Chapter 19 Chapter Eighteen

I had a dignified and beautiful girlfriend during the two years of my pre-med at Peking University, and I lived in a muddle. I struggled to get up in the morning and ate two boiled eggs with no salt or MSG.My girlfriend cooks eggs every day. After I ate them for two years, the physical examination found that my blood lipids were abnormally high. This is rare for a person as thin as me, so I stopped eggs.It took me five minutes to wash my face and urinate. At that time, my beard was not fully hardened, and it was not growing fast. I shave every three or four days.I rode a bicycle with no bell, no brake, and no license plate. I put my schoolbag and rice bowl in the messy basket in front of the bike. There was a spoon and a fork in the lunch box, and I rushed to the classroom clanging.I listened carefully, trying to figure out the world, and when I got tired of listening, I looked at the trees outside the window and the pretty girl sitting in front of me.In the biology department where we were taking classes together, there were quite a few good-looking girls who described her as Miaoman, and it was useless to look at it.I always try to sit at the back of the classroom and keep the big picture.After thinking about it, I realize that I am thriving and growing up every day.My girlfriend and I went to the cafeteria to eat together. Picking a pair of canteens from School 1 to School 7 that seems to be edible is like picking a pair of underwear that feels clean from the pile of dirty clothes in the morning.My girlfriend asks me if I have a good appetite. When I have a good appetite, two people buy eight taels of rice. When I have a bad appetite, I buy six taels. I usually have a bad appetite, but my girlfriend always has a good appetite.My girlfriend went shopping and I was looking for a table in the dining room.When I eat, I like to grope around to see who is chatting with whom, who is feeding whom; I find that most of the girls who usually describe Miaoman eat ugly.After dinner, my girlfriend went to wash the dishes, and I stayed there to read my schoolbag.I have to sleep at noon, I am thin, once the stomach is full, the blood supply to the brain will be insufficient, and I will be tired after meals; if I am not allowed to take a nap, I will have withdrawal symptoms, as if I have not been able to take opium.Many years later, I found that in the pharmaceutical industry, most directors have the same nap habits as me, although none of them is thin; moreover, the bigger the director, the greater the addiction to naps, so don't take a nap between 12 noon and 2 p.m. Find them to discuss business in a short time, otherwise the business will definitely fail, and the directors will hate you for two or three years.After dinner, my girlfriend and I went to self-study hand in hand. She must have taken a good seat in the "Three Teachings" (Third Teaching Building) or "Fourth Teaching".On the top of the head in a good position, both lamp tubes of a lamp are bright, so you don’t feel tired after reading for a long time. This kind of lamp with both lamp tubes on is rare in the study room of Peking University.We don't go to the library, where people are sent to the school hospital every day because they compete for seats in self-study.None of the people who competed for seats loved reading.The library is warm in winter and cool in summer, and it is comfortable to sleep on the table. There are magazines in the reading room on the second floor, and there are often beautiful girls. If you happen to sit next to you, you can watch how they sit down and spread their hair. , How to pack your schoolbag and put your hair up.If there are beautiful girls sitting next to you and sleeping together on the table (sleeping can be contagious), you can go back to the dormitory and brag "I slept with so and so today".I am a good student, but during the evening self-study, I can't read serious books for too long. I keep all kinds of idle books in my schoolbag all year round.Most of the cases are like this, in the first two-thirds of the time of self-study, I was reading idle books, I was happy, and I laughed out loud. Dozens of eyes in the self-study room immediately turned to me, blaming me for affecting their recitation of GRE words.Tired of reading idle books, I like to sleep on the desk for a while. I am always sleepy. My mother said that everyone is like this. I can’t wake up before the age of thirty, and I can’t sleep after the age of thirty. I look forward to the age of thirty. Hurry up Come.Sleeping at the desk is not as comfortable as the bed, and I fell asleep, and when I got up, my face was red and flat.In winter, the desktop is cold, and I shrink my hands touching the desktop. My girlfriend puts a notebook under my hand. The cover of the notebook is fluffy, which is very warm.My girlfriend never gets sleepy, sometimes she won't let me sleep, and when I'm tired of reading, she takes me for a walk.When we went for a walk, my girlfriend always let her hair down, and after the walk, she put it back into the classroom and put it back into a neat braid and fastened it with bobby pins.Her hair is thick and long. According to traditional Chinese medicine, if she is strong, she will grow her hair, and if her Qi is weak, her nails will grow. My girlfriend has a lot of Qi and great strength.Before I lost my virginity, I didn’t think there was anything special about Peking University’s campus compared to other places in Beijing: it’s just an ugly little house built on a palm-sized empty space, why? I can't realize that our country is vast and rich in resources and products as described in geography books since I was a child.What's even more strange is that each extremely ugly small house has its own unique ugliness, which is never kitsch, implying the style of folk architects; it is also a modern building with a big roof. All the buildings are covered with white tiles, and the roofs are enlarged; a dead mouse in the waist pretends to be an old hunter, and a laid-off female worker with double eyelids and big breasts sneaks into the nightclub and pretends to be Su Xiaoxiao. .After reading idle books, taking a nap, and taking a walk, the study room closed in less than an hour. I started to read serious books with guilt, and my efficiency was surprisingly high.At ten minutes to ten o'clock, we were kicked out by the administrators of the study room. They didn't love science at all, and they didn't let us study for a while. They wanted to go home as soon as possible.After leaving the study room, no one was in a hurry to go back. The villains without girlfriends felt lonely just at this moment.When the weather is good, my girlfriend and I rode a bicycle around Weiming Lake, nourishing our eyes, soaking up some spiritual energy, and watching Boya Tower standing upright in the dark, never soft, holding Weiming Lake, not letting She is too cloudy.My girlfriend sat sideways in the back of the car and hugged my waist from behind.Many years later, my girlfriend and I had the opportunity to sit together drinking and chatting again, and she told me that she had taken a fancy to me when we were training together in the military.The Army Academy where our military training is located has a rather large library. There is a large table in the reading room, with people sitting on both sides, and an iron partition in the middle to prevent people on both sides from holding hands and looking at each other. seam.My girlfriend saw my mouth through the gap, it was thin and melancholy, as bright as orchid.She also told me that she fell in love with me when she sat sideways on the back of my bicycle and hugged my waist from behind.My waist is slender and tough, like a small steel wire.I sent my girlfriend back to the dormitory. I pulled up a car in front of their dormitory building, found a tree, leaned on it and hugged and entangled with my girlfriend. We did warm-up exercises before going to bed, and then went back to our respective dormitories.Under the trees to our left and right, there were other men and women embracing and twining at the same time.When the aunt in the dormitory building was approaching eleven o'clock, she yelled loudly, "If you don't come in, I will lock the door!" My girlfriend and other girls ran out of the woods, shouting: "Auntie, don't close the door!" Rushing into the dormitory building, the voice was sweet and flattering.I looked at the boys on the left and right, their faces were very familiar, but I couldn't name them, we smiled at each other friendly, like comrades-in-arms, then rode on the bike and went back to the dormitory.The door of my dormitory building was closed. I skillfully jumped into the building from the toilet window on the first floor. That window was never closed and could not be closed.My room is close to one end of the building, and there is a window at the other end of the building, overlooking the female building opposite.Xin Ning often waits for me to come back by this window before the lights are turned off, smoking a cigarette together, chatting, looking at the girl's building opposite, the curtains of that room are accidentally left open, and I see a window with fragrant clothes and temples.Xin Ning said that he would go to Albemarle Road and buy a Russian binoculars; he also said that if it wasn't for Heitian, if he hadn't stretched his neck to look at it, and those girls took off in front of him, he might not necessarily look at it; so, People are perverted.After smoking a cigarette, Xin Ni went back to sleep.Xiao Li from the Chinese Department next door yawned and walked out of the room with his underwear on, "'Whoever realizes the big dream first, I know it all my life'. Qiushui, let's wake up, let's go to the bar together, this year's fried escargot just came out."

Many years later, when I recalled the past, I realized that the two years at Peking University were the golden age of my mental development. In those two years, although the years passed, I experienced a great learning process. In the pre-med stage, we took classes with the Biology Department of Peking University, and finished all the basic courses of the biochemistry major. Those are some messy things.We took five chemistry courses, four physics courses, and did physics experiments and chemistry experiments for three semesters.The male teacher who led our physics experiment has an enchanting figure and is the lead dancer of the senior Yangko team of Peking University. When speaking, the most common beginning is: "When my brother was studying at Princeton University in the United States." When he was doing the experiment, he never paid attention to us. The boy threw himself on the girl's side with great patience.According to Hopu, even if we were electrocuted to death, he would not come to take a look.But at the end of the semester, he was chased and beaten by a girl surnamed Cao in the biology department with a resistor, and he ran out of the physics building with the legs and feet trained by the Yangko team, and survived. This is the famous murder case of resistors in Peking University.The circumstances of the case are complicated and confusing, and there are different opinions about the motives. I haven't figured it out until now, so this case has become a famous unsolved case like the Ming Dynasty Hongwan case and the Ting Chi case.From general botany to plant taxonomy, from invertebrates to vertebrate zoology, we realize that the real driving force of evolution is incest and cranky thinking.How could there be a mule if the donkey didn't elope with the horse?If elephants don't sleep with ants, how can there be man-eating ants?We went to psychology and learned how to infer a person's sexual orientation from a person borrowing a boat to cross a river. When we see anything standing upright on the ground, we think of phallic and psychoanalysis.Let's take class C mathematics, don't think that class C is easy, most people can't rank in mathematics in college. Class A mathematics is studied by the Department of Mathematics, Class B mathematics is studied by the Department of Theoretical Physics, and then we study Class C.It was through contact with students from the Department of Mathematics and Theoretical Physics that I gradually developed a reverence for nature. There are indeed some unknowable things in the world.Looking at the weird and clever students from the Department of Mathematics and Theoretical Physics, I gradually believed that aliens once walked on our earth. They used various unconventional ways to have wild sex with all the famous talented women in ancient times, and they would not let them go. (Here I need to explain that the aliens who came to the earth all have the title of senior astronauts, and there are very few women among them, just like the pirates in the 15th and 16th centuries. The aliens have no interest in talented people from the earth, and think their brains and penis are too childish, just like after our reform and opening up, it was all Western men who abducted our beauties. This is an important law of the evolution or decline of civilization, and I will write a million-word monograph to discuss this issue separately).Our ancient geniuses were utterly perplexed by these wild co-ops, which were either done in a flash, like a white horse, or in an unconventional way that did not penetrate the vulva.Our ancient talented women may think that they are just having a dream, and their hearts are swaying, but their stomachs are getting bigger day by day. This is an undeniable fact.In the "Bible" ancient scrolls found in the Dead Sea, the beginning of Jesus is vaguely recorded: the Virgin saw a white ray of light, and God passed through the ears of the Virgin and the Virgin for a moment, and after this moment, the Virgin conceived Jesus But she was still a virgin, and there was not a trace of blood on the white sheet.In the world of aliens, the network is developed, and everything is done through the network. The penis evolves into a special optical cable, and the vulva evolves into a special network interface. With a white light, the yin and yang reunion is completed.After studying the Dead Sea Scrolls, I carefully read the human anatomy atlas, and I feel that in the female structure, the ear should be the best place to modify it into a network interface.The ear bone originally evolved from the jaw bone, and oral sex is the most ancient and complex way of human sexual behavior.No one knew or doubted these things at first, but when I carefully observed those grotesque and clever students from the Department of Mathematics and Theoretical Physics, various clues began to form stories in my head. More advanced genes, they themselves are evidence that aliens have existed.I, a math classmate surnamed Zhao, was raped and then abandoned by his girlfriend. He borrowed three differential geometry exercises and used them as exercises to resolve his grief.Zhao did not leave the dormitory building for a week, and ate half a basket of apples. Apples were grown in his hometown, and the apples had been stored. He brought a basket to school every semester.A week later, student Zhao told me in a low voice that the universe is actually only two-dimensional. The world is actually a plane, like a piece of white paper. The occasion repeatedly describes paradise.Classmate Zhao wrote an English article and sent it to a professor in Princeton.Before sending it, he asked me to look it up. I don’t understand his two-dimensional universe theory, but I know his English is shitty. It's DEAR PROFESSOR".Three weeks later, the professor wrote back, saying that he had read Zhao's article for a week, and he was still not completely sure whether Zhao's two-dimensional theory was correct, but he was very sure that anyone in the world who was qualified to make judgments There are no more than three people.He was very sure that it was a waste of time for Zhao to go to school again, and no one could teach him anything new. The professor wrote, "Come to Princeton, the few people who can chat with you are here. There is a ticket to the United States in the envelope."A detailed discussion of this issue is far beyond the scope of this book, but if you don’t believe me, you can play a game of digging mines on the computer with my classmates, and then you tell me that people and people are born It's all the same, you have the same head as them, see if I don't slap your mouth.

I don't know why we students of medicine should learn these things. I don't know whether otitis media can be cured has anything to do with knowing that the ear bone evolved from the jaw bone.Learning these things is not all about enjoyment.I learned C-class math like a big head.Obviously, the talented woman of my ancestors was not free and unrestrained enough to seize the opportunity to have sex with aliens, just like my sister now, who has been in the United States for many years, has not managed to get a green card from an American hunk.When I took the high math test, I counted. There were eleven questions in total. I made six and a half questions. In the second half of the test, I kept calculating the probability that I could pass.During the human anatomy, Mr. Bai asked if anyone knew the Latin scientific name of human beings. He hoped that no one would answer, so that he could ask and answer by himself and show his knowledge.I raised my hand and said it was HOMOSAPIENT.Mr. Bai reacted very quickly, and immediately said, that is to say, those from our medical university can answer such questions. We have skills that other medical schools do not have, and we have basic training from Peking University.Mr. Bai said that a patient is a person first, a person living between heaven and earth, and then a patient; so to understand a patient, one must first understand the person, and to understand a person, one must first understand the world in which the person lives; if a doctor wishes to The patient should not come to him, but put his hardened liver or ulcerated stomach in a paper bag and send it to him. He will be finished in this life, and he will never become a generation of famous doctors; the education of the medical university is to let us become famous doctors. To become a master, the course must be different.When we heard it, we were quite proud, our chests swelled, and we felt that we were going to become a figure, just like hearing a politician say for the first time when we were young that the world is ours after all.I didn't realize until I was very old that this was nonsense, that old people were going to die after all; besides, it didn't matter whose world this world really belonged to.I have come up with a simple way to identify liars: If someone asks you, do you want to know how to save money, save money, and make a lot of money without effort, he must be cheating you; if someone asks you, do you want to know what is He must lie to your soul about the origin of the world, what is your past life and afterlife; if someone asks you, do you want to know who the world really belongs to and how it is fair, he must lie to you for more than ten years life.

During the golden age of my mental development, my girlfriend and I learned about each other's bodies and how to be together.It's also a great process. There are many people on the street, and I don't know them.There are a lot of people in Peking University, and even though their faces are more or less familiar, I can't open her shirt and touch her breasts without consent.In this sense, it seems that I only know my girlfriend.According to Zhao's theory, the world is like a blank sheet of paper. If you poke a hole, you can go to the other side. The other side is the heaven repeatedly described by various religions on different occasions.I stick out my penis, like sticking out my finger, I poke a hole in my girlfriend's body, I'm on the other side of the world, is there heaven?

In the traditional sense, my girlfriend was a good student, healthy young man in almost every way.She listens carefully and is never late.She keeps exercising and keeps her body strong.She doesn't eat cancer-causing food and doesn't think wildly.However, in the traditional sense, my girlfriend is definitely not a good student, healthy youth in one respect.Her interest in my body is much greater than my own interest in my body. According to the traditional definition, she can be called lewd. "Don't be angry." I pushed my bicycle and walked by the Weiming Lake with my girlfriend.When I seriously told my girlfriend that I thought she was horny, she got all scowling and looked like she wanted to smack me. "Slutty is definitely a good word in my dictionary. It's like saying that Jia Baoyu is the most slutty person in the world, which is a compliment."

"You can tell me about it, how lewd is a good word." She was still angry, and she implied that if I couldn't say it, I would still be beaten. "I always thought that whether a man is beautiful depends on whether he has wisdom, not intelligence but wisdom. This is not even necessarily related to whether he has a penis. For example, after Sima Qian was castrated, he is still charming and beautiful. Whether a woman is beautiful depends on the woman Is it lascivious, not frivolous, not good-looking, but lascivious. If I were a woman, I would rather have no nose than not be lewd. If you think about it carefully, are all glamorous women very lascivious? This is Qiu An important basis for theory."

"You don't have to worry, if you are a woman, you have enough energy to make the surrounding chickens fly. I still don't like the word lewdness. You can use it on other women, not on me. I am wholeheartedly for you. " "Wisdom can be roughly divided into two types. One is the wisdom of Da Vinci, which is all-encompassing. Da Vinci painted pictures, taught mathematics, studied human anatomy, and designed a fully automatic toilet without toilet paper. Another kind of wisdom is concentrated wisdom, such as the professor who wrote it. He has only two fingers that can move all over his body, and he only understands time tunnels and black holes in the universe. Lustfulness can also be roughly divided into two types. One is for anyone with a taste Men are interested, the other is only interested in one man. Both Lin Daiyu and you belong to the latter."

My girlfriend didn't speak, but the expression on her face that wanted to smack me was gone.The girls always seemed willing to stand with Lin Daiyu, that consumptive ghost. "Actually, lasciviousness and lasciviousness are not exactly the same thing." When I talked about arousal, my thoughts often flowed like a fountain, and I couldn't stop it.Telling me to shut up at this moment is more serious and vicious to my body and mind than pouring a bucket of ice water into my crotch a minute before my orgasm.My girlfriend discovered this a few years later and used it often, but she didn't know it when she was in Peking University.Every time I talk about getting up, she silently listens to my venting. "Using the theory of yin and yang, lewdness belongs to shaoyin, and prostitution belongs to shaoyang. To be more specific, using words as a metaphor, Lawrence's words belong to lewdness, and Henry Miller's words belong to slutty. If someone says my words are lewd, they really praise me gone."

"It will be said. It will be said that you are a slut in your own right." "Only you." "real?" "real." "Do you like me being horny?" my girlfriend asked.At this time, we have reached the water poverty, it is late spring, there are no clouds in the sky, the night is very dark, and the wind is very warm.My girlfriend snatched my hands and put them on both sides of her waist. My bicycle fell slowly into the grass on the side of the road with gravity, and the rice bowl in the basket jingled like wind chimes.I locked my girlfriend with my arms, her hair and eyes under my jaw, her legs hard, and we both moved into a lilac tree by the side of the road.The lilac tree was huge, covering the whole field, and it was like a huge tent around us.The lilacs are in full bloom, and through the branches and leaves, there is a beautiful moon, and the lilacs are shining with silver light.

"Do you want to know how horny I am?" my girlfriend asked. "Want to dream." "People should be restrained in doing things. I have always done things properly. Do you know that lilac flowers mostly have four petals. If you pick a lilac with five petals, God will grant you a wish, no matter how impractical or unrealistic the wish is. It is not in line with the principle. I am now picking a lilac at will, counting from the far end, there are dozens of lilacs. If I pick a lilac with five petals within these ten, I will let you know how lewd I am, Otherwise, you can take me back to the dormitory by bike, it's almost eleven o'clock, and the aunt will lock the door of the dormitory."

My girlfriend picked a branch at random, reflected the moonlight, and started from the far end to identify the number of petals of the lilac.Out of ten lilacs, five have five petals.My girlfriend smiled slightly, her eyes fluttering.Her hands fluttered up and down around my body like moth wings, and finally settled on my waist.It was late at night, there were no butterflies, and the butterflies were all asleep. "I don't like you in jeans," she said slowly. "What would you like me to wear?" I asked. "I like your sweatpants. Didn't I send you a nice pair of sweatpants?" "Why do you like me wearing sweatpants?" "Easy to feel your erection, easy to put myself in, easy to take it off." "I don't like you wearing jeans either," I said. "What would you like me to wear?" she asked. "I like it when you wear skirts." "why?" "It's convenient to wear a skirt." "What's convenient?" "It's convenient for me to make mistakes." My girlfriend kissed me slowly, deeply and orderly, from top to bottom, to very bottom.After all, they are people who have received strict science training. "There's something about you," she said. "Nonsense, I just took a shower today." "It has nothing to do with taking a shower. It's the smell coming from your body." "I'm not terminally diabetic, I don't have ketosis, I don't smell like rotten apples. I'm cranky, but I'm not deranged enough to smell like rats." "It's a nice smell. Do you still remember that the first cranial nerve is the olfactory nerve, which is connected to the ancient hippocampus in the brain and is closely related to sexual desire." "So perfume is big business." My girlfriend's hair is loose, thick and unruly, billowing around my waist.I seemed to be standing in waist-deep water, the waves were choppy, and I couldn't stand still.Through the gaps where my hair spread out, I saw the moonlight falling under the lilac tree and the little lilac flowers falling, like sparks and swimming fish on the bottom of the sea. "Make your smell into a perfume, I'll buy whatever it costs." She kept moving, and her voice was intermittent. "When I was with you, I was not shrewd at all. I had no self-control for you, and I knew that sooner or later I would deviate. I thought, if you dare to talk to others, I will kill your little brother first, and then cut off Drop your tongue. I think, you are useless. Now I find that I was wrong, without a penis, without a tongue, you still have the taste in your bones, and you are still lewd." "I only want you, only you are good, only you are comfortable to hold, more comfortable than a pillow." "Your logic is wrong. Don't fool me into being a liberal arts girl. You haven't been to others, so how do you know that others are not good. The world is big and there are many girls." "The gold has already been dug, why continue to dig?" "I really want to hug you like this, for a day, a year, and for a lifetime. During the eight years in the medical university, can you accompany me well? I don't know what's going on, why you make me so addicted. I don't care about anyone else. Great job. I don't understand why you have me chained so tight." "Why did you say you only let me stay with you for eight years?" "How long do you want to stay with me?" "I'll stay with you as long as you let me stay." "You said that after eight years have passed, can we still separate?" "It's hard enough now." I'm in her, what else can I say.I think of five lilacs among ten lilacs, and feel fate.But then I soon discovered that this lilac tree was a mutant, a whole liar, and that it had more five-petaled flowers than four-petaled ones.Some physical and chemical factors can make animals and plants mutate, such as nuclear radiation and so on.Based on the experience of this lilac tree, I think that wild hybrids should also be regarded as a factor that induces mutation.Over the years, I don’t know how many people have met, known each other, embraced each other, and married under this tree. How many people have made a wish, and how many lilacs have been picked to predict the timing from acquaintance to acquaintance to embrace to on-site wild marriage. .My girlfriend also discovered the beauty of this tree later. When we needed to decide how many times a day to mess around, she pulled me under this lilac tree and said to me solemnly and reverently: "The vast majority of lilac flowers It has four petals, and five-petal lilacs are unique. We focus on our studies and strictly demand ourselves. Now I pick a lilac at random, counting from the far end, and there are dozens of lilacs. If I pick within these ten lilacs If you get a few five-petal lilacs, you can destroy me several times today. If you don’t have any five-petal lilacs, you and I won’t destroy them once, treat each other as guests, correct our thoughts, and go to the Three Teachings for self-study together.” It was twelve o'clock when we left this strange lilac tree.Usually, when troubles come to this time, my girlfriend always anxiously calculates which aunt is on duty, who is not familiar with her, and whether she can talk to her so that she can open the door and let her go back to the dormitory; what if the aunt doesn’t open the door? Will not let people like Wei Yan, Fei Yan, Gan Yan see; will they make irresponsible remarks and so on.That day, from the moment we walked out of the lilac tree to her dormitory building, she didn't say a word. When we parted, she told me that my things smelled very much like the smell of ailanthus. There are many Ailanthus trees on the campus of Peking University, which seem to be blooming all the time, and the campus often smells of Ailanthus flowers.My girlfriend said "my stuff smells like ailanthus", and I'm impressed with that statement.For a long time, I always felt that Peking University was a lustful place.In such a beautiful garden, there are so many old Peking University talents who foreshadowed, and now there are young talents with bright faces and fire eyes, it is inevitable that it will not become a place of lust.Although there is no definite evidence, I think that the talented people of the old Peking University, the people with the most affection and nature, can think of the places we can imagine, and they committed crimes in those places.This is history.I commit crimes in places I can imagine, and write "to this point." I feel that this month, like the ancients, countless affectionate seniors are hiding in the dark corners of these places, supporting me.This is the sense of history.In a place without decades of history, I can't feel sensuality, just like facing a girl who hasn't been wandering in the rivers and lakes for a few years. The smell of Ailanthus and the atmosphere seemed to affect some people. Astragalus, who has a refined manner in every gesture, is frequently harassed by a few big men from Japan and Korea who came to study. They gave Huangqi a lot of records in Japanese and Korean. Astragalus played a lot in the dormitory. Hear the difference between the two languages.Huang Qi and those people had many banquets in Shaoyuan, and she came back flushed after drinking, and told me that those people were very good at ancient prose. The plain body is wild, and the haiku recited has a deep sense of Zen.Huang Qi asked Xiao Li from the Chinese Department, what is the goodness of Longyang, and what is the friendship of broken sleeves.Xiao Li said to Huang Qi, those Japanese and Koreans want to know if you are more interested in them than in girls.Huangqi wine suddenly came up, and they were about to rush out to fuck their mother.If Xiao Li and I hadn't stopped us, someone might have died that day.Peking University is a very sensitive place. Tsinghua University can kill an individual, but Peking University cannot kill a chicken.At that time, it was the turn of spring and summer, and it was a certain anniversary, so I didn't dare to cause accidents casually. Hopu often cried and complained to us, saying that he was always being touched by people, including men and women, including Wei Yan. None of these people was a good person, "fat people are not touched casually."We advise Magnolia, we must first understand those people, fat people are naturally beautiful, warm in winter and cool in summer, it is a good place to let go; Magnolia is also born with good skin, full of pearls and jade, light shines on people, Wei Yan just heard boys say that Magnolia skin is like cream Only then did he have the courage to ask Hopu if he could let her touch it lightly, and Hopu agreed with a blushing face.Hopu said to us afterwards: "As a boy, you can't be so petty."According to her own experience, Huangqi offered Hopu a strategy: if someone touches him again, regardless of male or female, Hopu should take the initiative and kiss the person who dared to touch him to death, and then quietly said: "I am the first one you kissed." woman".Hopu used it once, and it immediately became news. After that, no one carelessly played with our Hopu. Xin Yixin met a girl named Xiaocui from Beijing University of Technology.In the evening, Xin Mi smoked with me before the lights were turned off, and began to discuss with me the implication of some of Xiaocui's actions.Xin Ni told me that last night, he and Xiaocui were walking on the lawn in front of the library, Xiaocui kept pressing him as she walked, pushing him against the curb several times, what does this mean.I'm afraid that the world will not be chaotic, saying this is too obvious, she wants you to suppress her, and ask Xin Ni why the opportunity was missed.Xin Ni looked suspicious, saying that he is not a hooligan, how could he know everything, but Xiaocui will come next weekend.I said that the principle of analysis is simple: all round containers are interpreted as breasts and uterus, all sticks are interpreted as penis, and all actions of Xiaocui are interpreted as wanting to sleep with you.I saw that Xin Ning was still suspicious, and found two books by Freud and Jung from under the shop, "Let's flip through them carefully, and see if I'm right."Xin Ning turned on the flashlight all night, and all the batteries in the dormitory were exhausted overnight, and this bastard is not bad for using his eyes indiscriminately.When I was urinating the next morning, Xin Ning told me that my analysis was wrong, or that the two foreign hooligans, Fu and Rong, had analyzed deeply. It was not that Xiaocui wanted to sleep with him, but that he wanted to have sex with Xiaocui. Cui went to bed, this is not a simple difference in order; and according to Freund's theory, once he proposed, Xiao Cui would not refuse.One night after that, when I went back to the dormitory, what was waiting for me at the door was not catkins, but astragalus, and a person was smoking a stuffy cigarette.I asked what was wrong.Huang Qi said that Xin Mi was in the dormitory.I said it was his dormitory, of course he could be in it.Huang Qi said that Xiaocui was also inside, he didn't know just now, Xin Ni didn't barge in the door, he saw everything when he broke in, Xin Ni said to him: "You go out first." It gave Huang Qi the feeling Yes, he will go out first, and it will be his turn when Xin Mi finishes by herself. My girlfriend and I faced the same problem as Xin Ni and Xiaocui. There is no safe and comfortable place to commit crimes in Peking University.This problem is actually everyone’s problem. At Peking University, doctoral students have to share a dormitory with two people, and hang a curtain to block the view. Everything else can’t be avoided. Farting can be heard and smelled.There are four things that must be done at Peking University. If you don’t do it, although the school allows you to graduate with a degree, the masses will not recognize it, thinking that you have failed your youth and the shadow of the lake.There are many versions of these four things that must be done, reflecting the different views of people in different eras on committing crimes.When I was there, the prevailing version was: first, pee once under the statue of Cervantes; second, dance "Ping Si" in Xuesan canteen for one night; First; Fourth, mess around on the stone boat on Weiming Lake.The fourth article is not that the masses insist on apostasy, it is full of depression that the people have no place to commit crimes.The stone boat on Weiming Lake is very windy, and it is easy for the little brother to have a stroke. However, in another sense, this situation of not having a suitable place has contributed to us being like our ancestors, awe of nature and experiencing outdoor crimes. I grew up in weeping willows since I was a child, and the building where my house is located has a strange shape. There are no more than five buildings that look like that in Beijing.Our house was very small. Later, when my brother left and my sister went abroad, the house became bigger. I had a room of my own, and I only let my first love into that house.Although my house is a building, there is no toilet in the house. To go to the toilet, I have to go downstairs and use the public toilet next to Sanniuzi's house.The distance from the third floor of my house to the public toilet is not close. In winter, the northwest wind blows, and the distance feels even further.My stomach is unlucky, and I often make noises.When I was in trouble, I carried the toilet paper roll and rushed to the public toilet. My behavior was ridiculous, and it was one of the eight sceneries of weeping willows.长此以来，我尽管体育很差，但是爆发力惊人，跑百米，前五十米鲜有对手。体育老师一度认为我是棵苗子，可是总感觉我的姿势不雅，介于火烧屁股和狗急跳墙之间，其实我是满怀便意，着急下楼。我从小发誓，我长大要让我老妈老爸住上比这大一百倍的房子，里面到处是厕所。我从小就感到自己的文字天赋，我四岁时通背毛主席诗词，那是那时候街面上唯一见得着的诗词，那时候没有《全唐诗》。我四岁时在公共汽车上高声背诵毛主席诗词，背到第三首之前，总有人给我让座位。我十一、二岁的时候比现在狷狂，认为四岁时背的那些诗无它，唯吹牛耳；李白无它，唯胡思乱想耳；杜甫无它，唯下死功夫耳。但是尽管我有文字天赋，我终究没有学文。靠写文章挣钱，一个厕所也买不了。然而，我老妈从小告诫我，我不应该在意房子的好坏，我其实根本不应该在意房子。 《蒙古秘史》记载，我们的祖先成吉思汗说过：“有一天，我的子嗣们放弃了自在的游牧生活，而住进污泥造成的房屋时，那就是蒙古人的末日了”。我老妈告诉我，不要以为老妈是阿Q，没有葡萄说葡萄酸，葡萄不酸什么酸？我老妈在我十一、二岁的时候预言，我骨子里游牧民族的血将诱惑我四方行走，旅行箱里是全部的家当，生活在边缘上，拍拍屁股明天就是另外一个地方；我一旦求田问舍，买了带好些厕所的房子，我的气数就尽了。老妈告诫我，别忘记幕天席地，敬畏自然。我让我老妈放心，天气热的时候，我抱紧我的女友，弹开她的发卡，散开她的头发，把我们俩全遮住，那就是我们的房子。天气冷的时候，我打开我绿色的军大衣，我的女友钻进来，那就是我们的房子。我的目光依旧凌厉，我的手干燥而稳定，我的肋骨依旧根根可数，我的大腿没有一点赘肉。我的气数还长。 在我女友头发的帐幕里，在我绿色的军大衣里，呆的次数多了，我渐渐领会燕园的好处，这是个易躲难找的地方。听说设计燕园的是个美国人，难为他一个外国人体会到中国古典园林的精髓，难为他在那个时代预计到后代学子户外犯坏的需要。燕园不大，但是你从任何地方，任何角度，都看不透，看不到头，让你体会天外有天，人外有人。燕园的地势或高或低，草木或密或疏，小径或曲或折，但是从明处，绝对看不到隐秘所在；从一个隐秘所在，绝对看不到另一个隐秘所在；告诉你，你自己本身可以很大，你怀里现在抱着的姑娘是你所能拥有的全部。据说故宫有九千九百九十九间半房子，不知道燕园一共有多少隐秘所在，可以让多少人同时犯坏而互不干扰。这些隐秘所在散布燕园四方，但是相对集中于临湖轩、俄文楼附近。 多年以后，我们住进到处是抽水马桶，没有苍蝇需要拍打的好房子，我们拉上厚重的窗帘，防止对面楼里那个小子用望远镜偷看。我们的老婆们坐在沙发上已经看了半小时成人录像，我们的家庭影院设备一流，但是老婆们好象还是没有什么感觉，我们老婆的眼睛只有在看见CARTIER的钻石之后变得迷离。我们冒着心脏病发作、脑中风的危险，服用蓝色小药片，涂抹印度进口神油，据说这种神油出产于百年之前，象窖藏千年的葡萄酒一样金贵，百年前还被印度得道的高僧开过光，甚是灵验。我们不经常举行这种仪式，我们觉得繁琐而乏味，好象在公司里半年一次的业绩评估。我们会想念燕园那些看得见月亮和星星的隐秘所在，那种阴阳不存在阻碍的交流，天就在上面，地就在脚下，我们背靠大树，万物与我们为一。燕园留下唯一的缺憾是，我们当众没人懂得如何叫床，我们的极乐世界静寂一片。隐秘所在不隔声音，我们需要嚎叫，但是我们的手捂住对方的嘴。 我和我的女友最喜欢的燕园隐秘所在，在未名湖后面的五、六个小湖。那里春天有荠菜，夏天有竹子，秋天有落叶，冬天有干枯的芦苇和满湖的白茅，什么时候都没有人，月亮再亮星星再多的时候，也有隐秘的地方可以在头发的帐幕里、军大衣里仔细拥抱。 “你真的没有想过去试试别人，看看有什么不同？我感觉你是个好奇心很重的人。”一个初冬的夜晚，我和我的女友坐在小湖边的一块石头上，后面是棵大柳树，前面的小湖结了一层薄冰。我打开我的军大衣，我的女友在军大衣里，打开她的衣服、我的衣服。她好象总有许多问题，我有没有办法和她讲逻辑，我们俩用的不是同一个体系。 “别打岔，我在考察你有那些兴奋点，它们的相对强弱如何，你需要安静，仔细体会。其他姑娘有什么特殊，不会长第三个乳房，第二个肚脐。即使长了，也是畸形，不看也罢。”我的手指起落，在黑暗中，我看见星火闪烁。 “我的胸罩才买三个月，就又显小了。” “不好意思，我没有什么长进，内裤还穿原来的号码。” “你打开胸罩的动作太熟练，一只手一下子就解开了。我真怀疑你是个老手，在我这里装清纯。我的胸罩是新式的褡扣，我自己双手解，半天都解不开。” “我还没说你呢，你还怀疑我。我刚刚完全说服自己，你不是经验丰富，而是天生安定从容。你为什么不能这样想我呢？我敏而好学。我一开始连抱你的时候手放在你身上什么地方都不知道，连亲姑娘的时候还允许使用舌头都不知道。现在我知道你身体上每一寸地方，我知道你有九处敏感部位。” “算我说错了。别生气。我毫不怀疑你有天赋，你就是当了太监，还是能让女人到高潮。” “太肉麻了，我没有那么大本事儿。但是我有本事找到你，骚扰你，让你不得安宁。你可以把我先奸后杀，但是不能始乱终弃。那不是你的出路。你如果不理我，你把呼机关掉，电池抠下来，我还是有本事把你的呼机呼响。” “我是认命的，我认命了。我从前有个男朋友，你别浮想联翩，我和他没有任何身体接触。我那时上高中，他大我十岁，学音乐的，在上研究生。我和他唯一的一次身体接触是和他分手的时候，他握了握我的手。你记不记得我们在军校的时候，第一次见面，你笑着握了握我的手，说你叫秋水。你的手和他的手有种奇怪的相似，同样干燥而稳定，细长而冰凉。我在那个时刻感到命运，我认命了。” “后来那个人呢？有没有到欧洲得世界音乐大奖？现在还常常通信？他长高了吗？早上吃不吃菠菜？”我问。 “我不想谈这个问题。事情已经过去了。” “他如果抱着你，抚摸你，你会不会感觉自己是一把琴？你有九个琴键，能弹出不同强度的声音，都很动听。” “我不想谈这个问题。事情已经过去了！” “我对音乐一窍不通，而且在可预见的将来还是一窍不通。上小学的时候，音乐老师考我们认音。她先给我一个基准音，说是'1'，然后在弹另一个音，问我是几。这不是胡说八道吗？我他妈的知道是几？上初中的时候，班主任可喜欢我了，他终于找到一个五音缺的比他还多的人。他刚从师范学校毕业，爱上我们的音乐老师，音乐老师说，没见过五音缺三的人，有什么好谈的。我的班主任把我拉到音乐老师办公室，说，让你见识见识，这个小伙子五音缺四个，咱们还是谈谈吧。” “我跟你说，事情已经过去了！”我女友叹了一口气，开始缓慢地亲我，亲得很深，亲得很有次序，由上到下，到很下。我只好闭嘴。 “你们干什么呢？”我听见一声喝喊，看见两道强光，是校卫队两个二狗子。他们穿着蓝色的棉大衣，戴着人造狗皮帽。 “我们在看风景。” “又是你们两个。”这两个校卫队队员，我和我的女友见过。上次，我叫嚣要咬张校医，张校医叫来的就是这两个家伙。这两个人自以为捉奸捉双，他们重权在握，一脸得意。 “我们又没被开除，你们整天到处晃悠，自然能看见我们了。”我说。我女友暗暗拉了拉我的大衣袖子，暗示我，别和他们计较。 “你怎么这么说话呀？你要看风景，到保卫处去看吧。你们可以看一夜。” “你们怎么让我到保卫处去呀？”我阴阴地问。我的眼睛在黑夜里放射绿光，我老妈看了都害怕。我书包里有哥哥的菜刀，好久没见血腥。我打量着那两个人，也打量这小湖周围的地形，我计算着从何处出腿，一腿一个，把这两个家伙踢到湖里去。 “天太晚了。你们该回宿舍了。这里不安全。”他们看见我眼睛里的凶光，口气软了下来。 “我们马上回去。”我女友用对待宿舍大妈的态度对那两个人说道，声音甜腻，极尽谄媚。那两个人受宠若惊，以为压掉了我的风头，屁颠屁颠地走了。 后来听说，这两个人中的一个，在燕园逗野猫，被野猫狠狠咬了一口，没及时打针，感染上了一种变种狂犬病。平时与其他校卫队员无异，月圆的时候，就有一股强烈的冲动，四足着地，在燕园的小径上狂奔。另一个负责在燕园家属区，收缴凶器，闹得鸡飞狗跳。第二天，传来消息，他玩弄火枪，自己打伤了自己的左肾。