Chapter 20 Part 3 The Love Subway in Depression

Part 3 Love Underground in Depression (1) outside.There is another world.Go down the dark stairs, out of the old residential building, out of the alley, at the turn.Suddenly, you will see high-rise buildings, commercial buildings, pedestrians and countless fashionable beauties, and the bustling and noisy roaring towards you. Spring is completely over.I just want to sit on that bench and hear the high-pitched noise of countless unknown bands.I was wearing stockings, sitting there reservedly, waiting for the quiet night to come.Someone began to walk over with a woman in their arms. My brother is very thin.

He said, you are so kind, you don't smoke or drink, I don't like girls drinking and smoking the most. That day, I was in the subway, walking up and down, and I had nothing to do.He stood far away, looking a little shy.I'm not too embarrassed. I like being in the subway.Because the lights are so bright there, day and night are the same.And you'll never get lost in the subway. It was night and I was wearing a black dress.The neckline is a little low, which I did on purpose. It was he who spoke to me first.I never initiate conversations with strangers. Three years ago, my boyfriend Xiaokang also took the initiative to talk to me.

He always calls me.In fact, not always, just two or three times. He always takes the subway from the south and treats me to dinner.In fact, not always, just two or three times. When he thinks it's funny, he laughs. He always finds me funny. I am such a boring person.Slow to move, like a snail. When we walk, we always keep a little distance. When passing a movie theater, I would go in to see what movies are on, and then come out. Autumn is a great season.If I'm in love, I can keep going through the winter like this. I guess Xiaokang is going to get married.He keeps turning off the phone, and I call his cell phone every day, so I know he is turned off.

Maybe I'll fall back in love.I will be gentle. He said, your face would look better if you had some blood in it. Xiaokang said the same thing before.He always tried his best to brighten my gray face.He bought me Duoer capsules, two big boxes, and forced me to take them every day.After I ate it, I looked really good.His face swelled up and became blood-colored. Later I saw me three years ago, still very good, my body was bulging. One night he called from Nancheng, and we talked non-stop until three o'clock in the morning.He asked about my home in detail.He asked one by one, my family members.

I seldom talk about my family, it has always been like this, and I seldom talk about it with Xiaokang, because he seldom asks.I am too lazy to say. Later he said, do you know why I want to associate with you? I said, maybe you are curious. He was noncommittal. I said, another reason is that I am a woman. Why can't it be like this, I like you very much, or fall in love with you? I laughed, how is this possible. Later he came to look for me near Xinjiekou.We met at the entrance of the film archive.it's dark. I suddenly said to him, brother. He said, you call me brother, I am a little scared.

I laughed and said loudly, what should I call you, father?father-- He just laughed.He looked around, a little embarrassed. He looks old and would be better off smiling. Part 3 Love Underground in Depression (2) He has a hunchback, chicken breasts, and beriberi.He said he still has hemorrhoids, but I don't know what hemorrhoids are. I asked what hemorrhoids are.He said it was a sore on his butt.How can there be sores in the butt?He said everyone has it, I said I don't.He asked if it hurts when you poop, I said no pain, then you don't have it, he said. He said he was impotent.He can't do that.He is the same as Wang Er in Wang Xiaobo's novel.

Later, he asked me to go to his house, but I didn't go.He just came to me and fell asleep in my bed. There is a big hole in my bed, he said he is hunchbacked, sleeping on such a big hole bed is just right. Later, he asked me to go to his house again.I won't go, as he always said.I went there later, and I took the subway, and I would not get lost in the subway. We watched TV together at his house, watching an old lady who was hosting a strange program about marrying off her daughter.I wanted to watch porn after watching TV, but he wouldn't let me. I am a little angry. It was late at night, and he found me a T-shirt, and I took off my clothes, put on the T-shirt, and lay on his bed.

He opened the sofa and lay down. We turn off the lights and talk.While talking, he said, can I go over and hug you? I said softly, yes. He climbed off the sofa and hugged me. He hugged it for a long time, like a baby.He touched and touched me and took off all my clothes. We kissed for a long time, as if in a dream.I haven't kissed Xiaokang for a long time. After a long time, I touched his underside.My God, I said. He is not impotent at all. Then we were fine.We have been together for a long time. Then we fell asleep. It was dawn the next day, it was a weekend, and we were all right again.On the big bed.

I screamed desperately. He said, move in and live with me. So I have a Proprietary Man with a hunchback, chicken breasts, athlete's foot, and possibly hemorrhoids.Unemployed status, single, uncertain impotence, bad temper.He may still be confused with his ex-girlfriend. One day he said warily, are you a Scorpio? I am also wary: I am not! The girlfriend I knew before was a Scorpio. I'm not, I insist. Don't lie to me, I don't want to associate with Scorpio. I'm not, I said. You must be a fucking Scorpio. Later, I cleaned up his house. I have never cleaned up any man's house.

He didn't mention my zodiac sign for a while. I love having sex with him because I don't know any other man who can.He uses a condom he left behind from his girlfriend two years ago.Then I ran out, so I bought three Durex, three.More expensive. It's my first time buying this thing.I haven't bought one for Xiaokang before. He is thin and has a strong body.He likes being on it.He's very traditional, well, so am I. I call the bed very traditional too.He bumped and I called out.very loud. Part 3 Love Underground in Depression (3) Unlike me and Xiaokang, keep your voice down, because his parents are next door, and his sister is in another room.

I have a good relationship with his mom and dad because I help them while they cook.My sister and I are also very good, because when I play the piano and sing, she sits in front of me and listens without blinking.His younger sister is excellent and used to be the president of the middle school student union. Later I dreamed that I was looking for Xiaokang.He is not there, but his sister is.I can't see his sister's expression clearly, and I don't dare to look at it.I asked her how?I mean his girlfriend.She said, very good, our family likes it very much.In my dream, my heart ached, and I wanted to ask, why didn't you tell me earlier if you didn't like me?But in the dream, I didn't say it. I don't know how I'm doing in bed because I'm not very confident.I have watched porn, and I seem to be not too different from them, except that I don't wear nurse uniforms. What about her?Does she look as good as me?Does she have me? He lifted the quilt, farted a loud fart towards the desk lamp, that kind of thing, poof—— I'd say, an aboveboard fart. He laughed, less embarrassed. It doesn't make sense after that. Because we don't cook, the food in the restaurants we eat is always not very good, but he wants to force me to agree. I just had to say yes. It's easy to forget everything when making love.Although making love is not really that happy. Others did it, so did I. My favorite thing is to go to bed without brushing my teeth. Xiaokang said, brush your teeth, brush your teeth.I say no.He just laughed, thinking it was fun. When he stopped urging me, I ran to brush by myself. We once took a group photo of brushing our teeth.That photo is almost the best photo I have ever taken.I laughed at Mimi, and Xiaokang also laughed at Mimi.Everyone held a toothbrush and pretended to brush their teeth. He took this photo back and showed it to his family.According to him, his father laughed when he saw it, and secretly asked when he would get married.Xiaokang is very happy, like a child who picks up candy and eats it. When Xiaokang said this, his voice was very low, as if he was embarrassed. I had no home since I was a child, because my parents didn't want me anymore.I grew up and knew I had no parents.But it doesn't matter, I've grown up.Everyone treats me very well, except for being a little lonely. Before I was eighteen, I went to a technical school.After school, I took a train for more than 40 hours to Beijing to write programs in an Internet company.I write many lines of programs every day.My hair is yellow, I'm a little thin, I have a piano, I like playing and singing, but I seldom sing to others. I'm like a very small bean sprouts, I don't think if you don't look hard, you can't see me at all. But Xiaokang still saw me, even though my hair was messed up.He sat in the last row because he was the highest ranking member of the staff.He could be the CEO.He took care of me, and a whole bunch of us. After listening to my singing, Xiaokang said, you are so beautiful.I became happy, and some people said that I looked good, so I fell in love with Xiaokang wholeheartedly. So I like Xiaokang to take me home, and I also want to take Xiaokang back to show my mother.But I don't know where my mother is.If she sees Xiaokang, she must be very happy, because I like Xiaokang, and my mother must also like Xiaokang.I must look a lot like my mom, but my mom sure can't sing, she's tone deaf.Her teeth are a little yellow, she is a little short-sighted, and she likes to make some vulgar jokes.She will laugh alone for a long time. Actually I don't know, I just think so. Xiaokang might have wanted to marry me, but he forgot to give me a ring, and he forgot to tell me.Later he said that he didn't want to delay me, and he didn't want me to be with him all the time.He doesn't let others know me, he said it's not good for me. I said it doesn't matter, I will come if you let me come, and I will go if you let me go. He said how bad it is for you. I laughed, I am such a person, what are you afraid of... He said, you are not such a person. I said that I am the one who comes when called and goes when he is called. Xiaokang has been peeking at my mailbox.He figured it out, although I didn't say anything in the letterbox except that I felt lonely.He guessed that wherever I go, there will be an older brother. There is no way, I am too lonely.Time has passed for so long that I have forgotten the reason for being alone.In fact, Xiaokang didn’t know about it, but I always hoped to stick to it, just like in ancient times, like Du Shiniang, Li Huiniang, and Gengniang, like a peacock flying southeast. It's just that none of them are my brother, you are.When Xiaokang hugged me, he was like my relatives. I had no desire at all. I just felt boundless sadness surrounded me, and I wanted to return to the womb. We are relatives, Xiaokang. And then that's it, you're married.The day I heard the news, my stomach hurt a little.I squatted on the ground and didn't get up for a long time. That's it.Every weekend, I take the subway to find my brother and have sex with him. I said softly, man, I have a lot of dresses, we can date for a summer, there will be no repetition. Until one day, he said, Xiaodie, I made a girlfriend, and I don't want her to see you. That day, the subway stopped suddenly for half an hour.It is said that someone fell under the railway tracks. I was standing next to the subway, and suddenly thought, it would be great if the dead person was my brother, so I at least know where he went.At least he won't marry someone else like Xiaokang. Forgive me, I did not bless you. Because I don't know who gave me the curse.