Chapter 23 Chapter 23 Parting

When I got to the hospital, Malatang was in the emergency room. Sudden suffocation due to kidney failure affecting other organs. Aunt Wang cried and fell into Uncle Xu's arms, begging the doctor to allow her to donate one of her kidneys.Song Yi stared at the door of the emergency room, his face pale, like a dying person. Finally, the doctor came out, and he said to Uncle Xu: "The patient's condition is temporarily stable, but the kidney is failing too fast. If the transplant operation is not performed immediately, the next time..." His words were terminated by Aunt Wang's sudden fainting, and the doctors and nurses who had just walked out of the emergency room entered the emergency room again, busy rescuing Aunt Wang.

Wife and daughter entered the emergency room one after another. Uncle Xu finally couldn't hold on anymore and his body was shaking. I immediately helped him sit on the chair, and he asked me, "Have you finished watching?" "I've finished reading it. I want to be alone with Malatang for a while. I'll return the diary to you later." Uncle Xu nodded weakly. I walked into the ward, locked the door, and sat in front of the Mala Tang bed. Without opening her eyes, she asked weakly, "Manman?" I said yes!" She said: "I'm sorry! I tried my best, but the cells in my body won't listen to me."

"You didn't try your best! You just didn't take the initiative to look for death, but you didn't take the initiative to look for life. You must have felt in your heart that you couldn't escape Xu Qiu's shadow no matter what, so you gave up at all. You grew up Inferiority, cowardice, and avoidance. You obviously don’t want to paint because you think you’re ugly, but you don’t admit it. You say you don’t like painting anymore. You obviously don’t want to paint because you can’t dance well. You gave up, but you said that because you don’t like the teacher, you have to have an excuse every time you give up, and you never admit that the reason is only yourself.”

Mala Tang yelled: "No, it's because of Xu Qiu!" "That's right! Xu Qiu has become your excuse for all your failures again. It can be said that you can't draw because of Xu Qiu. You can't dance because of Xu Qiu. You can't get into college because of Xu Qiu. Xu Qiu is responsible for your unhappiness, and Xu Qiu is responsible for Song Yi not loving you. How did Xu Qiu harm you? Did she take the brush away from your hand? She asked your dance teacher not Did she teach you? Did she personally ask you not to listen in class? In the final analysis, she is only an external cause, and you are the internal cause! All choices are made by yourself. External factors affect internal factors, but you can never make decisions for internal factors. Now you are tired You are disappointed, you are tired, and you plan to give up again, and the reason is Xu Qiu again!"

Malatang cried and said: "I don't want to hear you talk, you go out!" I ignored her, opened the diary, and began to read aloud, starting from Xu Qiu's participation in the wedding of his father and that woman. The woman's belly was slightly protruding, and my aunt said that because there was a person living in her belly, and that because of this person, Dad had to marry that woman. I don't understand... Malatang's crying gradually became quieter, Xu Qiu The diary brought her back to her childhood, and looked at herself and Xu Qiu from another angle. When she heard Xu Qiu push her down and run away, she was crying on the ground, but Xu Qiu was facing the wind, weeping silently, and she frowned in disbelief.

When she heard Xu Qiu's unhappiness and anxiety after teasing her in front of the whole school, she was puzzled and murmured to herself: "I thought she was very proud, she was very happy! Since she is not happy, why did she tease me?" ?” When she heard that every time she gave up, she said it on her own initiative, she remained silent. Page after page of the diary, Xu Qiu went abroad gradually. I said: "Xu Qiu's diary after that has little to do with you, but I want to read it to you, not because of Song Yi, but because of Xu Qiu." Malatang was silent, and I began to read to her.In order to facilitate her understanding, I replaced the ambiguous "he" in the diary with Song Yi and K.

"...Dancing in the air, my tears flowed down my cheeks. I knew that I was about to lose Song Yi, my light. From then on, I will dance with the darkness forever." Outside the room, it was completely dark.Many people have knocked on the door, and I have not responded to all of them. Malatang lay silently, I looked down at Xu Qiu's diary and said: "Xu Qiu lived a very sober life, although she understated it, but we can all imagine that K did a lot of things to her, not only opened the gate of hell for her, he She still held her hand, pushed and pulled, coaxed and tricked her, and led her in, but from the beginning to the end, she didn't feel that K was responsible for everything, because she knew that K was only an external cause, and she herself was the internal cause of all her actions. Of course , she is an adult, she can be responsible for herself, but sometimes she can't explain everything when she is young, just like some children have a good family background and their parents carefully create learning conditions for him, but he doesn't study hard. Mahjong, but she can do her homework first in the sound of mahjong. Xu Qiu's existence forces you to mature prematurely. In many cases, you have other choices, but the choice you make is to give up! We have all learned from Edison In the small bench story, Edison, facing the ridicule of the whole class, can frankly say that what I am doing now is better than the last one, why can't you say to Xu Qiu: "It is true that I am not doing well now, but I will do better next time." It's good now.' Perhaps, I say this, too harsh! But, I want you to understand that Xu Qiu is always the external cause, and you are the internal cause, and you chose to give up everything!"

Malatang suddenly said: "You said she drew a sketch for me, I want to see it." I turned the desk lamp to the brightest and put the painting in front of her eyes, and she watched it intently.The little girl in the painting is wearing a small floral skirt, holding a crayon, and drawing.On the drawing board is a character who is drawing, but the little girl's technique is still very rough, so the face of the character is very cartoon. When Xu Qiu drew this sketch back then, she must have been unusually careful. The little florals on the skirt and the person the little girl was drawing on the drawing board were all sketched out in one stroke, and she even deliberately imitated the little girl's brushwork to draw in the drawing board. characters.

Malatang said in a low voice: "I was painting her, I thought she didn't know, but she did." "She has an extremely lonely soul. She longs for warmth, but hurts everyone who brings her warmth." Someone was knocking on the door of the ward again, I ignored it, and said to Malatang: "This diary was given to me by your father. He already knew everything you experienced after Xu Qiu died. You have noticed his diary for so many years. Has it changed? Have you noticed his concern for you? You haven't!" Malatang looked at me blankly. I squatted beside her, held her hand, and said very forcefully: "Your mother also entered the emergency room because of you. I can't imagine what would happen to her if you... you died. Maybe it's better to put her If the kidney is transplanted to you, she will die right away. Your father, he looks very strong because he believes in you. Done, I think he...he's going to collapse, and it hurts harder when a strong man collapses."

There were tears in Malatang's eyes, and I said, "I can't comment on the grievances between Xu Qiu and you, nor can I ask you to forgive her. But, do you know? When she was awake before she died, she took the initiative Say 'give my kidney to the little girl' to your dad, I don't think she's out of atonement or regretting what she's done. She doesn't care about that, she's just simple, but has to admit you're her sister , she is your sister." Malatang's tears rolled down and dripped on the painting, and my tears also rolled down and dripped on her hands.

"Ma La Tang, if you die, I will never forgive Song Yi! But in this world, the person I don't want to hate is him. If you really regard me as a sister, please don't make me suffer!" I stood up and walked out. Outside the door, Uncle Xu stared at me, his eyes full of anxious hope.I returned the diary to him: "I have tried my best, and the final choice is for her to make by herself." Uncle Xu wanted to say something, but I didn't have the energy to listen.I quickly ran out of the hospital, stopped a taxi, and told the driver to go to Fangshan. In an old house, there are always many stories.There are unexpected discoveries in every drawer and every corner, such as small balls played with, broken hairpins, sachets made when I was a child... I turned off the mobile phone, unplugged the landline, and disconnected the Internet. While arranging the unfinished photo album, I tidy up the room and put away the things of my father and mother in different categories. I go to the vegetable market every morning, and the vegetables I buy for ten yuan are enough for me to eat for a day.I bought a cookbook and followed it all day long, trying out all kinds of weird dishes, not afraid of the time and effort.Sitting on the sofa at night, watching TV, and watching idol dramas from the news broadcast, I didn't feel bored at all. During the day, everything is fine and quiet, but at night I often wake up from nightmares. A week later, when I came back from shopping for groceries, I saw a black Wrangler parked downstairs. My legs were a little weak, and I didn't know whether to go up or run away.I sat on the ground and stared at the toes of my shoes, unable to make up my mind. "Su Man, we've been waiting for you up there for two hours, and you're downstairs basking in the sun? Don't tell me, you don't know my car anymore." "I don't know who among us she doesn't want to see? Song Yi, should you disappear on your own initiative?" The sound of Malatang!I jumped up, she was sitting on the wheelchair, smiling at me, Lu Licheng was standing beside her, Song Yi was pushing the wheelchair.The sun was shining on them, and the day was bright. Malatang narrowed his eyes and said, "Take care of the patient, come here, I can't see you clearly." I hurried up to her, she laughed, I laughed too, and after a while, we hugged each other tightly. She said: "Two big crimes, first, you dare to teach me when I was sick; second, you didn't come to see me in the hospital. Tell me! How will you punish me?" "You can be punished in any way." Malatang laughed "cuckoo": "You said it! After you are punished, you will call me every week and report your life." I looked at her in confusion, and Lu Licheng explained: "Her life was saved, but her kidney was damaged and needs treatment and recovery. Aunt Wang plans to accompany her to Switzerland for medical treatment." "If everything is healed, can the eyes be completely restored?" "Maybe, maybe not. But is that important? You can wear contact lenses of different colors every day, seven days a week." Malatang curled up her orchid fingers, acting like a witch who looks at smoke and turns all living beings upside down. I laughed and my Mala Tang really came back.When I looked up, my eyes met Song Yi, and I quickly avoided it. In the airport lobby, everyone was waiting for me and Malatang, she held me back and kept talking, I could only say one thing to her, and I nodded.Finally, she shut up, and I smiled and asked, "Miss, can I get on the plane?" She stared at me, and suddenly said: "The day after you read Xu Qiu's diary to me, I agreed with Song Yi to visit me in the ward." I couldn't laugh, so I stopped laughing. She said: "I told him the story of my father and mother. I told him that I was a petty and selfish woman. I would never make the mistakes my mother made. I would never live with another woman dying. So, no matter whether he likes me or not, I have to break up with him. Song Yi agrees to break up." After Malatang was silent for a while, he said, "Before he walked out of the room, I asked him if he ever liked me a little bit. I didn't expect him to answer, but I didn't expect him to tell me very clearly that he couldn't refuse me because I had eyes similar to Xu Qiu's. He didn’t do it, he was using a good way to make up for what he owed Xu Qiu.” Malatang smiled, “He didn’t even care about me being sick, so he gave such a cruel answer, I hated him a little at that time , let him get out. But later, I figured it out, this answer is the best answer for me, because I can forget about him without any worries. " Malatang lightly held my shoulder: "I fell in love with him because of my gratitude and helplessness. It was not him who I fell in love with, but someone who would hold my hand and treat me tenderly no matter who I was. The person who took me out of the darkness. He was kind to me, but I tortured him. At that time, I even felt that it was his fault, and I was faintly disappointed in him. Only now do I know that I don’t understand him at all, and I haven’t really cherished him. .” I asked, "Did you tell him about Xu Qiu?" Malatang shook his head, and handed me a stack of photocopied documents, which turned out to be Xu Qiu's diary after he arrived in New York. "No! I think the decision is in your hands. In fact, he is not a good lover. He is your only one, but you will not be his only one. However, love is inherently unfair, who told you that it is impossible Forget him? Will you show him?" I asked Malatang back: "He firmly believes that Xu Qiu loves him, believes in Xu Qiu's beauty, and also believes that he has failed Xu Qiu because he was young and aggressive and did not know how to tolerate the other party's shortcomings. If I tell him that everything you believe in is false , is equivalent to breaking all the good things he believed in, is this right? If, I mean, if one day I die, although you will feel pain when you think of me, you will also feel sorry for having such a good friend Feeling happy. But suddenly a person pops up and tells you: "Ma La Tang, Su Man is not what you think, she is actually very bad, not only does she not regard you as a sister in her heart, she has even betrayed you .' What would you think? Would you appreciate this man who told you the truth?" After thinking for a while, Malatang shook his head: "I won't, maybe I will hate him for being troublesome." There was compassion in Malatang's eyes, "Manman, you really love him so much, don't you?" I said lightly: "Whether he loves me or not has no conflict with whether he loves Xu Qiu or not. One of us is the past and the other is the present. Even if I break Xu Qiu's position in his heart, it doesn't mean that he can love me .If he loves me, he will take the initiative to move forward, but he has no intention of forgetting the past at all, so..." I returned the copy of the diary to Malatang. Malatang put them away: "If my father didn't want to save me, he would never admit to others that Xu Qiu is a child with mental illness. Parents are partial, in his eyes, no matter what his daughter does There is an excuse. Even if Song Yi did nothing, he cannot be forgiven, otherwise he would not know what happened to Xu Qiu in New York, but still hate Song Yi. I suspect that the only reason he kept Xu Qiu's diary is because of me, now I have already read that Xu Qiu's diary has probably been destroyed, so I will keep it for you, I only hope that Song Yi is worthy of your love for him." Aunt Wang called: "Xiao Lian, Man Man, we must board the plane." Uncle Xu said with a smile: "These two children! Now that communication is so advanced, when will there be no chance to chat? You have to rush to finish the conversation at the airport." I stood up, pushed Mala Tang towards Aunt Wang.Aunt Wang took Malatang from me and pushed her towards the boarding gate. Malatang turned around and waved goodbye to Lu Licheng and Song Yi, then blew a kiss to Uncle Xu, and said loudly, "Daddy, goodbye! Mommy and I will miss you." "This girl is so old, she's still crazy!" Uncle Xu seemed to scold, but in fact he was satisfied. When they were no longer visible, Uncle Xu looked at me and said flatly, "Xiaoqiu has been in a coma since the car accident and died, without saying a word." I smiled and said, "I was in a coma for three days and three nights. Only Uncle Xu knows if I woke up for a short time." Uncle Xu sighed softly: "I think Xiaoqiu is willing." I nodded: "Of course! She is Malatang's older sister after all." The dead is gone, as long as it can make the living feel at ease, what does it matter what kind of thinking? Uncle Xu shook hands with me and said goodbye: "Thank you! Xiao Lian told me that after your father passed away, you have been out of work. If you want to find a job and need help, you can call me at any time." Although I didn't intend to look for a job, I didn't refuse and accepted his kindness with a smile.I will not deliberately flatter and flatter, but if it can help me, I will not refuse it arrogantly. Who told me to beg for a bowl of food in the world of mortals? Lu Licheng, Song Yi, and I walked out of the airport side by side. Lu Licheng proposed to have dinner together.Neither Song Yi nor I objected. On College Road, I found a small restaurant. The decoration is not exquisite, but it is still clean. I said, "I'll treat you to this meal. Thank you two old bosses for taking care of me. It's also a farewell drink." Lu Licheng was a little surprised and said: "The news spread so quickly? Song Yi just handed in his resignation letter, has it already spread outside?" I was stunned and looked at Song Yi. Song Yi explained: "I just submitted my resignation letter to Mike and plan to accept CS's invitation in London." "Oh! That's great! I heard that the scenery of the English Channel is very beautiful." I smiled and lowered my head, and said lightly, "I didn't know Song Yi was leaving. My farewell wine was originally meant for myself." Song Yi looked at me silently, and Lu Licheng asked, "What do you mean?" "When my father just passed away, I applied through a classmate to teach in remote mountainous areas. It has been approved and I will leave in a few days." "How long? Where?" "Maybe one year, maybe two years, depending on my mood!" "Where?" Lu Licheng asked again. I couldn't avoid it, so I could only answer: "I don't want to tell anyone." Silence pervades us like it's about to suffocate. Lu Licheng lit a cigarette, took a few puffs, and said with a smile, "You don't plan to contact us anymore?" I said politely: "The mountainous area is remote, and the communication will be relatively backward." Song Yi didn't say a word, just filled himself with wine and drank it down. I filled the cups for myself and Lu Licheng, and raised the cups: "Thank you two old bosses for taking care of me in the past." The three of them clinked glasses and made a loud crash. The table next to me didn't know which school's old classmates were gathering, and when the wine was hot, they sang in unison: Thinking of the tense scene that year, I actually have a little nostalgia.They both smiled and shook their heads when they heard the singing. I poured a glass of wine and respected Lu Licheng: "Congratulations, your wish has finally come true." Lu Licheng smiled, but that smile didn't seem to show joy. He took the cigarette in one hand and the wine glass in the other, leaned his neck back, and drank it directly. I poured another glass of wine and respected Song Yi: "Bon voyage." Song Yi didn't look at me, lowered his head, and drank in one gulp. Lu Licheng and Song Yi seemed to be in a competition who would get drunk first, one drank faster than the other, and the two quickly tore off their masks, revealing their true nature, Lu Licheng patted Song Yi on the shoulder and said: "I wish I could kick you out of here quickly." MG, but now I am very reluctant to let you go." Song Yi immediately said sincerely: "Actually, I don't want to leave either, or you can tell Mike for me to return the resignation letter." Lu Licheng froze in surprise, Song Yi and I both laughed, Lu Licheng realized that Song Yi was teasing him, and slapped him hard on the shoulder: "I'm really not used to you making jokes, scare me, if you really stay , I’m afraid I have to figure out how to kick you away again.” Song Yi shook his head and smiled: "To be honest, you are the most difficult opponent I have ever met." Lu Licheng was overjoyed, and clinked glasses with Song Yi: "Really? I took it as a compliment, but unfortunately, you are not in shape, and this game is not enjoyable after all! When you recover in the future, we will have another real match." The two looked at each other and smiled, and Lu Licheng asked, "I want to ask you something, how sure are you of your last three-pointer during our basketball game?" Song Yi drank and laughed, but Lu Licheng refused to give up, and continued to ask questions while drinking. I watched them quietly, with a boundless sadness in my heart. The past is still vivid, but we have to wave goodbye to each other. I once hoped that this is the way home, but in the end, life tells us that we are all just passing by each other, and the journey is still going on. We can only say "Treasure" and see you later, and each continue on our own journey. As time goes by, maybe we will forget each other, maybe we will remember each other, but the day of drinking and talking like this tonight will never happen again. I told Lu Licheng and Song Yi that I would leave Beijing next week, but actually I planned to leave this week. Ever since I fell in love with Song Yi, I can only stand aside, helplessly watching his departure and return, I will always be in the position of being chosen.This time, I chose to take the initiative to leave him. After packing up my clothes, I took my laptop with me, and on the day I left Beijing by train, I threw two handwritten letters into the mailbox. The words on the letter paper were blurred because of tears.I wanted to write it again, but suddenly I felt that I was in such a mess that he hadn't seen it before?He can understand my pain right now. I knew that his career would go well, Song Yi had already left voluntarily, and Malatang told me that her father had decided to hand over the listing of ×× to MG, and Lu Li made great contributions to MG's acquisition of this super big client.It is impossible for the old men at MG headquarters to turn a blind eye to his customer relationship network in the Chinese market, so that position must belong to Lu Licheng.