Chapter 34 Section 6

Prince Chambord carefully dialed Poentso's cell phone, wishing she was resting at home or working at work. A weak and gloomy voice came: "Hello?" "Are you okay?" he asked. Poentso's answer surprised Prince Chambord: "It's okay. The police have already come, but I hid. If they didn't find me, they thought that the person who called the police was a lie and a deception. Who is a person who really wants to commit suicide? You can’t stop it, so go ahead and call the police. You’re forcing me to die early. Next time, as soon as the police show up, I’ll jump right away. It’s not a threat, it’s an oath. You should know that in the Tibetan world, only the oath."

"Where are you now?" "I just sat on the edge of the building, with my legs hanging out, and as soon as I lifted my buttocks, I went down." Prince Chambord said: "Listen to me, step back, leave the edge of the building, go to a safe place, point to the sky, and curse a few times in the most vicious language. You can curse anyone, scold me, scold you, scold your parents , scold the world, and go down the stairs, good things are waiting for you below." "What good thing?" "You are still alive, you are still a bright life, and that is the best thing."

"Then I'll come up again, I hate being alive, all the color, all the life. I think I'm at my best right now, on the top floor of a thirty-six-story building, looking down. I've never seen it from such a height People, I feel that the way God sees people is the way I see them now. The ground is full of ants, swarms of ants, busy, I don’t know what they are doing. I used to be one of them, a wriggling ant, trampled to death Your feet will come down at any time, I am always in a state of panic, whenever there is a little wind, I think, it is coming for me, it will blow me away, wipe me from the earth. I live cowardly, restless, listless But now, I don’t think so, I’m going to die, and it’s the act of a brave man to take the initiative to die. Prince Chambord, you’d better hurry up and jump off the thirty-six-story building with me .The suicide of two people is always more tragic than that of one person. When you bang and I bang, the world is gone and everything is destroyed.”

Prince Chambord shouted: "But why do you want to do this? Why? You tell me, I can help you." "Suicide is my destiny, and destiny has no cause." "Anyway, you must wait for me to go back. I want to see you very much, I love you." "Whether I love it or not, I never believe it. It's still the same sentence, I wait for my patience to disappear. Before it disappears, you come and we dance together. After it disappears, you come and collect the body for me." "Patience is a thread between you and me that will never break." "No, it's going to break soon. Look, I wear high heels and they sit on the tips of my toes, and if I pull my toes back, they'll fall off. What do you say I'm going to do? Let them fall off. Go down, or let them hang like this, hang, and finally sink with me from the sky to the earth?"

Prince Chambord said: "You should ask your high heels this question. Seeing what they say, they certainly don't want to fall from such a high place. They take you to walk and bring you beauty. They are also alive. How can you do something that you wouldn't even do in high heels?" "I just want to do things that most people don't want to do. The high heels have fallen off, both of them have fallen off. At first I could still see them, but now I can't. I wanted to hear the sound, but the sound didn't come up. They are me, and my heels and I have fallen into a huge void."

"You commit suicide because you are empty. What the Buddha wants to tell us is to get rid of emptiness and to devote yourself to a life that is both empty and clean. You are a Tibetan. You should always know that you want to destroy Impossible, because death is not destruction, but rebirth, since you still want to regenerate, it is better not to die now." Poentso sneered: "You speak like a preaching lama, but you know that I don't believe in Buddhism. When I was in college, the teacher said that the self is the most powerful. I tried desperately to find myself, but the more I searched, the more confused I became. None, I found out after searching and searching, whether it is self or Buddha, it cannot change our destiny, it cannot make bad people suffer and good people are happy, it cannot cancel the law of birth, old age, sickness and death, and it cannot make all disasters, all darkness, all The sin disappeared. Just like now, if the Buddha you believe in thinks I deserve mercy, he should let me not die when I jump. Ah, I fainted, fainted, as if the world was spinning, as if the universe was upside down."

Prince Chambord shouted: "Ponentso, Poentso." Pernco turned off the phone.Prince Chambord kept dialing and dialing again.