Chapter 2 Chapter 1 In That Far Island Country
Tell me, which piece of sky is the bluest and bluest?
When our footprints are gone, Antarctic penguins say,
It is the sky that soothes the snow.
The bluest and bluest sky dissolves in the wind and waves of the Arctic Ocean. So say the ray, so say the whale, The sky is water plants soaked in blue, soaked in blue The sky of tears left there.
In the grasslands of the East, every laurel, every Bread trees are separated by a distance that will never meet; The flowers and fruits have fallen, and each plant still embraces The thickest and thickest yearning climbs to the bluest and bluest sky.
Let me ask you, the bluest and bluest is the penguin sky? The sky of the whale, or the sky of the bread tree? But you answer: It is the closest to the vulture, and the farthest from sorrow; It is the sky of your childhood, the sky that covers Tibet.
Gone are the days of youth, thought All partings are just for reunion; When I'm near you, for the last time, In my heart, I said, there was also the bluest sky, Because of you, that year, the sky was high; the trees were green and verdant. On New Year's Eve in 1992, Lin Fangwen and I walked together again.It's just that I don't know which day he will leave me again. It was a thunderstorm night in the summer of 1993.He sent me back to my home on Wong Nai Chung Road, Happy Valley.It was raining heavily, and we stood under an old banyan tree to shelter from the rain.I pointed to my chest and said to him: "What I'm wearing is a bra with wire." He swept my drenched back with his hands and asked me: "So what?" "If I was struck by thunder, I would die, and now I hold your hand, and you will die with me." "Then don't we become Thunderbolt?" he said with a smile. "On June 30, 1997, the eve of Hong Kong's return to the motherland, will we still be together?" "If we're not struck by lightning for a while—" He looked up at the sky. At that time, I did not expect that on the eve of Hong Kong's return, there would be a thunderstorm as big as this night. "So, on December 31, 1999, will we still be together?" I asked him. He smiled: "If you're willing to take off your underwire bra now, it might be possible if we don't have to die." Every time he said these things, he was not serious. "I don't want you, but I want the Millennium New Year's Eve song. You said yes." "Do you want songs but not people?" "Songs outlast people," I said. At that moment, the millennium was still far away.Sometimes, I don't know whether we are born in this era, whether we are happy or unlucky.In a thousand years, we have not yet come to this world; in three thousand years, we cannot still be alive.We who are young can see the coming of two thousand years.Just because there is such a day, we are very afraid of being alone. "Cheng Yun, you are such a troublesome person." Lin Fangwen said. "Yes, I'm here to trouble you," I said. "Have you ever seen a bread tree?" I asked him. He shook his head. "I saw it once, in Thailand," I said. "When the bread tree blooms, the flowers are like bread, with male and female flowers." "Male and female flowers?" "Yes, there are male flowers and there are female flowers. There are men and there are women." Suddenly, with a bang, thunder struck. "Let's go!" He took my hand. "It's still raining!" I said. "Standing under a tree during thunderstorms, do you want to seek death? I don't want to hear tomorrow's news that the famous lyricist Lin Fang died under a wire bra worn by his girlfriend." "Don't hold my hand and you'll be fine." "You won't let me go." "Would you cry if I died?" I asked. He didn't answer me.If I really die, is it impossible for him not to cry?Farewell, between us, is unimaginable. "Leave me alone!" he finally replied. "No way!" I said. If loving him is a kind of addiction, I may still be willing to indulge for a lifetime. Not long after that rainy day, Lin Fangwen discovered a girl, her name was Gomel.At that time, Lin Fangwen's studio had been dismantled, and he was doing lyrics writing alone, and he was already very famous.Gemeler recommended himself.The record company also receives many tapes from men and women who dream of being a singer every day, and no one really listens to them.One day, Lin Fangwen accidentally saw the tape sent by Gemeler in the office of record producer Ye Hetian.Her tapes, unlike the others, were contained in a coconut shell.Lin Fangwen likes strange things the most. "If you want to listen, take it back and listen slowly!" Ye Hetian gave Lin Fangwen the tape and the coconut shell. That night, Lin Fangwen gave me the coconut shell. "It's also good for drinking water," he said. He put the tape on the record player, and a deep female voice suddenly flowed.It was the first song Lin Fangwen gave me - "Tomorrow". Her voice is an unforgettable voice.Even if you only hear it once, thirty years later, you will not forget it.I am a tone-deaf person; however, I also know that it is the sound of nature, which does not seem to belong to this world. I saw a wonderful change in the expression on Lin Fangwen's face.His eyes sparkled. "This guy is going to be a hit," he said. There was only one name on the tape—Gammel. "Where's the coconut shell? The address might be on the coconut shell," he said. I found that coconut shell in the kitchen.Gomel's address was indeed posted under the coconut shell; however, it was an address in the Fiji Islands.She lived on this remote island in the South Pacific, no wonder she sent her songs in coconut shells.She might even belly dance. "She was born to sing." Lin Fangwen said. I am very curious about her appearance. What kind of face does a woman with such a voice have?Why did she sing the first New Year's Eve song that Lin Fangwen wrote to me?Later, I realized that there was a reason for that. When I finally met Gomel, it was after she came back and made her first record. Lin Fangwen recommended her to producer Ye Hetian.She received a notice from the record company and returned from Fiji immediately.After getting off the plane, she went directly to the record company from Kai Tak Airport.Although she has a unique singing voice, her appearance is a bit strange after all, and she is not a traditional sweet girl.The record company didn't dare to take risks, and was only willing to release a mini album for her. The five songs in the album were all written by Lin Fangwen. In order to promote that record, and to confirm Lin Fangwen's vision, I asked Gemeler to do an interview.Before meeting, I asked Lin Fangwen: "Is she really not pretty at all?" "Have you ever seen a monkey?" he asked. "A monkey with a big mouth," he said. We met at the beach cafe in Nanwan, and I wanted to take a series of photos for her with sunshine and beaches. Here she comes, and her mouth is really big.Those crying children in the cartoons, every time they cry loudly, only the mouth and two front teeth remain, and the eyes and nose disappear.Gomel has such a mouth, no wonder her vocal range is so wide. Yes, she is like a monkey.She was tall and thin, with a long chin and sunken cheeks.However, you know that monkeys usually have a pair of pitiful and moving eyes. She has a bronze skin, which is the sunshine of Fiji.Her hair was like a dish full of spaghetti. Today, she was wearing a singlet and shorts, and I saw a small tattoo on her left ankle.That tattoo is Linus.Linus is one of the main characters in Charlie Schultz's Peanuts.This little boy is insecure, perpetually cuddled with a blanket, and talks philosophically. Why not the beloved Snoopy but Linus?I forgot to ask her. Come with Gomel, there is also a boy who looks like a native of Fiji.The boy was dark-skinned and had curly hair that looked like a spring.He is handsome and strong.Like Gomel, he was wearing a singlet and shorts. "His name is Weiwei." Gemel introduced to us. Why did Gemel bring a lovely native here?Could Weiwei be her bodyguard? "How are you?" Weiwei said with a smile showing his white teeth. It turns out that he can speak Chinese fluently. "Wei Wei is of mixed Chinese and Fijian descent. His father opened a Chinese restaurant in Fiji." Gemel said. While we were doing the interview, Weiwei went swimming. "Wei Wei is my boyfriend. He will probably stay here with me forever and will not go back to Fiji." Gemel said. "It's rare!" I said. "Yes, he said that he would accompany me to pursue my dream." She said frankly. Gomel, who was sitting in front of me with her knees in her arms, was very young, only nineteen years old. "I had just come back from the beach and I was still in my bathing suit when I got the notification from the record company," she said. "Have you always wanted to be a singer?" "My father said that if I don't sing, I will waste the voice that God gave me." She is full of confidence. At the age of nine, Gomel emigrated from Hong Kong to Fiji with her family.Her parents run a local bar.Gomel and her three older sisters sing in the bar every night. "The bar is doing really well because everyone comes to hear us sing," she said. "Have you ever been to Fiji?" she asked me. "not yet." "You must come! It is a very beautiful place. If you come to Fiji, don't forget to visit my bar. Our family lives upstairs from the bar. Although our life is not rich, we live Very happy." Then, she told me: "It's been a year since the tape was mailed to the record company, and I thought it was gone forever." "Yes, it almost became like this." "Then I'd probably spend my life singing in Fiji bars and belly dancing occasionally. What brought me back from that island?" That's chance, right?Later, I knew better that her return was an irreversible fate. "Why did you choose the song "Tomorrow"?" I asked her. "I love the lyrics," Gomel said. "I heard it for the first time in a Chinese restaurant after I broke up with my boyfriend. The last two lines made me cry." "Did that boy break your heart?" She shook her head: "I'm the one who wants to break up. 'Affection is a burden I can't afford'. I'm afraid others love me too much." "What about Weiwei?" "He's different. I love him a little more. Don't think he's so strong. He's actually very childish." We talked for a long time, but Wei Wei has not come back yet.There was no sign of him on the beach either. "Do you want to go to him?" I asked Gemel. "Don't worry, he's fine." Gemel said lightly. Yes, I don't have any reason to doubt the swimming skills of a native Fijian.Even if he is accidentally washed up on a deserted island, he may still be able to live happily on the island for the rest of his life. When the interview was almost over, Weiwei finally came back.In the setting sun, his freshly tanned skin shone beautifully golden.It turned out that he swam to an empty beach and fell asleep. The interview was over, and Gemel and Weiwei left hand in hand. Before leaving, she said to me: "You are so lucky! There is a man who writes such beautiful lyrics for you. I will sing every song for you in the future." She is so forthright and confident.Watching her and Weiwei disappear into the afterglow of the setting sun, for a moment, I wondered if it was right or wrong to call them back from that distant island country?Can the two adapt to the rush of love and hate, disappointment and frustration in this city? Gemel is lucky, there is a man who loves her and is willing to accompany her to the ends of the earth to find her dream.What dreams do I have of myself?Being a reporter in a daily newspaper is a job I like, but is it also my dream?Will Lin Fangwen be willing to let go of everything and accompany me to travel the world to pursue my dreams? What is love?Is it to fulfill the dream of the other party, even at the expense of hiding yourself? Dreams may be a luxury, and most men and women can stay together for a lifetime without dreams. Will Gemel and Weiwei regret coming back? They should have stayed on that small island in the South Pacific. Gomel's record came out, and it did very well.Although it didn't become a dramatic hit, for a newcomer, it was finally noticed.Her upside-down spaghetti-like hair and her odd looks have drawn plenty of criticism.Gomel didn't seem to care at all.She is so confident that she doesn't care what others think of her, and she doesn't intend to change herself. One day, Gomel suddenly appeared at the newspaper office where I worked. "Why are you here?" I wondered. "I came here specifically to thank you for the interview you wrote for me," she said. "You're welcome." I said the truth, half of that interview was for Lin Fangwen. "Wei Wei and I rented a house in Xiangsi Bay, Sai Kung. There is a beach there, so Weiwei can go swimming every day," she said happily. These two Fijians finally settled down in Hong Kong.Weiwei is on a tourist visa and cannot work in Hong Kong. He can only accompany Gomel to go around or stay at home.The house on the beach brought them closer to their hometown. "When are you and Lin Fangwen free, can you come to my house for dinner? I really want to thank you both. You two are the only friends Wei Wei and I have in Hong Kong." Gemel said. "Let me ask Lin Fangwen." "If he doesn't come, you have to come too! Weiwei is very good at cooking." Gemel said enthusiastically. "Is he always this strange?" She suddenly asked me again. "You mean Lin Fangwen?" "Well, I often walk alone, it seems that I don't need friends." "He's changed a lot, you didn't see him in college, it was weirder then." "Are you college classmates?" "Well. Once separated, and then together again." "There is a kind of magic among the indigenous people of Fiji. It is said that a woman can use this magic to keep a man's heart." Gemel said. "Really? What kind of spell?" I was curious. But Gemel said mysteriously: "Don't be greedy! I heard that people who don't really need it shouldn't know this kind of spell. I hope you never need to know it." Am I really as she said, too greedy?If there was a magic in the world that could keep a loved one by your side forever, who wouldn't want to know? "Would you like to eat Weiwei's cooking?" I asked Lin Fangwen. "Fijian food, isn't it delicious?" he said. "They didn't say they were cooking Fijian food. Wei Wei's family owns a Chinese restaurant, maybe it's cooking Chinese food." "The Chinese food made by that native must be terrible." "Strictly speaking, he's not native," I said. "I guess he cooks Italian food," he said. "How do you know?" "If you don't like Italian food, how can you fall in love with that spaghetti?" he said. "Gemier would like to thank you very much, after all, you discovered her." "It's her own talent, so she doesn't need to thank me. I don't write lyrics for free." He said lightly. "Shall we go and see their house?" "If you want to go, then I will go with you." I laughed. "What are you laughing at?" he asked. "Nothing." I said. Lin Fangwen really changed.He used to be selfish, withdrawn and weird.Now, although he is still so selfish, he has become much more steadfast and has learned to give for others.Where I want to go, even if he doesn't want to go, he will accompany me.How could these things be possible before?He has matured and become cute.However, the changed him is more adaptable to this world?Or will it be more likely to be hurt by reality? Gomel and Whisper live in a two-story country house.There is a small pond outside the house, and a five-minute walk is the beach.It was dusk when we arrived that day.Wearing an apron, Weiwei came out of the kitchen and said cheerfully: "You must have guessed it, I am going to cook an Italian meal today." Lin Fangwen is really amazing. "I can't cook, I can only eat." Gemel said. A small furry mass suddenly passed by my ankle, startling me.I looked down and saw a gosling with light brown feathers swaggering around the room. "Is it for eating? It seems to be too young." Lin Fangwen looked at the gosling and said. ""Mozart" is a pet we just raised, not for eating." Gemel said quickly. "This goose is called Mozart?" Lin Fangwen asked. "Weiwei likes to listen to Mozart." Gemel said. They even kept a goose as a pet. Wei Wei hugged Mozart and said affectionately: "The goose will guard the door, and it will bite strangers." He looked at Mozart and said, "Of course, this will have to wait until it grows up." "It's a female goose, and it will lay eggs in the future," Gemel said. "Do you want to eat those goose eggs?" I asked. "If it is not fertilized, you can eat it. If it is fertilized, it is Mozart's own flesh and blood, so of course you can't eat it." Gemel said. Their home seems to be a children's paradise, and these are two people who will not grow up, will never grow up, and may be happy. Weiwei’s Italian food is not like Italian, French, or Chinese. It is probably his own improved Fiji-style Italian food, which is far from the realm of delicious food. Far. "Do you miss home?" I asked Gomel. “Life here is more colorful than in Fiji; it’s just that I haven’t dived for a long time and I really want to dive,” she said. "Mier is a diving instructor." Wei Wei said. "Can you dive?" Gemel asked Lin Fangwen and me. I shook my head. "If there is a chance, I will teach you two to dive." At that moment, I didn't think about learning to dive, and Lin Fangwen didn't show much interest. "You don't know how beautiful the bottom of Fiji is!" Gemel's face was full of fascination. "Aren't you afraid of danger?" I asked. "There, you will forget the danger and all the troubles. You are a fish in the sea, swimming towards happiness. At that moment, you even forget the world and yourself." Gomel used her moving words said the voice. "Forget yourself? That's fine." Lin Fangwen seemed to be yearning for it too. At that time, who would have thought that this island country in the South Pacific was the place where my soul would die? It was late at night, and Mozart fell asleep.He slept in a kennel because there were no special kennels for geese in pet stores. When saying goodbye, Gemeler said to Lin Fangwen seriously: "Thank you for writing the lyrics for me." "That's nothing." Lin Fangwen said lightly. After leaving Gemel and Weiwei's house, I said to Lin Fangwen, "Shall we go to the beach? Isn't there a beach nearby?" We lay on that peaceful and dark beach.I said, "It's nice to live in a house by the sea, right?" Lin Fangwen suddenly laughed and said, "They call that goose Mozart!" Yes, we were all embarrassed to laugh in front of Gomel and Weiwei just now. "It's not very good to be called Mozart. Mozart only lived to be thirty-five years old." I said. "Thirty-five years old is already impossible for a goose. Goose is usually eaten when it reaches three and a half catties!" He laughed again as he spoke. "Gamille thanked you sincerely, why don't you seem to appreciate it?" I asked. "Those poems are really nothing, I don't think I wrote them well." Lin Fangwen said. "I think it's good! I like the chorus part." I read it again: "It's nothing compared to what I wrote before. It's her who sings well, not me who writes well." He said. "You are too demanding of yourself." I explained him. "Writing every day, there will always be a day of exhaustion." He sighed long. "Creation always has its ups and downs." He stared at me for a long time and said, "Thank you." "Among us, do we still need these two words?" he laughed. While walking on the beach, I asked him: "Do you have any dreams?" "Always been able to write your New Year's Eve song," he said. I thought his dream should be much bigger.I didn't expect his dream to be so small. "This dream is not small at all! It is a big test." He smiled. "What dreams do you have?" he asked. "I've been listening to your New Year's Eve song." As I spoke, my eyes became moist.I don't know if I was moved by him, or by myself? What a strange night it was?We laughed, we cried, and we laughed again.As the years go by, the unchanging dream is to be able to embrace the person you love, and embrace his smile and cry. One day, when I was old, someone asked me which period of my life was the happiest, maybe, I would say without hesitation, it was when I was in my teens.At that time, love had not yet come, and life was carefree; the most painful thing was just tests and exams.I felt a lot of pressure at the time, but looking back later, it was just so small. When love comes, of course it is also happy.However, this kind of happiness has to be paid, and we must learn to accept disappointment, pain and parting.From then on, life is no longer pure.Just as a woman sometimes misses her virginity, that doesn't mean she doesn't enjoy being in bed with the man she loves. In the years of virginity, even falling in love with a man is light.Later, when we became women, all love became heavier and became more weighty.At this time, we not only love a man with our hearts, but also with our bodies.I have a little flesh and blood relationship with this man. Zhu Dizhi slept with her first love, Deng Chufa, very early on.At that time, Shen Guanghui and I were almost jealous.I haven't met the man I love yet, haven't slept with him yet, I'm afraid I'll become an old maid.How ridiculous was the idea at that time? Afterwards, we all slept with the people we liked.Zhu Dizhi often said that she just "reached bliss earlier" than us. This girl who used to be unable to live without a man now has her own dream.She is working as a secretary in a law firm and at the same time enrolled in the university's distance law course, which is already in her second year.If all goes well, she will become a lawyer in three years.She wanted to be a lawyer since she was a child, and her grades in school were also very good. Later, because of her desperate love, she failed to pass the college entrance examination. "Recover the lost time." This is how she encouraged herself. Can the lost time be brought back?I think past love, whether long or short, sweet or bad, ultimately makes us strong.The passage of time, too, has its effect. On this day, Zhu Dizhi had just finished the exam, and she invited me and Shen Guanghui to her home for dinner.The house was rented by her last year.Live alone, you can concentrate on reading.She is very busy, and we spend much less time together than before, so we cherish every time we meet.Shen Guanghui was also busy with work in the surveying company. Last year, she broke up with the married man. Are all men like this?When that marriage becomes dull, they go out and find a love, love to death.Once their wives find out, they will go home dejected.There is never justice in the balance of choice.They will not run away from home with that third person. When Shen Guanghui came, he asked us excitedly: "Guess who you met just now?" "Who?" I asked. "Wang Yan!" she said. Wang Yan was our counselor in middle school. She was an old maid with a beard.Her own chastity was that of a schoolgirl, something she had defended all her life. "She is with a man, and her attitude is very intimate!" Shen Guanghui said. "Really?" Judy and I screamed in unison. "That man looks really good!" Shen Guanghui gritted his teeth with hatred. "Could it be a male whore?" one of Judy asked while making apple salad. "That man seems to be over forty years old, male prostitutes aren't that old, are they?" Shen Guanghui said. "Don't you know there are old prostitutes?" Zhu Dizhi said. "But," I said, "since you're looking for a male prostitute, you should find someone younger, right?" "Old prostitutes have the advantages of old prostitutes." Zhu Dizhi said seriously, "Thinking of Wang Yan, an extinct volcano, young men may not be able to burn her." In terms of sexual desire, Judy can't change it no matter what. "That man doesn't look like a male prostitute!" Shen Guanghui said, "I didn't expect Wang Yan to fall in love. Why do those ugly women often find a good-looking boyfriend?" One of Judy said while eating a salad: "Because they have a spirit of perseverance. Our conditions are so good that we are unwilling to pursue and please a man. These women will say to themselves: 'At least we have to get married once. !' They have an invincible force of will." "Yes, at least I have to get married once." Shen Guanghui said. "Do you want to get married?" I asked. "I don't even have a boyfriend now. How can I get married? Marriage is good. If I become a man's wife, then, even if he has fallen in love with another woman, he will always go home." "Among the three of us, who will get married first?" Judy asked. "Is that you?" I asked with a smile. "Although Chen Qizheng will be a very good husband, I still have to study! Before I become a lawyer, I will never marry." She said. Chen Qi is Zhu Dizhi's current classmate, and they have been dating for more than a year.He is a middle school teacher.Compared with all Judy's old lovers, he is the best.It was unimaginable that Zhu Di would fall in love with a teacher in the past, right? "Could it be you and Lin Fangwen?" Shen Guanghui said. Lin Fangwen doesn't want to get married, does he?He is a man who would rather embrace freedom and loneliness than embrace a warm family.He never proposed to me.Sometimes, I hate him for not proposing to me.I don't want him to marry me, I just want him to give up his freedom for me for a moment.I want to hear how he proposed to me. Those sweet words are also good to keep as a souvenir. A man like Lin Fangwen would never say: "Marry me!" or "Let me take care of you forever!" Are these words?To him, it was all too ordinary. With a smile full of vicissitudes on Judy's face, she said: "Chen Qizheng also proposed to me. That was what we said when we were making out. Is there any man who has not proposed to the woman he is embracing with the sweetest words on the bed? Who would take it seriously? It is just like caressing. Sex is better." However, Lin Fangwen has never given me such a caress.I really hate him!But he knew that he was such a person.In the deepest part of love, hate is also tender. Shen Guanghui was not pursued by no one.There is a male colleague who likes her very much, but unfortunately, he is three years younger than her and has never been in a relationship. "That's a boy scout! What's wrong?" Zhu Dizhi said. Shen Guanghui shook his head: "I don't want to be a scout leader!" "Do you like him?" I asked. She said: "He is nice, smart and cute, and he seems to be a very dedicated person." "Of course, otherwise, how could you not lose your virginity in your twenties." Zhu Dizhi usually uses the age at which he lost his virginity to evaluate a person's attitude towards relationships.The chance of error in this extrapolation method is very low, she said.For example, a woman who only lost her virginity at the age of thirty would never bother about it.A sixteen-year-old man who has lost his virginity, everyone should be careful. "When I was thirty, he was only twenty-seven. Isn't that terrible?" Shen Guanghui said. "Yes, maybe you have to spend a lot of money on skin care products to dare to go out with him!" I said. "When you reach menopause, he is still in his prime!" Zhu Dizhi said. "Maybe I will die earlier than him." Shen Guanghui said. "That's good." I said, "Reincarnated, I can be his daughter." "Then you have to die at a very young age!" Zhu Dizhi said. I think of Wei Lili.She is our classmate.She died of being hit in the head with a powerful discus thrown by a classmate at the sports meeting.That accident took her young life.Death, once very far away, is also very close to us.Has she reincarnated? If I die earlier than Lin Fangwen, I will be reincarnated and be his daughter.I really want to know, what kind of father would a man like Lin Fangwen be?I don't want to fall in love with him again in the next life, then there is still a chance to separate.I will be his daughter, with the blood of his body.I want to get the unrequited and all-consuming love that father has for his daughter.And, he will never leave me until death do us part again. Zhu Dizhi said: "If Chen Qizheng dies before me, I hope he will be my son in the next life. Then, he can continue to suck my milk. I like to see his satisfied look when he sucks." "Should I try to be with him?" Shen Guanghui said. "Who?" Judy and I asked in unison. "That little scout!" Shen Guanghui said angrily. Judy and I were so busy writing the story of reincarnation that we had already forgotten about her. Zhu Dizhi took away the record on the turntable and replaced it with Gemeler's new record.Her deep voice seemed to be singing a story of reincarnation. This "Heavenly Question" was written by Lin Fangwen. "She sings really well!" Zhu Dizhi said. Of course, she was discovered by Lin Fangwen. "Why didn't you propose to me?" In the bookstore, I asked Lin Fangwen. While lowering his head to read a book, he asked me: "do you want?" "I don't really want you to marry me, I'm just curious about how you would propose to me." "Marry me! Is this the way to propose?" He didn't know how frivolous he looked. "It's so ordinary, it's not like what you said." "You really want to get married?" "Of course not!" I closed the book in my hand. Why do I say no?I dare not admit it, I know he will refuse. "What book are you holding?" I took his book to read. That is a Buddhist scripture. He recently bought a lot of Buddhist books.Last month, he bought many books about Christianity.In the last month, he bought a lot of cookbooks.Although he bought so many cookbooks, he never made me a single dish. He is struggling to find inspiration.For Gomel's new record, he is only willing to write two songs.He doesn't want to repeat himself.In the past few years, he has written too much, and he is a little tired.what can i doI can't help. "Is there inspiration in Buddhist scriptures?" I asked him with a smile. "I don't know," he said. Then one day, he told me very seriously: "I'm going to be a monk." "Monk?" I almost cried. "It's the seven-day monk." He said calmly. "Just seven days?" I breathed a sigh of relief. "Yes, seven days." He looked expectant. It was an event held by a Buddhist temple for believers.Participants have to live with the monks in the monastery for seven days. In addition to wearing monk robes and fasting, they also have to chant scriptures and chant Buddha, just like monks, except that they do not need to be shaved.After seven days, you can return to the mortal world.This kind of event is held once a year, and hundreds of people participate each time. "You're not really going to be a monk, are you?" I asked him. "It's hard to say!" He deliberately teased me. "I want you to know that you are still in the world." I said while grabbing his hair. "If you go like this, wouldn't it be enough to end the fate?" "If you really go to become a monk, I will become a slut, and I can be a man!" I warned him. "I went to become a monk, shouldn't you become a nun? How do you become a slut?" "The nun is too cheap for you. Turning into a slut looking for men every day is the greatest revenge for you. At least, you will feel guilty every day and chant sutras for me every day to alleviate your own and my sins. In that case, although you In the monastery, there was not a single day when I was not in your heart. Right?" "You are so poisonous, you should be the one who becomes a monk! Well, for your chastity, I will not run to become a monk." Although he said so, I was really afraid that he would leave me to become a monk.He is a person who can do any weird things.If Lin Fangwen really went to become a monk, it would not be him, but me who would end his fate. Although the seven-day monk does not need to be shaved, Lin Fangwen still shaves his hair very short.This way, he said, he can become more involved in the lives of the monks. During the few days when he left me, my life was as plain as water.In the days like green vegetables and tofu, I miss him every moment.Is he used to it?Will he fall in love with that life?Will he be enlightened by a master and leave me from then on?How can I be a slut if he's gone?I just lied to him.However, it is impossible for me to become a nun.How can I meet him from now on without seeming to know him?I can not do it. When I met Zhu Dizhi, she asked me: "Is there a seven-day nun?" "There seems to be some." I said. "Then why didn't you tell me sooner?" "Do you want to become a monk for a while?" "You can take the opportunity to lose weight!" she said. I have heard such a story.A woman let go of a relationship and ran all the way from Taiwan to a monastery in India to become a monk, but she met a monk there.These two people turned out to be lovers in the previous life, and the unfavorable relationship was not resolved, they both returned to vulgarity and became husband and wife.The most pitiful thing was the man who made her a monk in order to fulfill her. “两个人一起，到底是尘缘还是孽缘呢？”我问。 “有些是尘缘，有些是孽缘，这就是人生吧！”朱迪之说。 过了一会，陈祺正来接我们去吃饭。 “喜欢吃什么？”陈祺正问我。 “吃素好吗？”我说。 他们两个人，同时怔怔的望着我，流露出一副可怜的模样。 “算了吧！我们去吃肉，我吃林方文的那一份。”我说。 林方文真的只去七天才好。 短暂出家结束的那一天，林方文从寺院回来。他瘦了一点，也苍白了。我跳到他身上，问他： “是不是七情六欲也没有了？” “谁说的？”他紧紧地搂着我，用舌头俏皮地舐我的鼻子和嘴巴。 我望着他。这七天来，我多么思念他。Does he know? “为什么不索性去七七四十九天？”我问他。 "You think I don't want to?" 他开朗了，是已经找到了灵感吧？ 他说，在寺院时，师父讲了一个佛经上的故事：一个女人，因为爱上了另一个男人，所以想要离弃丈夫，于是设计假死。她串通了别人，买了一具女子的尸体，让她的丈夫相信她已经死了。 她的丈夫伤心欲绝，只好把尸体火化。然而，他太爱她了，因此成天把她的骨灰带在身边，这样的深情感动了他的妻子。她离开了情夫，想要回到他身边。 那天，她悄悄地跟在丈夫的身后，叫唤他的名字，期待看到他既惊且喜的神情。然而，当她的丈夫转过身来看到她，只是淡漠的问她：“你是谁？” “我是你的妻子呀！”她说。 “不，我的妻子已经死了！而且是我亲手把她火化的。”她的丈夫坚定的说。 “那不是我，我根本没有死呀！”女人几乎快要崩溃了。他这样爱我，怎会忘记我的容貌呢？ 然而，无论她怎样解释，她的丈夫终究不相信跟前人便是他的妻子。 爱，是不能被试探和考验的。背叛丈夫的妻子以为她可以理所当然的安排丈夫的感情。可是，对伤心的丈夫来说，爱情或许已随谎言消逝。 爱会随谎言消逝吗？后来，我知道是会的。 从寺院回来之后，林方文写了好几首歌，唱片公司认为那些歌曲有点曲高和寡，想他修改一下。他一个字也不肯改。他们说：“为什么不继续写以前那些歌呢？最好不要改变。” 林方文努力去突破自己，他们却嫌他太突破了。 那天晚上，他在录音室里跟叶和田吵得很厉害，我站在外面，隔着玻璃，听不到他们吵什么。林方文从里面冲出来，头也不回的走了，我连忙追上去。 他一个人走在路上，我看得见那个背影是多么的颓唐。他曾经写过的、那些感动过无数人的歌，就在那一刻，一首一首的在我心中流转。我默默的、远远的走在他后面，我不知道我可以为他做些什么。我是多么的没用。 不知道这样走了多久之后，他忽然转过身来，微笑着问我： “你为什么走得这么慢，老师在我后头？” “我不知道怎样帮忙。”我说。 我多么希望我是个温柔的女人，在这个时刻，能够对他说一大串安慰的说话。可惜，我从来不是。 “没事吧？”他反过来安慰我。 “你是最好的。”我告诉他。 他笑了：“每个女人都认为她所爱的男人是最好的。” “我不是盲目的。”我说。 “盲目又有什么不好呢？只要是自己所爱的人，他的一切都是好的。这种盲目，是多么的幸福？人若能够盲目一辈子，也就是矢志不渝了。” “但你的确是最好的，这方面，我不盲目。” “我却希望自己能够盲目一点。盲目地相信自己永远是最好的，那样我才可以一直写下去，一直重复下去，不会想得那么多。” “你愿意这样吗？”我问。 “就是不愿意。”他双手插在裤袋，垂下了头，悲哀的说：“也许我再不适合写歌词了。” "Who said this?" “不写歌词，人生还有许多事情可以做的。”他抬起头来，微笑着说。 我苦涩地笑了：“为什么不是我安慰你，而是你倒过来安慰我呢？” “因为，你比较没用。”他用手拍了拍我的头。 林方文真的长大了。若是从前，今天晚上他会自己跑回家，忘了我在后面。他更不会堆出一张笑脸来安慰我。他是什么时候长大了的呢？是在他妈妈死了之后吗？是的，我现在是他唯一的亲人了。一个长大了的林方文，会不会快乐一点？ 我知道他舍不得不写歌词。在那里，他找到了自己。那是他最引以为傲的事。要他放弃，他是不甘心的。 “别这样了，你看看今天晚上的月光多么漂亮。”他用手抬了抬我的下巴，要我看看天上的月光。 那一轮圆月，在这一刻，不免有点冷漠了。 “为什么古往今来，几乎所有情人都要看月光，所有作家也都歌颂月光，用月光来谈情？”我有点不以为然的说：“天空上还有太阳、星星和云彩呀！” “因为只有月亮才有阴晴圆缺。” “星星也有不闪耀的时候。” “可是，它的变化没有月亮那么多。” “彩虹更难得呢！” “你有权不喜欢月光的。”他拿我没办法。 “你喜欢吗？”我问他。 "like." “那我也喜欢。”我说。 他摇了摇头： “果然是盲目的。” “你不是说一辈子的盲目也是一种幸福吗？” “没想到你盲目到这个境地。” “不是彻底的盲目，哪有彻底的幸福？” “啊，是吗？” “我知道为什么爱情总离不开月光了。”我说。 "why?" “因为大家都是黄色的。色情呀！” “我说不是。” “那为什么？” “因为月亮是所有人都无法关掉的一盏灯。它是长明灯。” “听说，不久的将来，人类可以把死人的骨灰用火箭发射上太空，撒在月球的表面，生生不息地在太空中围绕着地球运转。” “死了之后，才到月球漫步？是不是太晚了一点？” “毕竟是到过月球呀！” “如果我先死，你要把我射上月亮去吗？”他露出害怕的神情跟我开玩笑。 “把你射了上去比较好。把你射了上去，那么，以后月亮也会唱歌了。把我射了上去，什么也不能做，还是跟从前的月光一样。” “不一样的。”他说。 “为什么不一样？” “把你射了上去，那么，每夜的月光，就是我一个人的灯。” “你会把它关掉吗？” “是关不掉的。” 从那天晚上开始，我也像大部分人一样，爱上了天上的月光。每个人看到的月光，也都是不一样的吧？自己看的，跟和情人一起看的，也都是不同的。林方文的月光，跟我的月光，曾经是重叠的吗？那重叠的一部分是整个月光那么大，还是像钱币那么小？ 有大半年的日子，林方文没有再写歌词。没有了他，每个人的歌也还是继续唱的，只是没那么好听。 有一阵子，他天天躲在家里画漫画。我以为他会改行当漫画家，可是他没有。那些漫画也不可能出版，因为它们全都是没有对白的。他讨厌写字。 过了一阵子，他常常一个人在下午时分跑去教堂。我以为他要当神父了，原来他只是喜欢躺在长木椅子上，看着教堂里的彩绘玻璃。他可以在那里待一个下午。 又过了一阵子，他爱上了电影，但是，他只看卡通片。 也是一个月满的晚上，我们从电影院出来。he told me: “童年时，我的偶像是大力水手。” “我还以为你会喜欢那个反派的布鲁图呢。”我说。 "why?" “你就是这么古怪。” “我不喜欢他，因为他没有罐头菠菜。大力水手只要吃一口罐头菠菜，就变得很厉害了。我本来不吃菠菜的，看了《大力水手》之后，我吃了很多菠菜。” “那个时候，我们为什么都喜欢大力水手呢？他长得一点也不英俊，几乎是没有头发的，身体的比例也很难看，手臂太粗了。”我说。 “就是因为那罐菠菜。谁不希望任何时候自己身边也有一罐神奇菠菜，吃了便所向披靡，无所不能。” 有哪个小孩子不曾相信世上真的有神奇的魔法，在我们软弱无助的时候拯救我们？可是，当我们长大了，我们才沉痛地知道，世上并没有魔法。 能有一种魔法，让林方文再写歌词吗？ 我们走着的时候，他的魔法出现了。 一辆车子突然停在我们面前，两个人从车上跳了下来，是葛米儿、威威和莫札特他们一家三口。莫札特长大了很多，它已经不是一团毛茸茸的小东西。现在的它，超过三斤半了。这天晚上，它长长的脖子上绑着金色的丝带，在威威怀里，好奇地东张西望。 “很久不见了！”葛米儿兴高采烈的拉着我和林方文。 她现在已经红了很多。人红了，连带她那个曾经受尽批评的义大利粉头也吐气扬眉，许多少女都模仿她的发型。 “你们去哪里？为什么带着莫札特一起？”我问。 “我现在去拍音乐录影带，莫札特也出镜了。”她深情款款的扫着莫札特的羽毛。 “那么，它岂不是成了'明星鹅'吗？”我笑了。 “是的！是的！它还会唱歌呢！”威威兴奋的说。 “不是说'鹅公喉'吗？鹅也能唱歌？”我说。 “它不是鹅公，它是鹅女。”威威跟莫札特说：“来，我们唱歌给哥哥姐姐听。” 莫札特伸长了脖子啼叫：“刮刮——刮刮刮刮刮——刮瓜——” “果然很有音乐细胞，不愧叫做莫札特。”我拍拍它的头赞美它。它的头缩了一下，很幸福的样子。 那是我最后一次见莫札特了。 临走的时候，葛米儿问林方文： “你还会写歌词吗？” 他大笑：“是写给莫札特唱的吗？那太容易了，只需要写'刮瓜'——” “是写给我唱的。”葛米儿诚恳的说，“很想念你的歌词。” 林方文只是微笑，没有回答。 他们走了，我们也沉默了。 从那天晚上开始，我和林方文看到的月光也有一点不一样了。我不是大力水手的那罐神奇菠菜，我没有能力拯救他。那个魔法，在葛米儿手里。 当她的义大利粉头被歌迷接受了，葛米儿却狠心地把它剪掉，变成一条一条短而卷曲的头发，活像一盘通心粉。她是个偏偏喜欢对着干的人，她也比以前更有自信了。有时候，我很佩服她。我们每一个人，几乎每天也要为自己打气，才可以离开家门，面对外面那个充满挫败的世界；她却不需要这样，她好象天生下来已经满怀自信。 一天，她跟唱片监制叶和田说，除了林方文的词，她不唱别的。 “不是我们不用他，是他一个字也不肯改。他写的那么古怪，不会流行的。”叶和田说。 “他是最好的。”葛米儿说。 “说不定他已经江郎才尽了，最好的日子，已经过去了。”叶和田冷漠的说。 “不。”葛米儿说，“我能够把他唱得比以前更红。” 本来是：没有林方文，也就没有她。他把她从那个遥远的岛屿召唤回来。他是她的知音。 今天是：有她，也就有林方文。她把他从那个满心挫败的世界召唤回来。她是他的知音。既出于报答，也出于欣赏。有谁会怀疑林方文是最好的呢？他只是欠缺了新的刺激。 终于，林方文抛下了他的佛经、他的漫画，还有教堂的彩绘玻璃和那些卡通片，重返那个他最爱的、既令他快乐、也令他痛苦的世界。 看见他重新提起笔杆写歌词，看见他再一次拿着我很久以前送给他的那把乐风牌口琴，吹出每一个音符，我的心情竟然有点激动。有那么一刻，我巴不得把他藏在我的子宫里；那是一个最安全的怀抱，他不会再受到任何的伤害。可惜，我的子宫太小了，而他也已经长大了。 这一刻，他的头枕在我的大腿上。I asked him: “我把你放在我的子宫里好吗？” 他的脸贴住我的肚皮，问：“环境好吗？” “不错的，到现在还没有人住过。” “要付租金的吗？” “算你便宜一点。” “地方太小了吧？” “那么，你变成袋鼠吧！”我说。 “袋鼠不是更大吗？” “你可以把我放在你的怀中的袋子里，你去哪里，也得带着我。” “这样太恐怖了。”他跳起来说。 “你不愿意吗？” “夏天太热了。” “但是，冬天保暖呀！” “香港的夏天比较长。” “你是怎样也不肯把我放在口袋里的吧？” “我宁愿住在你的子宫里。” "real?" “现在就住进去。”我跳到他身上。 “你会不会爱上葛米儿？”我问他。 “我为什么会爱上她？”他露出一副不可能的神情。 “她了解你的音乐。”我说。 “她不是有威威了吗？我才不要住进的子宫里。”他说。 林方文真的愿意长留在我身上吗？有时候，我会宁愿我们比现在年老一点。年纪大了，也没有那么多的诱惑，那就比较有可能共度一辈子了。这种想法，会不会很傻？竟然愿意用青春去换取长相厮守的可能。 一天大清早，我在西贡市集里碰到威威。他正在买水果。俊俏可爱的他，很受摊贩欢迎。看到我时，他热情地拉着我，问我为什么会在那里出现。我告诉他，我在附近采访。 “记者的工作好玩吗？”他问。 “可以认识很多不同的人。”我说。 “有工作真好。”他说。 我差点儿忘记了，他在这里是不能工作的。 “葛米儿呢？” “她出去了，今天大清早要到电视台录影。” “那莫札特呢？” “它胖了，现在有四斤半啦！可能要减肥。” 我陪着他逛市集，他又买了牛奶和面包。大家都认得他是葛米儿的男朋友，对他很友善。 “怀念斐济吗？”我问。 他重重的点了一下头：“我怀念那里所有的东西。妈妈做的菜、爸爸的烟斗味，甚至是那个从前常常欺负我的同学。” “欺负你的人，你也怀念？” “他是我小学和中学的同学，他常常骗我的钱。”他幸福地回味着，“从前很讨厌他，现在却希望回去再被他骗钱。那里毕竟是我的故乡。” “为什么不回去看看？”我说。 “米儿太忙了。”他的神情有点落寞。 “她在这里发展得很好呀！” 他笑得很灿烂：“是的，她现在很快乐，她可以做自己喜欢做的事。” 那一刻，我深深被威威感动了。为了自己所爱的人的快乐，他承受了寂寞，也怀抱着乡愁。望着他的背影没入挤拥的人群之中，我忽然明白，没有牺牲的爱情，算不上爱情。 后来有一天，威威在我的办公室出现，他变憔悴了。 “我是来跟你道别的。”他说。 “你要去哪里？”我问。 “回去斐济。” “那葛米儿呢？” “我一个人回去。”他的眼睛也红了。 “威威，到底发生了什么事？” “没什么的，只是我不适应这里的生活。” "is that true?" 他低下了头，良久说不出话来。 “我们去喝杯咖啡吧！” 我把他拉到报馆附近的一家咖啡店。那里可以看到海。我想，在大海的旁边，他的心情会好一点。 “是不是太思念故乡了？”我问。 他摇了摇头：“我是不舍得她的。可是，我们的世界已经不一样了。” 葛米儿从一个藉藉无名的女孩子摇身一变，成为一颗明星。一点也没有改变，是不可能的吧？ “你不是答应过要陪她一起追寻梦想的吗？”我说。 “我也许想得太简单了。”悲伤的震颤。 “她知道你要走吗？” “我们谈过了。”他笑了笑，“我们终于找到时间谈一谈我们之间的事了。我留在这里只会妨碍她。” “是她说的吗？” “不。她并不想我走。” “那不要走好了。” “可是，她已经不需要我了。” “你还爱她吗？” “我当然爱她。”威威说着说着流下了眼泪：“但是，她已经改变了，不再是从前的她。我们在斐济的时候，生活快乐得多了。” “你是不是后悔来了这里？” “我怎会这样自私呢？留在斐济，是埋没了她。” “威威，你真好。”我说。 “我一点也不好。我没有才能，也不聪明，人又脆弱。” “但你懂得爱人。” “我也爱得不好。”他的眼泪簌簌的流下来。 “你什么时候要走？” “今天就走。” “这么急？” “米儿今天要工作，我们说好了，她不要来送机。我会哭的，我们从来没有分开过。” “要我送你去机场吗？” “不，千万不要。我害怕别离的。” 他又说：“我听人说，离开了自己的家乡，会有乡愁。然而，回去家乡之后，又会怀念那个自己住过的的城市。这样的话，总共就有两次乡愁了。” 我难过得说不出话来。 “我还有一件事情要告诉你。”威威说。 "What's up?" “我——”他红着眼睛说。 “到底是什么事？” “我把莫札特吃了！” “你吃了莫札特！”我不敢相信。 “你一定觉得我很残忍吧？” “你怎舍得吃它？” “米儿舍不得让它走，我也舍不得让它留下。我走了，米儿又没有时间照顾它。把它吃进肚子里，那么，它便可以永远留在我身上。”威威一边抹眼泪一边说。 我不也是曾经想过要把自己心爱的人藏在子宫里，长留在身上的吗？爱情，原来是凄美的吞噬。但愿我的身体容得下你，永不分离。 我同情莫札特，只是，它的主人也许没有更好的选择。它是不应该叫莫札特的，天才横溢的莫札特，是短命的。 告别的时刻，威威久久地握着我的手。他是舍不得的。我曾经以为，相爱的人是无论如何也不会分开的，也许我错了。当生活改变了，爱也流逝了。如果他还能够感受到爱，他是不会走的吧？故乡是近，已然流逝的爱，却太遥远了。 “程韵，我刚巧在附近，你有没有时间出来喝杯咖啡？”我在家里接到葛米儿打来的电话。 我们在咖啡室见面。架着太阳眼镜的她，看来有点累。 “威威走了。”她说。 “我知道。临走的那天，他
The bluest and bluest sky dissolves in the wind and waves of the Arctic Ocean. So say the ray, so say the whale, The sky is water plants soaked in blue, soaked in blue The sky of tears left there.
In the grasslands of the East, every laurel, every Bread trees are separated by a distance that will never meet; The flowers and fruits have fallen, and each plant still embraces The thickest and thickest yearning climbs to the bluest and bluest sky.
Let me ask you, the bluest and bluest is the penguin sky? The sky of the whale, or the sky of the bread tree? But you answer: It is the closest to the vulture, and the farthest from sorrow; It is the sky of your childhood, the sky that covers Tibet.
Gone are the days of youth, thought All partings are just for reunion; When I'm near you, for the last time, In my heart, I said, there was also the bluest sky, Because of you, that year, the sky was high; the trees were green and verdant. On New Year's Eve in 1992, Lin Fangwen and I walked together again.It's just that I don't know which day he will leave me again. It was a thunderstorm night in the summer of 1993.He sent me back to my home on Wong Nai Chung Road, Happy Valley.It was raining heavily, and we stood under an old banyan tree to shelter from the rain.I pointed to my chest and said to him: "What I'm wearing is a bra with wire." He swept my drenched back with his hands and asked me: "So what?" "If I was struck by thunder, I would die, and now I hold your hand, and you will die with me." "Then don't we become Thunderbolt?" he said with a smile. "On June 30, 1997, the eve of Hong Kong's return to the motherland, will we still be together?" "If we're not struck by lightning for a while—" He looked up at the sky. At that time, I did not expect that on the eve of Hong Kong's return, there would be a thunderstorm as big as this night. "So, on December 31, 1999, will we still be together?" I asked him. He smiled: "If you're willing to take off your underwire bra now, it might be possible if we don't have to die." Every time he said these things, he was not serious. "I don't want you, but I want the Millennium New Year's Eve song. You said yes." "Do you want songs but not people?" "Songs outlast people," I said. At that moment, the millennium was still far away.Sometimes, I don't know whether we are born in this era, whether we are happy or unlucky.In a thousand years, we have not yet come to this world; in three thousand years, we cannot still be alive.We who are young can see the coming of two thousand years.Just because there is such a day, we are very afraid of being alone. "Cheng Yun, you are such a troublesome person." Lin Fangwen said. "Yes, I'm here to trouble you," I said. "Have you ever seen a bread tree?" I asked him. He shook his head. "I saw it once, in Thailand," I said. "When the bread tree blooms, the flowers are like bread, with male and female flowers." "Male and female flowers?" "Yes, there are male flowers and there are female flowers. There are men and there are women." Suddenly, with a bang, thunder struck. "Let's go!" He took my hand. "It's still raining!" I said. "Standing under a tree during thunderstorms, do you want to seek death? I don't want to hear tomorrow's news that the famous lyricist Lin Fang died under a wire bra worn by his girlfriend." "Don't hold my hand and you'll be fine." "You won't let me go." "Would you cry if I died?" I asked. He didn't answer me.If I really die, is it impossible for him not to cry?Farewell, between us, is unimaginable. "Leave me alone!" he finally replied. "No way!" I said. If loving him is a kind of addiction, I may still be willing to indulge for a lifetime. Not long after that rainy day, Lin Fangwen discovered a girl, her name was Gomel.At that time, Lin Fangwen's studio had been dismantled, and he was doing lyrics writing alone, and he was already very famous.Gemeler recommended himself.The record company also receives many tapes from men and women who dream of being a singer every day, and no one really listens to them.One day, Lin Fangwen accidentally saw the tape sent by Gemeler in the office of record producer Ye Hetian.Her tapes, unlike the others, were contained in a coconut shell.Lin Fangwen likes strange things the most. "If you want to listen, take it back and listen slowly!" Ye Hetian gave Lin Fangwen the tape and the coconut shell. That night, Lin Fangwen gave me the coconut shell. "It's also good for drinking water," he said. He put the tape on the record player, and a deep female voice suddenly flowed.It was the first song Lin Fangwen gave me - "Tomorrow". Her voice is an unforgettable voice.Even if you only hear it once, thirty years later, you will not forget it.I am a tone-deaf person; however, I also know that it is the sound of nature, which does not seem to belong to this world. I saw a wonderful change in the expression on Lin Fangwen's face.His eyes sparkled. "This guy is going to be a hit," he said. There was only one name on the tape—Gammel. "Where's the coconut shell? The address might be on the coconut shell," he said. I found that coconut shell in the kitchen.Gomel's address was indeed posted under the coconut shell; however, it was an address in the Fiji Islands.She lived on this remote island in the South Pacific, no wonder she sent her songs in coconut shells.She might even belly dance. "She was born to sing." Lin Fangwen said. I am very curious about her appearance. What kind of face does a woman with such a voice have?Why did she sing the first New Year's Eve song that Lin Fangwen wrote to me?Later, I realized that there was a reason for that. When I finally met Gomel, it was after she came back and made her first record. Lin Fangwen recommended her to producer Ye Hetian.She received a notice from the record company and returned from Fiji immediately.After getting off the plane, she went directly to the record company from Kai Tak Airport.Although she has a unique singing voice, her appearance is a bit strange after all, and she is not a traditional sweet girl.The record company didn't dare to take risks, and was only willing to release a mini album for her. The five songs in the album were all written by Lin Fangwen. In order to promote that record, and to confirm Lin Fangwen's vision, I asked Gemeler to do an interview.Before meeting, I asked Lin Fangwen: "Is she really not pretty at all?" "Have you ever seen a monkey?" he asked. "A monkey with a big mouth," he said. We met at the beach cafe in Nanwan, and I wanted to take a series of photos for her with sunshine and beaches. Here she comes, and her mouth is really big.Those crying children in the cartoons, every time they cry loudly, only the mouth and two front teeth remain, and the eyes and nose disappear.Gomel has such a mouth, no wonder her vocal range is so wide. Yes, she is like a monkey.She was tall and thin, with a long chin and sunken cheeks.However, you know that monkeys usually have a pair of pitiful and moving eyes. She has a bronze skin, which is the sunshine of Fiji.Her hair was like a dish full of spaghetti. Today, she was wearing a singlet and shorts, and I saw a small tattoo on her left ankle.That tattoo is Linus.Linus is one of the main characters in Charlie Schultz's Peanuts.This little boy is insecure, perpetually cuddled with a blanket, and talks philosophically. Why not the beloved Snoopy but Linus?I forgot to ask her. Come with Gomel, there is also a boy who looks like a native of Fiji.The boy was dark-skinned and had curly hair that looked like a spring.He is handsome and strong.Like Gomel, he was wearing a singlet and shorts. "His name is Weiwei." Gemel introduced to us. Why did Gemel bring a lovely native here?Could Weiwei be her bodyguard? "How are you?" Weiwei said with a smile showing his white teeth. It turns out that he can speak Chinese fluently. "Wei Wei is of mixed Chinese and Fijian descent. His father opened a Chinese restaurant in Fiji." Gemel said. While we were doing the interview, Weiwei went swimming. "Wei Wei is my boyfriend. He will probably stay here with me forever and will not go back to Fiji." Gemel said. "It's rare!" I said. "Yes, he said that he would accompany me to pursue my dream." She said frankly. Gomel, who was sitting in front of me with her knees in her arms, was very young, only nineteen years old. "I had just come back from the beach and I was still in my bathing suit when I got the notification from the record company," she said. "Have you always wanted to be a singer?" "My father said that if I don't sing, I will waste the voice that God gave me." She is full of confidence. At the age of nine, Gomel emigrated from Hong Kong to Fiji with her family.Her parents run a local bar.Gomel and her three older sisters sing in the bar every night. "The bar is doing really well because everyone comes to hear us sing," she said. "Have you ever been to Fiji?" she asked me. "not yet." "You must come! It is a very beautiful place. If you come to Fiji, don't forget to visit my bar. Our family lives upstairs from the bar. Although our life is not rich, we live Very happy." Then, she told me: "It's been a year since the tape was mailed to the record company, and I thought it was gone forever." "Yes, it almost became like this." "Then I'd probably spend my life singing in Fiji bars and belly dancing occasionally. What brought me back from that island?" That's chance, right?Later, I knew better that her return was an irreversible fate. "Why did you choose the song "Tomorrow"?" I asked her. "I love the lyrics," Gomel said. "I heard it for the first time in a Chinese restaurant after I broke up with my boyfriend. The last two lines made me cry." "Did that boy break your heart?" She shook her head: "I'm the one who wants to break up. 'Affection is a burden I can't afford'. I'm afraid others love me too much." "What about Weiwei?" "He's different. I love him a little more. Don't think he's so strong. He's actually very childish." We talked for a long time, but Wei Wei has not come back yet.There was no sign of him on the beach either. "Do you want to go to him?" I asked Gemel. "Don't worry, he's fine." Gemel said lightly. Yes, I don't have any reason to doubt the swimming skills of a native Fijian.Even if he is accidentally washed up on a deserted island, he may still be able to live happily on the island for the rest of his life. When the interview was almost over, Weiwei finally came back.In the setting sun, his freshly tanned skin shone beautifully golden.It turned out that he swam to an empty beach and fell asleep. The interview was over, and Gemel and Weiwei left hand in hand. Before leaving, she said to me: "You are so lucky! There is a man who writes such beautiful lyrics for you. I will sing every song for you in the future." She is so forthright and confident.Watching her and Weiwei disappear into the afterglow of the setting sun, for a moment, I wondered if it was right or wrong to call them back from that distant island country?Can the two adapt to the rush of love and hate, disappointment and frustration in this city? Gemel is lucky, there is a man who loves her and is willing to accompany her to the ends of the earth to find her dream.What dreams do I have of myself?Being a reporter in a daily newspaper is a job I like, but is it also my dream?Will Lin Fangwen be willing to let go of everything and accompany me to travel the world to pursue my dreams? What is love?Is it to fulfill the dream of the other party, even at the expense of hiding yourself? Dreams may be a luxury, and most men and women can stay together for a lifetime without dreams. Will Gemel and Weiwei regret coming back? They should have stayed on that small island in the South Pacific. Gomel's record came out, and it did very well.Although it didn't become a dramatic hit, for a newcomer, it was finally noticed.Her upside-down spaghetti-like hair and her odd looks have drawn plenty of criticism.Gomel didn't seem to care at all.She is so confident that she doesn't care what others think of her, and she doesn't intend to change herself. One day, Gomel suddenly appeared at the newspaper office where I worked. "Why are you here?" I wondered. "I came here specifically to thank you for the interview you wrote for me," she said. "You're welcome." I said the truth, half of that interview was for Lin Fangwen. "Wei Wei and I rented a house in Xiangsi Bay, Sai Kung. There is a beach there, so Weiwei can go swimming every day," she said happily. These two Fijians finally settled down in Hong Kong.Weiwei is on a tourist visa and cannot work in Hong Kong. He can only accompany Gomel to go around or stay at home.The house on the beach brought them closer to their hometown. "When are you and Lin Fangwen free, can you come to my house for dinner? I really want to thank you both. You two are the only friends Wei Wei and I have in Hong Kong." Gemel said. "Let me ask Lin Fangwen." "If he doesn't come, you have to come too! Weiwei is very good at cooking." Gemel said enthusiastically. "Is he always this strange?" She suddenly asked me again. "You mean Lin Fangwen?" "Well, I often walk alone, it seems that I don't need friends." "He's changed a lot, you didn't see him in college, it was weirder then." "Are you college classmates?" "Well. Once separated, and then together again." "There is a kind of magic among the indigenous people of Fiji. It is said that a woman can use this magic to keep a man's heart." Gemel said. "Really? What kind of spell?" I was curious. But Gemel said mysteriously: "Don't be greedy! I heard that people who don't really need it shouldn't know this kind of spell. I hope you never need to know it." Am I really as she said, too greedy?If there was a magic in the world that could keep a loved one by your side forever, who wouldn't want to know? "Would you like to eat Weiwei's cooking?" I asked Lin Fangwen. "Fijian food, isn't it delicious?" he said. "They didn't say they were cooking Fijian food. Wei Wei's family owns a Chinese restaurant, maybe it's cooking Chinese food." "The Chinese food made by that native must be terrible." "Strictly speaking, he's not native," I said. "I guess he cooks Italian food," he said. "How do you know?" "If you don't like Italian food, how can you fall in love with that spaghetti?" he said. "Gemier would like to thank you very much, after all, you discovered her." "It's her own talent, so she doesn't need to thank me. I don't write lyrics for free." He said lightly. "Shall we go and see their house?" "If you want to go, then I will go with you." I laughed. "What are you laughing at?" he asked. "Nothing." I said. Lin Fangwen really changed.He used to be selfish, withdrawn and weird.Now, although he is still so selfish, he has become much more steadfast and has learned to give for others.Where I want to go, even if he doesn't want to go, he will accompany me.How could these things be possible before?He has matured and become cute.However, the changed him is more adaptable to this world?Or will it be more likely to be hurt by reality? Gomel and Whisper live in a two-story country house.There is a small pond outside the house, and a five-minute walk is the beach.It was dusk when we arrived that day.Wearing an apron, Weiwei came out of the kitchen and said cheerfully: "You must have guessed it, I am going to cook an Italian meal today." Lin Fangwen is really amazing. "I can't cook, I can only eat." Gemel said. A small furry mass suddenly passed by my ankle, startling me.I looked down and saw a gosling with light brown feathers swaggering around the room. "Is it for eating? It seems to be too young." Lin Fangwen looked at the gosling and said. ""Mozart" is a pet we just raised, not for eating." Gemel said quickly. "This goose is called Mozart?" Lin Fangwen asked. "Weiwei likes to listen to Mozart." Gemel said. They even kept a goose as a pet. Wei Wei hugged Mozart and said affectionately: "The goose will guard the door, and it will bite strangers." He looked at Mozart and said, "Of course, this will have to wait until it grows up." "It's a female goose, and it will lay eggs in the future," Gemel said. "Do you want to eat those goose eggs?" I asked. "If it is not fertilized, you can eat it. If it is fertilized, it is Mozart's own flesh and blood, so of course you can't eat it." Gemel said. Their home seems to be a children's paradise, and these are two people who will not grow up, will never grow up, and may be happy. Weiwei’s Italian food is not like Italian, French, or Chinese. It is probably his own improved Fiji-style Italian food, which is far from the realm of delicious food. Far. "Do you miss home?" I asked Gomel. “Life here is more colorful than in Fiji; it’s just that I haven’t dived for a long time and I really want to dive,” she said. "Mier is a diving instructor." Wei Wei said. "Can you dive?" Gemel asked Lin Fangwen and me. I shook my head. "If there is a chance, I will teach you two to dive." At that moment, I didn't think about learning to dive, and Lin Fangwen didn't show much interest. "You don't know how beautiful the bottom of Fiji is!" Gemel's face was full of fascination. "Aren't you afraid of danger?" I asked. "There, you will forget the danger and all the troubles. You are a fish in the sea, swimming towards happiness. At that moment, you even forget the world and yourself." Gomel used her moving words said the voice. "Forget yourself? That's fine." Lin Fangwen seemed to be yearning for it too. At that time, who would have thought that this island country in the South Pacific was the place where my soul would die? It was late at night, and Mozart fell asleep.He slept in a kennel because there were no special kennels for geese in pet stores. When saying goodbye, Gemeler said to Lin Fangwen seriously: "Thank you for writing the lyrics for me." "That's nothing." Lin Fangwen said lightly. After leaving Gemel and Weiwei's house, I said to Lin Fangwen, "Shall we go to the beach? Isn't there a beach nearby?" We lay on that peaceful and dark beach.I said, "It's nice to live in a house by the sea, right?" Lin Fangwen suddenly laughed and said, "They call that goose Mozart!" Yes, we were all embarrassed to laugh in front of Gomel and Weiwei just now. "It's not very good to be called Mozart. Mozart only lived to be thirty-five years old." I said. "Thirty-five years old is already impossible for a goose. Goose is usually eaten when it reaches three and a half catties!" He laughed again as he spoke. "Gamille thanked you sincerely, why don't you seem to appreciate it?" I asked. "Those poems are really nothing, I don't think I wrote them well." Lin Fangwen said. "I think it's good! I like the chorus part." I read it again: "It's nothing compared to what I wrote before. It's her who sings well, not me who writes well." He said. "You are too demanding of yourself." I explained him. "Writing every day, there will always be a day of exhaustion." He sighed long. "Creation always has its ups and downs." He stared at me for a long time and said, "Thank you." "Among us, do we still need these two words?" he laughed. While walking on the beach, I asked him: "Do you have any dreams?" "Always been able to write your New Year's Eve song," he said. I thought his dream should be much bigger.I didn't expect his dream to be so small. "This dream is not small at all! It is a big test." He smiled. "What dreams do you have?" he asked. "I've been listening to your New Year's Eve song." As I spoke, my eyes became moist.I don't know if I was moved by him, or by myself? What a strange night it was?We laughed, we cried, and we laughed again.As the years go by, the unchanging dream is to be able to embrace the person you love, and embrace his smile and cry. One day, when I was old, someone asked me which period of my life was the happiest, maybe, I would say without hesitation, it was when I was in my teens.At that time, love had not yet come, and life was carefree; the most painful thing was just tests and exams.I felt a lot of pressure at the time, but looking back later, it was just so small. When love comes, of course it is also happy.However, this kind of happiness has to be paid, and we must learn to accept disappointment, pain and parting.From then on, life is no longer pure.Just as a woman sometimes misses her virginity, that doesn't mean she doesn't enjoy being in bed with the man she loves. In the years of virginity, even falling in love with a man is light.Later, when we became women, all love became heavier and became more weighty.At this time, we not only love a man with our hearts, but also with our bodies.I have a little flesh and blood relationship with this man. Zhu Dizhi slept with her first love, Deng Chufa, very early on.At that time, Shen Guanghui and I were almost jealous.I haven't met the man I love yet, haven't slept with him yet, I'm afraid I'll become an old maid.How ridiculous was the idea at that time? Afterwards, we all slept with the people we liked.Zhu Dizhi often said that she just "reached bliss earlier" than us. This girl who used to be unable to live without a man now has her own dream.She is working as a secretary in a law firm and at the same time enrolled in the university's distance law course, which is already in her second year.If all goes well, she will become a lawyer in three years.She wanted to be a lawyer since she was a child, and her grades in school were also very good. Later, because of her desperate love, she failed to pass the college entrance examination. "Recover the lost time." This is how she encouraged herself. Can the lost time be brought back?I think past love, whether long or short, sweet or bad, ultimately makes us strong.The passage of time, too, has its effect. On this day, Zhu Dizhi had just finished the exam, and she invited me and Shen Guanghui to her home for dinner.The house was rented by her last year.Live alone, you can concentrate on reading.She is very busy, and we spend much less time together than before, so we cherish every time we meet.Shen Guanghui was also busy with work in the surveying company. Last year, she broke up with the married man. Are all men like this?When that marriage becomes dull, they go out and find a love, love to death.Once their wives find out, they will go home dejected.There is never justice in the balance of choice.They will not run away from home with that third person. When Shen Guanghui came, he asked us excitedly: "Guess who you met just now?" "Who?" I asked. "Wang Yan!" she said. Wang Yan was our counselor in middle school. She was an old maid with a beard.Her own chastity was that of a schoolgirl, something she had defended all her life. "She is with a man, and her attitude is very intimate!" Shen Guanghui said. "Really?" Judy and I screamed in unison. "That man looks really good!" Shen Guanghui gritted his teeth with hatred. "Could it be a male whore?" one of Judy asked while making apple salad. "That man seems to be over forty years old, male prostitutes aren't that old, are they?" Shen Guanghui said. "Don't you know there are old prostitutes?" Zhu Dizhi said. "But," I said, "since you're looking for a male prostitute, you should find someone younger, right?" "Old prostitutes have the advantages of old prostitutes." Zhu Dizhi said seriously, "Thinking of Wang Yan, an extinct volcano, young men may not be able to burn her." In terms of sexual desire, Judy can't change it no matter what. "That man doesn't look like a male prostitute!" Shen Guanghui said, "I didn't expect Wang Yan to fall in love. Why do those ugly women often find a good-looking boyfriend?" One of Judy said while eating a salad: "Because they have a spirit of perseverance. Our conditions are so good that we are unwilling to pursue and please a man. These women will say to themselves: 'At least we have to get married once. !' They have an invincible force of will." "Yes, at least I have to get married once." Shen Guanghui said. "Do you want to get married?" I asked. "I don't even have a boyfriend now. How can I get married? Marriage is good. If I become a man's wife, then, even if he has fallen in love with another woman, he will always go home." "Among the three of us, who will get married first?" Judy asked. "Is that you?" I asked with a smile. "Although Chen Qizheng will be a very good husband, I still have to study! Before I become a lawyer, I will never marry." She said. Chen Qi is Zhu Dizhi's current classmate, and they have been dating for more than a year.He is a middle school teacher.Compared with all Judy's old lovers, he is the best.It was unimaginable that Zhu Di would fall in love with a teacher in the past, right? "Could it be you and Lin Fangwen?" Shen Guanghui said. Lin Fangwen doesn't want to get married, does he?He is a man who would rather embrace freedom and loneliness than embrace a warm family.He never proposed to me.Sometimes, I hate him for not proposing to me.I don't want him to marry me, I just want him to give up his freedom for me for a moment.I want to hear how he proposed to me. Those sweet words are also good to keep as a souvenir. A man like Lin Fangwen would never say: "Marry me!" or "Let me take care of you forever!" Are these words?To him, it was all too ordinary. With a smile full of vicissitudes on Judy's face, she said: "Chen Qizheng also proposed to me. That was what we said when we were making out. Is there any man who has not proposed to the woman he is embracing with the sweetest words on the bed? Who would take it seriously? It is just like caressing. Sex is better." However, Lin Fangwen has never given me such a caress.I really hate him!But he knew that he was such a person.In the deepest part of love, hate is also tender. Shen Guanghui was not pursued by no one.There is a male colleague who likes her very much, but unfortunately, he is three years younger than her and has never been in a relationship. "That's a boy scout! What's wrong?" Zhu Dizhi said. Shen Guanghui shook his head: "I don't want to be a scout leader!" "Do you like him?" I asked. She said: "He is nice, smart and cute, and he seems to be a very dedicated person." "Of course, otherwise, how could you not lose your virginity in your twenties." Zhu Dizhi usually uses the age at which he lost his virginity to evaluate a person's attitude towards relationships.The chance of error in this extrapolation method is very low, she said.For example, a woman who only lost her virginity at the age of thirty would never bother about it.A sixteen-year-old man who has lost his virginity, everyone should be careful. "When I was thirty, he was only twenty-seven. Isn't that terrible?" Shen Guanghui said. "Yes, maybe you have to spend a lot of money on skin care products to dare to go out with him!" I said. "When you reach menopause, he is still in his prime!" Zhu Dizhi said. "Maybe I will die earlier than him." Shen Guanghui said. "That's good." I said, "Reincarnated, I can be his daughter." "Then you have to die at a very young age!" Zhu Dizhi said. I think of Wei Lili.She is our classmate.She died of being hit in the head with a powerful discus thrown by a classmate at the sports meeting.That accident took her young life.Death, once very far away, is also very close to us.Has she reincarnated? If I die earlier than Lin Fangwen, I will be reincarnated and be his daughter.I really want to know, what kind of father would a man like Lin Fangwen be?I don't want to fall in love with him again in the next life, then there is still a chance to separate.I will be his daughter, with the blood of his body.I want to get the unrequited and all-consuming love that father has for his daughter.And, he will never leave me until death do us part again. Zhu Dizhi said: "If Chen Qizheng dies before me, I hope he will be my son in the next life. Then, he can continue to suck my milk. I like to see his satisfied look when he sucks." "Should I try to be with him?" Shen Guanghui said. "Who?" Judy and I asked in unison. "That little scout!" Shen Guanghui said angrily. Judy and I were so busy writing the story of reincarnation that we had already forgotten about her. Zhu Dizhi took away the record on the turntable and replaced it with Gemeler's new record.Her deep voice seemed to be singing a story of reincarnation. This "Heavenly Question" was written by Lin Fangwen. "She sings really well!" Zhu Dizhi said. Of course, she was discovered by Lin Fangwen. "Why didn't you propose to me?" In the bookstore, I asked Lin Fangwen. While lowering his head to read a book, he asked me: "do you want?" "I don't really want you to marry me, I'm just curious about how you would propose to me." "Marry me! Is this the way to propose?" He didn't know how frivolous he looked. "It's so ordinary, it's not like what you said." "You really want to get married?" "Of course not!" I closed the book in my hand. Why do I say no?I dare not admit it, I know he will refuse. "What book are you holding?" I took his book to read. That is a Buddhist scripture. He recently bought a lot of Buddhist books.Last month, he bought many books about Christianity.In the last month, he bought a lot of cookbooks.Although he bought so many cookbooks, he never made me a single dish. He is struggling to find inspiration.For Gomel's new record, he is only willing to write two songs.He doesn't want to repeat himself.In the past few years, he has written too much, and he is a little tired.what can i doI can't help. "Is there inspiration in Buddhist scriptures?" I asked him with a smile. "I don't know," he said. Then one day, he told me very seriously: "I'm going to be a monk." "Monk?" I almost cried. "It's the seven-day monk." He said calmly. "Just seven days?" I breathed a sigh of relief. "Yes, seven days." He looked expectant. It was an event held by a Buddhist temple for believers.Participants have to live with the monks in the monastery for seven days. In addition to wearing monk robes and fasting, they also have to chant scriptures and chant Buddha, just like monks, except that they do not need to be shaved.After seven days, you can return to the mortal world.This kind of event is held once a year, and hundreds of people participate each time. "You're not really going to be a monk, are you?" I asked him. "It's hard to say!" He deliberately teased me. "I want you to know that you are still in the world." I said while grabbing his hair. "If you go like this, wouldn't it be enough to end the fate?" "If you really go to become a monk, I will become a slut, and I can be a man!" I warned him. "I went to become a monk, shouldn't you become a nun? How do you become a slut?" "The nun is too cheap for you. Turning into a slut looking for men every day is the greatest revenge for you. At least, you will feel guilty every day and chant sutras for me every day to alleviate your own and my sins. In that case, although you In the monastery, there was not a single day when I was not in your heart. Right?" "You are so poisonous, you should be the one who becomes a monk! Well, for your chastity, I will not run to become a monk." Although he said so, I was really afraid that he would leave me to become a monk.He is a person who can do any weird things.If Lin Fangwen really went to become a monk, it would not be him, but me who would end his fate. Although the seven-day monk does not need to be shaved, Lin Fangwen still shaves his hair very short.This way, he said, he can become more involved in the lives of the monks. During the few days when he left me, my life was as plain as water.In the days like green vegetables and tofu, I miss him every moment.Is he used to it?Will he fall in love with that life?Will he be enlightened by a master and leave me from then on?How can I be a slut if he's gone?I just lied to him.However, it is impossible for me to become a nun.How can I meet him from now on without seeming to know him?I can not do it. When I met Zhu Dizhi, she asked me: "Is there a seven-day nun?" "There seems to be some." I said. "Then why didn't you tell me sooner?" "Do you want to become a monk for a while?" "You can take the opportunity to lose weight!" she said. I have heard such a story.A woman let go of a relationship and ran all the way from Taiwan to a monastery in India to become a monk, but she met a monk there.These two people turned out to be lovers in the previous life, and the unfavorable relationship was not resolved, they both returned to vulgarity and became husband and wife.The most pitiful thing was the man who made her a monk in order to fulfill her. “两个人一起，到底是尘缘还是孽缘呢？”我问。 “有些是尘缘，有些是孽缘，这就是人生吧！”朱迪之说。 过了一会，陈祺正来接我们去吃饭。 “喜欢吃什么？”陈祺正问我。 “吃素好吗？”我说。 他们两个人，同时怔怔的望着我，流露出一副可怜的模样。 “算了吧！我们去吃肉，我吃林方文的那一份。”我说。 林方文真的只去七天才好。 短暂出家结束的那一天，林方文从寺院回来。他瘦了一点，也苍白了。我跳到他身上，问他： “是不是七情六欲也没有了？” “谁说的？”他紧紧地搂着我，用舌头俏皮地舐我的鼻子和嘴巴。 我望着他。这七天来，我多么思念他。Does he know? “为什么不索性去七七四十九天？”我问他。 "You think I don't want to?" 他开朗了，是已经找到了灵感吧？ 他说，在寺院时，师父讲了一个佛经上的故事：一个女人，因为爱上了另一个男人，所以想要离弃丈夫，于是设计假死。她串通了别人，买了一具女子的尸体，让她的丈夫相信她已经死了。 她的丈夫伤心欲绝，只好把尸体火化。然而，他太爱她了，因此成天把她的骨灰带在身边，这样的深情感动了他的妻子。她离开了情夫，想要回到他身边。 那天，她悄悄地跟在丈夫的身后，叫唤他的名字，期待看到他既惊且喜的神情。然而，当她的丈夫转过身来看到她，只是淡漠的问她：“你是谁？” “我是你的妻子呀！”她说。 “不，我的妻子已经死了！而且是我亲手把她火化的。”她的丈夫坚定的说。 “那不是我，我根本没有死呀！”女人几乎快要崩溃了。他这样爱我，怎会忘记我的容貌呢？ 然而，无论她怎样解释，她的丈夫终究不相信跟前人便是他的妻子。 爱，是不能被试探和考验的。背叛丈夫的妻子以为她可以理所当然的安排丈夫的感情。可是，对伤心的丈夫来说，爱情或许已随谎言消逝。 爱会随谎言消逝吗？后来，我知道是会的。 从寺院回来之后，林方文写了好几首歌，唱片公司认为那些歌曲有点曲高和寡，想他修改一下。他一个字也不肯改。他们说：“为什么不继续写以前那些歌呢？最好不要改变。” 林方文努力去突破自己，他们却嫌他太突破了。 那天晚上，他在录音室里跟叶和田吵得很厉害，我站在外面，隔着玻璃，听不到他们吵什么。林方文从里面冲出来，头也不回的走了，我连忙追上去。 他一个人走在路上，我看得见那个背影是多么的颓唐。他曾经写过的、那些感动过无数人的歌，就在那一刻，一首一首的在我心中流转。我默默的、远远的走在他后面，我不知道我可以为他做些什么。我是多么的没用。 不知道这样走了多久之后，他忽然转过身来，微笑着问我： “你为什么走得这么慢，老师在我后头？” “我不知道怎样帮忙。”我说。 我多么希望我是个温柔的女人，在这个时刻，能够对他说一大串安慰的说话。可惜，我从来不是。 “没事吧？”他反过来安慰我。 “你是最好的。”我告诉他。 他笑了：“每个女人都认为她所爱的男人是最好的。” “我不是盲目的。”我说。 “盲目又有什么不好呢？只要是自己所爱的人，他的一切都是好的。这种盲目，是多么的幸福？人若能够盲目一辈子，也就是矢志不渝了。” “但你的确是最好的，这方面，我不盲目。” “我却希望自己能够盲目一点。盲目地相信自己永远是最好的，那样我才可以一直写下去，一直重复下去，不会想得那么多。” “你愿意这样吗？”我问。 “就是不愿意。”他双手插在裤袋，垂下了头，悲哀的说：“也许我再不适合写歌词了。” "Who said this?" “不写歌词，人生还有许多事情可以做的。”他抬起头来，微笑着说。 我苦涩地笑了：“为什么不是我安慰你，而是你倒过来安慰我呢？” “因为，你比较没用。”他用手拍了拍我的头。 林方文真的长大了。若是从前，今天晚上他会自己跑回家，忘了我在后面。他更不会堆出一张笑脸来安慰我。他是什么时候长大了的呢？是在他妈妈死了之后吗？是的，我现在是他唯一的亲人了。一个长大了的林方文，会不会快乐一点？ 我知道他舍不得不写歌词。在那里，他找到了自己。那是他最引以为傲的事。要他放弃，他是不甘心的。 “别这样了，你看看今天晚上的月光多么漂亮。”他用手抬了抬我的下巴，要我看看天上的月光。 那一轮圆月，在这一刻，不免有点冷漠了。 “为什么古往今来，几乎所有情人都要看月光，所有作家也都歌颂月光，用月光来谈情？”我有点不以为然的说：“天空上还有太阳、星星和云彩呀！” “因为只有月亮才有阴晴圆缺。” “星星也有不闪耀的时候。” “可是，它的变化没有月亮那么多。” “彩虹更难得呢！” “你有权不喜欢月光的。”他拿我没办法。 “你喜欢吗？”我问他。 "like." “那我也喜欢。”我说。 他摇了摇头： “果然是盲目的。” “你不是说一辈子的盲目也是一种幸福吗？” “没想到你盲目到这个境地。” “不是彻底的盲目，哪有彻底的幸福？” “啊，是吗？” “我知道为什么爱情总离不开月光了。”我说。 "why?" “因为大家都是黄色的。色情呀！” “我说不是。” “那为什么？” “因为月亮是所有人都无法关掉的一盏灯。它是长明灯。” “听说，不久的将来，人类可以把死人的骨灰用火箭发射上太空，撒在月球的表面，生生不息地在太空中围绕着地球运转。” “死了之后，才到月球漫步？是不是太晚了一点？” “毕竟是到过月球呀！” “如果我先死，你要把我射上月亮去吗？”他露出害怕的神情跟我开玩笑。 “把你射了上去比较好。把你射了上去，那么，以后月亮也会唱歌了。把我射了上去，什么也不能做，还是跟从前的月光一样。” “不一样的。”他说。 “为什么不一样？” “把你射了上去，那么，每夜的月光，就是我一个人的灯。” “你会把它关掉吗？” “是关不掉的。” 从那天晚上开始，我也像大部分人一样，爱上了天上的月光。每个人看到的月光，也都是不一样的吧？自己看的，跟和情人一起看的，也都是不同的。林方文的月光，跟我的月光，曾经是重叠的吗？那重叠的一部分是整个月光那么大，还是像钱币那么小？ 有大半年的日子，林方文没有再写歌词。没有了他，每个人的歌也还是继续唱的，只是没那么好听。 有一阵子，他天天躲在家里画漫画。我以为他会改行当漫画家，可是他没有。那些漫画也不可能出版，因为它们全都是没有对白的。他讨厌写字。 过了一阵子，他常常一个人在下午时分跑去教堂。我以为他要当神父了，原来他只是喜欢躺在长木椅子上，看着教堂里的彩绘玻璃。他可以在那里待一个下午。 又过了一阵子，他爱上了电影，但是，他只看卡通片。 也是一个月满的晚上，我们从电影院出来。he told me: “童年时，我的偶像是大力水手。” “我还以为你会喜欢那个反派的布鲁图呢。”我说。 "why?" “你就是这么古怪。” “我不喜欢他，因为他没有罐头菠菜。大力水手只要吃一口罐头菠菜，就变得很厉害了。我本来不吃菠菜的，看了《大力水手》之后，我吃了很多菠菜。” “那个时候，我们为什么都喜欢大力水手呢？他长得一点也不英俊，几乎是没有头发的，身体的比例也很难看，手臂太粗了。”我说。 “就是因为那罐菠菜。谁不希望任何时候自己身边也有一罐神奇菠菜，吃了便所向披靡，无所不能。” 有哪个小孩子不曾相信世上真的有神奇的魔法，在我们软弱无助的时候拯救我们？可是，当我们长大了，我们才沉痛地知道，世上并没有魔法。 能有一种魔法，让林方文再写歌词吗？ 我们走着的时候，他的魔法出现了。 一辆车子突然停在我们面前，两个人从车上跳了下来，是葛米儿、威威和莫札特他们一家三口。莫札特长大了很多，它已经不是一团毛茸茸的小东西。现在的它，超过三斤半了。这天晚上，它长长的脖子上绑着金色的丝带，在威威怀里，好奇地东张西望。 “很久不见了！”葛米儿兴高采烈的拉着我和林方文。 她现在已经红了很多。人红了，连带她那个曾经受尽批评的义大利粉头也吐气扬眉，许多少女都模仿她的发型。 “你们去哪里？为什么带着莫札特一起？”我问。 “我现在去拍音乐录影带，莫札特也出镜了。”她深情款款的扫着莫札特的羽毛。 “那么，它岂不是成了'明星鹅'吗？”我笑了。 “是的！是的！它还会唱歌呢！”威威兴奋的说。 “不是说'鹅公喉'吗？鹅也能唱歌？”我说。 “它不是鹅公，它是鹅女。”威威跟莫札特说：“来，我们唱歌给哥哥姐姐听。” 莫札特伸长了脖子啼叫：“刮刮——刮刮刮刮刮——刮瓜——” “果然很有音乐细胞，不愧叫做莫札特。”我拍拍它的头赞美它。它的头缩了一下，很幸福的样子。 那是我最后一次见莫札特了。 临走的时候，葛米儿问林方文： “你还会写歌词吗？” 他大笑：“是写给莫札特唱的吗？那太容易了，只需要写'刮瓜'——” “是写给我唱的。”葛米儿诚恳的说，“很想念你的歌词。” 林方文只是微笑，没有回答。 他们走了，我们也沉默了。 从那天晚上开始，我和林方文看到的月光也有一点不一样了。我不是大力水手的那罐神奇菠菜，我没有能力拯救他。那个魔法，在葛米儿手里。 当她的义大利粉头被歌迷接受了，葛米儿却狠心地把它剪掉，变成一条一条短而卷曲的头发，活像一盘通心粉。她是个偏偏喜欢对着干的人，她也比以前更有自信了。有时候，我很佩服她。我们每一个人，几乎每天也要为自己打气，才可以离开家门，面对外面那个充满挫败的世界；她却不需要这样，她好象天生下来已经满怀自信。 一天，她跟唱片监制叶和田说，除了林方文的词，她不唱别的。 “不是我们不用他，是他一个字也不肯改。他写的那么古怪，不会流行的。”叶和田说。 “他是最好的。”葛米儿说。 “说不定他已经江郎才尽了，最好的日子，已经过去了。”叶和田冷漠的说。 “不。”葛米儿说，“我能够把他唱得比以前更红。” 本来是：没有林方文，也就没有她。他把她从那个遥远的岛屿召唤回来。他是她的知音。 今天是：有她，也就有林方文。她把他从那个满心挫败的世界召唤回来。她是他的知音。既出于报答，也出于欣赏。有谁会怀疑林方文是最好的呢？他只是欠缺了新的刺激。 终于，林方文抛下了他的佛经、他的漫画，还有教堂的彩绘玻璃和那些卡通片，重返那个他最爱的、既令他快乐、也令他痛苦的世界。 看见他重新提起笔杆写歌词，看见他再一次拿着我很久以前送给他的那把乐风牌口琴，吹出每一个音符，我的心情竟然有点激动。有那么一刻，我巴不得把他藏在我的子宫里；那是一个最安全的怀抱，他不会再受到任何的伤害。可惜，我的子宫太小了，而他也已经长大了。 这一刻，他的头枕在我的大腿上。I asked him: “我把你放在我的子宫里好吗？” 他的脸贴住我的肚皮，问：“环境好吗？” “不错的，到现在还没有人住过。” “要付租金的吗？” “算你便宜一点。” “地方太小了吧？” “那么，你变成袋鼠吧！”我说。 “袋鼠不是更大吗？” “你可以把我放在你的怀中的袋子里，你去哪里，也得带着我。” “这样太恐怖了。”他跳起来说。 “你不愿意吗？” “夏天太热了。” “但是，冬天保暖呀！” “香港的夏天比较长。” “你是怎样也不肯把我放在口袋里的吧？” “我宁愿住在你的子宫里。” "real?" “现在就住进去。”我跳到他身上。 “你会不会爱上葛米儿？”我问他。 “我为什么会爱上她？”他露出一副不可能的神情。 “她了解你的音乐。”我说。 “她不是有威威了吗？我才不要住进的子宫里。”他说。 林方文真的愿意长留在我身上吗？有时候，我会宁愿我们比现在年老一点。年纪大了，也没有那么多的诱惑，那就比较有可能共度一辈子了。这种想法，会不会很傻？竟然愿意用青春去换取长相厮守的可能。 一天大清早，我在西贡市集里碰到威威。他正在买水果。俊俏可爱的他，很受摊贩欢迎。看到我时，他热情地拉着我，问我为什么会在那里出现。我告诉他，我在附近采访。 “记者的工作好玩吗？”他问。 “可以认识很多不同的人。”我说。 “有工作真好。”他说。 我差点儿忘记了，他在这里是不能工作的。 “葛米儿呢？” “她出去了，今天大清早要到电视台录影。” “那莫札特呢？” “它胖了，现在有四斤半啦！可能要减肥。” 我陪着他逛市集，他又买了牛奶和面包。大家都认得他是葛米儿的男朋友，对他很友善。 “怀念斐济吗？”我问。 他重重的点了一下头：“我怀念那里所有的东西。妈妈做的菜、爸爸的烟斗味，甚至是那个从前常常欺负我的同学。” “欺负你的人，你也怀念？” “他是我小学和中学的同学，他常常骗我的钱。”他幸福地回味着，“从前很讨厌他，现在却希望回去再被他骗钱。那里毕竟是我的故乡。” “为什么不回去看看？”我说。 “米儿太忙了。”他的神情有点落寞。 “她在这里发展得很好呀！” 他笑得很灿烂：“是的，她现在很快乐，她可以做自己喜欢做的事。” 那一刻，我深深被威威感动了。为了自己所爱的人的快乐，他承受了寂寞，也怀抱着乡愁。望着他的背影没入挤拥的人群之中，我忽然明白，没有牺牲的爱情，算不上爱情。 后来有一天，威威在我的办公室出现，他变憔悴了。 “我是来跟你道别的。”他说。 “你要去哪里？”我问。 “回去斐济。” “那葛米儿呢？” “我一个人回去。”他的眼睛也红了。 “威威，到底发生了什么事？” “没什么的，只是我不适应这里的生活。” "is that true?" 他低下了头，良久说不出话来。 “我们去喝杯咖啡吧！” 我把他拉到报馆附近的一家咖啡店。那里可以看到海。我想，在大海的旁边，他的心情会好一点。 “是不是太思念故乡了？”我问。 他摇了摇头：“我是不舍得她的。可是，我们的世界已经不一样了。” 葛米儿从一个藉藉无名的女孩子摇身一变，成为一颗明星。一点也没有改变，是不可能的吧？ “你不是答应过要陪她一起追寻梦想的吗？”我说。 “我也许想得太简单了。”悲伤的震颤。 “她知道你要走吗？” “我们谈过了。”他笑了笑，“我们终于找到时间谈一谈我们之间的事了。我留在这里只会妨碍她。” “是她说的吗？” “不。她并不想我走。” “那不要走好了。” “可是，她已经不需要我了。” “你还爱她吗？” “我当然爱她。”威威说着说着流下了眼泪：“但是，她已经改变了，不再是从前的她。我们在斐济的时候，生活快乐得多了。” “你是不是后悔来了这里？” “我怎会这样自私呢？留在斐济，是埋没了她。” “威威，你真好。”我说。 “我一点也不好。我没有才能，也不聪明，人又脆弱。” “但你懂得爱人。” “我也爱得不好。”他的眼泪簌簌的流下来。 “你什么时候要走？” “今天就走。” “这么急？” “米儿今天要工作，我们说好了，她不要来送机。我会哭的，我们从来没有分开过。” “要我送你去机场吗？” “不，千万不要。我害怕别离的。” 他又说：“我听人说，离开了自己的家乡，会有乡愁。然而，回去家乡之后，又会怀念那个自己住过的的城市。这样的话，总共就有两次乡愁了。” 我难过得说不出话来。 “我还有一件事情要告诉你。”威威说。 "What's up?" “我——”他红着眼睛说。 “到底是什么事？” “我把莫札特吃了！” “你吃了莫札特！”我不敢相信。 “你一定觉得我很残忍吧？” “你怎舍得吃它？” “米儿舍不得让它走，我也舍不得让它留下。我走了，米儿又没有时间照顾它。把它吃进肚子里，那么，它便可以永远留在我身上。”威威一边抹眼泪一边说。 我不也是曾经想过要把自己心爱的人藏在子宫里，长留在身上的吗？爱情，原来是凄美的吞噬。但愿我的身体容得下你，永不分离。 我同情莫札特，只是，它的主人也许没有更好的选择。它是不应该叫莫札特的，天才横溢的莫札特，是短命的。 告别的时刻，威威久久地握着我的手。他是舍不得的。我曾经以为，相爱的人是无论如何也不会分开的，也许我错了。当生活改变了，爱也流逝了。如果他还能够感受到爱，他是不会走的吧？故乡是近，已然流逝的爱，却太遥远了。 “程韵，我刚巧在附近，你有没有时间出来喝杯咖啡？”我在家里接到葛米儿打来的电话。 我们在咖啡室见面。架着太阳眼镜的她，看来有点累。 “威威走了。”她说。 “我知道。临走的那天，他