Chapter 13 Chapter Eleven Schweik Accompanying the Priest at Mass

{{1}} The preparations for the massacre of human beings are mostly done in the name of God or gods made up in people's imagination. Priests always officiated at the hanging, and their presence annoyed the prisoners. Naturally, the slaughterhouse of the World War cannot be short of blessings from priests.The chaplains of all armies said prayers and celebrated Mass, praying for victory for the side that gave them their jobs.When a mutiny is executed, a priest must be present.A priest was also present when the executions were carried out by members of the Czech Volunteer Corps. All over Europe, people were being herded like livestock to the slaughterhouse by a band of butchers—including emperors, kings, and other powerful people—as well as priests of various tribes.On the front line, Mi Tu always needs to have two sets.One is when the army is driving to the front line, and the other is crawling out of the trench, before the bloodshed and massacre.

{{2}}Shuaike's light sweet wine is very delicious, far better than all the old sailors.It was a light rum that the pirates of the eighteenth century would have liked. The priest was very happy. "Where did you learn the skill to make such a good light rum?" "That was many years ago when I was a vagabond," Schweik replied. "Taught me by a sailor in Bremen, who was a real hard boy. He said that rum should be strong enough to float a man from one side of the English Channel to the other. He said that if one didn't drink enough A strong liqueur that sinks like a rock in the sea."

"Shuaik, with this rum in our stomachs, we must have a first-class mass ready for us," said the priest. "But I thought I'd say a few words to you before I go. It's no child's play to do a military mass. It's not like a mass in an internment camp, or a sermon to a bunch of filthy jerks. Oh, not so much." Easy. You've got to pull out all your work. We have an altar, which folds up and fits in your pocket. Everything is set up in the practice field. The carpenter has already erected an altar. We I borrowed the monstrance from Brivonov. I should have had a chalice myself, but that thing..."

He fell silent again. "Let's just lose it. Then we can borrow Lieutenant Weitinger's silver trophy from the Seventy-fifth. Home. He did the twenty-five-mile marathon cross-country run from Vienna to Mudling in one hour and forty-eight minutes. He's always bragging about it to us. I made it up with him yesterday." The field altar was made by Moritz Maller in Vienna, a company run by Jews, who specialized in the manufacture of various holy images and objects used for prayers.The altar is composed of three parts, and it is thickly painted with gold, which is as splendid as ordinary churches.What is painted on the three parts of the altar is impossible to recognize without a rich imagination.Only one figure stood out: it was a naked man with a halo on his head and his whole body was blue.There is a thing with wings on the left and right, which originally meant to represent an angel. It looks like a monster in legends, like a wild cat with wings mated with a beast in "Apocalypse" ⑵.

Schweik put the open-air altar into the carriage properly, and then sat in the front compartment with the driver. The priest sat comfortably in the carriage alone, with his feet resting on the altar symbolizing the Holy Trinity. on the stage. At this time, the strong men were waiting impatiently on the training ground, and they had been waiting for a long time.For Schweik and the priest first went to Lieutenant Weitinger to borrow silver chalices, and then to the Brivonov Monastery to borrow monstrances, holy wafer boxes, and other objects for the Mass, including a bottle of communion wine.This goes to show that doing a Mass is not at all easy.

"We do this work on a whim!" Schweik said to the coachman. He was right.Because when they arrived at the practice field, they walked into the podium, and there was a table next to the wooden shelf, and the field altar was placed on it.Only then did he discover that the priest had forgotten the deacon.In the past this position was held by an infantryman, but the man managed to transfer to the communications team, and then went to the front line. "Sir, it's okay, I can do that job," Schweik said. "Do you know how to do it?" "I've never done it before," Schweik replied. "But give it a try. In war everyone is doing things that they never dreamed of doing before. But after you finish that verse of Dominus vobiscum, I'll add an etcumspiritutuo to it—don't worry Well, I'm sure. And then there's the comfort thing: walk around you like a cat on a brick. Then wash your hands and pour the wine out of your glass..."

"Very well," said the priest. "But don't you pour me water. I think I'd better fill the second glass right away. Anyway, I tell you all the time whether to go to the right or the left. If I whistle a little, That's the right side; twice, the left. You don't have to worry about the prayers. You're not nervous, are you?" "Sir, I am not afraid of anything. It can be said that it is very easy for me to do the job of deacon." Things went smoothly. The priest's sermon was very simple: "Soldiers! The purpose of gathering here today is to turn your hearts to God before you go to the battlefield, and ask him to give us victory and keep us safe. I will not say more, I wish you You are all well!"

"Slow down!" shouted the old colonel standing on the left wing. The soldiers standing near the altar wondered why the priest whistled during Mass. Schweik was alert and sure about the codes.He walked to the right side of the altar, then turned to the left, just kept chanting: "Etcumspiritutuo." It really looked like a red Indian doing a war dance around the sacrifice stone. Finally, the priest ordered: "Let us pray!" Suddenly, the dust flew up, and a piece of gray uniform knelt down towards the silver cup that Lieutenant Weitinger had won in the marathon cross-country race between Vienna and Mudling on behalf of the Sports Fans Club.

The wine in the silver cup was full.The result of the priest playing with the wine can be described by a private conversation among the soldiers in the audience: "He drank it all." This performance is repeated.Then, another "Let's Pray!" followed by a marching band playing "God Bless Us" Picking up their tune, they walked out in a formation of four. "Gather those things together," the priest instructed Schweik, pointing to the altar. "We can return them to their original owners." So they went back together with the coachman, returning everything dutifully except the bottle of communion wine.

After arriving home, he first ordered the unfortunate coachman to go to the headquarters to collect the fare for his long-distance business, and then Schweik said to the priest: "Sir, must the deacon and the person who presides over the communion be of the same denomination? " "Of course, otherwise the midas would not work," replied the priest. "Then, sir, you've made a big mistake just now," said Schweik. "I don't belong to any sect. That's my luck." The priest looked at Schweik, pondered for a moment, then patted him on the shoulder and said: "There is still a little communion wine left in the bottle, drink it, and you will only be considered a Christian." (1) Bremen It is a port in Germany. ⑵ "Revelation" is the last volume in the "New Testament".It describes many "end of the world" visions.