Chapter 7 Chapter 6 I will always love you

I think about him all night. The next day, at the lingerie store, I couldn't work at all, and I missed him like crazy.He happened to pass by my window, that's fate, why should I lie to myself? In the afternoon, a Ms. Li who claimed to be an employee of Lvtian Garden called and said, "Is it Ms. Zhou Rui? I am here to inform you that the calf you sponsored was born." My sponsored calf? "I don't sponsor a calf," I told her. "Do you know Mr. Vincent Tang? He sponsored you." I decided to go to Lvtianyuan to have a look. The location is in Heshu. The next morning, I took the train there, which was a very distant place.Why did Sen sponsor a cow for me?

When I arrived at Lvtianyuan, that Miss Li showed me around. There were many cows there, and my newborn calf was suckling. "You can give it a name," she said. "What's going on?" I asked her. "Didn't Mr. Tang tell you? There are a lot of cattle in the New Territories. No one wants them when they are old. They wander on the road and are often knocked down by cars. We bought those cattle from farmers and let them plow the fields. But some cattle are not good. Those who know how to plow the fields, in order to raise them, we let the citizens sponsor them, so that the cattle no longer need to wander. After the launch of this plan, the response has been very good. There is a queue for sponsored cattle. In mid-October last year, Mr. Tang came to apply for a sponsored cattle , since all the cows have been sponsored, he wants to reserve the calf in the cow's belly. He said it is a birthday present for his girlfriend, and he will take her to see the pregnant cow on November 3rd. Niu, but you didn’t come that day, and then Mr. Tang called again and said that he would notify you when the calf was born.”

It turned out that Sen gave me a calf as a birthday present, no wonder he asked me to see it that day.I suddenly had feelings for the calf that was drinking milk, and squatted down to sweep its stomach with my hands. "And this piece of land is also yours." Miss Li pointed to a piece of land surrounded by bamboo poles in front of me, "You can grow vegetables." "Why did he send me this?" "He said he would give you a special birthday present. This birthday present is really special. This land is very suitable for growing melons and vegetables. Mr. Tang said that you are going to open a French restaurant. It is not very convenient to grow your own melons and vegetables. ?"

I named the calf Snow Castle. To love someone, you must hate him a little bit, and hating him makes you unable to leave him. Sen is the person I hate. Leaving the green field, the weather is still cold, but the sun is shining, and my heart is warm.Sen really thought about opening a restaurant with me.On the train, I was thinking about what kind of vegetables we should grow on that piece of arable land. If we can grow carrots, then even if our restaurant has not yet opened, we can sell it to Guo Sun to make carrot cakes. It was 3:30 in the afternoon when I returned to the underwear shop. I missed Sen very much. I no longer need to deny my love for him. One day, he will give me a title. Even if I can't wait, so what?I wanted to tell him that I had answers to his questions and that I loved him then, now, and always will.

I summoned up the courage to call him, but he didn't answer the phone. Thirty minutes, one hour, and two hours passed. I paged three times, but he still didn't answer me, and no one answered the office phone. why didn't he call me?Is he not talking to me anymore?He thought I didn't love him.No, he won't. After get off work, I came home, sat by the window, and I thought, maybe he will show up out of the blue.It was getting quieter and quieter outside the window, and it was past eleven o'clock in the evening. I called him again, but he still ignored me.He's not going to talk to me anymore.

I didn't sleep all night, and the next morning, he didn't call me. If the pager was broken, he should have called the pager to check. After get off work, I called the company to find him, and a man answered the phone. "I want to see Mr. Don Vincent." I said. "Looking for him?" The man's voice seemed to be a little questionable, "Which one are you?" "My surname is Zhou." I said. "Miss Zhou? My surname is Jiang, and I'm Mr. Tang's colleague. Shall we make an appointment to meet?" "What's going on?" I thought it was very unusual, "Did something happen to him?"

"Come out and talk, okay? Wait in the restaurant downstairs of our company. When will you arrive?" Jiang asked me. "I'll be there in five minutes," I said. I put down the phone and quickly closed the store. What happened to Sen?I heard him mention that Jiang Jiacong was his colleague and good friend. I hurried to the restaurant and a man waved to me. "Are you Miss Zhou?" He asked me. I nod. "Sit down, please," he said. "Where's Tang Vincent? What's the matter?" He hesitated to speak. "What the hell is going on?"

"Ah Tang is dead." I can't quite believe what I'm hearing. "He went back to work as usual after lunch yesterday. At about three o'clock, I found him lying on the desk, thinking he was dozing off. At four o'clock, I found him still lying on the desk. I patted him and found that he was unconscious. I immediately called the police, and the ambulance took him to the hospital. The doctor said that he was suffering from coronary heart disease, which was sudden, without any signs beforehand. He died on the way to the hospital. " "No, he asked you to lie to me. He was afraid that I would pester him! Did his wife send you here? I know he doesn't have a heart attack at all!" I scolded him.

"He died suddenly." "Impossible." I refused to believe it. "I don't want it to be true, but I saw him being carried out with my own eyes. When he was carried out, the pager on his body kept ringing. In our line of work, the psychological pressure is greater than anyone else. Forty I should retire at the age of 10." He was sad. "I don't believe you!" I cried. "It was also reported in the newspaper today, maybe you didn't pay attention." "Which newspaper is it?" He handed me a daily copy: "I know you won't believe it."

In an inconspicuous place on the news page, there is a photo of a man being carried out of the building on a stretcher by ambulancemen. A senior employee of a foreign exchange company died suddenly while working. The name of the deceased was Vincent Tang—— I can't shed a single tear. "A-Tang told me about you and him. He said before that if he has anything, he wants me to inform you. He is afraid that you will not know. He is a good man." Jiang Jiacong choked up. I can't cry, my Sen is dead, it's impossible, why did he treat me like this? I saw him outside the window, he was knocking on my window, knocking on my window in the cold, just a day ago.When he left, he also passed by my window, and he walked alive.

"Miss Zhou, may I take you back?" Jiang Jiacong asked me. "No need!" I tried to stand up, but fell to the ground. "Are you okay?" He helped me up. "I want to go home." "I'll take you back." I don't know how I got home. "This is my business card, you can find me if you have something to do." Jiang Jiacong put down his business card, "Do you want me to find your friends for you?" I shake my head. Sen died, and the last words he said to me before he died were "do you still love me?" Me, I think he promised to divorce me, I thought there was still a chance, I thought he would look for me again.I thought there was still tomorrow, if tomorrow doesn't come, there will be tomorrow... I really hate myself, why am I so cruel to him?He thought I didn't love him anymore, when he died he thought I didn't love him anymore, I'm too cruel, why didn't I keep him?When he was carried out, the pager kept ringing, it was me, I was calling him.It never occurred to me that we broke up like this.We couldn't have broken up like this, and he was coming back to me. Late at night, the phone at home rang, and I picked up the receiver. "Hello—who is it?" No sound came through the receiver. "who is it?" The other party didn't answer me. "Who is it?" I asked. I think it was Sen, he called me from somewhere. "I love you." I said into the receiver what I hadn't said to him yet. The man hung up. Am I dreaming or is Sen really calling me from somewhere? I held the phone, and the phone never rang again. At dawn, I called Jiang Jiacong. "I want to see him," he said. "This is a bit difficult. The body is in the mortuary." The first time I heard someone describe Sen as a "corpse", yes, a "corpse", and in just two days, he became a "corpse". "I need to see him, he called me last night," I said. "No?" He was taken aback. "Please think of a way." I begged him. "His family is preparing for the funeral next Wednesday." "Where?" "His wife will be in attendance. It's inconvenient if you show up in the mourning hall." "I'm going." I said. "How about it," said Jiang, "on the eve of the funeral, I'll find a space for you to see Ah Tang for the last time, okay?" What other options do I have? On Tuesday afternoon, I called Jiang Jiacong. "Is it possible to arrange for me to meet Sen?" I asked him. "At eight o'clock in the evening, wait downstairs in my company, okay?" he said. I have arrived at 7:15, I want to see Sen as soon as possible, I used to wait here for him, watched him come out, he will not appear in this place again. Jiang Jiacong came out at eight o'clock. "Let's find a place to sit," he said. "Why? Don't you go now?" He pondered for a while. "You can't get his wife out of here, can you?" "I'm sorry, Ah Tang was buried yesterday." I can not believe it. "You mean tomorrow!" "It was suddenly ahead of schedule." "Why didn't you tell me?" "Miss Zhou, Ah Tang's wife won't leave the mourning hall, and his family will be there too. Why do you have to go? You can't bear it." "So you lied to me on purpose! I shouldn't have believed you!" For the first time in my life, I felt so helpless that I couldn't see him for the last time.I don't even have this right, I'm a woman who has slept with him for five years! "Why did you lie to me?" I tugged on Jiang Jiacong's coat, I hated him to death. "Miss Zhou, I just don't want you to be sad. Ah Tang thinks the same way, right? People are dead, it doesn't matter if they see you or not. If something happens in the mourning hall, will Ah Tang go away in peace?" "Where is his grave? I beg you to tell me." I begged Jiang Jiacong, he was the only one who could help me. "He was cremated," he said. "Cremation? Why cremation?" They didn't even leave me a dead body. "Where are the ashes? Where are his ashes?" I asked Jiang Jiacong. "Put it at home." Jiang Jiacong said. at home?Wouldn't I never see Sen?No last side, no corpse, no ashes.He just disappeared like this, not letting me see it. "I'm sorry." Jiang Jiacong said to me. I ignored him. I shouldn't have trusted him long ago. If Sen was alive and knew that someone bullied me like this, he would definitely stand up for me. I go back to my previous home. Guo Sun came to open the door. "Miss Zhou, is that you? Are you okay? Your face is very bad. " "May I come inside?" "of course can." I went into the house, and it was the same as before.The bed where Sen and I slept was still there. I fell on the bed and crawled to the side where he often lay, trying to feel his residual warmth. "Can you sell me this house? I want to live here," I said. "this……" "How much are you going to sell it for? I can pay a better price, please!" I begged her. "Why are you doing this?" "I regret selling this house." "If you really want to do it, no problem." "real?" "I think you must have a reason." "I'll get you the money tomorrow. Can I sleep here tonight?" "Of course, I'm sleeping alone anyway." The next morning, I went to the bank to check how much money was in the account.My account is only 300 yuan.What about 2.8 million?Sen cashed that check?I went to the counter to check and the check was cashed yesterday. There was no way Sen could have cashed that check after his death. Who deposited that check into his account?I can't think of anyone else but his wife.She actually cashed that check after Mori died. "I have no money, so I can't buy this floor back." I called and told Guo Sun. I have nothing left but the field and Snow Castle the calf. I went to Greenfield to visit Snow Castle. "Have you thought about what kind of vegetables to grow?" that Miss Li asked me. I shake my head. "The seeds are about to be planted in spring," she said. spring?Spring seems far away.I hold Snowburg, who was born the night before Sen died.Sen left it to me when it was still in the womb, and it left the womb, but he was wiped out. I hold it tightly in my arms, it is the life Sen left me, it is alive, it has just come into this world.He gave me a gift of life on my birthday.Life and death, why come all at once? The pager on my body rang, startling Xuebao. It was Youying and Xu Yulun calling me, so I put down Xuebao and called Youying. "What happened? You didn't go to work these days, and you weren't at home. You didn't answer the phone when you were called. We thought you were missing. We are very worried about you." You Ying said. "Sen is dead." I said. "How did you die?" She couldn't believe it. "It has been cremated, and I won't see him for the last time." "Where are you?" "I'm counting cranes." "Where is that place? Don't go away, I will come to you immediately." I was sitting on the edge of the field with my snow castle in my arms. It was getting dark, and I saw two black shadows walking towards me. It was You Ying and Xu Yu, one after the other. "This place is hard to find." Xu Yu said. "How did Vincent Tang die?" You Ying asked me. I fell on You Ying's shoulder. I hate Don Vincent, he said he would never leave me, he lied.I haven't shed a tear yet, I hate him for lying. Two weeks later, I went back to work at the lingerie store.Jenny and Anna didn't know what was going on with me and were afraid to ask.The fact that happened is too much.Xu Yu and You Ying cried harder than I did, but I couldn't even squeeze a single tear.You Ying asked me to travel, she said, the three of us will travel together.I don't want to go, they are broken in love, and what I lost will never come back.I don't want to leave here, I don't want to leave the place where his ashes are. When the shop was about to close, a woman walked in. This woman was about thirty-seven or eight years old, a bit fat, wearing a black dress and a long black coat, dressed very dignifiedly, his face was painted It was very white, but it couldn't hide his haggard face. "Miss, just take a look." I told her. She selected a black silk bust. "Are you going to try this one?" I asked her. "Are you the manager here?" she asked me. "Yes, my surname is Zhou." I said. "I'll try this one." "What size?" I asked her. "This will do." "The fitting room is here." I took her into the fitting room. "You guys get off work first." I told Jenny and Anna. "Miss, does this bust fit?" I asked her outside the fitting room. "Can you come in and help?" she asked me. I went into the fitting room and she was wearing a dress that she hadn't tried on that bust at all. "I am Mrs. Don Vincent," she told me. I wanted to leave the dressing room immediately, but she closed the door and blocked the door with her body. "Are you my husband's woman?" She stared at me. I looked at her, and if Sen hadn't died, I might be afraid to face her, but with Sen dead, I'm not afraid of anything.This woman won't let me see Mori for the last time, I hate her. "I've always wondered what kind of woman Sen had an affair with. It turned out that she was just a bust seller." She smiled disdainfully. I'm not going to argue with her. "Sen is a fool, she's just a playful woman, and actually gave you more than two million yuan to buy a house." She shook her head and sighed. How would she know? "There are more than two million in his account, does he think I don't know? I already knew." She leaned against the door. "What do you want?" I asked her. "Fortunately, I found the check you wrote to him in his wallet. Let me tell you, I cashed it. The money was originally his, and it will be mine in the future." She smiled triumphantly. I already guessed it was her, Sen said he kept the check in his wallet all the time, and she searched his wallet after Sen died. "Do you know why I cremated Sen?" she asked me. "I don't want him to have a grave. The urn should have been placed in the monastery. I ignored everyone's objections and brought it home. It's not that I don't want him. Do you know why?" She walked in front of me, body He almost leaned against me, stared at me and said, "I don't want you to have the opportunity to worship him. He is my husband, and he is mine even after he dies." She sneered at me bitterly. "You're cruel," I said. "Cruel?" She sneered a few times, "Who is cruel to whom? Only after he dies can I have him." "You think so?" I asked her back. She suddenly took off her blouse and skirt, leaving only her black bust and panties, standing in front of me almost naked. Her breasts were small, her arms were flabby, she had a distinctly small belly, her thighs were fat, and she had an unattractive figure that I hadn't expected Mrs. Sen to have. "Am I inferior to you?" she asked me. I didn't answer. "For you, he wants to divorce me. I have been with him for eighteen years. We are our first love. When he pursued me, he once waited for me in the rain for three hours. He loved me, and he is no longer I love me because of you!" She tore off my coat. I grabbed her hand and asked her, "What are you doing?" "You take off your clothes, you take off your clothes, I will return the 2.8 million to you! Do you want it?" She pulled my sleeve with the other hand and said, "I want to see what you have What attracts Sen, take it off!" I took off my top, skirt and stockings, leaving only my white bust and panties, and stood in front of her. She looked at my breasts and couldn't speak, I had already compared her. "My husband is just greedy for your figure! He just wants to vent, he's always been a man." She insulted me. "If you just want to vent, he won't be with me for five years. He loved you, but he loved me before he died, and he asked me the day before he died if I loved him." I told her. She suddenly laughed: "It's a pity that he saw the wrong person. You stripped naked in front of me for 2.8 million, and you just like his money! Okay, I'll write you a check now, as if it was you." The cost of sleeping with my husband for five years." She picked up her handbag. "I don't intend to accept the 2.8 million. I'm doing this to punish you for not letting me worship Sen." I put on my clothes, "If he can be resurrected, I'd rather give him to you, love one People, not occupying him, he is a very good man, but unfortunately she will not come back." She suddenly squatted on the ground and cried bitterly. Her body was shaking.I suddenly felt soft-hearted, picked up her coat, and covered her. She is also a victim. I walk out of the fitting room.Why can I be so strong?If Sen was still by my side, I would definitely not be able to resist what happened today.He is gone, no one will protect me and pamper me like him, I know I have to be strong. She got dressed and came out of the fitting room, with her head held high, and she left the lingerie store without looking back. I watched her disappear in the corridor of the shopping mall. I walked into the dressing room, squatted on the floor, and tidied up an untried bust she left behind.My heart was sore, my hands and feet were so sore that I couldn't cheer up, and tears poured out uncontrollably.Since Sen passed away, I haven't had a good cry. I thought people would cry when they were saddest, but it turns out that people don't cry when they are saddest.He left so suddenly, my sadness turned into hatred, hating him for leaving me, I told myself maybe he didn't love me like that, and I shouldn't be sad for him.But, just today, his wife told me personally that he filed for divorce, and that he really thought about staying with me, even for the rest of his life.I never believed him, I thought he was procrastinating, I didn't believe he had the courage to divorce, I misunderstood him.This man is willing to pay a heavy price for me.If I could get him back, I'd rather he be alive than love me so deeply. I cry out loud, will he hear?Will he hear my confession for not answering his questions?I shouldn't have done that to his wife just now, I should have begged her to let me see his ashes.Why should I be brave?He once joked that his wife would chop him into meat paste, but she didn't, she just turned him into ashes.His love for me has already turned into dust between heaven and earth. Every Sunday, I went to Heshu to explore Snow Fort. It has grown up a lot and no longer needs milk. It seems to recognize people. It recognizes me. This Sunday, You Ying and Xu Yu accompanied me to visit it. "Chang Dahai is back." You Ying told me. "Really?" I was happy for You Ying. "He came back last night and said that he didn't take some clothes with him when he moved them out, and then he refused to leave." You Ying said. "If you don't want to, how can you let him hang on?" Xu Yu teased her. "What did he tell you?" I asked You Ying. "He didn't say anything to me, I told him." "You told him?" "I told him I love him." You Ying said with a red face. "You actually said that?" I couldn't believe it. "I love him, why should I hide it?" "Isn't Chang Dahai very touched?" I said with a smile. "So he just hangs on." You Ying said. "Has he finished with that disc jockey?" Xu Yu asked You Ying. "He said it was over. In fact, I am also responsible. I have never tried to understand his inner world. I always thought I knew him, but I didn't. He loves me more than I love him. If it weren't for Tang Vincent, I might You still refuse to tell Dahai that I love him, so when you love someone, you should let him know, maybe one day you will lose him forever." You Ying said. "Yes." I said. "I'm sorry, I don't want to bring this up again." You Ying said. "It doesn't matter, the only thing I have to complain about is that God gave us five years, which is really too short, and I am willing to waste my life for him." "I am willing to have such a good man," Xu Yu said. "For him, you have to take good care of yourself." You Ying told me. "I can," I said. "He'll protect me." "Will you reconsider Chen Dingliang now?" Xu Yu asked me. "I haven't seen Chen Dingliang for a long time. He was never a backup." I said. It is impossible to find Chen Dingliang to replace Sen. No man can replace Sen. On the afternoon of the second day after we discussed Chen Dingliang, I ran into Chen Dingliang at a liquor place in Central.He is shopping for wine, and I say hello to him. "Zhou Rui, long time no see." He told me. "What a coincidence, I ran into you here." I said. "We have even met with a probability of 1 in 133,225, so it is not surprising to meet here!" He has not forgotten the 1 in 133,225 fate. "Ah, yes," I said. "I heard about your matter, I'm sorry." Chen Dingliang told me. "Did Xu Yu tell you?" Chen Dingliang nodded. "I love him very much," I said. "I can see it." Chen Dingliang said, "Every one of us is tortured by love." He saw me holding a bottle of 1990 red wine. "Do you drink too?" he asked me. "I like to buy red wine in 1990, and I met him in this year." I said. Since Sen's death, I started to buy this year's wine, which gradually became my spiritual sustenance.This day I bought the third bottle. "1990 was a good year." Chen Dingliang told me, "The wines of this year are worth collecting, as the book says." "Then I'm lucky," I said. I have collected eleven bottles of 1990 French red wine in total.Chen Dingliang was right. 1990 was a good year, and the grape harvest was good. The price of red wine in this year kept rising. It was almost too expensive for me, so I could only try to buy a bottle every month. This past spring, I planted tomatoes on the piece of land Mori gave me.Snow Castle is in charge of plowing the fields. He is already one year old and in good health.I was in charge of sowing, and I have already harvested twice. The tomatoes I planted were big and red. I gave a lot to Xu Yu and You Ying, and Anna and Jenny also got a lot.The tomatoes grown by themselves seem to be particularly delicious, and Chang Dahai and You Ying also clamored to buy a piece of land there to grow their own vegetables. Xu Yu came to me that day, and she said that she had something to give to me.She wrapped the portion securely in chicken paper. "What is it?" I asked her. "Take it apart and have a look," she said. I opened the chicken paper, and inside was a photo frame. In the photo frame, there was something like a bee, but not quite like a bee. It had feet and a pair of wings like jewels, which were colorful. "This is a hummingbird specimen. Didn't you say you wanted it?" That was a long time ago. "Where did you find it?" "Yu Wu Guo gave it to me." "You got back together with him?" "It's impossible for me and him to be together, but we still meet occasionally." Xu Yu said. I looked carefully at the hummingbird that had been dead for a long time and was made into a specimen. It is the only bird that can fly backwards. It would be great if the past could also be reversed. Sen will return to me and return to my arms Here, keep me warm.Our love is like the hummingbird, the only one in the world. I brought home a stuffed hummingbird and bought a twelfth bottle of 1990.This day is the coldest since the beginning of winter, only six degrees Celsius.I listened to "I will wait for you" under the covers. I haven't dared to listen to this song for a long time. After Sen's death, I listened to this song again for the first time. "Hehehehe—" Someone knocked on my window outside, and I removed the picture of "Snow Castle's Sky" in front of the window, but there was no one outside.I opened the window, the wind was biting, no one was outside, I remember Sen often said to me "I will never leave you".The last time he appeared was outside the window on such a cold night. (full text)