Chapter 6 Chapter Five Do You Still Love Me

A week later, I found out that Sen hadn't cashed the check and the money was still in my account.It had occurred to me long ago that he would not ask for that money.I wanted to return the money to him, but I also thought about whether I would be disappointed if he really wanted the money back, and even doubted whether he ever loved me. "If he really cashes the check, you don't want to miss him any more," Xu Yu said. It has been a month and the money is in my account intact.I was not mistaken, Sen is a good man, but unfortunately I am not blessed to be his wife.Maybe one day, six months later, a year later, or even ten years later, he will wake up and cash the check.

Xu Yu called me and asked, "Yu Wuguo would like to invite Chen Dingliang to dinner. On Thursday night, can you come too?" "Isn't it because the sales of the book are not good?" I was surprised that Yu Wuguo was so open to reading this time. "He doesn't seem to be unhappy. Since he came back from the United States, he has become more cheerful. If he is like before, I really worry. Come on! Chen Dingliang isn't that scary, is he?" "Okay!" If I refused again this time, Xu Yu would definitely blame me for not being enough friends. Yu Wuguo invited us to dinner at an open-air Italian restaurant in Saigon.

Chen Dingliang arrived on time, I haven't seen him for a long time since I kicked him last time. "Who proposed to come here?" I asked Xu Yu. "It's Chen Dingliang." She said. "I thought you would like open-air restaurants, and your puzzle is also a semi-outdoor restaurant." Chen Dingliang said. "How considerate!" Xu Yu spoke for Chen Dingliang. "I plan to start a publishing house." Yu Wuguo announced his plan to us. "I didn't hear you say that." Xu Yu listened carefully with his head resting on his head. "It is very difficult to set up a publishing house in Hong Kong." Chen Dingliang said.

"I also have a joint venture with a friend. In addition to publishing my science fiction novels, we will also go to Japan to negotiate the copyright of comics, translate and distribute them in Hong Kong. That friend is a Japanese expert. As long as we can get a popular comic Copyright, you can make a lot of money." Yu Wuguo is full of ambition. "It's worth doing!" Xu Yu stared at Yu Wu Guo with incomparable admiration. The next day, Xu Yu came to me, and it turned out that Yu Wuguo had no funds at all. "How much will it cost?" I asked Xu Yu. "Yu Wuguo and his partners will each contribute 300,000 yuan."

"so much?" "When you go to Japan to buy comic copyright, you have to pay first, and you have to buy a batch at a time, you can't just buy one copy, this is the biggest expense, and you have to rent an office building, hire two or three full-time staff, printing, typesetting, publicity, etc. Money. Yu Wuguo spends tens of thousands of yuan every time he publishes a book." Xu Yu told me one by one. "How can he run a publishing house without money?" I asked Xu Yu. "He is a person who never thinks about money. When he thinks of what to do, he does it all at once."

Xu Yu didn't seem to mind Yu Wuguo's style. However, wouldn't it be too irresponsible for a man to charge forward without knowing how capable he is and leave the problem to a woman? "He thought I still had money," Xu Yu said. "The last time he went to the United States, you gave him all your savings, and he thought you were rich?" I was a little angry. "He didn't know that it was all my savings." Xu Yu said quietly, "It's all because I don't know how to save money, and I bought hundreds of dollars for a bust." "The money I put in the bank cannot be moved, and Sen will take it away at any time." I knew Xu Yu wanted my help.

"I know this too." "I only have tens of thousands of yuan, which is all my savings, and I can lend it to you." "Tens of thousands of dollars is really not enough." Xu Yu sighed. "Look for You Ying to discuss it!" I said. "I really don't want to borrow from my friends. It's better to borrow from a finance company as a lump sum. I heard that with a monthly salary of 10,000 yuan, you can borrow 200,000 in one go." "Borrow money from a finance company, the interest rate is very high, and you don't have a fixed job, the finance company won't borrow money."

Xu Yu left disappointed and didn't look for me for a few days. I had more than 54,000 yuan in my bank account. I wrote a check to her. "I have a way to get 300,000." Xu Yu told me when he reappeared. "any solution?" "Someone asked me to make a computer disc." "Is there so much money for making computer discs?" "Ordinary computer discs certainly don't have this price." "Didn't you mean porn CDs?" "There is no need to be naked, but the consciousness is bolder and more sexy." "Aren't you?"

"The other party promised to give me 300,000 yuan." "You are not a star, if I give you 300,000 yuan, will you be naked?" "I want to reveal two points." Xu Yu finally spoke the truth. "Is it really a porn CD? Don't shoot it." I advised her. "no." "Just for Yu Wuguo? If you don't have money, don't start a company. It's not like he will die without this money." "I can't bear to let him down, he's already looking for an office." "Does he know you make this kind of CD?" "Don't let him know."

"If he knew, he would break up with you." "He won't know, he doesn't play computer." "What will his friends do when they see it?" "He doesn't have many friends, and those people don't play computers." "What if he sees it?" "He won't recognize me. I'll curl my hair and put on heavy makeup. Maybe they will think I'm not pretty and move the face of a female star onto my face!" "Xu Yu, don't take pictures! I have fifty-four thousand yuan here, take it!" I handed her the check. "Keep it for yourself!" Xu Yu waved his hand with a smile, "I know the boss who invested in this disc. He knew that I needed money, so he only gave it 300,000 yuan! The normal price is only 200,000 yuan."

"You agreed?" I couldn't believe it. "Go and sign the contract tomorrow." "Have you thought it through?" "Didn't I say that I can do anything for Yu Wuguo?" Xu Yu said with a smile. "I'll find a solution with Sen. I can borrow 300,000 yuan from him." I told Xu Yu that I couldn't bear her to sacrifice her luster. Xu Yu took my hand: "You are so kind, you are indeed my best friend. It must be difficult for you to borrow money from Wensen Tang. After breaking up, if a woman borrows money from a man, he will look down on him It will completely destroy your good memories of the past, and your sacrifice is bigger than mine." "You are a woman, what should you do if you reveal two things?" "I don't know how lucky I am to be a woman. Otherwise, how could these two points be worth anything? Don't think too badly about this matter. This CD was shot by a famous photographer in Japan. He took pictures for many popular female stars. I have had a photo album. This CD of mine is full of beauty, sexy but not pornographic, and I don’t know how to have sex with the male lead. Take advantage of your youth and leave a beautiful image!” "This disc is for public sale, any man can buy it and watch it." "They wouldn't recognize me if they saw me on the street. Do you agree that I'm in good shape?" "It's not good, and no one will ask you to reveal something." "Then why waste everything?" "They said a lot of nice things about you and put you to sleep, didn't they?" "Listen to me, how good a woman's figure is, one day, it will become a relic of history. The most proud thing in my life, apart from Yu Wuguo, is my figure. In a few years, I will give birth to Yu Wuguo's child , I can’t keep this figure anymore, why don’t I leave a memorial?” "Let me ask you a question, if Yu Wuguo didn't need the 300,000 yuan, would you have made this CD?" "Won't." "That's it. It's self-deception to take advantage of youth to keep a beautiful image." "I have to do it anyway, why not think about the good?" Xu Yu was optimistic. I feel very sad and I want to tell Yu Wuguo. I made an appointment with Youying at the Wenhua Cafe after get off work, and told her about Xu Yu making pornographic CDs. "If you tell Yu Wuguo, Xu Yu will hate you." You Ying said. "If she does, she will regret it." "Why did you stop her from sacrificing for her man?" You Ying asked me back. I thought You Ying would be on my side, but I didn't expect her to be more enlightened than me. "Is it worth sacrificing for this kind of man? He doesn't even seem to have the ability to support himself." I began to hate Yu Wuguo. You Ying sighed: "Women always feel that their men are worth sacrificing for them, but other women's men are not worth sacrificing for them." "Of course!" I laughed. "Chang Dahai seems to be dating another woman." You Ying said bitterly. "How did you find out?" "It's just a feeling, no proof yet." I thought of the woman who called Chang Haihai on her mobile phone. "Didn't you borrow Chang Dahai's mobile phone for me on the first day I moved into the new house? A woman called him at night." "Why didn't you tell me earlier?" You Ying was very nervous. "The woman didn't say anything. I think she and Dahai may be just friends or that woman is his guest." "Maybe it's the woman. What's her voice like?" "It's very beautiful, I seem to have heard it somewhere." "Where did you hear it?" You Ying asked me. "I don't remember." I said. "Is that Oli Huahu?" "Certainly not, do you suspect it's her?" "I used to doubt her, but it doesn't feel like her. Dahai doesn't like this kind of woman." "Don't doubt the sea, men don't like being doubted by women." "So he doesn't know I suspect." "Yes! You are amazing!" I suddenly remembered what Chang Dahai said to me at lunch that time, "Not only does he not think that you don't trust him, but he also thinks that you are not nervous about him at all!" You Ying smiled wryly: "If only I were like Xu Yu." "Like her?" "Love is so relentless." "Yes, she is lovely." I don't think there is any problem with the love between Xu Yu and Yu Wuguo. Xu Yu has paid too much. If Yu Wuguo changes her mind, she will suffer a heavy loss.However, the pair of You Ying and Chang Dahai seems to have a bigger problem. "Every love is riddled with holes." I said. "The love between you and Vincent Tang may be the most perfect among the three of us." You Ying said. "why?" "Being able to break up when the relationship is the best is the best." "I don't want to," I said. "I thought no one could do it, but you did it," You Ying said. "Yes. Every time I regret breaking up with him and want to go back to him, I comfort myself that it is best for me to break up with him now." I took the minibus home with You Ying, and the driver turned on the radio. I don't know which radio station it was, and it was playing an English pop song program. The host's voice was very pleasant, as if I had heard it somewhere. "That's the voice!" I grabbed You Ying's sleeve. "Is it this voice?" You Ying was a little at a loss, the appearance of this voice just confirmed her guess that there was a third party in Chang Dahai that was about to come to light. "I've heard this voice on the radio before, and her voice is so deep that it's very fatherly." I said. "Are you sure it's her?" Now I'm not sure, I've only heard her voice once on the phone, although it's very special, and the two voices are very similar, but I can't say it must be her. "It's very similar, but I'm not sure." "Driver, which channel are you listening to now?" You Ying asked the minibus driver. "How do I know? Listen to whichever station is clear." The driver said. You Ying stepped forward to see the radio display. "Which station is it?" I asked her. You Ying looked at her watch and said, "It's 10:05, and she's on the evening show." "Even if it was this woman who called Chang Dahai, it doesn't mean she has any unusual relationship with Dahai." I said. "I want to investigate. I want to see what this woman looks like. Are you free at this time tomorrow?" "You want to find her on the radio?" After get off work the next day, You Ying came to see me. "I got home at 10:40 last night." She said, "Chang Dahai is listening to the program hosted by that woman." "It might just be a coincidence," I said. "Let's go to the radio station tonight." You Ying said. "What are you doing there?" I tried to figure out her motives. It turned out that You Ying was just standing outside the radio station waiting for the woman to come out. "We're like fans waiting outside a radio station for an autograph," I said. You Ying pulled me to a short tree and said, "Standing here is not afraid of being seen. If Chang Dahai comes to pick her up from get off work, they won't find me." "If you really saw Chang Dahai coming to pick her up from get off work, what would you do?" "I don't know either." You Ying was at a loss. "If I were you, I wouldn't come." "why?" "I'm afraid to see a man I like fall in love with another woman," I said. "She's out!" You Ying pointed to the door of the radio station. A tall, short-haired woman in a black bustier top, leather jacket, and jeans came out of the station. "Wow! Thirty-four C!" I could tell her bust size at a glance. Her figure was very average, and her breasts were soup bowl-shaped, the most beautiful one. "Thirty-four C." You Ying seemed to be hit hard. "There are so many people on the radio station, it doesn't have to be her." I said. "Go up and ask." You Ying begged me. The woman was waiting for a taxi, and I went up to her and said: "I am your loyal listener, and I like listening to your program very much." The woman was a little stunned at first, but soon smiled. She probably has never seen an infatuated listener who is still waiting for her idol at the entrance of the radio station at such an age. "Thank you, are you still here so late?" I recognized her voice, it was this voice, and You Ying was waiting for my reply on the opposite side. A taxi pulled up in front of me and this woman. "Goodbye." She boarded the taxi. My pager rang, and it was Xu Yu looking for me. "How is it? Is it her?" You Ying asked me as she came across the road. I nod. You Ying stopped a taxi. "Where are you going?" I asked her. "Follow her." You Ying pulled me into the car. I called Xu Yu on Youying's mobile phone. "Zhou Rui, where are you?" Xu Yu seemed to want to meet me very much. "I'm in the taxi with You Ying." "I want to meet you, I'm here to find you." Xu Yu said. "Don't hang up." I told Xu Yu. The woman's taxi headed towards Tsim Sha Tsui and stopped in front of an all-night convenience store in Lock Road. "Seventy-one class in Le Dao." I told Xu Yu. The woman walked into the convenience store, paid for a cup noodle and a bottle of beer, and ate it in the store.You Ying and I stood outside the shop to monitor her. Suddenly someone caught You Ying and me from behind, we were so frightened that we screamed at the same time, it turned out to be Xu Yu. "How did you come so soon?" I was surprised. "I'm nearby." Xu Yu said, "What are you doing here?" "Shh!" I motioned her to keep quiet. The woman finished her cup noodles, drank a bottle of beer, and came out of the convenience store. We followed her and she walked to a nearby building, where she should live. "Who is she?" Xu Yu asked us. "Chang Dahai didn't show up!" I said to You Ying. "Can you drink with me?" Xu Yu begged us. "Today is my first day at work!" Only then did I notice that she was wearing heavy makeup, a wild curly perm, a vest, a miniskirt, and a leather coat. Xu Yu suddenly covered his face and cried bitterly: "It's hard work!" "Let's find a place to drink!" You Ying said supporting Xu Yu. We found a bar nearby and sat down.I'm sorry, I didn't care about Xu Yu, I didn't know that she had taken over the porn CD and started shooting today. "What's the matter?" You Ying asked Xu Yu. "Did the director bully you and ask you to do things you don't want to do?" I asked Xu Yu. Xu Yu wiped away his tears, looked at You Ying and me, suddenly felt a sore nose, and fell down on the table and cried again. "What happened?" You Ying asked Xu Yu. "Do you know how it feels to take off your clothes in front of others? And in front of a few strange men." Xu Yu choked up. "I told you not to shoot." I was sad. "I'll get used to it soon." Xu Yu said wiping away tears. "Do you think what you paid today is worth it? Will you be rewarded in the future?" I asked her angrily. "I've never loved a man so much." Xu Yu gritted his teeth and said, "His happiness is my happiness." "But does he know you are crying?" I asked Xu Yu. "Why do you want him to know that I cry? The publishing house will open tomorrow. Yu Wuguo and his partner are now managing everything in the new office. He finally has his own business. Why should I let him see me cry?" I have nothing to say, I thought I was great, but it turns out that Xu Yu is much greater than me, she can undress in front of other men in order to cultivate a man, I absolutely can't do it, maybe it's not that I can't do it, but But I have never encountered such an "opportunity" to sacrifice for my lover. "Why did you follow that woman just now?" Xu Yu asked us. I told Xu Yu the story of that woman. "There is no evidence to prove that she is the third party!" Xu Yu took You Ying's hand to comfort her. "She's thirty-four C, isn't she?" You Ying asked me. "According to my professional judgment, it should be this size." I said, "Chang Dahai won't empathize with 34C, right?" "I know he's going to find a woman with big breasts sooner or later." "Thirty-four C is not very big." Xu Yu said. "You are prettier than that woman." I told You Ying. "Really?" You Ying seemed to have lost all confidence. "If you don't believe me, you can ask Xu Yu." Xu Yu nodded and said, "I always thought you were pretty." "Thank you." You Ying smiled wryly. "Hasn't Chang Dahai ever praised you?" Xu Yu asked her. "Yes. But no matter how beautiful a woman is, she will become ordinary in the eyes of a man after a long time." "Will you go back and interrogate Chang Dahai?" Xu Yu asked her. "No." I said, "You Ying won't even say that she loves him, so how can she interrogate him?" "If Yu Wuguo has a third party, I will kill him." Xu Yu gritted his teeth and said. "You are a person who is very afraid of losing." I said to You Ying. "Who is not afraid of losing?" You Ying asked me. "You're too scared to give yourself a chance to lose," I said. "If Chang Dahai was really with her, what would you do?" Xu Yu asked her. "Let's go!" You Ying stood up and walked out of the bar. The sky outside the bar is desolate and lonely. Xu Yu loses his dignity for 300,000 yuan. You Ying may lose Chang Dahai. I have already lost Tang Wensen. When I got home, I tossed and turned in bed.You Ying has not changed since she was a child, she is too strong.Sometimes I suspect that being too strong is also a kind of weakness.I removed the "Snow Castle Sky" in front of the window, the pedestrian elevator has stopped working, and there are still a few people climbing up the stairs.I often fantasize that one day I will find a pair of familiar feet here. They are Sen. As Sen walks by my window, I will immediately reach out and grab one of his legs. If fate arranges this way, I will not do it again let him go.I would never mistake his feet, and he would never mistake my hands.It's just that he is unlikely to pass by here. Although he lives on Conduit Road, he seems to have never walked through this pedestrian elevator.I turned "Snow Castle's Sky" upside down, facing out of the window. If one day, Sen happens to walk this way and notices this window, he will know that I live in the window, or he will knock on it. Knock on this window. "Will you go to the radio station to wait for that woman tonight?" I asked You Ying. "You used to be a third party, right? Tang Wensen's wife must be like me too?" You Ying said. "I never wondered what she would think," I said. "She must hate you very much. The third party is hateful." I was a little embarrassed, You Ying seemed to point the finger at me. "Try to be a third party once, the third party is not necessarily so hateful, the most hateful thing is God's will." I said. "Are you going to the radio station tonight?" I asked her. "Of course!" she said. The female disc jockey's name was Tu Li, and You Ying found out by calling the radio station. You Ying and I arrived at the gate of the radio station at 10:50, and Tu Li left the radio station at 11:05 and got into a taxi. Like yesterday, she got off at 71 in Lock Road, Tsim Sha Tsui, and went to Eat a little inside and go home. "Maybe it's really not her." I told You Ying. On the third night, You Ying came to pick me up in Chang Dahai's convertible. "Driving to the station today?" I asked her. "Get in the car!" she said, "I want to know the truth as soon as possible." At 10:30, You Ying parked the car outside the radio station. The weather was very bad that night, with thunderstorms non-stop. "Chang Dahai won't appear, right? The weather is so bad, and he has never appeared here before." I said. I regret that I recognized Tu Li's voice. If it wasn't like this, You Ying wouldn't doubt her. If you can't find Tu Li, You Ying won't doubt Dahai anymore. If Dahai is really with Tu Li, he and You Ying It must be over. At ten fifty, You Ying said to me, "Sit in the back." I climbed from the front seat to the back seat. "Can you lie down?" she said. I leaned over the back seat. We have been listening to Tu Li hosting the show, and this evening, she played a lot of love songs.The last song turned out to be "I will wait for you". I haven't dared to listen to this song for a long time. I didn't expect to hear it at this moment. Is Tu Li also waiting for someone?Whether intellectually or emotionally, I should sympathize with You Ying, but I don't want Tu Li to be exposed. I silently pray that she will not leave this door. After the last song was played, You Ying drove the car forward and parked just under a tree. She turned on the low light, turned up her collar, and hid her long hair under the coat. I leaned on the back seat and couldn't see the situation at the entrance of the radio station, nor the time displayed on the watch. After "I will wait for you" was broadcast, there was a dead silence in the car. After about fifteen minutes, a woman suddenly Open the door and get in the car. "Why didn't you tell me that you would come to pick me up?" the woman said to You Ying. It was Tu Li's voice. She stepped into Chang Dahai's car and said such a sentence. Tu Li soon discovered that it was not Chang Dahai but a woman sitting in the driver's seat.I was very embarrassed lying on the back seat, I didn't know whether I should get up or continue to lie down. "Sorry!" Tu Li turned around and wanted to get out of the car. "It's raining so heavily, I'll take you home." You Ying stepped on the accelerator and drove away. "Who are you?" Tu Li asked You Ying. I got up from the back seat, startling Tu Li. "What do you want?" She was clearly terrified. "Don't worry, it's not kidnapping." You Ying said to her. You Ying's behavior is almost kidnapping, she is really crazy. "I am lawyer Chang Dahai's girlfriend." You Ying said. Tu Li became silent, as if she was no longer afraid. You Ying drove the car to a secluded place and stopped. "How long has it been since?" You Ying asked her. "You should ask Chang Dahai." Tu Li acquiesced. "What stage has it reached?" You Ying asked her. Tu Li laughed a few times: "What stage has it reached? He and I are not children." "Does he love you?" Unexpectedly, You Ying asked Tu Li like this. "I won't be with a man who doesn't love me." Tu Li said, "If I hurt you, I'm sorry." "You are not qualified to say sorry to me!" You Ying said coldly, "Please get out of the car!" "You said you would take me home." "Don't even think about it!" You Ying pushed her out of the car. Tu Li was pushed to the edge of the ditch. "I should have covered my face just now," I said. "If she goes to the police, we'll go to jail." You Ying was crying while driving, and it was the first time I saw her cry after the reunion. I wiped her tears with a tissue: "Don't cry, you should listen to Chang Dahai's explanation, maybe it's just wishful thinking of Tu Li." "I'm sure they had sex," You Ying said. I have nothing to say. You Ying sent me home. "Goodbye," she said to me. "Don't be stupid!" I said. The bed hadn't been made yet, and I was sleeping on the floor. At four o'clock in the morning, You Ying called. "Zhou Rui, if you had to choose between a happy life and a stable life, which would you choose?" You Ying asked me. "A stable life can also be very happy," I said. "You can only choose one." "I have chosen to be happy, so my life is not stable now." I smiled wryly. "Oh." She responded. "Are you okay?" I asked her, "What did Chang Dahai say?" "He admitted it. The woman called and told him before I got back." "Are you going?" "I don't know. It's been seven years. The man who has been sleeping next to me for seven years actually cheated me. I thought I would marry him." "How did he say?" "He proposed to me." "Proposal?" "I will choose happiness just like you." You Ying hung up. I don't quite understand what she means, is that yes or no?I lie on the ground, if I am stable and happy, I will choose to be happy, although there is a kind of happiness that makes people very tired. Every few days, I go to the ATM to check the account, and I know that Sen still hasn't cashed the check. I know he really loved me. In the early morning, I seemed to hear someone knocking on the door. I got up, but there was no one outside the house. It turned out that it was not knocking on the door, but someone knocking on the window. Was it Sen?Did he see the jigsaw puzzle in front of the window?I took away the jigsaw puzzle, and You Ying squatted on the overpass. "Have you not woken up yet?" She asked me with a smile, "I bought breakfast." You Ying walked in through the gate, and she bought deep-fried dough sticks, fried rice and soybean milk. "Eat it while it's hot!" she said. "Did you promise him?" I asked her. "I refused." You Ying said. "Why? Didn't you always want him to propose to you?" "I hope he wants to stay with me for the rest of his life because he loves me. He proposes to me now because of guilt." "Can't you forgive him?" You Ying looked at me for a long time and said, "I can't." "Does he love that woman?" "I don't know, but he doesn't love me anymore. He proposes marriage now, but for the sake of morality, after starting to prepare for the wedding, he will regret it. At that time, we will all hate each other. I don't need charity." "Don't you think it's a pity? To be honest, he has a good condition. You have been guarding him for seven years, and it's not worth it." "On the floor we live in now, there are two people's names written on the deed, and he promised to give me half of his property rights." "Will you accept it?" "I can't think of any reason to refuse. I won't be as generous as you. I have given. Seven years is not a short period of time for a woman. Since he is willing to give it to me, why should I not?" "He is willing to give you half of the property right out of guilt! Didn't you say that you don't need charity?" "It's not charity. I deserve it. But marriage is different. If you want to live together in the future and feel that you are being handed out all the time, it will be very painful." "Why don't you give him one more chance? You're just finding out for the first time that he's having an affair." You Ying put down a bowl of soy milk and said, "Some people like to play three games to win two games, but I like to play one game to win." "You are the strongest woman I know." "Although my bust is only 32 A, my stubbornness is 36 FF." You Ying said with a smile. "Will Chang Dahai move out?" "He will find a new house." You Ying stood up, "I'm going to work." As I expected, Chang Dahai came to see me the next day. Chang Dahai and I made an appointment to meet in a coffee shop.He was always neatly dressed, but when he appeared, his hair was a bit messy, and there were some red wine stains on the collar of his coat, maybe he didn't mind it either.You Ying seems to be more open-minded than him. "Have you found a house yet?" I asked him. "I'm going to live with Tu Li for the time being, and I don't have the money to pay the down payment." He said frankly. "You Ying will be very sad if you know it." "It was she who proposed to break up." "Men are so irresponsible, you got the third party first! You still move to live with that woman now?" I blamed him. "I'm an unloved man!" he said despondently. "You have two women, and you still say no one loves you?" I shook my head. "I often don't feel that You Ying loves me. Maybe she loves me, but she doesn't need me." Chang Dahai said. I suddenly found it funny, Chang Dahai and You Ying seemed to have switched personalities, Chang Dahai was a woman and You Ying was a man.Only a woman should feel loved and needed all the time. "She loves you, she loves you," I said, "and she needs you." "She never said that." "Have you? Have you ever said that you love her?" I asked him back. "I told her the night before, and she didn't believe it." "Too late," I said. "Yes, it's too late." Chang Dahai rubbed his face and hair with both hands. "How long have you been with that woman?" I asked him.This question is based on curiosity. "About a month!" He gave up a seven-year relationship for a one-month relationship. You Ying must be very sad to know.A woman's seven years turned out to be worthless. Chang Dahai moved out after three days, and the seven-year relationship ended in three days.But three weeks after Chang Dahai moved away, You Ying quietly went to court to listen to his case. This is an emotional dispute. A man and a woman who have lived together for 14 years broke up. The two bought a floor of a building in a joint venture eight years ago. The man paid the down payment, and the house deed stated that the woman was the legal owner.After the breakup, the man asked to sell the unit to get the benefits he deserved, while the woman insisted that she owns the title, and the two parties went to court.Chang Dahai is the lawyer representing the man. One day more than seven years ago, You Ying saw Chang Dahai eloquent in court, and fell in love with him ever since.At that time, Chang Dahai was just a fledgling young lawyer who pretended to be calm.For seven years, she did not go to court to hear him argue.Today, seven years later, she broke up with Chang Dahai, but she really wanted to hear him argue for the last time. Chang Dahai did not notice her, and You Ying sat in the last row. Chang Dahai told her that the case was not sure of winning. He had discussed with the opposing lawyer and asked the two parties to settle out of court, but they refused. , He insisted on putting the other party to death. You Ying saw that man, he was wearing a suit, a pair of gold-rimmed glasses, and he looked gentle. It's up to you. There were only a dozen people sitting sparsely in the courtroom, and one or two seemed to be reporters, constantly copying notes.When Chang Dahai spoke, he stood up and said: "Your Honor, as the attorney representing the plaintiff, I feel very conflicted. A couple who lived together for 14 years and once loved each other deeply turned against each other. If money can be exchanged for a 14-year love, I think everyone Some people would rather trade for love. Whether it is fourteen years, or half of fourteen years, it is a long time, and it is too difficult to destroy it with your own hands. I think the person who is willing to give up what is shared first is The one who loves deeply between the two, but my client and the defendant seem to love too little..." Having shed her first tear after breaking up, in half of the fourteen years, she had never heard Chang Dahai speak so affectionately. The judge ruled that the plaintiff was right, that the building was to be sold, and the proceeds would be shared equally between the plaintiff and the litigants.In other words, Chang Dahai won the lawsuit. You Ying left the court after hearing the judge's verdict. She didn't want Chang Dahai to know that she was in the court.It was a year ago that Chang Dahai took over the case. At that time, You Ying asked him what he would do if the same thing happened to them one day.Chang Dahai laughed and said: "That man is too stupid. The woman's name is written on the deed. The deed of our house is in the names of two people. Everyone will take 50%. There is no need to fight." Now, he handed over half of the property to her.He told the court that the one who was willing to first give up something that was shared was the one who loved more of the two.Why does he love other people when he loves deeply?Is that because he doesn't get the same amount of love? You Ying told me all this afterwards.I stayed with her at her house, and Chang Dahai still had some clothes that he didn't take away. "Maybe he left it on purpose," I said, "then he can find an excuse to come back another day." "He won't, he has handed in his resignation letter." You Ying said. "He's going to resign?" I was stunned. "Because I'm resigning, he resigned before me, we can't work together anymore, I can't stand it." "Chang Dahai said that the one who is willing to give up what is shared first is the one who loves more deeply. Now he has given up two things—this house and his job." I said. "It was he who changed his mind first, but now it seems that I am ruthless." "I sold the house, and Sen refused to take back the money. We all love him deeply." I lay on the bed contentedly. You Ying stood up and said, "I hope I have the courage to give up first." Someone rings the doorbell. "Isn't it Chang Hai?" I said. It's Xu Yu and Yu's fault when You Ying goes to open the door. "I sent her here. I won't attend the party of the three of you." Yu Wuguo declared. "Sit down for a while, if you don't mind the smell of broken love in this room." You Ying went to pour two glasses of soda out. "How is your publishing house doing?" I asked Yu Wu Guo. "Very good, I have obtained the copyrights of several Japanese comic books, and it is all thanks to you and You Ying to lend us money." Yu Wuguo said. Xu Yu winked at me. “不要紧，不要紧。”我说。 “宇无过的新书下个月出版了。”徐玉说，“他花了一星期就写好。” “这么快？”我吃惊。 “这本书是写得比较快。我约了人，我要先走了，你们慢慢谈。”宇无过告辞。 “那只光盘拍完了吗？”我问徐玉。 “昨天煞科。”她松一口气。 “恭喜你。”游颍跟徐玉说。 我说不出类似“恭喜”这种字眼，她毕竟是出卖了自尊来成全她的男人。 “我找到了一份工作。”徐玉说。 “什么工作？”我问她。 “是在模特儿公司上班的，负责招聘模特儿。我这几年都没有一份正正式式的工作，是时候安定下来了，做模特儿毕竟不是长远的。” “你好象突然成熟了。”我忍不住说。 “是啊！就是因为拍了这只光盘。”徐玉说。 “为什么？”游颍问她。 “我突然觉得自己老了。”徐玉苦涩地笑。 虽然她不说，但拍那只光盘的过程里，她必然失去了很多尊严。 宇无过最新的一本科幻小说叫做《魔钟》，小说很受欢迎，我好几次在地铁车厢内也见到有人阅读这本小说。徐玉送了一本给我，我花了一个晚上阅读，我还是第一次可以从头到尾看完一部科幻小说，《魔钟》的情节的确吸引，宇无过这一次吐气扬眉了。 好象魔术一样，宇无过一炮而红，《魔钟》不断加印，连带宇无过的旧书也销量大增，有几份杂志访问他，指他是新一代最有潜质的科幻小说家。徐玉总算脱得有价值。 宇无过请我和游颍在一间中东餐厅吃饭，说是要酬谢我们，如果不是我和游颍合共借出三十万，他就搞不成出版社，也出不成书。 出乎我意料之外，宇无过并没有表现得太兴奋，最兴奋的是徐玉。 “那本书我看了十次，一次比一次好看。”徐玉说。 “我介绍了很多同事看，他们也说好看，我推销有功啊！”游颍俏皮地说。 “什么时候会有新书？”我问宇无过。 “还没有想到新的题材。”宇无过说。 徐玉握者宇无过的手说：“有电影公司想把《魔钟》拍成电影呢！” 宇无过好象还不是太兴奋，也许他奋斗得太久了，成功已不会令他突然改变，这也是好的，他至少不会因为成名而变心。 “我相信不须多久就可以把钱还给你们。”宇无过说。 “好啊！我会收下的啊！”我笑说。 游颍附和：“是啊！” 徐玉瞟了我们一眼。 如果时间安排得好一点，宇无过能够早一点写出《魔钟》，徐玉也用不着脱，现在纵使有钱也买不回那只光盘。 不幸的事终于发生，宇无过无意中在一个玩电脑的新朋友的家里看到徐玉主演的那只光盘。他终于知道那三十万是怎样来的。 徐玉否认光盘里的女主角是她，但她骗不到宇无过，宇无过收拾行李走了。徐玉哭得呼天抢地，打电话给我说要自杀，我立即走上她的家。 “我传呼他跟他说清楚。”我说，“你这样做也是为了他。” “你不会覆电话的。”徐玉哭着说。 “他会在什么地方。会不会在出版社？我去找他。” "I have no idea." 我打电话叫游颍上来，由她照顾徐玉，我试试去出版社找宇无过。 出版社的门锁上，我按门铃，没有人应门，里面也没有光线，宇无过可能没有回来。我正想走的时候，听到里面有传呼机响声，一定是传呼台追他覆机。 我大力拍门，他还是装着听不见。 “宇无过，我知道你在里面的，徐玉嚷着要死，如果你是男人，请你立即开门。” 他充耳不闻，我气得使劲地用脚踢门。 “宇无过，你出来！” 宇无过依然在里面无动于衷。我忍不住对他破口大骂： “你觉得自己女朋友脱光衣服拍片，令你很没面子是不是？她为什么要这样做？她是为了谁？还不是因为你要三十万元搞出版社！你知道一个女人要脱光衣服是一件多么难堪的事吗？如果不是因为爱情，她才不会这样做！你这个人，自私到不得了，只顾着自己，永远在发梦，可怜你的女人却要不断为你的美梦付上代价——” 宇无过依然躲在里面不理我，我唯有走。回去见到徐玉，我不知怎样开口，但总要回去交代。 游颍开门给我。 “找到他吗？”游颍问我。 徐玉期待着我开口，我不知道怎样说。 “怎么样？他是不是在那里？”游颍追问我。 I nod. “他不会原谅我的，有多少男人可以忍受自己的女朋友做这些事。”徐玉哽咽。 “他不回来，你也不要爱他。”游颍说，“有多少个女人肯为男人做这些事？” “对，如果他不回来，他也不值得你爱。”我说。 “我去找他。”徐玉站起来，走到浴室洗了一个脸。 “我们陪你去。”游颍说。 “不用了，我自己的事我自己解决。” 徐玉撇下我们自己出去。 她在宇无过的出版社门外站了一晚，宇无过终于开门出来，两个人抱头痛哭。 这是徐玉事后告诉我的。 她幸福地说这是一个考验，让她知道他们大家都深爱着对方。 事情没有这么简单，他们经过一个考验，还有另一个考验，有一个人走出来公开指责宇无过的《魔钟》是抄袭他的小说的，并申请禁制令禁止小说继续发售。 “他不会抄袭的。”徐玉激动地说。 但那个叫麦擎天的人已聘请律师控告宇无过侵犯版权。 我不太相信宇无过抄袭别人的小说，但事情若非是真的，那个人为什么要控告他？ 徐玉找游颍介绍律师，游颍推荐了一个比较熟悉版权法的律师。律师费并不便宜，《魔钟》又不能继续发售，宇无过哪来钱跟人打官司？难道又要徐玉脱衣？ “宇无过怎样说？”我问她。 “他当然没有抄袭，根本没有这个需要。”徐玉激动地说。 “尹律师说那边有证据证明，麦擎天去年投稿到宇无过工作的报馆，小说内容跟宇无过写的《魔钟》几乎一样，只是有部分内容不同。”游颍说。 “既然是去年投稿，宇无过为什么等到今天才抄袭？不合理。”徐玉说。 “那个麦擎天也把同一本小说拿去一间出版社，是今年年初的事，那间出版社没打算出版，但原稿一直放在出版社，他们可以证明。那就是说，在宇无过的新书还没出版前，麦擎天的小说已经存在。”游颍说。 “游颍，你这样说是什么意思！你是说宇无过抄袭？”徐玉很愤怒。 “游颍不是这个意思。”我连忙说好话。 “我是想告诉你，这宗官司宇无过不一定嬴。”游颍有点尴尬。 “那我就换律师，对不起，我先走！”徐玉拂袖而去。 “你为什么这样说？”我怪责游颍。 “如果宇无过真的抄袭别人，那这场官司就不会嬴，何必白白浪费律师费？你和我都知道这笔钱是要徐玉拿出来的。”游颍说。 我想起宇无过在美国写给徐玉的信，提起蜂鸟。他是有才华的，为什么要抄袭？ 晚上，我去找徐玉。我本想约她出来吃饭，她说不想上街。 “宇无过呢？”我问她。 “他出去了。” “你不要怪游颍。”我说。 “那个尹律师不应该把事情告诉她呀！我们打算换律师。”徐玉仍然没有原谅游颍。 “宇无过怎样说？” “他心情坏透了。周蕊，你相信宇无过抄袭别人的作品吗？” 我不知道怎样回答徐玉，我认为事情不是那么简单。 “连你也不相信他？”徐玉很激动。 “我相信。”我不想令徐玉不高兴。 “不，只有我相信他。” “如果证实宇无过是抄袭，你会怎样做？” “我会离开他。”徐玉说。 “不至于这么严重吧？” “除非他现在跟我说真话。” 这时宇无过喝得醉醺醺回来。 “你为什么喝酒？”徐玉连忙扶着他。 我帮忙把宇无过扶到沙发上，徐玉替他脱鞋。 “他从来不喝酒的。”徐玉蹲在他跟前，怜惜地抚摸他的脸。 “我去拿热毛巾。”我说。 我走进浴室用热水浸好一条毛巾，飞快拿着毛巾走出来，徐玉和宇无过竟然相拥在沙发上，我把毛巾放在茶几上，悄悄离开。 第二天中午，徐玉打电话给我说：“他什么都告诉我了。能够出来见面吗？” 她的声音很沮丧，她要告诉我的，也许不是好消息。 下班后，徐玉和我在商场的咖啡室见面，今天的天气很冷，天文台说只有摄氏六度，我要了一杯热咖啡。 “冷死人了。”我脱下手套说。 徐玉的鼻子也冷得红通通的。 “他承认他的小说是抄袭别人的。”徐玉绝望地说。 “为什么？他应该知道这种事早晚会被人揭发的。” “他说压力太大，他竟然没想过会给人揭发。” “现在怎么办？” “那是他的事了，他要赔偿或要庭外和解都不关我的事，我要跟他分手。”徐玉坚决地说。 “你在这个时候离开他？”我没想到徐玉那么决绝。 “我说过如果证实他抄袭别人的作品，我会离开他。” “你不必为这一个承诺而强迫自己离开他。” “不，我可以为他死，为他出卖尊严，但不可以忍受他是一个骗子。” “你说过他现在说真话的话，你会原谅他。” “我现在改变主意了。” “你不是很爱他的吗？” “我是很爱他，很相信他，相信他的才华，就为了让他一展才华，所以我才去拍那只光盘，但今天早上，我突然发现，这一切原来是假的，他可以欺骗所有人，但不应该欺骗我。” 不久之前，她在出版社门外站了一个晚上等宇无过出来，她是那样爱他。一夜之间，却变成一潭死水。唯一可以解释的，是她过去太崇拜宇无过，而这个信仰在一息间完全崩溃，她接受不来，由极爱变成极厌恶。 “你可以陪我回去收拾东西吗？”徐玉问我。 我陪徐玉回去她跟宇无过同住的家。 “你真的要搬走？”我在进门之前问她。 徐玉点头，掏出钥匙开门。 屋内只有一盏灯亮着，宇无过坐在厅中，没精打采。 “我回来收拾东西。”徐玉径自走入房。 我尴尬地站着，不知道应该去帮忙徐玉还是安慰宇无过。 “你去叫她不要走，她会听你的。”我跟宇无过说。 宇无过摇头：“没用的。” “你没有试过怎么知道？” 宇无过抬头跟我说：“是不是很荒谬？我没想过会给人揭发的，就好象那些服用类固醇的奥运选手那样，竟没想过会给人揭发，只想到胜利。我在报馆工作时收到那个人的小说，看了一遍，双手在抖颤，为什么我写不到？那时我没打算抄袭他的，我去了美国，又从美国回来，再写一本书，还是不行，偶然在抽屉里发现那个人的小说，我想或许不会有人知道——” “你根本用不着这样做。”我说。 “我等得实在不耐烦了，我要成功，那本书真的成功了，比我任何一本书都成功，但我并不快乐，其实我并不想它成功，它的成功证实我失败。” 我明白他那时为什么对新书的成功一点也不雀跃。 “如果那本书不成功就不会有事。”宇无过苦笑，“至少徐玉不会离开我。” “你就眼巴巴看着他走？” “是我辜负了她，如果我知道开出版社和出版这本书的三十万是她用那个方法赚回来的，我一定不会抄袭别人的作品。若我是她，也不会原谅我自己。”宇无过站起来。 "where are you going?" “我不能看着她走。”他自己走了。 “周蕊，你来帮帮我。”徐玉在睡房里叫我。 我走进睡房，告诉徐玉：“他出去了。” 徐玉把几件衣服塞进一个手提袋里。 “你要去哪里？”我问她。 “回家，回去我自己的家，跟我爸爸妈妈住。” 徐玉掏出一串钥匙，放在茶几上。 “你真的想清楚？”我问她。 “他是骗子。”徐玉含泪扑在我的肩膊上。 “我知道。”我拍着她的肩膊安慰她。 “在我改变主意之前，快点离开。”她提起行李，又突然想起什么似的，“等一会。” 徐玉走出露台，在晒衣架上摘下一个粉橙色的喱士胸围，是我卖给她的。 “忘了这个。”她把胸围塞在手提袋里。 我送徐玉回家，她妈妈对于她突然回家感到有些意外，但她已经见惯不怪，徐玉也不是头一次从同居的男朋友家中搬回来，只是这一次，她离开得太久了，大家没想到她会回来。 “代我向游颍说声对不起。”徐玉送我离开时叮嘱我。 傍晚的气温好象比黄昏时更低，我在街上等计程车等了差不多十五分钟，冷得浑身发抖，鼻水不断淌下来。这种天气，怎么可以没有男人？真是失败！如果让森抱着，一定很暖。 回到自己家里，我匆匆弄了一碗热腾腾的汤面，吃了两口，觉得味道怪怪的，原来那一包面已经过期半年。 我听到有人敲窗的声音，难道是游颍？我挪开那幅砌图，站在窗外的竟是唐文森，摄氏只有六度的气温下，他穿着大衣站在窗外。 事情发生得太突然了，我不知道应该打开窗还是用砌图挡着那一扇窗。森在窗外等我的回音，我看到他给冷风吹得抖颤，不忍心要他站在窗外，我打开那一扇窗。 “我经过这里，看到这幅砌图，原来你真是住在这里。”他高声在窗外跟我说，口里冒着白烟。 我把砌图放在窗外，犹如把一个钱币掷入许愿泉里，我日夕企盼的，是他偶然有一天在窗外经过，看到这一幅他为我砌的“雪堡的天空”，知道我住在里面，然后敲我的窗，就是这样罢了。这一刻愿望成真，令人难以置信，我却不知道应不应该让他进来。 “我可以进来吗？”他问我。 他瑟缩在风里，恳求我接纳他。我想他抱我的时候，他竟然真的出现。 “是二楼B座。”我告诉他。 我站在屋外等森，他上来了。 “进来坐。”我跟他说。 “你就住在这里？地方太不象样了。”他好象认为我受了很大委屈。 “这是我所能负担的。”我说。 “外面很冷。”他拉着我的手。 他的手很冷，一直冷到我心里去。 “我去倒一杯热茶给你。”我松开他的手。 “谢谢你。”他说。 我们之间已经很久没有跟对方说过“谢谢”这两个字了，这两个字在这一刻变得很理所当然而又陌生。 我倒了一杯热茶给他。 “你怎会走这条天桥的？”我问他。 “我从来没有用过这条行人电梯，今天晚上突然心血来潮，想不到……真是巧合。我看到这幅砌图时，还以为自己在做梦。” “你好吗？”我问他。 “你仍然挂着这条项链？”他看到我脖子上的项链。 “不要说了！”我突然有点激动。 “你不喜欢我来吗？”他内疚地问我。 “我好辛苦才摆脱你。”我说。 “我留给你的就只有痛苦吗？”他难过地说。 “带给你快乐的那个人，就是也能带给你痛苦的人。” 他望着我不说话。 “那张支票你为什么迟迟不拿去兑现？”我问他。 他打开钱包，拿出我写给他的那一张支票：“这张支票我一直带在身上，但我不会拿去兑现的，如果我这样做，我会看不起自己。” “那我会把这笔钱从银行拿出来送到你面前。” “我不会要。” “你不要的话，我会将这二百八十万拿去你公司要你替我投资一只风险最高的外币。”我赌气说。 “我一定可以替你赚到钱。”他说。 我给他气得发笑，他拉着我的手说：“我很挂念你。” “是吗？”我故意装出一副冷漠的样子。 “回到我身边好吗？”森抱着我，用他的大衣把我包裹着，我觉得很温暖。 “不要这样。”我推开他，“我回到你身边又怎样