of the building has been sealed off.I asked Song Jiaming to talk to the manager. After a long negotiation, the manager sent someone to open the door. Together with two plainclothes police detectives, we reached the top floor.A twenty-seven-storey house.

Looking down, the vehicles and pedestrians downstairs were squirming like insects and ants.You must die if you jump down.Where did my mother's moment of courage come from?I can't understand. I stood for a long time, but I couldn't say I was in a daze, and I didn't cry.There was a look of compassion on the faces of the two plain clothes.Who said that the world today is impersonal?When people see people who are more unfortunate than themselves, they naturally sympathize with them—to eliminate the strong and help the weak. Then I thanked Song Jiaming: "It must have taken a lot of time for you to let them open the door, right?"

He just nodded slightly and didn't answer. We say goodbye to Hamilton. Hamilton asked me bitterly, "Why?" "I don't know," I said. "Ask God." "Goodbye." Song Jiaming and I took turns shaking hands with him. Jia Ming asked: "Are you sure you don't want to bring any souvenirs back?" I raised my head and thought for a long time. "No." I said. We left Australia and went back to London. It was Xu Cunzi himself who appeared at the airport.We had only been away for four days, and I sat in his Damla, my head resting on his shoulder and not moving.

"What's wrong with you?" Xu asked in a low voice. "I'm very tired, and I need to suck some energy back from you." "Sun and Moon Essence? What Sun and Moon Essence do I have? You should choose a strong young man." He laughed, "Did you seduce my son-in-law?" I'm glad he asked.I honestly said, "No. I don't dare yet." "Don't think too much." He said, "It's okay to think too much about everything." I'm still wondering. Such a high roof, in a foreign land, more than 10,000 miles away from the place where she was born, where she committed suicide, God, why?

I thought of when she was a child, she would pick up the ribbons for tying presents from the company, and if they were crumpled, she would iron them out with boiling water in an enamel mouthpiece—we couldn’t even afford an iron. I thought of having a party when I was a child, using her earrings as a brooch, and winning infinite envious eyes. I thought about life and death. Anyway, she dragged me to grow up, and never left me. I thought of how my father came to borrow money during the Chinese New Year, and how she knocked him out with a big ear-scratch—it was me who picked up the hat for my father and handed it to him.

I thought about how she would go to work on public holidays through wind and rain, just to get a little extra money so that she could buy me a doll. I thought about the expenses of going to English middle school, her saving money by begging for old books among relatives and friends... the struggle between us. So I learned to ask boys to pay the bills when I was thirteen, and they would, because I was pretty and I knew how to please them. My mother, she didn't even contact me before she left this world, she didn't have a letter, or she thought I would understand, but unfortunately I didn't. Memories are fragmented, we don’t have much emotion, we are too embarrassed, and we don’t have the luxury time to cultivate our relationship. As time goes by, it’s not that she doesn’t regret that she didn’t scrape off this group of cells in the uterus to abort.I became her burden.All the boyfriends she brought back had their eyes fixed on my first child, and in the end I went to England, and she was old too. My mother was a beautiful woman, but she wasted her beauty and no one loved her. My mother's ex-husband wouldn't even pay for the last long distance call asking about her death. And Hamilton, what he did, he knew for himself.I don't have the ability to pursue it, and I don't want to pursue it. From now on, in this world, I am completely real, and I am the only one left. I shudder. one person. I leaned against Xu Cunzi drowsily, and I tried hard to say to myself: I want to forget the three words Jiang Yongli. Back in Cambridge I was ill. The doctor's diagnosis was a cold and a fever, and the forehead was burning hot. I knew it was a kind of vent.If I can't cry, I'm sick.I can't think of a reason to cry, but I have sick freedom. Doctors come and go, go and come. Xu Cunzi returned to Zurich.His flowers are piled up in my room every day, and I can't see clearly in the dimness. The doctor ordered to take all the flowers out. The fragrance of flowers does not help the patient. I always feel thirsty and often see Jiaming. I asked, "Where is wisdom?" I don't know why I asked about wisdom. "She's bored here by herself and has gone back to Hong Kong. She came to London on the day she changed her will." "A will?" I asked anxiously, "Whose will?" "Mr. Xu wants to change his will - we have already mentioned it." Jia Ming said. "No, why did Mr. Xu change his will?" I said hurriedly, "He won't die, he won't die." I struggled to get up, "I'll tell him." Jiaming and the nurse put me on the bed, and my name, Tao, burst into tears. I just wanted to get up and look for Xu Cunzi. The nurse said: "Okay, she finally cried, it's good for her." I cried for a long time before falling asleep.I saw many letters again in my dream, and piles of letters fell out of the box.Those boys who said they loved me, they really wrote letters... Then I felt someone kiss me, on the lips, on the cheeks, at the base of the ears, I opened my eyes, it wasn't Xu Cunzi, the young man's body sniffing, stroking his hair, it was Jia Ming. "Who am I?" Jia Ming asked, "If you think about it, don't call me by the wrong name." He buried his face next to my pillow. "Jiaming." I wasn't surprised. "It's me," he said. "Jia Ming, what's wrong with you?" I asked, "What's wrong with you?" "Nothing." He rested his head on my chest. I said: "You don't have to sympathize with me or pity me, I'm fine, I'm fine, really, Jia Ming, you don't have to pity me for my life experience." As if he didn't hear me, he said softly, "Or we can escape from Xu's house together, would you like it?" My heart sank.He is serious. I was half awake in sickness.Every woman likes to have a man sacrifice for her, but this is too great.Let's run away together... to build a small family in a place, Xu Cunzi will not send people to assassinate us, no, Xu Cunzi will not.But how long can Song Jiaming love me, and how long can I love him? Do I have to cook every day?Do you have to work outside the home?Do I have to drop out of school?Do you want to listen to him repeat the trifle he got back from his boss?Do I have to raise children for him? He and Xu Conghui are a match made in heaven, but the happiness of Conghui is not my happiness. "Jia Ming, thank you, but I don't want to escape, he never imprisoned me, how can I escape?" I said softly. "He finally found the woman he wanted." Song Jiaming sighed. "You were so loyal to him." "No, Jiaming, I am loyal to him because I haven't found anyone better than him." I said softly. "Kiss me." I kiss his face. "Thank you, Jiaming, thank you, I will never tell others, don't worry." "If I was worried about that, I wouldn't talk about it," he said despondently. "Jiaming—" "Don't talk, don't talk—" He stayed by my bedside until dawn.I betrayed Xu Cunzi's whole family.Fortunately, people betrayed me, and I betrayed others.Sinners betray sinners without the sense of sin. Xu Cunzi returned to London from Helsinki to meet his relatives and held a "will conference." I did not participate.My body has recovered and I am going to school.It is nearly six o'clock after school.They ate at Xia Hui, but I didn't go either. I ate sandwiches and hot milk at home, watching TV. Xu Cunzi appeared behind me and said, "Where have you been?" "Go to school." I said. "Why don't you come and see how much money you have in your name?" he asked. "Not interested. I already have enough money." I replied. "They were very disappointed. They thought you were eager to know." Xu Cunzi said. I smiled and said, "It's none of their business how much money I have, maybe you have given me the whole kingdom in private - how do they know? The only one who knows everything is the almighty Mr. Xu Cunzi." He sits down.Simpson offered the brandy.I went over to kiss his face, talked for a while, and he left. Not long after he left, Cong Hui and Jia Ming both came to see me and we drank coffee together. Conghui said triumphantly: "Daddy didn't give you anything." I said dryly, "IDONTGIVEADAMN." "Really?" Conghui asked mockingly. "Of course it is." Conghui saw that my expression was not pretending, and was surprised again.Conghui can never make up her mind to hate someone. There is no word "hate" in her dictionary. She hates me, and she forgets after a while. Subconsciously, she knows that I am her recognized enemy. She should be mean to me and bully me, but she Unable to do so, she often forgot her tasks.She is so cute. I'll take a look at Jiaming.His eyes did not fall on my face.He was preoccupied and looked very unnatural. I said, "I'm trying to hunt Mr. Xu Cunzi himself. If I get him, I'll get everything. If I don't get him, I don't care for those crumbs." Song Jiaming raised his head. "Like Scotland's famous Castle of Medicau—a trivial part?" I looked up, not unexcited. "Yes, Your Highness. Mr. Xu also bought you a fully radar-controlled yacht with a length of 136 feet. Your Highness can invite you to visit the North Sea." The jealousy in Jia Ming's voice was uncontrollable and obvious. Smart eyes wide open. "I don't believe it! I don't believe Dad would do that." Jia Ming said: "I brought the deed, you can sign it." He put the document on the desk. I asked, "That yacht, can it fire surface-to-air missiles?" Blue veins appeared on Song Jiaming's forehead, "I hope your attitude is a little more serious." "Mr. Song," I said, "I didn't know you were so impatient with me, but you wouldn't tell Mr. Xu your dissatisfaction with me, would you? You are just Mr. Xu's employee." Conghui blushed. "He's my husband," she said eagerly. "Fiance." I corrected, "I haven't seen you in a wedding dress yet, OK, please take out the drawing and let me have a look." I smile.Yes, bitch, Song Jiaming must have scolded me like that.Everyone from top to bottom can scold me like this, but I don't care.What surprised me was that these days, Xu Cunzi kept adding to my property, but emotionally he stubbornly refused to admit defeat.I don't understand him. Conghui said furiously: "I don't believe that Dad would do such a foolish thing! I really don't believe it." She clenched her fists and pounded the table vigorously. I looked up and asked, "Do you know how much your dad has?" She was startled, unable to answer. I said: "You all think that he should divide the inheritance early to avoid paying astronomical inheritance taxes in the future. But you don't know how much his property is. Or what he gave me was just swept off the table. Bread crumbs, why don’t you see them? Even dogs, don’t they deserve this kind of treatment? Besides, you don’t know how much I sacrificed for him?” When I said this, I was not without sadness. Conghui said, "You get more than us." "You're his children, he's your father, you can't count that," I said, "I'm just his—" I sat down and signed a name on the deed. Jiaming added: "Solence's Auction House in London will hold an auction of a batch of antique clocks on the 12th of next month. Mr. Xu thinks it's worth a look. He said you might be interested." "What kind of clock?" I asked. "Here's the catalog." He pulled out a pamphlet and put it in front of me. "One of them was specially made for Pope Paul I, a masterpiece of Venetian craftsmen in the 16th century. Every time the clock strikes, the twelve disciples will nod to Jesus one by one according to the rhythm of the music." "How cute." I smiled, "I will definitely go to Sullins on the twelfth." "Mr. Xu also said, if you see Caroline Kennedy there, don't keep raising your hand. There are many such clocks." "Why? Aren't we richer than her? I don't believe it." I smiled. Cong Hui marveled, "Jia Ming, did you notice? We are just ordinary people's lives, and she is like a princess." "Yes." Song Jiaming replied, "You just found out now?" He said mockingly. "Let's go quickly." Cong Hui said, "I'm going to see Dad." "Why?" Song Jiaming raised his head and asked. "He's old," Conghui said angrily, "and he doesn't know what he's doing." "The money is his, the power is his, smart, I advise you to think twice before acting." "Are you coming with me?" Conghui asked, "I'm leaving here now! I'm sick." "You wait for me in the car for five minutes, I'll be right there, I still have something to explain." Conghui left without looking back. Song Jiaming asked in a low voice, "Follow me." "I won't do that, you know I won't do that, it's not good for you or me, you can't do without wisdom, you know it yourself." "I'm willing to die for you," he said hastily. I stretch. "I am most afraid of others sacrificing for me. Anyone who uses such words will regret it afterwards. In the future, someone will remind me of how they sacrificed for me back then. I can't stand it." "Aren't you afraid that Xu Cunzi will know?" He asked angrily. "Xu Cunzi?" I was surprised, "You think he doesn't know yet?" I imitated Song Jiaming's tone, "Then my estimate of you is too high. He just came to warn me this morning." Jiaming's face turned gray, he was afraid of Xu Cunzi, but I didn't look down on him because of this.Who is not afraid of Xu Cunzi?I am also afraid.Afraid that he is supercilious, afraid that he has power.The most important thing is that we all want to make a fortune from him, but we are most afraid that we won't be able to. "You'd better go quickly." I said, "Thank you, Jia Ming, for a person with your temper to make such a request, it really gives me face, thank you." He opened the door without a word and left. I hear the roar of the clever sports car engine. I've never felt so lonely.Everyone leaves me.Sitting in such a small house already feeling bone-chilling, moving to a Scottish fort?No matter how good the fire is, it's useless if there is no one to accompany it. I feel sleepy, I lock the door and hang up the phone. Snow fell outside the window, the snow melted into water, and gradually turned into rain. I fell asleep in the room, and saw my mother waving to me.It's not that I don't know that she is dead, but I am not afraid. There is no reason for a daughter to be afraid of her mother. I got up in a trance and walked to my mother. I said: "Mom, what's wrong with you? Are you cold?" She gave me her cold feeling, "Put on my clothes." "Sit down, Xiao Bao, sit down." She gestured, "How are you doing?" Her face was very clear, and she looked younger than before. "It's fine." I said, "How about you?" "It's still not the same." I have a thousand and ten thousand questions I want to ask, but I can't ask them. "What do you need? Mom, I can do it for you." I said. "Nothing. I just want to see you, Xiaobao." "I'm not afraid, Mom, come whenever you have time." I said. "Can I shake your hand?" she asked. "Of course." I held out my hand. She held my hand, which wasn't as cold as the legend says.But she just disappeared in front of me. I yelled, "Mom! Mom." I opened my eyes, and I was nauseous. Simpson heard my voice and gently knocked on the door: "Miss Jiang, Miss Jiang?" I asked loudly, "What time is it?" "Eleven o'clock." Simpson replied in surprise, "Did you not look at the clock?" I opened the curtains casually. "night?" "No, it's morning." It wasn't daylight. "Oh my god," I said, "I'm going to be late for class." "Miss Jiang, you have guests." "If it's Xu Conghui or Song Jiaming, if I don't have time to talk to them, I'm exhausted." "He's from the Xu family, he is Master Xu Congshu." I put down my toothbrush, took a mouthful of toothpaste foam, and ran to open the door. "Who?" My surprise was indescribable. A mentally ill person escaped here from a nursing home. I can't bear the crime. "Master Xu," Simpson said. "God," I immediately wiped off the toothpaste with a towel, and put on the morning building. "Does he look good?" I asked. "Fine, get tired," Simpson laughed, "anyone gets tired after flying that long. "Congshu?" I walked into the reception room. He sat there, listening to my voice, turning his head.He looked fine, not sick at all, and was well dressed.Beside him was a whole set of purple buckskin suitcases from "Etienne Aigner". I patted his shoulder, "Are you passing by?" I asked. (Zhu Yingtai asked Liang Shanbo: "Brother Xian, are you passing by, or are you here on purpose?") "No," Congshu replied, "I came here specially to see you." "From Hong Kong?" I stammered. "Of course." He was surprised, "Didn't I inform you in the letter? Damn, you haven't received the letter yet?" "Yes." I pulled him to sit down slowly, "I haven't received the letter yet." I looked at his delicate face, "Does your family know that you left Hong Kong this time?" "Why do I want them to know?" He disapproved, "I'm not a child. Conghui comes and goes freely, when did she notify the family?" "But you are different," I said, "you are sick, you are not well." "Who says I'm sick?" Congshu said, "I just don't want to go home and see those people." "Congshu, Jiaming and Conghui are both in London, do you want to contact them?" I asked. "No," he said, "I'm only here to see you." "But they're your family—" "Little Treasure." He became impatient, "When did you become like this? I can't believe it." "It doesn't matter if you believe it or not, I have to change clothes and go to class. "Xiaobao, stay with me for a day." "No, Congshu, my reading is different from your reading. I'm very nervous, excuse me. You can rest or read a book. I'll leave school at three o'clock. If you have anything to do, just tell the servants here." I went upstairs to change clothes. "Little Treasure." He shouted angrily downstairs, "I drove ten thousand miles to see you—" "What is 10,000 miles to you?" I called back, "Your family takes a plane like a tram." After changing my clothes, I drove to school.The first thing is to try to find Song Jiaming.Song Jiaming was not at Li Qin Park's home, nor was Cong Hui, after several twists and turns, he finally got in touch with Jia Ming. I said, "Mr. Song, please contact Mr. Xu immediately and tell him that Congshu is at my house. I can't take this risk." Jia Ming took a deep breath—"You, where are you?" "I'm at school, you'd better ask Mr. Xu to come here immediately. Is Mr. Xu in England at the moment?" "Yes, I will notify him immediately." "Okay, I don't finish school until three o'clock, I hope you will have left when I go home." I said, "I live in that place, and I don't want everyone in the Xu family to use my house as a garden. Come wander in and out." "Miss Jiang, what's the use of saying this to me?" He said with hatred in his tone, "I'm just a staff member of Xu's family." I was startled, then laughed, "That's right, Mr. Song, I forgot, sorry." I hung up the phone. It was raining all the time during class. I think I did it right this time.Xu Cunzi has this son in her heart.A son is no better than a son-in-law, so I can't touch Xu Congshu. I didn't leave the classroom after class.There was a lot of smoke smell in the small classroom, I opened the window a crack, and the fresh air outside sneaked in like a mirage, I took a greedy breath, thinking of yesterday's dream, my dead mother came to visit me. The professor asked me: "You seem to be in a bad mood for a while, what's the matter?" His voice was gentle. "No." I raised my head, "Unless you mean my mother's death." "Is it unpleasant in your heart?" he asked. "No, it doesn't." "Then what is it? A young and beautiful girl with such good grades and a seemingly excellent family background. What is it for? Please tell me." "Sir, you can't look at things on the surface. Everyone has difficulties and troubles. There is a Chinese idiom called 'every family has scriptures that are hard to recite'." "Every family has scriptures that are difficult to recite." He smiled, "But you are such a young girl." "No, sir, I'm not getting any younger." I sat down. "Look at your hair, that color...you're a beautiful girl..." said the professor, "you shouldn't have any trouble." "I don't really have any worries." I looked down. "I was just wondering where I could find a lot of love." "Don't we all love you?" asked the professor. "But it's not this kind of love, it's the love between a man and a woman..." "You will meet him at last, your ideal lover, you will meet him at last," said the professor. "You're very optimistic, sir. I don't dare to be so confident." I bowed my head. The bells of the church in the distance were ringing continuously, and I felt pity in my heart.Both red and white things are ringing bells.There is only a thin line between joy and sorrow. I look up. "Thank you, I have to go." "Young girl, I wish I knew what you were thinking." He walked me out of the classroom. No one knows what's going on in another person's mind.Thank goodness we don't know, thank goodness we don't. I was driving home, and suddenly the sun burst out of the sky, shining golden light on the front window of the car, and the frozen ice flakes turned into diamonds shining like diamonds.I drove home calmly. Everyone at home is there.Xu Cunzi, Xu Congshu, Song Jiaming. I thought I'd made it clear and hoped they'd all be back by the time I got back, but it's been four hours and they're still sitting there. "Mrs. Simpson." I raised my voice. No one should. The maid hurried out to take off my coat."Where's Mrs. Simpson?" I asked. "She's gone," whispered the maid. "Why?" I asked in surprise. "Master Xu hit her." The maid replied in a low voice. "Oh, my God," I said, "why did he hit my butler? Did she go away and never come back?" "Come back tomorrow, she just left crying." The maid reported in a low voice. "What are they doing in there?" I asked. "Arguing?" "I don't know, Miss Jiang, they sat there for four or five hours without talking, and I couldn't hear anything." "My God. It's like that," I said. Xu Cunzi raised her voice: "Is it Xiaobao? Why don't you come in? We're all waiting for you." "Wait for me?" I asked back, "Why are you waiting for me?" I walked in, "I have a lot of homework to do. This matter has nothing to do with me." "It has nothing to do with you?" Xu Cunzi raised his thick eyebrows. "Of course! Mr. Xu, please be fair. I've never been a foolish person, and I can't blame me for this incident." I said, "All the letters of Congshu are in your hands. , all of us are in the dark. I will tell you as soon as others arrive, what did I do wrong?" Congshu jumped up, "My——letter..." "You guys have a good talk, I'm going upstairs to rest." I said. "The problem is, Congshu refuses to leave here," Xu Cunzi said. I glanced at Song Jiaming, but he didn't make a sound. I sneered. "Anyway, he beat my housekeeper away. He loves living here. I let him be fine." When Xu Cunzi heard my words, there was a burst of joy in his eyes. Congshu asked me in a trembling voice, "Did you receive those letters from me?" "Never." I shook my head. "The replies I got—" "Not my work." I said firmly, "Congshu, why don't you stand up properly, yes, stand up on your two respectable legs, go outside, yes, open the door, go out, and see Sunshine and rain outside. You are a man now, you should understand that you can't have everything! I don't love you, can you leave here so that everyone can live more comfortably?" Congshu burst into tears suddenly. I looked at Xu Cunzi with sympathy.Such a courageous man gave birth to such a cowardly son. I turned to the maid and said, "Tell Mrs. Simpson to come back and tell her that I am here and no one can touch her." Then I said, "I will beat anyone who gets into trouble with me for no reason, and go and take my riding whip." Take it out." I frantically grabbed my sleeves. "I have to go up and do my homework, and you are all allowed to leave within half an hour." "Xiaobao..." Congshu called me from behind, "I must talk to you." "Forgiveness," I almost begged, "I really don't see anything I can do to help you. I don't love you, and I don't want to see you. Your irresponsible behavior makes your parents extremely sad. Sad, can't you see it?" "If you know me, if you give me a little time..." His wet hand touched my face again. I'm not afraid, in front of Song Jiaming, in front of his father, I just feel infinitely embarrassed, I push his hand away. He said: "Xiaobao, you can't send me away like this...you can't—" Xu Cunzi put his hand on Congshu's shoulder, and Congshu shook off his father's hand in disgust. "Congshu, I will accompany you back to Hong Kong." "I don't want to go back to Hong Kong." "You must go back." "don't want." I don't want to hear any more.I went out and drove to a nearby stable to see the horses. It was getting colder. The groom comes here. "Good afternoon, miss." "How's my 'Sapphire'?" I asked, "Old Tim, have you taken good care of it?" "Very good. I'll pull it out to show you." Old Tim replied. "I'll go with you." I said. I followed him to the stables, and Sapphire neighed. "You don't ride it today?" Old Tim asked. I shook my head, "I have homework today." "A fine horse, madam, it is a fine horse." "Abrusha." I nodded. "It's rare to see Abelotha in England," said a voice in surprise. I turned my head and saw a young man riding a sorrel horse, according to the description in "Water Talisman", it should be "the color of burning coal, and there is no stray hair on his body."good horse.Chi Mian should be in this shape. He has blond hair, blond eyebrows, and a bad accent.If not German, then Nordic. He dismounted and stretched out his hand, "Von Eisenbeck." I laughed, "Hans? John? Hu Fujin?" "Hans." He also laughed, "It's unfortunate. German men seem to only have three names forever." I pulled out Sapphire, slapped it on the back, and fed it sugar cubes. "Are you Chinese?" he asked. "North Korea? Japan?" "I am a princess of the Qing Dynasty, and my father is a prince." I laughed. He shrugged. "I don't doubt that I can afford an Abelusa—" "Two. The other is in London," I said. He gave a low whistle. "You ride a fancy dress?" "No," I shook my head, "I just fattened up Abelusa and killed it to eat." The Germans are slightly discolored. "I'm sorry." He was very personable, "My question is very off-road?" "Never mind," I said, "no, I don't ride fancy, I just get on my horse and ride a few laps, a very bad rider who wastes a good horse and feels ashamed sometimes." "Why don't you learn to ride well?" asked Hans. "Why do you need to learn how to ride well?" I was stunned. "All Germans are perfectionists. They have to be perfect to make a cup of milk powder. I think everyone only needs to do one thing in their life, and that's enough." "Your Highness, is this the Chinese philosophy?" He asked with a smile. "No, it's Her Royal Highness's private philosophy." I replied. "So what have you done well in your life?" he asked. "Me?" I said, "I'm a good student." I said frankly. "Really?" he asked. "Really," I said, "best school, best students. Are you a student at Cambridge too?" "No," he shook his head, "I'm a professor at Cambridge." I raised my eyebrows, "Not really." "Of course it's true," he said. "Physics department." "Physics in Cambridge?" I laughed, "Science in Cambridge is not very good." He smiled: "A woman's opinion." He's proud, he's young, he's beautiful, and I smile too, deciding not to bicker with him.He's not Dennis Nguyen, the thin-lipped German physicist I'm not sure of. I sat on the ground and watched the sapphires graze. Beautiful place, beautiful sky. "What does it mean you have a white flower in your hair?" He sat beside me. "My mother passed away, and I wear mourning." "Ah, sorry." "Never mind," I said, "sooner or later we're going to have to go that way." "But you don't seem like a negative person," he said. I smiled, "You live in a dormitory?" "No, I rented a hut in the countryside." "Would you like me to have a cup of tea?" I asked. "You are very welcome." He said politely, "It's a pity that I haven't learned her name yet." "You can read Chinese? I don't have an English name. My surname is Jiang, so call me Jiang." I said. "Are you a princess?" Hans asked. "Of course I'm joking. It's rare for a princess to see one in her life." "When you see it, you have to try it with thirty mattresses and one bean." He used the famous fairy tale. "Let's go for a ride," I said. "Excuse me for being American? Ride in jeans." The groom fixed the saddle for me, and I got on the horse. "Which side?" I asked. "Follow me," he said. He is not "saying", he is giving orders.I heard that German men are like this. We rode very slowly, and the scenery along the way was picturesque, full of spring, and this kind of enjoyment was not in vain. Hans looked at my horse and said, "Good horse." I smiled as if he had bought me tea just for the sake of the Abrusha.I kept quiet and we rode lightly to his home. It was a farmhouse with an exquisite thatched roof. I dismounted and took a blanket to cover the horse's back. He invited me into the house, where the fire was burning and filled with the aroma of shredded tobacco.I knew right away that he was a pipe smoker.The shelves are full of books.On one side is the record of John Sabeth Tiannbach, which is the Italian Concerto in F major. He's a quiet guy.There were little trays of plants on the window frames, all growing luxuriantly.It can be seen that he took good care of them.When I turned my head, he had already held out beer and hot tea, with a pipe in his mouth. "Sit down, please," he said, "you're welcome." "Are you a nobleman?" I asked. "Von Eisenbeck." He shook his head, "If the nobles don't have warrior fortresses, how can they be called nobles?" I'd love to tell him I own a fort, but it's best not to mention it until I see it myself. "That necklace around your neck—" “我爸爸送的项链。”我说。 “很美。”汉斯说着在书架上抽出一本画册，打开翻到某一页，是一位美妇人肖像，他指指“看到这串项链没有？多么相像，一定是仿制品。” 我看仔细了，我说：“我不认为我这条是仿制品，这妇人是谁？” “杜白丽。”他微笑。 我把项链除下来，把坠子翻过来给他看。“你瞧，我注意到这里一直有两个字母的一duB。” 他不由自主地放下烟斗，取出放大镜，看了看那几个小字，又对着图片研究半响。 他瞪着我，睫毛金色闪闪。“你爸爸是什么人？” “商人。”我说。 “他必然比一个国王更富有。这条项链的表面价值已非同小可，这十来颗未经琢磨的红宝石与绿钻石——”他吸进一口气，“我的业余嗜好是珠宝鉴定。” 现在我才懂得勖存姿的美意。杜白丽与我一样，是最受宠的情妇。 我发一阵呆。 然后我说：“我也很喜欢这条项链，小巧细致，也很可爱，你看，石头都是小颗小颗，而且红绿白三色衬得很美观。” “小颗？”汉斯看我一眼，“坠链最低这一颗红宝石，也怕有两卡多。历史价值是无可估计的。” I smile.也不会太贵。我想勖存姿不会过分。 “我替你戴上。”他帮我系好项链。“神秘的东方人。说不定你父亲在什么地方还拥有一座堡垒。” Yes.麦都考堡，但不是他的，是我的，现在是我的。 我喝完了茶。 我站起来，“谢谢你的茶，”我说，“我要走了。” “我送你回马厩。”汉斯放下烟斗。 "Ok." I said. 在回程中我说：“你那一间房子很舒服。” “每星期三下午我都在老添那里骑马，你有空的话，下星期三可以再见。” “一言为定。”我跟他握手。 我开车回家，只见勖存姿在喝白兰地，辛普森已回来了。 “啊辛普森太大。”居移体，养移气，我变得她一般的虚伪。“真高兴再见到你，没有你，我简直不知道怎么办才好。” “姜小姐，你回来了真好。”她昂然进厨房去替我取茶。 她这句话可以听得出是由衷的。她脸上有某处还粘着一小块纱布，至少我从没有殴打她。 我坐下来。“他们都走了？” “走了。”勖存姿叹口气。 如何走的，也不消细说，有勖聪恕这样的儿子，也够受的，我可以了解。 我说：“你也别为他担心，你也已经尽了力。” 他说：“你才应该是我的孩子，喜宝，你的——” “巴辣。”我摊摊手，“我就是够巴辣。” “不不，你的坚决，你的判断、冷静，定力，取舍——你才是我的孩子。” 我微笑，“你待我也够好的，并不会比父亲待女儿差，你对我很好很好。” “是，物质。”勖存姿说。 “也不止是物质，”我说，“情感上我还是倚靠你的。你为什么不能爱我？”我问。 他目光炯炯地看着我，“我在等你先爱我。” “不，”我回视他，固执地，“你先爱我。” 他叠着手看牢我，说：“你先！你一定要先爱我。” 我冷笑：“为什么？有什么道理我要那么做？你为什么不能先爱我？” He turned away. “哦。”我转变话题，“谢谢你的项链，我不知道是杜白丽夫人的东西。” “现在是怎么知道的？”他平静地问。 “有人告诉我。” “一个德国人？叫汉斯·冯艾森贝克？”他问。 我的血凝住，真快。他知道得太快。 忽然之间我的心中灵光一现。老添，那个马夫。 勖存姿冷冷地说：“如果你再去见他，别怪我无情，我会用枪打出他的脑浆！你会很快明白那并不是恐吓。”他转过头来，“我还会亲手做。” “我不相信。”我用同样的语气说，“你会为我杀人？你能逃得谋杀罪名？我不相信？” “姜小姐，”他低声说，“你到现在，应该相信勖存姿还没有碰到办不成的事。” “你不能使我先爱你。”我断然说，“你得先爱我！你可以半夜进来扼死我，但不能使我先爱你，我尊重你，诚服你，但是我不会先爱你。”我转身走。 "stop." I turned my head. 他震怒，额上青筋毕现。“我警告你，姜小姐，你在我面前如此放肆，你会后悔。” 我轻声说：“勖先生，你不像令公子的——强迫别人对你奉献爱情，我不怕，勖先生，我一点儿也不害怕。” 他看着我很久很久。 真可惜，在我们没见面的时候，反而这么接近和平，见到他却针锋相对，这到底是怎么一回事？我多么想与他和平相处，但是他不给我机会，他要我学习其他婢妾，我无法忍受。 他终于叹了一口气说：“我从来没见过比你更强硬的女人。” “你把我逼成这样子的。我想现在你又打算离开了。” “并不，我打算在此休息一下。” “我还是得上课的。”我说。 “我不会叫你为我请假。”他说，“我明白你这个人，你誓死要拿到这张文凭。” “不错。”我说。 “自卑感作祟。”他说。 “是的，”我说，“一定是，但是一般人都希望得到有这类自卑感的儿女。”我在讽刺聪恕与聪慧，“恐怕只除了你？” 这一下打击得他很厉害，他生气了，他说：“你不得对我无礼。” "Sorry." I said.我真的抱歉，他还是我的老板，无论如何，他还是我的老板。 “你上楼去吧，我们的对白继续下去一点儿好处也没有。” “我明白。”我上楼。 我并不知道他在客厅坐到几时，我一直佯装不在乎，其实是非常在乎的，一直睡不好，辗转反侧，我希望他可以上楼来，又希望他可以离开，那么至少我可以完全心死，不必牵挂。 但是他没有，他在客厅坐了一夜，然后离去。 他在考虑什么我都知道，他在考虑是不是应该离开我。我尚不知道他的答案。 星期三我到老添马厩去，我跟老添说：“添，你的嘴已太大了。” 老添极不好意思，他喃喃说：“勖先生给我的代价很高。” 我摇摇头，人为财死，鸟为食亡。 老添又缓缓地说：“我警告过冯艾森贝克先生了。” “他说什么？”我问。 冯艾森贝克的声音自我身后扬起，“我不怕。”他笑。 我惊喜地转身说：“汉斯。” “你好吗，姜。”他取下烟斗。 “好，谢谢你。”我与他握手。 烟丝喷香地传入我的鼻孔。我深深呼吸一下，不知道为什么，我极之乐意见到他，因为他是明朗的、纯清的。正常的一个人，把我自那污浊的环境内带离一会儿，我喜欢他。 “你的'父亲'叫勖存姿？”他问。 I smile. "yes." “我都知道了。但是我与他的'女儿'骑骑马，喝杯茶，总是可以吧？”汉斯似笑非笑。 “当然可以，”我笑，“你不是那种人。” 我们一起策骑两个圈子，然后到他家，照样的喝茶，这次他请我吃自制牛角面包，还有蜜糖，我吃了很多，然后用耳机听巴哈的音乐。 我觉得非常松弛，加上一星期没有睡好，半躺在安乐椅上，竟然憩着了。什么梦也没有，只闻到木条在壁炉里燃烧的香味，耐久有一声“哗卜”。 汉斯把一条毯子盖住我。我听到蓝宝石在窗外轻轻嘶叫踏蹄。 醒来已是掌灯时分，汉斯在灯下翻阅笔记，放下烟斗，给我一大杯热可可，他不大说话，动作证明一切。 忽然之间我想，假使他是中国人，能够嫁给他未尝不是美事。就这样过一辈子，骑马、种花，看书。 宋家明呢？嫁给宋家明这样的人逃到老远的地方去，两个人慢慢培养感情，养育儿女，日子久了，总能自头偕老。想到这里，捧着热可可杯子，失神很久，但愿这次勖存姿立定了心思抛弃我，或者我尚有从头开始的希望。 “你在想什么？”汉斯问我。 “你会娶我这样的女子？”我冒失地问。 “很难说。”他微笑，“我们两人的文化背景相距太大，并不易克服，并且我也没有想到婚姻问题。” 我微笑，“那么，你会不会留我吃晚饭？” “当然，我有比萨饼与苹果批，还有冰淇淋。”汉斯说。 “我决定留下来。”我掀开毯子站起来伸个懒腰。 “你确是一个美丽的女孩子。”他说着上下打量我。 “美丽？即使是美丽，也没有灵魂。”我说，“我是浮士德。” “你'父亲'富甲一方，你应该有灵魂。”他咬着烟斗沉思，“这年头，连灵魂也可以买得到。” “少废话，把苹果批取出来。”我笑道。 吃完晚饭汉斯送我回家。 辛普森说：“勖先生说他要过一阵才回来。” “是吗？”我漠不关心地问一句。