Chapter 8 Chapter Six

At midnight, Guan Zhiyao was naked, sitting in front of the piano, playing Dan Fogclberg's "Longer". For ever and ever, it was originally a lament. She is self-taught on the piano.When you're in a good mood, play better, and when you're in a bad mood, play worse.All of a sudden, she heard the sound of a flute downstairs, crying with grief.Who is accompanying her?It can't be Zheng Yizhi, he won't come back anymore. Her hands rested on the keys, bringing back some fond memories.All childhood memories are beautiful. No matter how unsatisfactory it is after growing up, childhood days are the happiest memories in life.

At that time, she and Zheng Yizhi were classmates in the sixth grade of primary school.He was in the flute class at school, and she had seen him perform on stage.Zheng Yizhi always had a shy look on his face.He is very tall and very white, which makes him stand out among a group of boys.They were in the same class, but he never took the initiative to chat with her.She secretly fell in love with him, and deliberately dressed up every day before going to school.He didn't seem to notice at all. One day after school, she quietly followed him.It was raining lightly that day, Zheng Yizhi lived in Yuen Long, far away from the school, after watching him walk into the house, she stood outside stupidly, this was the first time for her to follow someone else!I didn't feel stupid then.If you like someone but dare not confess to him, then you have to sneak behind his shadow, which is also pleasant.

When she decided to go home, she found that her wallet was missing.She remembered that she was hit by a middle-aged woman on the road just now, but she didn't expect that person to be a pickpocket. It was getting dark and the rain was getting heavier.It is impossible to walk home from Yuen Long.She had no choice but to bite the bullet and knock on the door of Zheng Yizhi's house. It was Zheng Yizhi who came out to open the door, and he was taken aback when he saw her. "Guan Yayao, what are you doing here;" "Can you lend me money to ride home?" she said. "How much do you want?"

"How much does it cost to go to Hong Kong from here?" "About ten dollars." "Then lend me ten dollars." "Wait a minute." He went inside and gave her ten dollars. "I'll pay you back," she said. As she was leaving, he said behind: "Wait a minute." He ran to the house, and after a while, he came out with an umbrella in his hand and handed it to her. She was so embarrassed that she wanted to cry, took the umbrella in his hand, turned around and ran.What could be more embarrassing than stalking others and finally reducing yourself to borrowing money from the person you stalked to go home?

After graduating from elementary school, she and Zheng Yizhi scattered things.That mild secret love was just a small episode in the days of youth; it was not until they reunited when they grew up that the episode turned into an elegy. It would not be an elegy if she had been in love with him all along.Unfortunately, before they met again, she had fallen in love with someone else, whom she had almost forgotten.In novels or movies, the childhood love is always written as forever, as if it is destined for this life.In reality, when people grow up, they will change their minds. When they met again in a bookstore, Zheng Yizhi grew even taller.

"You still owe me—an umbrella and ten dollars!" he laughed. He has changed from a shy boy to an amiable old friend.The day after following him home, summer vacation began, and she never had a chance to return the money to him. "I'll treat you to dinner," she said. "You just owe me ten bucks!" "That was ten yuan more than ten years ago! Are you free now? I heard that there is a very good Italian restaurant nearby." "Then I'm welcome!" After the two sat down in the restaurant.She asked Zheng Yizhi: "Do you still play the flute?"

"Not anymore. When I grew up, my interests changed." "I thought you were going to be a flutist!" "I don't have that talent." "Although I have no talent, I have started to play the piano!" "What level is it?" "I strummed the piano score by myself, and didn't go to class." "You're still as willful as ever." "Was I used to be self-willed?" "When you were in elementary school, you didn't seem to care much about others, and you could do whatever you liked." "So you have been paying attention to me all the time! I thought I was the only one paying attention to you."

"Why did you show up outside my house that day?" "After school, I'll follow you home." After so many years, she was not afraid to admit it frankly. "Why are you following me?" "I had a crush on you then." Zheng Yizhi smiled: "Am I so honored?" "It's all because of following you, and ended up meeting a pickpocket. You lent me your umbrella, is it because you also have a crush on me?" "Maybe! You were cute when you were young." "Why did you have a crush on others at that time? Crush and unrequited love are both self-torture." She said emotionally.

"The secret love of a teenager is the longest secret love." He said. She had forgotten Zheng Yizhi, but he had never forgotten her.Because of that childhood history, they became close friends.He fell in love with the ground even more. The secret love of a teenager is long and light.The secret love after adulthood is long and bitter.She has a crush on Yu Zhixi.The first time she saw Yu Zhixi, she fell in love with him.Rather than saying it is love, it is more appropriate to say it is worship.Worship is more serious than love.When you love someone, you will ask for something in return, and you hope that he will love you too.Worship—a person, but bottomless, can pay and wait for him forever.The worship of youth is also sublime at the same time.Worship after adulthood is humble.

Yu Zhixi is not often in Hong Kong.In a month, he was not in Hong Kong for almost half of the time.When he was not around, her half month's life was also empty.He never promised anything.Sometimes, they're just lovers who eat and sleep.She has always claimed to be a woman of the times.Between men and women, it is just a relationship, not a relationship.Relationships are free and easy, but feelings are a burden.However, she was not this kind of woman at all, it was just her helpless choice. That night, Yu Zhixi came back from Spain.She originally asked Zheng Yizhi to watch a movie, but after receiving Yu Zhixi's call, she immediately found an excuse to push Zheng Yizhi away.

Yu Zhixi also has feelings for her, right?That day, he licked her face and hair with his tongue, making her wet like a puppy.She asked him: "This time, are you also with that stewardess?" He didn't answer. "Why she never met you in Hong Kong, is it because she has a boyfriend?" He licked her mouth with his tongue and kept her from speaking. "What's wrong with me?" She choked up and asked him. "There's nothing wrong with you," he said. "Then why am I always the backup? Is she prettier than me?" He licked her ears and said, "You're fine, you're perfect." "Really?" she asked sadly. "Yeah." He licked her neck. She took off her bra and sat on top of him, pressing her breasts against his chest, as if that was the only way to shorten the distance between them.However, no matter how hard she tried, he and she were still far away. She is just his eternal backup.Perfection is a sin.How perfect is the pain. She also has a forever backup.That person is also almost adored, forever waiting for her. In the first days, she once told Zheng Yizhi frankly: "I'm a man's backup." "He said I was too perfect to love me. What do you say?" she asked. "Then he shouldn't have sex with you." He was a little angry because he was not worth it for her. Later, she could see that he was getting more and more jealous, so she didn't mention Yu Zhixi anymore.It was a balloon between the two of them, and neither of them wanted to pop it.Once it is pierced, there will only be two people who share the same illness and pity each other. However, she is more cruel than Yu Zhixi.Yu Zhixi will still love her.She was very willful towards Zheng Yizhi.Now that she knows that this man is always waiting; then, she doesn't care about him.Whenever Yu Zhixi looks for her, she will leave him immediately.Her schedule was set for Yu Zhixi. On the night of Zheng Yizhi's birthday, she pre-ordered a birthday cake at that Italian restaurant.When the two of them had almost finished their main course, her mobile phone rang. It was Yu Zhixi who wanted to see her. "I'm not free right now." She hung up the phone. "Are there any friends looking for you?" Zheng Yizhi asked. "Nothing," she said. However, after hanging up the phone, she regretted it again.She looked at Zheng Yizhi, does she like him?She liked him when she was eleven years old, the past is too far away.Sitting in front of her, he was at her fingertips; what she cared about was the man on the other end of the phone. She hurriedly ate the perch in front of her, hoping that the dinner would be over soon, so she could go to Yu Zhixi's place in time.Zheng Yizhi was talking to her, but her soul had already flown away. The waiter brought up a candle-lit cake.Zheng Yizhi did not expect a cake. "It's beautiful!" he said. "Hurry up and make a wish!" "What wish do you want?" He hesitated. She glanced at her watch secretly, and urged him again: "Haven't made a wish yet? The candles are almost burnt out." He is usually very forthright, but this day it happened to be his mother-in-law, and made her anxious to death. "I figured it out!" he said at last. "Great!" Before he could close his eyes and make a wish, she couldn't wait to blow out the candles on the cake. When the candles were extinguished, he stared at her blankly, not knowing whether it was embarrassment or sadness, his eyes were red. "If you have something to do, go first!" Zheng Yizhi said. "No, I just thought you were blowing out the candle." She lied. However, no one could tell that it was a lie. They ate the cake in silence, and then he said, "It's getting late, I'll take you home." After returning home, she hurriedly changed her clothes and went out to Yu Zhixi's place.She knocked on the door for a long time, but no one came to answer the door.Yu Zhixi is different from Zheng Yizhi, he will not wait for her forever.If she doesn't come, he may have a third, or even a fourth backup. She left that place alone, desolately.What a bad person she is?She ruined someone else's happy birthday; that man, and loved her like that. She came to Zheng Yizhi's house and knocked on the door.He comes to open the door.Seeing her, he was a little stunned and a little sad. She said, "Can you lend me the money to ride home?" When she was eleven years old, didn't she also ask him to borrow money outside his house? He didn't want to see her anymore, but when he saw her, he felt sorry for her again. "How much do you want?" he asked. "How much does it cost from here to Hong Kong?" he laughed.She threw herself into his arms and said, choking with sobs: "Sorry, I didn't want that." "It's okay." He reassured her. "Why are you being so nice to me? There are so many people better than me! You'll soon find out that I'm not worth it. I'm not perfect at all." Zheng Yizhi hugged her and kissed her lips.However, what she misses in her heart is the man who doesn't love her. "I'm sorry, I can't," she cried. She sensed a sad desperation in his eyes. She had never believed in fate, but now she kind of believed in it.She became someone else's backup, and someone else became her backup.Backups also have backups.Isn't Yu Zhixi the flight attendant's back-up? The next day, she returned to Yu Zhixi's place. "Were you with your friends yesterday?" he asked. She smiled: "Aren't you jealous?" He didn't say anything.She is so wishful thinking, how could he guard against it? "Can you come with me tomorrow?" she asked. "I'm going to London tomorrow night." "Oh, is it?" "If I say, after tomorrow, we won't see each other again, would you be willing?" While taking off her clothes, Yu Zhixi asked: "Don't you want to see me again?" "You can depend on others, but maybe I can't." She gritted her teeth. He sucked her tits vigorously, as if to make her change her mind, but it was more like mourning that she was sent to the fence. Aren't they two people who share the same disease and pity each other?Suddenly she forgave him. Two days later, she also went to London and stayed in the same hotel as Yu Zhixi.The last time I stalked someone was when I was eleven years old. That kind of stalking was joyful.Today's follow-up is confusing.Why do you want to come?She didn't know it herself. That night, she followed Yu Zhixi and the stewardess to Chinatown.The two people in front walked affectionately; the one behind her followed lonely.She saw the woman stop in front of a flower stand and buy a bouquet of red roses. In Chinatown on a Friday night, there was a rush of people, and she had followed them desperately, but finally lost track of them.She looked around like a crazy woman, and finally returned to the flower stand.In the dark night, she was the only one with nowhere to go.Her stalking technique is really just a backup. Turning around, she saw Yu Zhixi and that woman sitting in a Chinese restaurant.She stood on the opposite sidewalk, watching the two people in the restaurant.When Yu Zhixi was talking, he often gently stroked the woman's face.He never did this to her.When had he ever loved her? The reason he said he couldn't love her was because she was too perfect.It was a lie she would never believe. All perfection is relative.She loves him, he doesn't love her, this is relative.She who is not loved by him is pitifully perfect.He, whom she loved, was proudly imperfect. She doesn't want to be perfect.If you can be loved by him, why not be riddled with holes?However, he said she was too perfect. Seeing the imperfect him touching the woman's cheek again, she was finally willing to leave.In distant Hong Kong, there is another man who is always waiting for her. She didn't expect that even he would leave. After returning, she made a phone call to Zheng Yizhi. "Would you like to have dinner with me?" she asked. He on the other end of the phone fell silent. "Don't you have time? Forget it!" She hung up the phone.She had always done that to him. A few days later, she came to him again. "Don't you want to see me?" she asked proudly. "Okay," he said. They met at that Italian restaurant.She deliberately dressed up beautifully, and she was afraid of losing him too. Zheng Yizhi was sitting in front of her, but in the depths of his eyes, there was no respect and longing like before.After leaving the restaurant, she deliberately got close to him, but he remained indifferent.Finally came to her home.She started by saying: "Do you want to come in?" "No, I have to go to work tomorrow." He said. In an instant, she was in disarray, and she couldn't care about her dignity, so she asked him: "what do you mean?" "No other meaning." "I've already left Yu Zhixi," she said. He didn't look happy. She finally asked, "Don't you love me?" After a long silence, he finally said: "That time has passed." "What time?" she asked. He lowered his head and didn't answer.In an instant, she and him were also separated by mountains. In the middle of the night, she sat naked in front of the piano, picked up the phone, and connected to Xia Xinju's Channel A. "I want to play a song on the piano," she said. "Our program has no such precedent." Xia Xinju said. "I'm going to play Dan Fogelberg's Longer." Will Zheng Yizhi hear it?On the day they reunited in the bookstore, the bookstore played and watched this song.The longer he was away, the longer her longing and regret.He said that time has passed, is he actually talking about the time limit?When she first blows out the candles on the birthday cake, she also extinguishes all his expectations. The love at the age of eleven is gone forever.