Chapter 12 11

The first time Jing saw Cong Wei's photo was in Lu Yihan's studio.The studio was very large, and there was an antique cabinet, which contained the antiques collected by Lu Yihan.Jing sneaked into Lu Yihan's studio that day, and he was cleaning those antiques—he would clean them every once in a while, and never wanted to ask others to do it for him.He didn't notice her. After cleaning the antiques, he picked up an old copper-colored photo frame and stared at it for a long time, lost in thought.In the photo frame is a photo of a woman in light color—it is called light color because it was originally a black and white photo, and the color was artificially painted on. It is much lighter than the color photo, and it has a taste of watercolor painting.

"Who is she?" Jing couldn't help asking suddenly curiously.Jing is very interested in the women around him. Lu Yihan was taken aback, found Jing, and was taken aback for a moment, but he didn't try to hide anything, his expression was very peaceful. "She was an old friend of mine." "Girlfriend?" Jing rushed straight out like this. "Hmm..." he said, his expression still calm. "Where is she now? Why isn't she with Uncle Lu?" "She went abroad. That was too long ago, and I was not married at that time." He didn't feel any displeasure because of Jing's inquisition, but just answered her lightly.

"Can I have a look at this photo?" Jing made another inch.But it was so important to her.Is the girl in the frame Uncle Lu's first lover?Is it his favorite woman? Lu Yihan handed the photo to Jing.The copper picture frame was surprisingly heavy.The girl was so fair that the person who colored the picture had purposely painted her cheeks extra red.It's so red, it's probably only appropriate to apply it on her face.Her face was almost perfectly shaped, with a little roundness in the cheeks and a sharp chin.This is even better than Man's. Although Man's chin is sharp, her cheeks are not full, so she has a demonic look.But she looks round and innocent, Jing thinks she will age very slowly - these are only discovered when Jing grows up and knows how to appreciate women.Although other people didn't find her amazing when they saw her photos, Jing's favorite beauty was the girl in the frame.Her pupils are extraordinarily dark, so she looks very bright.The forehead is high, and the aura can be seen from here.

From the first time I saw Cong Wei in the photo, Jing felt that she was a mystery, and Jing had a premonition that many unusual things must have happened between her and Lu Yihan.At that time, Jing was fourteen years old and had lived in No. 3 Taoli Street for more than a year.Lu Yihan dotes on her very much, always protecting her and preventing Man from sending her away.Jing's overeating phenomenon has begun to decrease, and she only hides in the kitchen to vent with food when she is restless or sad.Xiao Zhuo is also very kind to her. On her birthday, she made bracelets and necklaces with Jing's name engraved on them.If she is found binge eating at night, he will go to her room to sleep with her.But Jing is still unhappy.Because the care Lu Yihan and Xiao Zhuo gave her was limited after all, once she left them, the eyes and faces around her were like a mirror, and she clearly knew that her humbleness and roughness remained unchanged.

Because she doesn't like to go out or meet people outside, Jing spends most of her free time in junior high school reading in Lu Yihan's study.Lu Yihan has a large study room, with tall bookshelves on three walls, densely packed books shining attractively through the glass windows, whenever Jing stands in front of the bookshelves, he feels like he is in a deep valley full of Ganoderma lucidum , which is full of natural and primitive wealth.Jing likes them and hopes they can save her. I always hide in the study alone in the hot afternoon to read.Jing watched "Les Miserables".That is a person who can never see happiness. She read it and felt that he was going to give up his life several times, but he didn't. Even though his life was always moving forward in the dark tunnel, he would not give up.Jing read "Gone with the Wind", which was a book that shocked her a lot.The woman who always held her head high, the woman who spared no effort to call for tomorrow to come, even though she was constantly losing, she never fell down.When eating at night, they searched for Jing, but couldn't find it.And Jing was sitting in the corner of the study reading the book, deeply immersed in the heroine's manor and her lover she had admired since childhood.At this moment, Jing seemed to have gone to her place to fight side by side with her.

Think of life as a battle.What a fierce battle! Jing also read "Lady Chatterley's Lover".She couldn't help recalling what she saw in the keyhole, and she still felt a scorching heat.Many years later, Jing still remembers the dense forest and small clusters of flowers that Lawrence arranged in the book.Those are beautiful and emotional props, which gave Jing her initial fantasy about sex. Shu became Jing's best friend.She has no friends among her classmates, and they still like to laugh at her. Even though she is no longer dressed so sloppily, and no longer carries two schoolbags with different lengths, this does not change the fact that she is hopelessly fat.Because the middle school is a long distance from Taoli Street, she began to ride to school. There was no shade in the long section of the road, and the sun exposure made her very dark.Jing looks like a dark and strong girl, who should have a rough and simple heart that matches her appearance.That is not worth going deep and close to.Jing thought she didn't need them either.They are rough in Jing's eyes, they just know how to watch cartoons and comic books full of pranks and vulgar jokes.The boy quietly discussed the girl's face and body, and the moist desire that crossed over to the adult man's period began to rise in his eyes.The girls began to compare endlessly, who has big eyes and fair skin, who has a thinner waist and just right breasts.Jing hates them, Jing thinks it is a vulgar and hopeless life.And the life that Jing hopes is clear, sitting in a large bright study room reading a book for an afternoon, sitting on the ground, changing postures when tired, but refusing to leave the book for a moment.Go to bed early at night, think about nothing, and won't wake up until the sun visits the window sill again in the morning...

And Cong Wei, at this moment, with subversive power, waved to Jing like a mystery.The books in the bookcase are always picked at random and read.Because she has no way to know whether these books are good or not.The book that was taken out of the bookcase that day was a book with a dark red cover. "Warm Land", Jing read softly.It looked very old, but it was still in good condition, and the corners of the book were wrapped with transparent tape—it looked like a book that Lu Yihan had read many times.Jing is very happy, because she always wants to know what Lu Yihan likes, and then turn it into her own favorite.For more than a year, she has been doing the same.He likes blue, so she also started to like blue, and bought blue clothes, especially pajamas. When she was at home, she always liked to walk around in front of him in blue pajamas.Jing thought, would he like her more in this way?He also began to like to look at oil paintings. He organized some art exhibitions and asked him to take her with him.It doesn't feel hard to do so, and the process of letting yourself like it is joyful.

Jing began to sit in the corner and read the book—she developed the habit of sitting in the corner, probably because the house was too big, cramped and leaning against floor-to-ceiling curtains instead of cold walls, so there would be a kind of sense of security.When Jing saw the author's name of that book, she almost jumped up - Cong Wei!It turned out to be her!Lu Yihan's past girlfriend!Jing opened the cover impatiently, and then saw her at Lekou.It was the photo she had seen in Lu Yihan's hands again, but it was black and white.And the girl with an extremely perfect face still smiled faintly.Below the photo is a statement from the author:

Cong Wei, twenty years old, born in the south of the Yangtze River, is obsessed with his own shadow like Nasus in Greek mythology, and words are my lake surface, which makes me see myself so clearly and love myself. The book consists of more than a dozen short stories.Jing finished reading in one breath, and when she closed the book, her heart trembled for a long time.In those wonderful and unique words, she clearly saw Lu Yihan's shadow, a woman she admired, and their unforgettable love.How much Jing likes such a woman.She has a world that is entirely her own, like a paradise, fresh and peaceful, and no one can destroy her freedom and happiness there.From this moment on, Jing believes that this woman who lives in her own words is perfect, and she should be the one that Uncle Lu likes.The first time she saw Cong Wei's photo that day, she felt that Cong Wei was a very special woman, different from all the beautiful women she had seen, but she couldn't tell what was different about her.Probably because Man Jing has a subtle prejudice against naturally beautiful women, which makes her not believe that beautiful women can be exceptionally talented, including Cong Wei.And now the facts overruled her prejudice.Jing is so envious of her, this beautiful and talented woman, and more importantly, she has Lu Yihan's love.

Jing has always felt that every girl needs a sister on her growth path. This sister is not a blood connection, but an emotional dependence.My sister is a lighthouse on a dark sea.Therefore, Cong Wei seems to have become her sister, and Jing will worry about her safety.She wrote too many gloomy things in the book, she is such a fierce woman, when she was fifteen years old, she engraved the phonetic alphabet of the last name of the boy she liked on her arm, "H, like a truncated The ladder in the middle made me stand in an ugly situation, in a dilemma," she said of her first relationship.She ran away from home for her lover without hesitation - that person should be Lu Yihan, but now she is not here, so did she go home?Where did you go?Jing has infinite worries about her, as if she is Jing's previous life, and she is inextricably linked with her.

Jing finally walked into the studio quietly one afternoon when only she and Lu Yihan were at home.He leaned against the curtain and fell asleep - he looked very tired, and the way he fell asleep was helpless, showing his disappointment with life in his heart.Jing walked over gently, and picked up the oil painting pens scattered on the ground.For many years, he is still painting, but few people see him. He will tell others lightly that he gave up many years ago.Jing sat opposite him, also leaning against the curtain, looking at him, not letting herself make any movement.However, he seemed to be in a light sleep, and soon felt someone looking at him from the opposite side, so he opened his eyes.He wasn't surprised when he saw her, he just smiled at her.Then he saw the book in her hand.Jing could clearly see that he moved slightly, and there should be a big shock in his heart. "You still read this book." Lu Yihan said. "You don't want me to see it?" "Cong Wei said that people who read her books are destined to her. I don't want to deliberately cut off the fate that may exist between you and her." "I came to you just to know, where is she now? How is she doing?" "She went abroad with her parents. I think she should have a better life than at home." "But...she loves you so much, would it be better to live abroad than by your side?" Jing asked puzzled. "Love alone may not lead to a good life, child. Perhaps you will understand this in the future." "Then do you still love her now?" Jing asked again, the conclusion she hoped to draw was that Lu Yihan loved Cong Wei more than his mother. "Love is still there, but now my love is your mother." "Is Cong Wei still writing?" "No……" "So what is she doing?" "Okay, Xiaojing, this is not a problem anymore." Lu Yihan stood up from the chair, patted Jing's back, "Let's go, let's go to the gallery with Uncle Lu." Jing nodded and followed him out.But when I looked down at her book again, I felt very sad inside.The mystery was put aside like this, and she might no longer know where Cong Wei was, what Cong Wei was doing, and whether she was okay. At that time Jing was very curious about everything about Cong Wei. When Jing first met Shen He, Shen He specially came to give Lu Yihan a book, and the book he was holding belonged to Cong Wei.To be precise, it is another book by Cong Wei, the latest one.At that time, Shen He graduated from university for more than a year and worked as an editor at the well-known K Publishing House.And Cong Wei's book is the first book he edited.Jing later learned that more than a year ago, Shen He searched around, found Lu Yihan, and asked him about Cong Wei's whereabouts-at this time, Cong Wei had no news for ten years, let alone published any books.The three or two novels that she made a sensation ten years ago have gradually been forgotten, and the literary world has only lamented that "talented women come fiercely, but leave in a hurry".Only this big boy, who still had his childishness still in his body, went all out to find Lu Yihan and asked him about an outdated female writer who had disappeared for ten years.Before finding Lu Yihan, he had encountered countless obstacles. People told him that she hadn't written for many years, maybe she married and had children and became a housewife, or started a business... But Shen He refused to believe it. To him, it seemed like a fascinating mystery.Rather than saying that he is looking for a female writer who has disappeared, it is better to say that he is exploring the life trajectory of a mysterious woman.Lu Yihan couldn't help being surprised at his persistence.He finally gave Shen He a contact information of Cong Wei.Jing had no way of knowing all the twists and turns in the middle, but she knew that Shen He finally persuaded Cong Wei, and the next year, he published Cong Wei's third book: "The Shadow of Narcissus". No one expected that this book would cause a huge sensation. A long-dormant female writer, a fledgling young editor, and a messy and obscure raving novel would become the best-selling book of the year.There were endless comments on this book, controversy, criticism, and even slander... Cong Wei still disappeared, even though people were arguing red-faced, it was so lively, but she didn't know where she was enjoying the peace.Shen He just thanked her readers on behalf of Cong Wei, and said that Cong Wei refused all interviews and would not show up. Many years later, Jing kept Cong Wei's "Shadow of Narcissus" with her.This book of hers was the first edition that Shen He sent to Lu Yihan that year. The Shadow of the Narcissus tells the story of a young woman who, freed from all shackles, embarks on a free and desolate path, choosing to live a life of nomadism.However, there is almost only the heroine in the book who has a clear face. The places she wanders to and the things she encounters are very strange. Looking at vases in the antique shop of the dynasty... Ancient and modern, Chinese and foreign, are irrelevant.Cong Wei's thinking has always been jumping, and no one knows what she will write next.The narcissus in the novel comes from ancient Greek mythology. The beautiful boy Nasus is extremely arrogant. He does not love any woman, but only loves to admire his own shadow by the lake. He marvels at its beauty and falls in love with it.In the end, he threw himself into the lake, embraced his shadow, and stayed together.Soon after, beautiful and beautiful narcissus bloomed by the water.Cong Wei compared himself to a narcissistic narcissus and said: "...chatting, quarreling, exchanging dreams with my shadow, cherishing each other, all I have is enough. It always follows me, stops with me, always looks up at me with a humble posture, it is so light , so thin, never burdening me, not holding me down, but just being my servant without complaint. So, even though I am alone for a long time, how can I be lonely? I have it, it is enough It's..." At that time Jing was still young and didn't know the deep meaning of "narcissus", but the image of that wandering lonely woman was deeply rooted in her heart.She was a woman admired by thousands of people.