Chapter 16 21-22 Beijing

Beijing (1) 501．One day, walking on the road, a sycamore leaf fell on my head, which reminded me of a boy I liked but hadn't contacted for several years.I just texted him: Do you like me?I am Sangge.He replied: I like it.I'll post again: please express.He made some brief statements, and I thought it was okay, so I sent: Wait, I will come to you in the afternoon. 502．Then, in the years when the aviation industry was not doing well, Southwest Airlines sold a ticket from Chengdu to Beijing on the same day, at full price. 503．On the plane, I took out my very popular Watsons Rose Spray, held it up in front of my face, closed my eyes, and gave it a couple of "呵呵" twice, eh~ why didn't I feel moisturized?Turning his head to look, the glasses of the man next to him were covered with mist, and his expression was very puzzled.

504．The nozzle needs to be aligned, next time. 505．At the beginning, my understanding of the office building was that everyone inside was writing with a Chinese pencil. 506．On a night in late autumn in Beijing, Sang Gege was very stylishly dressed in an ancient Tang Dynasty maid's gauze dress, standing in the wind, with a mouth like a budgerigar, goose bumps pattering down his wide sleeves.I was holding a green plastic fruit plate with a few plastic fruits on it, and I followed a group of people in the same attire with my belly in my stomach and chest out, and I walked with small court steps, tick-tock.I tried to tell myself, don't hit the person in front, don't roll the fruit out, etc., but it didn't work, what was supposed to happen had to happen.I silently sang Tai Zhengxiao's "Find a word to replace" in my heart: Kao~!

507．The director is a kind person, and he said to the assistant director kindly: You Shabi, what kind of tricks are you looking for!The assistant director is also a good person, he came over and said to me kindly: Shabby, are you okay? !I don't want to play to pull ~!I am even a good person, and I am a famous good person brand: Sichuan good person, my attitude is not only kind but also firm: you are the only one who has a problem... I think it is a pity to speak Mandarin at a critical moment, so I immediately changed to Sichuan dialect freely: Geguizi The old man has feces in his mouth, pus on his head, pus under his feet, and stinking shrimp all over his body!I won't act anymore...

508．My fairy clothes and neon clothes fluttered, I held my head high, and left. When passing by the director, I greeted the director in Xiaoping accent: Work hard, little comrade~.Suddenly saw a familiar figure behind him, took a closer look, and coughed~!Liu Xiaoqing's got it~!She was also looking at me with a half-smile, she was also a good person from Sichuan, and obviously understood what I was saying.I actually nodded to her and said: Hello, sister Liu.She nodded with a smile: good.That's good, Bao Pair, this is the opening remark of our good guys from Sichuan. 509．Although I brought a little bit of stored food from Chengdu, it was almost finished.Lao Tzu lay in the rented hut, thinking about how to conquer the world.Well, let’s forget about the film world, and the literary world is not advanced either, so I have to find a job first.But, I haven't graduated yet, so what if I don't have a diploma?I was playing with a business card of "Great East Asia International Certification Group" in my hand, taking the exam and trying it.I got in touch with Mr. Jia Zheng, the chairman of the "Great East Asia International Certification Group". He was very enthusiastic and quickly agreed to issue me a graduation certificate from the "School of Journalism and Literature, Sichuan University". What a wonderful person~ !

510．The next morning, I put on my only white shirt and prepared to go to a certain magazine to apply for the post of reporter, and I made an appointment with Mr. Jia Zheng to hold a grand certificate awarding ceremony at the corner of the intersection where the egg pancakes stand.I went to strangle it happily, and the little hair was combed so lightly.However, when Mr. Jia Zheng took out the big red book, I found that it was imprinted on it: Sichuan Normal University School of Journalism and Literature, how could you transfer me without saying hello? !Mr. Jia Zheng scratched his head with red ink in one hand: "It's cheaper for you, 80, how about it?"I shook my smooth head sadly and left.

511．Anyway, I didn't starve to death, and a magazine asked me to do an internship.God boy, I promise you, I'll know one day. 512．When I first became a reporter, I couldn't type or do anything.I write on the manuscript paper, and if I make a mistake, I cut out the wrong lines, or I cut out the correct line and paste it on another paper.Haitao and Xiaoman taught me, saying: Don't cut it!Draw a frame around the unnecessary part and then type a delete symbol, that’s it, see if you see it, jiu jiu jiu~!If you want to restore it again, make a series of triangles below, just like this, if you see it, rub it~!

513．I can't remember a single word, so I grabbed the phone and called my friend: Ah!How to write that word? ...Oh, I remembered, you don't need to say it...Let's do this first, 88!During the whole call, he uttered a few onomatopoeias of "eh", "uh" and "oh",-he expressed his depression about this. Beijing (2) 514．I still interviewed some celebrities, such as Liming, who even gave me his dried mango.So our visit started like this-me: Your dried mangoes are super delicious!Liming: ...Thank you, let's talk while eating.I said: where did you buy it?Liming: I don't know, my assistant bought it for me.me!What a man of taste he is!Did you buy it in Hong Kong?Liming: ...Probably so.Me: I think the mangoes in Hong Kong are really delicious!dawn:……

515．At this point, I still have three minutes left for the interview. 1516．Me: So, what do you usually like to eat?Liming: Yes, rice with meat, but it is easy to get fat.I am!me too!Haha, the oily meat bibimbap is the most delicious!Especially what kind of nourishing water... Liming: Yes. 517．At this point, I still have 30 seconds left for the interview.Me: I, I, I, um, have to ask one last question!Liming: Excuse me?Me: Please tell me about the gossip... Hee hee.Then, his assistant came and said it was time.Finally, he gave me dried mangoes, waved to me, and smiled sweetly.me too. 518．It's so strange, I used to see Tiananmen Square on TV and thought it was real, but when I saw the real Tiananmen Square in Beijing, I felt it was fake.

519．I participated in the concert of the three tenors as a reporter.As soon as I entered the venue, I sat on a chair and raised my legs and started calling Zhang Min: Hey, do you know who is sitting in front of me now?Michelle Yeoh!Do you know who is sitting behind me now?Maggie Cheung!Do you know who is sitting on my left now?Andy Lau!Do you know who is sitting on my right now?Chow Yun Fat! ... Except for the first one which is true, the others are all fake and flirtatious lies, but the effect is there: the eyes of the Chengdu dolls collectively "swipe!" and turned purple. 520．A reporter teacher with a good relationship was going to Taiwan for a business trip and asked me if I would like to bring something. I said, if you have time, help me to visit Teresa Teng’s grave and offer some flowers!He was immediately in awe of me.When he arrived in Taiwan and finished his work, the receptionist said, do you want to go to a scenic spot in Taiwan?He said, if possible, I would like to visit Teresa Teng's grave!As a result, all the Taiwanese in the house were in awe.

521．I was interviewing the editor-in-chief of a famous media at home. In the middle of the conversation, I suddenly said in a sharp tone: Sorry, it’s urgent. I’ll call you in ten minutes, okay?He said: All right. 522．I raced out of the house to run after a cat who had a feud with me and grabbed my bra hanging in the backyard!Seeing that I couldn't catch up, I took off a slipper and hit it, "Swoosh!", the cat uttered an "ow" and disappeared.I picked up my shoes and went home panting and satisfied.Sip some tea, continue to make interview calls, and greet the waiting editor-in-chief politely; what did we talk about just now? ...Oh, yes, where does the discrepancy between urban planning and reality come from...

523．Once, when I was drunk, I went home at night to take out contact lenses, and almost pulled out my eyeballs without taking them out. I just remembered that I didn't wear contact lenses at all that day. 524．I bought a pair of plastic, and the English letters on the slippers, after careful identification by me, are: WC. 525．When I received a call from Zhang Min saying that I would come to Beijing tomorrow, I was so excited that I didn't fall asleep all night. I wrote all the homework (manuscript) for a week in the same night, so that I could play with her.The next day, she said: I got off the plane, but I have something to do first, and I will come to you in two days. 526．Don't look at Zhang Min, he is very proud!If I give her a piece of phoenix liver and dragon meat, she will definitely take two bites and throw it there: so-so, not bad! 527．Zhang Min is not used to eating anything, but only likes the kebabs at the gate outside our community.Once, we went to the Summer Palace to play, and we were so hungry when we came out, but we all decided to drool first and go back to eat mutton skewers.Along the way, we were discussing that you would eat a lot of mutton skewers, and I would eat a lot of mutton skewers, and then I would have some lamb kidneys and small kidneys, and drink a bottle of Yanjing... our hands were shaking.But when I got to the door, I saw that the mutton skewers didn't come today!When I asked, it turned out that the urban management had just mopped up.The two of us "Oh bah!" Spit mouthfuls of clear saliva on the ground to greet the mothers of the urban management and other elders. 528．Zhang Min has never taken the subway before, so I took her there specially.After coming out, I asked her how she felt?She dismissed it: Isn't it just a long-term car, driving left and right, right and left, without losing your head, what a big deal. 529．She brought a light green woolen hat, which I thought looked good, so I asked her to lend it to me.Then Dai went around asking people if they looked good, and if they looked good.There is only one answer: like a patient with terminal cancer.I returned the hat right away. Beijing (3) 530．go out.The winter in the north froze Zhang Min from the south like a mouse and shrank behind me. As for me, I have long been used to it. Min said, hurry up!Zhang Min's face was bruised: what are you doing so fast, no one will step on your tail!Suddenly, Zhang Min's eyes glowed strangely, and he ran to the edge of the fountain in three steps and two steps, lay down and touched it with his hands: hehe, this is a piece of ice! 531．She looks forward to skating every day, and steps on the fountain a few times a day to see if she wants it. Once the ice cracked, she screamed in fright, and I decisively commanded: Get down, reduce the pressure!All fours! 532．I made a mistake, instead of facing up on all fours, I should have all fours on the ground. Zhang Min's posture is a bit weird. 533．The wind on the Great Wall was too strong, Zhang Min, an inexperienced foreigner, spit against the wind, and was blown back with a "pop!", stuck to the upper left corner of her mouth. 534．Didn't I once have a huge musician boyfriend?At that time, my head was dizzy, and things almost got done. My mother came from Sichuan to attend the wedding. Her old man always likes to play conceptual art. She took out a big sack from Baotou and said, this is ginkgo, 4 catties 4 taels, make a fortune in four seasons; this is a lily, a good marriage for a hundred years; this is lotus rice, heart to heart;Half a year later, things got messed up, and the two of us hadn't been in touch for a long time. My mother made a phone call to the music master. He was about to perform a difficult performance on stage. She said on the phone: "Oh, the kitchen refrigerator is frozen." There are two catties of ginkgo in the second compartment of the room, you have to take them out to dry, or they will get moldy! 535．My mother has always played rough, but sometimes she is extremely delicate. Once, she came to Beijing to visit me. When I left, I bought a discounted ticket. The kind that got up at 5 o’clock in the morning, she said , Oh, it's annoying, and it disrupts people's endocrine! 536．The musicians were going to perform in Chengdu. I was so proud that I asked for a lot of tickets and brought Liu Peng, Liu Renhua, Zhang Min, Pan Lei and other middle-aged and old classmates to watch.Before the performance started, I was so proud to call everyone together for a collective lecture: This is elegant music, don’t slap your hands if you don’t understand~!Follow my instructions! 537．The musician on the stage made a pause, and I applauded immediately, but I was the only one applauding in the audience!Everyone turned their heads to see me, and I blushed so hard that I wished I could find a crack in the ground and get down!Moreover, he who was performing on the stage actually gave me a hateful look. 538．My mother said: Do you still remember the mother-in-law who took you with you when you were young? 539．When my mother was an honorable village teacher, she once asked an old lady to take me with her.The old lady was surnamed Lei and had no children. She thought my mother was kind and liked to come and talk to her.Sometimes my mother also helps Mrs. Lei.Once, the old lady came to my mother and said: Teacher He, why do you think my hair is falling out in handfuls?My mother asked her: What have you eaten recently?The old lady Lei briefly talked about her recent diet. My mother pondered for a moment, asked her to sit on the chair for a while, then went to open the cabinet and took out a basket of eggs, and handed it to her: Grandma Lei, you are lack of nutrition. 540．Grandma Lei ate eggs for a few days, and she really didn't lose her hair. 541．Granny Lei doesn’t know how old she is, but every day she puts up her little feet and picks up cow dung and dog dung on the ridge of the field in the early morning. She herself is a five-guarantee household with no land, so she picks them up and piles them up for the village in Xiatian. People, sometimes people give her a bowl of rice.In the countryside, it is said that 20 yuan will be sent to her every month, but she often fails to receive it, so she will come to my mother on tiptoe: Mr. He, you are a scholar, go ask the government, it has been a long time Send me my fee, and I only have 1 yuan on me. 542．My mother was entrusted with several such inquiries and asked, but there was no news.The old lady Lei stood under the iron bell on the playground and waited for my mother to finish class. My mother watched her snow-white hair blowing in the wind through the wooden fence of the window uneasy.After class, the old lady hurriedly grabbed my mother: Teacher He——, you are a scholar, go and ask... My mother took her hand: "Grandma Lei, come and sit down in my room!"When they returned to the dormitory, my mother pointed to a mound of meat that was fixed in the cradle in the corner and said, "Grandma Lei, this is my baby. It's 8 months old. I just weaned and no one takes it. Why don't you come here?" Take care of the baby for me, stay with me, and I will give you 15 yuan every month, okay? 543．The old lady Lei burst into tears: Thank you for which one~ Mr. He~!I am a lonely old woman, no one cares about me all my life, you are the only one who takes pity on me!When I was 12 years old, I sold it to a landlord as a small child. I was beaten and scolded by the old woman and I couldn't live a good day~!Later, she said that I had a high status and wanted to fight me, because I didn't even have a bed~... She became the first nanny in my life with snot and tears like this. Beijing (4) 544．She pushed me in the cradle every day and sang songs. My mother said that the old lady had a good voice, so old that she could call birds on the mountain.She sang: Pushing the mill ~ Raising the mill, push the tofu, please aunt, aunt does not eat dregs of tofu... She also sang: Zhang Datie, Li Datie, send the scissors to my sister, my sister let me rest, I will not rest... She also sang: Bugs, bugs fly~~ 545．My mother-in-law doesn't know when her birthday is, and every time she asks her, she recalls with a blank face: I know~, that year my mother gave birth to me and my mother gave her a navy blue smock , she waved her hand: Teacher He, I have bothered you so much, why am I ashamed to ask for your things... My mother said: Mother-in-law, why don't you wear it.Grandma Lei said: Teacher He, I am such an old man, I will die if I wear it, what a pity! 546．On the day we left, my father used a cart to pull a lot of rice and steel charcoal and piled it on the roof of my mother-in-law, and helped her fill up the water in the tank.I kept stumbling and holding Grandma Lei's hand, crying and saying to her: Bobo, let's go together!Bobo, let's go together!My mother-in-law didn't speak, she hit my face again and again with her bark-like face along the way, and tiptoed silently to send us on the road.My mother's eyes were red, and she handed her the money: Mother-in-law, take care of yourself, if you have something to ask someone to bring a letter, just say... 547．We drove away, and the thin and aging figure of my mother-in-law standing by the bamboo forest in the countryside became smaller and smaller, very small, and then disappeared. 548．My mother said that in the winter we left, Grandma Lei jumped into the biogas pool and died. 549．My mother has paid great attention to my quality education since I was a child, and she wants to teach me English in person.She pointed to the table and said, Resiyi is so beautiful every day!I said in a childish voice, the silk clothes are so beautiful every day!Pointing to the portrait of Chairman Mao on the wall, she said, Qiermenmao!I said childishly, Qiermenmao! 550．It is conceivable what level of my spoken English is now. 551．She also talks to musicians who have lived in the UK for 15 years.She said, you have stayed in the UK for so many years, I am here to test your English level.She pointed to the window: what is this?The musician replied politely, It's a window.She pointed out the window again: what's outside?The musician replied politely, There are trees and people.My mother finally gave up and nodded, um, it’s okay.My face was swollen into a piece of pork liver. 552．The musician called me in a hurry and said: There will be an interview later, it will be reported by a certain newspaper in Nanjing, how should I deal with it?What can I say? !I comforted him calmly: don't worry, talk to them about your hobbies and interests...he interrupted: but what hobbies and interests do I have? !I still said calmly: Well, you say, you love everything in the Russian style... He said: But what do I like in the Russian style? !I said: You said you like the thick and sad artistic temperament of the Russian nation... He shouted: Wait!I take a pen! 553．The next day, I bought a certain newspaper in Nanjing and opened the culture and entertainment section. The headline was like this - violin master so-and-so: I love Russian style. 554．The musician gave me a coat, which I didn't like and gave it to a relative.People ask, where did it come from?I said: Either the UK or the US, anyway, it's high-end goods.Later, someone checked the dictionary and told me that it was produced in Mauritius. 555．The musician is from Henan, so I had to live in Zhengzhou. After living for a long time, my accent changed a little. One day, a call from a foreign country came, but he was not there. I picked up the phone and said: Who is it? 556．Huah who is the fusion of "who" and "Who are you" pronounced in Henan. 557．I worked hard to earn a little silver for my mother, and said, you put it in better, and I will use it up in a few seconds.As a result, she went to invest in the shares. It is conceivable that everything was welded in. My mother comforted me and said: Don't be afraid, I will definitely make it out in 2008!Once, I heard my mother say on the phone: ...you believe that I can't be kidnapped, so-and-so stocks and such-and-such stocks are very good, suitable for long-term investment! - Hiss!She is still recommending stocks to others! 558．My mom and I went to a musician's solo concert, came out after it was over, and I asked, how was it?okay?My mother said seriously, go and remind him that the button on the sleeve on the left hand side is about to fall off, just flick it. 559．I took my mother on the plane to Saipan, a small island in the Pacific Ocean. We were sitting next to the emergency exit. The plane landed in Guam, Japan, and my mother said to the stewardess, hey!Come and open this door for me, and I'll cut it down and take a picture! Beijing (5) 560．On a foreign flight, a foreign stewardess politely asked me what I would like to drink in English, and I said: Orange!As a result, on such a long international flight, I can only drink "Orange", and I can't drink anything else. I can only afford this one word. 561．On the flight, I saw a fly and thought it was so pitiful that it might never return to its hometown. 562．A year after I broke up with the musician, I would occasionally think of him, so I looked up his latest news on the Internet. I saw an interview he performed in Chengdu a few days ago. Russian style fascinates me.