Chapter 14 first quarter

Just as the last few pages of a book always go quickly, the last 100 meters of a long-distance race always go fast, and the last year of college goes by quickly. Classes are gone, homework is gone, and time finally belongs to me. Just like money, it is very difficult to spend others’ money, but it is easy to spend your own money. So, when the winter of 2001 came, I realized The first semester of senior year is coming to an end, and a lot of time is used up without knowing what to do. For those students who didn’t have a diploma when they didn’t want to leave school and didn’t work hard in the previous three years, there is one more thing than students of the same year in senior year: make-up exams.When others began to design resumes and futures for themselves, Zou Fei and others were still reviewing the courses a few years ago.

After many years, Zou Fei looked at the textbooks of that year again, and he was able to read them in. His mind is no longer passive, and he can take the initiative to accept it.At that time, I fell into aversion to them, rejected them for thousands of miles, and couldn't get into my head after reading them. Now I find that these courses are not difficult. If I had this mentality at the beginning, I might not be awarded the scholarship to Tsinghua University. On the day of the exam, Zou Fei was sitting in the same examination room as the freshman students. The freshman students asked him who he was, and after learning that he was a senior student, he felt admiration. At the same time, he relieved himself and relaxed his requirements. , there is a senior brother who is a role model, and he is still taking freshman courses after graduation. This time, it doesn't matter if he fails, and Zou Fei also received comfort from his senior brothers in previous years.In both extremes of good and bad, human beings are able to make the waves behind the Yangtze River push the waves ahead, and each generation is stronger than the last.

Shang Qinghua got what he deserved.In the past three and a half years, he has not been studying for a single day. In the end, with the first grade in the class, he succeeded in the postgraduate entrance examination, which is well deserved. Shang Qinghua smiled, this was the first time Zou Fei saw his smile.Shang Qinghua invited everyone to eat hot pot with a smile, put the mutton into his bowl with a smile, and ate it with a smile, forgetting that he was allergic to mutton, and woke up the next day with a swollen face. Early in the morning, he took Yilianbao went to the school hospital first, and prescribed some cheap medicines - berberine and VC Yinqiao tablets again - and then went to the classroom to read.

Feng Aiai broke up with her second cynical boyfriend. She couldn't bear the fact that there was always someone around her who was always talking nonsense about everything. She knew that he was not malicious, but he was always there to treat the society and all mankind as the chief designer. It's annoying enough, too much cross talk and sometimes sleepy. So the two broke up peacefully, and the angry youth's parting words were: "The world is so chaotic, you and I take care of each other, and be careful on the road!" Feng Aiai's reply was: "There are delicious and bad dishes on a table, don't always make things difficult For myself, just pick the unpalatable ones."

Then Feng Aiai found another freshman boy.Rumors about Feng Aiai began to spread with her third relationship in college, Feng Aiai knew what people thought of her, she didn't care about that, her attitude was: "I need love, otherwise I feel You will rot, but love will keep you fresh." Under the criticism and blank eyes of others, Feng Aiai took the freshman boy's hand and walked towards the hotel in front of the school. Time to find a job.Chen Zhiguo, who was the least anxious, became the most anxious person.For more than a thousand days before that, he worked hard for the Youth League Committee and the teachers in the department every day, thinking that he had won goodwill and trust, and he could stay in school after graduation, but he did not expect that the plan fell through.The teachers only think of him when they need labor, and forget about him when they share the fruits of labor, and the places to stay in school are given to students with stronger relationships.So Chen Zhiguo embarked on the road of looking for a job after sighing "don't trust the leader".

He made a resume that anyone who read it would think that he has been busy every day in the past few years of university. He listed two A4 papers of various activities and various positions, and took them to the job fair with great ambition. Some recruiting units read it and said: "You participate in social activities every day, do you still have time to study? We are a scientific research unit, and we are looking for students with good grades." Some units read it and said: "We are looking for work, not command. You have done so many things in your resume, and you are still a leader. How dare we trouble you to work!"

Some units read it and said: "It can be seen that you have strong social skills and rich social experience, but we just want to find people who are like blank paper, easy to cultivate." So Chen Zhiguo made a few resumes with different styles. Although the person written on it was him, after reading it, it made people feel that there were several people.Some portray themselves as learning pacesetters who keep their ears to the outside world, some as passionate activists, and some as sentimental literary youths.Chen Zhiguo put these resumes in folders of different colors and brought them to the job fair to watch people order dishes.

It turned out to be quite effective. Chen Zhiguo received invitations from many units, weighed it according to his own nature and development space, and finally chose a public institution under the district government, signed a five-year work contract, and became the first in his class. A person who finds a job. However, most honest and trustworthy students face rejection when they are looking for a job.As long as the recruiting unit doesn't want you, they can find countless reasons to reject you, no matter how ridiculous these reasons are, even they themselves don't believe it, but as long as they reject you, they would rather make it up like this.

Going to college is no longer the same as having a good job in the future. Going to college, graduating, and finding a job seems to be a patterned path that has been practiced by predecessors, and it is basically foolproof.But what Zou Fei wants is not to be foolproof, but a way that is in line with his nature, which cannot be found in the patterned life.Therefore, he could only find another way. Zou Fei is still pursuing that ethereal thing, although he can't describe what exactly he wants, but he is already familiar with this thing, once it appears, he can distinguish it and clearly know what he doesn't want.

He believes that a meaningful life does not lie in whether each day is more comfortable, comfortable, and more secure than the previous day, but in whether new and unknown things can be discovered.This kind of thing exists in the first place. It was not grasped because of my limited cognition before, but now I have discovered them. This kind of discovery shows that I have grown up and seen myself and the world more clearly.Growing up every day should be the meaning of life.This kind of growth cannot be obtained in the kind of life lived by others. Only by living according to the feeling that one can vaguely distinguish can one truly grow.

Zou Fei began to try to print photos by himself. He used a second-hand Russian enlarger, which he bought from a second-hand market for 600 yuan. He also bought developer, fixer, thermometer, stopwatch, photo paper, etc. The darkroom is set up in my own home, so that when I want to take pictures, I don’t have to be afraid to take pictures for fear of being seen by people who are washing. The first photos were of the buttocks of the six people in the dormitory.After washing out, put the photos of six buttocks and six faces together, and ask people to do a connecting question to see which buttocks correspond to which face.Not only outsiders will put on their hats and put on their hats, but even the parties involved will be right.This experiment made all the participants sigh: "It seems that only knowing what you look like is far from knowing yourself!" As soon as the second semester of senior year started, Tong Yue and her classmates were arranged by the department to go to other places for internships, and they sent photos to Zou Fei. She was wearing a hard hat, standing heroically on the construction site. Big pits, cranes, rough buildings under construction, etc. In the photo, it can be seen that Tong Yue is doing what she likes.Zou Fei knew that Tong Yue also had the ability to do well in her major, but he hadn't found his place yet.He allows himself to be nothing and is okay with his partner having a career, but when those two things happen at the same time, he can't take it. Therefore, the most urgent thing is that he has to find a position for himself.But since he decided to start compensating for the lack of sleep in high school when he was a freshman, Zou Fei has made sleeping in late a habit in three and a half years, and because of this, he doesn't want to go to work.Zou Fei was struggling with contradictions. The first photography-related job Zou Fei received was to take a group of summer swimsuit color matching photos for a newsstand publication. It was introduced by a friend who took photos outside together. He had bigger jobs. If I want to do it, I will transfer the work to Zou Fei. This kind of publication does not have high requirements for the picture, and does not ask for the lighting, shape and color to be artistic, as long as you can see what is what. In the studio, the seaside background cloth has been arranged, with sand beaches, coconut trees, fishing boats, seagulls, etc. printed on it, and an electric fan is connected next to it, which can be turned on when needed, simulating the sea breeze and making the model's long hair flutter. The models are all girls from private art schools or Xiaobei Piao. They don't want to be famous for this kind of work, just to earn some living expenses. After the photo of the last model was taken, Zou Fei packed the camera. The model was wearing a bikini and smoking a cigarette, sitting on a fake rock made of colored plastic foam and looking at him. Zou Fei glanced at the model: "Put it on, it's so cold." "Don't let me freeze if you know it's cold!" The model stubbed out the cigarette. "What do you mean?" Zou Fei set up his camera. "They all said that if you want a photo, you have to go to bed." The model waited for Zou Fei to take action. "Who are they?" Zou Fei sat still. "Those people who used to take pictures of me." The model took off her upper body clothing herself. Zou Fei took a hard look. It was the first time he saw a woman other than Tong Yue at close range, and he didn't find any major accidents. He said, "The photos I took are very cheap." "Then I want it too," said the model. "Doesn't that make you look cheap?" Zou Fei said. "It's not cheap. I'll be able to pick up the job after I have the photos. Hurry up, I have to drive back to school soon!" said the model. Zou Fei took out the film and gave it to her: "Go and wash it yourself, find a better photocopying shop that can make you look better." Then he left the studio. This job earned Zou Fei five hundred yuan.When he got the 500 yuan, Zou Fei had an idea: Since he likes to take pictures and can earn money, he should find a job as a photographer. So he began to participate in job fairs, submit resumes to various newspapers and magazines, and apply for photographers.When people who received resumes saw Zou Fei's majors, they often didn't have the enthusiasm to chat with him, and they were more willing to find graduates who matched their majors. Being rejected repeatedly has inspired Zou Fei's fighting spirit. Whenever there is a job fair, he will go there, regardless of the long distance, and is prepared to still not be hired.Just like many people who will go to the casino when they arrive in Macau, they know that the probability of losing money is much higher than the probability of winning money, but they still go.Human beings have this rare masochistic spirit that is willing to torture themselves. Tong Yue is back from her internship.When the train was approaching Beijing, she texted Zou Fei and asked, "Are you coming to pick me up?" At that time, Zou Fei had just spread out the booth for developing photos in the darkroom, and finally waited until dark, sealed the windows, boiled the water, soaked the developer and fixer, so he texted Tong Yue back: "I am developing photos. , can you not go?" Tong Yue knows that Zou Fei is a self-centered person, and when doing something she likes, she will not be attracted by the outside world, no matter how big it is. This is what she likes about Zou Fei, so Tong Yue understands that she left . After Tong Yue returned to Beijing, she quickly found a job. After graduation, she went to a design institute to draw pictures. The salary was high, with quarterly bonuses and year-end bonuses. Adding up the mess, it was enough to earn the income of a small white-collar worker.This invisibly put a lot of pressure on Zou Fei. He appeared more frequently at job fairs and sent out several resumes each time, but none of them called him to ask him to talk further. Zou Fei made a calculation. If the recruiting unit regards professional counterparts as the first employment criterion, then it will be his turn to get a job opportunity only after all the fresh and previous students majoring in photography have finished finding jobs. When it was his turn, the next class of students flooded out of the school again, forcing him to think about going to university again so that he could find a job with the corresponding major four years later. If he waited for job opportunities, maybe four years After a year, it will not be my turn.But his current age and mood determine that he doesn't need to waste another four years to study an undergraduate degree, but it's a waste of time to just stay at home after graduation.At this time, the weather is getting hotter and hotter, and the day of graduation is getting closer and closer. All Zou Fei can do is to lie shirtless on a wooden bed with only a layer of sheets on it. The body is stimulated and feels its own existence, and it is more reliable to weigh the two methods of wasting time.Later, I found out that doing this thing itself was a waste of time. Not only did I not get any results, but I also wasted the time in front of me. Under the coercion and lure of his family and Lin Meng, Rossi took the civil servant exam. During the interview, the person in charge of the recruitment told him frankly that the funds approved by the unit for recruitment this time were not much, and if Rossi could come to work in the future , I hope he can sponsor some.Rossi rejected the other party's request. He said: "I don't want to enter the society in such a way from the beginning, and then face people who also entered the society in this way after many years." This move was criticized by Lin Meng, saying that the Queen Mother Rossi was hypocritical.Rossi said that's all I am, what's the matter, don't be nice to me if you think I'm prudish.Lin Meng said that I got along with you only because you were serious, and if you were really serious, I would look down on you! Lin Meng also made arrangements for her own way out.The department has an academic cooperation with a school in Canada to train graduate students. The department can recommend five people to study in Canada, and Lin Meng is one of them.From the point of view of the five finalists, not only must they have outstanding grades, but they must also have a good relationship with the teacher.It was not until the quota was announced that Lin Meng opened up to Rossi: "From the first day of enrollment, I have been working hard for this quota." What puzzled Rossi was why Lin Meng knew about this kind of thing from the beginning, but he would not know it until now if it wasn't because he was Lin Meng's boyfriend.Lin Meng said, this is also where you attracted me to like. After everyone learned about this, they all admired Lin Meng from the bottom of their hearts: in her four years of college, she had realized all her dreams, including getting Rossi. Fan Wenqiang has no hope of graduating. From his freshman year to the present, those who passed the make-up exam still failed nine courses, and one of them failed to pass the make-up exam three times. According to the credit system, there will be no chance for this course to make up the exam. , that is to say, he could not get his graduation certificate, but Fan Wenqiang still found a job and worked with his brother. Shang Qinghua asked Fan Wenqiang: "Do you not need a diploma to work at your brother's place?" Fan Wenqiang said: "If he dares to mention the graduation certificate to me, I will tear up that page in his household registration book." "Then what exactly are you doing at your brother's place?" "I can do whatever I want!" "Does your brother pay you?" "I'm his younger brother, can he starve me!" "Can I still play games while working there?" "Of course, I won't go if I can't play games. I'm optimistic about it. The computer in his crappy office has a 3D graphics card, just to welcome me!" The family helped Zou Fei find a job as an assistant to the general manager of an imported car 4S store. What he was engaged in and what he studied had the word "car", which was barely a professional counterpart, but Zou Fei didn't want to go because he was very playful. , work must be something he likes, and it should be regarded as fun. If he really works for work, he will not be able to do it. The resume submitted by Zou Fei finally heard back. A Shenzhen newspaper called Zou Fei and asked him if he would like to work in Shenzhen.At that time, Zou Fei and Tong Yue were in a hotel near the school. This room was shared by Zou Fei and Luo Xi. The money was half of each person, and the room was used for twelve hours. There were two beds in the room, and each used one. This is cost-effective. Zou Fei and Tong Yue spent the first twelve hours, and not long after they came in, they received a call from this newspaper. Zou Fei applied for a job as a photojournalist.When asked if he could stay in Shenzhen, Zou Fei didn't think much about it, and said, of course, he didn't want to lose this hard-won opportunity—maybe it's because those photography majors don't want to leave Beijing. It's his turn. Tong Yue knew that Zou Fei was looking for a job, but she didn't know that he had submitted his resume to an out-of-town unit. She thought Zou Fei would stay with her in Beijing, and this call surprised her. "Why are you going out of town?" Tong Yue asked Zou Fei after he hung up the phone. "What's wrong with other places? Why do you divide Beijing and other places so clearly?" Zou Fei said. "Do you hope that we can't see each other several times a year?" Tong Yue said, "It's not like Beijing doesn't have jobs." "You can find a job with your professional counterpart, how about me?" As a client who has been rejected time and time again, Zou Fei is well aware of the difficulties. "It's hard to find a job, you can look for it slowly, why do you have to rush to another place?" "I have submitted so many resumes, I know what's going on, and I can't find it by looking slowly. If you miss this time, the next opportunity may be when it will be, and maybe it will never be there at all." "If you don't have it, you don't have it. It's a big deal not to go to work." "But you can go to work after graduation, and everyone else has jobs too." "Then what's the matter, or I won't go to work and stay with you." "It's okay to talk about it. It's okay for a day or two, but it's not enough for a year or two." "You can't go out of town anyway." "It's not certain what's going on. Maybe they can be in Beijing often. They also have a reporter station here. Besides, they haven't said to use me yet!" Tong Yue stopped talking, remained silent for a while, and suddenly got up from the bed: "I'm going back." She began to pack her things. "It's not twelve hours yet." Zou Fei lay still. "Let Rossi and the others come earlier!" Tong Yue took her things and left the room. "Wait for me!" Seeing that Tong Yue had really left, Zou Fei jumped up from the bed. Zou Fei still went to see the human resources director of that newspaper with Tong Yue on his back, and visited their reporter station in Beijing.Zou Fei asked if he could stay in Beijing in the future, and the other party said that there is no shortage of people in the Beijing station. This time, he is recruiting people for the Shenzhen head office. There is a two-month internship period. After the date, both parties are satisfied and sign a formal labor contract.After introducing the overall situation of the newspaper, the human resources director was quite polite and asked Zou Fei if he had any questions.Zou Fei thought for a while, and asked curiously: "Since Shenzhen is short of people, why don't you recruit in Shenzhen, but come to Beijing to recruit?" The other party's reply was: "Because I feel that the people in Beijing have a higher cultural quality." The result of Zou Fei's discussion with the other party is that he should give the other party a letter within a week. If it is ok, he will go to the Shenzhen Headquarters to register first, receive a week of corporate culture and history training, and then go back to school and wait for graduation. After getting the diploma You can start an internship. After going back, Zou Fei conveyed his intention to Tong Yue: "I'll go and see first, what's not certain!" Tong Yue didn't say anything, Zou Fei felt that it was not good for him to go to Shenzhen rashly without Tong Yue making a statement, so he didn't contact the newspaper immediately.He is not in a hurry until the fire is imminent. On the sixth day, Zou Fei was eating with Tong Yue in the cafeteria, when the other party called suddenly and asked Zou Fei if he had considered it, and said: "If you can't make a decision, we will find someone else. The time for employee training is uniform." "It's settled, I'll be there in a few days." Zou Fei quickly agreed to the other party on the phone. From this moment, Tong Yue knew what Zou Fei was thinking.She had known for a long time that no one could change what Zou Fei had thought up, even if it was wrong, he would keep going until he realized it.When he was a sophomore, Zou Fei hated the teacher of an elective course, so he refused to take it and didn’t hand in his homework. As a result, he was disqualified from the exam and didn’t get any credits. In fact, he could just copy whatever he wanted. Turn in the homework, but because he hates the teacher, he would rather give up the credits and have to take another course again in the future.Tong Yue regards this characteristic of Zou Fei as his advantage, and appreciates it very much. She never thought that at this time, what she admired would be difficult for her to accept. After hanging up the phone, Zou Fei saw Tong Yue looking at him, and then he remembered that he made a decision without discussing it with Tong Yue. He didn't pay much attention to her, and explained: "I'll do it first, can I talk about it?" It’s not certain to stay here, maybe I might be transferred to Beijing in the future.” Tong Yue is too familiar with these words.When things that Tong Yue didn't want and Zou Fei hoped might happen, Zou Fei always used "not sure yet" to fool Tong Yue. From the result, every time he developed according to his ideas, there was no Not once really. Tong Yue knew that it was basically a foregone conclusion for Zou Fei to go to work in Shenzhen.She deliberately acted indifferent: "Then go and have a look first." Zou Fei is complacent about thinking that he has Tong Yue's understanding. When he arrived in Shenzhen, Zou Fei discovered a new world.This strange city makes him full of fighting spirit, while Beijing makes him tired.This feeling made him feel that Beijing could not stay any longer.For people in their early twenties, no matter whether the distance is really good or not, it will always be more attractive than home. That time when Zou Fei went to Yunnan to find Tong Yue, he had the idea that he must go to other places more often in the future.Life in Beijing is easy and comfortable, easy to be complacent, thinking that life is all about the things around you, so many Beijingers are like uncles, disdain for everything, thinking that living in the root of the imperial city can know the world's affairs, in fact Everyone knows too little about the vastness of life.Going to places where the eyes can't see and the ears can't hear to feel and feel can make people gain insight. On the train back to Beijing, Zou Fei had made up his mind. He wanted to come to this vast world to make a difference, but he didn't know how to tell Tong Yue. Back at school, Zou Fei hadn't figured out how to tell Tong Yue, but got a shocking news from Tong Yue.He originally wanted to describe the pretty good situation in Shenzhen first, and then let Tong Yue make a decision for him: "Okay, let's go, and talk about other things later!" But he didn't expect that after he finished describing, Tong Yue Said: "How many people want to stay at home, but you, the farther away from home, the happier you are." "It's okay. From now on, we can call and send text messages every day. If we're not busy, we can go to see each other. The plane will arrive in three hours." Zou Fei enlightened Tong Yue. "It won't be a three-hour distance from now on." Tong Yue was depressed. "Yes, if the plane speeds up and catches up with the wind, it might arrive in two hours." Zou Fei deliberately teased. "I'm going to England next month." Tong Yue looked away and said. Zou Fei was dumbfounded. Zou Fei heard from Wu Ping that their department also has cooperation programs with foreign universities to train graduate students. Tong Yue was originally recommended to study in a British university, but Tong Yue refused. She wanted to stay in Beijing.After returning from the internship, the department decided to give up the spot to another girl who was better at studying. When Tong Yue decided to go to graduate school again, the girl who was about to pack her bags had to hurry to find a job. "After she knew that Tong Yue was going to England again because you were going to Shenzhen, she hated you to death!" Wu Ping said. Only at this moment did Zou Fei realize that Tong Yue is an independent individual, and it is impossible for him and her to become one person.Before he ignored Tong Yue, he was always self-centered, thinking that he and Tong Yue were a whole, that when he was full, she was not hungry; when he was happy, she was happy, but he never thought that Tong Yue would have an independent life. Thoughts, will not be happy. They can be one together, but always two. When my mother knew that Tong Yue was going to study in the UK, her first reaction was: "Is it because of Zou Fei that you left the country?" Looking at her foresight, it seemed that she still hadn't said a word: "I You didn't listen to what you said back then!" Tong Yue couldn't understand her mother's success, and firmly refused to admit it: "What does this have to do with him, why don't I go to graduate school!" "What will he do when you go?" Mom watched Tong Yue pack her clothes. "What should I do? He's in his class. It's not like I won't come back." Tong Yue pretended to be indifferent. "You two can't see each other once every six months, how long can it last?" "Why not?" "Anyway, I don't think it's reliable." "Then you mean that I will not be allowed to go out to graduate school?" "I don't mean that, what kind of job did Zou Fei find?" "I haven't found it yet!" Tong Yue didn't want her mother to know too much. "It's hard to find, or he doesn't want to find it. I've already seen that he's not sure about it." "I think you are not down-to-earth, and you always hope that others will be down-to-earth, which just suits your wishes." "By the way, our unit is short of an ambulance driver. Doesn't he major in automobiles? Let him come to us, and I can supervise him for you." "You mean it. What does car manufacturing have to do with drivers? I'm still studying architecture. I can be a migrant worker in the future." "Then Zou Fei has to go to work, he will graduate soon, and he will stay at home all day from now on?!" "You don't need to worry about it, just put your heart on your patients!" Although there were problems in the relationship with Zou Fei because of their respective futures, Tong Yue still didn't want her mother to intervene. It can be said that Tong Yue's choice to go abroad for postgraduate study was an instinctive confrontation against Zou Fei's desire to go to work in Shenzhen.Because Zou Fei only cared about his personal pursuit and ignored her existence, her stubbornness came up again: "I can give up a lot of things for you, but since you are so loyal to yourself and refuse to give up anything for me, then I also There's no need to give up anything for you." Tong Yue believes in love and longs for love.Compared with anything else, she prefers to be with the person she likes. She chooses to leave now because of the consideration of correcting the love that has grown crooked. Otherwise, this love tree that has been bred for several years will just blindly According to Zou Fei's personal wishes, it will become even more crooked. Wu Ping suggested to Zou Fei: "If you stay in Beijing, Tong Yue will not leave." But Zou Fei never thought about it this way. Both of them have stayed in Beijing, but every time they think about it because of mutual accommodation, they feel that their love has changed. Zou Fei's attitude is that if Tong Yue can go abroad, let her go. In all fairness, this in itself is a good thing for Tong Yue's growth, and she also likes this major, and receiving further education will be of great benefit to her future work. .The two have only been separated for three years, and they can do a lot of things in these three years. He doesn't believe that he will still be working as a small photojournalist in Shenzhen three years later, and he doesn't believe that Beijing will not be able to accommodate him three years later.Three years later, the two of them will only be in their twenties, so they must be better than they are now. So when he learned that Tong Yue was going abroad, Zou Fei accepted the reality after the accident.