Chapter 74 chapter 2

When I got home, I sat down at the table and turned on the lamp. There were biscuits on the left and coffee on the right. I took out the diary and wanted to open it, but I was timid again. I walked to the bed, overlooking this bustling and blurred city. In this diary, I will not only see Malatang, but also Song Xiang—from seventeen to twenty-seven years old, he was missing in my life for seven years. When I saw the suppressed pain in his eyes, when I saw his gentle but warm smile, and when I saw his polite but alienated behavior, I wondered countless times what happened in those seven years?I want to know the secret buried by time, but when the answer is in front of my eyes, I am afraid.

After a long time, I turned and went to the living room and poured myself a glass of wine, maybe I would use it. Locking the door, sitting at the desk, I opened the first page of the diary. All are one-inch, two-inch black and white photos of a woman.The facial features of the woman in the photo are not outstanding, what is valuable is in her temperament and imposing attitude, which is quite like a woman who does not give way to a man.The paper under the photos is brownish-yellow, and some photos are wrinkled as if they had been wet by water. Before my eyes, I saw a girl hiding in her room, looking at the photo, weeping silently, and the tears fell on the photo.

Missing and loving mother!How are you willing to leave your little one?No matter how rich a father's love is, it can never make up for the missing mother's love, and soon my father will no longer belong to me alone, he will marry another woman, he will have children with another woman, and he will love them. I turned to the next page. Why do I call that woman mother?No, I only have one mom!Has daddy forgotten mommy?They say this woman is prettier than her mother, impossible!Mom is the most beautiful.Mom, even if the whole world forgets you, I will never forget you! When I came home from school, I found that the chair that my mother was sitting on was gone. The woman said that the chair was too old, and there happened to be a junk collector who came to collect old furniture, so she sold it.Dad heard it and didn't respond.I hate them!That chair was bought by my mother, and it was used by my mother. Did my father forget it?

Dad bought two pieces of clothes of the same style, the big one for me and the small one for the little girl.The little girl was very happy. After she was dressed, she came over and asked me to pass it on.She calls me "sister", am I her sister?no!I warned her not to call me "sister", but she couldn't understand, and said like a fool, "but you are my sister".I ignored her, and when she left, I spilled the ink on purpose and ruined my skirt, my mother only has me as a daughter!The little girl actually told her father to give me her skirt.Fool!White!A woman as uneducated as her mother!Can't you see that I'm older than she is?

The little girl couldn't walk steadily when going up the stairs. I called her stupid, but she still smiled at me. What a poor stupid guy!At my age, I can already recite at least three hundred Tang poems. Last night, when I was going to the bathroom, I passed Dad's room and heard noises in it, and I suddenly wanted to hear what they were doing.I stuck to the door and heard the woman laughing and panting, what are they doing?Certainly not a good thing!What a bad woman!When I went back, I secretly poured glue on the little girl's hair. In the morning, her hair was all stuck, and she cried in pain.

I saw that woman hugging Dad, I was so sad, I wanted to cry but couldn't.I ran downstairs, the little girl was drawing on the ground, and saw that I was called "sister", I walked over, pushed her to the ground, and warned her to call me "sister" again, and beat her to death.She cried, and I ran away quickly, crying while running. That woman saw my teacher and claimed to be my mother. I wanted to say she wasn't, but I couldn't tell, so I had to stand beside her obediently.I am afraid that others will say that I have no tutor, and my father said that my mother is the most temperamental and elegant woman in the world. How can I be said that I have no tutor?

The little girl learned to count, she came to ask me questions, I smiled and told her: "You are stupid, do you know that? These things are so simple that anyone can do them." She pouted as if she was about to cry. He showed her his award-winning painting, and pointed to her painting and told her: "It's ugly, don't hang it next to me, I feel very ashamed." She tore off her painting with tears and took the crayon away. Throw it too, tell the woman she doesn't like drawing. I like to call little girls "sister" in front of everyone, and they always like to say to their children: "Look at Xu Qiu, he looks more like a sister." But the little girl doesn't call me "sister" anymore.Am I happy?I am not happy!Why?have no idea.I should be happy, yes, I want to be happy!

Dad went out to eat with that woman, and there was only me and the little girl at home. The little girl was watching TV after dinner. She used to like drawing and dancing, but she gave up. Now she has become a person who does nothing. People, only know how to watch TV on the Internet.I was drawing in my room, and I didn't know why I drew this picture, but it turned out to be a little girl. There is a sketch in the diary. A little girl is drawing with her head down. The corner of the painting is Xu Qiu's signature. Whether it is a painting or a signature, one can feel the artist's talent.

Since I laughed at the little girl in front of her classmates last time, the little girl started avoiding me.How boring!I decided to change a game. I bought two grass dolls and told the little girl that we were one for each of us. Her eyes were bright and she was very happy. She timidly asked me: "Really?" I said kindly: "Really, we will water together in the future. Wait for the doll to grow grass and see whose hair grows." She was very happy. I gave half of my candy to the little girl, and the woman and the little girl were very happy.I am also very happy to see them so sad that a little candy can buy their hearts.

I told the little girl that you can call me "sister", she was very happy, and asked me again and again: "Is it really okay?" I said "really", she called me immediately, I agreed, and she and I both laughed. The school poetry recitation competition, I encouraged the little girl to participate, she said she couldn't do it, I said: "Yes, your voice is nice, you can definitely do it." The little girl went to sign up. My plan worked.In the poetry recitation competition, the little girl made a big fool of herself in front of the whole school, and everyone laughed, and I was on the sidelines too.I thought she would cry, but she stared at me knowingly, I couldn't laugh anymore, but I thought it didn't make sense, so I still laughed.She threw away the straw doll, and I also threw away my own straw doll, which was originally a fishing bait, just to lure her into the bait.

... Xu Qiu's diary is very intermittent, and he doesn't keep it every day, sometimes he only writes a little for more than half a year.I can feel that she is not a person who is used to pouring out her thoughts.However, with just these bits and pieces of words, we can roughly see the mental journey of Xu Qiu and Malatang's growth and changes.I saw Xu Qiu taste the sweetness from her own cleverness and gradually develop it; I saw that Malatang became more and more inferior and timid, she wrapped herself in a heavier and heavier shell, and she couldn't wait to wrap herself Make yourself invisible.As their father's official position became bigger and bigger, he actually spent less and less time with them at home. Often, the two sisters lived with an old nanny.For a while, Uncle Xu was stationed in other provinces, probably considering the better educational environment in Beijing, so he kept the two sisters in Beijing. To a certain extent, the two sisters were each other’s only family members, but they did not depend on each other for companionship. hatred. I read page by page, and I feel disgusted and pitiful towards Xu Qiu. Behind her seemingly brilliant and colorful appearance is a lonely, lonely, and distorted soul.She is always paying attention to the shadow beside her - Malatang.Her game is to approach, hurt, stay away, and get closer again. I even began to wonder whether she hurt her because she hated Malatang, or deliberately hurt her to attract Malatang's attention. The time of the diary is getting closer to Xu Qiu's going abroad, and my heart is getting heavier and heavier.At this time, Malatang and Xu Qiu had vowed to be at odds with each other, but Xu Qiu no longer bothered to use her scheming on Malatang. What she showed in her diary was more contempt for Malatang, and proudly announced: The reason why one person is excellent and the other is mediocre is because her mother is an excellent woman, while Malatang's mother is an uneducated and uneducated woman. After going abroad, Xu Qiu was omnipresent with her intelligence and talent. She enjoyed being chased by men around her, but she ridiculed and scorned them in her diary. She met Song Xiang at a party of the Chinese Student Union.In fact, she never mentioned Song Xiang's name, but I am sure that this "he" is Song Xiang. I have never seen a person who can smile so brightly and cleanly, but is there still sunshine behind the sunshine?Everyone has a dark side, what is his dark side? It's funny, I gave him the phone, but he didn't call me, life happens to be too poor, and I like to use my brain. My friend was having a party on the beach and I heard he would be there too, so I went too.I wore a beautiful dress and brought my violin.After the barbecue, everyone lit candles and sat around on the beach to chat.A friend asked me to play a piece of music, and I readily agreed, deliberately standing a little far away from them, and giving him a silhouette of the sea.I chose "Blessings of Love", because the sea under the sky full of stars makes people lonely, and I heard that he can write ancient poems, so I believe he will understand.After the song was over, even the foreigners in the distance were applauding. I hurried back, just wanting to see his eyes clearly.But there was appreciation in his eyes, but nothing unusual. He played my violin and showed him my sketches. Although it was not enough to give him a ballet, he cleverly invited me to dance.Such a passionate Latin dance, I fluttered in his arms like a butterfly, but he was still not tempted!It's really shocking. From childhood to adulthood, for boys, sometimes a sketch of their meditation, with my signature next to it, is enough to make them give up.What is he after? I was planning to take in a stray dog, so I called him and told him my car had broken down, but I had made an appointment with a charity to pick up the stray dog, and asked him if he would give me a ride, and he agreed.I picked up the ugliest dog from the Internet. I guess no one else would want it. He was surprised when he saw the dog and said I was special.I am very special. He came to deliver dog food a few times, and I cleverly asked him to invite me and the dog to go for a walk.In fact, boys are not difficult to control, as long as you have enough smiles and gentleness, they will easily carry out your hints, but they think they are taking the initiative. I showed him my donation to the Hope Project, and I showed him the letters written to me by children.He and I jointly funded the education of two children in Guizhou.He often comes over to deliver dog food to the dogs.I often watch him play basketball and draw sketches by the side of the basketball court.really weird!I no longer draw sketches for others to see, I just want to draw him.I don't even pay attention to the form of expression and whether it is beautiful or not, I just try to grasp the feeling of the moment, but he can't put it down for these sketches, his eyes are not only in his heart. Take the dog out to play, I use the violin scholar to play the violin, and sing with the dog. I am not elegant or beautiful, but he looks at me and laughs. On Valentine's Day, he called me and asked me out.I asked, "Do you know what day it is?" He said yes.I agreed.I'm genuinely happy, never thought I'd be happy when a boy asked me out, it scares me, but it's so sweet. happy?Is this feeling happy?I feel like I am not myself.I am used to hiding myself in the dark, spying on and analyzing others, but he led me to run in the sun.The California sun is too bright, and he is brighter than the California sun. I stopped, put down the coffee in my hand, replaced it with wine, and took a few sips before continuing. Saying goodbye to him, I had already walked to the ticket gate, and he suddenly pulled me back and kissed me.I'm not used to exposing my heart to others, so I only let him touch my lips lightly, and then pushed him away.He is like a sun, who can express himself unscrupulously. I am attracted by his flying and bright, but I am not used to his straightforwardness and flying.I also fly, but my flying can be created, it is just a landscape for outsiders to see.His flying is indeed natural, and it is his truest heart.He doesn't understand our differences, but I do. New York is probably the real international city. On the island of Manhattan, there are a group of the richest people in the world and a group of the poorest people in the world. A street belongs to homeless people from different countries.Is there another city in the world with such a strong contrast between light and dark?I love New York, I think it's more like me. He fell in front of me with his clothes disheveled in a coma, and the broken vase splashed my skirt wet.He picked up the flowers on the ground and handed them to me, and said with a smile: "Miss, if I fall down, it's only because of your excessive beauty." Everyone was laughing and screaming, only me and his eyes were cold.In one moment, he was having sex with a woman on the stairs; in the next moment, he invited me to dance with him, saying that I had the same colored eyes as him.