Chapter 6 The most meaningful life - five months after the college entrance examination (1)

The most meaningful life - five months after the college entrance examination (1) I've been pretending to be cross-eyed for a while, I don't know if it's because it looks cute or because it looks good, or for some other reason, but I've always liked to pretend.That should have been a long time ago, so long that I can't remember exactly when it was.Probably because I lack the talent to pretend to be cross-eyed, I have been learning for a long time and I can’t pretend well. Finally, I seem to meet a boy from a relative who is very good at pretending to be cross-eyed. I got his true biography, and after time, I finally learned it .So I was very excited, pretending and pretending all day long, pretending endlessly.But my parents are a bit opposed to me doing this, and they will scold me when I pretend to be at home.They couldn't come up with any valid reasons, but they were very awkward, so they seemed extremely arrogant and unreasonable.My mother once said that if you do cross-eyes on a rainy day, you will not be able to fight back.I was very scared when I heard it, but once it rained, I couldn't help but do it.At that time, I was extremely nervous, as if I was betting the rest of my life - but in the end, I fought back.Since then, the absolute authority of parents has disappeared.

The incident ended with me crying.Once, I foolishly ran into my parents' room and cross-eyed them.Unexpectedly, they immediately scolded me severely.I'm a little smothered, not sure why they're calling me out for such an insignificant thing.At first I was still smiling, until I was embarrassed, and finally I couldn’t bear it any longer, so I started to cry, and the more I cried, the sadder I became. I cried all night, and I cried in my dreams—it was the worst time I cried since I was a child. Adults and children are very strange: adults can be so angry about this kind of thing, and children can cry so sadly because of this kind of thing.From then on, I never do cross-eyed again.

Why am I telling this cross-eyed story before telling what happened between the night of December 31, 1999, and the early hours of January 1, 2000? I don't know.Maybe it's just because they are such sad things. I thought I could keep cross-eyed for the rest of my life and keep doing it.Who knew it would end so early.Now that I think about it: No normal adult seems to enjoy being cross-eyed, but there are so many kids doing cross-eyed - where do all those kids end up? If someone asks me, I know the answer to that question , because I used to think that I could keep cross-eyed until I couldn't do it anymore.

I have that heart-wrenching feeling - that the past is never coming back, never going to happen again.Gone forever. On the evening of December 31, 1999, A and I left Fuxing Park and went to the Bund.On the way, A said: "Do you want to go to dinner now? I guess no restaurant will be able to squeeze in any later." I said: "No way? It's so serious?" A said: "Look at the road, now There are only so many people here, and when we get to the Bund on Nanjing East Road, it will definitely be crowded." I was afraid and said, "Really?" A smiled and said, "Hey, what are you afraid of? Wait—will There are so many people, who dares to mess with us? You need to use your brain, understand?" I heard this, looked at A, and felt itchy in admiration.

So we went to McDonald's.The inside was already crowded with people, and the staff were so busy that their chests and backs were wet. A frowned and said: "It's scary." I said: "What should I do?" As if he didn't hear me, he straightened his neck and looked into the depths of the restaurant, then laughed very happily and said: "What should I do?" It depends on our own ability. "As he spoke, he pulled me inside. There were four or five people standing next to each table waiting for a seat, with fierce faces. A took me all the way, and finally, at a table in the corner of the restaurant, we found B and C who were eating burgers.

B was facing us, and after seeing us, he kept smiling and remained calm. C has his back to us, looking very dull, knowing nothing.We stood behind him and watched for a while, admiring him pouring the ketchup onto the chips, slowly and evenly, and then stuffing the bright red chips into B's mouth. C always has a dignified look in front of everyone, even if he is stupid, he is so stupid that he has a gentlemanly demeanor. Seeing his behavior now is the biggest fool in the world.I leaned on A, and laughed and laughed secretly, but C didn't notice it at all. B devours the French fries without saying a word, as if deliberately trying to make a fool of C.So I reached out from behind his back, snatched one of the French fries he had just slopped in ketchup, and ate it.

C was stunned and angry, turned his head, saw A and me, and was stunned.Immediately, the three of us laughed together. C asked B angrily: "Why didn't you tell me?!" A said: "Hey, what are you doing? Isn't it very good?" I echoed A and said, "Yes, isn't it very good?" C His face turned green with anger.B and I were so entangled in laughter that we couldn't tell each other apart. A said: "You guys are very happy to sit down. You can give us a seat." C said, "Help me, we sat here at two or three o'clock. Otherwise, how could we get a seat? You think I'm a superman Huh?" I said, "Yes. You have been sitting here at two or three o'clock until now. Are you tired from sitting? Exchange with us." B stood up with a smile and said, "Okay , just let you sit down, sit for a while and then change back." Then C also stood up, and hit A on the head by the way.

A goes to buy food, and C goes to the bathroom. B took the opportunity to lean into my ear and said, "Look at those two middle-aged people sitting next to us." I glanced sideways—they turned out to be two middle-aged people who looked like a man and a woman. B said: "They are sitting here, seeing me and Zhang Lan, they hate it to death. Now you two are added, they will hate the whole dinner." I laughed but didn't dare to laugh out loud, and asked in a low voice: " How do you know?" B said: "I can see it. Don't hate too much, you can hate it—" So I squinted at the two people again——as expected, they looked very angry. With a blank face, he has been eating in silence.I turned my head to cell B, and the two of them laughed furtively.

It was starting to get dark outside the window. B said: "Let's hurry up. Wait a while and maybe the Bund will be sealed." I asked worriedly: "Really?" B said anxiously: "Oh, why don't you use your brain. No wonder Xiang Wucheng always blames you. There are too many people, don’t they want to fall into the Huangpu River?” I nodded suddenly and said oh——.Really, both B and A are people with such flexible brains.What would I do without them. In the McDonald's restaurant, music was playing with a very strong rhythm, and it was so loud that people's heads were about to burst.I said: Why do they always put this kind of

Music?" C just came back from the bathroom, stood by the side, and said, "There are so many people, I tell you to go quickly after eating, don't always dawdle.Especially—well—someone like you who moves like hell. I looked at him, then at the counter, and said strangely, "Hey, why is Xiangmei City so slow? I'll go and have a look." " I found A in front of the little table where I took the straw, and went to pat him on the back.He glanced back at me, struggling to hold the food tray in one hand, and showed me a straw in the other, and said, "This one has a blue strip. I'm going to get a red one. No matter what." It's blue." I listened to his words, looked at his serious face, and almost fainted on the ground.I picked up a straw and twirled it between my fingers to show him—the straw had four stripes, two blue, two red, and all he could see was the side with the blue stripes.When he saw it, he took the tray and left without saying a word, and even his back showed an annoyed look that he thought he was extremely stupid.I followed behind with two straws, laughing all the time.

When I got to the table, I told B and C about his stupidity and they listened and said, "Stupid." They also laughed. A blushed, buried his head in eating his hamburger, and looked like Winnie the Pooh again.so fun. When we walked out of McDonald's, B and I were in front. A caught up with me and said, "How is it? I have a feeling that I will meet the two of them here." As he spoke, he pointed to B beside me. B looked at him and smiled meaningfully at me. The four of us walked towards the Bund together.It was completely dark, but there was no dark atmosphere at all—there were lights on the road, and even the sky seemed to be lights, the shops were all open, there were crowds of people inside and outside the shops, the whole city was extremely excited, men and women Walk past with a messy hat made of confetti. A and C walked in front of us very quickly. When they passed us, A turned his head and said, "Look, everyone is walking towards the Bund. We are suffering today." B said: " What are you afraid of?" C leaned over, half to me, half to B, and said, "This fellow in Xiangmeicheng is very demanding. Walking depends on whether you are in a good mood, whether you are happy or not." A reached out and hit C, telling him not to talk nonsense . C glanced at him, ran to the other side of us, away from him, and continued: "It can't rain. The sun is neither too big nor too small. The weather is neither cold nor hot. The road is neither far nor close The place to go must be interesting, but not too interesting. There should be neither too many nor too few people - of course, the group of people must get along well. Besides, he must be in a good mood..." Before he finished speaking, A Just dragged him to the front.B and I have laughed like crazy. B looked at A and C in front of him and asked me if it was true.I said, "Zhang Lan really likes to exaggerate." B smiled, with a look of infinite love and compassion in his heart, and said, "Oh, yes. It's not that he deliberately exaggerated, it's just a habit. If he doesn't exaggerate, He will hold back and gag when he speaks, and he will not be able to speak." I looked at B, and unknowingly walked past one after another big stone houses built by foreigners before liberation.I took her arm, so I tightened my arm, and exclaimed: "Shu Mei, you and Zhang Lan are really good! It's amazing." When she heard it, she seemed unable to hold back, laughed and said : "Like a good look?" I nodded.She didn't speak, and turned her head to look at the dark shadow of the big house on the side of the road.Near the Bund, there are always many high-end cars parked in front of the gate of the house, and they seem to have a lot of background.I also followed her to look at the dark door, the hall behind the door that looked like a wine bottle shaking, and the silent old elevator behind the hall.She suddenly said, "Do you remember when you were in junior high school, everyone said that there was an old woman near the Bund who drank the blood of little girls in red clothes?" I said, "I remember. We didn't dare Come to the Bund. I'm scared to death." She smiled, her smile was erratic, as if she was intoxicated for some reason.Then she asked: "Do we really look good?" I didn't react for a while, and stared at her in astonishment.After staring for a while, I remembered to ask: "You and Zhang Lan?" She said: "Yes." At this time, we arrived at the Bund. There are really many people on the Bund, and it is brighter than the daytime. B glanced casually, and said, "Look carefully, the road will definitely be closed until nine o'clock." My eyes were glued to her.I found that her face was very pale, so white that it felt transparent and greasy, like the color of a fish belly. Only a long strip in the middle of the face was bright, and the rest of the face was all sunken in blue gray.I couldn't help but say, "Shu Mei, why are you so thin?" She said, "Really? It's because of the light." She came to hold my hand and said, "That's great, your hands are so warm. "I grabbed her wet and cold hand, looked up at the row of brightly lit buildings on the side of the road - I remembered, probably because of the floodlights. A and C stop in front. C ran over and asked where we wanted to go.We say we don't know.He asked where it was.I loudly asked A who was still standing in front, I don’t know where it is? A put his hands in his pockets, facing us, standing upright, like a tree-he said, you should discuss it carefully. C said, did you hear that? Speak well. B was on the side, looking a little weak, and said: Haven't you already arrived at the Bund? Don't go. C looked at B with attention, and asked: "What are you doing? Are you uncomfortable?" B said: "What's wrong with me?" He said with a smile, and the long strip of light in the middle of his face fainted a little, as if a gust of draft came from him. It blew in on her face, drawing back the long curtain that hid her soul. C takes another look at B, then turns his head and walks towards A.After walking a few steps, he turned back—I was surprised to find that his expression had completely changed from the first time he turned back a few seconds ago.As if unaware of my presence, he said to B in a voice overwhelmed with anger, "You don't want to do that." B shuddered from head to toe—her body reacted to the words more violently than I could comprehend.She looked up and stared at C stiffly, and C stared back at her.A group of people our age walked by singing and everyone looked back at them both.Under the rendering of the floodlights, the two of them looked like a pair of cold ghosts. B's face glows brightly, like a reflection in a broken mirror.Her eyes were cruel and desolate, looking at C as if he was standing in a very, very far away place——she looked at him desperately and breathlessly.I suddenly realized that her hand was still holding mine, and it had become hot since I don't know when—I had never touched a hand that was so hot that it was really hot. Then B's expression became blurred, as if her spirit suddenly fell from the iceberg into the swamp.She fell down and became cold.Her muscles relaxed, and a smile appeared on her face in a daze.She still looked at C, but her eyes were already gray.After a while, she said, "I'm not like that." She smiled so much that I was about to cry. C's complexion also fell, his face was white and dry, he sighed softly, and said, "Don't be like this..." A came over to Ding.Almost at the same time, someone patted B, C and me on the back respectively.The three of us were terrified, and when we turned our heads, it was D, E, and F, two men and one woman—they were also our best classmates in high school. C's complexion changed, and he said with a smile, "You guys are quite well-matched." F said, "You guys still have to be together." After speaking, he laughed out loud. D said: "Oh, just now we were talking about that there are so many people, most of them can't find you. Who knows, I saw it when I came here. It can be seen that we are close." A said with a smile: "Yes Yeah. It's going well today." E rushed forward and said, "It looks like we're going to get rich next year." F tapped E on the head and said with a smile, "Yes. We'll wait a little while you're not paying attention. I killed you and robbed you of money and sex, didn't we all get rich?" E spat: "Bah! You are a woman, if you want to rob sex, of course you will bear the brunt of it." Everyone laughed, and B was in front of me. There seemed to be a few laughs. So A, C, D, and E all went to the front and huddled together in a mess. F must also follow, she is the only woman among a bunch of men, she is running around in beige clothes, she is very happy. B said: "Look, it's been half a year, why hasn't she changed at all?" "Who are you talking about?" I asked, "Du Shuangxiao?" It was so pure that even she herself felt that she was not worthy of someone like herself. B said: "Oh. Du Shuangxiao is amazing." B's face looked wet, white, cold, weak and expressionless, like a bowl of cold porridge. I look forward to C.They were a large group of people, walking fast, appearing and disappearing in the crowd.The atmosphere on the Bund has become intense to a certain extent—as A said, there may be someone fighting around you at any time.There are so many lights shining under our feet and above our heads, the world seems neither black nor white, there are flashes of light everywhere, gliding past your eyes horizontally and quickly, leaving a faint trail behind. Sticky marks, like pink phlegm floating everywhere.I kept holding B's hand—her hand was getting cold again.I said, "Shu Mei, what happened to you and Zhang Lan?" "Didn't you see it?" "I don't dare to think about it," I said. B smiled, tossed the hair that fell on his face aside, and said, "You think it over. You can think whatever you want, and you can say it when you think about it. Why are you always so timid?" I still hold her hand.Her hand was so soft that there was no bone at all, it was like holding a wet towel in my hand.I said, "But at McDonald's just now, weren't you very nice?" She turned to look at me, stretched out her other hand, touched my head, and said, "Xie Yi, really, don't trust me that much. It's nothing." Fleeing far away into the sky, he sighed and said, "You should wake up too." She told me not to trust her.I couldn't help but think that a long time ago, A told me not to be so close to Liu Shumei.I still don't know why A said that, but at this moment, I grabbed B's hand even more tightly. I don't know why, but I don't always have a chance to have a good talk with A this evening. Everyone was excited - us and the people we didn't know, including the people who were finally fighting.At half past nine, A turned to me and said, well, the police have sealed off all the intersections, so they can't get in now.I asked, who are they? A said, they are all the people except us. I kept thinking, who are all the people but us? I didn't think about it in the end, I forgot.I held B's hand, and I was also very excited—excited that the year 2000 was coming and that we were lucky not to be locked out of the Bund—but because of B, my excitement was like a wooden man. One pull.I was uncomfortably excited. B is actually quite excited, also for the same reason as me.Her excitement was covered by the wet and cold lovelorn, she was stuffy, and she looked like she was about to die. Twenty minutes before zero, we all stood still.It was A who suggested not to walk around anymore, he said, if we keep walking around, we will be scolded by others. D rolled up his sleeves and said, that's the best, everyone is so happy, how can we not fight? I immediately said, yes, that's the best! We all look determined to mess around, stretch out Kick back and forth in the crowd, one person at a time. A walked up to me and said, okay, okay, okay.Reach out and touch my head.I made a motion to kick him, but I didn't actually kick him.All of a sudden, I lost the courage to kick him and play around with him, and I just looked him in the eyes—maybe it was only half a second, but I got what he meant, I got it... and so I'm sad, I'm sad - why am I not sad? What a good thing is passing in our bodies, in our lives! Why am I not sad? It's going to drain , is going to be gone... only 20 minutes left... I looked at A, shaking with sadness, A secretly shook my hand very slowly, helping me not to let the tears flow out immediately .my dear.