Chapter 13 Section VI

It is difficult for Zou Fei to find happiness in school.Fortunately, more than half of the university has passed, and we can start to look forward to the natural change of the situation after leaving school.This state lasted until the second half of the junior year. In the second half of the junior year, I suddenly felt that I had more time, and there were basically no classes in the afternoon.Some people began to prepare for the postgraduate entrance examination, some people started to look for work outside, and Fan Wenqiang began to think about suicide further. Fan Wenqiang said: "Cobain lived to be 27 years old, shot himself, and died. I will be 27 in a few more years, but I am still here. Staying here is not a problem, the problem is It’s meaningless to stay like this, it’s purely a waste of life and food, and it also creates garbage. Therefore, I respect Cobain. Those who commit suicide are spiritually obnoxious, and they deserve to be respected. Of course, there are some who pretend to be spiritually obnoxious , People who are still alive and well, I can only admire them-spirit and action are so divided, but the two can exist harmoniously in him."

"Then have you decided on your last words?" Lao Xie asked him, "And who will inherit your game consoles, binoculars and other properties?" "I think about today's result, let's forget it, if you can live well, live well, if you can't live well, just make do!" Fan Wenqiang said. "Didn't you always think of yourself as a brave person?" Old Xie asked. "Cobain has enjoyed enough life, and death is worthwhile. As for me, except for playing more games than Cobain, I can't compare with him. This shows that I am different from him in essence, see this clearly It is very important, it shows that I am gradually seeing myself. I now find that living requires more courage than dying. This is a bit pretentious, but it is not without reason, so I am not without courage, and there are people who commit suicide. Courage, maybe you drank too much or just finished high drugs, and shot yourself in a daze."

After saying these words, Fan Wenqiang got into bed, set the alarm clock at ten o'clock in the evening, and prepared to recharge his batteries and go to the Internet cafe for a night out. "For the sake of the game business, I will not take the initiative to die." After leaving these words, Fan Wenqiang closed his eyes. Zou Fei continued to spend the spare time thinking about life.He found that his pain stemmed from the way he looked at life. He has been using his own standards to live, waiting for the day when the world meets him. The parts I have come into contact with have changed smoothly.

At this time, he thinks that his request is the foundation of being a human being. Some people participate in life without refusing or thinking about it—such as those who can learn whatever courses are arranged by the school, and read whatever books are arranged. Students, such as those adults who seem to have nothing to pursue except commuting to and from get off work every day-this is irresponsible to themselves. To put it more seriously, this is a waste of life than doing nothing like Fan Wenqiang. Zou Fei's standard is to live a life in which he can strongly feel his own existence.He feels that only in this way can a person who knows how to walk the road of life be worthy of being a person who has received a higher education. However, many students around him now, although they are receiving higher education and have advanced knowledge, are They don't have advanced culture, and some people don't even have basic culture.

Zou Fei thinks that he treats life with a detachment attitude—detachment from life itself, not just for eating, sleeping and keeping the body alive.It was not until many years later that he realized his mistakes. This kind of self-righteous renunciation was exactly the opposite of the real renunciation, and it was actually a serious "self".Suffering arises naturally from being too concerned with this "self."But at this time, he is still willing to be a person who lives with his brain. Zou Fei often goes out to drink at night recently.Usually at ten o'clock in the evening, after calling Tong Yue or sending her back to the dormitory, Zou Fei would go to the small restaurant with a few boys, drink until one or two o'clock in the morning, and then jump out of the window and go back to the dormitory——for the old janitor to If he was not woken up repeatedly at night by students who came home late knocking on the door, he deliberately did not close the window. This matter has been tacitly understood between the students and the old man.

It has become Zou Fei's habit to have to drink some wine from time to time, and it is not clear whether this is a psychological or physical behavior.After drinking, the world will be beautiful, or you will be numb and ignore the bad things. Every time before and after drinking, Zou Fei believes that the family members of the alcoholic should not blame the alcoholic, but try to understand their pain. Once Tong Yue looked for Zou Fei, but he couldn't find him. Someone told Tong Yue that Zou Fei had gone drinking.A few days later, Tong Yue called Zou Fei's dormitory and heard that he went drinking again.The next day, Tong Yue asked Zou Fei: "Why didn't you tell me when you went out to drink?"

"What can I say?" Zou Fei thought it was his own business, "I don't need to tell you everything!" "So you haven't told me anything else?" "I've told you everything I need to tell you, and you know it too. If I tell you everything in detail, won't you be bored to death?" "Then why do you always go out to drink?" Tong Yue found that there was still something about Zou Fei that she didn't understand. "There's no reason. If someone calls me, I'll go. It's the same as if someone calls me to play football, I'll go." Zou Fei didn't want Tong Yue to know that he drank because of his quarrel with the world. He wants to solve his own problems by himself, others can't help him, and he doesn't want to tell anyone.

Tong Yue knew that it was not as simple as what Zou Fei said, but she didn't ask any further.Everyone needs to have their own spiritual space, Tong Yue understood this truth, and stopped at the door of Zou Fei's space. It's time for the exam again.Although Zou Fei doesn't like exams, he is still looking forward to them, because life needs stimulation, and a semester's life is like a pool of stagnant water. Someone needs to throw a stone to break the calm and inject vitality into life.Undoubtedly, exams are a good way to break the slow pace of life. Even if you fail a class, just like being injured in a war, it still can't stop those who like to realize their value in this kind of behavior from starting a war. Zou Fei is willing to accept the challenge of the exam.

The summer is as hot as ever, the things in the book are as strange as ever, and the energy to wrestle with them is also the same as always. Beijing successfully bid to host the Olympic Games at this time.At that time, Zou Fei was preparing for the class of metal materials in the classroom, when he suddenly heard the sound of stomping the floor and cheering from the direction of the dormitory building, followed by the sound of beer bottles being thrown down and shattered from upstairs like raindrops.Zou Fei hurried out to ask what was wrong, thinking that the United States bombed the embassy of the motherland there again, and the students were going to parade.After inquiring, I found out that the Olympic bid was successful.

In the next half an hour, the sound of the wine bottle breaking was heard endlessly. Everyone tried every means to find the wine bottle from every corner, and threw it to the hardest place with all the strength of the whole body.Among these broken wine bottles, in addition to those used for celebration, there are also some people who can’t find anything to be happy about in their lives for a long time, so they smashed two wine bottles together to vent. Not long after, college students from various colleges and universities gathered at the China Millennium Monument, waving national flags, school flags, and the bamboo poles on which the flags had disappeared, and coordinating with the TV station to broadcast the celebration live.At this time, the arrival of the new century had not been long, and the Millennium Monument was very popular as a building for the occasion, and major celebrations were held here.On TV, college students swayed their youthful vigor and celebrated for the motherland.

Seven years later, when the Olympic Games was really held in Beijing, the students who celebrated the successful bid had already been working in Beijing for several years, and began to complain about all the troubles the Olympic Games brought to their lives. They were both watching the excitement and complaining , I don’t know if they still remember that night seven years ago, at that time, whether they would think of their own attitude towards the Olympic Games in the future.Today's Millennium Monument has become a declining building in Beijing. Few activities are held here, and no one mentions it anymore. Zou Fei recalled the failed bid eight years ago. At that time, he was in the second year of middle school and had just developed. In his Chinese textbook, there was a letter written by He Zhenliang, then head of the Chinese Olympic bid delegation, to the Olympic Organizing Committee.Eight years have passed in a flash, how damn fast, I have already developed, it seems that the middle school Chinese textbooks in the future will definitely be changed to this letter to the Olympic Organizing Committee, or put the two letters together, and then publish a Thinking question: Try to compare the two letters written to the Olympic Organizing Committee in the past eight years, explaining the changes and development of China's determination to bid for the Olympic Games. Zou Fei was feeling emotional when he suddenly received a call from Duo Duo, saying that Wei Wei had been taken away by the police station after a fight. When Zou Fei arrived at the police station, Wei Wei had already been locked up.According to Duoduo, Wei Wei got into an argument with a young British man next to him when he was drinking while watching the live broadcast of the Olympic bid. The young British man was not convinced because London lost to Beijing, so he listed all kinds of problems in China at the wine table and threatened If these problems are not resolved, Beijing will not be worthy of hosting the Olympic Games.Wei Wei surged up a strong sense of patriotism through Jiu Jin, and persuaded the British youth not to talk about things they didn't know.The British youth became more and more excited as they spoke. They could no longer keep up with their thinking in Chinese and switched to their mother tongue. Wei Wei couldn’t understand it either. He only heard the British youth say “Fuck” and danced and pointed at Wei Wei.Wei Wei couldn't take it anymore, picked up the beer bottle on the table and gave it to the British youth.After all, he came from a western civilized country. The British youth couldn't fight back. He covered his head with one hand and called the police with the other. His head was bleeding and he still didn't forget to use legal means to protect his rights. Wei Wei did not abscond. He drank beer and waited for the police to comment. He felt that he was fighting for the honor of the country and should not be punished. The police came, and after learning about the situation, they took Wei Wei into the car.Wei Wei asked why he was arrested. There is nothing wrong with being patriotic.The police said he didn't care what the motive was, but Wei Wei beat people first, which violated the criminal law, so he had to go with them. Zou Fei said a lot of good things but still couldn't see Wei Wei, the answer he got was: "It's not a big deal, you can see him in seven days." Zou Fei and Dodo came out from the police station, Dodo stopped in front of the canteen, bought a bottle of cold beer, drank a couple of sips, and then suddenly slammed on the wall: "Fuck!" Zou Fei comforted Douduo: "I will accompany you to pick up Wei Wei in seven days." Dodo said with tears in her eyes, "I'm fine. I succeeded in my Olympic bid. Let me celebrate." Seven days later, Wei Wei appeared as scheduled.On the eighth day, Wei Wei was expelled from school.When the director of academic affairs talked with him, Wei Wei did not ask the school to forgive him.Many people feel sorry for him. He will be able to get his graduation certificate in one year, but Wei Wei feels that it is useless to get it. . A successful Olympic bid will change the fate and image of a country, but it cannot change the fate of an insignificant student in this country. The three years of college ended like this.