Chapter 6 Chapter 6 works

1 I am most afraid that people will say that what I write is a journal, and which of us does not live a journal. Since literature comes from life, a journal of literature should be taken for granted. In fact, there is still hope in life, as Lao Wai said, you can buy it for two yuan (one lottery ticket). 2 It is natural to work to get rich, but if you do not get rich after working, you can’t help people have the idea of ​​getting rich without working, hoping that the pie will fall from the sky, and I have had this idea. I sat in front of the window, looking up at the sky in a daze. I sat in the same position for three days. Except for a few drops of rain, a few lightning strikes, a few pigeons flew by, and a pot of cactus fell from the upstairs, nothing happened. No pie falls.Expecting the pie to fall from the sky is tantamount to waiting for the rabbit, but no one is more stupid than the rabbit, throwing the pie down, but someone throws the apple core and banana peel.

I had no choice but to settle for the next best thing, looking forward to picking up a wallet, but I can’t stay at home when picking up a wallet, at least I have to go to the street and keep an eye on the dirty road, but apart from occasionally seeing a few steel coins with a face value of less than five cents, What I saw more was phlegm and cigarette butts. Therefore, there is no such thing as getting rich without working in this society.I shouldn't have any illusions. Only by doing it myself and having enough food and clothing can I not be left too far behind on the road to a well-off life for the people of the whole country. However, the problem of work has become a gap that I cannot bridge.

3 However, I still found a job, entered a private company, and engaged in a job that I still didn't know the specific job content at the moment before I resigned. I remember that there were a lot of people during the interview. A group of people piled up in the corridor, and they were taken into the office one by one by a little secretary like a sieve.For some reason, I was the only one hired in the end. At that time, I might not know how to brag to others. On the first day I joined the company, the human resource supervisor introduced me to the various departments of the company, such as the administrative department, network maintenance department, and marketing department. That's fine.

The purpose of my work is to serve the people, create wealth for the society, and realize my own value...all these are nonsense. To be honest, no matter where I work, I just want the salary, otherwise, what am I going to do? .Who is not? In fact, my requirements for life are not high. If I have food to eat, it is enough to be 80% full. I have clothes to wear. Don’t let people say that I am a hooligan. Wheels are enough, but none of these things cost money. The human resources manager told me that the probationary period is 3 months, the salary is 800 yuan, and the meal is provided at noon, and 1500 yuan after becoming a regular.

Eight hundred is eight hundred, let's do it first. 4 My direct supervisor is a woman in her thirties, unmarried.Perhaps in order to prove that she is still young, she gave herself an English name, Martha.It is said that she used to be called Jenny before, but she changed her name to Martha because she thought it was not pleasant. I prefer to call her Jenny Martha. Jenny Martha was also there when I was interviewing, and she seemed to have asked me about my attitude towards work. I said without thinking, I love work very much, and I can do any job.It was just talking at the time, but I didn't expect that I would be asked to do any work now.

The water dispenser in the office needs two buckets of water a day. Jenny Martha said that I am young and strong, and I am duty-bound to change the water.So I have one bucket in the morning and one bucket at noon. If there are overtime workers in the evening, I will prepare another bucket before I leave. Ever since I changed a few buckets of water, whenever there was no water, someone would look at me with a cup and say, the water dispenser is out of water.This implicit request made me unable to stand idly by, so I rolled up my sleeves, took out the empty bucket, tried my best to replace it with a bucket of water. Thin, with a lot of energy.

These grandchildren are all white-eyed wolves. They only think of me when there is no water to drink, and they forget me completely when they drink water. One day I asked for leave, and when I went to work the next day, I heard someone say: I didn’t drink much water yesterday, and my stool was dry this morning, and my lips were cracked.It seems that my work still has practical significance. According to records, when people are working, they make rhythmic tones and calls in order to adjust their movements, reduce fatigue, and enhance work efficiency. From this, literature and art are born. My job is to trace the source of literature.As much as I wanted to shout, I couldn't because loud noises are forbidden in the office.

The one that annoys me the most is Jenny Martha, the whole thing is so crazy, always asking me what I'm doing, lest I take a break.Once I was reading a short story, and she found out that she thought I was good, and criticized and educated me, saying that I should be active now, and I can’t be satisfied with finishing the little work in my hand. Everything will be fine, what? I have to rush ahead to do the work, not afraid of hardship or tiredness, and strive to become a regular as soon as possible.I nodded and said yes, but then I finished reading that short story during working hours. This novel is less than 10,000 words. I read it not only word by word, but also stroke by stroke, often just after reading it. After two words, Jenny Martha appeared, so I had no choice but to put away the book and take it out after she left. From the two words just now, she appeared again before reading three words.After so many repetitions, I finally finished reading it two weeks later. Not only did I read it, but I also recited it, but I could only recite two or two words.

Jenny Martha also said that she asked me to answer the phone for her when she was away, so as not to delay work.Usually when her phone rang, I would pick up the phone and say that the person in charge was away and would be back in a month, no matter what the matter was.The other party asked the name of the person in charge, and I said it was Jenny Martha, and the other party said, why are you swearing at people, and I said no, and the other party said not yet, you are so stupid, not cursing, and I said that the name of the person in charge is Jenny Martha, the other party said, oh, this name is quite interesting, is it a girl, I said no, it is a woman.I almost blurted out: It's a girl.

5 Every morning, I put the evening paper of the previous day into my schoolbag, planning to take a look at it during my spare time at work, but when it comes to work, I don’t read it at all. A veritable evening paper.But when I think about it again, I don’t have time to read newspapers, which means I’m busy with work, but after a month, I really haven’t done any serious work, so where did my time go. The boss has a habit of holding meetings. In addition to regular meetings every Friday, he also randomly holds at least two meetings a week.Fortunately, when I was in school, there were courses such as Marxist philosophy and contemporary capitalist economics every week. I was well-trained and used to it.The nice thing about classes is that I can sleep in whenever I feel like it, which I can't in meetings, but such long and tedious meetings can't help but make you yawn.

The purpose of the boss's meeting is nothing more than to outline the bright future of the company, using this as a bait to win over people's hearts, so that everyone can contribute their strength, work hard, and dedicate their youth.But the more he said that, the more I thought it was just a moon in the water. I didn't want to be a silly monkey connected end to end with others, gang up to catch shadows, and end up fetching water from a bamboo basket. Hao's arm cramped again, and he accidentally fell into the water. 6 Jenny Martha kept taking notes in the notebook during the meeting. I thought to myself, I can really understand the spirit of leadership.It wasn't until I sat next to her in a meeting that I realized that she just repeatedly wrote the nine words "one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, and nine" in the notebook. Waiting for strokes, if you write a few consecutive characters properly, it will be enough to make people think that they are making meeting minutes. The boss said at the meeting that we must treat our work extremely seriously and responsibly, as if we were treating our own children.I don't have kids, so I don't know what it's like, but I think work is my father now, I'm so in control of it that I don't really call work my father.The boss also said that I hope everyone will love and work hard.Professionalism is being mentioned more and more here because more and more people are not professional. The boss said that the company requires employees to have the ability to follow the company forward, otherwise they can only be eliminated.But now I feel that the company is just standing still, supporting a group of idlers, surfing the Internet, playing games, flirting during working hours, and leaving at the end of the day, completely treating this place as a place for both earning money and entertainment. Not long after, I fell in love with meetings. One meeting in the morning and a few glasses of water will make it time for dinner, and two meetings in the afternoon and a few cigarettes will allow me to go home from get off work.5 days a week, talk and pass.Life is one 5-day after another 5-day. Before joining the company, the boss asked a question, why do you come to work in our company, I thought, what a nonsense, I need a job, and the job needs someone to do it, just like prostitutes make money and clients make fun, we need each other.But my answer is that your company is the place where I think I can reflect my own value, make great achievements, and realize my dreams.It seems I was wrong. 7 At the end of autumn, I received a subsidy of 100 yuan from my unit for preventing heatstroke and cooling down. Although the scorching heat has gone, I still felt a bit of spring-like warmth on this late autumn night, and dreamed of spring flowers blooming that night. 8 My concept of work is ambiguous. Sometimes, I tell myself - since I have done it, I must do it well; sometimes, I comfort myself - just mess around, work day by day; and sometimes, I advise myself to be smart - If the leader is here, work hard, if not, then quit; more sometimes, I convince myself that there is nothing worth nostalgic about such a job, and I should resign as soon as possible and get a new one. I often see articles written by some columnists "I work and I am happy", which feels like nonsense. For me, work and happiness are two incompatible things. How can I speak at the same time, but for money, I can still Pain and work. One day I dragged my tired body to go to work, thinking it was Thursday, and then I heard people in the office discussing what to do the next day, and realized that it was Friday, so I felt ecstasy in my heart, and it was the weekend again, and I felt full of strength all over my body.Two days later, that is, on Sunday night, I felt a sense of loss. The free time was so short. Tomorrow morning, I would have to wear a splint to live again. A new boring week would begin again, so I was more and more eager to live freely, and I kind of missed the days when I was unemployed. . Everyone yearns for freedom, but in order to be free we have to endure the lack of freedom first. If we want to be a mother-in-law, we can only start as a daughter-in-law. When I am unemployed at home, I feel that time passes really slowly; when I have a job, I feel that time passes even slower when I watch the sun not set. Fuck, it's not half past five! 9 All things of habit weave around us in ever stronger cobwebs, and we soon discover that the threads become ropes, and the above is from Nietzsche, and the ropes, I might add, become Canvas, canvas turns into a tent, wrapping us tightly inside, but we don’t want to break free, and we think we live in it very comfortably. description of. Sometimes people are as slavish as a donkey. At dawn, let the owner put on the bit and pull the mill consciously without pulling it. Round and round, tireless, everyone has their own ambitions. It is not shameful to grind for a lifetime, just be careful. Then unload the mill and kill the donkey. It would be easy if I didn’t realize it, but it’s so sad that I have more energy than energy, so I can only end my boring and boring day by watching Nietzsche or Kafka for ten minutes before going to bed every night. Work drained my last bit of strength and my last bit of wisdom. I fell asleep every night, stopped thinking, and didn't write a few words for a month. My brother said that they owed people one hundred and fifty yuan for the car every day when they opened their eyes. When I closed my eyes and went to sleep every night, even if I earned forty yuan, I would love someone tomorrow. Sleep, this survival need, has become a great enjoyment in my opinion, and it is the driving force that supports my daily life. Fuck, another day. 10 One day, because of snow and traffic jams on the street, I arrived at work an hour late, and Jenny Martha said, why did you come here, and didn't ask for a leave of absence.Then I looked down at the book, deliberately not listening to my explanation. I said to myself, it’s not time for you to ask me to check in for you. Mom is so crazy. If you say this now, you will arrive two minutes earlier than me today. The snow on your head has not yet melted (I I'm sure it's snow and not dandruff, of course there is dandruff, but it is the large yellowish dandruff that sets off the whiteness of the snowflakes), it looks like it just came in. I ignored her, put down my schoolbag and started to eat a piece of bread for breakfast. I don’t know who she called, and she spoke softly and cheaply. I mistakenly thought that what I ate was not bread, but a mouthful of peppercorns .She also has a gentle side, how can she behave like that to me, every day I see a bitter face, sometimes I really want to fire her. Later she said "goodbye, manager", and I suddenly realized that it turned out to be a call to the boss. No wonder, big fish eat small fish, small fish eat dried shrimps, and dried shrimps eat mud.I'm just a piece of mud that can't be pinched. Every time Jenny Martha explained the work to me, she always said that "the manager will look at it later". At first, I really thought that "the manager will look at it later", and I did everything carefully, but the manager never looked at it once. So I woke up like a dream, and this sentence was just used by Jenny Martha to scare a child like "Wolf is coming" to get me. I woke up in repeated lies, just like a child must grow up, knowing that there are wolves on TV except in the zoo, and I also know that the manager is like a wolf who will not escape from the zoo and TV, he will not I check my work every now and then, all "wolf is coming" is scaremongering, and it no longer has any effect on me, but it shows that the speaker is beyond his power and pretends to be a tiger, even if he says something else, such as "the pervert is coming" , It will not be as ridiculous as telling fairy tales to adults. 11 When I was in school, I often did my own things. I didn’t take teachers and studies seriously. It’s different when I go to work. The boss said that since I gave you money, you have to do things for me, your own things I’ll talk about it when I get home, it’s reasonable, but some people can work to earn money and have fun at the same time, without delay. It seems that my skill is not enough, and I still need to work hard. After noon every day, the people in the office go out shopping in groups of threes and twos, and I am the only one left. I said I would sleep on the table, but just as I was staring, I was woken up by the human resources supervisor, who said work I can’t doze off in time, I said, can’t I use other people’s shopping time to sleep for a while, he said that he didn’t see other people’s shopping, but only saw me sleeping, so he would take care of it.What the hell! The human resources director's surname is Niu. On the second day at work, I mistakenly called him Director Zhu, and he has held a grudge ever since. Obviously, he remembered his surname as an animal to me, and it was a kind of animal. Ideal animals are stereotyped. My work does not need to sneak in, but it allows me to learn to sneak in, find something to do, and entertain myself.Drink two more sips of water every day, go to the toilet a few more times, and smoke a few more cigarettes, the time will pass, and it will not be far from get off work. There is often a scene of people doing nothing in the office. At this time, there are many things to do, such as cracking melon seeds, knitting sweaters, telling fortunes with poker cards, cutting nails, not only fingernails, but also socks and toenails. Ask others if it looks good. Usually at this time, Jenny Martha squats down to sharpen pencils, then takes out a Pang Zhonghua, and starts to practice calligraphy. By the way, despite her age, her handwriting is almost the same as that of elementary school students. The bad ones, besides being uneven and straight, she is also bad at writing, often from bottom to top, from the inside to the outside. This phenomenon only happens when the boss is not around. Once he appears in front of everyone, everyone must obediently pretend to be busy and look like they are overwhelmed. I think I am a man, there is no need to be like some people, flattering the boss, deliberately rubbing my breasts on people, I don’t know how to suck carbuncles and hemorrhoids, I just do my job well, as for the rest, I fuck it. The first thing Jane Martha does when she comes into the office every day is to ask me if the boss is here.For her, she can do whatever she wants if the boss doesn't come, but for me, once she comes, my dark life begins. 12 Once, Jenny Martha took a page of manuscript paper and asked me if I could type quickly. I asked how many, she said not many, seven or eight hundred words, and I said yes, put it here, and give it to you in the middle of next month.Upon hearing this, Jenny Martha said that it doesn't bother you, and then she spelled "zh ch sh" while looking down for the ABC on the keyboard. I deliberately concealed my typing speed, but anyone who chats online, there is no one who can type slowly, but why should I let her enjoy the benefits, they are all working people.Besides, even if she is a landlady and three big mountains, sooner or later I will overthrow her. Another reason I don't type Jenny Martha is because I'm flirting with Leaf in a Teacup online, and I don't have time to talk to her.I can use OICQ as much as I want, and I don't think Jane Martha will know what I'm doing if she sees it. Maybe she doesn't know that the Internet can chat. Since the last time I had a trick with Ye Zi in the teacup, I have never forgotten her. Except for a few cronies, there are fewer and fewer people who can flirt with me online. She is one of them, and I finally met again today. Me: Do you still know me? She: I also know you turned into ashes. Me: What did I do, so that you can never forget it. She: My computer was poisoned after I chatted with you last time. Me: Wrong, even though I had a cold and cough last time, I definitely did not infect your computer. She: I killed it 3 times with Rising 2000, and it's fine now. Me: I ate 3 bottles of licorice tablets, to no avail. I suddenly remembered that the girl had left me a phone number, why not call her and communicate with her directly. I called her but was hung up. Her: What did you call? Me: why not answer? She: Why did you pick it up? I don't know you. Me: Can we only communicate through cold ASCA codes? She: Internet and reality should not be confused. Me: Then why did you leave me a phone call? Her: You want it. Me: I want you to give it? Her: Calling you doesn't mean I'll answer your call. Me: How do you know it was me who made the call? She: Because of this number, I only told you. Me: You don't know me alone, do you? She: Of course not, it varies from person to person, I have 4 mobile phones, ha ha. Me: Do you work at Zhongfu or Gome? Her: I don't have a job. Me: I thought you were selling mobile phones. Can you fit 4 mobile phones in your pocket, or I will share two for you. Her: I have a lot of pockets! Me: I have a question for you.I am interested in all superficial phenomena, and phenomena are the reflection of nature. Understanding this problem can deepen my understanding of her, and then realize my unreasonable ideas. she says. Me: Why is it called "leaves in a teacup"? She: Don't ask if you shouldn't ask, I'm leaving, bye.Then go offline. 13 Just now, I was chatting with Ye Zi in the teacup on a whim, and I started blind typing, knocking on the keyboard so loudly that I forgot that Jenny Martha was by my side.She was dumbfounded at my crackling, and said that this is not called fast typing? !I said, this is also called fast? ! Jenny Martha asked me to go over to see what was wrong with her computer. It turned out that she wanted to format the floppy disk, but she made a mistake and formatted the C drive. She asked me if there was any way to restore it, and I said that it could only be reinstalled. System, she asked me to pretend, I said no, let her find someone else, she said that even you can’t, who can, I said why I can’t and others can’t, she said you are a computer expert, Typing so fast. This is the first time I heard that a person's computer skills are judged by typing speed. If this is true, the computer skills of those eighteen or nineteen-year-old girls from other places who type for newspapers in Beijing are unmatched. They can type three times a minute with five pens. More than a hundred characters, if any girl is quick-witted, she can write a long novel in half a day. Jenny Martha is not ignorant of computers, at least she can watch VCDs. She usually uses the morning working time to go to the stall to buy, and uses the company's computer and afternoon working time to read it carefully and shout: "too pirated", Then get up and change.Looking at the back of her walking out of the office, I think that even if it is genuine, she will find various reasons to change it. 14 Whenever I see employees submissive in front of the boss, I think that when people are in their twenties, they have to bow their heads under the eaves. Rusuo, I can't be wasteful anymore, I'm going to be a person who is running for three Zhanger in a blink of an eye. I really want to have a robot cat friend, travel through ten years on his space-time flying carpet, and see what I will look like after thirty years old.At that time, if I had mixed up well, I might have been married, and if I was a little more powerful, my children would be able to swear, but if I still behaved like this, I would definitely still be a bachelor. Regardless of whether the result was good or bad at that time, at least take a look at it and feel at ease-no matter how hard you toss it, it will be so fucked, lest I have to put on a show of unwillingness to admit defeat and risk my life for everything (everyone is risking their lives, I can't help but play), lest I fall behind. In the face of youth and wealth, I am really hesitant. If I can see what I will look like in ten or fifteen years, I will definitely make a quick decision between the two, but now I can only hesitate. Willingly. In fact, the answer is already very clear. My hesitation proves that I prefer youth and am full of ideals for the future, and my hesitation is precisely because I am not fully sure whether my ideals can be realized. This question is easy for my boss to answer. He has both youth and wealth, and he is familiar with both. However, the boss is rich, so it is inevitable that he will not hurt his back when he stands up and speak, and he is not objective enough.Therefore, youth and wealth, which of the two is right and wrong still needs to be further investigated by me. Seeing the people around me complacent and content with the status quo all day long, I can't stay any longer, otherwise I will be no different from them after a long time. 15 In order to understand people's sentiments, the boss installed a "General Manager Suggestion Box" outside his office door. At first I really wanted to write something to him, talking about the company's strange current situation, but later I found out that the high-level manager on the opposite side of the suggestion box There are monitors installed everywhere. I don’t know if this counts as listening to public opinion or raping public opinion.It’s just pretending here, and if you don’t make a small report, you’re afraid of installing a monitor in the toilet. That’s terrible, and you can’t take off your pants to pee. However, some people really wrote letters in the suggestion box, and they deliberately did not cover up, showing their true colors. Later, after inquiring, I dare to say, they voted a letter of praise. I am more and more disgusted by the boss's impassioned speeches at the meeting. He seems to be taking money for money. He always says that he is going to do a multi-billion business, but he only pays me 800 a month. Who will suffer? Got it! I still can't stand him casually saying that people are pigs. In fact, he is more of a pig than anyone else. I suddenly became nostalgic for school life infinitely.During the 16 years from elementary school to university, although they were often punished by teachers for various reasons, punished to stand, and invited parents, etc., the teachers wore the hat of being a teacher, which restricted them from being treated like landlords. Laborers can do whatever they want to me, at least they won't deprive me of my rights.The boss is not the case, one of them is uneducated than the other, and the other is of lower quality. They have big bellies but nothing but intestines and stools. Salary, fuck him. 16 People often say that knowledge is wealth, but this statement is a bit exaggerated when applied to me.I went to university, and persisted in finishing it, and obtained a degree. Although my academic qualifications are not high, I basically took off the hat of illiteracy.But my salary is not as high as that of migrant workers, and my life is not as fulfilling as theirs.Migrant workers work in various construction sites every day. Although they are sweating profusely, they can experience the joy of life in their work. However, I can only stare at the desk calendar on the desk every day, or glance at Jenny Martha next to me from the corner of my eye. I get annoyed when I see her, and the annoyed I am, the more I want to see her. She has no beauty at all. She wants to have no breasts, no buttocks, but her waist is as thick as a pregnant woman who has been pregnant for many days, but she is definitely not a pregnant woman. She is a 100% virgin. If someone like her is wanted, it must be The world has changed. She also has the problem of abnormal underarm odor, which is body odor, so she bought a large bottle of perfume very self-consciously, but she never sprayed it on, but placed it on the table as a work of art.My nostrils are full of strong onion smell, and the crystal clear perfume bottle is reflected in my eyes. The entanglement of water and fire inspires my infinite desire for fresh air. Every day, she would tell me what to do, and then start to practice calligraphy leisurely, talking to me while practicing, what should be done and what should not be done. Liu Zi told a story that gave me a lot of balance: When the human body was first formed, all organs wanted to be the leader.The brain says: I should be the leader, because I am in charge of all kinds of nerve reactions and functions of the whole body; the feet say: we should be the leader, we carry the body and brain to the ends of the earth; The work earns money and feeds all the organs of the body; the argument goes on, the heart, the lungs, the eyes, etc. speak up for leadership, and finally the anus comes forward and says he wants to be the leader too.Everyone laughed at his request, how can anus be the leader?As a result, the anal strike began, he refused to work, and blocked himself tightly. Soon, every organ in the body felt the harm of the anal strike, his eyes began to straighten, his hands and feet trembled, his brain gradually became hot, and his heart And the lungs are also not functioning properly.Finally, the meeting was reconvened, and it was agreed that the anus should be the leader, and everything returned to normal, with the leader sitting there spewing feces from time to time while the various organs went about their business. 17 The boring thing about work is that you have to wear socks to work every day, otherwise you will be pointed at by some elders who wear vests under their shirts.It is said that after I become a full-time employee, I will have to buy a set of work uniforms, not to mention whether they are not cheap or not, but only about the restraint they have on people. I wear a shit-blue suit and shit-yellow three-joint leather shoes all year round.Having grown up so much, I have never had the experience of going through the summer without wearing shorts and pulling a board. Although it is still autumn, I am already full of worries about the future. There are too many unsatisfactory places outside of work.Taking the bus to and from get off work every day is so crowded that I almost squeeze my shit out. Even if I have a seat, it is uncomfortable. The passengers next to me are either glaring at me or showing affection, which is self-evident, and makes me feel like I am sitting on pins and needles. In particular, bicycles and pedestrians occupying motor vehicle lanes are extremely serious, which makes the car unable to use its energy, causing me to be late every day.This is also the reason why I have not bought a car so far, except for the main factor of lack of money. Going out early and returning late every day, the hard work is self-evident.One morning I left the house in a trance like a dream, and got on the 47th bus that I take every day. There happened to be a seat in the car, so I continued to sleep by the window.I was supposed to go to Haidian, but when I woke up, I arrived at the West Railway Station. I took the wrong direction, and naturally I was late again.I later thought, this should be called going the opposite direction, or going south and north. My nose is extremely sensitive. On the bus, I can tell who has just washed their hair and who should wash their hair, whether the driver ate leeks last night, which conductor has a bad stomach. Sometimes it is hard to wait for a seat, and just as she is about to sit down, an old lady slips in front of her. She is faster than a rabbit, and she can reach out with such agility that she does not look old at all, but she will tell you: young man , I am eighty, and then I smiled at you, I am not so ignorant, I also smiled at her: I like to stand.As for the old lady's words, my understanding is: what are you fighting with me, I can still ride the bus for a few days, and I will be the one to take the hearse soon.You said I can not let her. If two or more old ladies get together, the situation will be bad, and the whole car will listen to them.The listener can not only know the situation of their family, but also know how their seven aunts and eight aunts are, which neighbor has troubles, whose son did not go to college, whose daughter gave birth before marriage and many other life-filled events. This group of old ladies are just going home by car after morning exercise. In the park, they are romping and full of energy. When they get on the bus, they will sell their old age and compete with the office workers who are greedy for the few seats.Sometimes, in order to rest more, I see old ladies getting in the car and closing their eyes and pretending to sleep, but they will stand in front of you ignorant of the times and talk loudly, hoping that you will pay attention to them and then perform the duty of respecting the old and caring for the young , if you don't let them, they will talk more openly, let the whole car see, the world is getting worse, facing the elderly and young people who are swaying (they deliberately stand unsteadily, staggering, rickety), young people are indifferent, let the whole car People condemn you, even if you do fall asleep, they will wake you up and give them your seat.Therefore, I would rather take the subway more often, because few 80-year-old ladies are willing to climb 70 or 80 steps, and they will not spend three yuan to buy a ticket. Taking a bus, thirty yuan is enough for a monthly pass. They use it for a month. I also encountered this kind of situation. A woman who was neither old nor young got into the car and carried a child who was probably about to graduate from elementary school, and was bigger than a piglet that had been fed for half a year.Passengers thought they were mentally handicapped or handicapped children when they were so big, so they all got up and gave up their seats. The child saw that there was a seat, so he broke away from his mother and chose the best seat, the front row, It faces the sun and is ventilated; and his mother sat down nearby, and the mother and son sat next to each other, making the seat stomp their feet. The work brings me heavy feelings, and it is necessary to take a rest in the car. In order to stare in the car for a while, I have to use a crutch to pretend to be a disabled person or hold a child, but for me It’s okay for a person with stubble to stuff a pillow under his clothes to pretend to be a pregnant woman, so I changed to cycling to and from get off work. The unit is far away from home. After a few days, I lost a lot of weight. Lao Wai said that I really Happiness, how many women spend thousands of dollars a month on fitness, drinking tea, and buying fat exercise machines in order to lose weight, but it doesn’t work, and I can lose weight in addition to getting money every month at work, inside and out That's thousands of dollars.I said happiness, it’s not a good thing for a man like me to have arms as thin as a fried dough stick. If this continues, my arms may not be as thick as the beams of a bicycle. I thought that cycling to work would save time, but this is not the case. Bicycles everywhere block the roads that are thinner than the model's waist, and I can't go as fast as I want.The bicycles in front of me and the late time made me sigh, it is indeed the kingdom of bicycles. The real work is far from the ideal situation, and every day I can only satisfy myself through fantasies on the way to and from get off work, which is very similar to the eunuch's masturbation.It takes an hour to get to the unit by bike, and likewise, an hour to get home.During the two hours that I came and went here, except looking at the beauties on the street, avoiding drunken drivers driving cars on the road and the police at the intersection (my bicycle has no license plate yet, it is a black car I bought, The relevant departments did not apply for a license for it, and I rode it like a foreigner without three certificates, fearing everywhere in Beijing), and most of the time I used it for aimless fantasies.When I am imagining, the speed of the car will involuntarily slow down, so that I spend more time on the road, more time, I think about more things, so, a vicious circle, it takes me an hour to travel. An hour and a half or more.The sun was setting, the sunset was setting, the night was falling, the lights were coming on, and I was hungry. I suddenly realized that it was getting late, so I took a few steps and went home for dinner before the evening news. After riding for so many years, my technique is absolutely proficient. I don’t need to hold the handlebars with my hands, but only with my body. I free my hands to crack melon seeds, memorize words, and blow my nose out of the wind. If I were a girl, I would put it halfway A catty of wool is in the car basket, and I knit a scarf and gloves for my boyfriend.Even if I turn a corner, I only need to pinch my legs and twist my body to turn it. I only use my hands when I reach the intersection and catch up with the red light.In fact, with the knowledge I learned in college, it is easy to install a foot brake for a bicycle. First draw the working principle diagram, calculate the tensile strength, choose the appropriate material, and finally connect the whole set of parts according to the drawing. The whole process is extremely simple. , I was even able to patent the invention, but before I could do it, the bike was stolen. 18 The company stipulates a strict time and attendance system, electronic check-in, and deducting money for every second of lateness.In the first month of work, I only received half of the salary. The reason was that I forgot to clock in after get off work and was late several times. 我去找人力资源主管说理，他说那我不管，我只看记录，你打了上班卡没打下班的我只能发你一半工资。我本想说那天下午我在办公室睡觉不是还被你看见了吗，可一想，若提及此事，还会被他因开小差再次扣钱的，还是算了吧，本来就没几个钱，再扣我就该给他钱了。 我为何上班时牢记打卡而下班将其遗忘脑后，原因很简单，上班如同上法场，下班好比越狱，心情迥然各异。当初解放军进城的时候，脱离苦海的人民哪顾得上正在茅房屎才拉了一半，提上裤子就出来迎接解放军了，回家与解放一个道理。 有几次迟到我都晚了半个小时，后来发现了一个秘密，同事们来不晚的原因在于，他们是在单位上厕所、吃早点的，个别人还带来牙刷毛巾香皂，洗漱都在单位进行。于是我也效仿，果真不再迟到，每天吃过早点，拉完屎擦了屁股，一看表，正好九点半，往日这个时候我才刚到单位——晚了半个小时。 可有时候屎是真憋不住，不得不在家拉了再出来。 19 发现可以利用工作时间完成生活琐事，我便将上班时间无形中推迟了半小时，然而迟到依然，早晨根本起不来。 我也试过把表往前调半个小时或者上仨闹钟的方法，均不见效，因为表是自己调的，比实际快多少心里有数，该怎么睡还怎么睡，甭说上仨闹钟，就是上一屋子闹钟也没用，只要房顶不塌下来砸死我，任它几个闹钟在床头此起彼伏，我都会鼾声如雷将其掩盖，唯一能让我起床的办法就是不要管我，让我睡够时候，然后自己就会从床上爬起来。 既然人力资源主管那么强调打卡，行，你不是只看打卡记录吗，我自有迟到你也扣不了钱的办法。 单位门口的保安对我总是必恭必敬，因为我经常来晚，下了班还第一个回家，他们认为像我这样每天晚来早走的人肯定是领导，我把卡交给他们替打，轻而易举。 珍妮玛莎见我第二个月拿了全额工资，就以命令兼请求的口吻，把卡交给我，让我“顺便打了”。但不幸的是，还没等我将卡转交保安，就被他们发现我不过也是一个打工的，不仅把卡摔给我，还对我耀武扬威，牛逼烘烘起来。 我对打卡制度极为不满。我认为无论什么时候上班，只要能按时完成工作，就算称职，时间不是评判的标准。退一步说，既然规定了工作时间不能少于八小时，那好，我晚来可以晚走，保证工作时间超过八小时还不行吗。当然不行，公司的规定是晚一秒钟就算迟到，哪怕你半夜回家，也无法弥补迟到的损失。什么鸡巴事儿！ 20 我对这份工作没有感觉，每天一下班，立即收拾东西回家，完全没有融入其中。珍妮玛莎却不着急回家，总是坐在电脑前忙碌着，也不知道每天都在干什么。一次我忘了东西在办公室，回来取时看见珍妮玛莎正在上OICQ，这大大出乎了我的意料，就像看见一个瞎子在看电视。 没准儿珍妮玛莎晚上已经约好了与网友见面。一想到她已一把年纪，一会儿还要手里拿杯奶昔等候在麦当劳，或者脖子上套个荧光圈站立在某迪厅门口，我就感觉好笑。 知道珍妮玛莎的网名很有必要，否则在网上碰上她跟我耍嫩，我还自鸣得意，那多恶心。于是我打听到她的网名是JBM，我问这是什么意思，她说是Just be myself（做自己）的意思。我还以为是“鸡巴毛”的拼音缩写。 一天我在单位附近的车站看见她下车，本想低下头赶紧骑过去完事儿了，可还是被她看见，只好停下，说了句客气话：我带你两步呀。她让也没让，居然真的一屁股就坐在我的车上，别说，还真够份量，我明显感觉车身向下一沉，蹬起来甚是费劲。 珍妮玛莎说她像我这么大的时候还没有自行车呢，好像我有自行车是件多么奢侈的事情，也好像她现在发生了多么翻天覆地的变化，此时她不还是让我带着吗。 为了避免被她搂腰，我竭力将车骑稳，她见车速不快，便问我她是不是很沉，我连忙说不沉不沉，因为我此刻的心情比她身体沉重多了——怎么碰上她了！ twenty one 一天快下班的时候，经理突然通知谁也不准走，一会儿开会。众人抱怨不止，有人赶紧请假，说家里有事儿，经理说今天他过生日，已经订好酒席，希望各位捧场，众人听了乐得跟什么似的，谁也不说没时间了，真有事儿的也给推了。 入座后，酒菜很快就上来了，刚才还谈笑风生的场面顿时消失，大家都低头不语，只听见咀嚼的声音，让人很不舒服，众人都意识到这一点，竭力克制住自己的声音，于是咀嚼声渐弱，最后只剩下“羊肉萝卜”开锅的咕嘟声。 菜上来后门外的服务员听屋里没了动静儿，以为我们顺窗户跑了，赶紧撞门而入，进来后才发现我们都在，连忙说对不起，众人并没有因为她的闯入而分散注意力，只惟恐哪个菜自己少夹了几筷子。 众人的狼吞虎咽让经理感觉菜要少了，就又点了一个清蒸皖鱼和尖椒土豆丝，鱼上来后摆在经理面前，转了一圈，到我跟前的时候，只剩下一副骷髅，连鱼头上的眼睛都被人挖走了，我只好避重就轻，那一盘土豆丝差不多都被我一个人吃了。 众人轮番给经理敬酒，祝生日快乐，经理一杯杯招架，说话开始结巴了，却仍不忘炫耀自己的伟大构想，将公司明年的大手笔进行了一番绘声绘色的描述，说完后问道：这样的话你们以前听过吗？众人连忙摇头，唯独我说：听过。 有人互递眼神，示意这哥们儿喝高了。其实我一点事儿没有，就是为了耳根子清净些，才把心里想的话说了出来。 经理刚要说“没有吧”，不料我说了有，不禁噎了一下，似乎酒醒了许多，不知往下该如何继续，气氛有些尴尬，只好张罗众人，吃菜吃菜。 已经吃到就差喝菜汤的程度，大家显然没有吃饱，经理又给每人要了一碗面条，偏偏他是台湾人，吃什么都默默无闻、不露声色，面条也不例外，而让我不出声吃面条我还真不会，本来就没吃饱，挺好吃的面条摆在面前却不能嘻哩吐噜吃个痛快，真是难受。 吃完面条后众人不愿散去，讲起各色笑话，都是我半年前听过的，看着他们津津乐道的德行，我想我该离开了，这顿饭就算最后的晚餐了。 twenty two 从报纸上看到招聘会信息，我心情无比激动，可见对现工作之深恶痛绝，离开这里迫在眉睫。 辞职前我最后一次参加公司会议，议题是年终总结与明年的工作计划，珍妮玛莎大包大揽，独自承担下众多任务，经理不放心地问，玛莎你行吗，她作为一个女人居然拍着自己的胸脯说，没问题。旁边的同事一个劲儿地笑她，是嘲笑，还看着我笑，因为我在珍妮玛莎手底下干活，在劫难逃。 会议结束后，珍妮玛莎郑重其事地和我谈了谈，说明年她要大展鸿图，希望我协助，我说尽力吧，她特放心地拍了拍我的肩膀说，好好干。 可我早有计划。 twenty three 我对工作就像妓女卖淫一样，只为了钱，她们任凭嫖客摆布，我任老板招之即来挥之即去，虽然出于自愿，但每次发工资时，还是有种被强奸的感觉。 三个月转眼就要过去，转正在即，同事让我请客，可我已做好辞职的准备，殊不知，我辞职的原因之一就是不愿再和他们同桌异味了。 一个同事的老婆要生孩子，每天就听他在办公室磨叨媳妇快生了的事儿，说他媳妇羊水不多，肚子还没他的啤酒肚大。公司每人都掏了腰包，我也随了一百块钱的份儿，他接过钱的时候说，将来我媳妇生小孩的时候他也会给我贺喜，可我呆不到那个时候，估计连媳妇还没找到我就得离开这里，看来这钱是肉包子打了狗崽子。 已然决定离开，我便一改往日的惟命是从，饮水机空了好几天，无论众人怎样威逼利诱，我就是不换，反正每天我带着矿泉水上班。终于有人熬不住了，骂骂咧咧地换了水，完全针对我，好像我的工作没完成，他在替我擦屁股似的。 我发现自己经常处在生活中最尴尬的地位，就像一支足球队中的后卫。当赢得比赛的时候，鲜花掌声荣誉总是送给进球的前锋，当输给对手的时候，唾骂口水斥责统统扔向后卫，无论前锋怎么丢球、被人铲断，即使无法破门也能得到理解，而当后卫被对手突破，带球失误或者踢进乌龙球的时候，总是招致最严厉的谴责。 生活就是势利的观众，对人太他妈不公平了。