Chapter 49 Chapter Forty-Eight

November 4th. It's already very cold.She was wearing her favorite gray long sweater over a khaki short coat, like an animal that only survived the winter.While standing at the station waiting for the bus, she met an elementary school classmate who was in the next class and said hello, but she still couldn't remember the other party's name. The classmate said, what car are you waiting for? She said, 114 Road. The classmate was about to say something, but his eyes turned to stare at her back.She took advantage of the situation and turned her head, only to hear the whispered screams of her classmates, God, Sheng Huainan.

In fact, she wanted to quickly turn her head and not look at it, because of the "first encounter" she never forgot psychologically.However, that person was too conspicuous, and it was impossible for her not to see him as soon as she turned around. A figure wearing a white sports coat, a gray-blue scarf and a black NIKE schoolbag on his back, tall and refreshing, with the afterglow of the setting sun faintly smearing his left half of his body, and leaving his right half in the shadows, he looks like, like... her I found that my universal analogy was useless. If there is regret medicine in life, she hopes that the day will be cloudy.Whether he was five or sixteen, Sunshine helped him to confuse people.

Then he turned to look at the stop sign. He grew up, and his delicate eyebrows and eyes became more stretched and refined when he was a child. He was so good-looking, which happened to be exactly the same as her fantasy-is there anything more terrifying than this? "Why did he come to take the bus today? His driver usually picks him up. They seldom come out to play basketball when the weather is cold, and they never have a chance to see it. Damn, I really made money today." She smiled and listened to her classmate, while staring at him for a long time. Three boys and two girls came over, and one of the boys patted him on the shoulder hard.They were joking, and occasionally they would fight together. The two girls didn't talk to Sheng Huainan, they only bickered with other boys, but their eyes were inadvertently fixed on him.

Luo Zhi suddenly remembered his name on that form, standing far away from everyone, proud and lonely. Actually he doesn't look like that.At the very least, he was popular, a good-natured and popular boy who would be thrown into the air after a basketball game, and would be surrounded by many people.However, Luo Zhi looked at it steadily, and the loneliness and alienation that always remained in his eyes did not seem to be her illusion or imagination. The old man who collected the rags passed by on a tricycle. He caught up with him in a few steps, put the fallen stack of newspapers back on the car, and continued to chat among the crowd.As a result, within two steps, the newspaper fell down again.There was almost no one moving around, so he ran up to put the newspaper on it again, because the car was moving, so the newspaper fell down again, and the thin plastic rope couldn't support it, and it almost fell apart immediately.The scene in front of him made Luo Zhi almost laugh. Annoyed Sheng Huainan persevered, picked up a pile of crumbling waste newspapers like a schoolboy, and threw them viciously into the car—the old man felt the shock Looking back, he realized what was going on and said hoarsely, thank you, young man.

His white sports coat was stained with a lot of dust, he was a little embarrassed to hear the old man's thanks, he scratched the back of his head, and smiled, his eyes were crescent-shaped, the same as when he was a child, and the same as Luo Zhi. On the contrary, the smile at this time is much more sincere and happy than when I was with those classmates just now. Luo Zhi didn't know why she was flustered all of a sudden, with her ears burning, she took a step away and hid behind her classmates.No one noticed her strangeness. Why isn't he an arrogant, selfish and disgusting rich young man?Or, why isn't he ugly and sloppy?

Things would be so much easier that way. He took another bus and left first, Luo Zhi continued to casually chat with his classmates, the empty chat covered up the deep loss in his heart. His brilliance and beauty made her see her own insignificance and humbleness from the glass of the car door when she stopped on the 114 road. 11 years of tireless work.Always so ridiculous.She is unilaterally envious, unilaterally jealous, unilaterally challenging, and unilaterally remembering.How humble. The door of the car opened to both sides, just in time to cut Luo Zhi's mirror image in half from the middle.

He took the exam four times in his first year of high school, and every time he dropped the second place in the school year by a long way. And Luo Zhi's best grade in her first year of high school was the third place in the school year, although it is something to be proud of, in a school year where there are more than a thousand masters like clouds.And she just put away the report card, and she no longer felt hopeful and purposeful when studying. Zheng Wenrui once said to her, why should I give up, why should I be willing. Luo Zhi knew at that time that there was no reason, but that she had to.There is no other way to get through life than to accept it.To live a good life, you must beautify this helpless "have to" into your own active and wise choice while accepting it, turn the forced and helpless compromise into the great wisdom of life, and first convince yourself.

He will never know that she wiped out all hatred in the first year of high school, and silently accepted this failure. In the summer of that year, she filled out a volunteer form to study liberal arts. It's like an escape.Singing with track and field athletes, and running with singers, she just chose a way to make herself less sad.She once asked herself why she must be better than him——Luo Zhi was incomprehensible in the eyes of others, she was calm and calm, and didn't care about anything.But she knew in her heart that she didn't care about many things, so the few things she had were extremely important, so important that they became obsessions, otherwise, what else would she have?

Looking back today, she is glad.Fortunately, he was so much stronger than herself, and fortunately he walked in front of her, leaving behind her to chase unwillingly, otherwise, she might lose the beacon after winning a crude victory, losing all expectations and fun. More importantly, she found herself thinking about this man every day.Ever since she had an exact face, her emotions had quietly transformed without her noticing, to the point where she panicked. She fell in love with him.Seeing him nervous, she would giggle afterwards. She was happy when he won a prize in the mathematics league. Their class was struggling in the basketball league. He was repeatedly blocked in breakthroughs, and she was anxious.She is the most ordinary girl who fell in love with someone in the most ordinary way.

It was the first time in her life that she paid attention to the honor, disgrace, joy and sorrow of a "other". She became more silent. High school winter vacation, Valentine's Day.She lit the desk lamp and wrote a long diary.She enjoys the pleasure of torturing herself in a forbearing way, and never indulges her curiosity and fascination, which makes her feel that she maintains a ridiculous arrogance unique to that age, as if her love can be compared to the one at the back table. The girl who babbled on his name seemed more noble and pure. Chat for comfort. Sophomore year was a new beginning, she told herself.

At the opening ceremony, she heard his voice for the first time.Speak as a student representative. Many people hold the manuscript in their hands and read nervously while holding the manuscript in their hands, but he is always so comfortable.Luo Zhi, who was sitting in the last row, couldn't see anything, but when she heard the familiar opening remarks, her eyes suddenly turned red.Everyone listened quietly, then applauded loudly at the appropriate time. If there was ever such a slight doubt that what I liked was just a bubble imagined for so many years, then looking at the generous white figure in the distance and the crowd excited for him, now I am sure of my liking.He deserves her affection. Because of this sure liking, she freed herself from resentment and jealousy. He is innocent, brand-new, and beautiful. He is a gentle boy who will help the labor committee put the littered mineral water bottles into the garbage bags when everyone retreats to the teaching building after the basketball game. On his birthday, he was slapped with a cream cake by his classmates, and he still smiled and didn't get angry, but he would put up his index finger when the bell rang for evening self-study to silence everyone and go back to class.He has nothing to do with Luo Zhi's trivial and venomous past, and is detached from the intertwined grievances and grievances. Although the sunny smile he saw since he was five years old is a little more disguised and melancholy, there is still no crack at all. She used to think that he was an obstacle and demon blocking her growth path, but she never knew that he was also the sunshine that stretched thousands of miles away in her life of more than ten years.