Chapter 13 Chapter Eleven Confession

When I got home, my mother-in-law was playing with the baby.Yu Ying felt a little tired after working all day. Acupuncture is actually something that requires a lot of concentration, and it is not as easy as most people imagine.Sometimes after treating a patient, Yu Ying herself would break out in a fine sweat.And she has many old customers staring at her. As soon as she returned to the city, many people came to insist on Dr. Yu's treatment. Already starting to feel uncomfortable.Yu Ying knew that this was actually a psychological effect, but she couldn't refuse. From morning to night, I finally found time to have dinner with Ran Ran. I don't know if the meal is good or not, I just know that I am full of gas.

But she didn't dare to complain about suffering and tiredness. If she complained about suffering and tiredness, she would definitely be laughed at.Others will say: "What's so hard and tiring about you? Are you working from 9 to 5? Are you taking the bus? Do you have to worry about paying the rent every month? You have good food and clothing, and you still Shouting bitterness in front of us poor people, don't we all have to hang ourselves?" Cheng Ji wouldn't understand either, he would say: "Is it bitter? It's not bitter! Treating people is such a joy, saving a person is especially rewarding."

That is, it was a matter of life and death for him, and Yu Ying couldn't feel the sense of accomplishment of saving a life with a single injection.Chinese medicine has to be treated slowly, one course of treatment, followed one-on-one, unlike Western medicine, where once the knife is opened and the excess things are cleaned up, a life can be saved. Yu Ying was sore all over, because she had eaten, so she also lay down on the sofa and played with the baby with her hand rattle.As the baby grows older, she will look at her and smile, and her eyes will follow the brightly colored hand bell.While she was half kneeling on the ground playing with the baby, the phone rang.

Wu Borong and Yu Ying sat on the top of Jiufeng Mountain and watched the sunrise. Both of them told their families to get up early to exercise, and Jiufeng Mountain is indeed the best place to exercise.The two drove their cars to the parking lot halfway up the mountain, and then climbed to the top of the mountain in one breath while it was still dark.There are already some people waiting to watch the sunrise on the top of the mountain. Those people are very young and full of vigor. Yu Ying has been trying all means to meet Wu Borong during this period of time, the two of them tacitly let their emotions drive them, and they found all kinds of excuses.These excuses are all available, even if they are seen by others, it doesn't matter.

As long as they stay together, even if they are separated by a few meters, watching the sunrise together, and then go down the mountain one after the other without saying anything, this is also a good enjoyment. She and he had passed the period of extreme physical obsession.When we first got together, we wanted to have sex every minute, but after Huang Yundong's breakup trip, the two of them were no longer so impulsive, and sometimes they just wanted to take a look from a distance.When she was eating lunch at that Japanese sushi restaurant, he was in the car under the shade of a tree not far away.

I made fewer phone calls, and rarely exchanged text messages, and the number of times I went to the hotel to open a room was also greatly reduced.But this does not mean that the relationship between the two is safe, on the contrary, Yu Ying feels that this is a real danger.They are all guarding this relationship like moths to a flame. Because it is rare, because it will burn, and because it is cherished, I hold it carefully, and I don't know how to deal with myself. In fact, people are inseparable from love, but when love really comes, everyone will feel afraid, not knowing what consequences that thing will bring to life, so they simply look at each other neither far nor near.

Lu Jie pushed open the door of Yu Ying's clinic.Zhou Lijin stood up and asked, "Excuse me, sir, do you have an appointment?" "I, I know Dr. Yu, I have something to ask her." "I'll let you know." Zhou Lijin wanted to stop her, but she didn't.Lu Jie pushed the office door and went in. Yu Ying was finishing a patient, sitting on the sofa to rest, there was still a cup of hot tea in front of her, and she didn't bother to take a sip.Seeing Lu Jie coming in, he waved Zhou Lijin out. "Doctor Yu, have you ever treated a patient like this?" Lu Jie was rejected on the phone, so he had to come to the door in person.

Yu Ying didn't get up either: "Mr. Lu, you look good and are in good health. There is really no need to come to me, and I have nothing to help you." She was really tired. Complaining to her about the hardships of life, she took more than an hour of treatment, and she was forced to endure the patient's speech-style talk about the ins and outs of her family disputes, which were full of dog-blood complexes from Hong Kong dramas, such as mistresses, illegitimate children, and wealthy families seizing power Yu Ying's head hurts when she hears it, and it's inconvenient to offend that rich patient.

When she first sent the patient away, she wondered if she would raise the price a little next time, and charge the psychiatrist's fee together, otherwise this kind of mental torture would be an endless thing. Sit down and make a cup of clear tea, the teacup is elegant, it is a gift from Wu Borong, the name of the brand is unknown.Yu Ying didn't pay much attention to these brand-name items, but Wu Borong knew everything, but he kept it secret.The gift he gave was not too expensive, Yu Ying wouldn't take it if it was too expensive, she couldn't bear it.However, he will not spend less time because of this, he will keep in mind everything that Yu Ying mentioned unintentionally, and will send someone to deliver a gift that is exactly what Yu Ying wants.

It is also with this kind of power that dripping water pierces rocks that Yu Ying, the solid ice, can be melted little by little, and Yu Ying is finally obtained. Yu Ying looked at Lu Jie. Although he seemed to have some skills, he was still too young and immature.Maybe in front of a girl like Ran Ran, he is so cool and attractive, playing cards out of common sense to make people appreciate him, but Yu Ying is past the age to appreciate him.She hates men who don't play cards according to common sense, making people don't know how to deal with it, making people uncomfortable, making people feel anxious, not knowing what the next step is.

This kind of man only brings endless troubles to women, Yu Ying doesn't understand why Ran Ran likes to make such troubles.Perhaps a young girl who has just grown up thinks that such troubles can dramatize an ordinary life. But, Yu Ying doesn't want to be dramatic, she reaches for the teacup, and the pure and snow-like body of the cup warms her hand, what she wants is this kind of caring, so that people don't bother thinking, every step will be thought of in advance. Well, and the two can have a seamless relationship, both physically and spiritually. If Yu Ying still doesn't know what Lu Jie wants to do, then she must have lived in vain for so many years.However, Yu Ying looked at Lu Jie strangely, how could he come up with this trick?how is this possible?None of them are from the same world. Looking at Yu Ying's calm expression, Lu Jie knew how she was laughing at him.Lu Jie hated her look very much. There was a look that my old lady didn't look down on you at all, and didn't take you seriously at all. That kind of look was hidden behind decent politeness, which made people hate it even more. Lu Jie got straight to the point: "I know you look down on me now. Since I'm here, I can expect you to look down on me. I admit that I'm a bitch, and I know you'll look at me like that, but I still come to you. But, I'm thinking, If I don't come to my door, when can you come to me!" Yu Ying lowered her face: "Mr. Lu was joking, we are neither relatives nor relatives, why should we come here?" "You know what I mean." "How would I know what you mean?" Yu Ying dismissed. "I have my eyes on you." Lu Jie lit a cigarette.For this kind of woman, she doesn't pay attention to any tricks you play. The best way to deal with her is to get straight to the point and say what you have. "Then what expression do you want me to make? You're so moved? Look, I'm old and handsome guys are crazy about me." Yu Ying almost laughed out loud. Lu Jie came here to pretend to be a lover, what did he want to do?Just had a date with Ran Ran, feeling uncomfortable, come to meet Ran Ran's aunt again?At that time, do you want to take Ran Ran's old lady away by the way? "You don't have to be so mean. It's not your right to be mean if someone likes you." Yu Ying stood up: "That's the problem, Mr. Lu. Why do you think that since you came to tell me that you like me, I have to speak nicely to you?" "I'm just not used to hiding my feelings, and I don't think I have a chance." Lu Jie stared into her eyes, but he was immediately disappointed.Yu Ying looked directly into his pupils without flinching at all, and those eyes did not avoid at all, they stabbed like a knife, with the cold light of stars inside. "You think I have a lover, so you have a chance? Mr. Lu, how old are you this year? Have you played too many love games with that little girl, and your EQ has problems? I have a lover, and that's my Yu Ying's business. You, Lu Jie, can neither threaten me nor have any influence on me. You'd better stay away from me and Ran Ran. The women of the Yu family are not as fun as you imagined. I assure you, they are not fun at all. When Yu Ying said this, Lu Jie felt the murderous aura rising from this woman.Her last sentence was very soft, but Lu Jie didn't feel funny at all. He suddenly realized that he had made a mistake, he couldn't treat Yu Ying the same way as an ordinary woman, Yu Ying didn't like that at all.Whether it's straight to the point or playing tricks, Yu Ying doesn't take him seriously at all, and it's useless to use any methods. Lu Jie felt that he had been insulted from the beginning to the end. This was the most thorough time he had been underestimated by a woman in so many years of his life.Although he has never boasted about his attractiveness, he does have his uniqueness; although he has also failed in love, but that kind of failure is not completely ignored by a woman like now. She simply regarded him as rubbish, not even rubbish, her dislike for him was more out of love for Ran Ran.Lu Jie believed that without Yu Ranran's important relationship, Yu Ying would turn her eyes away from him when she saw him, making him a blind spot. When Lu Jie walked out of the clinic, the loss could not be described in words.He showed his full love, but she regarded him as a clown, this cannot be forgiven, and this cannot just let go. Yu Ying doesn't understand that a man's self-esteem cannot be trampled on like this.Maybe it happened that she was in a bad mood, maybe Ran Ran's disobedience had greatly irritated her, maybe she was venting her anger towards Lu Jie, but no matter what, a man's self-esteem cannot be hit like this. But like a car that got out of control, she made herself miss one after another on the road of life, had accidents, and offended others.People always set up roadblocks for themselves little by little, gradually blocking their own way and making it more and more difficult to walk. The quarrel between Wu Borong and Pan Yijia was because of a bathrobe. Looking at the bathrobe afterwards, Pan Yijia couldn't figure out why the two of them quarreled like that over such a thing.What happened to her?Besieged by a demon, possessed by a ghost, or his brain is broken? At that time, Wu Borong was taking a bath inside and shouted to Pan Yijia: "Pass me my bathrobe." Pan Yijia stood up, took a bathrobe from the closet and handed it in.She noticed that Wu Borong stretched out his hand, which was covered with drops of water, which were crystal clear.Her heart trembled, and the bathrobe fell to the floor. Wu Borong pulled the door ajar, glanced at her and said, "Why are you so careless!" Then Pan Yijia started yelling: "I don't remember to bring clothes when I take a shower, so I have the nerve to say that I am not careful." Wu Borong had already dressed and came out, and saw Pan Yijia standing barefoot on the floor, leaning against the bedroom door with his head bowed angrily.He didn't know where he made her angry, so he could only say: "What's the matter, I'm coming to my aunt, aren't you in a good mood? It's not the right time!" "None of your business!" Pan Yijia pulled the door, went in by herself, and then closed the bedroom door firmly.Wu Borong pushed it a few times but didn't push it away. It was almost eleven o'clock, and he didn't talk to her when he saw her making a fuss, and went to sleep in the guest room by himself.Anyway, this house is big, mostly private rooms. Sitting on the bed, Pan Yijia was sullen. She heard him push the door a few times, and then heard his footsteps leave. She felt her heart rising and falling with the sound of his footsteps.When Wu Borong walked into the living room, she seemed to be pouring a glass of water at the table. The glass was put down, and she walked in again. Her heart was raised again, and when she walked to the door of her room, her heart was beating like she was about to come out, but the footsteps But he walked straight in, and then entered the guest room, only to hear the guest room door shut with a bang. Pan Yijia's heart seemed to be crushed in the crack of the door, the pain was so painful that she was about to burst into tears. Wu Borong doesn't love her anymore, she can feel it.In the past, when he asked her to take the clothes, he always opened the door of the bathroom and let her go in.And now he came out with one hand out, the door was closed, and he was rejecting her. Pan Yijia thought about how Wu Borong didn't care about her these days, even though he still treated her so well, she did everything that should be done, the gifts to be given, the festivals to be celebrated, and the flowers to be given were never missing. However, Pan Yijia knew that those were all things he was familiar with.A person who is well versed in public relations will take care of you in every possible way without sincerity. Wu Borong is just doing what he is best at, which is coaxing women.But this time, there was no sincerity in the way he coaxed himself. Wu Borong's heart is not on him, so, who is his heart on?Pan Yijia didn't sleep that night, her feminine intuition helped her find her own danger.She was born to be a rich wife and cultivated. Her classics, knowledge, temperament, and temperament are all very suitable for being the wife of a successful man. Even her beauty was born for this goal. Now, her position is threatened, and the usually docile woman seems to have been taken away by a demon overnight, and she is thinking about countermeasures in a chaotic state. Pan Yijia had no one to talk to.She is an only child, there are no sisters or brothers who can help with this kind of thing, and her mother is already old, asking her for help will only add to the old man's troubles.And her friends, that is the group that can't ask for help.Those rich wives fight there every day when they have nothing to do. They fight famous brands, beauty, temperament, and taste. The husband they like to fight the most is the husband, who is really worth fighting for.Pan Yijia felt lonely for a while, and she fell into the endless darkness that night.There is no one around her to help her, and no one to save her, who can point her to a way. However, Wu Borong chose her as his wife not because of her appearance and temperament, but also because of the intelligence hidden in her.At that time, he thought that this woman had an empathetic intelligence that would make men's lives very comfortable.Now it is this kind of innate wisdom that is saving Pan Yijia who is hidden in a desperate situation.She was thinking about her marriage, she had nothing, and everything she had was given by Wu Borong. Her happiness is actually just a bone, a bone that Wu Borong gave when he was willing to give it.She didn't know how much money Wu Borong had, and whether the money belonged to her.If Wu Borong is lost, her life will be gone, and her current life is completely based on Wu Borong's existence.The most important thing is that she loves Wu Borong. This is a matter of no choice and no suspense. She meets him and marries him. There is only such a man in her world. She does her best to be a good wife, maybe there are some things that are not perfect, but she is doing her best.She is generous and decent, she is as gentle as water, she is knowledgeable, she is considerate, she arranges the family, and she makes a home full of warmth. She touched the furniture in this house, all those gorgeous furniture were picked by herself.She built this home, no, she can't give up this home and this man, these are her career, her youth, her life, she must defend to the end. Thinking of this, Pan Yijia smiled like a mature woman. She was forced to break out of the cocoon and become a butterfly under the strong sense of crisis, and began her own transformation. Li Momei stumbled twice in Yu Ying's hands, and the diamond king who finally found it did not look for her anymore.Just when she was gnashing her teeth with hatred, she got a great opportunity - her alma mater issued an invitation card, inviting both herself and Cheng Ji to go back to the school to attend the grand ceremony of the 40th anniversary of the school. Yu Ying also received the invitation, but she really couldn't get away.Cheng Ji didn't want to go at first, but Yu Ying said on the sidelines: "It doesn't matter if I don't go. I'm already outside the system. I run a small clinic. Everyone will forgive me for not going. But, if you don't go No, I can receive the invitation because of your face, after all, you are a talent cultivated by our school, if you don't go, I don't know what troubles will happen." Cheng Ji made sense after thinking about it. This kind of thing is not big, but it is not small.So she nodded and agreed with Yu Ying's opinion. Fortunately, the school is not far from City X, so he transferred Xie for a day, drove Li Momei with him, and the two went to school along the way. There are no major changes in the school, but a few new buildings have been built and a few ball racks have been replaced.This kind of grand ceremony is nothing more than inviting a few well-behaved people to give a speech in the auditorium.Cheng Ji also had a speech task. He prepared the manuscript all night, and when he went up, he could already blurt it out, and his temperament was so good that he could suppress the audience. Li Momei watched from below, thinking that many years ago, Cheng Ji, a top student, also went up to give a speech in this auditorium. She was surrounded by the envious and envious eyes of the girls around her. Everyone knows that he is his servant.However, at that time, she didn't look at the process like this.Cheng Ji is not handsome, but what is rare is that he has a steady, calm temperament, which is a gift from his career for many years.He can't panic, and he can't be impetuous, his profession won't allow it. Therefore, sitting among those successful and famous people, he looked very low-key but attractive.It took ten years for Li Momei to look at Cheng Ji so seriously.She was the one who didn't want Cheng Ji back then. Although Cheng Ji was very good, there were more and better men waiting for her to love.Her youth is so rich, she is never willing to put it on a man, no matter how good a man is, she will not cherish it, just like a gluttonous child, no kind of food can attract her attention Concentrating on one point, she always tastes things. Li Momei felt a burst of sadness, that kind of sadness overcame everything, she was gone, she didn't have this beautiful man in front of her.At that time, he was young and she was self-righteous, so she didn't want to wait for him to mature.Now that he has finally matured, it is no longer his own, but Yu Ying's, that inconspicuous woman in the past, who seems to have never had a story but is the most calm woman. Li Momei began to vent her anger on Yu Ying, as if without Yu Ying, Cheng Ji would still be able to wait for her to be sensible on the road of life, waiting for her to know how to cherish. Cheng Jizheng said: "I think every step of hard work will be rewarded, and I also think that everyone should cherish the opportunity to learn, and the effort is the harvest. Thank you." Amidst the applause, the man became farther and farther away from him, becoming more and more blurred. Li Momei finally shed tears in this late autumn auditorium.It is really sad that the woman's mind ten years ago will not be understood until ten years later. "Ten years later, we are friends, and we can still greet each other. It's just that kind of tenderness, and we can no longer find a reason to hug..." Li Momei and Cheng Ji walked on the campus path.The reception had already begun, but the two found an opportunity to slip out.After finally going back to my alma mater, is it just to eat and drink? As they walked, they talked about everything in college.After all, it was the most beautiful period of life. No matter what, people will always forget a lot of reality in that kind of environment. When Li Momei walked to the side of the path, she took Cheng Ji's hand, as if there was no such ten years between them, she was used to holding his hand naturally, and the two walked under the tree where they kissed for the first time . Li Momei felt that something was wrong with her, one foot was deep and the other was shallow, as if she was walking in a dream.Cheng Ji seemed to have returned to that youthful afternoon, he missed that youthful self more, recalling the two people back then together with the current Li Momei. The young man who was not polluted by the world is gone, and the two of them now have their own status quo, Cheng Ji slowly let go of her hand.He said to Li Momei very seriously: "You should also think about your lifelong affairs, it's really hard to find if you drag it on." Li Momei looked at the osmanthus tree.There are a lot of osmanthus trees in the school, and in August, they will be fragrant for ten miles, so sweet that people can't bear it.She didn't answer, but just asked: "Cheng Ji, did you really like me back then?" "Yeah!" Cheng Ji nodded.At that time, he loved this woman crazily, crazily, as if being burned, wishing he could burn himself to ashes and show her a heart. "What about now?" Li Momei looked directly into his eyes. Cheng Ji's heart skipped a beat, the look in her eyes was too familiar.Now, he asked himself if he didn't like it at all, of course not, men would like beautiful women, not to mention they once loved deeply. But how much do you like it?Do you like her so much that you want to have an extramarital affair with her?Cheng Ji didn't think so. He doesn't want to waste energy and life on vain love anymore.He has loved, loved her who was beautiful and youthful at that time, and also loved Yu Ying who was intellectual and sensible.These are not important, what he wants is a real life, a life that he can catch in his hands, not the love that women shout about.He doesn't understand why a woman can give up everything to pursue love without eating or drinking.For example, Jiang Lan abandoned her original life, just for love.He never thought he was going to be caught in the trap of love. Li Momei, she is a poisonous plant, beautiful and enchanting, she is no longer suitable for him.In the past, he loved her because she was beautiful and enchanting.Now he dare not love, also because of the same reason.The reason for a man's love ten years ago and his abandonment ten years later is the same reason. Cheng Ji laughed, and said, "I like it, how could I not like it, which man in our hospital doesn't like you, you are still the beauty of our hospital!" Li Momei tore her face, and it was not so easy to get away with it: "What about you? What do you think?" "Me? Me." Cheng Ji had no way out, "You are still my good friend." Li Momei didn't say anything, she kicked the osmanthus tree, resentfully, as if kicking away some of her own feelings, breaking her own memories, and turned to leave.She walked in a hurry without looking back. Amidst the falling golden osmanthus rain, Cheng Ji stood there dumbfounded. He suddenly felt that his life seemed to be empty. A life without love was practical but still empty. But he is a mature, mature king.To the mistress who turned into a fox, the man in the movie said: "I love you, but I already have Peirong." But he can only say: "I may love you, maybe I love Yu Ying, but I love you more. love yourself." A thousand years later, the man will be more selfish and better able to protect himself than the man who was fascinated by the goblin. The school is still the same, but the story has been refreshed scene by scene. During this period of time, Yu Ying didn't know what it was like, she just felt confused in her head.She really didn't know how she lived in such a daze.The calmness of these days with Wu Borong is even more shocking.I met Wu Borong a few times, and the two of them always joked in a neutral manner. Even if they went to the room, they would only enjoy each other after long kisses again and again, and their movements were gentle but deeply entangled.At the beginning, the two of them tried different ways to find a higher pleasure, but now they feel that the pleasure is not in the body, but in the heart.Shaking unnaturally when holding each other.Yu Ying once said with a wry smile: "No wonder Zhang Xiaoxian said that love is the best aphrodisiac." "That's right! This aphrodisiac is too strong. One day, I'll turn into medicine dregs." The teasing smile on Wu Borong's brows also carried a touch of sadness. The world seems to be under overwhelming pressure, but they turn a blind eye.The relationship between the two is like a huge rose-colored hydrogen balloon floating above their heads, separating them from the whole outside world. Both Wu Borong and Yu Ying felt that the former sexual pleasure could no longer replace the present loneliness.The two knew that this road was a dead end, so the more they walked, the more desolate they were.In the past, I used sex to cover up this desolation, but now I feel that sex doesn't have that much magic power. No matter how intense the happiness is, there will always be a time to stop, and after the stop, there will be endless emptiness.The two hugged each other tightly but couldn't feel that the other belonged to them. The panic, to borrow a line, is: "This is borrowed, and I have to pay it back." Lu Jie withdrew.Wu Borong defeated Lu Jie, and Yu Ying's heart was completely on his side.But after the defeat, there are still many days to live, which makes the two of them very embarrassed.Yu Ying didn't know where the direction was, she was like a small boat drifting with the current, she couldn't find her target at all, just drifting like this, feeling panicked. When Yu Ying was overwhelmed with child care at home, Jiang Lan, who was going to the small hospital on the edge of the city, called and said she was going back to Qingdao.Yu Ying was taken aback, could it be that she didn't take good care of her?Or is she reluctant to let the child go back? The two met outside for dinner in a quiet western restaurant, and Yu Ying wanted to know what happened. When Jiang Lan came, it was almost dark, and the street lamps were lit up row by row.When she came in, she carried a very quiet aura, which made Yu Ying feel that she was at peace. There is a big difference between Jiang Lan and the last time they met.The difference is not in the clothes, Jiang Lan still wears simple and elegant clothes, but this time her complexion is different, there is a firmness in her brows. Jiang Lan sat down, ordered a cup of tea first, and then began to tell Yu Ying about her latest news.Sitting there, Yu Ying became more and more surprised the more she listened, Jiang Lan spoke quietly, she didn't even move her brows, but Yu Ying's hand was firmly holding the cup, as if she was suppressing the turbulent waves in her heart. It turned out that Jiang Lan went to the hospital that Yu Ying introduced, and she knew what she was doing. After all, she had learned medical skills for many years, and she quickly got used to it. The hospital paid more and more attention to her, and her life also improved. normal track.Just when Jiang Lan breathed a sigh of relief for herself, and even prepared to save enough money to take the train home to see her son, the hospital did a group physical examination. It was just a very common physical examination, and the staff of the hospital had to have a physical examination once a year.Although she just arrived, it happened to be in time for the annual physical examination at the hospital. Everyone took time to measure blood pressure, listen to the heartbeat, and do blood tests. That day, Jiang Lan handed in the form, thinking that she just got off work earlier.After walking a few steps, a colleague stopped her: "Jiang Lan, there is one last item, which is a chest X-ray. It's on the third floor. Why don't you go and take a photo! Anyway, it's free up there, so you don't need to line up. You can do it as soon as you go." According to." Jiang Lan took the form back and took a closer look. Sure enough, there was a chest X-ray that she didn't see. She smiled at the colleague and went upstairs with the form. Two chest X-ray doctors were chatting there, saw her come in, and kindly asked her to take off the metal thing on her body and stand on the instrument. After filming for a few minutes, Jiang Lan only heard the doctor's voice through the microphone echoing in the small room: "Turn around, turn left." Jiang Lan didn't know whether it was an intuition or something, and felt strange in her heart. It only took fifteen minutes to wait for the results, but Jiang Lan listened to the two doctors talking inside for half an hour. When the doctor called her in, he had a look of sympathy: "Doctor Jiang, we just caught a shadow in your stomach, I think you'd better go for a gastroscopy." Jiang Lan picked up the large film calmly, and saw her bone shadow on it very clearly.She herself is a medical student, and she didn't need others to explain clearly. She nodded and said thank you, then picked up the bag containing the film and went out. After leaving the door of the department, I walked a few steps before I felt that I was sweating all over and my legs were weak. The corridor seemed to have no end.I was a little dizzy, and it took me a long time to find a chair by the corridor and sit down. She took out her mobile phone and made a call. The person who answered the phone was a strange female voice: "Hello, who is it?" "Hi, may I ask if Liu Chen is at home?" "Excuse me, he is still in school now, may I ask who you are?" "Well, it's okay, I see." She hung up the phone. Jiang Lan's first thought was: No matter what the shadow is, it doesn't matter if it is stomach cancer or not. At this moment, she just wants to talk to her son and hear him call mom. Jiang Lan sat for a while before recovering and went to the physician.The man took out the film, looked at it for a while, and said solemnly: "Dr. Jiang, I will arrange a gastroscopy for you." After Jiang Lan had a gastroscopy, she confirmed that there was a lump in her stomach, which was not too big. She took a piece of it, and it took a week before the result was found whether it was benign or malignant. Jiang Lan went to work as if nothing had happened, arriving early and leaving late every day.Others couldn't stand it and advised her to ask for leave, but she shook her head and said, "It's okay, I'm fine, whatever happens is destiny, I admit it." At this moment, Jiang Lan received a strange call, it was Wang Hao whom she met at dinner last time. If it was according to Jiang Lan's temperament in the past, even if she was killed, she would not go out to eat alone with a strange man.However, thinking that the results will be obtained the next day, whether it is life or death is uncertain, and I don't know why Jiang Lan wants to find a stranger to talk to. That night, Wang Hao and Jiang Lan talked all night.When having dinner at the restaurant, Jiang Lan began to talk about the possibility that she might suffer from cancer, and then traced back every step of her journey in the past 30 years.She talked about how she grew up in a poor family, her father died of nasopharyngeal cancer, and her mother finally dragged herself and a younger sister.She studied medicine because her father's illness brought stimulation, and she wanted to help those patients more.Although she knows that the power of medicine is limited, she also thinks that every point that can help is a point.Unexpectedly, in the year of graduation, her mother fell ill and her younger sister was about to enter college. She had no choice but to marry the richest and most powerful man who pursued her at that time.The mother's illness was cured, and the younger sister was enrolled in school. Her sacrifice paid off. Jiang Lan didn't drink a glass of wine this time, she wanted to look back on her life in front of this man very soberly.She just sat opposite Wang Hao, talking about everything about herself.In fact, if there is no such man, she can continue talking with a mirror in front of her.In the process of narrating this time, Jiang Lan found that if she wanted to end up with this disease in her life, she would be a complete tragedy. Wang Hao was listening hard.What was displayed in front of him was a woman's truest, purest, most precious and most private inner world.If Jiang Lan hadn't faced such a compelling threat of death, she might never face her heart in her whole life.The reason she was so brave and true to herself was that her time might be numbered.At this time, who do you want to fight, entangle with, and hate?If she died, she would be clean as a handful of ashes in a jar.She can no longer control and love the people around her. Wang Hao couldn't help but be moved.At first, he was only inexplicably interested in this woman, and wanted to continue to associate with her.Finally got Jiang Lan's phone number from Li Momei, but he didn't expect that this woman might not be in this world soon. Jiang Lan talked about her childhood, about her hard work in school, about her misfortune after marriage, about her short-lived happiness after meeting that man, and then endless sadness.She has never been loved, and has been living so hard.The ex-husband didn't love him, but the lover loved her but couldn't protect her. She lost her family, her children, and now she might lose her life. It was almost dawn.In the all-night McDonald's, Jiang Lan put an end to the night.She said: "I may be dying, but I found that the person I owe the most in my life is myself. I don't know how to love myself. It's ridiculous. I don't know until this time. The person I should love most is myself." She stood up, and the sun behind her was slowly rising from the street, and her figure was bathed in golden light.She opened her hand and said, "Mr. Wang, no matter what, I have to live for myself once, one day, one hour, one minute, one second, yes, even one second is fine." She carried her bag, said "thank you" and was about to leave. After going out for a few steps, Wang Hao chased after him and said, "I'll accompany you to get the result." Jiang Lan said: "No need, really, I have troubled you enough." "No, isn't that a 50% chance? Just pretend I'm gambling like you. If you're vicious, I'll cure you; if you're not vicious, we'll date. I think, We fit together." Wang Hao stood there, if he said that he fell in love with this woman that night, then it must be a lie.但是，在这一夜里，他至少看到了一个真实的女人，一个没有任何物质偏见的不虚伪的女人。这样的女人难能可贵，他一定要珍惜。 蒋蓝扭过头来，有风吹着她的眼睛。她点了点头，说：“好吧！我也要学会为自己赌一次。” 这个时候的蒋蓝站在步行街的中央，有一种夺目的气质。她已经不再是感情的奴隶，她把握着自己余下的生命，这个时候拒绝王豪是绝对不明智的。 蒋蓝笑了，她想：“哪怕明天要我去死，可是，今天我还没有死，我就得为自己争取一切可以活下去的机会。” 余莹听到这里，感觉自己浑身都发凉，急得心里怦怦乱跳。她忙问蒋蓝：“结果，那个检查结果到底是什么？这么大的事情怎么不和我说？” “我也是想等结果出来了再告诉你，我就知道你会急。如果着急不能改变现状的话，为什么要让你着急？”蒋蓝平静地说。 余莹落泪：“对不起，蒋蓝，在你最痛苦的时候，我什么也帮不了你。” “人生的路，绝大多数都得自己走。别说你不知道，就算是你知道，其实又能帮我什么？有一些时候，人总得一个人去面对问题，害怕也没用啊！” “可是，可是，”余莹有一点泣不成声，“我至少可以在你的身边，和你一起度过。” 蒋蓝伸过手去拍了拍她的肩，说道：“你以为我们还是那个在校园里，一不顺心就抱在一起哭的青春少女啊？”她笑了，“我们都已经长大了，我们得独自面对自己的生活，不能时时都想着去别人身上找感情的安慰，不然就会被拖入无穷无尽的痛苦深渊。” 蒋蓝喝了一口咖啡，对着余莹继续说道：“你啊你，我一直都知道，你是外表精明坚强，内心特别的软弱，依赖心极重。记得你在学校那会儿当上了宣传部部长，和别系的一个同学吵架，大家都说你特别凶，还给你取了一个绰号叫'铁心师太'，你躲在我被子里哭了半晚上，委屈得不行了，用掉了我半卷卫生纸。” 余莹隐隐有一点害怕，忙问：“结果到底是什么？” 蒋蓝把包里的一个诊断书递过去：“自己看，你又不是医盲。” 余莹忙打开，看完后长长地吁了一口气，脸上还带着泪珠就把那诊断书给拍过去，打在蒋蓝的手上：“差点吓死我了，幸好是良性的。要不要开刀取出来？” “还是医生呢，这么小有什么关系嘛，只要定期检查就好了。”蒋蓝把诊断书拿回去了。 “那你还要回青岛？” “我和王豪一起回去。王豪来这里只是考查一下这边的房地产市场，他的公司总部在青岛。我想和他一起回去后，看看能不能学点什么，最好也能像你这样开个诊所。”蒋蓝淡淡地说。可见王豪和她的关系已经明朗，而且也很稳定。 “那个，你不担心什么吗？”余莹指的是她的前夫和她的情人。 “我都是死过一次的人了，现在把这些都看透了，也看淡了。我现在就想好好做点事业，挣点钱。我问过律师了，孩子的抚养权我还是可以争过来的，孩子他爸在外面长期有情妇，这就是一个有利的起诉点。如果我的经济能力完全可供我和孩子生活的话，那么一切都好办。”蒋蓝说起这些的时候有坚定的目光。她为自己而活的路，才刚刚开始，前面还有很多的路障，但她什么也不怕，因为她不会再迷失自己，不会再软弱无依，她拥有了她自己。 蒋蓝与余莹的诉别，让余莹的心灵受到很强的冲击。尤其是蒋蓝临走前的问话：“余莹，你有没有仔细想过，你爱不爱自己？” 余莹回家后躺在床上，抱着已经熟睡的宝宝，心里的声音越来越大，越来越大。 “我到底爱不爱自己？”