Chapter 40 39

Jing said, in fact, I often dream about Cong Wei.Shen He's heart was awe-inspiring, and after spending many days with Jing, she seemed to avoid talking about Cong Wei, but she finally brought it up.Shen He knew early on that Jing would mention Cong Wei, they seemed to be drawn by many tiny threads, and they would definitely meet each other as they walked. What did you dream about her? I dreamed that she told me the story of Uncle Lu and her. What was the story like? Can not remember.I tried so hard to remember it, but I still can't remember it. Ok. where is she?Take me to her.Jing suddenly begged.

Why do you want to see her?curious? of course not.She was my idol in girlhood.I know that Uncle Lu likes girls like her, so I want to be like her. To make your Uncle Lu like you? Ok. You and her do have a similarity. really? Really, if Lu Yihan hadn't died, maybe he would have liked you very much.Shen He said with emotion. Jing suddenly remembered Lu Yihan's confused eyes on the last night.He looked at Jing and said, I think it's very familiar.I see.She got her wish to resemble Cong Wei, but it was just a fake of her.Jing sighed: But that was a dream. Jing suddenly asked again: What is your feeling for Cong Wei?

Good friend for many years. You must like her too, so you took me in.Jing said as if joking. She is seven years older than me, and I respect her and cherish her talent.Shen He was not angry, and replied lightly. She is a dream you didn't catch. Gradually entering winter, the pollution of the city is very serious, and the thick winter fog in the morning makes people despair.Jing occasionally goes to school—it is the last year, and the students have already started to find their own way out. Jing also saw Lin Miaoyi. A group of junior school girls came over to ask her to sign. She had a good temper and spoke softly. .The girls were discussing with her the plot in "Smiling Like a Flower", saying that they liked Xiran very much, and that even in adversity, they were always calm and held no grudges in their hearts.Jing walked over slowly, she just stood beside them smiling.When they all dispersed, Lin Miaoyi immediately turned a fierce face and asked Jing, what do you want to do?Jing said with a smile, in fact, I just want to hear how they evaluate the characters in those novels.You know what, it's such a blissful feeling, it's a pity you'll never know it.After Jing finished speaking, she left happily.

As for Jing and Shen He, apart from writing, they seemed to only have one topic about Lu Yihan and Cong Wei.Both Jing and Shen He felt the barrier that prevented them from approaching.There are always Lu Yihan and Cong Wei among them, Shen He always feels that Jing is still clinging to the memory of Lu Yihan, and Jing feels that he is a sad substitute for both Lu Yihan and Shen He.Pride made them despise each other's feelings.So they sometimes quarrel because of this calculation. For example, on a good night, Jing read to Shen He the novels she wrote these days.Shen He praised, yes, these are well written, reminding me of what Cong Wei wrote...

Jing interrupted him and said coldly, you only like novels that are written exactly like Cong Wei's novels, right? Shen He was taken aback for a moment, no, I just expressed my feelings. Jing said, yes, this feeling is the most real.The first thing you think of is her. Shen He said, you are a little unreasonable.Don't you also like Cong Wei very much? Fakes have no right not to like the real thing, do they? Shen He felt that talking about it would only hurt people more.He stood up and ran for the door.He didn't come back for days.Jing also doesn't go out very much, she sometimes tells herself, Jing, you have to write a better book than Cong Wei.But she was facing the computer, but couldn't write a word, and gradually fell asleep on the table.In the afternoon, she often ran out of the house and sat on the stairs smoking a cigarette alone.On the ground are yellow and white long and short cigarette butts, like a piece of poisonous mushroom emerging after the rain.

Shen He came back a few days later, but Jing was not there.He sat down and waited for her. After a while, Jing came back from outside with vegetables, fish and cooked food.As if he knew he would come.She also seemed to have forgotten about the quarrel, and with a smile, she told him seriously what she was going to do for dinner.At that time, Shen He also felt that nothing happened, and even everything in Cong Wei Lu Yihan's manuscript did not exist.They are just an ordinary young couple in the world, their days are full of oily smoke and petty quarrels. But she doesn't make love to him.Every time he kissed her, it was so long, as if he wanted to make up for what she lacked in the past.He led her through the thorns and traveled among the clouds.And, he still wants her.But when they came to the bed, she was suddenly very alarmed.Like flashes of lightning, the scene of Man and Lu Yihan making love, and the scene of Xiao Zhuo and Xiao Yan sleeping together flashed across her mind.The pleasure of those physical collisions only brought her pain that could not be added.Her eyes had been hurt by those white lights.Wounds are like ravines that cannot be filled.Suddenly, as if she had been hit, she broke free from Shen He.She backed away again and again, curled up in a corner and wept.Shen He had infinite pity, but slowly stretched out his hand and pulled her up.Then have her sit down on the edge of the bed.He stroked her head gently, telling her not to be afraid.She hid her head in his arms and wept.At night they just hugged each other and slept together to keep warm.

Jing's temperament is becoming more and more unpredictable.Maybe it's because I have been suppressed in my childhood and adolescence, but now I don't need it anymore, so I grow wildly.Shen He has to admit that this unrestrained nature is the most fascinating place, but it is also chaotic and completely out of control.Once in a quarrel, Shen He found that Jing had drawn a mark on his arm with a blade.He asked her why with heartache, but Jing said with a smile that Cong Wei did the same thing when she was young-she was referring to the thing about engraving her name on her arm in Cong Wei's novel.Shen He was very worried. He felt that Jing and Cong Wei were getting more and more alike, not only in the charming place, but also in this terrifying place.Shen He finally said to Jing, I think I should take you to see Cong Wei.When you finish writing this novel, we will go.