Chapter 14 Chapter Thirteen He Just Disappeared Inexplicably

Two days have passed, and Chen Huaiyuan still hasn't come back, and there is no news about him, and his mobile phone has also been shut down, like dew on the grass blades, evaporating in the sun.Su Xiaosan was still worried about his safety.In this city, he also has no relatives, and it is impossible for those poet friends to help him. Su Xiaosan wants to find him, but he doesn't know where he is.A few days ago, she still suspected that Chen Huaiyuan was the murderer of Xiang Hanlan. After Guiguzi was arrested, Su Xiaosan didn't think so. Su Xiaosan felt that Chen Huaiyuan was quite pitiful.

She sighed: "Poor people must have something to hate!" If he had treated her well, things wouldn't have gotten to where it is today. Su Xiaosan was designing the cover, worried about Chen Huaiyuan, and also thinking about Guiguzi, wondering if he confessed or not, Zhong Feiyang promised her that as soon as Xiang Hanlan's case was solved, he would call her immediately.Su Xiaosan, who was distracted, understood that the quality of these covers must not be high, and she couldn't control so much anymore, just deal with it casually, and the manuscript will be delivered when the time comes!What will happen in the future, she has no idea, is at a loss, and doesn't care about these few cover design drafts, let her fate!

Su Xiaosan's phone rang. When I picked it up, it was an unfamiliar number. Did Chen Huaiyuan call from someone else's mobile phone, in order to tell her news about him? Su Xiaosan answered the phone. "Hi, I'm Su Xiaosan, may I ask who are you?" The other party was silent. "Hello, hello—who are you?" There was still silence on the phone. "Hey, hey—who are you? Talk! If you don't talk, I'll hang up!" There was a burst of chirping laughter from the phone, like the sound of a mouse hiding in a dark cave. "Who are you? Talk to me—"

"I'm the last person you want to see, hey, do you know who I am?" Su Xiaosan was stunned, it was him!That's right, it's him!That damned villain!Su Xiaosan was trembling all over, why would he call himself, could it be that he— "Let me guess your expression now, you must be very surprised and panicked, right? Your body is shaking, right? You must not hang up the phone until I finish speaking." Su Xiaosan was speechless, wondering what disgusting words this bastard was going to say. "Su Xiaosan, let me tell you a fact. I am out and free. The police will not put me in prison, no! You must really want to know the reason, so let me tell you, I am not Not the murderer of Xiang Hanlan, I love her as much as I love you, how can I kill her? I have never been interested in killing people, even though I am daring, I will only kill people in my novels, that is what I like to play Games. You may be worried that I will kill you, please believe that I will use my personality to guarantee that I will not kill you! But I like to play games, and I like to play games with women like you. It doesn’t matter if you are worthy or not, it’s important The most important thing is that I have already started playing with you! After listening to my words, your body trembled even more? At this time, your face must be ugly, as pale as a dead person! Su Xiaosan, I will pay attention to you Yes, I have been following you..."

Guiguzi hung up the phone amidst a burst of "chichi" laughter. There was a dead silence. All Su Xiaosan heard was her rapid breathing. How could this be? impossible!He can't be released, he is the murderer who killed Xiang Hanlan!Did he escape?If he really escaped, then... danger is coming quietly?Maybe Guiguzi is standing at the door of her house now, and can enter her house at any time.Even in such a daytime, Su Xiaosan felt terrible. If Chen Huaiyuan was here, she would not be so frightened. Then, Su Xiaosan thought of Zhong Feiyang. Should give him a call. "Hello, Officer Zhong?"

"It's me, are you Miss Su?" "Yes, I'm Su Xiaosan." "What's matter?" "I want to ask, why did you release Guiguzi?" "Oh, that's right. After our investigation, he was ruled out. He was not the murderer of Xiang Hanlan." "Why not! He called and threatened me just now! I think he is the murderer!" "Ah, how did he threaten you?" "He is very arrogant. He said that he came out, as if you have nothing to do with him, and threatened me that he would not let me go. I have no grievances with him. Why did he treat me like this! This pervert!"

"If he harass you, you can call the police! This person is a bit perverted and not normal, but he is indeed not a murderer. He also provided very valuable clues. We are investigating according to the clues he provided. I believe Xiang Han Lan's case will be resolved soon, don't worry. By the way, through Guiguzi, we also discovered another case. This case is very bizarre. Someone built a newborn baby girl into the wall. It happened in the empty house opposite Xiang Hanlan's house. It was Guiguzi who discovered this secret! He is really a weird person." Su Xiaosan said in surprise: "No wonder there are often crying babies..."

The emergency room of the Sixth People's Hospital was crowded with people. Those people were Yu Tao's family, colleagues and leaders.I didn't dare to face them, and quietly hid in a corner of the corridor, squatting there, holding my head, and weeping silently.Yu Tao was accidentally electrocuted while rushing to repair a high-voltage line.Yu Tao told her that if a person gets an electric shock, it is best to rescue them within 5 minutes, so that there is a 90% chance of being rescued, and there is a 60% chance of being rescued within 10 minutes, and the rescue is only started after 15 minutes. Then the chances of survival are slim to none.After so long, Yu Tao is still in the emergency room, whether he will survive or not is unknown.If Yu Tao is dead, then the culprit is me!My body curled up into a ball, choked with sobs, and tried not to let myself cry out loud.I prayed over and over again in my heart that Xiao Sanniang's spirit in heaven would bless him to return safely.It was unspeakable sadness and fear, and both soul and body were suffering tremendous pain.If Yu Tao dies, I will definitely not live in this world anymore!

A doctor came out of the emergency room. People surrounded him and asked, "How is it, doctor?" The doctor said, "He has been rescued, and his life is fatal! 99.9% of these cases are hopeless. "People were relieved.When I heard the news of Yu Tao's rescue, tears rushed out like a tide, and I murmured: "Tao, you're fine, it's fine, you won't die, you won't!" Despite hearing the news of his rescue , My heart is still very painful, I can feel him calling me, every time I call, my heart will twitch.I wanted to rush into the emergency room, hold his head in my arms, and whisper in his ear: "Tao, I will always love you, whether you live or die!" Suddenly, a terrible voice came from inside me : "You must stay away from him, otherwise he will encounter an accident, and he will definitely die next time!" My body trembled, and I fell rapidly into the dark abyss.Yes, I am an ominous woman, nothing can change my fate, Yu Tao's disaster must be brought to him by me!If I really love him, I must leave him, and I can't hurt him anymore!I quietly left the hospital.

That night, I asked the curator for a long vacation, and I was going to leave Shanghai for a while, so Yu Tao couldn't find me and forgot about me, and wrote him a letter of resignation.Unexpectedly, Gu Xin would come this evening.He carried a net bag of apples and entered my room.I said lightly: "Why are you here?" He smiled: "It's okay, I just came to see you." I put a chair in front of him: "Sit down." He sat down and stared at me intently , said in a trembling voice: "Ah Hong, have you ever cried? Your eyes are swollen like rotten peaches! Why are you crying? Whoever bullied you, tell Dad, Dad will go to him to settle the score!" I said angrily: "Who wants you to care No one is bullying me, and I don’t need you to take care of my affairs, and you will come here less in the future, and I have nothing to do with you.” Gu Xin sighed: “My child, I understand how you feel, I don’t care what you say. It’s too much, even if you beat me and scold me, I have to bear it, who told me to be sorry for you!” I said, “You have nothing to be sorry for me, everyone’s path is chosen by himself, there is no right and wrong. Wrong, I don't hate you, and I don't like you, you go, I'm tired, I want to sleep." Gu Xin had no choice but to get up and leave.When he left, his small deep-set eyes stared blankly at my face for a while, his lips moved, and he wanted to say something but didn't say it.

After he left, I opened the window and saw him standing under the plane tree next to the street downstairs, looking up.I couldn't see his eyes clearly, I felt his figure was lonely and desolate, and my heart was sour and astringent.In fact, how nice it would be to have a father. I am so stubborn and cruelly refuse the father's love that is at my fingertips!I relentlessly closed the window and drew the curtains with a "wow". Early tomorrow morning, I will leave Shanghai, but where should I go? After 15 days, I returned to Shanghai.I didn't feel at ease because of this escape, on the contrary, my heart became more anxious; I thought I could forget Yu Tao under the sky far away from Shanghai, but in the end I missed him even more strongly, and felt that he was calling me every moment, My heart is always twitching, and I understand that it is impossible to forget a loved one unless he dies.Suffering from emotional torment, the heart was broken, and the person became thin, like an eggplant beaten by frost, and sluggish. As soon as I got back to the dormitory, a colleague ran over and said, "Ah Hong, where have you been? Your boyfriend comes to see you every day, standing downstairs every night, looking at your window until dawn. We couldn't stand it anymore, and advised him not to suffer like this until you came back, but he didn't listen to us, saying that he would wait until you came back. Such a spirited man became skinny in a few days. He asked Where did you go, you didn't tell us when you left, we have no way to answer his question, just tell him, you will definitely come back, you haven't moved, everything is still here." I She was so sad that she wanted to cry, and said tremblingly: "Thank you for telling me this." She then said: "Hurry up and find him, he is so kind to you, there are fewer and fewer men who are so infatuated!" nod.From afternoon to dusk, I sat alone in the room, motionless, like a stone, with tears in my eyes, like a tearing stone. The night came up like a tide and drowned me.The colorful night of the city outside the window seems to have nothing to do with me.I didn't turn on the light, and I was silent in the dark. At that time, I was really a cold stone, and my tears had frozen.Yu Tao's figure appeared under the sycamore tree downstairs outside the window. I didn't see it, and I didn't have the energy to look at it. I couldn't move my body.I don't know how long it took, I heard someone talking downstairs outside the window.That was my colleague and Yu Tao talking, because I live on the second floor, their voices can be heard clearly. "Ah, what are you still doing standing here, Ah Hong is back!" "What did you say?" "Ah Hong is back!" "Really? You say it again?" "Really, why did I lie to you, Ah Hong is really back!" "Then why is her room still dark?" "Maybe I'm tired from the train ride, so I'm sleeping! This Ah Hong is real, I've told her about you, and she won't look for you either!" "Thank you, I'll go up and find her!" Yu Tao's voice cut my heart like a knife. After a while, I heard hurried footsteps in the corridor.The footsteps stopped abruptly at the door of my room, and heavy breathing sounded.He stood outside the door for a while, then knocked on the door, and said eagerly: "Ah Hong, open the door—" Open or refuse? I was caught in a dilemma, how much I wanted to open the door and fall into his broad and warm embrace, but the devil in my body kept reminding me that if we continue, his life would be in danger!Don't let the one you love die! "Ahong, open the door, I know you are inside, I feel your breath, I feel the breath of your body. Open the door, Ahong! Do you know how much I miss you, Ahong, every day and night, my mind It's full of your face, my heart is broken, my soul is gone... Open the door, I beg you, don't torture me anymore! Ah Hong, open the door—” I was covered in cold sweat and shivering. His words are softening the stone and turning it into real flesh. At this time, the colleague also said outside: "Ah Hong, you open the door, we can't stand it anymore, he is sincere to you! You have the heart to make him suffer like this? Open the door quickly—" Yu Tao suddenly burst into tears. The man's sad cries finally broke the line of defense in my heart, and I went all out, even if I died!I really can't make the man who loves me sad anymore, that's a great sin!I climbed out of bed, rushed to the door, and opened it.The lights from the corridor poured in, like a ray of dazzling sunshine in the hazy sky.My soul is also illuminated.I think I will be fearless for love from now on!Yu Tao burst into tears, and so did I. We stood there motionless, looking at each other with burning eyes.Seeing this, the colleague wiped his eyes and left quietly. He rushed over first and hugged me tightly in his arms. I murmured: "Tao, I was wrong, I shouldn't have left you! From now on, I will never do this again—" He whispered softly in my ear: "Ah Hong, don't say anything, I understand you! I know you love me, and I know the difficulty in your heart—" That night, we were like glue, lingering for a whole night, as if there were only two of us in this world.I told him exactly where I left Shanghai this time.I went back to Yezhuao village and worshiped at the tombs of Wang Hairong and Li Wenping.That quiet night, I sat in front of Xiao Sanniang's grave for a whole night. That night, I talked a lot with Xiao Sanniang.I also found the grave of my biological mother, Mei Shan. It was a small grave on a mass grave, overgrown with weeds. Perhaps no one had ever swept her grave.This beautiful woman who brought me fresh life is lying quietly in the tomb, her soul is already at peace.My heart was full of sadness, and I silently pulled out the weeds on the grave with my hands, and I didn't feel any pain when my palm was cut and blood oozes out. …After leaving Yezhuao Village, I went to Wuhan, where Zhao Yan lives.Because her parents had left an address and never lost it, they found her smoothly.She smiled at me stupidly, her parents said, she always smiled like that stupidly.Looking at her, I feel very guilty.During the few days I was with her, I tried my best to take care of her. I know that even taking care of her for the rest of my life would not wash away my sins. ... Maybe because of the nourishment of love, I gradually became happier. Although the fear in my heart has not been completely eliminated, when Yu Tao is not around, I still worry about him, afraid of what will happen, as long as I see him, I will feel at ease . That evening, when Yu Tao came to pick me up from get off work, he told me something.He said last night, after leaving, on his way home, he felt someone was following him.He hid in a dark corner, and found a tall man chasing him, looking left and right, looking for Yu Tao.Yu Tao flashed out from the corner, the man was caught off guard and stared at him blankly.Yu Tao walked up to him and said coldly, "Why are you following me?" He said in a low voice, "I didn't follow you." Yu Tao sneered and said, "Don't make excuses, you are clearly following me. It’s been two days, and during this time, you’ve been following me! Who the hell are you? Why did you do this?” He sighed and said, “There’s no point in hiding it, let me tell you the truth, I’m Ah Hong’s Dad. I followed you several times and wanted to talk to you, but I never found the opportunity." Yu Tao said in surprise, "Are you really Ah Hong's father, Gu Xin?" Gu Xin nodded: "That's right. "Yu Tao said: "I'm sorry, uncle, I thought it was gangsters following me. You don't have to do this. If you have anything to say, you can talk to me openly, it doesn't matter." Gu Xin said: "I have a lot to say Tell you, I hope you can help me, I know Ah Hong can ignore anyone, but she will definitely listen to yours." Yu Tao smiled and said: "Uncle, let's find a place to sit down and talk, don't stand How tired I am here!" So they found a coffee shop... Yu Tao said to me: "Your father is very painful, saying that you refuse to recognize him. He kept confessing in front of me, begging me to persuade you to recognize him as your father. It can be seen that he loves you very much. , kept wiping his eyes, because there were tears in his eyes. I think, after so many years, and he has endured so many years of pain, you should give up your hatred for him. Your adoptive mother Xiao Sanniang is right, Hatred is the most poisonous medicine in the world. Ah Hong, listen to me, reconcile with him, fulfill his wish, and it will be good for you, and your heart will be more at ease." I stared at Yu Tao and said softly: "Actually, I don't hate him, but I'm not used to having such a father. You know, I never knew what a father is." Yu Tao said: "Ah Hong, I understand you. Because of this, it is more meaningful for you to reconcile with him. I believe that his father's love will bring you a lot of comfort that you can't imagine. The important thing is that you don't Reject this heavy paternal love. Ah Hong, promise me, accept him!" A warm tide surged through my heart, and I nodded vigorously to him. Yu Tao put his arms around me and said happily: "Ah Hong, I know you will agree, but I didn't expect that it would be so easy. Well, let's go find your father this Sunday." I nodded. I have entrusted everything to him, everything is arranged by him, he is my destiny! Gu Xin was ecstatic when we arrived.He said that he lived for so long just to wait for this day to come.I am not as happy as he is, and I feel uneasy in my heart. I don't know how to get closer to him, because standing in front of him, I feel far away from him, which is the distance of my heart.Gu Xin bought a lot of vegetables and cooked them for us. Originally, I wanted to go into the kitchen to help him, maybe I could get closer to him, but Yu Tao refused to let me do it. He ran into the kitchen to cook for us. Gu Xin started.I stood at the door of the kitchen, saw them busy talking and laughing, and felt the breath of life. This is something I have always wanted but could not get. When this real scene was presented in front of me, I felt so Strange, as if out of tune with me.I couldn't hear what they were saying, and my mind was in a mess.I didn't want to watch them busy and walked outside the door.This is a small bungalow with a small garden.There is a camphor tree in the small garden, and flowers and plants are planted under the camphor tree.I can't imagine what Gu Xin's father does, leaving a small bungalow for him.With many strange questions, I went back to the house. There was the sound of cooking in the kitchen, and there was a strong aroma of vegetables, as well as the aroma of stewed chicken with angelica. This aroma made my heart beat.Amidst the smell of stewed chicken with angelica, I inspected the interior of the house with strange eyes.The first floor is the kitchen, dining room, and a storage room. There are several oil paintings hanging on the wall of the dining room, which are mountain scenery. If you look carefully, you can see that the scenery in the painting is based on Yezhuao Village.Along the wooden stairs, I walked up to the second floor. There are two rooms and a living room on the second floor. I used to live in the room inside, and the other room may be Gu Xin's bedroom.There are also several oil paintings hanging on the wall of the living room, and the scenery in the paintings is also the landscape of Yezhuao.I went up to the third floor again.The entire third floor is probably a big room. The door was locked. I stretched out my hand and pushed it, but it didn't open.I think there is some secret hidden in it.That should be Gu Xin's secret.I was a little scared, as if something was going to break through the door and swallow me up.At this moment, Yu Tao yelled from downstairs: "Ah Hong, where are you? It's time to eat—" I regained my composure and walked downstairs quickly.During the meal, Gu Xin kept picking up food for me, always staring at me, but ignored Yu Tao, as if he didn't exist.This made me even more uneasy, I just bowed my head to eat without saying a word.Gu Xin made a request for me to move into his house, but I did not agree.Gu Xin was a little embarrassed.Yu Tao smiled and said: "Uncle, I think so, Ah Hong should live in the dormitory of the unit for the time being, and it will be more convenient to go to work. In addition, you have to give her some time to make her psychologically more fully prepared. We will come back to see you often." Gu Xin glanced at him with a weird look, and said with a wry smile: "That's the only way to go." My heart trembled suddenly, and I felt that he was a little bit displeased with Yu Tao's weird glance kindness…… I always thought that Yu Tao's family would treat me as well as he did, but in fact it was not like that. I have been to his house twice, and Yu Tao's parents are lukewarm to me, only his younger sister Yu Susu is closer to me.I didn't care about the attitude of Yu Tao's parents towards me. As long as Yu Tao treats me well, it's not a problem.However, when I came to the door that time, I couldn't hold back the grievance and anger. It was nothing at first, I am used to their indifference.After dinner, Yu Tao's father went out to play chess, and his sister didn't come home because of something.There are only three of us and his mother in the family.His mother was washing dishes in the kitchen, and I offered to help her, but she coldly refused.I just talked with Yu Tao in the room.After a while, his mother stood at the door of the room and said, "Xiao Tao, come out, I have something to tell you!" Yu Tao asked me to lie on the bed and rest for a while, and then went out.Vaguely, I felt that something was going to happen, so I lay down inadvertently.So, I went out.The kitchen door was closed, what did their mother and son say inside?I was very curious, so I tiptoed over.I stood outside the kitchen door, pricking up my ears.I have always had good hearing and I can hear them even though they are softly speaking. "Xiao Tao, you are obsessed with ghosts, how could you fall in love with such a countryman!" "Mom, how can you say that about Ah Hong!" "Then what do you want me to say, that she is a flower? That's right, she is beautiful, and no matter how beautiful she is, she can't hide her rustic look. You haven't seen it, but there is always a gloomy look in her eyebrows and eyes." Angry, very upset. In fact, it’s nothing to be a countryman, but you are clearly a countryman, but you treat yourself as Miss Jiao! You don’t even wash the dishes for me after dinner.” "Didn't Ah Hong want to wash it for you? You don't want others to help you!" "Oh, let me just say it politely, she really went out, why didn't she rush to wash it! I think there is a problem, and it can be seen from the trivial matter of washing the dishes. I'm not talking about you, in the future you If you are really married, she will do nothing, and you will be the one who suffers. You treat her as a treasure now, and then it will be too late for you to regret it. In my opinion, it is better to break up with her as soon as possible. To be honest, with your Conditions, it’s not easy to find a girl, my old sisters always ask to introduce someone to you when they see me, so there’s no one you can fancy?” "Mom, stop talking, Ah Hong is not what you think, she is a good girl! I won't regret it!" "Hey! What's so good? Tell me what you want? Isn't it just a little more beautiful! Think about it, where was she when you had an accident? Did she come to the hospital to see you? Tell you, this way The woman is too scary. If you get sick in the future, will she take care of you? Maybe, even if you die, she will ignore you and pretend that nothing happened! You still say she is good, so what? Oh good! I can't even figure out what kind of magic she used to fascinate you like this! Mom is old, and she has never seen anyone or encountered anything. I don't think this countryman is a good person. If you listen to me, get her down as soon as possible! If you are stubborn, you can get along with her! I put my words here, and you don’t regret it in the future! Also, don’t bring her home again in the future, I see She has high blood pressure, if you marry her, we won't care, you have nothing to do with our family!" "Mom, how could you—" "I'm like this, you can listen to my words or not, it's up to you!" Hearing this, I couldn't help but shed tears. Yu Tao's mother's words humiliated me and made me feel that a catastrophe was imminent.I had a terrible headache, about to explode, and trembled all over, as if I had fallen into an ice cave.I couldn't stay any longer, so I frantically ran out of Yu Tao's house.Yu Tao heard the noise outside and chased him out.I ran frantically ahead, tears flying in the wind.Yu Tao shouted my name and followed closely behind. In the end he caught up with me.He grabbed my shoulders with both hands and said out of breath, "Ah Hong, what are you running for?" I couldn't say anything and struggled to leave him. He held me tightly, but didn't let go: "What's wrong with you, Ah Hong!" I still don't say anything. At this time, many spectators gathered around, their faces were so blurred. Yu Tao said: "Ah Hong, don't do this, don't do this! Calm down! I understand you, I really understand you! Don't take what my mother said! You must know that I love you, In the future, you will live with me, not with my mother! Our affairs have nothing to do with her or anyone else! Ah Hong, no matter what happens, I will never give up on you! You have to believe me! Believe My feelings for you! Ah Hong, do you know that I will not make you sad, you have gone through so much and need my care and love! Ah Hong, calm down!" I threw myself into his arms, crying loudly. Who knew that this was the last time I would cry in his arms, and I would never have another chance.I know that his heart hurts more than mine, I shouldn't make him sad, really shouldn't! He is the only true love in my life. He is my destiny! One day not long after, I didn't wait until he got off work to pick me up.I went to his work unit and his home but couldn't find him, and no one knew where he went.I searched every corner of Shanghai, but I couldn't find him.He just disappeared inexplicably and never appeared again. After Su Xiaosan read the letter, her heart became gloomy.A scene from a black and white movie came to mind: Xiao Ahong was running around in the cold rainy night, calling the name of his beloved.The desolate night was old and sad, the rain hit her pale face, and it was not known whether it was rain or tears that flowed down.She staggered and ran, and fell down on the dripping street, unable to get up, she stretched out one hand, grabbed it forward, and shouted: "Tao, where are you—" No one answered She, only the cold rain is extinguishing all her hopes... It was raining outside the window. The temperature dropped sharply, Su Xiaosan was so cold that his teeth were chattering, but he forgot to add clothes to himself. If I have such a lover, if he also evaporates in the world one day, what will happen?Su Xiaosan's heart aches when she thinks about it. She suddenly thought of Chen Huaiyuan. Although I was still worried about him, there was no such unforgettable pain. She would not search around like crazy in this cold rainy night. Su Xiaosan let out a long sigh. When can I have a lover who can die for him? Perhaps this is a fantasy that cannot be realized in a lifetime. Just like Xiang Hanlan, she has experienced many men in her life, and there is no one who really loves her until she dies, and even her death is not suitable. This is the tragedy of women. This is also the source of women's fear. Su Xiaosan remembered Jiguang. On such a cold rainy night, Jiguang is like a ray of sunshine piercing through the clouds, warming her heart like frozen earth.She suddenly wanted to call him, but she didn't know what to say to him.Su Xiaosan stared at the portrait on the wall that he had patched up bit by bit, thinking, just miss him silently.It is also a kind of happiness to have someone who you can miss without distracting thoughts, no matter how small this kind of happiness is, just like a little spark. There is one last cover to be designed tonight. After finishing this cover, the manuscript can be submitted. ... It was getting late at night, and the rain outside the window was getting heavier and heavier. Su Xiaosan was exhausted, turned off the computer and prepared to sleep. Just then, the doorbell rang. Could it be that lunatic Guiguzi? Su Xiaosan picked up the kitchen knife and walked out. She asked tremblingly, "Who?" A faint voice came from outside the door: "Yes, it's me—" Su Xiaosan recognized his voice, it was Chen Huaiyuan.He always appears out of nowhere like this.Su Xiaosan suddenly burst into an unknown fire: "What are you doing back again! Didn't you go to kill people!" Chen Huaiyuan's weak voice: "Xiaosan, please, please open, open the door, I, I'm about to die—" Su Xiaosan opened the door. Chen Huaiyuan fell to the ground. The clothes on his body were torn, his face was bruised, and he looked dying. The dagger that was brought out at the beginning was gone. "What's wrong with you?" Su Xiaosan said. "I, I'm dying—" Chen Huaiyuan looked like a dying wild dog. Su Xiaosan sighed, helped him up and put him on the sofa.He was lying crookedly on the sofa, holding his hands tightly together, trembling all over. His lips were purple, his eyes were dull and pathetic. Su Xiaosan covered him with a quilt. He said tremblingly, "Thank you, Xiaosan—" Seeing him so mournful, Su Xiaosan didn't bother to scold him anymore.In any case, he didn't die, and Su Xiaosan didn't have to worry about his safety when he came back alive.She said, "Go to sleep, I'm tired too, it's time to go to bed." Chen Huaiyuan said: "Xiaosan, you, don't, don't go—" Su Xiaosan said, "What else do you need?" Chen Huaiyuan said weakly: "Small, umbrella, please, please, please, give me something to eat, I, I'm about to die, I can't—" Looking at him like that, it really looks like he is going to die. Su Xiaosan was a little panicked, if he died here, then—— She didn't dare to think about it, so she had to say: "Be patient for a while, I'll get you something to eat. By the way, there's nothing at home, only instant noodles, so you can make do with it!" Chen Huaiyuan said: "What, you can do anything, I, I haven't eaten for two days—" Soon, Su Xiaosan cooked instant noodles and put them in front of him: "Get up and eat." Chen Huaiyuan struggled to sit up, staring straight at the steaming bowl of instant noodles.He stretched out a trembling hand, took the bowl of instant noodles, paused for a while, and then started to gobble it up.After a while, he ate everything.Su Xiaosan stared at him blankly. In her eyes, he was just a hungry stray dog. Even if you gave him shit, he would swallow it! After eating the noodles, Chen Huaiyuan regained his energy, swallowed his saliva and said, "Xiao Shan, do you still have instant noodles?" Su Xiaosan said: "There are more." She cooked two more packs of instant noodles for him, but one pack was not enough. Chen Huaiyuan ate up the instant noodles again. Su Xiaosan said: "Do you want more?" Chen Huaiyuan shook his head: "No more." Su Xiaosan said: "Then go to sleep!" Chen Huaiyuan collapsed on the sofa, looking at Su Xiaosan tearfully. Su Xiaosan said: "Is there anything else you need? If there is nothing else, I will go to bed." Chen Huaiyuan wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, and murmured, "Xiao Shan, I'm sorry—" Su Xiaosan said: "Don't say these useless words, go to sleep quickly, you have not sorry anyone, if there is something wrong with me, I deserve it, and it has nothing to do with you! Do you understand, it has nothing to do with you nor!" Chen Huaiyuan said, "Don't you really want to know why I keep leaving without saying goodbye?" Su Xiaosan sneered and said, "Hey, but I don't want to know now." Chen Huaiyuan said: "If I must tell you, will you listen?" Su Xiaosan thought for a while and said, "I'm not interested. If you insist on talking, I'll just listen." Chen Huaiyuan sighed and said: "I want to tell everything, so that I can have an explanation to you, and it is also a kind of relief for myself." Su Xiaosan sat down: "Speak, I'm listening!" "Everything is about my father. I told you that my father lost his legs on the battlefield, but he was not a hero, he was a deserter. When he died, tell me that he was finally free. His life was lonely The tragic, helpless, and humiliating! He was freed, but I was not. When I buried him, I couldn't even afford a coffin, so I found two uncles from my family, tied him up with a broken mat, and dug a coffin next to his grandfather's grave. I made a hole and buried him hastily. There was no tombstone in front of his grave. I just found a pebble, carved his name on it, and placed it in front of his grave. At that time, I knelt in front of my father’s grave , weeping and said: "Son, I must build you a magnificent tomb and erect a tall tombstone. If you can't do it, let the thunder and lightning from the sky strike me to death!" My father has no dignity when he is alive, and I don't want to die when he dies. Afterwards, I was also looked down upon by others. Just as I finished speaking, there was a rumbling thunder from the distant sky." "I thought that with the pen in my hand, I could earn enough money to build a luxurious tomb. In fact, I am a person without the ability to live. I am weaker and more incompetent than my father. I found that the poems I wrote were毫无用处的，我也去打过工，可是我根本就吃不了苦，受不了罪，况且，那低廉的工钱连我的生活也成问题，给父亲修墓看上去是一个泡影。我离开那些打工的地方，在城市里漂泊，游魂一样。我到处骗吃骗喝，过着行尸走肉的生活。我特别羡慕那些有钱的诗人，他们的确过着高贵的生活，到处都充满了诗意和阳光，想干什么就干什么，率性而浪漫地活着。骨子里，又特别仇恨他们，凭什么他们做任何事情都能够获得成功，而我却不能，只能在社会的最底层挣扎。被人们称为'诗人'时，我会羞愧难当，说实话，我不配！我还是戴着一顶诗人的破帽子，掩饰自己的空虚和无力，我找不到更好的东西来掩饰自己。我人模狗样地去参加一些诗会或者诗人的活动，装出一副愤世嫉俗的样子，喝大酒，吹大牛，讲哥们义气，其实我内心是多么的自卑！多么的无地自容。” “认识你是个意外。也是我一种卑鄙的手段！在此之前，我一直认为那些高傲的上海姑娘都很有钱，刚刚认识你时，我也是这样想的。你能够和我交往，接受我，让我欣喜若狂，我就产生了一个恶毒的念头，利用我们的爱情来获取你的钱财，实现我心底的那个愿望，给父亲修一座像样的坟墓，然后无情地离开你。结果发现，你并不是我想象中的那种上海姑娘，我想离开你时，却发现自己真的爱上了你。我不忍心给你增加负担，像条癞皮狗一样赖在你这里，有时，也会心疼你，希望自己能够替你分担一些生活的压力，仅仅拥有爱情是不够。我多么希望能够让你过上好日子，体面而幸福地相爱，可我还是无能为力，一切只是停留在幻想之中。我这样的人是活该饿死的！无论如何，我不能坐以待毙！只要听到雷声，我的心就在颤抖，仿佛老天在警示我！你没日没夜地在电脑前工作，令我汗颜，坐立不安。” “终于有一天，我走出了那一步，那是绝路！当时我觉得是一条生财的捷径。我听一个写诗的小白脸说过，只要去陪那些寂寞难耐的富婆睡觉，就会得到丰厚的报酬。他毫不羞耻地说，他就那样干了一年，用陪富婆睡觉赚来的钱，开了个小公司，也当上老板了！就是这样，他还偶尔的去应酬她们……看来，我只能走这条路了。我想，干它半年，赚够了给父亲修坟墓的钱，我就收手，再也不干了！可这事情并不是随便哪个男人都可以干的，不但要有良好的心理素质，还要有良好的身体条件，还要……我找到了那个小白脸，鼓起勇气和他说出了心中的想法。他用古怪的目光上下打量我，弄得我心里七上八下了。过了老大一会，他哈哈大笑，然后说：'你不会是和我开玩笑的吧？看你平常人五人六的，也会想干这事？'我已经没有尊严了，那层薄薄的脸皮已经无情地撕下，我点了点头说：'我没有开玩笑！看在钱的分上，我什么都愿意做！'他说：'这就对了，这年头，可以和任何东西过不去，就是不要和钱过不去！尊严值几个钱，狗屁都不是！好吧，我支持你，带你入行！'” “我不敢把这个事情告诉你，如果你知道了这个事情，那我们就完了，我不想离开你，真的！我还这样想过，如果真的能够像小白脸说的那样赚到钱，修完父亲的墓后，就给你开个图书设计公司，这样对你也有个交代。于是，我就不辞而别了。我本来想骗你，说到哪里去，可是说谎会让我更加难受，就算了，什么也不说了，总有一天，你会明白我的一片苦心。小白脸给我介绍了一个叫洪鲭的富婆，是个肥胖的中年妇女。她穿着打扮特别时髦，看上去的确很有钱的样子。我们第一次见面是在一个茶馆里，小白脸介绍我们认识后，就走了。事前，小白脸交代过我，如果她看上我，也许会开出比较低的价钱，因为我不是演员，也不是走红的牛郎，无论她开多少钱，都先应承下来，只要她玩高兴了，钱不是问题。小白脸走后，洪鲭细眯着眼，脸无表情地审视我。那时，我感觉自己就是性用品商店的某件商品，心里悲哀而又惶恐。我的脸滚烫滚烫的，一直到耳根，头也晕乎乎的，不知道自己在想什么。良久，她肥厚的嘴唇间吐出了一句话：'看上去还可以，不是那种老油条，就不知道床上功夫如何。'我什么话也说不出来。她笑了笑说：'小陈，别紧张，我看上你了，你有什么要求？'我摇了摇头，不晓得自己能够要求什么。洪鲭说：'这样吧，按天计算价钱，一天付你1000元，你看如何？'我没有讨价还价的权利，也没有这方面的经验，只好点了点头。她用湿漉漉的舌头舔了舔嘴唇说：'好，就这样，成交！'” “洪鲭开着一辆红色的保时捷跑车来接我，上了车，就一直朝佘山方向驶去。车开得很快，我感觉自己随时都会飞出去。很快地，我看到了一幢别墅，洪鲭把车开进了车库，停好车后，她就把我领进了别墅。是一个面无表情的年轻女佣给我们开的门，她还把一双松软的拖鞋放在了我面前。洪鲭问她：'小林，水放好了吗？'小林说：'放好了。'洪鲭转过脸对我说：'把你身上的衣服全部脱了！'我看了看她，又看了看小林，迷惘地说：'全部脱了？'洪鲭笑了笑说：'对，全部脱了，一丝不挂！听明白了吗？'我点了点头。当着她们的面，我把衣服全部脱了下来，双手下意识地捂住了底下。洪鲭'咯咯'地笑了，说：'你知道害羞，不错！'小林还是面无表情，她把我脱下来的衣服和鞋袜都抱走了，连同我那个旅行箱。洪鲭拉着我手上了楼，进入了一个房间。这个房间很大，中间是一张大床，五个人躺在上面也不嫌窄。大床的左面是个小酒吧，酒柜上摆满了各种各样的好酒；大床的右边是个小客厅，有沙发茶几以及电视等视听设备。房间的墙上挂着几幅油画，全是些裸男和裸女的画像。她把我领进了房间里的盥洗室。盥洗室也很大，比我们住的地方还大。夸张点说，那个浴缸和你的卧室差不多大，浴缸里放好了热气腾腾的水。洪鲭先让我用淋浴把身体冲洗干净，然后才让我泡进浴缸里。她也脱光了衣服，抖动着那身肥肉，爬了进来……泡完澡，洪鲭让我把她背到床上，她很沉，压在背上，让我喘不过气来。我想，拿人钱财替人消灾，无论怎么样，我都受着。她躺在床上，让我吸她松软的奶子，她呻吟着，身体不停地扭动……她的双手把我的头从胸脯上推下去，将我的头按在了她的阴部……她嗷嗷直叫，像只母狼。我受不了的是，她竟然有狐臭。她感觉到了我对狐臭的反感，停住了叫唤，娇嗔道：'你不觉得有狐臭的女人更加风骚吗！'我强忍住不让自己吐出来，心里说：'陈怀远，你一定给我忍着，为了钱，为了不遭雷劈，就是面对一具腐烂的尸体，也得忍着！'……那个晚上，洪鲭疯狂地和我做爱，我被她弄得筋疲力尽。” “这不算什么，真正的折磨是从第二天晚上开始的。赤身裸体的我被她绑起来，扔在床上。她自己却坐在吧台上喝酒，边喝酒边用恶毒的目光审视我。我不知道她要干什么，心里忐忑不安。洪鲭喝完酒，肉嘟嘟的脸变得绯红。她拿起一根皮鞭，走到床边，不停地抽打我。边抽打边恶狠狠地骂道：'臭男人，老娘打死你，看你还敢在外面乱搞女人，连老婆都不要了，连家也不要了——'皮鞭抽在身上的滋味不好受哇，我喊叫着求饶，在床上滚动。最后，我滚落到床下，她还是不停地追着我打，我在地毯上翻滚，却怎么也躲不过她手中凶狠的皮鞭……遍体鳞伤的我奄奄一息地躺在地毯上呻吟。洪鲭放下了皮鞭，突然哭了，流着眼泪解开了我身上的绳索，抱着我说：'心肝宝贝，谁把你打成这样，娘心痛死了哇——'我要崩溃了，这是一个什么样疯狂变态的女人！” “还有更变态的。她用拴狗的链子拴在我脖子上，她牵着狗链子，让我像狗一样在地毯上爬，还这样问我：'狗狗，我就这样牵着你到大街上走，好不好？'我表示沉默，她就用脚踢我，说我是条养不熟的狗。我只能对她说：'好的，主人！'她走累了，就坐在沙发上吃葡萄，看着电视，把我撇在一边，不让我坐，只能像狗一样趴在她旁边。洪鲭高兴了，就会低下头，摸摸我的脑袋，说：'狗狗，叫两声给我听听。'我就学了两声狗叫：'汪汪，汪汪——'她乐了：'狗狗渴了吧，嗓子都哑了，来，吃个葡萄！'说着就把一粒葡萄塞进我的嘴里……” “洪鲭每个晚上都变着法子折磨我，我忍耐着，痛苦地忍耐着……最恶劣的是，她会在白天叫来几个富婆一起搓麻将，到了晚上，她们就一起折磨我……我死的心都有了，可我还是忍耐着！……第一次在她那里住了一个月，以为我卖命的服务会让她多给点钱，谁知道一分钱也没有多拿到，只是那三万块钱！想想一个月能够赚三万块，已经很不错了，心里平静了许多。走出她家门前，小林把我的衣服还给了我，让我换下了她家的衣服，穿上自己的衣服才能离开。你也许会问我，那三万块钱哪里去了？告诉你吧，给小白脸了。那天，是他开着车来接我离开的，在车上，告诉我，他的生意越做越好，问我愿不愿意投资，还说，三万块钱给他，到年底就会返回三十万给我。我相信了他的话，就把钱给他了。我真的很傻，以后那几次从洪鲭那里赚来的钱都给他投资了，我想，到了年底，就会有很多钱了，可以回老家给父亲修墓，也可以给你开图书设计公司，我也再不用去伺候那些变态的富婆了。谁知到了年底，小白脸说，那钱还不能给我，公司准备扩大，再过一年，我的钱就会好几倍的增长。我又一次相信了他的话。就在前段时间，听说小白脸的公司倒闭了，人也失踪了，我那血汗钱也变成了泡影！你说，我心里这一口恶气能够咽下去吗？我做那种事情，多么恶心哪！想起来，我就要吐，把苦胆水都吐出来！你知道从前我多么喜欢吃红烧肉，现在看到红烧肉就想吐，就会想起洪鲭那身臭烘烘的肥肉！我窝囊哪，连我父亲都不如，面对死亡，他还知道逃跑；面对耻辱，他选择默默承受！我算什么？我什么也不是！如果我找到小白脸，我一定会杀了他，他摧毁了我所有的希望！我找不到他，怎么也找不到他！我没有办法，只好从头再来！” “最后一次不辞而别，我是又去找洪鲭。她把我留下来，折磨了我几天后，就一脚把我踢出了门，因为她又物色上新人了。令人气愤的是，她竟然以500块钱一天和我结账。我说：'洪姐，不是说好1000块钱一天的吗？'她冷笑地盯着我说：'你值吗？以前给你1000块，算抬举你了，就你这种货色，给你500块，已经便宜你了！要是好货色，花再多的钱，我也乐意，你去打听打听，我是小气的人吗！况且，现在经济危机，生意难做，你能够拿到500块，算你走运！知足吧！'我只好灰溜溜地离开。我没脸回来见你，真的，小伞。花完那些钱后，我走投无路，只好又回到了你这里。你赶我走，我赖着不走，你以为我愿意这样让你生气，让你伤心吗？我没有办法哪！世界这么大，就没有我的容身之所！我恨！恨自己，恨小白脸，恨这个世界！” “想想，心里气不过呀，觉得小白脸和洪鲭是一伙的，设计好了套让我钻！我决定去找洪鲭讨个说法，让她把小白脸交出来。我来到了她的别墅门口，按响了门铃。开门的是面无表情的小林，洪鲭一定是给她灌了迷魂汤，让她变成了一个机器人。她看着我说：'你还来干什么？'我气呼呼地说：'找洪鲭！'这时，洪鲭手上端着一杯酒，穿着真丝睡袍，走过来说：'我的名字是你叫的吗？连狗都不如的东西！你来干什么？老娘不是不要你了吗！'我的眼睛冒着火，长时间以来的屈辱瞬间爆发，愤怒地吼道：'臭婆娘，杀人不见血的恶妇！你把小白脸交出来——'洪鲭把手中的那杯酒泼在我脸上，咬着牙说：'你找死！'她的话音刚落，就冲出几个打手，我从来没有见过的打手……我不想活了，决定杀了洪鲭，于是，那天我揣着磨好的匕首，再次来到了她别墅外面。这次我没有敲门，而是躲在别墅旁边的小树林子里。只要她一出来，或者一下车，就扑过去捅死她！可我真是个窝囊废，我连她的汗毛都没有碰到一根，就被他们抓住了。他们往死里打我，然后把我关在了车库里，扬言等我饿死了，就悄悄地把我尸体沉到海里去。被关在车库里的两天里，我想了很多，后悔没有听你的话，脚踏实地去做一些事情，和你恩恩爱爱地生活！一切都晚了，我只有在这里等死，遗憾的是，死前不能再见你一面，不能对你说一声抱歉的话！就在我以为自己要死的时候，小林救了我。她偷偷地打开了车库的门，给我松了绑，撕掉了封住我嘴巴的胶带。她表情十分焦虑：'你赶快逃吧，再也不要回来了，明白吗，你斗不过他们的！'我说：'我走了，你怎么办？会连累你的！'她说：'别啰嗦了，你再不走就来不及了！你不要担心我，我不会有事的！快走吧！'说着，她递给了我100块钱，我知道，那是给我的车钱……” 苏小伞喃喃地说：“你真傻！真的很傻！” 陈怀远说：“我把一切都告诉你了，也见到你最后一面了，死而无憾了！” 苏小伞抹了抹眼睛，难过地说：“你不能再干傻事了，好好地休息，把身体和心态都调整好，然后重新开始生活。尽管我已经不爱你了，你还可以继续地住在这里，直到你有能力搬出去自己过。如果我以后有钱了，也可以借给你，回去把你爸的坟墓修好，这样也了了你的一件心事。听我一句话，千万不要再干傻事了，如果你真的爱过我！” 陈怀远叹了口气说：“可是我已经走得太远了，无法回头了。心中的仇恨无法化解！谢谢你，小伞！”苏小伞说：“你好自为之吧，我该说的话也说了！路在你脚下，看你自己怎么走！”