Chapter 22 Section IX
On the morning of the first day of the exam, I got up and straddled the sides of the urinal with pride, ready to go into battle lightly, but my sphincter did not respond after squatting for five minutes. Now, the stool has not woken up, and at the moment I am still dreaming the sweet dream before I came out in the large intestine.
Sitting in the examination room, I got the paper, I finished writing my name and started answering the questions. I did five multiple-choice questions, intending to see what the person in front of me had chosen. When I looked up, I saw that he was still writing his name on the test paper, so I had to thank him. My parents gave me a name that is simple and easy to write.
I sat in the second row and heard the two invigilators chatting in the front row.The Rockets played a game yesterday. I didn’t watch it because I endorsed it. I plan to read the newspaper today.They said that the Rockets won by more than 20 points, and Yao Ming almost had a triple-double. It seems that I don't need to buy a newspaper.But the sports news did not help me answer the questions. I cast an affectionate glance at them, hoping to talk about major domestic and foreign political events, so that I could add some to the political papers, so that I could keep up with the times when answering essay questions.But these two teachers, like me, are obviously not interested in politics, and they keep talking about sports and entertainment. It seems that they have no hope and can only make up their own.
I was in a hurry to get out in the morning and forgot to wear my watch.After finishing the multiple-choice questions, I panicked. I didn’t know when it was. I asked the teacher. They interrupted the chat, glanced at my watch and told me that the exam had only started for fifteen minutes.I continued to write, and after finishing the two analysis questions, I was a little uncertain about the time. I didn't know whether to hurry up and answer the main points for the next few questions, or slow down the pace, expand layer by layer, and discuss in detail.I interrupted the teacher's chat again and asked what time it was, and they said happily that it had just been twenty minutes.I wrote more than a thousand words of essay questions. After finishing writing, I saw the sun outside the window was getting high. I didn’t know how much time was available. I asked the teacher when it was, and they were impatient, saying that you have never finished, is it intentional? , I won't tell you.I said I wanted to hand in the paper, the teacher looked at the watch and said, no, the exam will not be handed in within an hour, I said yes, thank you teacher, I know there are at least two hours before the end of the exam.The exam is three hours long.
The exam started at 8:30, and when I was halfway through the papers, I wanted to go to the toilet, and I woke up with a bowel movement, and when I woke up, I rushed out to breathe.It is estimated that it should be around 10:30, because I wake up at this time with my stool every day.
I raised my hand to ask the teacher to go to the bathroom.It can be seen from the expressions on their faces that they are very reluctant to approve it, but socialist countries advocate corruption, and fascists are not so ruthless, so they are still the ones who lose Come with me.
Under the watchful eyes of the teacher, I unbuttoned my pants and took out a cigarette. He asked me what I was holding in my hand. I said it was cigarettes. Only return it to me after the content is irrelevant.Just as I was about to light it, he said that there was no answer wrapped in the cigarette, and he had to take it apart to see. I said that it was impossible to smoke, so he didn't take it apart, but he was still worried, and pinched it with his fingers again, and the cigarette shriveled. Going down a piece, a lot of shredded tobacco fell out, so I felt relieved and returned the cigarette to me.
I lit a cigarette that had been ravaged to pieces, and my internal organs were scattered, and started to clean up the garbage in my body.Accompanied by the sound of work, I heard the teacher say outside the door: "It's not a lazy donkey, why is there so much shit!"
Considering that the papers were not finished yet, I shortened the working hours, and I felt that the work was almost over.Go back to the exam room and continue answering the questions.As I was writing, I suddenly heard a snoring sound. Following the sound, a student was sleeping soundly lying on the table.The teacher walked up to the student, knocked on the table a few times, but did not wake him up, and pushed him twice, but he was still sleeping soundly. In desperation, the teacher kicked him, and he raised his head from the table, mouth There was a string of saliva hanging on the top of the mouth, which had reached the chin, and the flow was getting longer and longer, and it was about to reach the navel, with a tendency to fall to the ground. Straight disgusting.
If you put something on the table when you sleep, you won't be so embarrassed.For example, using a handkerchief to pad between the face and the table can not only soften the table, but also absorb the saliva that flows out during sleep in time.I learned this method from my junior high school physics teacher. His class was scheduled in the afternoon. Every time he rang the class bell, no one was there. One is whether love comes or not, it’s better if you don’t come, you can do whatever you want. The other is composed of students who want to go to key high schools. They hope that the teacher will not only come quickly, but it’s best not to leave get out of class and spend all their time on it. Learn scientific and cultural knowledge to cooperate with the country's strategy of rejuvenating the country through education (the awareness is really high).Both parties focused their attention on me, because I was the unlucky physics class representative.One party hoped that I would run to find the teacher quickly, while the other party hoped that I would sit still in my seat and keep telling me nasty jokes to delay time.I usually listen to a few jokes, laugh, and then look at my watch. Half a class has passed. At this time, I will call the teacher again, because I don’t want to go to a key high school, and I don’t want to fail the high school. I just want to go to Pugao. It is enough to listen to half a class.When I entered the office, I saw the physics teacher was drying towels, and the ground was covered with water.I said, teacher, you have our class today.The teacher said yes, sorry, I slept through it.The next time he was in class, he didn't show up on time again. I went to find him, and saw him lying on his desk, snoring, with a towel next to his mouth to receive what came out of his mouth.The towel is white, and the place where it has been soaked in water is gray. Now the white is almost invisible. I don’t know what I dreamed about.I woke up the teacher and said, all the classmates are waiting for you in the class.He opened his eyes full of gum, glanced at his watch and said, Damn, fell asleep again, then picked up the towel on the table, twisted it hard, splashed water again.He saw that I was still standing aside, so he said, you go first, and I will come after I dry the towel.
The classmate rubbed his eyes, looked at the blank test paper, and said to himself: "Sleeping is really a waste of time. It takes another year to sleep, and I slept through last year."
The time is almost up, I finished writing the last word, and the pen is out of water.After checking it, I found out that one refill can write 10,000 characters the size of a normal cockroach, and 12,000 characters the size of a malnourished cockroach.
After leaving the examination room, I had a good feeling for the first time at this time.