Chapter 17 Part 17

161 The empty playground was filled one after another with students pouring out of the teaching building. A large black mass. On the radio, the dean of students was auditioning, and various tones of "Hello", "Hello", "Hello" echoed in the air.Among the restless students in the line, someone clearly cursed "Hey you fucker". The restless crowd formed countless long lines. The radio music in the air stopped.The entire playground fell silent within a minute. The same Monday meeting every week. On the rostrum stood the Dean of Students, and beside him was Yi Yao who stood with his hands down and his head bowed.

After the director finished his routine opening remarks, he pointed at Yi Yao who was next to him: "Students, the student you see standing on the stage now is a negative teaching material to warn you. You have to ask What did she do? She had sex with unscrupulous people outside the school. She got pregnant and had an abortion without permission.” The crowd below the rostrum suddenly exploded with a bang.Like a pot of boiling water, bubbling and bubbling. Yi Yao raised his head and looked down at the dense crowd below.Through countless faces with different expressions, mocking, surprised, sighing, sympathetic, and indifferent faces.She saw Qi Ming standing in the crowd looking at her.

Watched by him from afar. That elongated sad look. His eyes were wet in the sun, like a mirror with a flowing river. Yi Yao's eye sockets slowly turned red. The dean of training was still telling about Yi Yao's misdeeds on the rostrum.Saliva flew out from time to time under the light and sprayed under the microphone.In the middle of the speech, there was suddenly no sound.He patted the microphone, but found no response. Behind the wall of the rostrum, Gu Senxi threw the few wires and sockets that had just been pulled out into the grass, then turned and left. Yi Yao seemed to have lost his strength, and slowly squatted down on the rostrum, and finally sat on the ground.Tears fell on the concrete floor and quickly seeped into them.

Qi Ming raised his hand and rubbed it along the eye sockets. 162 It's been a long time since school. There were not many people left in the classroom, Qi Ming stood at the door of the classroom, looking at Yi Yao in the classroom against the light. The setting sun was getting darker outside the window.The orange-yellow light slowly turns to a darkened dark red over time. No one turned on the fluorescent lights in the classroom, and the air was densely distributed with spots like film film. Yi Yao carefully put the books into the bag one by one.Then he tidied up the stationery in the drawer, pulled out the chair and stood up, carrying the schoolbag on his shoulders.

When walking out of the classroom door, he passed by Qi Ming. "Let's go home together." Qi Ming gently held her. Yi Yao shook his head, lightly brushed Qi Ming's hand away, turned and walked into the corridor. Qi Ming stood at the door of the classroom, his heart was like the blue sky in the morning after being blown by the wind all night, it was so empty and painful. A wheat field after harvest, if you've ever stood on it, if you've ever seen that flourishing growth turn barren overnight, into remnants of straw and scorched earth. Then you must be able to feel such a mood.

When Yi Yao walked out of the corridor, he saw Gu Senxi standing in the dim light. He silently reached out to himself, took the schoolbag from Yi Yao's hand, and put it into his bicycle basket.He pushed the cart and walked outside, saying in a dull voice, "Come up, I'll see you off." Sitting in Gu Senxi's car, Yi Yao turned around and saw the huge teaching building shrouded in the endless darkness of dusk.The setting sun disappeared quickly, and the street lights had not had time to light up. It is the darkest time. Yi Yao looked at the building receding towards him in front of him, and Qi Ming who was invisible but could clearly feel Qi Ming standing silently at the door of the classroom in the building, and something seemed to be falling apart rapidly in his heart.It was like a hillside that had been soaked by the rain all summer had finally collapsed with a bang.

What's the use of clinging to straws if you haven't learned to swim yourself. It's just pulling the straw that was floating on the water to the bottom of the lake.Just one more buried thing. Yi Yao closed his eyes, and slowly pressed his face to Gu Senxi's broad back. Beneath the shirt was his hot, youthful skin.The healthy and clean taste can be clearly identified in the dark. Cross the school track. Through the noisy street at the door. Pass through the intersection of countless traffic lights. Towards a future that I will never be able to see clearly. Gu Senxi narrowed his eyes, feeling the cool breeze of early summer blowing towards him.A large area of ​​the back was wet with warm liquid.

He stepped on it a few times, and then he was in the vast dark sea of ​​people. 163 Such sad metaphors are everywhere in life. As in the past, you and I walked towards the exit of the source of light every morning. It is also like now that he is carrying me, slowly leaving you who was abandoned by me in the darkness.In fact, when the bicycle wheel slowly took me away from you, I really felt the feeling of being abandoned by the familiar world bit by bit. When that world gave up on me, I also slowly let go. There will never be mornings like that again. 164 No one in the alley knew when Lin Huafeng died.

She stood on the stool to get the top box in the closet.He didn't step on his feet firmly, fell backwards, and the back of his head landed on the ground. He died without even making a sound. Yi Yao opened the door and saw darkness. She turned on the light and saw Lin Huafeng lying quietly on the ground. She walked over slowly to try to wake her up, only to find that she had no breathing or heartbeat. Yi Yao stood in the room stupidly, and after a while he raised his hand and slapped himself. A few dull thunderclaps rolled overhead. Then I heard the fine sound of rain falling on the roof.

The long rainy season. 165 Still think of Qi Ming countless times. During recess.in the dream.on the road. A slightly cool morning with drizzling rain.Evaporate pond water into a sweltering afternoon. There are pigeons flying from the window to the blue sky in the evening, and the setting sun fills the window sill with warm and familiar light. Many, many times, Qi Ming's face with a faint expression, that face with a gentle expression that flows with warmth all the time, will emerge in his memory shallowly. Although it was soaked in the solution of time and lost the details that should be intact, there is still a deep-rooted part that survives tenaciously in the heart.

Every day, blood flows through that place and then back to the whole body. 166 It seems that there is no way to find the way back. It's like the little girl in a fairy tale once scattered bread crumbs along the road, and then bravely walked into the dark forest.But when she became lonely and afraid, she turned around and found that the trivial things she had left behind had been eaten away by the passing birds. He also raised such a group of gluttonous birds with his own hands. So one day, retribution generally swallowed up his way back. It was as if by accident the hand on the wrist suddenly stopped.It's like trying to reset the correct time, but I can't find the position where the pointer should stay. There was no way of knowing what time it was. Because you never know when time will stand still. 167 Yi Yao still dreams about her mother a lot. After many days passed, she was finally able to call out the word "Mom" calmly.And the days when I called Lin Huafeng every day, it was like being swept by the wind to a distant sea. In fact, when Lin Huafeng died, he wanted to get the tin box on the top of the cabinet.There was nothing but an envelope in the box, and the envelope said "distant tuition". There was some money in the envelope, and two personal accident insurance policies, and the beneficiary was Yi Yao. It seems that in the previous days, I was angry because my name on Qi Ming's phone was not "Yaoyao" but "Yiyao".But in fact, in an unintentional place in the world, some people have been calling themselves Yaoyao for a long time.It's just that such a title was sealed in an iron box, and at the end of the day, at the cost of death, I let myself hear it. Yi Yao rejected the court's suggestion to live with Yi Jiayan. She felt that it was fine to live alone in the alley. It's just that Qi Ming is no longer in the alley. Because of the absence of Lin Huafeng's relationship, the relationship between Yi Yao and his neighbors has changed from tit-for-tat at the beginning to indifference now.Sometimes when Yi Yao sees others turning on the faucet in his home, he just turns it on without saying a word.Nor would he say such ugly words as Lin Huafeng. I leave the alley every morning before dawn and come back after dark. Lying on my mother's bed, I didn't sleep peacefully. When the summer just started, Qi Ming's family moved into a well-furnished high-end apartment. "I heard that you can see the surface of the river over there." Yi Yao helped Qi Ming pack his suitcases and casually said something. "Yes, come and play when you have time." Qi Ming narrowed his eyes and smiled. "En." When leaving, he briefly said such words. There were probably some other trivial conversations, and I couldn't remember them right now. I only remember that it rained in the evening when Qi Ming left.The floor of the alley was wet.While complaining about the horrible weather, Li Wanxin walked outside with her skirt in small steps.The truck parked at the entrance of the alley was full of furniture. When passing by Yi Yao, Li Wanxin stopped, opened her mouth to say something, but finally just sighed and left without saying anything. In fact, Yi Yao understands all this.She knew it all in her heart. She stood at the door of the house and waved to Qi Ming.He in the twilight is the same as in memory, always so good-looking The tender face made the heartbeat slow down. It is also rare to meet in school. At the end of the first year of high school, the grades were divided into fast and slow classes.Qi Ming went to the fast class as a matter of course, while Yi Yao stayed in the original class.Unexpectedly, Tang Xiaomi made a serious mistake in the exam, and Liu down with resentment. It is still an unstoppable friction with her. But Yi Yao gradually became indifferent. Occasionally, lying on the railing of the corridor between classes, one could see Qi Ming in a white shirt in the opposite corridor walking towards the office with his homework in his arms. His figure can still be distinguished from the dense crowd.Still, no matter how far away he is, he can cast his gaze far away. Yi Yao looked at the blue sky above his head. eighteen years old. 168 Because of the class relationship, most of the time, Qi Ming and Gu Senxiang go home together.Most of the time, Qi Ming and Yi Yao go home together. "What? Abandoned?" Yi Yao led the car and followed Qi Ming towards the outside of the school. "Yes, she stayed and the students went back to the meeting. A busy person." Qi Ming stroked his hair and smiled embarrassedly. Yi Yao looked at Qi Ming who was smiling in front of him, and his heart felt like a river flowing through his heart. All his previous emotions and fluctuations were buried by the fine sand at the bottom of the river.I don't know when it will be exposed to the sun again by the movement of the earth's crust, and I don't know if it has become a fossil at that time, or it has been worn down until there is nothing left.These are the most beautiful things in my youth, flashing like tears, and sinking to the bottom of the river for a long time. Day by day, Qi Ming, who had left his own world, became bright again. Every day glows more dazzling brilliance. No longer have to accompany myself slowly through the cold and long dark alley. "Let's go." "En." Qi Ming nodded, raised his slender legs and stepped onto the bicycle. The two merged into the huge traffic flow. After passing a few intersections, at the next fork, I waved goodbye. After riding out for a few steps, Yi Yao turned his head, and could still see Qi Ming who was also turning his head to look at him in the setting sun. So he laughed vaguely in the twilight. Most of the time, Gu Senxi would wait for him to leave school with his bicycle at the entrance of the corridor. The two of them rode their bicycles, slowly killing each dusk.Like Qi Ming, he is a man of few words.So most of the time, it's silent.Or when Yi Yao told a joke in today's class, Gu Senxi curled his lips in disdain after hearing it. I will also sit with him on the empty stands of the playground and blow the air.Or watch him play football. In early summer, there will be fire clouds every evening.Sweat drenched the T-shirt and turned into imprints when it was spilled on the grass. Maybe when I come back many years later, these imprints will come out from the ground, dance in the pupils, and turn into sad tears. Clouds rolling across the sky. "I went to the doctor yesterday." Gu Senxi drank water with a serious face. "Sick?" Yi Yao turned his head to the side, watching him pass a towel over with the sweat streaming down his temples. "The heart is not good, there is always a noise in the heartbeat, and the heart rate is irregular. Maybe I won't live long." "You're lying!" Yi Yao raised his hand and patted him on the head, "It's nothing but bad luck!" Gu Senxi opened her hand and said impatiently: "I didn't lie to you, you can listen to it yourself if you don't believe me." Yi Yao pressed her face to his chest, her heart beating neatly and vigorously, just about to raise her head to curse, but suddenly she was hugged tightly by the surrounding arms and couldn't move. In his ear is the heavy, powerful slow heartbeat in his chest. One by one, it seemed to be transmitted from the world in the sky. The old gates of the school were completely demolished. Even the deserted pool was filled up together. On the day of the demolition, many students gathered around to watch, because there was directional blasting, and it sounded like that. Standing in the distance, Gu Senxi said to Yi Yao who was beside him, when I helped you get books out of the water in the winter, did you have a feeling of "he will not marry you"? Yiyao raised his foot and kicked over, "I'm going to vomit." Then there was a bang, and the tall old school gate in front of it collapsed straight down. On the ear is Gu Senxi's hand stretched out in time. So almost never heard the deafening sound of the explosion. Yi Yao raised his hand to press his face, and gently placed it on Gu Senxi's hand. The leaves flourish in season. The sunlight is divided by countless green spaces.The spot of light shone on the back of the white shirt and moved back and forth. I don't remember how many times I have crossed this downhill with Qi Ming and tall camphor trees on both sides. "Kissed?" "Ah?" Qi Ming was startled, and the car shook a few times. "I mean, you kissed Gu Senxiang, right?" Yi Yao turned to look at Qi Ming who was walking side by side.His face slowly turned red under the strong light. "Did Sensi tell you?" "Yep." "She even told me not to tell it. Didn't she tell my brother?" Qi Ming lowered his head and laughed. "Don't push yourself too hard, be careful of overplaying." Yi Yao smiled slightly. What kind of mood was that? It's like slowly pouring a cup of drink called sadness into another cup of drink called happiness in an open-air cafe on the side of the road on a sunny afternoon.Slowly stir, stir, stir.A small cloud evaporated and enveloped himself. "She won't let me go further. She's so conservative. After the last kiss, she won't let me kiss her. She shouldn't be too good at protecting herself." Yi Yao smiled awkwardly. After realizing it, Qi Ming hurriedly said with a little guilt: "I didn't mean that..." Yi Yao smiled and shook his head, "It's okay, she has seen me have a miscarriage before. She must be on guard against boys, she should." "I'm sorry." Qi Ming turned his head to the other side, a little reluctant to see Yi Yao's face. "Don't be stupid." Yi Yao waved his hand. The scenery along the road is infinitely bright. "Thank you." Qi Ming stretched out his hand from the side, and gently shook his own. "Thank me for what?" "It's nothing... just thank you." www.lee-home.cn 168 ——Actually, I also know that when you say thank you, you are thanking me for leaving your world.Let you live without any burden like today. —Although my heart aches when I hear such words.But seeing how happy you are now, I really feel very happy too. ——The song that I would disdain every time I heard it before made me cry that day.The song is called "Love You Very Much". 169 In fact, youth is the accumulation of such fragments. Get up, brush your teeth, ride your bike to class. Following the rhythm on the radio, he lazily scraped his eye sockets.Occasionally escaped the broadcast and sneaked to the canteen to buy things. One day I hang shoulders with this girl, but tomorrow I will turn my back on him because of some trivial and boring things. The delicate faces of Japanese boys are as attractive as the male protagonists in manga. The dense fog permeating the alleys will not decrease in summer. In the bucket of the communal kitchen, green watermelons are soaked in cold water. It is such a piece of specimen installed between the slide glass and the cover glass, with clear lines to annotate and explain youth. But that's not exactly the case. It's like the life Yi Yao has experienced.Those things that can almost subvert the original coordinates of the world, you think they will stop. 170 When Qi Ming and Gu Senxi received Gu Senxiang's text message together that day, they didn't realize that it was two of the last three text messages she sent before she died. "I hate this dirty world." ——Probably something bad happened.Qi Ming thought for a while and replied: "That's because we are still clean, idiot." "Sensi, you have to work hard, don't make your mother angry. I will always love you." ——It should be her mother who is scolding her again, isn't it?Sensi thought so, and replied: "I know. I will always love you too, beauty." When Gu Senxi came out of the elevator, he heard his mother's heartbreaking crying from the house into the corridor. Gu Senxi hurried over and saw that the door of the house was open, and her mother was sitting on the sofa, beating the edge of the sofa with both hands, with snot and tears seeping into the wrinkles on her face.When she saw Gu Senxi, her mother let out a sharper cry. In a corner of the living room, my father was sitting on a stool with his hands resting on his forehead, tears rolling out of his red sunken eye sockets one by one. Gu Senxi rushed into her sister's room, and as soon as she pushed the door open, she bent down and vomited violently. The strong smell of blood filled the room.It was as sweet and greasy as countless tentacles from the deep sea suddenly rushed towards him, wrapping around him, and piercing the intense fishy sweet smell deep into every cell of his body. Gu Senxiang lay quietly on the bed, with his head tilted to one side, his eyes fixedly looking at the sky outside the window, his pupils dilated to make people feel frightened, the sheets were swollen with blood, and the cuts on his wrists were like white petals The minced meat turned over was shocking. Gu Senxi leaned against the wall, with his mouth open, as if every joint in his body had tripped, and a more severe current flowed through his body, so he couldn't move anymore. On the desk is a piece of paper. The above are two sentences. It was exactly the same as the two short messages sent to Qi Ming and himself. ——I hate this dirty world. —— Sensi, you have to work hard, don't make your mother angry.I love you forever.