Chapter 4 The most meaningful life - five months after the college entrance examination

The most meaningful life - five months after the college entrance examination I don't know that the college entrance examination has only passed five months.Just figure it out.After thinking about it, I was so happy.It would be great if time could be extended like this. So I asked A if he knew how much time had passed since the college entrance examination. A immediately said: "Five months." I said: "Xiang Meicheng, I hate you to death." A smiled and said: "I know, you think the time is prolonged, so you can take advantage of it." Why don't you think it's the end of the year, the end of the world?"

I said, "It's a lie—really?" A half smiled, and said, "Either we can verify it once. After December 31, 1999, everything will be clear." I have a look a.He was wearing a navy blue and white patchwork suit that looked like a Reebok, very, very good looking, and it didn't look like the end of the world was going to happen.I think dark blue and white are always the most beautiful colors in the world when put together. As long as they are placed properly, they will be so free and easy that they will fly.I thought again, how horrible, how can he wear such little clothes - isn't he cold?

Before December 31, 1999, A was still the most amazing person in the world in my eyes, just like a god.I thought, how lucky am I to have a fairy be my boyfriend! My forehead bone touched the ceiling (Shanghai dialect, which means extremely good luck.).So I turned my head to look at A, stretched out five fingers and squeezed his arm—it was warm.He turned around and gave me a good-natured smile.I thought: Be good! (Almost means "oh my god".) On December 31, 1999, I set off by car in the afternoon to find A.Before going out, I said to A on the phone: "Hey, I'm coming out." He said: "Oh, you come out." I said: "How are you?" He said: "I'll wait for you. I'm in People’s Square is waiting for you.” I couldn’t help remembering that I had called him in People’s Square before—I was still thinking in my heart: How much scope does the People’s Square we call include? Including Yan’an East Does it include Tibet Road? Does it include Huangpi Road? Does it include Weihai Road? How big is it?

Where does the People's Square mentioned by A refer to? I took the tunnel line six to People's Square.There were hundreds of people in the car, and I squeezed straight in the middle without pulling anything.There are a few drivers with extremely aggressive driving styles on the sixth line of the tunnel, which makes you feel that you may be thrown out of the window at any time - but this one is not, this one brakes very lightly, as if a child carefully pulled the hem of your coat.My Walkman is playing Yang Naiwen's song.I looked up from time to time to see many arms hanging from the triangular handles, swinging above my head.It's almost a pretty comfortable thing to do.

The car was blocked near the entrance of the tunnel and did not move for a long time.The people in the carriage started to feel a little irritable. The stranger looked at each other with an innocent face and said, Hey, why is there a traffic jam at this time? Why is there a traffic jam? Asking each other, it seems that they are very afraid of traffic jams from the bottom of their hearts.A middle-aged woman standing next to me also tried to turn her face away at me, her eyes were full of gentle worry and questions. In an instant, the adults in the car turned into faces of children. When discussing and looking out of the window, their faces were covered with fragile and fragile breaths.I'm starting to get a little wary: there's a weird smell to these things today.Why is everyone so uneasy about traffic jams? Why do they all look like they have thorns on their backs? My own body is numb in the middle of a bunch of fragile heartbeats;

I'm still listening to Yang Naiwen.Surrounding the eardrums, the music was so loud that Yang Naiwen's voice was like a dagger, bright, sharp, bloody and painful.A song she was singing, I remember it seems to be called "Still".I don't understand the lyrics, and I don't understand what it means to be "lonely around the TV, dying to persist, disappearing at half past two".What's the meaning?! When the car finally started to move slowly again, the driver tried to tell the passengers that today is a special day, and there are countless people and cars insisting on rushing from Pudong to Puxi, so he can't take a good rest.Speaking of not being able to take a good rest, he smiled. He was as bright as a spring flower, which made me fall in love with him.But no, there is no need for this, because A is waiting for me in People's Square.

Then the car drove into the tunnel.I watched the guardrail on the side of the road grow from nothing to existence, and then slowly rise, rise, rise higher and higher, rise higher and higher, and close together above my head, until finally, there is nothing.The darkness first spread from our feet, and then surrounded us in a circle, me.I saw the darkness rushing in, drilling into my pores like small eels, and I began to be afraid: none of us knew where it was heading.What if the car enters a tunnel and can no longer be driven out? What if you encounter the end of the world in the tunnel? I remembered what A said a week ago about verifying the end of the world.I don't know why, but in my mind, the end of the world is always just me and no one else - I die silently and silently...not dying, or rather, disappearing, just like a soap bubble , "poof", gone.It's the end of my world.The videotape of life—a total of twenty years and less than a little bit—rewinded quickly, and kept rewinding, until finally, it got stuck and could no longer be played out.I don't know where I went, I don't know what I became, anyway, I can still see A - I saw him waiting for me in People's Square, walking up and down the station, looking around , still so much in his beloved Ferrari, so much in the world, so much in his own luck.I see him, but I can't call him, can't let him see me, can't tell him: I'm gone, gone.I looked at him and saw him putting his hands in his trouser pockets and taking them out again, with a smile on his face—and suddenly I cried.But I can't cry, I have reached the end of the world, I have no tears.Certificate completed.

I craned my neck anxiously and looked out the window.It's dark outside.The staggered cars passed by like ghosts.The car passed through the tunnel, making a shrill whistling sound.The carriage fell silent, and no one spoke anymore—every time in the tunnel, the passengers always fell silent, surrounded by dark, flat, moving faces, worried faces without facial features.I am afraid.I am afraid that when the car exits the tunnel, we will find that the outside is gray and white, and we are far away from the dark Shanghai where the inner and outer ring roads go wrong.My dear Shanghai.My dear dear A.Doomsday please don't come soon!

When the car drove out of the tunnel, the driver sighed out of thin air: It is hard work to be a human being.Everyone in the car laughed.When I saw the elevated bridge above my head, I felt relieved and smiled. I got off at People's Square and saw A.He put his hands in his trouser pockets, took them out immediately, and waved to me.So I walked over and bumped into one person after another.I thank the end of the world a thousand times and ten thousand times in my heart, thank you for not coming so soon-this is the luckiest thing I have ever encountered in my life, luckier than winning the welfare lottery.

But how do I explain all this to A? A said: "Why so slow?" I said: "The car is blocked at the entrance of the tunnel. Did you find the tunnel is very scary?" A laughed and said: "You are really free." "Bah," I said , "I'm not free." He always pays little attention to my words.There is no way. We started walking.Perhaps it is not correct to say that we are going forward, because we have no destination at all, so we cannot say forward and backward.We are just beginning to walk, maybe forward, maybe backward.It doesn't matter. A asked me: "Why do you like walking so much?" I said: "I don't know. I don't know. Why? Well, it's good to know." He said: "If you know it, you can change it." I am very light Said softly: "Yes."

It seems that he and I happened to be in the state of walking today, and it was so heavy when we came up.I can't say if this is good or bad.We gradually deviated from the track of Yan'an East Road and walked to the small road next to it.Some people hate the main road under the viaduct, but I don't.Especially every time I walk under the elevated highway in Huangpu District, I always think of No. 71—it runs towards the Bund, and every time it enters Huangpu District, a recording is always played saying: You have entered Huangpu District, which is under construction What is the health and civilization demonstration area, I hope you will abide by the seven non-standards.It sounds like Huangpu District is a district with serious cleanliness.But I know that A doesn't like this kind of big road. C always said that A is the most particular person.When I heard it for the first time, I was surprised and asked C why he saw it. C looked at me and said, of course. — It seems that this is an indisputable thing. We walked from Huangpu District to Luwan District.There are so many narrow and winding small roads in Luwan District, which made me dizzy. A took me back and forth on Sinan Road, looking at those big houses over and over again.It was built here before liberation, and there used to be rich people who could fall in love all day long, Romeo and Juliet.I said: "I really like the big tree in their yard. I'd better have this kind of tree too. There are many caterpillars crawling on the tree." A said: "Then you go and tell the owner and ask them to sell you the tree." Alright." I look away from the gray-green wall and look at A.It was obvious at a glance how much he liked it here, these big silent and melancholy houses.I said: "Don't be embarrassed, just like it if you like it." It's so funny, I actually said "I like it if you like it", and I said "Bai" - why have I never said "Bai"? Really Never said that. A said: "If I had such a house, I would subscribe to a lot of newspapers. When I go home every evening, when I open the door, there are "Xinmin Evening News", "Liberation Daily", "Shenjiang Service Guide" under my feet. "." I imagined that A opened the door with a lot of keys, and then the newspapers rushed to his feet like kittens, and he sighed: alas.I think A at that time must be very, very distressed, as distressed as living in menopause forever.I said: "I still like "Shenjiang Service Herald" the most." A reached out and patted my shoulder, saying: "No problem." What is no problem? There are very few people on Sinan Road, and there is neither a festive atmosphere nor an apocalyptic atmosphere. Later, I finally left Sinan Road with A.I started tapping every street tree on the side of the road again, just like this one, one, one...beating rhythmically. A said: "Why are you so idle?" I said: "Oh, yes. I am." A said: "Oh." He looked a bit like Winnie the Pooh when he became distressed: his brows were slightly blank Frowning, the two eyes move closer together, always infinitely closer, never able to close.I love Winnie the Pooh. When we left Sinan Road, dusk was already approaching. There are only a few hours left in 1999. A said: "Let me take you to a good place." He pulled my hand and smiled. What good place is A taking me to? What good place must I go to before the end of the world—or on the day of the end of the world? In short, since there is a place to go , then the heart will be at ease, knowing that the end of the world will not come immediately--I now know that the end of the world will not come halfway, if it will come, it will always pick someone early when.The end of the world is just that good, the best thing in the world. A took me to a very, very old house, a typical high-end apartment where foreigners lived before liberation.It stands on Fuxing Road, in front of it is an elevated road, and a little further ahead is Fuxing Park.But this house seems to ignore everything like Fuxing Road, the elevated highway, and Fuxing Park.We stood at the gate of the house, looking in side by side—inside was a dark hall leading to a staircase, behind which the large windows lined with wrought-iron balustrades, indistinctly innumerable tiny Iron filings fell.A and I were still standing quietly outside the house. A said: "This used to be the French Concession." After a pause, he repeated emphatically: "The French Concession." After speaking, we walked in the door. In fact, I understand what A means by emphasizing that this place used to be the French Concession, but I can't say exactly what that means. The foyer is covered with small pieces of mosaic tiles, which spell out beautiful geometric figures. After so long—I don’t know how long—it’s still very delicate and beautiful.Cast iron carved stairs, step by step, climbing into the crispy darkness. A walked in front of me, took my hand, and stepped carefully one step at a time.A very dim bare-chested light bulb was installed at each stairhead, illuminating the yellow walls even more yellow—except for the small space it illuminated, most of the building was sunk in darkness. A said: "This kind of place can hide a few ghosts anywhere." I became cold and said: "Fart!" He laughed and said: "I'm not lying to you. Why did I lie to you? Ghosts are nothing. It’s scary. The ghost is coming to you, but it just wants to ask you for something. You tell it well, I have nothing to give you, and it will go away. Do you think ghosts are as unreasonable as you? "I yelled and jumped into A's arms like a rubber ball. A reached out and patted my head, led me to continue upstairs, and said with a smile: "Haha, the plot has succeeded." I froze for a moment, and looked up to see him laughing wickedly.So I also laughed wickedly and said, "Fart! Do you think I didn't premeditate?" He was also stunned for a moment, and had nothing to answer, so he sighed and said, "Oh, little girl, don't always be a fart ah." A led me all the way up to the fourth floor, made a turn, walked through a short corridor with two yellow walls close together, and came to a very spacious balcony.It seems that the balcony is now used for public use, and it is full of messy waste, but it can still be seen to be very delicate.I used to lean on the railing and saw the garden downstairs and an extremely slender and beautiful Lianshu in the garden, so I couldn't help calling out loudly. I straightened my voice and said, "Xiangmei City, where is this?" A said, "This is the good place I said I would bring you here." I turned to look at A.He stood behind me, his eyes were soft and soft, and his chest was warm and warm—like the dusk that never happened in a thousand years behind me. Opposite us, there is also an old apartment building with bright yellow cement stubbed walls.Across a small garden, the approaching sunlight at dusk fell on the bright yellow wall that exudes a musky smell, and many golden powders released from its surface, like poison dissolved in the air, invading our body. Heart, left atrium, right atrium, left ventricle, right ventricle, go round and round.I clasped my own hands and looked and looked and looked endlessly.I love it so much.It's really cute in here - the monsters are amazing.I love it so much my heart aches. A said: "How, here? You have been here, you can accept the end of the world anytime and anywhere." A said: "This is my end of the world." A said: "Hey, talk." I smile.I take a deep breath, this golden poisonous air, this air that seals my throat with blood.Twilight in the French Concession——I love it so much that my heart aches.I said: "Xiangmei City." A said: "What? Finally talked?" I said: "I want to go boating." A said: "I will take you to go boating tomorrow. Go paddling on the Huangpu River. "I said: "I want to watch the basketball game." "A said:" Let's go to the United States to see.Either I'll call you, it's simpler and more exciting. "I said: "I miss Chen Xiaochun." A said angrily, "Why do you suddenly miss Chen Xiaochun? Why don't you miss me?" I looked at him and said, "You are right here, why should I miss you?" So the two of us laughed together. In the depths of my heart, it seems that there is a golden bell that has been quietly lurking there without ringing. At this moment, I suddenly feel extremely warm, and it screams loudly and painfully. A and I walked out of the apartment that was as beautiful as the end of the world, with poisonous gas blowing from our heads, and crossed the road to Fuxing Park.On the way, A said: "Why do you like walking so much?" I said: "I don't know. I don't know. Why? Well, it's good to know." He said: "You can change it if you know it." I Very lightly said: "Yes." I remember where this dialogue was said just now.It is strange that a man should say the exact same thing twice. There are many people flying kites on the lawn in the park.We walked around a few times, and because we were poisoned, our legs and feet were unstable, so we had to sit slumped on a bench under the plane tree.I told A that I like the sycamore trees in the park. Because they are not pruned, they grow very slender, and the branches are fully stretched out. They look very healthy and superior, so beautiful. A listened, and said, um, um, um, um. A asked me if I was reading any books recently.I said no, or "Shanghai TV" is also considered a book. A said: "Just now I saw a person sitting on a bench reading "Selected Novels of Xu Lan". Who?" He said, "No one. A person who wrote a book." I said, "Is it well written?" He seemed to think seriously and responsibly for a while, then smiled and said, "A line is bigger than a line. Section by section, the interval is getting bigger and bigger." He shook his head in a humorous and cautious way.I imagined it: what would a novel look like with lines bigger than lines, with paragraphs separated by ever-increasing intervals? But I couldn't think of it—not at all.So I said to myself, A's way of speaking is really strange. We sat in the Fuxing Park, which is popular among the residents of Luwan District, talking about this and that for a while, and most of the time we didn’t bother to say anything.The evening wind came to blow away the winter sun.Sunshine was a guy with unstable heels, weak in body and warm in heart. When he left, ten fingers with furry gloves wandered between the plane tree road and the lawn.I stared at it with affection.I knew it was going to hand me an ulterior promise, though I couldn't guess what it was.I am so stupid.All living people are so stupid.Not far away is someone playing the accordion——"Santa Lucia"; because I am not proficient, I play it intermittently, and it becomes a wandering tune like the dying sun, and I still refuse to come down and come to me Come, and slip on tiptoe on the bare high branches of the plane tree. A quietly put his hand on the nape of my neck—very warm, as warm as thirty-eight and a half degrees. Honey, I say, honey, honey, honey. —Suddenly I became as old as "Santa Lucia", old and useless, my soul gliding on the top of the plane tree, hanging in the air like a tram all day long. I don't know how long it has been like this, A let out a sigh of relief beside me, and the hand on the back of my neck softened.He looked at me, the depths of his eyes filled with at least a liter of weakness.I knew, and I was like him—a spring in my heart went loose, undone forever.We looked at each other and smiled weakly.Before and after, we have never known each other like this before, we can even touch the shape of each other's breath.I stared at A for a long time - of course I knew what he was going to say. He said, "Okay. The end of the world is not coming." Certificate completed. A and I will meet up with B and C at the Bund in the evening.However, because the end of the world did not come, everything that happened in Fuxing Park was so sad.The future is so sad.I don't want to write any more now.forgive me.